Case History: Boy, Age 15, Killing Puppies

In my peer counseling practice, I have so far had two animal killers. One was a 16 year old boy in Germany. He came to me about violent thoughts but he didn’t and couldn’t pay. Nonetheless he was so profoundly disturbed (killing puppies) that I felt that he needed an immediate intervention so I simply worked with him for free. Also I sometimes work with teenagers for free as they can never pay.

This boy had rescued a dog and made a pet out of it. It was a female and soon enough it had puppies. The boy then strangled all of the puppies one by one.

I was very alarmed by this, but I had to tread very carefully. I did not get angry at him for killing the puppies, nor did I act shocked. My attitude was just, “Ok, so you killed some puppies.” I told him that killing puppies was wrong, and he should not have done that. This prompted a weepy apology session where he tried to defend himself by saying it wasn’t his fault. I accepted his apology and didn’t bother him about killing the puppies.

However, I did say that I wanted this puppy-killing to stop, and I didn’t want to hear about him killing any more puppies. I was emphatic about this. He readily agreed.

A lot of clinicians will freak out and get very angry at a client who is killing mammals, but I think that is the wrong approach. The client is just going to get his back up at best, and he may well get up and walk out of the room at worst.

Even if you are shocked and horrified by the mammal-killing, it is important to not show your feelings. You can raise your eyebrows, suck in your breath, say, “Wow”, things like that, but don’t get mad at them. However, you need to throw down a hard limit of no more mammal-killing at least while the client is talking to you.

Not all mammal-killers are bad human beings. A lot of them are but not all of them. Some of them are good people who are simply ill. Also it’s just a lower mammal. Killing a dog or a cat, as much as we love them, is simply not the same as killing a human, sorry.

I finally figured out that he was probably hallucinating voices although he denied that he was, as he called them thoughts and not voices. But you can tell through careful questioning and listening carefully to their answers whether you are dealing with thoughts or hallucinations. Sometimes what people describe as “thoughts” are actually auditory hallucinations. He was getting command hallucinations telling him to kill the puppies, and he was acting on them.

He also had some other problems. His mother was dead. At age 13, his mother had taken him and herself to the railroad tracks in order to get hit by a train and commit dual suicide. At the last minute the boy ran away from the train. The mother stayed on the tracks and was killed. That’s a pretty traumatizing experience!

He had a flat attitude about him where he was always saying, “I don’t care.” It seemed a bit odd how he seemed to not care about so many things.

He kept to himself at school and drew pictures a lot. For some reason his behavior was odd enough that his schoolmates bullied him. They often hit him. He would fight back vigorously, so he was getting into fights all the time. I didn’t think this was pathological, as he was just defending himself.

After he killed the puppies he felt so guilty that he put his hands in boiling water for a long time to punish himself. This had caused some injuries to his hands.

He also didn’t get along with his father at all for whatever reason.

He was extremely confused sexually and most of his early sexual experiences from 13-on had been with other boys. But now he had a girlfriend with whom he was having regular sex, and he said he had discovered that he liked sex with women just fine. I figured he was probably straight or at least not gay. He was one of the most sexually confused people I have ever dealt with.

He also told me that he had killed a pet rabbit when he was five years old. After a bit I figured out that this was in response to a command hallucination also.

I relayed the case to a former therapist, a clinical psychologist, and he told me that mammal killers are often either psychopaths or psychotic. He also suggested that this boy may be on the track to develop Borderline Personality Disorder. He was a Pre-Borderline if you will.

We have to say this because we cannot diagnose personality disorders in people under 18 because personality often changes quite a bit, especially in adolescence. In particular, a lot of adolescents appear psychopathic but then they age out of it as they become adults. A lot of juvenile delinquents are actually just “temporary” criminals.

The BPD did fit with the self-harm (Borderline men, like Borderline women, often self-harm), the constant fighting (Borderline men often pick fights a lot), the identity confusion, and the sexual confusion.

Borderline men are bad. They’re much worse than Borderline women.

I told him it was absolutely imperative that he get to a psychiatrist and find out what was going on with his head. His father convinced him to go to a psychiatrist, and he was diagnosed with schizophrenia as I suspected.

He had a rather apathetic and “so what?” attitude about that too.

People can be apathetic for various reasons. I had an OCD man who wrote to me once with a 10 page long history of his illness. He was from India.

He worried about every stupid thing under the sun, but he also kept saying, “I don’t care” through the paper. In this case, obviously he did care and in fact, he cared way too much. So the constant “I don’t care” was probably a defense against his over-caring and the illness that developed out of it. It was a thought compulsion to counteract the excessive caring that was causing the obsessions.

However, in this case, the apathy made sense to me after his diagnosis because schizophrenics often seem apathetic, and one of the symptoms of the illness is flat emotions.

So you see not all mammal-killers are psychopaths. There can be other things going on too.

However, I must say that this boy was one of the most seriously disturbed clients I have ever had.

Masculine and Feminine Styles of Going Crazy

Borderline Personality Disorder manifests in different ways according to sex and gender. Borderline women turn a lot of their rage inwards into pain in the feminine style, while Borderline men turn their pain outwards into rage in the masculine style.

In both cases what is being internalized or externalized is something I would call different things: Pain, hurt, negativity. Possibly pain fits best. So in that sense all outward rage is simply inner pain directed outwards. And all inner pain is simply outward rage directed inwards.

Also a very high percentage of Borderline men are gay or bisexual. This makes sense as BPD is a female or feminine disorder. Borderline is simply the way that the Feminine Spirit goes crazy, and in that sense, all women are a bit Borderline.

Females go crazy in histrionic, borderline (both dramatic), and depressive (inwards) ways.

Males go crazy in psychopathic, narcissistic (male styles of dramatic, which are often quite aggressive), and manic (outwards and not uncommonly aggressive) ways.

  • Narcissism in the male or masculine person = Borderline in the female/gay man  or feminine person.
  • Psychopathy in the male or masculine person = Histrionic in the female/gay man or feminine person.
  • Mania in the male or masculine person = Depression in the female or feminine person.

I have argued before that male and female psychopaths or criminals are different, hence, we have masculine and feminine criminal styles:

  • Generalized criminality with a lot of aggression and even violence in the male = Prostitution and thievery in the female.

 

Alt Left: The Dangers of Medical Transition for Transsexuals, Especially During Childhood

I hope to do quite a few papers on this subject. In general there is no such thing as transsexualism and there is no such thing as transsexuals. Nobody is born in the wrong body.

~10% of transsexuals, mostly gay transwomen, do have a female-shifted brain, but it is not an actual female brain. Their brain is simply in between a male and female brain, so it is female-shifted if you will. But there is no one who is stuck in the  wrong body. No one has a female brain in a male body or vice versa.

And a recent flood of new cases, mostly in teenage girls, is simply a mental illness being caused by social contagion. In this sense it is quite similar to Anorexia Nervosa and in fact, these girls resemble anorexics in  many ways. All of this is completely fake. None is real at all.

I have to have some sympathy for some transsexuals, mostly gay transwomen. These boys have stubbornly insisted that they were girls from an early age such as two or three. Such cases are intransigent and resistant to treatment. I am just fine with transition for these folks.

The rest are just mostly very effeminate gay men who are so effeminate that they think  they are women, sort of an extreme form of homosexuality.

Many transmen are simply very butch lesbians. Whereas in the past they would simply have identified as lesbians and lived their lives this way (something I am just fine with in these cases as I feel it is biological), now they are insisting that they are really men and transitioning. As might be expected a lot of lesbians are pretty mad about this. They hate men enough anyway, and now many of the recent crop of lesbians are insisting that they are the hated gender. Oh noes!

Puberty blockers are catastrophic and they are being given out en masse to very young children nowadays. The results are disastrous and I think this should be done seldom if ever.

Risks of puberty blockers: Sterility and permanent loss of sexual function. Very high levels of sterility. Impairment of bone mineralization, hence weak bones that easily break. Impairment of proper hip development (females only). Results in a male hip instead of a proper hourglass shaped female hip.

Risks cross-sex hormones for MtF only: 5X rate of throboembolic disease. The estrogen causes blood clots in these men’s veins, how I have no idea. Gynecomastia, rarely reversible. These men develop female-type breasts or moobs that never  go away.

Risks of cross-sex hormones for FtM only: Hirsutism, very difficult to reverse. They will have hairy bodies for the rest of their lives even is they detransition. For instance, even if these women go back to being women, they will still have to shave their faces for the rest of their lives. Deeper voice – this is permanent.

Risks of cross-sex hormones only: Elevated heart attack rate, possibly in both sexes.

Transition unnecessary in childhood – no need for immediate transition to prevent suicide: No evidence that transition with drugs and surgery before adulthood reduces the trans suicide rate.

Fake disorder – transsexualism is not real – they are all just mentally ill: Rates of mental disorder and autism among FtM transsexuals are very high, mostly Borderline Personality Disorder and autism.

Unnecessary – goes away on its own: 80% of childhood onset gender dysphoria resolves, often with puberty.

A Look at the Cluster B Personality Disorders: Narcissistic, Psychopathic, Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorders

Rahul:

Have you met someone with multiple Cluster B personality disorders?

Nope. I have never even met one person with a diagnosed Cluster B disorder, much less multiple ones. Each disorder is its own syndrome, and I doubt if many people get diagnosed with multiple Cluster B disorders.

But I have met people who I thought were psychopaths or had psychopathic traits or Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).

I’ve met people with obvious Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

I’ve never met anyone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), but I have met people who I believe had it, and my friends and relatives knew people who had it.

I’ve never met a Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) or anyone who I thought had it.

These are the “Insufferable Asshole/Total Fucking Bitch” Personality Disorders. They can also be called the “Satanic Monster Straight from Hell” Disorders. For the most part, from my vantage as an introvert, most all of these people are anywhere from lousy to out and out horrible people. All the men are assholes. And all the women are psychobitches.

The common denominator in the Cluster B disorders is drama and chaos. All of these disorders generate large amounts of both. Another common trend is profound selfishness or self-centeredness. A lot don’t care much about most other people. And even when they do, they typically don’t treat them very well.

Cluster B types are extremely crafty, and many hazy Borderline women with Borderline traits without the full disorder are able to function quite well in society, albeit their personal lives are typically mired in drama and chaos, the two hallmarks of BPD.

These women are called “High-Conflict Women,” and they are literally everywhere, walking landmines stalking our society in plunging necklines and yoga pants. They’re bait, the flashing lure of the femme fatale darting through the human current, daring you to bite.

A female psychologist runs a website warning men about these psychobitches. The page I saw ran to 500 pages. These women typically hook up with good, decent, nice men. These men are very good people. I suppose you could call them nice guys except that the term has been so abused nowadays. These bitches attach to these men like remoras and literally suck the life out of them like any parasite does.

The therapist states that there is basically no cure for High-Conflict Women, or if they do get cured, you never know when it might happen, so you should not hang around suffering for a day that may never come. Recovery, if at all, may be decades into the future.

Why they attach to these good, kind, decent men is unknown, but they probably think these guys are suckers or doormats for their abuse. Face it, very few hard masculine men are going to cotton to these harridans. These women don’t end up with typical macho men because most of these guys would probably kill these bitches.

These Cluster B types can be very crafty and are often able to control their behavior very well. They are like the boss who sucks up to her superiors and then turns around and beats up her underlings.

Many Cluster B’s are “controlled” Cluster B’s such as “controlled psychopaths,” etc. The controlled psychopath type spends their life riding on the edge of the law, sometimes barely slipping over. Yet old studies show that most psychopaths never spend a day in a jail or prison. Instead they are what I would call “legal criminals.” They’re slippery as eels and oily as kerosene.

“Legal criminals” as in, say, our President for instance, who is absolutely a case of severe NPD. In fact he has a malign variety of NPD called Malignant Narcissism, the most extreme type of NPD. This is narcissism that has gone so far off the rails that it is moving out of narcissism and heading off towards psychopathy.

One famous clinician from the psychoanalytic days described Malignant Narcissism as “pure evil.” Indeed a few serial killers have been Malignant Narcissists. I think the best diagnosis for Ted Bundy is not psychopathy but Malignant Narcissism, and I am not alone.

So our great MAGA president has literally the exact same mental disorder as Ted Bundy has. Let that sink in. Donald Trump is Ted Bundy. Granted, Trump is a controlled variety, a “legal criminal,” and Bundy was a severely uncontrolled variety, but they both have the same disorder.

Oh one more thing. It is universally acknowledged among clinicians that if Malignant Narcissists are anything, they are dangerous. Every one of them, no exceptions. So Mr. Trump is a dangerous man, but most Americans can probably figure that out by now.

The two disorders, narcissism and psychopathy, are on a continuum, with one view having psychopathy as an extreme version of narcissism.

Histrionic PD has typically been thought of as “psychopathy in the female.” This is correct as psychopathy in women is not nearly as bad as it is in men, and it typically results in this lousy woman called “the whore.”

Indeed, 45% of all female prostitutes are diagnosed psychopaths, which should not surprise you if you know anything about these women. Most prostitutes are a step away from being out and out thieves, and quite a few of them actually are small time thieves. But the thievery occurs in the context of sex and a lot of alcohol and drug abuse, and charges are rarely filed.

They’re the bitches you go out on a date with, and when it’s over, you are $50 poorer (which you had no intention to spend – she just weaseled it out of you), and you didn’t even get laid. And yes, that sentence is autobiographical.

An argument has been made recently that BPD is simply psychopathy in the female. Traditionally it was thought of as “narcissism in the female.” Men get NPD, women get BPD, but it’s the same disorder just presenting differently between the sexes.

As I alluded above, HPD has often been thought of as “psychopathy in the female.” Men get psychopathy, women get HPD,  but once again it’s the same animal varying by gender. This HPD female psychopath as the femme fatale or the basic “whore” personality.

They’re mostly lousy women, but psychopathy in the male is so much worse because psychopathic men are so much more physically dangerous, whereas women are not particularly violent physically. Psychopathic men cause far more damage to society than psychopathic women do.

They can be verbally and spiritually violent, and they can kill a man’s soul if he doesn’t toughen up enough, but they are typically not physically violent. Women almost seem to have an inborn aversion to physical violence. They nearly recoil at the mention of it.

Whores just lighten your wallet, often unsuspectingly. Male psychopaths, at least the uncontrolled type, are often literally monsters who commit a tremendous amount of aggression, abuse other humans wantonly, callously, and habitually, and feel not one iota of guilt about any of it. A female psychopath might take your money, but a male psychopath might take your life.

Cluster B folks are extremely manipulative, so they are often able to hide their disorder while at work. Narcissists are experts at this, and psychopaths are always hiding their illness by the very nature of the condition. They don’t call it the “mask of sanity” for nothing.

Poor functioning BPD’s often cannot work at all. But some very bad ones are able to control the illness the whole time they are at work, but the minute they get home, the psychobitch comes out to play, and they abuse, manipulate, gaslight, and generally drive insane any other main person in their lives, typically a husband or boyfriend.

I had a female physician client like this. She has an extremely kind face, and she rescued stray animals, especially cats. She was a good doctor and a model of sanity at the hospital, but the minute she gets home, the human black widow spider leaped out and sucked her husband into her devious crazy-making nightmare of a web.

That’s why I don’t have a lot of sympathy for these “Asshole/Bitch disorders.” When I realized that they could control it completely for eight hours at work only to unleash their terror and entropy the moment they walk into the front door to come home, I lost sympathy for them.

I thought, “Hey, they can control it. They’re just choosing not to.” And indeed, most Cluster B’s very much enjoy being horrible. They get a kick out of it.

Narcissists love to be assholey jerks. It’s entertainment to them.

Psychopaths of course live to prey on other humans, often abusing them sadistically for sheer kicks.

BPD women can be profoundly mean, and I  think they might get off on being superbitches. They also seem to actually enjoy being crazy. I had a BPD client, the most severe case of BPD I have ever seen, who honestly didn’t want to give up her disorder. I finally concluded that she actually enjoyed being nuts. Maybe it’s exciting?

HPD femme fatales and Mata Hari types exploit, manipulate, connive, con, and in one way or another steal from others, particularly their male partners who are driven to Hell and back. I’ve never known one, but I imagine they get a lot of kicks out of this wild, sadistic, exploitative, and at times psychotic condition. They certainly lead “wild lives.”

I believe that what women want most in life is “peak emotional experiences.” So I just answered Freud’s baffled question. The emotions can be good, bad, or ugly, or up, down, or all around, this way or that, up or down, forwards or backwards. It doesn’t particularly matter.

They’re all peak experiences, either good or bad, and this dramatic feral behavior seems to provide women with what they desire most in life.

If you think about it, women are like drug users.

What are “peak emotional experiences?” They are “rushes.” So the woman lives for the rush, up or down doesn’t particularly matter, it’s all wildness and living life to the fullest as they see it.

And what happens when we take drugs? “Rushes.” They can be good, bad, or six ways from Sunday, especially when you get into the hallucinogens, but face it, it’s always a rush one way or another when you are high on dope. Without the rush, dope isn’t even dope. It’s nothing, a handful of leaves, sand, or water in your hands. Dope is literally the rush itself.

Rushes don’t have to be good. Even bad rushes can be good if you like it wild. The fear of the bad trip is part of the rush.

Live dangerously. Roll your own smokes. Straight Scotch, no water. Die with your boots on.

These are the ways that men live wild lives, but women have their own version, which is more based on wild emotions themselves as described above.

Bottom line is that Cluster B people get along great in our society because they are extroverted and often successful. Many have excellent people skills. They are expert manipulators and they can a lot done and achieve a lot of things, albeit sometimes via nefarious means. I would say that our culture itself is essentially sociopathic or Cluster B. So America is a Cluster B country then.

Despite their success it’s obvious to me that almost all Cluster B’s are either an insufferable assholes/sheer monsters/psychobitches from Hell at least part the time. They’re not very nice people.

But our society likes angry, aggressive, Type A extroverted assholes. We are an “asshole society.” Look at our president. Real careful. Trump is is us, me and you and him and her. He’s our reflection in the mirror. He’s all around us every day, everywhere we go. Trump is the quintessential American, the good, the bad, and the ugly, the whole nine yards.

You would think that being a total fucking bitch or a huge raging asshole would get you fired from a few jobs here and there, and sometimes Cluster B’s do lose jobs.

Borderlines can be so disturbed that they can’t work at all.

Almost all narcissists can work and they often rise to high levels in society.

Controlled psychopaths can work and often rise to very high levels. They do tend to get fired more than average, but they usually land on their feet and bounce right back like nothing happened.

Histrionics can definitely work, albeit often at shady jobs. Many prostitutes, porn stars, cam girls, strippers, and so on have Histrionic PD. And if you study the life history of a lot of these women, many of them are lousy people.

Never get involved with a whore or a prostitute. It’s one of the worst mistakes you can make as a man. Some strippers are ok, but even those are often moody and nutty.

A lot of HPD’s have the callous exploitative character of the prostitute.

A lot of female porn stars seem to be pretty horrible human beings. On the other end, I’ve never known a female porn star. But reading around, many act very bad, and they are often arrested and are in and out of jail, especially after they leave the industry. Many have serious drug problems while working and then afterwards. Suicides are surprisingly common. I would not get involved with a porn star if I were you.

All of these prostitute types are exploitative, mercenary women who regard men as walking ATM’s and, like all “whore” types, are to drain your wallet and bank account, run up all your credit cards, and then leave you high and dry, spinning in a circle, feeling like a hurricane just hit you, and thinking, “What was that?” This is exactly the experience many victims of male psychopaths describe.

Many prostitutes, strippers, and porn stars are low level thieves. Callous, hard, cold thieving bitches.

A Brief Look at Histrionic Personality Disorder

Rahul: Have you ever been acquainted with someone with Histrionic Personality Disorder. Is so, can you describe your experience?

I never known one of this particular variety of human monster, thank God for that.
Very, very bad. HPD is the personality of “the whore.” Pornstars, prostitutes, strippers, sexworkers of all types. One reason not to date or get involved with prostitute-type women is because this is the personality that most of them have. Get involved with a prostitute and you get involved with a monster, female version.
Mata Hari was the original HPD. The HPD woman is the “femme fatale.” She’s a black widow. She will draw you into her web and kill you one way or another. A lot of people think that HPD is how psychopathy manifests in the female or feminine character. Men become psychopaths; women (and effeminate men) become HPD’s. ~75% of male HPD’s are gay or bisexual. It’s basically a female disorder.
Basically, they’re monsters. Just another group of Cluster B psychos that will ruin your life like the Borderlines, Narcissists, Psychopaths, and the rest of the motley crew.
Similar to other Cluster B personality disorders, Histrionic Personality Disorder forums are often tumultuous and frequently have to be either policed or shut down due to HPD’s coming in, starting fights and making huge scenes.
And also similar to other Cluster B forums, HPD forums usually have few to no HPD’s (because they don’t think there is anything wrong with themselves) and instead are full of the victims of HPD’s, sort of like how Borderline and Narcissistic PD forums are mostly full of the victims of these particular type of monsters. Antisocial PD forums instead are full of psychopaths because psychopaths love being psychopaths and like to run around on stage shouting to the world how cool it is to be a psychopath. Psychopaths literally think being a psychopath is fun. Antisocial behavior is actually their idea of a good time, believe it or not.

Does Borderline Personality Disorder Cause Obsessive Behavior?

Answered on Quora.
If by obsessive behavior you mean OCD-type behavior, there is no connection at all other than perhaps the coincidental incidence of both illnesses in some individuals.
However, the presence of BPD in an individual with OCD greatly complicates the OCD and makes much harder to treat than without the BPD.

The Untreatable Borderline Personality Disorder Client: A Therapeutic Nightmare

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)is one of the hardest disorders of all to treat. It can be improved with some therapies, but the road is long and hard. Many seem to go on for years or decades with little or no improvement. There are reports of cures, and I am familiar with a woman whose BPD cleared up at age 55 after having come on in childhood. That’s probably a typical cure. Decades of nasty illness followed by a lifting of the illness in middle age.
Many mental disorders improve in middle age, and even many personality disorders improve during this age period.
Schizophrenia often ‘burns out” in middle age, and florid positive symptoms are replaced by more negative symptoms.
Many anxiety disorders attentuate in middle age.
Even psychopaths often get better or at least less destructive in middle age, as many of them also burn out in a similar fashion as schizophrenics. A number of highly antisocial psychopathic men get better in middle age as the antisocial behavior attentuates. It is often replaced by depression, heavy drinking and a pessimistic, cynical, imbittered and misanthropic person who nonetheless does little damage to society anymore.
It should be noted the clients with BPD vary widely in their symptom pathology.  Some are much more functional than others. Quite a few can even function well at their jobs all day, but when they come home from work, they fall apart and shift into full BPD pathology.
However, some people with BPD are so ill that they seem nearly untreatable. It is these people who will be the subject of this post, not BPD’s in general. These people seem so far gone and broken that one wonders how anyone could ever even begin to put them back together again. I suppose some progress could be made, but the damage is so severe that I have a hard time seeing how even the best therapist could possibly fix these people in any significant way.
A typical case might be a young woman who, only in her late 20’s to early 30’s, already has 8 -13 suicide attempts and many hospitalizations behind her. She goes into the hospital on a regular basis. Therapy seems to do nothing but feed her pathology as she manipulates gullible new therapists to believe her lies, nonsense, and projections as the new therapist confuses symptom pathology with the truth. Drugs do almost nothing.
Diagnosis itself is often difficult because the BPD is so severe that the person often appears psychotic/delusional. One wonders what are delusions and what are not. Even the delusions do not seem to last for long, as they are dropped, changed around, added to or substituted in a wildly chaotic fashion.
Usually there is a lot of combativeness and involvement with the court system, as the extreme rage leads a litigious person.
Splitting is severe and textbook.
Self-image is so unstable that the person almost literally adopts the full personality and even persona of whomever is on their radar at the moment. The clinician needs to be prepared that this person will so identify with the clinician that they will adopt the therapist’s image and persona as their own. Boundaries nearly do not exist for these people, and they often fall in love with their therapists, try to seduce them, or on the other hand become furious at them to where sessions became rage attacks at the therapist, and the therapists is at odds of how to respond without violating ethics.
The client can become overtly suicidal even during sessions, and infatuation with the therapist can quickly split to where the therapist is the source of all evil. Homicidal threats and homicidal-suicidal threats against the therapist may now appear. The client then hospitalizes themselves due the “horrible trauma from the evil,  incompetent therapist” and soon finds sympathetic new therapist, typically a feminist woman, to unload her story on. The new female therapist forms an alliance with the client against the “evil male” former therapist and accuses him of damaging the client.
Commonly, the therapist gets angry and tells off the client. This leads to abandonment and a vengeance agenda against the therapist, who has now “irreparably damaged” the BPD and “caused them to spiral out of control.” Be prepared to get accused of abandonment, causing severe trauma in the client and making them dramatically worse. The client may become hospitalized due to allegations of damage from an incompetent therapist.
These people are so difficult and chaotic that many clinicians refuse to see Borderline patients. Some are on the record as saying that when they say a Borderline client coming their way, they hide under their desk until they go away. For a lot of therapists, these clients are nothing but trouble, and endless parade of drama and chaos. Therapy itself is chaotic, mercurial, and wild with severe splitting and often extreme idealization of the therapist for good or ill or both, interrupted by fairly regular hospitalizations. The therapist begins to wonder what’s in it for them and thinks you could not pay them enough to suffer through such clients. These clients make an excellent argument that therapeutic abandonment is the proper choice with some clients.

Do Psychologists Make Their Patients Aware of the Diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Sociopathy?

I recently answered this question on Quora.

Do Psychologists Make their Patients Aware of the Diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Sociopathy?

These personality disorders seem to carry a lot of social stigma, therefore are patients made aware of their diagnosis or does the therapist just continue behavioral therapy to treat the symptoms rather than informing them of the diagnosis?

I am not a psychologist. I am a counselor. I only work with one disorder, OCD, and I can quite accurately diagnose that condition, I assure you. Nevertheless, I am not allowed to give out legal DSM diagnoses. However, I can obviously give out my opinion on a diagnosis. I can also tell the person my opinion on what they do not have. For instance, I have gotten many clients with OCD who have been misdiagnosed with some sort of psychosis. I am an expert at telling the two apart. I simply tell them that in my opinion, they are not psychotic. Then I tell them to fire your clinician and go get a new one that will recognize the difference between OCD and psychosis (many clinicians are very poor at telling these apart).
Other than OCD/psychosis, I also have to make differential dx on OCD/sociopathy, violent thoughts, etc., OCD/pedophilia, pedophilic thoughts, etc. and OCD/homosexuality. In a limited number of cases, I told clients that in my opinion, they did not have OCD but instead had some psychotic disorder, or sociopathic traits, or pedophilia, or that they were homosexuals. Most of this differential dx is pretty straightforward.
I have never had any narcissistic clients, God forbid clients with NPD. One thing nice about working with OCD clients is that they are usually very nice people. Not all of them, mind you. But if they are not nice, there is often some other reason, for instance, Borderline Personality Disorder in an OCD client could possibly make them impossibly vicious, cruel, unstable, not to mention extremely crazy, far crazier than any OCD sufferer ever gets.
OCD by its very nature strikes nice people. The fact that they are so nice, meek and kind is actually one of the main reasons that they have the disorder in the first place! For the most part, only nice people get it, and the nicer you are, the more likely you are to get it. I will leave it at that for the moment and give you a chance to think of why that might be. I know why but it goes beyond the scope of this post at the moment.
But in general, I never even give my opinion on other anxiety disorders or on any mood disorders or personality disorders. I only rarely see clients who have psychotic disorders, and the two that I have seen were already diagnosed. I also very rarely see people with personality disorders, and the few that I have seen were all females with Borderline PD diagnoses. I did see one woman for two sessions with obvious Borderline Personality Disorder, but I had not figured it out yet in the first session, and by the second session, I declined to diagnose her. She has already been diagnosed by a psychiatrist from afar anyway. So apparently I am guilty of failing to dx a Borderline PD client.
The session was about her OCD, not her BPD and she was very nice through the whole session. It would have ruined the whole thing if I told her she had BPD, and I doubt if she would have accepted it anyway. At any rate, I am not allowed to give legal dx’s anyway, so it’s apparently proper for me not to diagnose someone!
That only comes up if there is differential diagnosis. I simply say that I not only can I not legally give these out but that I am not qualified to work with any condition other than OCD, which I can actually work very well with. If they want me to work on their depression or whatever, I tell them that I have no expertise or training in that area so I can guarantee nothing and it would be similar to talking to a friend or family member.
If I were able to give out diagnoses, I think I would simply give them out in most every case. Possibly if it might make a suicidal patient go over the edge, I might decline to give one out. But I will disagree with the clinicians below. In my opinion, physicians and other medical professionals in addition to all licensed clinicians should give out whatever diagnosis is appropriate. I feel it is a moral matter. The patient or client is simply owed a diagnosis on the part of the clinician or MD and I feel it would be remiss of the clinician or MD not to tell the patient what is wrong with them, and I mean everything that is wrong with them.
This is just my personal opinion and I believe there no ethical rules on the subject. Also I respect the clinicians below for not giving out diagnoses in cases where it would not be helpful. I simply feel that this is a case were morals or even the categorical imperative trumps pragmatics or even common sense.

Psychopathology of Serial Murderers

The primary problem with almost all serial killers is simply ASPD, Antisocial Personality Disorder, derived sociopathy or primary psychopathy. It is present in almost 100% of such cases. Most everything else is rather secondary to this primary character disorder, which is the most prominent symptom.
Very rare is the serial killer without this disorder, although there have been a few. I remember a long-distance trucker who turned himself when he walked into a Northern California police station with a woman’s breast in his top shirt pocket. He had camped out in forests while trucking and had picked up women and killed them. He kept the body of one in the truck for three or four days and drove around with it.
Experts said he was quite unusual in that they said he actually felt bad about what he had done. I wonder how bad he really felt though. You could not get me to drive around in a truck with a dead woman in the back for very long. I would go into severe panic pretty fast, would stop the truck, get out and start walking or probably running away. I would not be able to walk around with a woman’s breast in my shirt for long either. I would completely panic almost right away, take the shirt off, throw it on the ground and start running. But then I am a pretty guilty type person with a strong conscience.
Based on that, while I am sure he may have felt some guilt for his killings, the fact that he was able to drive around in a truck with a dead woman in the  back for 3-4 days shows without completely flipping out shows to me that he didn’t feel that much guilt, certainly not on the level that most of us would. And the fact that he could rather calmly walk into a police station with a cut off breast in his pocket without flying into total panic shows to me that he didn’t feel that bad about it. So guilt, even when it is present, is not as strong as in most of us, otherwise they would not have even done such horrible things in the first place.
Sexual sadism is also often present, and I have heard that Sadistic Personality Disorder is very common. Juvenile delinquency, voyeurism, exhibitionism, burglary, prowling, petty thievery, etc. typically precede the serial killings. When the serial killer starts killing, he usually has a fairly long rap sheet of more minor offenses. The murders are best seen as an escalation of a chronic criminal character type.
The ones who kill children are typically though not always preferential or fixated pedophiles. Certainly the ones who kill only children are preferential pedophiles. There is a type of pedophile called a mysoped, which is a sadistic pedophile. They are not very common. I doubt if 5% of pedophiles are like this, but these people are very dangerous. Probably almost all serial child killers are mysopeds and these crimes often have a sexual basis.
95% of rapists are the type that rarely if ever go serial, but the sadistic rapist, composed of no more than 5% of rapists, is very dangerous. Most if not all rapist serial killers are sadistic rapists.
The rage rapist is dangerous, but he generally does not intend to kill his victim although he assault her. If she fights back or gets difficult, he can fly into a rage and beat her so badly that she dies but again he usually does not intend to kill. I doubt if these types go serial much if at all. Serial killers intend to kill; rage rapists do not.
Malignant narcissism, the disorder, believe it or not, of our wonderful President, is also present sometimes. Ted Bundy was a malignant narcissist. Yes, our wonderful President has the same mental illness as Ted Bundy! Comforting thought.
A few have Schizoid Personality Disorder, and some of the more disturbed ones have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Schizotypal, Paranoid and Narcissistic Personality Disorders are rare if ever seen in serial killers. Schizotypals are probably too disorganized and decompensated and just out and out strange to commit such crimes. The serial killer must blend in, and schizotypals do not do that. A few schizotypals have committed mass murders. James Holmes the Aurora Batman Theater Shooter, was a notable case. But note that he was caught immediately.
Paranoid PD is rarely if ever seen. These people tend to be rather retiring and like to hide away from a hostile world. They also do not like to call attention to themselves from a hostile world. They are suspicious and distrustful by nature and this makes it hard for them to blend in well with ordinary society as serial killers often do.
Narcissists are usually too self-centered to kill. While narcissists are often very mean, the disorder is usually well-controlled in that the rage rarely escalates to homicide. There have been a few cases of NPD’s committing mass murder, usually of their families.
The case of Jeffrey MacDonald, the mass murdering physician of Fatal Vision, seems to be such a case. This is a superb true crime case by the way.
Also narcissists think that if they kill, they will get caught, and if they are in prison or jail they will not be able to live this wonderful life they are supposed to be killing. They are “too cool to kill.” Killing would mess up all their wonderful plans to exploit others and hold them up to contempt by millions of people, which the narcissist would have a hard time taking. The narcissist is “too good for prison.” Prison would be such a crushing blow to their self-image that it would very hard to take.
However, malignant narcissists can be very dangerous because this is a combination of psychopathy, sadism, Paranoid PD and Narcissistic PD. When you weaponize NPD with paranoia, sadism and particularly psychopathy, you create a dangerous illness.
Cluster C Personality Disorders like Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder, Self-Defeating Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder are rarely if ever present in these types. These are PD’s where aggression is mostly displayed passively, and serial killers display aggression actively, not passively.
Mood disorders do not seem to be common. Bipolar Disorder is not common, and serial killers are rarely if ever depressed. They displace guilt and loathing outwards instead of pushing it inside of themselves as depressives do. Depressives are passive, and depression acts as sort of a freezing agent in that it tends to immobilize people by its nature. Men in general tend to either experience less depression than women or mask it with other things such as anger and rage, drinking, drugs, gambling, promiscuity or even workaholism. It is simply not acceptable as a man to be depressed, so depressed men simply channel their depression into other things and say they are not depressed, they are just drunks or workaholics, for instance.
Substance and alcohol abuse issues are quite common with serial killers, but the better ones are more sober, as drinkers and dopers tend to be scattered and unreliable and serial killers must be on the ball  24-7.
Only a few are psychotic. 2% of serial killers are psychotic. Psychotic people can barely organize a trip to the bathroom. How are they going to plot out elaborate and professional serial homicides?
They are motivated by many things, but your typical rape-murders of murders of attractive young women almost always have a sexual component. I would call these serial killings lust murders. The Germans coined the term. Even among the lust-murders, there are a number of different types. Some are motivated by purely sexual desires, others get off specifically on killing and the power gained from it, others are hunter types who get pleasure from the hunt and chase as if they were hunting an animal, which they are of course, but when we refer to hunters, we are always talking about hunters of non-human animals.

What Attracts Women

I will go through these one by one here:

  1. Hypergamy
  2. Women’s dishonesty about what they’re attracted to being biologically hardwired because of them wanting one man to beta provide and another man to fuck her.
  3. Looks = Personality. Your personality and behavior are largely dictated by uncontrollable factors (how people reacted to you during upbringing, hormonal profile during puberty, your background, etc.).
  4. Social life and hence status being extremely affected by the way one looks.
  5. Men being more productive and contributing more to society and to general development throughout history, and how marriage and monogamy in the old days was a way to control and make sure that every man got his needs met and hence contributed to society. Basically one can easily conclude that female to male choice-based mating selection is very bad for society overall.

Let’s start with 1 first.

Hypergamy

Yep, females are hypergamous by nature. The Blue Pillers, feminists, male feminists, etc. are absolutely furious about this notion. They say it’s all a great big lie. Are they really that clueless?

Female hypergamy is real. It is also a big problem if unleashed. In order to keep it at least manageable (because you can never get rid of it altogether), institutions such as marriage with enforced monogamy are devised so you can have a halfway civilized society and restrain female hypergamy significantly.

Women’s dishonesty about what they’re attracted to being biologically hardwired because of them wanting one man to beta provide and another man to fuck her.

Yep. Women lie about what they want. They lie about what turns them on. They lie about a thousand things. Why they lie so much, I have no idea, but I suspect that women don’t even know what they want or what turns them on either.

I do not agree with women wanting one man to be a Beta provider and another to provide stud service. Ideally, I think most women would like to marry Chad, tame him so he’s monogamous, and hopefully have Monogamous Chad Dream Man be a great provider for her so she doesn’t need to settle with a Beta as a provider.

You will notice that women’s romance novels are typically about this totally unrealistic dream man who is this hunky male model stud who is a man’s man, masculine as can be but at the same time sensitive, loving, and kind, who has women after him all the time but settles down with the heroine after she tames him.

My mother notes that the male heroes of romance novels are men that more or less do not even exist in real life. So women’s dream men are so fantastical that they probably don’t even exist. They’re pining for nonexistent entities!

The problem that Alphas are often lousy providers. Many Alphas are not employed. A lot of others work in the criminal economy, often selling drugs, etc. A surprising number work at low paying jobs and continue to live in cheap apartments and drive old cars into middle age. A stunning number of Alphas are in jails and prisons. Many Alphas spend most of their life essentially living off women in exchange for providing what boils down to gigolo service.

Even if a woman could pin Chad into a long term relationship or marriage, Chad makes a lousy boyfriend and an even lousier husband. He tends to be an incorrigible cheater, among other things. He is at least a little bit narcissistic/sociopathic, he is typically vain, conceited, and egotistical and is often rather short on empathy. In other words, Chad is an asshole.

So women don’t need a Beta provider. They need a provider, period. Chad would be the #1 pick of course, but he’s not available, so she settles for Mr. Beta with the good job as a provider. But now she still needs Chad for sex. What’s a lady to do?

Looks = Personality, your personality and behavior are largely dictated by uncontrollable factors (how people reacted to you during upbringing, hormonal profile during puberty, your background etc).

This is very sad, but there is probably a lot to it. I do not think we are doomed by what happened to us in junior and senior high school, but those experiences are so important that it is hard to overlook them. While no one has a set in stone lousy personality, we all have a certain personality type, and it is set by the end of adolescence.

There is a healthy and unhealthy side of each personality type. Even the Sociopath has a healthy mirror image called Aggressive Personality. The Borderline has Sensitive Personality. The Dependent has Loyal Personality. The Narcissist has Confident Personality. And so on.

A man with good looks often has so many great experiences during these formative years that he ends up with a nice personality pretty much locked in place by the time adolescence is over. The man who had a rocky road all through middle and late school years has a huge hurdle to overcome in transcending these traumas and becoming healthy.

Social life and hence status being extremely affected by the way one looks.

This is sad as Hell too, but there is probably a lot to it. People need to consider that when they see people with great/poor social skills and high/low status that quite a bit of how high someone scores on those variables may be due to uncontrollable factors like looks.

Men being much more productive and contributing much more to society and to general development throughout history, and how marriage and monogamy in the old days was a way to control and make sure that every man got his needs met and hence contributed to society. Basically one can easily conclude that female to male choice based mating selection is very bad for society overall.

Women are not going to like this one. But I would agree that men create civilization. There have been periods in history when most of the men left, often to wars, and the society was left with mostly women to run the show. Things fell apart pretty quickly.

Women simply can’t create or run civilizations. They need men to do that for them. Women can help the men run things, but they can’t do it alone. This is quite all right. Women can’t do everything. The sexes tend to need each other.

But since civilizations needed men to create them in the first place and then to run them, marriage and monogamy was a way to control society such that most if not all men got their basic needs met. Once their basic needs were met, these men would be able to do a good job contributing to society. Bottom line is a totally free market in marriage where women’s choices set the tone is probably going to cause all sorts of societal problems, like maybe mass shootings for one.

Two Basic Cluster B Personality Types

Third Eye writes:

I suspect that there’s some significant gender bias as to who gets diagnosed sociopathic and who gets diagnosed borderline. Both types are manipulative, and a calculated display of emotional instability often provides a ready-made excuse for sociopathic behavior. Some “borderlines” (particularly female ones) seem to be sociopaths with a superficial emotional veneer for manipulating others and avoiding accountability.

Really what it seems is that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the male component to Borderline Personality Disorder. The females get Borderline; the males get Narcissistic.
On the other hand, Borderlines and narcissists do tend to act quite a bit differently. I think narcissists are a lot more functional. Quite a few borderlines are so nuts that they are pretty much disabled and can hardly even work. I have never heard of a narcissist disabled like that.
Calculated emotional displays seem more in line with the sociopath and the narcissist. Borderlines can be calculating and wicked, but their emotional stuff mostly seems genuine and not faked. They truly are emotionally out of control, and this is the way they like to be.
I think borderlines and narcissists are one condition that simply manifests differently in the two genders due to gender differences, some of them biological.
That said, there are female narcissists (very annoying and some are even evil), and there are definitely male borderlines. Male borderlines are very bad. Many are in jail or prison. They have a high rate of homosexuality and bisexuality, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, etc. They can be quite violent and out of control. You really do not want to meet a male borderline. They are no good.
Yes, there are more male sociopaths than female sociopaths. I am not sure what a female sociopath even looks like, but I have seen some online, and they seem pretty evil. They are probably not as dangerous as the males.
The true component of male sociopathy would be Histrionic Personality Disorder. HPD is the female version of the sociopath. It is pretty common, but I am not sure if I ever met one. They are very abusive. The classic HPD personality is “the whore.” Prostitutes, porn stars, strippers, etc. have high rates of HPD. The HPD archetype is the “femme fatale.” The spy Mata Hari was the classic femme fatale and a possible HPD.
Male histrionics are not common, but as you might guess, they have very high rates of homosexuality and bisexuality. This is the dramatic, flamboyant, manipulative, crafty, shallow, promiscuous, gaudy, showy, greedy homosexual type we all know well. Not that all gay men are like this; of course they are not, but most of us would recognize the “type” above as a well-known gay male “type” along the gay male personality spectrum.
Histrionics and narcissists are quite common in the acting profession as you might guess, especially narcissists. Hollywood probably has more narcissists per capita than anywhere else on Earth. In fact, I think most actors and rock star types (especially lead singers) tend to be narcissistic. Their narcissism is often the reason for their oft-noted screwed up lives. A Hollywood marriage is often two narcissistic actors. Narcissists love themselves only. These marriages do not have a long life expectancy.
There is a joke where the journalist is interviewing an actor, and the actor says, “Well! Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What did you think of my last movie?”
See?
What you have here is two basic personality types:
A Borderline/Narcissistic type which will manifest as borderline in the female and narcissist in the male.
A Sociopath/Histrionic type which will manifest as sociopath in the male and histrionic in the female.

Borderline Personality Disorder Versus Sociopathy

Herehere and lots of other places.
There are definitely some major differences, and a Borderline Personality Disorder is generally not the same thing as a sociopath, but there is also some overlap. In fact, I would say there is overlap between all of these horrific Cluster B types.
Sociopathy and BPD can occur in the same individual. One of Jeffrey Dahmer’s diagnoses was BPD with sociopathic traits, among other things.
Horrifically violent people need not be sociopaths, though they often are. Some men who slaughtered their entire families – wives and children – had such diagnoses as Obsessive Compulsive PD and Narcissistic PD.
One serial killer, a long-haul trucker who was roaming around northern California, was said to be unusual in that he was not a sociopath. This was the guy who hacked a woman’s breast off and walked into a police station with her tit in his pocket to confess. Forget his name.

Female Prisoner Too Violent to Ever Be Let Out

Here.
She obviously gets some sort of a DSM diagnosis.
So what do we give her? Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopath)? I am not so sure about that due to all the self-harm, although she is vicious. Since when do sociopaths display all this self harm? Sociopaths hurt others, not themselves, and they only kill themselves when the jig is up. They commit suicide to avoid arrest or in prison to avoid the pain of imprisonment, but only rarely in other cases, though some get alcoholic, depressed and suicidal in middle age as the sociopathy starts to burn itself out. I think she has some psychopathic traits though and would score fairly high on Hare PC-L test.
She mostly looks like a Borderline. Borderlines can be quite violent, even female borderlines. And borderlines are notorious for horrific self-harm, suicide threats and suicide attempts. They are not usually this violent though. This crazy bitch has murdered a fellow inmate and attacked guards several times, carving up one’s cheek.
Is there a syndrome called Borderline-Sociopath or Sociopathic Borderline? If there is, she might be something like that.
Whatever she is, she sure is awful evil for a female. Females are not usually this bad. Females can be evil, but their evil is more annoying and infuriating than dangerous. Male evil is much worse because it is menacing, violent, dangerous and homicidal. I have dealt with some evil females in my life and while I wanted to kill most of them at the time, obviously I never did it or even tried or plotted. On the other hand, none of them were really dangerous to me. They were just trying to be as infuriating as possible to provoke the maximum possible violent and crazed reaction from me. I call it “trying to get murdered.”
I will take female evil over male evil any day though. Evil men are terrifying. Evil men have tried to kill me, and I say that with all seriousness. I have had scenes with evil males where it was literally kill or be killed. “I either try to kill these guys, or do nothing and let them kill me.” Others have not tried to kill me but instead beat me very badly, even with heavy objects.
As long as humans are not physically dangerous, they can sort of be tolerated no matter how wicked they are. But violence and the threat of injury or death via attack is a whole other matter.
 

Threat Assessment in OCD

This is an excellent article.
Examples of obsessions:

Examples of normal intrusive thoughts include the image of touching the genitalia of a child, worry (in the absence of any evidence) as to whether one had caused an accident on the way home, urges or impulses to attack a loved one with a kitchen knife, or thoughts and images of jumping onto a railway track in front of an oncoming train.

That is a pretty good list, and the author points out that 80% of the population report having these thoughts also.

The risk is that the patient will act on an obsession (e.g. suicide or sexual acts with a child) or impulsively act out an obsessional fear. At its simplest, this need never be a concern: there are no recorded cases of a person with OCD carrying out their obsession. By definition, such intrusions are unacceptable and ego-dystonic, and the person is no more likely to act on their intrusions than a person with height phobia is to jump off a tall building. The obsession represents a type of fear or worry that the patient does not want to happen; like all fears or worries, it concerns ideas that the patient wishes to avert at all costs.

That seems to be correct, however, when the illness gets severe, the person can become convinced that they actually want to carry out these acts. I have spoken to quite a few people with OCD who told me that the illness made them feel like they wanted to have gay sex or have sex with children or assault and murder people. This is probably correct though in that people with OCD do not act on their obsessions. I have not met one person who acted on an obsession of causing harm to themselves or others, or how did anything sexual to a child in response to an obsession.
However, there are cases of people with gay OCD who get so convinced that they are gay that they go out and have sex with someone of the same sex. Usually this is a complete disaster and I would not advise it.
There are also cases of people with Relationship OCD who have left their partners or spouses. Generally, this does not solve the ROCD dilemma.

Where compulsions are concerned, urges that are themselves obsessions need to be distinguished from urges arising as responses to obsessions. Once this is done, the risks are relatively obvious. Thus, if someone has an obsessional fear of cutting themselves, you can be very certain that they will not harm themselves.
However, if the idea of harming others is the obsession, they might respond by cutting themselves rather than harming someone they love. Secondary risks are often subtle. For example, a parent who is constantly preoccupied with their obsessions may become less responsive and emotionally available to their children.

This is interesting. I have dealt with a few OCD’ers who cut themselves. All were women.
The next part goes into differentiating Sexual OCD from the type of thinking that goes on in a sex offender.

OCD or potential sexual offender?
Various factors differentiate the intrusive sexual thoughts of people with OCD from those of sexual offenders

  • Ego-dystonicity of the thoughts
  • Failure to act on or masturbate to the thoughts
  • Avoidance of trigger situations
  • Efforts to suppress the thoughts
  • Very frequent or constant occurrence of the thoughts
  • Dominant anxiety, distress and guilt about the thoughts
  • Overdisclosure of irrelevant past sexual history
  • Wanting help and seeking referral to mental health services
  • Presence of additional obsessive–compulsive symptoms

That is a pretty good list.
Assuming that in a sex offender, we are dealing with some sort of a paraphilia, I had one OCD’er who had obsessive thoughts of slitting his father’s throat. He was terrified that he was going to act on these thoughts and that he got some sort of sexual arousal out of them. His therapist told him that this was OCD, and that paraphilias are “about desire, not fear,” and “no resistance.” This is about right. I would expect to see little to no resistance in a paraphilia. OCD is a problem of fear and paraphilia is a problem of desire.
You are also looking at something that is occurring all or almost all of the time. If it is, it is likely you are dealing with an obsession. With paraphilias, they are much less likely to be going all the time, and when they are frequent, the person is likely to be fantasizing.
The anxiety, distress and guilt over the thoughts is often profound. I have had quite a few OCD’ers tell me that they were crying for hours on end, either could not sleep or were lying in bed all day or had even lost weight due to not eating. It is quite common for them to say that they are suicidal; however, OCD’ers usually do not attempt or commit suicide. I have only had OCD’er who attempted suicide and she tried twice.
Presence of another disorder like Borderline Personality Disorder is likely to greatly increase the risk of suicidality. In such cases, the suicidality is likely due to the BPD and not the OCD. It is curious that OCD’ers are so commonly suicidal but they rarely attempt or carry it out. The OCD’er is a shy, almost meek person whose dominant emotion is fear or even terror. Quite simply, they are too scared of dying to kill themselves, so the fear associated with suicide prevents them from carrying out the act. In contrast, a violent of sexual offender is likely to see the thoughts as fun or enjoyable, though sometimes they feel guilty for enjoying them so much.
Wanting help is a great one. When someone comes to me on the brink of suicide due to their “horrible pedo thoughts that popped up out of the blue,” I am quite certain that this person is not a pedophile. I have only have one pedophile come to me in all the time I have worked with OCD’ers, and he went away pretty quickly. In contrast, sex offenders or pedophiles will rarely show up for help. One man who was interested in working with pedophiles as a career was told that unless he was working in a prison setting, he would never see one in clinical practice.
Resistance is the hallmark of OCD. George Winokur, a famous psychiatrist, said, “Look at how hard the person fights the thoughts. That is a clue to whether you are dealing with OCD or with something else.”
Another interesting thing you will see is checking. So the person with pedophile thoughts will constantly conjure up pedo thoughts and then examine their reaction to them to see if they are properly horrified. A person with gay thoughts tests himself to see whether or not he finds gay sex repulsive. A person with violent thoughts frequently conjures up violent thoughts or scenarios to check to see if they are actually repulsed by them or if they are repulsed by them enough. Sometimes the thought or image must be repeated over and over until the person finally feels that they have obtained the “right” level of disgust. You will see much less resistance in paraphilias; in fact, typically, there is none.
Failure to masturbate to the thoughts is not a great checkpoint, as I have had quite a few folks who were masturbating to pedo thoughts as a way of checking to see if they were turned on by this sort of thing. In the paraphilias, the person masturbates, often compulsively, to the imagery of the paraphilia, pedophilic, sadomasochistic or other fantasies or pornography. They get great pleasure out of this, and they generally do not want to stop.
Ego-dystonic is excellent. Paraphilias are much more likely to be ego-syntonic. Although this one is a bit tricky, and the OCD will often argue with the person and tell them that they actually like the thoughts when they do not. This leads to a lot of confusion over whether they enjoy the thoughts or not.

They will avoid trigger situations.
Harm OCD’ers will avoid other people or avoid weapons, heights or pill bottles if they worry about self-harm. Pedophile OCD’ers will avoid children like the plague. Gay OCD’ers will avoid anything to do with gay people. Sometimes they avoid their own sex or even the opposite sex. In contrast, many pedophiles will actively seek out places where children are present.
Overdisclosure of irrelevant past. Many times, those with pedophile worries will reveal all sorts of incidents in their childhood past that they feel prove that they are pedophiles. Usually this is just harmless child sex play of the sort that all children engage in. A Harm OCD’er will reveal incidents in his past in which he was violent in order to prove that he is a murderer. Usually this sort of thing is sort of a back-checking and doubting sort of thing in which the mind is trying to come up with reasons why the obsession is true. In contrast, a sex offender will often hide their past due to fears of being caught.
Presence of other OCD symptoms. This is an excellent clue that you are dealing with OCD, and I use it often when I am trying to figure out if I am dealing with OCD or something else. With a sex offender, usually you will not find any OCD.

Factors suggesting OCD in thoughts of violence

  1. Ego-dystonicity
  2. Absence of past behavior consistent with the thought
  3. Presence of avoidance behavior (e.g. avoidance of knives or sharp implements)
  4. Frequent thoughts
  5. High degree of distress
  6. Strong motivation to seek help

The ego-dystonic nature of violent thoughts is often profound, and the resistance provoked by them is often extreme. In contrast, real violent thoughts are typically ego-syntonic and are quite pleasant to the person.
Absence of past violent behavior. The Harm OCD’er is typically a very nice, kind, sweet and gentle person – the last sort of person you would think would do such a thing. They typically have little violence in their past, certainly little violent crime or unprovoked attacks on innocents.
Presence of avoidance behavior. The Harm OCD’er is often afraid of knives, weapons, etc. and tries to put them away or hide them. In contrast, a violent person may be quite comfortable with weapons.
Frequent thoughts. When the violent thoughts are going all the time like a broken record, you may be dealing with OCD. Violent people do not necessarily think violent thoughts all the time. Instead they only think them some of the time.
High degree of distress. Harm thoughts provoke severe anxiety. Some people hospitalize themselves to avoid hurting other people. I talked to one woman who had been in a hospital for four years with Harm OCD. In contrast, violent people tend to like their violent thoughts and they think them anytime they want to with great pleasure.
An OCD’er with Harm OCD told me that they went to a forum for psychopaths and asked them about the harm thoughts that he was experiencing and whether they experienced the same thoughts. The sociopaths were mystified that the man felt the thoughts were abhorrent. One of them said, “Actually, one of the few things I like to think about is hurting people and killing people.” The rest of the sociopaths all endorsed that statement. Dangerous people like to think violent thoughts; they get kicks out of it.
Strong motivation to seek help. The OCD’er is panicked over is violent thoughts and desperately wants to be rid of them. By contrast, a truly violent person likes to feel violent and doesn’t want to feel any other way. I have not yet had a truly violent person come to me wanting help with violent thoughts so they don’t carry them out.
I had one homicidal person, but they very much wanted to feel that way, and there was nothing I could do to talk them out of it. The whole problem with this sort of thing is that the people who are actually going to carry out violent and sexual offenses, the people who are really going to do these things – well, they never show up. Instead the only ones clinicians see are the people who are never going to act on any of this stuff.
Resistance. I would add this one to the list. Violent thoughts often provoke furious resistance in an attempt to keep them out of the head. In contrast, someone who is actually going to carry out an unprovoked act of violence against an innocent person spends little if any time resisting thoughts. One Harm OCD’er was afraid he was a serial killer, but he had never committed any violent acts along those lines.
He asked his therapist, “What about a person who actually does these things? Do they ever try to stop the thoughts?”
“No.”
“Not even once.”
“No, not even once, of course not.”
So resistance or the lack of it really is a good marker for OCD versus something else.
Therapists often make OCD worse in various ways. Here are some of the ways that they can make it worse.

Examples of patients’ comments regarding their assessments
‘He gave me a differential diagnosis which made me panic as it increased my doubts about whether I did have OCD.’
‘She said that, to be on the safe side, it would be better if I avoided working with children until I had received treatment.’
‘He said SSRI’s might reduce my sexual urges so I assumed he must think there was a problem.’
‘She said I was unlikely to act out any urges but she was still obliged to notify Social Services.’
‘He implied I might have an unconscious wish to stab my baby.’
‘He said it was extremely rare for such thoughts to mean that someone was dangerous, but if I was still worried, I could go for a specialist assessment at the sexual offenders unit.’
‘She said it was very rare for this type of violent thought to lead people to act on it, but “as you obviously have a problem dealing with anger, then therapy would be a good idea”.’

There is no point in saying any of these things, and I try very hard not to make OCD’ers worse when I deal with them.

References

Veale, David; Freeston, Mark; Krebs, Georgina; Heyman, Isobel and Salkovskis, Paul. 2009. Risk Assessment and Management in Obsessive–compulsive Disorder. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment 15: 332-343

Crazy Women Ahoy, Pull Up the Anchor and Leave

Repost from the old site.
Ah, crazy women! I suppose if I were really nuts, I would not mind a crazy woman. After all, I would probably deserve her, right? Sad thing is, I am hopelessly prejudiced against crazy women. I don’t like em. I discriminate.
I also require that all females be no more than 10% overweight, and in my age bracket, that rules out most of the females. So I don’t really date that much these days, but hey, at least I have pride, dammit.
Women find out I am fat-prejudiced, and they go nuts, I mean ballistic. Beggars can’t be choosers and all that. Hey, look, I have to have sex with this creature, so I have to be able to tolerate your unclothed appearance enough to be able to do that, and at 50, it ain’t a walk in the park anymore, baby.
I have enough problems of my own to deal with without crazy women on top of everything else.
I remember this one crazy woman, I broke up with her, and she goes and punches a hole in the wall! Whoa, baby, hold onto your horses! I broke up with you? Hell, you should be happy!
She used to swallow handfuls of acid tabs (like five hits at once) when we went out on dates. She drank like a fish. She would smoke any kind of weed you gave her and probably take any kind of drug too. All her friends were fags, and she specialized in the sickest fags of them all, the ones in Hollywood who loved masochism.
She regaled me with their tales of how these guys require welts raised two or three inches before they were satisfied. Her idea of a good time was going to an LA fag bar. That was what she did most of the time, as she was almost a full-time fag hag. She also had straight boyfriends, apparently, as she did like men and sex. Going to an LA gay bar is not my idea of a good time.
One night she was drinking like a maniac, and she grabbed four or five tricyclic antidepressants and tossed them down. I protested, and she cried out that this was all of the misery that she was in. So she was deeply psychiatrically ill, as you can see. Diagnosis: borderline schizophrenia, which nowadays goes to Borderline Personality Disorder for the most part.
She had a weird way of talking, and when we would go out, it seemed that she would act so crazy and weird in public that I would be embarrassed to even be seen with her. She spoke in weird metaphors, and it really started annoying me. I’m kind of like neurotic, staring off into space like a weirdo nuts, but I’m not stark raving acting out bats like that. Forget it.
I told her, “Hey, look, you are just too nuts for me,” and she freaks. I wonder if she is still alive.
She was also quite a masochist as far as sex went, but I could not really get into that too much. Anyway, most females are like that to some degree or another, let’s face it. It goes hand in hand with being female.
She was always telling me about stories where she was meeting guys who would pull knives on her, rape her, threaten to kill her, torture her, etc. One time it was a whole group of guys and she gangbanged them all. Whopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Except they were all pulling knives on her and trying to torture her and threatening to kill her at the time.
She was quite proud of her gangbanging experience, but my best friends heard about it and were totally freaked out and appalled, saying she was a disgusting slut pig whore. That was true, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing in a female. In fact, one could knock on my door right now and even at age 50, I might not even mind too much.
She also liked women a little bit, but only a little. She really loved young boys, as she called them, and delighted in having sex with teenage boys, especially around 13 years old. Her Mom was schizophrenic and had tried to stab her to death in her sleep when she was a little girl, and I guess it was all downhill from then on.
She had all these weird seemingly different personalities that she would fade in and out of all the time. Now, I’m into channeling myself, but this sort of thing really ought to be controlled in order to work best, otherwise you just seem like a street person or a potential maniac.
Later she accused my best friend of hitting a baby in the EEG lab where he worked. According to everyone else, it never even happened, but she insisted and insisted. I think maybe they fired her, but I forget.
I saw her once later, she came over to my house in the daytime, and you know how that goes. I was 27 years old, graduated USC with post-BA degree, teaching school full-time, smoking lots of dope, going nuts.
The culmination of the sex act on my end left her all pissed off, but I thought it was funny that when I kissed her goodbye at the car, I swear some of the middle aged neighbor ladies were laughing and smiling and giving me the thumbs up?
One housewife even sneaked outside and gave me a great big beaming smile. Who says women don’t like guys who score?
Women ain’t all bad.

Nice Sid Vicious Montage

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-fsf8cHiLU&feature=related]
Tracks are Black Leather by the Professionals and Here We Go Again by the Sex Pistols. Sid Vicious was a complete asshole, but I love him anyway. He embodied the punk spirit very well. I still miss him.
The story of the love affair between Sid and Nancy Spungeon is a sad one. After the Pistols broke up, Sid and Nancy moved to the Chelsea Hotel in New York and Sid tried to get his career going. They were both very heavily into drugs, in particular opiates and heroin.
Nancy was found dead in Sid’s place with a single stab wound to the abdomen. Sid said he awoke from a drug stupor to find her dead in the bathroom. He gave conflicted reports at booking, claiming that he did it, then claiming that she fell on the knife, then saying that he loved her but she treated him like crap. They fought all the time and were both totally strung out on drugs.
There are other stories claiming that a heroin dealer killed Nancy that night. Rockets Redglare is sometimes named as the killer. A dealer, he had delivered heroin to them that night. Another dealer was supposed to come over later. Redglare said he thought that that dealer had tried to rip off the drugs from them while Sid was passed out and ended up getting into it with Nancy.
Surely the world of heroin dealers and heroin users in New York City is a sleazy one and ripoffs no doubt go down all the time. Most heroin addicts are after all thieves themselves. I would probably trust your average heroin dealer about as far as I could throw them.
However, Nancy was stabbed with Sid’s very own knife.
This mystery will probably never be solved.
Redglare died in his early 50’s from a lifetime of drug abuse. His liver and kidneys were shot. He was an interesting person, and a movie about him has recently been made.
Nancy Spungeon was a very mixed up person. A beautiful young Jewish woman, dead at age 20. At age 15, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia, but that can’t be correct. Borderline Personality Disorder is more like it. She was despised by the rest of the band for her unpleasant and abusive behavior.
Sid was arrested for Nancy’s murder. Soon after, he attempted suicide by slitting his wrists.
Four months later, there was a gathering celebrating Sid’s being released on bail. Sid’s Mom (!) sent him some heroin, although he had been clean for some time. Sid had began using drugs as a boy when he took up using speed with his speed using Mom.
Sid shot the heroin that night in three doses. It was nearly pure heroin. He passed out with his new girlfriend and was found dead the next morning of heroin overdose.
This very strange and sad story was immortalized in a move called Sid and Nancy, which is highly recommended.

Just Kill Yourself and Get it Over With

Seriously, you sick bitch.
Borderline personality disorder, apparently. She’s a cutter.
I knew some cutters once. They actually formed a club called Oakhurst Cutters. Bunch of stupid, sick, fucked up young White women. She told us that at a table with a bunch of other people and started laughing. I stood up, pointed at her, told her she was a sick bitch, and walked away. In modern society, that’s considered impolite. I think it’s impolite to use your own living body as a med school cadaver, sorry.
Why don’t we just line these people up and shoot them and get it over with? I’m not serious, but that’s what I often think about these BPD types. Just line em up and shoot em!
 

The 50 Craziest Rock Stars Ever

Here.
This article is pretty damn funny.
A lot of rockers are or were seriously nuts!
I’m having a hard time figuring out dx’s for a lot of these people. It seems to be something towards the more extroverted end. I suspect a lot of them are acting this way on purpose, sort of like a lot of artists act “deliberately insane.”
I only see a few who were obviously psychotic: Syd Barrett, Peter Green, Roky Erikson, Brian Wilson, Jim Gordon and Skip Spence for starters. I’m familiar with all these cases. They all had schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It’s commonly said that they are all drug burnouts, but I doubt it.
For one thing, LSD does not appear to cause permanent psychosis. I’ve known too many completely normal folks who have taken it 100-300 times. It’s not even proven to damage your brain. The worst that can be said about it is that very heavy users sometimes do go psychotic and have to be hospitalized. Typically, they get better, but they often go back to heavy LSD use and become mentally ill again. No one has any idea how LSD even makes you temporarily insane.
All of these people simply developed schizophrenia. LSD can trigger schizophrenia, but no one knows how that works either. LSD-induced schizophrenia looks just like the rest of schizophrenia and it responds to the same drugs too. Since acid doesn’t damage your brain, I can’t see how it could cause schizophrenia. There are good reasons not to do acid, but fear of being permanently mentally ill is not one of them.
For the rest of them, dx’s are difficult. Some seem to have issues with narcissism and borderline personality disorder. Some were just seriously whacked out on booze and dope, often cocaine and/or heroin.
Ike Turner used cocaine for some 45 years until it killed him at age 76.
Sly Stone spent years on cocaine, even living on the streets smoking a crack pipe. No one quite knows what is up with Sly these days. He shows up at occasional performance, acts very strange, walks off stage in mid-show, gets on his motorcycle and rides away.
Rick James spent a good 15 years on a crack pipe.
Whitney Houston is ruined and is heavy into cocaine.
David Bowie went nuts on coke in the 1970’s, became full-blown psychotic and embraced Nazism.
Ol’ Dirty Bastard is on crack.
John Frusciante almost killed himself on heroin and coke.
Ozzy Osborne, Jerry Lee Lewis and Liza Minnelli were alcoholics.
Keith Moon was a drunk and a pillhead who liked to blow up toilets with dynamite for fun.
Elvis was a hardcore pillhead who apparently went insane from all the tablets.
Arthur Lee of Love spent 20 years abusing drugs heavily, became homeless, set buildings on fire and shot up his neighbor’s house.
Carlos Santana used acid heavily, then 20 years ago met up with an angel named Metatron who looks like Santa Claus who has been guiding his life ever since. He communicates with Miles Davis, a dead person, on a regular basis.
Miles Davis (while he was alive and not talking to Santana) spent years shooting heroin, beating his wife and just acting weird.
Little Richard spent years binging on cocaine, having sex orgies and sucking cocks in men’s restrooms.
James Taylor was a depressive and a heroin addict.
Some were suicidal.
Wendy O Williams sawed instruments in half with a chainsaw, then retired and blew her brains out.
Ian Curtis recorded some of the most depressing music ever made, then hung himself on the night of his US tour.
Adam Ant is a depressive.
Mariah Carey assaulted staff and reporters and slit her wrists.
Some like Courtney Love and Britney Spears simply cannot seem to function as adults.
Sinéad O’Connor is just a kook.
Lou Reed’s main problem is that he’s a terminal asshole.
R. Keely is just a weirdo with a taste for underage girls.
Sid Vicious assaulted fans, carved up his chest onstage, murdered his girlfriend, then OD’d on heroin as a grand finale.
Jaz Coleman, George Clinton, Captain Beefheart and Julian Cope are unclassifiable.
No one knows what’s up with Sun Ra.
GG Allin was just nuts, dx’d as narcissistic, Borderline PD and masochistic.
Michael Jackson was one of the weirdest of all. No one seems to know what was wrong with him. He seems to have been a homosexual pedophile. I’m familiar with most of his weird antics, but I never knew that he said he had fathered 2 “Aryan” babes named Prince 1 and Prince 2. Weird!
Just because you aren’t psychotic (and most of these folks are not) doesn’t mean you’re not nuts. You can be plenty nuts without being psychotic, plenty.

Sexmaniacman On Borderline and Schizotypal PD

Repost from the old site.

A commenter notes:

Schizotypal was always the odd-man-out personality disorder — both literally and figuratively.

Sexmaniacman thinks he had a gf once who was both a Borderline and a Schizotypal:

Hi Bob, this chick was so nuts, man, oh man oh man. She had a dx of “Borderline Schizophrenia” and was a serious acidhead.

She proudly said, “I’ve always been crazy.” Her Mom was schizophrenic and had tried to stab her in the back and kill her when she was 4 years old. Her life was desolate, and she would move back and forth between all these different personalities that you could not keep track of.

She lived in Hollywood, was a fag hag and was always getting picked up by guys and abused. She let groups of guys gangbang her and all sorts of crazy shit. She was always telling stories about guys or groups of guys picking her up, tying her up, torturing her, having sex with her, and threatening to murder her.

The stories seemed almost too weird to be true, but she was an extreme submissive who obviously was giving off “hurt me” vibes that a lot of sicko dudes might have picked up on and acted on.

She was also a bit bi and had sex with women sometimes. But she liked young girls, like 14 years old! Whoa! She also liked young boys, like 13 years old, and she loved to entertain me with stories about breaking in 8th graders. She was an old pro at this. I thought it was just plain weird.

We were going to go a lesbian bar in Hollywood and try to pick up a girl to take home with us (that was real easy to do in LA, which is full of all kinds of gays, bis and swingers), but she was so weird, I figured we would never be able to pick up any decent women.

Her idea of a good time was going to a gay bar and hanging out there all nite. I said pass.

She literally ate acid by the handful, five or eight hits at a time.

I took her to a Cure concert and for some weird reason, all these Goth chicks were grabbing me and trying to molest me the whole time at the concert, even when I was with her. While we were walking around, while we were sitting at the concert, the women just wouldn’t leave me alone. The whole thing seems like a hallucination now. It was 1983. She was flying on a handful of acid.

I took her to see Pink Flamingos, we watched Divine eat dog shit off sidewalk, and she thought that was hilarious. We went to see The Story of O, which I thought was weird, but she insisted was the story of her life.

She kept wanting me to inflict pain on her in all these different ways (A LOT of women are into pain! Is that weird or what?) but I wasn’t really into being a sadist too much. I did inflict some pain on her, but I didn’t really enjoy it. She sure did! Damn right! But it was the weirdest joy, a joy in a bottomless sadness. I couldn’t relate.

We went at forever, and she was a real screamer. One night she turned me in the middle and said, “You know what, Sexman?”

“What?”

“You’re a good fuck.” She repeated that a few times.

I’d just been turned into a complete sex object by a woman, and I didn’t even care.

I’d leave her place at the end of the weekend. Her Hollywood apartment complex was full of all these Guatemalan and Mexican illegal aliens. It was 1984 and the invasion was well under way. I guess the guys had been listening to her sexual opera performance all weekend because as I walked out, the Hispanic guys would all stand up and start clapping for me and raising their beers.

Cheers to the Master Fucker! She would drink, take acid, smoke pot, do speed, and then grab a bottle of antidepressants and start taking pills and downing them with a glass of booze.

“Whoa!” I said. “What do you think you’re doing!”

“You don’t know the pain I’m in Sexguy,” she whimpered and started crying. “You have no idea what it’s like. I need this, Sexdude.”

I shrugged and hoped she didn’t die on my watch. Who wants to deal with a dead chick and cops?

She was schizotypal in that she used language in really weird ways, and even though she insisted she had all these friends, she seemed really isolated. Plus she was just flat-out fucking weird in a way that Borderlines simply are not. Like she was on another planet, an alien. Invariably, she accused me of being a fag too for some reason like all of her faggot friends, and that pissed me off.

I will say she had more insight into my personality at the time than most other women have ever had.

She used to regale me with stories about her gay friends. Her gay friends were all these seriously weird masochist dudes into the leather scene.

Her eyes got really wide.

“My friend Jim, he’s not satisfied until the welts are this big.”

That’s one of her sicko masochist gay friends. Every time she talked about them, I told her to shut up as she was grossing me out.

She stretched her fingers to make about a one inch measurement. In her eyes, she was trying to shock me and I know it turns her on. She wanted one-inch welts too. Obviously. Like Hell you’re getting ’em from me, you sick bitch, I thought.

She called me one time but I wasn’t home. A woman I knew was over at my place in my absence and answered the phone. “Tell Sexman it’s just me,” she sighed wearily into the phone. “It’s just me. Just V.” Her self-esteem was 80,000 leagues under the sea under an anchor. The woman hung up the phone.

Later the woman said: “That’s the woman you’re dating, Sexguy?”

“Yeah,” I sigh.

“Wow, she seems like she thinks she’s the biggest zero on the face of the Earth. How sad.” The woman shook her head, and an incredible sadness came over her face too, a hundred years’ worth.

“I know.”

I broke up with her.

“Can…you…at least…give me a reason, Sexcat?” V. whimpered into the phone.

“You’re just too nuts for me. I mean, I’m nuts, but I’m neurotic. You’re way more crazy than I am, and I just can’t deal with you. It’s like dealing with someone from another planet. I can’t handle you. Good luck in the rest of your life.”

She called me a few days later, crying.

“After you broke up with me, Sexbro, I put my fist through a wall, I was so mad. Now I have a hole in my wall.”

“Over me? You did this over me? Why? Don’t bother, V. Don’t smash walls over me. I’m not worth it. Smash walls over someone else…Look, I can’t handle this, this is way too nuts.”

I got a new girlfriend, K., pretty soon, and V. had given me VD like most sluts do, something called Trichomonas with no symptoms in the male. I immediately gave it to the new girl, and it causes four days of misery in the female. The new woman was pissed.

I said the only thing you can say when you give your girlfriend VD.

“Hey, don’t ever say I never gave you anything.”

I thought that was pretty funny.

She sure didn’t. Icy eyes shone at my across the room.

“That’s not funny, Sexman.”

“Yeah it is.”

“No it isn’t.”

I saw V. again two years later. She came down to visit me, an hour’s drive. I saw her on my porch like a lost poppy, the most forlorn thing you ever saw. We went inside and had some wild sex for a couple of hours. She got pissed at the way it ended and left in a huff.

I never saw her again.

I assume she’s dead, probably long ago. The way she was, she couldn’t have lasted long.

Sexmaniacman On Borderline and Schizotypal PD

Repost from the old site. The following posts will figure a fellow named Sexmaniacman, who is a friend of mine. He either wrote these posts himself and sent them to me via emails or else I am transcribing them based on conversations he had with me.

A commenter notes on the Personality Disorders

Schizotypal was always the odd-man-out personality disorder — both literally and figuratively.

Sexmaniacman thinks he had a gf once who was both a Borderline and a Schizotypal:

Hi Bob, this chick was so nuts, man, oh man oh man. She had a dx of “Borderline Schizophrenia” and was a serious acidhead.

She proudly said, “I’ve always been crazy.” Her Mom was schizophrenic and had tried to stab her in the back and kill her when she was 4 years old. Her life was desolate, and she would move back and forth between all these different personalities that you could not keep track of.

She lived in Hollywood, was a fag hag and was always getting picked up by guys and abused. She let groups of guys gangbang her and all sorts of crazy shit. She was always telling stories about guys or groups of guys picking her up, tying her up, torturing her, having sex with her, and threatening to murder her.

The stories seemed almost too weird to be true, but she was an extreme submissive who obviously was giving off “hurt me” vibes that a lot of sicko dudes might have picked up on and acted on.

She was also a bit bi and had sex with women sometimes. But she liked young girls, like 14 years old! Whoa! She also liked young boys, like 13 years old, and she loved to entertain me with stories about breaking in 8th graders. She was an old pro at this. I thought it was just plain weird.

We were going to go a lesbian bar in Hollywood and try to pick up a girl to take home with us (that was real easy to do in LA, which is full of all kinds of gays, bis and swingers), but she was so weird, I figured we would never be able to pick up any decent women.

Her idea of a good time was going to a gay bar and hanging out there all nite. I said pass.

She literally ate acid by the handful, five or eight hits at a time.

I took her to a Cure concert and for some weird reason, all these Goth chicks were grabbing me and trying to molest me the whole time at the concert, even when I was with her. While we were walking around, while we were sitting at the concert, the women just wouldn’t leave me alone. The whole thing seems like a hallucination now. It was 1983. She was flying on a handful of acid.

I took her to see Pink Flamingos, we watched Divine eat dog shit off sidewalk, and she thought that was hilarious. We went to see The Story of O, which I thought was weird, but she insisted was the story of her life.

She kept wanting me to inflict pain on her in all these different ways (A LOT of women are into pain! Is that weird or what?) but I wasn’t really into being a sadist too much. I did inflict some pain on her, but I didn’t really enjoy it. She sure did! Damn right! But it was the weirdest joy, a joy in a bottomless sadness. I couldn’t relate.

We went at forever, and she was a real screamer. One night she turned me in the middle and said, “You know what, Sexman?”

“What?”

“You’re a good fuck.” She repeated that a few times.

I’d just been turned into a complete sex object by a woman, and I didn’t even care.

I’d leave her place at the end of the weekend. Her Hollywood apartment complex was full of all these Guatemalan and Mexican illegal aliens. It was 1984 and the invasion was well under way. I guess the guys had been listening to her sexual opera performance all weekend because as I walked out, the Hispanic guys would all stand up and start clapping for me and raising their beers.

Cheers to the Master Fucker! She would drink, take acid, smoke pot, do speed, and then grab a bottle of antidepressants and start taking pills and downing them with a glass of booze.

“Whoa!” I said. “What do you think you’re doing!”

“You don’t know the pain I’m in Sexguy,” she whimpered and started crying. “You have no idea what it’s like. I need this, Sexdude.”

I shrugged and hoped she didn’t die on my watch. Who wants to deal with a dead chick and cops?

She was schizotypal in that she used language in really weird ways, and even though she insisted she had all these friends, she seemed really isolated. Plus she was just flat-out fucking weird in a way that Borderlines simply are not. Like she was on another planet, an alien. Invariably, she accused me of being a fag too for some reason like all of her faggot friends, and that pissed me off.

I will say she had more insight into my personality at the time than most other women have ever had.

She used to regale me with stories about her gay friends. Her gay friends were all these seriously weird masochist dudes into the leather scene.

Her eyes got really wide.

“My friend Jim, he’s not satisfied until the welts are this big.”

That’s one of her sicko masochist gay friends. Every time she talked about them, I told her to shut up as she was grossing me out.

She stretched her fingers to make about a one inch measurement. In her eyes, she was trying to shock me and I know it turns her on. She wanted one-inch welts too. Obviously. Like Hell you’re getting ’em from me, you sick bitch, I thought.

She called me one time but I wasn’t home. A woman I knew was over at my place in my absence and answered the phone. “Tell Sexman it’s just me,” she sighed wearily into the phone. “It’s just me. Just V.” Her self-esteem was 80,000 leagues under the sea under an anchor. The woman hung up the phone.

Later the woman said: “That’s the woman you’re dating, Sexguy?”

“Yeah,” I sigh.

“Wow, she seems like she thinks she’s the biggest zero on the face of the Earth. How sad.” The woman shook her head, and an incredible sadness came over her face too, a hundred years’ worth.

“I know.”

I broke up with her.

“Can…you…at least…give me a reason, Sexcat?” V. whimpered into the phone.

“You’re just too nuts for me. I mean, I’m nuts, but I’m neurotic. You’re way more crazy than I am, and I just can’t deal with you. It’s like dealing with someone from another planet. I can’t handle you. Good luck in the rest of your life.”

She called me a few days later, crying.

“After you broke up with me, Sexbro, I put my fist through a wall, I was so mad. Now I have a hole in my wall.”

“Over me? You did this over me? Why? Don’t bother, V. Don’t smash walls over me. I’m not worth it. Smash walls over someone else…Look, I can’t handle this, this is way too nuts.”

I got a new girlfriend, K., pretty soon, and V. had given me VD like most sluts do, something called Trichomonas with no symptoms in the male. I immediately gave it to the new girl, and it causes four days of misery in the female. The new woman was pissed.

I said the only thing you can say when you give your girlfriend VD.

“Hey, don’t ever say I never gave you anything.”

I thought that was pretty funny.

She sure didn’t. Icy eyes shone at my across the room.

“That’s not funny, Sexman.”

“Yeah it is.”

“No it isn’t.”

I saw V. again two years later. She came down to visit me, an hour’s drive. I saw her on my porch like a lost poppy, the most forlorn thing you ever saw. We went inside and had some wild sex for a couple of hours. She got pissed at the way it ended and left in a huff.

I never saw her again.

I assume she’s dead, probably long ago. The way she was, she couldn’t have lasted long.