Korean Translation of One Cop No Legs Is Up

We have another Korean translation up, this time of the One Cop No Legs video, which is one strange video all right. Tons of Koreans are coming in to look at these weird videos of mine, so we are commissioning some translations for them.

It’s been quite a pleasure to work with young Koreans. Without insulting my White translators, the Koreans are simply better on average. First of all, they are young Koreans of both sexes and they are doing great work. Young Whites can sometimes do good work, but they often take awhile when they don’t flake out altogether. Of course, I don’t pay because there’s no funds to pay anyone, frankly. We all pretty much volunteer here at this website.

Young Whites are very oriented towards money are not really interested in working for free. On the other hand, a lot of them might as well volunteer because a lot of these guys are not doing much anyway. I get all sorts of young White guys saying they are going to work with me, and then they flake out. It’s gotten to be a cliche.

Also, young Whites tend to be quite independent-minded when they work for you. This is good, because it probably relates to the independent, creative and innovate potential of our people, but as a boss, it’s not so great. We pretty much want yes-men.

Which the Koreans are in spades! Koreans are very eager to please, and so nice and bend over to backwards to serve you boss that’s it almost seems naive. There’s quite an absence of difficult attitudes, rebellion and whatnot. On the other hand, I guess the downside is the stereotypical conformism of the Northeast Asian. I will say though that this conformism has been derided too much.

Young Koreans have been a delight to deal with. Some of them are willing to volunteer simply to improve their English, others to promote their “honorable” language. There was something heartwarming about a people that sees their language as so honorable that they want to volunteer to make it available to their fellow citizens.

I must say though that I wonder if NE Asians don’t quite rebel enough. I mean, cooperative employees are wonderful for a boss, but it is impossible to not rebel enough. In White society we have the corollary of the very straight, nerdy White guy who refused to rebel against his parents in any way, and didn’t even try to develop an independent mind or life.

This doesn’t really seem to be healthy. Adolescent rebellion is at least healthy in the sense that it signals a desire for independence and the creation of one’s own ego and value set, quite possibly a different one than your folks. This step is important in forging an independent minded adult from a child.

On the topic of ethnocentrism, which we are dealing with in the comments, it’s clear to be that all of the NE Asians are quite ethnocentric. They pretty much all feel they are better than anyone else, but I don’t mind, and I think they have a right to feel that way. At the same time, they can be very friendly, especially to Whites, since they supposedly respect us as a race.

It’s true that NE Asians don’t respect Blacks too much, and Blacks have a hard time in these countries. I don’t know what to say about that…when a Japanese man sees the stereotypical ghetto Black man who has had 7 kids by 7 different women and refuses to support any of them, he is offended on a very deep and intense cultural level.

In these societies, behavior like this is unheard of. That Black man is acting like a dog! To the NE Asian, that is, and they tend to have a pretty low opinion of dogs. Hell, that’s what a male dog does. He runs around and knocks up as many female bitches as he can, and of course he refuses to support or help raise any of the puppies. To the NE Asian mind, for a human to act like a dog is so low it’s almost indescribably bad.

The Korean language is interesting, and we touched on the Hangul alphabet the other day. Google’s Korean-English, English-Korean translator is basically useless. The text comes out hopelessly garbled, and it’s more or less useless. Probably the two languages are so hugely different that translation is a monumental task.

I suspect that Korean may have relatively free work order, but I’m not certain. In free word order languages, you can mix up the words in a sentence to some extent without changing the meaning of the sentence. English has pretty strict word order, and mixing it up just tends to produce gibberish. I don’t have the faintest idea how you create a software translator for a relatively free order language. It’s mind boggling.

It also seems to be an agglutinative language, though I’m not sure about that either. In an agglutinative language, you can stick all these morphemes onto each other and end up creating words that are as long as sentences,, just morphemes glommed onto each other into one gigantic word.

In Eskimo, I suppose you can have words something like:

Qanniqpataninajanngittungaqaiguvitniriniaqpitkaakkaangami niriqattaqtuqnaalangmangaarmititnalujungainuktitummik ilisailauqsimajunga.

All one word. I may be exaggerating somewhat, but you get the picture. Anyway, that word might mean something like,

“The guy who showed up last nite was a pretty nice guy and we ate some seal blubber together and then I let him sleep with my wife and then in the morning he got up and left with the first lights of Aurora Borealis.”

Or something like that. You could actually go back into that word and take it all apart and all of those meaning forms would be glommed onto each other in that Mother Of All Sentences.

Anyway, if Korean is aggultinative, it would make sense, because it is suspected to be an Altaic language, related to Turkic, Mongolian and Tungusic. I believe in the Altaic Hypothesis, which is still controversial. Japanese, Korean and possibly Ainu form probably three separate branches of that family.

One of the problems with proving that Korean and Japanese are related, much less that they are part of Altaic, is that there has been the Mother Of All Borrowings between these languages. In particular, probably 7

The Nostratic guys (the project is now taken up by Starotsin’s son after the elder Starotsin’s untimely death) seems to have come up with some pretty good sound correspondences between Japanese, Korean and the rest of Altaic. I’ve seen those tables and it looks pretty good. Historical linguists nowadays demand sound correspondences for proving that languages are related. This means something like, whenever you have:

English “p”, you have say “f” in German and “b” in Danish (I’m making this up).

English  German  Danish
p        f, pf   b

Korean Translation of Dive Fail Is Up At The Old Site

This is my first Korean translation and I am very excited about it!

Right now, the diving video is going insanely viral over in South Korea and the site is getting bombarded with traffic. We had 34,000 visitors to both sites yesterday. That’s way more than any previous day. The vast majority of them were coming from Korea.

Korea is another extremely wired nation, one of the most wired, if not the most wired, on Earth. They have the fastest broadband speeds for the lowest prices per Kb. Once again, this is because the failed state that needs to get the Hell out of our lives and off our backs is heavily involved in Korean broadband. Funny how all the nations that are the most and best wired have heavy state involvement in broadband.

Hopefully, we are going to be having a lot more Korean translations lately. I’ve also found that Koreans are some of my finest translators, with superb work skills, highly responsible and agreeable and do great work work very quickly with few complaints. It’s no wonder their NE Asian economies do so well.

The working title so far is:

다이빙 사고 두 얼굴을 나눠 함께

I haven’t the faintest idea what that chicken scratch means, but that’s the title.

Actually, the Korean alphabet known as Hangul , though we make fun of it, is said to be one of the most perfect alphabets ever made by man. It’s actually quite hard to make a good alphabet, and the English alphabet really sucks. Why is knight pronounced “nite?” It’s senseless and mad.

Actually, most alphabets in use by humans suffer from various deficiencies, but of all of these orthographies, Hangul is said to come to the closest to perfection. Part of its mastery is said to be its elegance and ingeniousness, yet being paradoxically simple and utilitarian.

Serbo-Croatian Translation of the Dive Fail Post Is Up

My first Serbo-Croatian translation has been done, and it was a trip to work with this language. This language is very different, and it’s not much like English at all.

The translation is of the famous Dive Fail post and it’s titled Ronilačkih Nezgoda Sa Licem Podijeljen U Dva. It’s not really finished, but it will suffice for now. I am looking for someone to finish it for me if they wish. The translation is in the Latin Serbo-Croatian alphabet, not the Cyrillic one. I’m not up on the dynamics of these two alphabets in the region in terms of which one is preferred or used more. I assume most speakers of the language can read both alphabets.

Finnish Translation of Face Split Diving Accident Video Is Up

The Finnish translation of the Face Split Diving Accident Video post is up on the Blogger site. It’s titled Sukellusonnettomuus. The word “Sukellusonnettomuus” means “Diving accident”. Diving = sukellus. Accident = onnettomuus.

I am really excited about this. It’s my first Finnish translation ever. I actually get a very large number of visits from Finland, which is amazing for such a small country, but Finland is one of the most wired places on Earth. It’s also wealthy and has some of the fastest broadband speeds. That’s all due to their horrible failed socialism, of course.

One of the fun things about these sites is that I get to work for foreign languages a lot as a result of the translations. I don’t just cut and paste translations up there. Unfortunately, they often need a fair amount of work. I can usually work the languages pretty well, but Finnish was really a mess. I could barely make heads or tails out of that language. That’s one Heck of a crazy language.

On another matter, in posts about how to drive traffic to your website, you seldom hear about the use of translations. I translate high-traffic posts when I can get translators, and in some cases, it has worked out very well. It’s hard to find people to do it for free, but there are people out there who like to do stuff like this for fun. I actually get quite a bit of traffic out of translations, especially Spanish, French and to a lesser extent Portuguese.

Portuguese Translation of Face Split Diving Accident Video Is Up

The Portuguese translation of the Face Split Diving Accident Video post, Video Acidente de Mergulho Rostro Dividida ao Meio, has been done. If you are looking for it, I dunno, maybe check here?

Most Fucked Up Videos on the Internet

Other than the ones we used to host here (And who know, maybe you can still find them here?) there are lots of really messed up videos on the Net these days. Apparently they are all legal. Not talking about the child porn stuff. Of course that’s messed up, and sure it’s illegal. Sorry, but I can’t give you any links to that stuff. Go ask Pedobear and Google and maybe you will get lucky. There’s been a big debate lately over crush videos, including an extensive Supreme Court debate. These are some really messed up videos of small animals getting killed by women wearing high heels. The women talk like dominatrixes while they crush the animals with their high heels. I’m not sure what animals are killed, but the most notorious ones feature kittens and I guess puppies. I saw part of one featuring an apparent Japanese women crushing to death a kitten with her high heels. I saw the start of it and then turned it off. I don’t want to see a kitten getting crushed. The Japanese woman that was marketing those was reportedly hunted down and beaten to death by an animal rights group, but that may just be an urban legend. Anyway, I hope she did get crushed to death by some humans. Plus, I hope the videotaped it so we can put it up on the Net and watch this sick bitch getting stomped to death. So, crush videos are messed up. They are made for males, males who are sexually twisted. There are a bunch of these idiots out there, guys who get off on crush videos. Curiously, most of them identify with the animals getting crushed, and they have a fantasy about getting crushed by a dominatrix. I kinda feel sorry for these guys, because I have counseled some males who were stuck sexually in weird fetishes, and they could not seem to get outside of them. Anyway, I think videos of bitches crushing kittens and puppies to death with high heels should be banned. That’s just messed up. If she’s already in prison, I guess we can release the video as evidence of a crime (and therefore documenting reality), but otherwise, the idea that people are killing animals for profit and kicks makes me ill. Ban it the same way we ban child porn. Snuff videos are illegal, even though they don’t even exist. What about videos of real folks getting killed. No one seems to know, but it seems that they are legal. It’s often a crime, and the victim is dead anyway. If it’s a crime, it ought to be legal under Documenting Reality Theory (that’s a legal theory I just made up). It’s evidence of a crime, and LE needs to get the perpetrators. If they’ve already been dealt with, then it’s just history, and ought to be legal. There is a question of whether death videos cause copycat killings. I don’t have the faintest idea and a part of me doesn’t care. I’m sure sociopaths can’t get enough horror films. Concerning videos not featured on this site, we have Hatchet Versus Genitals, which I have not seen. I guess it is some idiot chopping his dick off. There is a video out called BME Pain Olympics featuring a bunch of idiots mutilating their dicks, chopping them off and whatnot. It’s supposedly fake, but there are apparently real idiots who actually do such things. It’s almost always a guy. I have no idea why a guy would want to commit violence on his dick, much less cut it off. Perhaps commenters can enlighten me. 1 Man 1 Screwdriver is one of the latest shock vids. I never uploaded it since WordPress does not allow porn videos. This moron from Russia sticks a screwdriver in his urethra, and slowly slides it out again. His dick starts bleeding afterward, and there is blood on the screwdriver. I have not seen the video. Guys sticking things in their urethras is pretty common. Arthur Kinsey used to like to do this. I think it sounds like a pretty hazy thing to do. I’m 51, and my dick is sort of marginal these days anyway, so I see no reason why I should mess around and make it permanently F-4. Kids in a Sandbox features a guy and a woman naked in bed. She shoves a dildo in the guy’s urethra. It somehow goes into his urethra. She pulls it out, and his dick looks like it is split in half. I don’t understand how morons do this to their dicks without suffering permanent damage. The guy and the woman are laughing and carrying on the whole time the guy’s dick is getting mangled. 1 Guy 1 Jar is another recent sensation, done by the same Russian moron who shoved the screwdriver up his dick. This idiot, about 40 years old, married, with kids, working at a good job, likes to shove huge things up his ass, even though he is straight. It’s true that guys that stick stuff up their asses are not necessarily queer. Usually they are, but not always. Anyway, this idiot likes to stick jars up his ass for some dumb reason. In 1 Guy 1 Jar he sticks a jar up his ass. After a while you hearing a cracking sound. He stand up and starts pulling shards of glass out his ass, and blood starts coming out of his ass onto the floor. Soon we have a nice little pool of blood on the floor filled with glass shards. I have not seen the video, but I saw a few stills of it. The guys claims he got almost all the glass out, and he is still sticking jars up his ass. His wife does not know about his habit. One of the most recent ones is 1 Guy 1 Dolphin. I have not seen it yet. This idiot queer or whatever he is sucks a male dolphin’s cock. How he gets the dolphin to do this, I have no idea. Well this continues until the dolphin cums in his mouth. People are saying that this video is “the end of the Internet.” The spate of shock videos seems to be egging psychos and morons on to make more and more extreme psycho and idiot videos and upload them onto the Net. There is supposedly a necrophilia video that just came out of some guy having sex with a woman’s corpse and making jokes while he is doing it. I have not seen it and don’t know any details on it. There are videos out of idiots flashing their cocks at women and girls as they drive by in cars. I have seen a bit of those videos. That’s pretty disturbing behavior all right. We are dealing with a crime here and I don’t know if this crap should be legal or what. Mr. Hands is famous. Some queer and his twisted queer buddies were into getting fucked by horses. The guy lived in Enumclaw, Washington. In the video, the idiot gets fucked in the ass by a horse. They pull the horse’s cock out at the last minute and the horse ejaculates. Although the idiot apparently did not die in the making of this video, he did apparently die in a later horse-fucking video. The horse’s cock ruptured the idiot’s anus and he died of peritonitis or something in the hospital. I’m actually glad that this moron died. There are also lots of scat videos, which feature idiots shitting on each other, idiots shitting into other idiots mouths who then eat the shit, idiots smearing shit all over themselves, etc etc. The shitty possibilities are endless. Often the people start vomiting in the course of the video, and of course, in that case, the only logical thing to do is to puke in the other person’s mouth, right? The most famous of those is 2 Girls 1 Cup, which I have seen. It’s supposedly fake, done with chocolate ice cream, though I don’t see how. 2 Girls 1 Finger is actually way worse, along the same lines. 1 Priest 1 Nun is similar. I don’t generally watch anymore of those scat videos because if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. If you think this website is valuable to you, please consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site.

Visage Fendu dans Accident de Plongeon

The video has been removed following discussions with WordPress staff. Try here instead. I am looking for translators to translate this post into Hebrew, Greek, Macedonian, Romanian, Serbo-Croatian, Slovenian, Hungarian, Slovak, Polish, Lithuanian, Estonian, Russian, Swedish, Norwegian, German and Chinese. Email me if you are interested. Bad reactions to the video including nausea, vomiting, dry heaves, paleness, shivering, shaking, spinal chills, headache, rapid heartbeat, nightmares, inability to stop thinking of the video and pain in the face, have been reported. Adverse reactions have lasted up to three days. Please exercise caution in viewing the video. This post has been translated into Portuguese as Video Acidente de Mergulho Rostro Dividida Ao Meio (em Português), into Spanish as Video Accidente de Clavadista con Cara Partida (en Español), into Finnish as Sukellusonnettomuus (on Suomen), into Serbo-Croatian as Ronilačkih Nezgoda Sa Licem Podijeljen U Dva (u Srpsko-hrvatski) and into Italian as Incidente Di Tuffo Che Divide Il Viso In Due (traduzione in Italiano). This is a French translation of the Face Split Diving Accident Video post by my finest translator of all, Natalie from France. C’est une des vidéos les plus regardées. Elle est apparue sur le Net aux alentours de la troisième semaine de juillet, elle a commencé à faire un tabac ces dernières semaines. En général elle n’a pas de nom. Elle est mentionnée en quelque sorte par la description de l’évènement Horrible Diving Accident, Bridge Fail, Worst Diving Accident, Horrific Diving Accident, Awesome Diving Accident, Disgusting Diving Accident, Jump Accident, Cellphone Horrific Diving Accident and Diving Accident, je l’ai nommée Dive Fail faute de mieux. Il n’y a pas de violence, pas d’agression. C’est seulement la vidéo d’un terrible accident. Un adolescent plonge depuis la promenade du front de mer à Beyrouth, et glisse juste avant de plonger. La glissade lui fait louper la mer et heurter le bloc de béton en dessous, là où les pêcheurs pêchent. Il touche le béton face la première, puis tombe dans l’océan. En très peu de temps la mer se teint en rouge sang tout autour. Il y a des personnes et des bateaux en train d’essayer de lui porter secours et des jeunes filles qui hurlent. La scène se déplace ensuite dans l’hôpital où le malheureux est ausculté par une équipe de docteurs et infirmières. Son visage a été coupé en deux parties, verticalement, par le milieu ! Il est encore vivant et conscient, il respire et ses yeux bougent. Il a l’air terrifié. Par deux fois, le docteur prend les côtés de sa figure et les rapproche de façon à recomposer son visage. Il y a beaucoup de rumeurs disant que cette vidéo est fausse, mais apparemment elle est vraie. Cet accident est arrivé à Beyrouth durant la deuxième semaine de juin 2009. L’adolescent et son ami étaient en train de montrer leur habileté en plongeant de la Manara Promenade, qui se trouve sur le boulevard qui traverse l’Université Américaine de Beyrouth, sur le port de Beyrouth. C’est arrivé en contrebas de la corniche Manara, plus de douze mètres plus bas. Le jeune et son ami ont effectué plusieurs plongeons, tout allait bien, jusqu’à ce qu’il glisse et que le terrible accident se produise. Cette partie a été enregistrée par un Nokia qui filme de façon assez sombre l’après-midi. Cette séquence a été filmée par une fille présente, que l’on peut entendre hurler “Oh mon Dieu, mon Dieu, que quelqu’un appelle les secours !” en Arabe. La deuxième partie de ce clip montre le même enfant à l’hôpital, mais a été filmée avec un téléphone différent, donc elle semble différente. L’équipe médicale parle le Libanais (Arabe). Cette partie de la vidéo a été tournée dans la forte lumière des urgences de l’Hôpital Universitaire Américain, proche du lieu de l’accident. C’est la raison pour la quelle cette partie de la vidéo est beaucoup plus lumineuse. Certaines personnes disent que ce n’est pas possible qu’une telle vidéo ait pu être tournée dans les urgences d’un hôpital. Quoi qu’il en soit il est très fréquent dans les pays en voie de développement, que les familles et les amis soient présents aux urgences à proximité des patients, pendant que l’équipe médicale s’affaire autours d’eux. Tout ce que les chirurgiens pouvaient faire était recoudre sa blessure, profonde et sévère. Bien que certains médecins sur le Net aient dit qu’un bon ORL aurait pu réparer cet enfant de façon convenable, ce pauvre gamin n’a pas pu être sauvé. Tout ce qu’ils ont pu faire a été de le maintenir en vie dans une unité de réanimation, durant deux jours, avant qu’il ne meure. La ville de Beyrouth a essayé de stopper cette pratique en posant des barrières et du fil barbelé aux endroits où la population aime plonger, mais des adolescents et des jeunes hommes âgés d’une vingtaine d’années continuent de plonger depuis la promenade, en prenant beaucoup de risques. Avant cet accident, il y en a eu de nombreux autres, horribles, dans la même zone, tous impliquant des garçon et de jeunes hommes. Il y a quelque chose de vraiment effrayant dans ces images, que je n’arrive pas à définir. Depuis l’avertissement non professionnel trilingue au début (Arabe, Français et Anglais, suggérant que nous sommes au Liban), aux cris horribles après l’impact, au rouge sang diffus sur une importante surface de l’océan, autour des 20-30 personnes réunies dans l’eau pour lui porter secours, jusqu’à la scène terrifiante à l’hôpital où l’enfant a le visage coupé en deux. La respiration effrayante et laborieuse de la victime associée avec le regard d’horreur dans ses yeux sont deux choses qui ne vous quittent plus. Tout au long de ces images, il y a une musique instrumentale bizarre, moche, difficile à décrire, en fond musical, qui fait croître la sensation de terreur. Pareillement pour la façon brute, saccadée de filmer en amateur avec un téléphone portable. J’ai été traumatisé durant plusieurs jours après avoir vu cette vidéo, et pourtant j’ai déjà vu pas mal de choses terribles.

Face Split Diving Accident Video

The video has been removed following discussions with WordPress staff. Try here instead.

I am looking for translators to translate this post into Arabic, Hebrew, Maltese, Romanian, Macedonian, Bulgarian, Slovenian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Lithuanian, Russian, Swedish, Malay, Indonesian, Tagalog, Vietnamese, Japanese, Chinese and Wolof. Email me if you are interested.

This post has been translated into:

French: Visage Fendu dans Accident de Plongeon (en Français).

Portuguese: Video Acidente de Mergulho Rostro Dividida Ao Meio (em Português).

Spanish: Video Accidente de Clavadista con Cara Partida (en Español).

Finnish: Sukellusonnettomuus (on Suomen).

Serbo-Croatian: Ronilačkih Nezgoda Sa Licem Podijeljen U Dva (u Srpsko-hrvatski).

Italian: Incidente Di Tuffo Che Divide Il Viso In Due (traduzione in Italiano).

Greek: as: Näo Lõhkenud Õnnetusjuhtumi Sukeldumise Video.

Bad reactions to the video including nausea, vomiting, dry heaves, paleness, shivering, shaking, spinal chills, headache, rapid heartbeat, nightmares, inability to stop thinking of the video and pain in the face, have been reported. Adverse reactions have lasted up to three days. Please exercise caution in viewing the video.

This is one of the latest viral videos going around. It actually appeared on the Net around the third week of July 2009, but it only started going viral in a huge way around the second week of September 2009. It first appeared on Arabic and Turkish sites, and finally found its way around the Net. In general, it never has a name.

It’s just referred to by some description of the event like, Horrible Diving Accident, Bridge Fail, Worst Diving Accident, Horrific Diving AccidentAwesome Diving Accident, Disgusting Diving Accident, Jump Accident, Cellphone Horrific Diving Accident , and Diving Accident. I named it Dive Fail since I could not think of anything better. Later I changed the name to Face Split Diving Accident.

There’s really no “violence” in this video. It’s just a video of a horrible accident.

A teenager, a 16 year old boy, dives off the seaside promenade in Beirut, Lebanon and slips before the dive. The slip causes him to miss the ocean and instead hit the concrete slab below where fishermen fish. He hits the concrete face first, then goes into the ocean. In a short while, the ocean for yards around has turned red with blood. There are people in the water and boats trying to help the guy, and girls are screaming all over the place.

The scene then shifts to a hospital where the poor guy is being overseen by a team of doctors and nurses. His face has been split clear in two down the middle vertically!

He is still alive, conscious, and, and his tongue is still moving around. He appears terrified. A couple of times, the doctor takes the sides of his face and pushes them together to make a whole face again. The doctor says, “Where do I begin?” a few times in Arabic. We know this is an operating room in Lebanon because the doctors and nurses are speaking Lebanese Arabic.

People are wondering how he could survive such an injury. The front part of his brain may have been injured, but others are saying that it appears to be intact. At any rate, basic things like breathing are done by the brain stem. The brain stem appears to be intact. People are also wondering about pain. The brain has no pain receptors. On the other hand, the damage to his face must be very painful.

There are a lot of rumors saying that this video is fake, but apparently it is a real video. We know this because people in Lebanon are reporting it. Some had friends who were at the Promenade that day, others said it was reported in the Lebanese press, and others say that they were aware of stories on the street about the video. There is an article in Arabic from the Lebanese press online proving that this event occurred, but it’s in the archives, and looking through the archives costs money.

This event occurred in Beirut in the second week of June 2009. The teenager and his brother were showing off their diving skills by diving off the Manara Promenade ( supposedly proves that this video is fake. In the other video, the hospital footage is said to be of a failed 9mm suicide. However, no way can a 9mm do that kind of damage to your face. Furthermore, in a longer video version of the ER scene, the two doctors are discussing in Lebanese Arabic how he landed “on a rock” when he jumped into the water. This dialogue would not exist in a gun suicide video.

In addition, some are saying that the victim in the failed gun suicide video had a similar injury that differed from this one in certain ways; in particular, this one has a dichotomy of the jaw at the chin, and the other did not.

There are claims that instead of a 9mm failed suicide, this is a shotgun failed suicide. However, there are many photos of shotgun suicides on the Web, for instance, at Rotten.com. In general, shotgun failed suicides do not neatly clove one’s face in two in the way that this injury did. If it’s really a failed gun suicide, why are they speaking Lebanese Arabic just like they are speaking during the dive accident?

Sources in Lebanon who were there at the promenade and witnessed the dive accident claim that the word on the street in Lebanon is that the second half was shot in the hospital and is footage of aftermath of the diving accident. In addition, the young man in the hospital at the end is wearing swim trunks, just as the diver wore. What are the chances that a video of a failed shotgun suicide by a young man wearing a bathing suit occurred and was filmed in Lebanon around the same time of this accident?

Many people have questioned the nature of the wound. It does not seem to be possible to hit a concrete slab and split your face vertically like he did. However, if you look at the dive footage, there is steel casing around the concrete slab that he hits. The concrete slab has worn away and a lot of the steel casing is exposed. The steel casing runs parallel to the shoreline. Even then, hitting the steel casing would seem to be a horizontal hit.

However, look at the way that the boy is flailing wildly in the air. In his dive, he is twisting and turning like the wind. With such a flailing dive and while probably curving to try to avoid the concrete, it’s possible for him to him to turn the 90 degrees he needs to turn to hit the sharp edge of the steel casing vertically instead of horizontally, which would result in the injury we see later.

There is another theory suggesting that the hospital footage is not even real – it’s faked using special effects. I find this dubious. Looking at the cheap quality of the video especially and the fact that faking something like this is the terrain of motion picture studios with huge budgets, I think it is clear that the guy in the hospital suit is not “some rubber thing.” One problem is that the hospital guy is quite pale, while the jumper is a typical brown-skinned Arab. This is possible if the diver lost a lot of blood.

Another suggestion, perhaps not as odd as it sounds, is that he is already dead on the ER table. The body can make a few involuntary movements after death, there are such things as death rattles, and the breathing is said to have been artificially forced by the tube. But why tube a dead man? And if you look closely, you can see that his tongue is moving, and his chest is going up and down. He appears to be gasping for breath. A funeral director on the Web felt that he was still very much alive. She also said gun suicide injuries never cleave the head so perfectly. Only accidents can do that.

At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter if the video is “fake” or not, because it isn’t. When we watch a scary Hollywood movie, do we all scream, “Fake!”? Of course not. What matters is if a movie is scary. And this video is downright terrifying.  It’s scary like Saw or Hostel is scary. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

There is something really creepy about this video that I can’t quite put a finger on.

From the very amateurish trilingual warning at the beginning (Arabic, French and English, suggesting once again it was made in Lebanon) to the horrible screams after he hits, to the blood-red ocean spreading in a large area around the 20-30 people gathered in the water to help him, to the absolutely terrifying scene in the hospital where the poor kid, incredibly, has a face split clear in two. The labored, terrified breathing of the victim combined with what appears to be a the look of horror on what’s left of his face is something that really stays with you.

Throughout the video, there is some weird, cheesy, hard to describe instrumental music going in the background that for some strange reason that really adds to the fear. This music is actually the soundtrack to a medical show on US TV that may or may not be on anymore. It’s either the soundtrack to ER or Chicago Hope. The amateurish cellphone footage that jumps around jerkily also in some way makes the video even scarier. I think maybe the frightening thing about all this amateurishness of the video is that it makes it seem so real (i.e. – it’s not just a Hollywood movie!)

I was traumatized for several days after watching this thing, and I’ve watched a lot of nasty stuff.

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Man Gets Eaten By Lion in Africa

I am looking for translators to translate this post into Spanish and German. Email me if you are interested.

Many, many people insist that this video must be fake, and actually, it is.

The story is that this is a very famous video that was taken in the mid-1970’s in Africa on a safari. The tourist was apparently from London.

It was entered as evidence in a court case. The insurance company used this tape evidence in court to deny the life insurance claim for the guy. They argued that the man engaged in “gross stupidity” and therefore they were not on the line for payout.

In truth, this video is fake. It is said to have occurred in Wallasee National Park in Angola in the mid-70’s. There is no such place in Angola or anywhere in Africa.

The “attack victim” is named Pit Dernitz, and he has his own IMDB entry for this video. He is a very famous lion trainer.

This clip was taken from an Italian Mondo film called Ultime Grida Dalla Savana, which contains many similar clips.

This film was never entered into any court case.

Quattro Animali, Un Macinatore

[wpvideo Gv94o4L4] I am looking for translators to translate this post into Spanish, Polish and Finnish. Email me if you are interested. This post has been translated into French as Quatre Animaux, Un Broyeur (en Français). This is an Italian translation of Four Animals One Grinder by “Natalie From France.” Il primo animale è una mucca, il secondo un maiale, il terzo una mucca, e l’ultimo un cavallo. Il video non è proprio raccapricciante o catastrofico come la maggior parte degli altri filmati presenti nel blog. E’ abbastanza difficile da guardare. Si vede quello che succede in un centro di raccolta e macinazione di carcasse animali. Il bestiame morto è spinto da un montacarichi verso il macinatore, poi viene tritato da questo apparecchio incredibile: ossa, teste, zoccoli e tutto il resto. Ci sono un sacco di articoli in internet che sostengono che le mucche sono vive. Non è vero. sembrano vive soltanto quando il macinatore si mette in moto; in realtà si muovono a causa dell’enorme potenza dell’apparecchio. Un’altra idea errata è che gli animali tritati siano destinati all’alimentazione umana, per produrre hot dogs per esempio. Non è vero. Si tratta di animali morti in azienda agricola, e quindi impropri al consumo. Certe persone sostengono che i prodotti derivati dalla macinazione delle carcasse potrebbero essere destinati all’alimentazione animale (pollame) oppure per l’alimentazione degli animali domestici. Non è un pensiero gradevole, in effetti questo tipo di “riciclaggio” è la causa dell’apparizione del morbo della mucca pazza. L’idea che tutto questo finisca nella ciottola dei nostri animali di compagnia mi spezza il cuore. Davvero. Non mangero’ mai più crocchette per cani. Penso che di solito gli animali finiscano come fertilizzante, il che rappresenta un metodo inoffensivo di utilizzarli. Si produce pure del grasso animale per motori. Si riesce anche a fare del sapone di questa purè di cavallo (Mr Ed nel testo, ndt). La gente non si rende conto che il bestiame muore ogni giorno, particolarmente nelle moderne aziende agricole. Non ci si pensa mai, ma come fare per smaltire cavalli, mucche e maiali morti ? Non si puo’ mica depositarli nel cassonetto. E’ difficile scavare un buco per seppellirli. Non esistono cimiteri per mucche e cavalli, e gli inceneritori non li accettano. Ed è qui che entra in ballo il centro di smaltimento carcasse animali. Immagino che si vende l’animale morto al centro di smaltimento, gli addetti vengono a prenderlo. Lo portano al centro e lo macinano per produrre fertilizzante o qualcosa di simile. In questi centri l’odore è insopportabile, come lo attestano le persone che abitano in prossimità. Il tizio che si occupa del montacarichi ha sicuramente il peggior lavoro del paese. Pensate al tizio che pulisce il macinatore. Guardate il disordine. Alla fine il montacarichi butta un cavallo nell’apparecchio, è incredibile…il rumore del macinatore gigantesco quando trita le ossa e i crani. Wow ! C’è una sequenza particolamente sgradevole, alla seconda mucca (2’11) si vede un getto enorme dalla carcassa mentre viene tritata. Significa che l’animale è andato in decomposizione durante abbastanza tempo, ed è gonfiato. E’ un’altra delle ragioni per le quali la carne è impropria al consumo. Questo video era disponibile in rete da qualche anno, ma da metà agosto risquote un gran successo. Esiste un’incredibile quantità di roba da guardare in internet. Prima di Al Gore, chi di voi aveva già visto funzionare un centro di smaltimento carcasse ? La società che produce questo macinatore si trova in Danimarca. Pensate un po’ alla tecnologia adoperata in questo apparecchio. Si chiama PB 30/40 Crusher. Alcuni pensieri: Sarebbe un aggeggio fantastico per l’applicazione della pena di morte ! Basta con l’iniezione letale ! Omicidio premeditato ? Condannato al macinatore ! Si potrebbero vendere i biglietti per una bella cifra, la gente verrebbe a vedere il condannato frullato vivo. Il ricavato andrebbe nelle casse dello Stato, così lo Stato potrebbe adoperare questi soldi per aiutare i cittadini. Un macinatore lo voglio anch’io !!!! Dove posso comprarlo ? Mi piacerebbe adoperarlo contro qualche nemico. Lo legherei, lo butterei sulla rampa di carico e me ne sbarazzerei nel Macinatore. Poi incasserei 1000 dollari a spettatore e me ne andrei con il ricavato. Si dovrebbe adoperare questa macchina per tritare gli esseri umani. Cosi’ potremmo salvare tanto spazio cimiteriale, ed adoperare le aree dei futuri cimiteri per costruire supermercati e altre cose altrettanto indispensabili. Attualmente penso che quando moriro’, desidero essere frullato cosi’. Si potrebbe organizzare un funerale, con invitati che guardano mentre mi faccio tritare, mangiando pop corn e cose simili. Una volta tritato desidero diventare scatolame col nome “Robert Lindsay Kitekat” ed essere dato in pasto al mio gattino, supponendo che ne abbia uno. Se non ho un gatto voglio comunque essere trasformato in cibo per gatti, perchè li amo. Così i gatti festeggieranno mangiando qualcuno che li ha amati con tutto il cuore. I gatti mi hanno dato cosi tanto amore in vita mia e questa sarebbe la mia maniera tutta speciale di tornarglielo. C’é un rock brutale, mortale e metallico come sottofonodo, vero ? Sarebbe divertente vedere un elefante morto o una giraffa, buttati nel macinatore, tanto per farci quattro risate… Nel mio paese dei sogni ci sarebbe la tele con 600 canali via cavo. Un canale chiamato “tele-macinatoio” mostrerebbe l’apparecchio in funzione tutto il giorno. Per rendere i programmi più interessanti, si potrebbe macinare ogni sorta di animali. Guarderei la tele tutto il giorno, mentre lavoro, anche come sottofondo. Cambierei canale all’ora dei pasti. Ci sono molte possibilità d’impiego per questo apparecchio. Si potrebbe prendere un bambino Bianco obeso, cresciuto da una madre single a forza di Twinkies e videogiochi, per metterlo sotto il macinatore. La carne trita cadrebbe intorno a lui, sul suo viso, ricoprendolo interamente. Gli operai spalerebbero la carne in modo da evitare di seppellirlo. Potrebbe tenere la bocca aperta, la carne cadrebbe dentro, facendolo diventare sempre più grasso. Dopo dieci anni di questa “dieta” sarebbe cosi’ grasso che potrebbe diventare il Re della Germania. Si potrebbe tritare il bestiame e darlo a Disney. Disney potrebbe ricostituire gli animali in esseri umani, in particolare le star preferite dai teen agers Selena, Miley e Britney. Ci vorrà poco tempo ai fan isterici per rendersi conto che il loro idolo era un cavallo macinato. Si potrebbe adoperare il macinatore per tentare di risolvere i conflitti impossibili da risolvere. Macinando mucche e maiali, riprendendo le immagini e distribuendone i film nelle zone di guerra potremmo far progredire il conflitto indo musulmano in Cachemire. Le possibilità sono infinite !

One Boy One Needle

[wpvideo t4THa9Vd] This video actually came out a few years ago, but it is still going viral in a pretty big way, or maybe it is just starting to go viral, I am not sure. It goes by all sorts of names. Most of them, other than Heroin Boy, are not memorable . The story behind the video is very strange, and no one knows if the video is fake or real. The story behind the video is that a Russian guy wanting to showcase the dangers of drugs arranged the shooting of the video, which involves some young boys shooting heroin in Russia. The boy who gets shot up is 8 years old. The guy shooting the video was actually a drug dealer. The video supposedly depicts the 8 year old boy shooting heroin and then dying from the heroin. After he shot the video, the dealer pitched it around to Western agencies to fund his drug rehabilitation clinic. He stole all the money and never set up any clinic. He was arrested by police later. The cops decided that he was guilty in part for the supposed death of this boy. He was imprisoned, and he died in a Russian prison. Cause of death described by officials: “He repeatedly banged his head up against the wall until he died.” Yeah right. Looks like he was beaten to death by guards, other inmates, or both. How do we know all of this? Because another version of this video has Russian dialogue running in the background (I got the less annoying “no dialogue” version). A translation of that dialogue reveals the story I just repeated above. Anyway, no one knows if the story is true. We don’t know the name of the 8 year old boy who supposedly died. Some are saying that he didn’t even die, that his supposed death in the video is “just the normal, expected effects you would get from mainlining heroin.” We don’t have a name of the supposed dealer, nor any proof he got arrested or that he died in prison. In short, nothing behind the background story about this video has yet been verified. Some say that this video is probably from the 1990’s, when Russia was seriously flooded with heroin, and even little kids were taking it. Since then, things have calmed down a lot. Anyway, fake or not, this video is really freaking out a lot of people who think they are watching an 8 year old boy die from shooting heroin (And maybe they are, who knows?). It’s in competition as one of the worst videos on the Net. This video doesn’t really bother me because it’s not violent. I just tell myself that the kid is going to sleep and not dying, and then everything’s OK. Of course it’s troubling to watch little boys shooting up. Unfortunately, the only copy I could find has this stupid semi-literate written dialogue crap at the beginning, written by the moron who runs the King of Cordia’s Den website. He’s the one who made this video, and my video-editing skills are not sufficient to get rid of his ads and lame illiterate copy in the video.

WTF Is the Matter With You? Part 2

Repost from the old site. That question is directed to Thistle Harlequin. I won’t upload the movie, and I think it’s copyrighted anyway. It’s pornographic, and we don’t host porn on the site. Rarely, we link to it, if there is some artistic or political reason. In this case, it’s more art or performance art than porn per se. It’s called Putrid Sex Object, a movie performed by Thistle Harlequin (adults only, and don’t watch unless you want to be horribly grossed out). This is part of what my artist brother calls the new art – “that gross, sick, fag shit.” He says this is the new thing in art, because everything else has been done already. Examples include Aliza Shvarts’ abortion jelly exhibit where she gave herself repeated miscarriages via morning-after pills after inseminating herself and then filmed the miscarriages, bottled them and exhibited them in an exhibit. Except the whole exhibit never came off, but that was part of the performance. Our very own Who Dares Wings is an artist in Seattle who makes Disasterware and something called Spone Funerary Ware – granulated calcified human cremains (cremated bones of dead people) over a porcelain slip in a riff on the time-honored tradition of bone china, which was made in part with ground human bone. He also makes things like porcelain vases and teapots with Hitler’s face on them with things like “Forgiveness” inscribed below. There was a guy in New York who was doing some of this art using dead embalmed bodies. He would take the bodies and then pose them in all these weird positions and then take pictures of himself intermingled with the dead bodies. The cops finally had enough of the publicity and raided the guy – I guess what he was doing was illegal. He was getting the bodies from Mexico. Along the same lines are Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ, a crucifix photographed in a jar of urine. There is another fellow, Hermann Nitsch, who takes cow carcasses, slits them open, then makes himself look like a crucifix with the cow carcass as a “cross” background. He ends up covered in blood. His friends stand around him and they all get covered with blood too. There’s blood all over the ground and they shoot a photo of the whole thing and voila, instant art! Women are bottling their own menstrual fluid and using the blood to make blood paintings. It’s called menstrual art. Along the same lines, in Putrid Sex Object, Thistle Harlequin, a gay man, plays a woman who is wandering through a haunted house at night getting more and more frightened. Finally, she comes into a room where they are some severed cow’s heads on the floor. She falls to her knees, starts licking the cow’s head and then starts playing with it, getting blood all over her body. Then he pulls out a penis and it turns out it’s just some fag drag queen. He then puts his penis in the cow’s head and fucks it for a while, pulls out, and jacks off while covered with cow entrails. That’s it. That’s called art I guess. Wow, we really are reaching the end of civilization, are we not? My opinion on all this sick art is much the same as my brother’s. I’m not impressed. This is just gross, sick, fucked up stuff. Art is supposed to make you react, and in a way, it is supposed to be “beautiful.” It’s not supposed to be ugly, sick, repulsive and nauseating. Yes, we are all familiar with shit, puke, wet farts, mucus, snot, piss, blood, dead stuff and dead people, menstrual fluid, on and on. Why frame it up and call it art? Color me confused. Plus it’s not even funny; it’s just gross. Truth is, modern art has just clean run out of ideas. There’s nothing left to do. This is all that’s left, pushing the final boundaries. After this? I have no idea. Kill people? Kill yourself? Who knows. Seriously, there’s nothing left. Buy a famous sculpture, call the cameras in, gather around you and your artist friends, and smash it to bits? Done. The Surrealists were doing this stuff back in the 1930’s. Duchamp made a sculpture of a toilet and then he shipped it to a museum. He called it “Toilet” or something dumb like that. Along the way, it got partially destroyed via shipping. The museum called him up all apologetic and said, “Oh, we are so sorry that your sculpture got so messed up.” He rushed over to the museum, looked at his ruined sculpture and said, “NO! This is perfect! Better than the original!” It went on to become a famous sculpture. Surrealism was always a bit of a joke. The destroyed sculpture is better than the real one – OK, that’s funny. The Surrealists would run out in the streets of Paris in the 1930’s and assault priests walking by in their habits. Assault them, with fists and kicks. No one got seriously hurt, but the Surrealists called that Performance Art – assaulting a priest in habit. OK, that’s funny too. There are artist – musician types out there now who hold “concerts” where they show up on stage and then lower these sound speakers from the ceiling. The speakers dangle about ten feet above people’s heads, just out of reach. Then they turn up the speakers really loud with this extremely annoying noise playing right out of reach of the audience. The audience gets more and more angry while the performer stands up on stage, laughs at them and insults them. OK, I have to admit, that’s pretty funny. I believe there are similar artists out there who will schedule a show and advertise all the cool stuff they are going to do during the show. They cover the stage with all these props and it looks like a good show is going to happen. The theater fills up with suckers who shelled out $20/ticket. The performer’s not there. After a bit, someone comes out and says that the performer was delayed but will be there shortly. This goes on for a bit, and the big gag is that the performer never shows up. On purpose. The audience slows drifts away angrily over about an hour demanding a refund, but there will be none. That was the show. No artist. You got burned. Performance art! I have to admit that’s pretty humorous. Man Ray would have looked at that and said, “Two thumbs up.” I saw the Germs at the Hong Kong Cafe on December 31, 1979. It was Darby Crash on vocals, Pat Smear on guitar, Lorna Doom on bass and Don Bolles on drums. Joanna Went, performance artist, opened for them. She came out looking totally nuts, all made up like a clown, wearing some stupid outfit. Shrieking, “Catatooooonic! Schizophreeeeeeenic!” (that’s all I remember), etc. etc.” with these really wild eyes. She had on what looked like a football jersey on top with what looked like shoulder pads. She tore open the shoulder pads while screeching incoherently. Inside, the shoulder pads were packed with vast quantities of shredded cheddar cheese. Then she started to throw it at us, the audience. We threw it back at the bitch. I went to the bathroom. Darby Crash came in, saw me, and asked in this totally gay faggot voice, “Heeeey, you got any Tuuuinols?” Tuinols are a depressant pill. I thought for a second, looked up and said, “No, but I have some Tuinol cigarettes. Want to buy any?” He got this sneering smile on his face, and snorted, “Tuinol cigarettes!?” and walked away. That was my only encounter with the famous Darby Crash. Pretty soon, the Hong Kong Cafe was full of flying shredded cheese and you could hardly even see anything. Through it all, Joanna was screeching away. OK, that was pretty funny. The Germs played next. They all wore black leather jackets with a blue circle on the sleeve – that was their emblem. They were out of this world, of course. Darby Crash was crouching at the back of the stage with a sneer on his face. Everybody was throwing stuff at him – that was the idea – throw stuff at Darby. We took the ice out of our drinks and threw ice at Darby Crash. He crouched down at the rear of the stage like a tiger, loving the abuse and singing like a maniac. Re-formed band, The Germs Return. Don Bolles turned into an alcoholic and goes to AA meetings with his alcoholic girlfriend. He has a long history of drug abuse and run-in’s with the law. Darby killed himself (see below). Pat Smear went on to form the Foo Fighters. Lorna, Don and Pat re-formed the band, with actor Shane West as the new Darby Crash, and they go on tour. Here’s the new band, and Lorna is as beautiful as ever. Myspace page. They must be pushing 50 now. Punks til death. Heck, why not? Later, Darby Crash deliberately OD’d on heroin as part of a suicide pact with some idiot punk chick. I never hung around with these nuts, but some people I know did. They would do stuff like get drunk and hit people over the head with beer bottles – supposedly Pat Smear did that once. Great article on the Germs from the Orange County Weekly. We were leaving the Hong Kong Cafe at 2 AM on January 1, 1980. The LA punkers, drunk and menacing, were outside the cafe throwing beer bottles against the wall and watching them smash. We moved away quickly. We were walking through an alley back to the car, drunk and stoned. Someone came reeling behind us, walking very fast. We turned around. There was a young man about 25 years old. He had glasses on, but he had been hurt somehow. One of the glasses lenses was smashed over his eye. He was holding his eye with the smashed glasses lens, and there was blood pouring out of the area around his eye as he reeled drunkenly down the alley. We didn’t know if he had gotten beat up while drunk, or if he was really drunk and had fallen down, but he was in bad shape. We got out of his way before he would have crashed into us. He moved past us, careening back and forth down the alley, dripping blood all the way. “Let’s help him,” I said. “No way!” We looked at each other and both said, “Wow! Let’s get out of here!” We hurried to the car and drove home on the empty LA freeway, dodging the drunken vehicles along the way. It was the end of the Seventies, but it may as well have been the end of the century.

What is a "Flying Toilet?"

It’s that question all of you have been waiting to know the answer to, right? I know I have. Ever since I heard the phrase, “flying toilets”, I was mesmerized. Now I love me a toilet now and then, especially if it’s nice and warm, where I can relax on the throne with my loose shoes (apologies to Arthur Butz). Toilets not only come in handy, they are a downright necessity as long as you are breathing. But “flying toilets” really got me thinking. You mean airplanes? Or is it the flying shit of Mexico Shitty (sic), where so many people shit on the ground that the winds toss the shit up into the air as “shit-air”, sharing the shit-wealth so to speak, so everyone can breathe in that nice tasting air, not only the poor slum denizens, but even the rich who forget to venture outside without a gas mask. Turns out that flying toilets are just plastic bags. You use them and then you toss ’em. Where? Oh, anywhere you like! Just throw it over your shoulder like a sack lunch on a stick. Throw at the neighbor you never liked. Throw it at no one in particular. Throw it at the evil world that forces you to live in Kibera (possibly the most evil slum on Earth – Kibera is literally Hell on Earth). Throw it and curse the Gods! Flying toilets are a menace. If you don’t look both ways before crossing the slum-street, you might just get nailed by one. They pile up on the roofs and attract flies. And when it rains, the flying toilets try to become one with you, even in your very own home. They merge with the former streets and now rivers and kids go for a swim in the Flying Toilet Streams. It’s like something out of William S. Burroughs’ Naked Lunch, except, depressingly, it’s actually real. There are actually some measures being undertaken in Kenya to reduce to prevalence of flying toilets, which is a good sign of some progress. I hate to sound like a racist Afrikaner bastard, but sometimes it seems like these folks were better off in the bush, no?

Quatre Animaux, Un Broyeur

[wpvideo Gv94o4L4] I am looking for translators to translate this post into Spanish, Polish and Finnish. Email me if you are interested. This post has been translated into Italian as Quattro Animali, Un Macinatore (traduzione in Italiano). Hi folks, this is a French translation of 4 Animals, 1 Grinder , a post I made a while back. Regular readers feel free to watch it, unless you don’t like gross stuff. No bad reactions have been recorded so far other than temporary loss of appetite. Translation by Natalie From France, one kickass translator. She also translates to Italian too, believe it or not. She was brought up by French-speaking parents in Trieste, Italy. There is an old French population there happens to include a lot of the city’s elite upper class. I’m not sure of their history. Le premier animal est une vache, le second un cochon, le troisième une autre vache, et le dernier un cheval. Je n’en crois pas mes yeux, ce n’est pas vraiment horrible ou catastrophique comme la majeure partie des autres vidéos ici. C’est assez brut, mais c’est la vie mec. Cela nous montre ce qui se passe dans un centre d’équarrissage. Tout le bétail mort est poussé vers un broyeur par un ascenseur puis broyé par cette machine incroyable : os, têtes, sabots et tout le reste. Un tas d’articles sur le Net affirment que ces vaches sont vivantes. Ce n’est pas vrai. Elles paraissent vivantes seulement quand le broyeur se met en marche ; en fait, elles bougent dans tous les sens à cause de la puissance de l’appareil. Une autre idée fausse est que les animaux sont mixés et destinés à l’alimentation humaine, comme les hot dogs par exemple. C’est faux. Ce sont des animaux qui sont morts à la ferme, donc ils sont sûrement impropres à la consommation (humaine). Certaines personnes affirment que les produits de l’équarrissage pourraient être destinés à l’alimentation animale (en particulier pour les poulets) ou pour l’alimentation des animaux de compagnie, ce n’est pas une pensée agréable (en effet c’est la cause de la maladie de la vache folle)…L’idée que tout ceci finisse dans la gamelle de nos animaux de compagnie me fait de la peine. Si, c’est vrai. Je ne mangerai plus jamais de croquettes pour chien. Je pense que d’habitude les animaux broyés finissent en engrais, ce qui est une façon inoffensive de les utiliser. On produit aussi de la graisse animale, pour les moteurs. On en fait même du savon de cette purée de cheval. (purée de Mr Ed dans le texte original ndt) Les gens ne se rendent pas compte que le bétail meurt tous les jours, en particulier dans les exploitations modernes. Ils n’y pensent jamais mais…comment se débarrasser des chevaux, vaches et cochons morts ? Vous ne pouvez pas les déposer au coin de la rue pour les éboueurs. Et il n’est pas facile de les enterrer dans un trou. Nous n’avons pas de cimetière pour vaches et chevaux, et les incinérateurs ne les acceptent pas. C’est là qu’intervient le centre d’équarrissage. J’imagine que l’on vend la carcasse à l’usine d’équarrissage, qui vous envoie du personnel pour emporter l’animal. Ils le ramènent à l’usine, le broient et en font du compost ou autre chose. Une chose que vous devriez savoir à propos de ces centres d’équarrissage est que l’odeur y est nauséabonde, comme l’affirment les riverains. Le gars qui s’occupe du monte charge doit avoir le pire boulot de ce pays. Imaginez-vous à la place de ce gars qui doit nettoyer le broyeur. C’est un sacré désordre. À la fin le monte charge jette un cheval dans l’appareil, regarder cet appareil en train de broyer est incroyable. Ce qui m’a soufflé, c’est le bruit de ce mixeur géant quand il hache les os et les crânes. Super ! Il y a un passage assez désagréable, lors de la deuxième vache (2’11 dans la vidéo) où la carcasse laisse échapper un énorme jet, pendant qu’elle est broyée. Cela signifie que l’animal est resté en décomposition pendant un certain temps et a gonflé. C’est une autre raison pour laquelle cette viande est impropre à la consommation humaine. Cette vidéo était disponible depuis quelques années, mais depuis la mi-aoùt 2009 elle cartonne ! Il y a une incroyable quantité de choses que l’on peut regarder sur Internet. Avant Al Gore, combien d’entre nous avaient déjà vu une usine d’équarrissage en action ? La société qui produit cet appareil se trouve au Danemark. Pensez à la technologie employée dans cet engin. Il s’appelle le PB 30/60 Crusher. Quelques considérations: Ça pourrait quand même être une super machine pour appliquer la peine de mort ! Fini cette connerie d’injection létale. Meurtre au premier degré? Je vous condamne au broyeur! On pourrait vendre des tickets pour une coquette somme, pour que les spectateurs viennent voir le meurtrier qui se fait mouliner vivant. On pourrait ensuite utiliser les bénéfices pour aider les caisses de l’état, ainsi l’état pourrait dépenser l’argent pour aider les gens. Je veux une de ces machines ! Où est-ce que je peux en acheter une ? J’aimerais m’en servir pour quelques uns de mes ennemies. Je les ficellerais, je les jetterais sur la rampe de chargement et m’en débarrasserais dans le Broyeur. Puis j’encaisserais 1000 euros par spectateur, deviendrais riche et me barrerais avec la recette. Nous devrions utiliser cet appareil sur les êtres humains pour les broyer. De cette façon nous pourrions sauver pas mal de place dans les cimetières et utiliser l’espace de futurs cimetières pour construire des épiceries, des supermarchés et autres choses indispensables. À présent, je pense que quand je mourrai, je souhaiterais être broyé de cette façon. On pourrait le faire sous forme d’enterrement, et tous les invités pourraient regarder pendant que je suis haché, en grignotant du pop corn et d’autres trucs. Après avoir été haché je souhaiterais être mis en boite de conserve sous le nom “Robert Lindsay Pâtée” et donné à mon chaton, en supposant que j’en ai un. Si je n’ai pas de chat je demanderais à devenir de la nourriture pour chat, parce que je les aime. De cette façon les chats feraient un festin avec quelqu’un qui les aime vraiment. Les chats m’ont donné tant d’amour dans ma vie que cela serait ma manière tout à fait spéciale de le leur rendre ! Il ont du avoir un sacré rock brutal, mortel et métallique joué en fond sonore, n’est-ce pas ? Ça serait sympa de voir un éléphant mort ou une girafe jetés dans cette machine, juste pour rire… Dans mes rêves, il y aurait 600 chaînes sur le câble. Une serait « la chaîne de la déchiqueteuse d’animaux ». Cette chaîne montrerait le broyeur en train d’hacher des animaux, toute la journée. Pour rendre les programmes plus intéressants, ils pourraient varier les sortes d’animaux à broyer. J’allumerai la télé durant des heures, en faisant mon travail, même en bruit de fond. Je changerai probablement de chaîne lors du repas. Il existe plein de possibilités d’utilisation de cette machine. Nous pourrions prendre un enfant Blanc obèse , élevé par une mère célibataire avec des Twinkies et des jeux vidéo, et le coller sous la machine. La viande du broyeur à bétail sortirait tout autours de lui et même sur lui. Elle atterrirait sur son visage tout en le recouvrant. Nous aurions des ouvriers avec des pelles, pour lui enlever la viande ainsi il ne serait pas enterré. Il pourrait garder sa bouche ouverte, et un peu de la viande tomberait dedans. Puis il la mangerait. Nous le tiendrions là-dessous, il deviendrait de plus en plus gras. Après 10 ans de ce traitement, il serait si gras qu’il pourrait devenir le Roi d’Allemagne. Nous pourrions mouliner les animaux et les donner à Disney. Disney pourrait les reconstituer en êtres humains, particulièrement en stars préférées des teen-agers Selena, Miley et Britney. En peu de temps les fans hystériques se rendront compte que leur idole était un cheval haché. On pourrait utiliser cet appareil pour tenter de résoudre les conflits insolubles. En broyant des cochons et des vaches, en faisant des films de cela et en les distribuant dans les zones de conflit, peut-être que nous pourrions faire des progrès dans le conflit hindo musulman au Cachemire. Les possibilités sont infinies ! If you think this website is valuable to you, please consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site.

One Cop No Legs

[wpvideo 6f8JBet8] Warning! This video has caused adverse reactions, including vomiting, in some viewers. Please exercise caution in viewing this video. This is one seriously messed up video. A traffic cop in Vietnam gets hit by a truck and is cut in half. For about five minutes, bystanders surround him but don’t know what to do. Idiotically, no other cops, ambulances, doctors, anyone, show up. The poor guy just lies there. However, the video does end at a little over 5 minutes when the ambulance finally shows up. He realizes what is going on, and it’s like he keeps trying to stuff his guts back in. What’s even more weird is he keeps up a running conversation with the crowd around him the whole time and does not even appear to be in tremendous pain. It’s almost like he’s asking, “Hey, could you stuff my guts back in and put my legs back on please? This is really a drag lying here chopped in half you know. For one thing, I can’t get up.” People are complaining about the bystanders and saying that they are not doing anything. This is translated into a cultural critique of Vietnam being a backwards Third World mess where life is not valued. However, if you translate the soundtrack from Vietnamese to English, a different picture emerges. The people are crowding around, telling him to be calm, that they have called the police, but the ambulance is being slowed down by traffic. Others are trying to stop traffic so the ambulance can get through quicker. Yet others suggest getting a local doctor who lives nearby. A Christian woman tells him to pray to Jesus to save himself. The man says, “I’m going to die…” At one point, angrily, he says, “Stop taking pictures of me!” This is making the rounds on the Internet these days and it’s getting pretty popular. It was on Youtube for a bit, but it quickly got removed. I can’t handle the beheading or murder videos on here at all. I watch em once or twice and then never again. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but this video did not really upset me. For some reason, I thought it was funny. I mean, the guy’s chopped in half lying in the street, and he’s acting like there’s nothing wrong. He’s looking around at the crowd, and it’s like he’s asking them about the weather. Plus, you don’t see the guy die, so it’s not so horrible. The poor man died on the way to the hospital. There is some confusion between this man and Peng Shulin, a Chinese man who suffered a similar accident. That incident occurred in China in 1995, and this incident occurred in Vietnam just recently. Peng Shulin survived, but he no longer has legs and has to hop around like a human frog.

Un Bisturi Una Cisti

[wpvideo lPymBw0E] This post has been translated into French as Un Bistouri Un Kyste (en Français). This is an Italian translation of the One Lance One Cyst video by Natalie of France, my finest translator. Enjoy. Questo video è veramente disgustoso ! Penso si tratti di un film medicale. Pare sia stato girato in un ambulatorio. Si vede semplicemente l’incisione di una cisti mostruosa, o un brufolo o qualcosa del genere. Dal suo aspetto sembra una cisti sebacea. Mi piace molto schiacciarmi i brufoli, pure alla mia età. Lo so che poi possono rimanere delle cicatrici, ma onestamente è difficile, soprattutto se le mani sono pulite, dopo la doccia e che i brufoli sono pronti a scoppiare. Questa cosa nel video è il « più terribile brufolo che si sia mai visto ». L’apparecchio aspira sempre di più, sembra che il brufolo sia dotato di una produzione di sebo eterna. Proprio quando si comincia a sperare che il dottore stia finendo, quel dannato brufolo ressuscita e combatte di nuovo. A tutti quelli che mi malediscono di aver pubblicato questa cazzata, il mio intento è di far progredire la scienza, ecco.

Un Bistouri Un Kyste

[wpvideo lPymBw0E] This post has been translated into Italian as Un Bisturi Una Cisti (traduzione in italiano). This is a French translation of the One Lance One Cyst video by Natalie of France, my finest translator. Enjoy. Cette vidéo est vraiment dégoutante! Je pense qu’il s’agit d’une vidéo médicale. Il semble qu’elle ait été tournée dans un cabinet médical. Elle montre tout simplement l’incision d’un horrible kyste, bouton ou furoncle où quelque chose de ce genre. Vu son aspect on dirait un kyste sébacé. J’aime beaucoup me presser les boutons, même à mon age (mûr). Je sais que ça peut laisser des cicatrices, mais honnêtement, c’est difficile, surtout si vos mains son propres, juste après une douche et que le boutons est prêt à exploser. Cette chose dans la vidéo est « Le bouton le plus diabolique jamais créé ». L’appareil aspire encore et encore, cette chose semble un puits sans fond. Juste quand on pense que le docteur a réussi 0 terminer, ce satané bouton resurgit et livre le combat une fois de plus. Pour tous ceux qui me maudissent d’avoir posté cette connerie, je tiens à vous faire savoir que je l’ai mise pour faire avancer la science, voilà.

Four Animals One Grinder

I decided to move this video over to the video site. Find it here. Välkommen svenska läsare! Detta inlägg är nu tillgänglig på svenska. Klicka här för den svenska versionen. Jag älskar Sverige! I am looking for translators to translate this post into Polish and Dutch. Email me if you are interested. Warning: Rare adverse reactions to this video, including vomiting, have been recorded. Please take appropriate precautions before watching the video. The first animal is a cow, the second one is a pig, the third another cow and the last a horse. I can’t believe this video. It isn’t really horrible or evil. It’s kind of gross, but hey that’s life, man. Mostly it’s just incredible. It just shows what goes on at a rendering plant. Whole dead farm animals are fed into the rendering machine via lifter and then ground up by this unbelievable machine, bones, heads, hooves and all. A lot of posts on the Net are saying that these cows are alive. It’s not true. They just appear to be alive since once the grinder starts, they start moving around a lot due to the incredible force of the thing. Another common misconception is that these animals are being ground up for human food like hot dogs. That’s not true. These are dead animals that died on farms somewhere so they are not really fit for consumption. The result might goes into, among other things, animal feed (especially for chickens) or pet food, and that’s not a pleasant thought (this is how Mad Cow Disease is being caused). The thought that this goes into pet food also bothers me. If it’s true, that does it. I’m never going to eat dog food again. Usually the rendered dead animals are turned into fertilizer, which is a harmless use of them. They also turned into yellow (non-vegetable) oil. That’s used as grease for machinery. They also make soap out of this ground up Mr. Ed Puree. People don’t realize that animals die all the time on farms, especially on modern factory farms. What people never think about is, how do you get rid of dead horses, cows and pigs? You can’t exactly drag them to the curb and leave them there for the garbageman. And it’s kind of hard to bury them in a hole. We don’t have animal graveyards for cows and horses, and incinerators don’t accept them. This is where the rendering plant comes in. You sell the dead animal to the rendering plant, and they come and pick it up for you. They take it back to the plant and grind it up for Mulch N Grow or whatever. One problem with these rendering plants is that the smell emanating from them is truly horrendous, as people who live near them attest. The guy driving that lift must have one of the country’s nastiest jobs. Can you imagine being the guy who has to clean the grinder out? If you look at that thing, it’s a horrible mess. At the end of the video the lift tosses a horse in, and watching that sucker get ground up is incredible. One thing that blew me away was the sound of this crushing machine as it ground up bones and skulls. Wow! There’s a particularly nasty segment at the second cow (2:11 in the video) segment where the thing lets out this massive spurt as it’s being crunched up. That means that that dead cow had been decaying for a while and was getting bloated as dead animals tend to do. That’s another reason why this meat is not fit for consumption by humans. This video has been up for a few years, but it just started to go viral around mid-August 2009. Isn’t it incredible the stuff that we can see on the Interwebs? Before Al Gore invented the Internets, how many of us ever saw a rendering plant in action? The company that makes this sucker is out of Denmark. Just think of the tech that went into this machine. This thing is called the PB 30/60 Crusher. A few thoughts: Wouldn’t this be a great death penalty machine? Screw this lethal injection crap. 1st degree murder? I sentence you to the Grinder! We could sell tickets for large amounts of money for spectators to watch the killers get ground up alive and use the proceeds to help fund the state so the state can spend the money to help people. Damn I want one of these machines! Where can I buy one? I’d use it on some of my enemies. I would tie them up, throw them in the loader and dump them in the Grinder. Then I would charge like $1,000/head for spectators to watch, get rich and retire on the proceeds. We should use this thing on dead humans to grind them up. That way we could save lots of graveyard space and use the future would-be graveyard space to build strip malls and Walmarts and other useful things. Actually, I think when I die, I want to be ground up like this. We could make it like a funeral thing and all of the funeral guests could come watch me get ground up and eat popcorn and stuff. It would be a great end to my life. After I get ground up, I would like to be canned as Robert Lindsay Chow and fed to my pet cats, assuming that I have any. If I don’t have any cats, I would ask to be made into cat food, because I love cats, and this way, cats could feast on someone who really loves them. Cats have given me so much love in my life, this would be my special way of giving back! They should have had some really brutal death metal music playing in the background of this video, don’t you think? Wouldn’t it be cool to see a dead elephant or giraffe get thrown in that thing, just for fun? In my dream world, there would be like 600 channels on cable. One of them should be the Animal Shredder Channel. That channel would show nothing but this machine grinding animals all day. To make it more interesting, they could vary the types of animals getting ground up. I would just turn it on and leave it on for hours at a time while I do my work and whatnot, just like background you know. Except I would probably change the channel when I was eating. There are a lot of possibilities for alternate uses for this machine. We could take some fat White kid raised by a single Mom on Twinkies and video games and stick him underneath the machine. The meat from the ground up farm animals would fall all around him and all over him. It would land on his face, covering him. We would have workers with shovels to shovel the meat off of him so he wouldn’t get buried. He would keep his mouth open, and some of the meat would fall in. Then he would eat it. We would keep him under there, and he would get fatter and fatter. After about 10 years of that, he would be so fat that he could become the King of Germany. We could take the ground up animals and give them to Disney. Disney could reconstitute them into humans, especially teen idols like Selena, Miley and Britney. Little would their swooning fans realize that their favorite teen star was really a ground up horse! We could use the machine to try to solve intractable conflicts. By grinding up pigs and cows both and making movies of it and distributing it to conflict zones, possibly we could make headway in the Hindu-Muslim conflict in Kashmir. The possibilities are endless! If you think this website is valuable to you, please consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site.

One Lance One Cyst

[wpvideo lPymBw0E] This post has been translated into Italian as Un Bisturi Una Cisti (traduzione in italiano) and into French as Un Bistouri Un Kyste (en Français). This video is really gross! I think it’s just a medical video. Looks like it was shot in a doctor’s office. It simply shows the lancing of some horrible cyst – boil – zit or whatever it is. From the looks of it, it appears to be a sebaceous cyst. I love to pop me a zit or two, even in middle age. I know it’s supposed to leave scars, but honestly, it hardly ever does, especially if your hands are clean, you’re just out of the shower,  and the zit is ready to blow. This thing in the movie is like the Most Evil Zit That Ever Was. The sucker just goes on and on and seems to have eternal life or something. Just when you think the doc’s finally got the last of it, this damn Zit Christ up and resurrects to fight once again. For all you who bitch about me posting this crap, I’m posting this in the furtherance of medical science, so there. If you think this website is valuable to you, please consider a contribution to support the continuation of the site.

Video of Saddam's Body After the Hanging

Repost from the old site. This is a famous video of surreptitious footage of Saddam’s body in the morgue after he was hung. It was taken by two Shia morgue workers and then leaked to the Internet to the fury of Saddam’s supporters. I am not sure how easy this is to find anymore, but it was fairly widely available when it showed up. It is very short, only 17 seconds or so. See it on Robert Lindsay Returns here .

Video of Saddam's Funeral

Repost from the old site. This video was always pretty hard to find, but it’s probably even harder to find now with time. It’s a pretty fascinating video of Saddam Hussein’s funeral in Al Awja, Iraq, his hometown. The footage is pretty emotional and scary and there are lots of scary-looking and very angry Arabs there, many with their faces covered. I assume they are members of the anti-US Iraqi guerrillas. There’s nothing really gross about it, although you do see the body for a bit. All in all, an interesting piece of history. See it on Robert Lindsay Returns here.

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