Alt Left: The Worst Person on Earth

Elon Musk. No ifs, ands, or butts about it. Actually, Donald Trump, another billionaire – natch – is so much worse, but for the purposes of creative flair, let’s keep the title the same. Besides, he deserves the reverse accolades.

Ok, he’s the second worst person on Earth.

Donald Trump is the worst person on Earth. He is also a narcissistic psychopath, or a malignant narcissist. This personality, the early researchers of which designated it “the closest thing on Earth to ‘pure evil’ to me is “the personality of the dictator.” I believe many dictators, especially the murderous ones, were malignant narcissists. His own father was a psychopath and possibly a malignant narcissist himself. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Got it. Now who’s the third worst person on Earth? Could it be anyone but the Libertarian (obviously – what else could he be) Jeff Bezos?

Bezos, a billionaire, is the richest man on Earth. He is also the third worst man on Earth. His income has doubled in the last year while the economy crashed and burned and the real humans writhed in the burning rubble, mouthing silent screams that no one heard.

Donald Trump, a billionaire,

Elon Musk, a billionaire, is the third richest man on Earth. he is the second worst person on Earth. His income also doubled in the last year in the midst of the worst economic crash since the Great Depression. He is mentally ill. He has Bipolar Disorder. Most of the time he is in the manic or hypomanic phase of the disorder. This is also part of why he is such a huge asshole, as manics are commonly some of the biggest assholes around.

Sometimes I call mania “Asshole Personality Disorder.” Musk also appears to have a serious narcissism problem and he may well have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Of course, mania and narcissism go together. One paper reckoned that everyone in the manic phase of the disorder met criteria for NPD.

Bernard Arnault is the second richest man on Earth. He is a billionaire. I know nothing about him, except that he probably adds very little value to the human race.

Mark Zuckerberg is a billionaire. He is easily the fourth richest man on Earth. Like Musk and Bezos, he is also extremely dangerous. In fact, Musk, Bezos, Trump, and Zuckerberg are probably the four most dangerous men on Earth at the moment. Zuckerberg is the fourth worst person on Earth, though it’s a close call between him and Bezos.

Bill Gates is the fifth richest man on Earth. He’s retired from business, so that means he can’t do any (or much) more damage. Notice when these guys quit the job of making money, they often turn into dramatically better human beings. While he was making money of course, Gates was a complete monster, with a moral compass as cockeyed as Ted Bundy’s.

In fact, I would call Bill Gates the Ted Bundy of the IT industry. He lied to, cheated, stole from and backstabbed everyone who ever had the misfortune of partnering with him (ring a bell with Mr. Trump?).

I doubt if Gates was a psychopath or a malignant narcissist as he seems cured now, and those disorders are incurable if anything is. But he sure acted the part. There is such a thing as “Antisocial Behavior” absent psychopathy. Many criminals fall into this category. Mafioso and their soldiers come to mind. They act terrible but they aren’t really terrible people deep down inside. It’s not that they are bad. It’s more that they act bad. Notice the difference.

Now that he has quit making money and hence has no need to foment evil anymore, Gates has, with the major assistance of his heartfelt wife, turned into a much better person. Has he yet dumped all of his antisocial BS? I’m not sure. But he’s a much better man than he used to be and in some ways, he is indeed a good person, maybe even a very good person.

Notice all it takes to turn a stone evil man into a near-saint? Just stop trying to make money. That’s all it takes. Making money turns you evil, by necessity probably. When you stop making money, the need for the evil behavior evaporates and one is free to act a lot better, assuming you have it in you in the first place. And Gates does.

While we are on the subject of monsters and billionaires, let us discuss…drum roll…Steve Jobs! A true monster among men, testified by everyone who ever worked with him, seconded by his very own long-suffering family. Jobs absolutely had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. One wonders if he was a malignant narcissist too.

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Sorry Folks

Got all wrapped up in the election. Was legitimately so wrapped up in the election that I just couldn’t get it up enough to hop on over here to entertain y’all.

Then after the election, I got depressed for a while. I usually go down pretty hard as soon as the weather and time changes. Seasonal Affective Disorder it’s called. I was down hard for a week or two but now it seems to have lifted. But then we have hard warmer and sunnier weather.

When I was down, I felt pretty funny. I knew I was depressed and I kept telling myself I needed to snap out of it, but my depressed mind kept saying, “Why in the Hell do you want to be happy? Fuck happiness! Happiness is a drag. It’s stupid. Why not just be depressed. This is so much better. Besides, how could you not be depressed anyway.

Last year was the first year for a long time that I did not go down in the winter, but I was on an antidepressant the whole winter, often on a pretty high dose too. Lexapro 20-40 mg (often 30-40 mg.) if you are interested. I also take Wellbutrin  300 mg. every day, but I’m not sure exactly what it does. I do like to keep taking it though.

The Lexapro definitely has side effects I don’t like, but the Wellbutrin doesn’t seem to have any at all. I suppose it can raise your blood pressure, but I take blood pressure pills every day, so I should be all right. I can go up to 450 mg. but it’s a bit of a risk of seizures but not much – it goes up from .1 to .5.  Big deal. Wellbutrin is a very nice speedy non-sedating antidepressant that doesn’t kill your sex drive at all! In fact, it may even increase it. Side effects are pretty much zero for me. If anyone has issues in this area, I can’t recommend this drug highly enough.

Lexapro is nice too, especially at the higher doses of 30-40 mg. It’s sedating and it can kill your dick or orgasm in a variety of ways, depending on your age. But Lexapro is the least dick-killing of the SSRI’s. Not that I worry terribly about killing my dick nowadays. For all I know it’s probably barely alive as it is. Hell, killing it might even be a good thing. Put it out of its damned misery.

Forget about the Long QT or Torsades du points risk for Lexapro. I don’t know much about Torsades du points, but I know a bit about Long QT. It’s pretty much negligible risk unless you already have Long QT for a genetic reason or you are taking a drug that lengthens the QT interval.

Now if you are going to take a handful of them and try to overdose, it’s another matter, but those cases typically survived, and many did not even suffer Long QT.

Not that I recommend trying to kill yourself with a handful of pills. Basically attempting suicide with the new SSRI antidepressants is just stupid. It doesn’t seem to work very well, and all it does is put you in the hospital.

My father tried to kill himself with a handful of Benzodiazepines. He almost succeeded. He took about 40 of them. He almost died but he managed to survive. That’s another lousy drug to OD on.

A former girlfriend took a handful of Xanax benzos and had the cops come bust down her door. She just passed out. Didn’t even come close to dying.

Another girlfriend took a handful of assorted pills but just went to sleep a long time. I made fun of her, “Damn, you’re a loser! You’re such a failure you can’t even kill yourself!” She was Jewish so that was good for a belly-laugh. Self-deprecating humor and all that, Borscht Belt in upstate New York, right? Woody Allen was good at that, but I always liked Lenny Bruce better.

I had another girlfriend who took a handful of tricyclic antidepressants, and you’re damn right those will kill you. She was in a coma for three days.

In the last few years I dated a few young women. Three were suicidal, aged 18, 19, and 27. I’m starting to wonder how many young women nowadays are not suicidal. Are there any?

I am also starting to think  that Suicidality, that is, the urge towards self-annihilation, is an essential part of the Feminine Character. If you think  that’s bad, the correlate in  the Masculine  Character is a homicidal drive to annihilate the other. Neither is optimal but I think I’d rather live next door to the suicidal chick than the homicidal dude, all things considered.

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Insight, Defenses, and the Ego-Syntonic/Ego-Dystonic and Crazy/Sick Binaries in Axis 1 and 2 Disorders

For the first time in my life a week ago, I experienced the thing that a lot of depressives experience. They actually want to be depressed. They like to be depressed. The depressed mind tells them that depression is simply normality. They don’t want to get better because they’re already normal. Some deeply depressed people don’t even realize they are depressed.

They’re on the verge of suicide, cutting themselves, with a mood blacker than a redfish in a steaming New Orleans kitchen, snapping at everyone, paranoid that all the happy people are secretly making fun of them, but they’re completely normal. They stand up and scream at psychiatrist after psychiatrist who tells them that they are deeply depressed. They are not, dammit! They’re perfectly normal! And they storm out of the office until the next time with the new doctor.

Finally someone slips them a handful of pills, and they start popping them. The permanent night goes away and the sun comes out for once. As the dawn begins to clear into the sharp light of day, the reality hammer hits them hard, and they realize just how sick they were.

The problem with these disorders is the part of the body that is sick is the brain. A working brain is necessary to figure out if you’re ok or not, and when you’re brain isn’t working, you’re incapable of recognizing that you are ill.

One former employee told me that once, this person asked Musk if he ever worried about losing his mind.

Musk replied: “Does a crazy person ever look in the mirror and know that he’s crazy?”

There you have it. Straight from the mouth of the Devil Himself. And of course Musk is nuts. He’s Bipolar. Almost all of his crazy behavior is happening when he is manic or hypomanic or whatever. I can look right through that article about him and see the mania raging through his life, unacknowledged, and of course consequently unhindered. There is a connection between mania (hypomania) and creativity, and Musk is nothing if not creative. One wonders if he treated his illness if then his creativity might decline in tandem with his (hypo)mania. Many people with Bipolar Disorder report just that.

Mania has the curious characteristic of not only making you nuts, but blinding you to that fact. As we just saw, depression can do that too. And I’ve finally figured out firsthand what I have been observing for years now – that depressed people actually like to be depressed and literally do not want to get better. The depression makes them incapable of wanting to get better.

Of course in psychosis no one thinks they are ill. That’s why they call it psychosis.

Axis 2 disorders also blind the person to the fact that they are ill but they do so in a different way because in personality disorders, the brain is usually fine, it’s more that the person’s true character is ill. People with personality disorders aren’t even crazy or mentally ill in a sense. Instead, they are sick. Sick at their very soul, at the very essence. Soul-sick.

Think of a psychopath. Is he crazy? Give it up. Of course he’s not nuts. Crazy as a fox, sure. But anyone who has spent any time around these people realizes that somehow there is something terribly wrong with them. It’s almost as if they are not quite human. They are more like animals, or better yet, machines. While they are surely disturbed, it’s clear that they aren’t the slightest bit crazy. The psychopath is one of the sanest people you’ll meet. So what is he if he’s not nuts? He’s sick. What is sick? His soul is sick. We are almost outside of crazy/sane here into the other binary of good/evil.

People with personality disorders never think anything is wrong with them because it is the core self, the true you, the real personality, that is sick. No one wants to think they’ve got a crappy personality. Deep down inside, everyone is just fine. Or at least that’s all they know. How can you be anything other than yourself? You can’t. So how can being you be wrong? It can’t. You don’t know how to be anything other than you so your true core self can never be sick, and you couldn’t figure out how to not be yourself anyway even if it was.

Personality disorders, along with paraphilias, are typically ego-syntonic, and the characteristic of ego-syntonic disorders is that people don’t think anything is wrong.

On the other hand, the anxiety disorders do not seem to be ego-syntonic in general. They’re quite ego-dystonic. It’s like you’ve got a monkey on your back. The person with the anxiety disorder says, “Get these thoughts/feelings out of my head/body! Make them go away! I hate them!” These disorders are quite painful but their ego-dystonic nature makes people want to seek help.

The anxiety disorders have always been a stick in the mud for Freudian pleasure principle theory because they make the person so miserable. But that only works if you see them as defenses, and I don’t think anxiety disorders are defenses.

Want to talk defenses? Personality disorders, right this way, in Display Number 2 over here. A wild bundle of defenses crafted into the the most Rube Goldbergian fortress you’ve ever seen with trap doors, stairways to nowhere, fake walls, hidden rooms, booby traps, decoys, the whole nine yards. The fortress is so huge and fortified that it’s not even working to protect the person anymore.

This is a person that has constructed a fortress so huge and complex to protect themselves that, while it’s protecting them for sure, it’s also causing more problems than it solving. A case of the cure is worse than the disease. Sort of like a country that spends itself bankrupt on defense and doesn’t have enough left over for food.

In fact, the person themselves tends to disappear in Personality Disorders, and all you see is this wild swirl of defenses. Now and then you can glimpse the real person when they surface a bit for some air before plunging back down to the Axis 2 depths, but it’s usually pretty well hidden.

It’s often quite shocking to glimpse the real person because you’ve been looking at the personality disorder so long that you’ve come to think that the disorder is the actual person. On the other hand, it’s a good question. Is the personality disorder the person themselves? Is there a true self down there somewhere amidst the whirlpool of defenses? I’m not sure.

Of course anxiety disorders are not defenses. They thought psychoses were defenses too. People were “activating psychotic defenses.” Well, for a defense, I must say that a psychosis has to be one of the lousiest ways to protect yourself that I can think of. Of course psychoses are not defenses. Nor are mood disorders. The manic is not engaging in “flight into reality.” How on Earth depression defends against anything on Earth is beyond me.

The Axis 1 Disorders – the mood, anxiety, and psychotic disorders – are simply illnesses like the illnesses you get in the other parts of your body. Only these illnesses affect your brain. When you get physically ill, is that some sort of defense? No doubt in that case cancer must be the biggest defense of them all.

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A Lot of Manics Display Manipulative, Irritable, Aggressive, Menacing, and Even Violent Cluster B Behavior

Claudius: Are you sure he’s just bipolar? He seems very Cluster B, by the way you describe him.

When he’s manic he acts Cluster B. He acts like a psychopath. And all manics meet criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder when they are manic. A lot of people look “Cluster B” when they are manic.

People don’t understand mania. They think they are so happy they are up in the clouds. You probably won’t notice it unless you’ve seen a lot of it because the mania isn’t obvious. In this person’s case, it just seems like they’re turned into a psychotic version of Charles Manson. People don’t associate that behavior with mania. But I’ve seen this so many times that I can spot it blindfolded half a mile away.

Yes, many are happy manics, especially hypomanics, but when they go into full blown mania, they are seriously nuts and often psychotic or close to psychotic. It’s an episode of full blown insanity/insane behavior.

This is especially true with the men. A psychiatrist told my Mom that for every happy male manic she sees, she sees nine angry, paranoid, violent, criminal, sociopathic, homicidal manics. Most people don’t understand that. People have seen him manic many times, and no one thinks he’s manic. They just say he’s “on drugs,” “on speed,” “a huge asshole,” “a monster,” “a criminal,” etc.

The official name for these manics is Irritable Mania. Manics can be unbelievably irritable when they are manic, often shading over into aggression, menacing behavior, and even violence. The irritability is often the primary feature for a lot of male manics. I never really thought about this, but when I finally plugged the idea of irritability into this person’s behavior, it all started making sense. You have to expand your mind to where the irritability is so extreme that they can seem aggressive, menacing, and even violent. But yeah, at the core it’s  the wildest, most dangerous irritability you’ve even seen.

Many manics commit crimes during episodes. I think last I read was that 25% of them get arrested during manic episodes, and 17% of them get arrested for violent crimes. I don’t know that rate of homicide is for manics as for the average person, it’s quite low, but manics do have an elevated rate of homicide, I believe 2-3X above normal. Bipolar people also have a very high suicide rate. The rate is ~15%. That’s very, very high.

Oh, I forgot. He also steals when he’s like this. Don’t ever turn your back on him, or he’ll rip you off. He also fights dirty, spreads nasty lies about to wreck your reputation, aims right for your worst Achilles heels during arguments, and is basically very devious and manipulative, which of course is the essence of Cluster B’s. Cluster B’s if they are anything are manipulative as all get out.

But even when he is in his irritable major mania, he has periods when he’s happy, partying, and living it up, singing loudly and drinking, etc.That’s part of the clue that he’s manic. Also he hardly sleeps at all. That’s a primary feature. Sleeps ~3-4 hours a night, if that. And tends to sleep in the day and stay up all night. Has increased energy too.

And he always gets a girlfriend when he’s manic. He’s basically dead shy and he doesn’t usually have a girlfriend when he’s not manic, but as soon as he goes manic, even though he’s a diabolical, monstrous asshole from Hell, he usually gets a girlfriend real quick. This is why I laugh when people say the incels can’t get laid because they have shitty personalities, are antisocial, are angry, mean, and evil, etc. Like women don’t love the Hell out of men like that.

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Face It: People with Bipolar Disorder Are Monsters

The person I am living with is mentally ill. Fortunately, he’s being medicated now for the first time in his life. He has Bipolar Disorder. He finally takes meds but sometimes the meds don’t clear out the whole illness.

In his mid-50’s he finally admitted that he had this illness. He’d been in denial for a good 40 years, during which time he ruined his life and to be fair, the lives of everyone else in his family too, who bore the full brunt of his wrath during these diabolical episodes. He went untreated for 40 years, and every time you go full blown manic, you damage your brain somewhat.

He’s gone full manic maybe 10-15 times, each time completely destroying his life, which he then has to be up the pieces of and put back together when he comes out of it – 8-9 months later. So he has significant brain damage from this illness. How exactly that brain damage manifests is not known, but I can tell that one part of the brain damage is worsening illness.

His episodes keep getting worse. This time he went to jail for seven weeks for threatening to kill someone. But when he comes down he’s often still hypomanic. Hypomania is a lesser form of mania in which they are not seriously nuts. Instead they are just somewhat manic of half manic. Generally mild enough to where they can still function, work, go to school, etc.

His hypomania manifests as being a horrific asshole. His mother finally threw him out of the house he had been living in for 15 years because he turned into a monster and morphed her life into a hellscape. He’d been doing this diabolical behavior towards her for 15 years now off and on, but she would never throw him out because he would go homeless.

Well, this time she had enough. Going to jail threw him out of the house, and he was not invited back. Like never, ever. In fact, she has a restraining order against him. She will talk to him over the phone, but she refuses to meet him in person. Tell you what, if you are a man, and you made your own mother hate you, you are pretty bad.

Anyway, when he’s symptomatic, this guy is an irritable monster from the time he gets up in the morning until far into the evening. He only calms down late at night after he’s had a few drinks. There’s no way to get along with him. Everything you say to him starts some sort of a fight. He disagrees with everything you say.

The person who lives with me has no power over me. I hold all the cards. I threaten to play them now and again. I have threatened to throw him out easily 50-100 times.

He’s never wrong. He’s always right. He went 15 years without apologizing for anything or even admitting he was wrong about something, including intellectual discussions. He’s spent his whole life blaming other people. Lately he has been apologizing and even admitting he screwed up sometimes, which is shocking because he went 15-20 years without doing that once.

Anyway, I get angry at him in all sorts of ways, verbally and nonverbally.

Shun him, ignore him, treat him like he’s not there.

Refuse to answer his questions or respond to his remarks (silent treatment).

Visibly angry with him. Well, that is one that never works because if you get visibly angry at an irritable person, it just makes them angrier, so you just made a bad problem worse. Congratulations!

 

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Game/PUA: Infatuation and Love Are the Same Thing

There’s no such thing as “just infatuation” and “real love” being two different things.  First of all, true love doesn’t exist or only exists in the exalted fantasies or delusions of women. “Real love” is nonsense, and of course it’s completely antiscientific, unfalsifiable, and even tautological.

Nevertheless it’s clear there is something called love that exists even in a scientific sense. But it’s on a continuum with something called like. Like is at one end and then as like gets stronger, eventually you get to full blown love at the other end.

The initial phase of love is something I call “wild love,” and it’s a wild ride indeed! The problem is it’s not really sustainable the same as a manic episode (which it resembles possibly in more ways than one) is not sustainable. It’s just too wild and crazy, and humans can’t sustain that sort of wild passion over the long term. If mania doesn’t end, the result is death.

Chronic mania used to exist as a psychiatric entity before the treatment era. It had its own set of rather unique symptomology. I have an old p psychiatric textbook from the 1950’s that talks about it. It apparently still occurs in some Bipolar patients and is notoriously resistant to treatment. There have been some recent case studies in the literature. They never really came down. Obviously, they died young. Death usually occurred in the mid-40’s and was typically a heart attack, natch.

No one knows what happens if wild love goes on forever because the nature of the human psyche is that wild love burns out after at most a couple of years. It’s hard to imagine someone dying of too much love, but if so, it wouldn’t be the first time. What else killed Romeo Juliet but “chronic wild love?”

Though wild love doesn’t last forever is perhaps a law of the human psyche if anything is, it can last a year or two. After that it transforms into what I call “mature love,” which is a calmer but in some ways deeper and more profound thing. Perhaps it’s all down to oxytocin and maybe high levels of oxytocin are only sustainable for a year or two. Who knows? At the end of the day,  most things human, even the most mystical and rarefied, probably boil down to simply human biology, chemicals, transmitters, and receptors, neurons, cells, atoms, and ultimately mundane molecules.

After studying the subject for several decades, it’s clear to me that infatuation is simply the early, “wild” phase of love that indeed looks like a manic episode, except that the parties are more or less sane (though wild love can be quite volatile with a lot of wild swings between love and hate). The initial phase of love, wild love, is a beautiful thing! It’s pretty crazy but it’s also one of the peak experiences one can have a human being. Be thankful if you were lucky enough to experience it. Many never do!

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Bipolar Disorder: Manics Are Literally the Worst People on Earth

Bipolar Disorder is a mental illness formerly called Manic Depression. Bipolar people alternate between episodes of mania, characterized by high energy, little sleep, elation, excessive or frantic activity, wild spending, promiscuity, heavy alcohol and drug use along with aggression, rage, hostility, menacing behavior, extreme irritability, wild rages and temper tantrums, and even crimes, at times even violent crimes, as we shall see below.

The other periods are the down periods characterized by Depression. You all know what that entails so I won’t go into details.

In between, the manic is typically fine or at least goes back to their premorbid personality,  whatever that was like. It’s as if the illness has vanished altogether.

The episodes can may occur within a day or be up to three years apart.

If untreated, there is a tendency to worsen over time. This is because untreated mania actually causes physical damage to your brain. Every time you have a manic episode, your brain gets damaged. Then when you have another one, it’s gets more damaged, and on and on, accumulating over time.

Then the illness worsens. The manic episodes last longer and seem to worsen in quality. The time between episodes shortens. Finally, they reach the point where they are no longer normal between episodes and instead they are mildly manic or hypomanic between episodes.

In my family’s case, the person went from 5 to 3 to 1 1/2 to now where they come only 6 months apart. 9-10 months of mania, 6 months of hypomania, and then another 9-10 months of mania. So they are literally spending  a majority of their existence now in major manic episodes.

The drugs used are mood stabilizers between episodes, which seem to calm them down and prevent new major episodes, and antipsychotics for a Major Manic Episode because they’re so nuts that that’s the only thing that will bring them down.

The Angry, Aggressive, Irritable, and Violent Manic

Although the stereotype is of the happy manic on top of the world, that may not be typical. I heard a psychiatrist speak once and she said that among her male Bipolar patients, there were about 10 angry, irritable,  etc. manics for every happy one. The women may be more of the happy manics.

I’m living with one of these monsters right now, and it’s pure Hell. When he goes manic he’s basically Charles Manson. Pure evil. It’s like paranoid schizophrenia in the sense that they’re not just nuts, but they’re also aggressive and dangerous. They’re angry, hostile, hateful, abusive, aggressive, menacing, destructive, and even violent assholes from Hell.

And of course when they go manic, they lose all insight. If you confront them and tell them they’re having an episode, they flip out, scream and yell like a maniac, throw things, and get very menacing like they’re going to hit you. And they may indeed hit you.

In addition, because of stigma, there is often a lot of resistance to accepting the fact that they are ill. Our family member denied that he was ill for 38 years, from age 17 to age 55. Even now, in the midst of an episode, I guarantee he will deny being ill. That’s just how the illness works and also this person has one of the most extreme Denial defenses I’ve ever seen built up.

We have a family member with this illness and he has had many manic episodes over the years. Every time he has an episode, I’ve always been around. And every time, we got into at least one fist fight. Plus I usually get into a fistfight a year or so even when he’s not manic, except he’s never not manic.

When he’s not having an episode, he’s hypomanic, or a little bit manic. He’s literally been manic all the time, either hypomanic or manic, for ~15 years now. This is not a pleasant person to be around.

If you criticize, correct, or attempt to enforce any rules on them, you get met with a wild, screaming, violent tantrum and possible violence of some sort.

Angry, irritable manics are the literally worst human beings on Earth. When they go manic they turn into narcissistic psychopaths.

Of course in our case, his worthless therapist and psychiatrist won’t listen to me to up his meds. I contacted them and told them that he’d gone into a major manic episode, and they blew me off, said I was incapable of diagnosing mental illness, called me paranoid, denied that he was ill, and made me out to be the bad guy.

They’re so stupid and incompetent they can’t even figure out he’s nuts, and they refuse to believe me.

This is a typical scenario. The therapist has little or no understanding of the illness –  I know the disorder far better than he does (very common) – which is typical. The psychiatrist does worthless telemedicine, so I guarantee she won’t be able to diagnose him. Plus I’m not allowed to talk to her due to some crazy misinterpretation of the HIPAA law that was passed  recently.

If you have this diabolical illness, for God’s sake, accept your illness, and get on meds right now. And listen to your loved ones when we tell you you’re going nuts because you won’t be able to tell. The worst thing about these satanic illnesses is not just that they make people dangerously insane, but they blind the sufferer to that fact.

Manics are dangerous as Hell. They often commit crimes in episodes, and they are commonly arrested and jailed, often many times, typically at least once per episode.

They are also extremely aggressive and, yes, violent.

They have a very high rate of being arrested for violent crimes, like 22%. I’m surprised it’s that low. And they have a very high homicide rate, vastly above average.

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Dangerousness in Humans: You’re Either Pushing Energy out or You Are Pushing It In

In order to keep up with the loony SJW trends, it’s a requirement that I get increasingly crazy every year. Trust me, I’m already way too nuts. Last thing I need is get more crazy. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

By the way, if you can help it, please don’t go crazy. I had a neurotic break but that was bad enough. I didn’t get any special credit. I may as well have gone psychotic for how people treated me.

Everyone’s going to treat you like shit. You will get fired from job after job simply for being nuts. You will get dumped by woman after woman.

You will get accused of crimes and especially being a criminal – particularly a sex offender. For some insane reason, if you look a bit out there and are male, the automatic assumption is that you are a rapist, child molester, or serial killer. I can’t tell you how many times I got accused of that.

The truth is that most men who have some obvious mental disorder going on are not sex offenders in any way. Most are not killers. In fact, many of those men are the most harmless men you will ever meet.

That’s because there’s dangerous crazy and harmless crazy. There’s also dangerous weird and harmless weird. Normies are shitheads, so they can’t tell the difference, although when people get over 40, it seems like a lot of them can sort it out, and most people over that age act like I’m harmless no matter how crazy they think I am.

Yes, a lot of Normies actually start to get sane after age 40. That’s because they figure out what life is really all about, and they realize that a lot of the things Normie society says is true are actually completely false, and they’ve rejected this Normie indoctrination reject it in favor of sanity. But under 40, forget it. They’re all the same.

The truth is that mental illness is variable. People with anxiety disorders, frequently referred to as psychos and accused of being sex criminals, are probably the most harmless people you will ever meet. Their crime rate is dramatically lower from that of a Normie idiot. That is due to the nature of the sort of person who gets an anxiety disorder and the effects of the anxiety disorder itself, which are hugely inhibiting.

Most depressives are harmless, especially women. They’re mostly dangerous to themselves. Some depressive men are dangerous but once again, mostly to themselves. The problem is anger. Once a depressive starts to mix a lot of anger or agitation into the depression, they can get dangerous, mostly to themselves but once again not always.

That’s because depression, like introversion and anxiety, is what I call a “freezing agent.” Introversion and anxiety seem to freeze me in place. They cause me to sink back into my chair. I don’t want to leave my chair, much less leave the house. Fear actually seems to propel me backwards from the world. It literally drives me backwards into my chair. In introversion, anxiety, and fear, all of  your body energy is going backwards, right into the self. You’re shooting little if any energy outwards.

This is because fear is a freezing agent, especially the anxiety type of fear.

The paranoid fear is different, but most Normies can’t figure that out because Normies are idiots. A Normie sees an anxious person, and the first thing they say is that that person is paranoid. But they’re not.

Paranoid fear and anxious fear are different, though at times it can be a bit difficult to entangle them. The paranoid fears that other people are actively trying to harm him.

The anxious person doesn’t think that. Sometimes they think that people don’t like them. But they think that that is because they themselves are weird or unlikable, and people are just being normal for rejecting them. They may see or even imagine rejection everywhere. They definitely overreact to it.

Now most Normies are too dumb to figure this out, but when all or most of your energy is going backwards into yourself, you are not putting out much if any energy into the world. This is why introverts and anxious types seem difficult to get to know or talk to.

In order to engage with other people and be social, you need to put out energy into the environment. This is like a welcoming signal that says, “Come talk to me.” Otherwise it is like talking to someone who seems cold, closed-off, or distracted. Most of these people are not unfriendly at all.

In fact, they are often desperately lonely as many introverts are. But the introversion/anxiety makes it seem like one is talking to a wall, so the person “appears” cold and unfriendly, when actually they are so lonely that they are desperately trying to be friendly.

Now the obvious thing that no Normie can figure out is this: When all of your energy is going inwards with introversion, anxiety, or deep depression, you are completely harmless. Now why is this? It is due to the obvious: in order to be dangerous, you have to be putting energy out into the world.

The anxious person is literally too paralyzed to move, much less attack someone, god forbid an innocent person. Now if you are unreasonable and aggressive, sometimes you can rile them up, and they can get a bit aggressive or violent, but even then, they won’t do much damage due to the fact that they are not pushing out enough energy to hurt someone. And you have to be an extreme asshole to set someone like that off.

Anxious people blame themselves for other people disliking  them. It’s all their own fault.  The people who dislike them are good, normal, healthy people. They’re just rejecting the anxious person because he’s weird or whatever.

On the contrary, paranoids think they are innocent.

In fact, a lot of the time it goes along with grandiosity. After all, if all these people hate you, you must be pretty damned important, right? The paranoid realizes the silliness of the notion that vast numbers of people would not bother to hate someone who is utterly important. Why would they waste their time? In that sense, the paranoid is quite sane.

But no, everyone’s just picking on the paranoid. Why? Who knows? The paranoid is a dindu. He dindu nuffin. He was just walking along, minding his own business, when all of these evil people started hating him and plotting to harm him for no reason at all.

So the paranoid has the same mindset that the antiracist, Jew, or Black does. They’re all completely innocent and all of these bad people are just picking on them and trying to harm them for absolutely no reason at all.

In this sense, antiracism is actually a form of paranoia. And indeed, Jews are well known for being paranoids. Not clinical paranoids, but paranoids nonetheless.

Also, paranoids are dangerous. They are dangerous because they think they are innocent. If you were totally innocent and all these maniacs started picking on you and plotting against you for no reason at all, wouldn’t you get mad? Wouldn’t you feel like going and getting your revenge against these evil maniacs? Well, of course you would.

Also though the paranoid is terrified, and that is inner-directed fear, he is reacting to this terror with innocent, indignant outrage and fury. He wants to go punish these bastards who done him wrong. Since he is putting a lot of energy out, and it’s typically some serious rage, the paranoid indeed can be dangerous.

In contrast, the anxious person’s energy is all going inwards. They blame themselves for people not liking them. Whereas the paranoid is innocent and his persecutors are guilty, with the anxious type, it’s the other way around.

The anxious person is the guilty one, and the people who don’t like him are completely innocent. Being innocent, the haters are completely justified in feeling this way. Any anger is all being directed inwards as self-hate.  And while inner-directed anger can be dangerous to the self (suicide) it’s not dangerous to others at all. In part this is due to the  nature of energy.

Think about it. If you are pushing almost all of your energy inwards, how much energy is left over to push outwards? Just about 0%. You literally do not have any energy left over to push outwards. And pushing bad energy inwards and outwards at the same time is rather difficult. Think about it. When you are down on yourself, are you mad at others? Not usually. When you are mad at others, are you down on yourself? Not generally. Rage in and rage out are somewhat mutually exclusive.

      • You’re either innocent or guilty. Pick one.
      • Your haters are either innocent or guilty. Pick one.
      • Your energy is either going in or out. Pick one.
      • If you’re innocent, your haters are guilty, and your energy is going out as hate or rage at others.
      • If you’re guilty, your haters are innocent, and your energy is going inwards as self-hate or rage at the self.
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Game/PUA: “All Bitches Are Crazy,” Part 2

Roy: Perhaps most all women are crazy, my own mother is far better than most women but still crazier than most men.

All women are nuts, pretty much. My Mom is pretty stable though. But she is still a lot more emotional than I am.

I have a female relative with a severe mood disorder that she has had most of her life. Major Depression. At first I thought she was faking it and was just lazy in order to get out of working and being independent, but recently I saw her crash far downwards for a couple of years.

Trigger? Her cat got out of her house and ran away and disappeared. No big deal, right? Nope, it put her out of commission for two years, or it set off an episode that lasted two years. In that episode I finally saw that there is something terribly wrong with my relative. She really is disabled when she is like that. There’s no way she could work. She can barely even talk, for Chrissake.

It’s pretty hard to describe severe Major Depression but once you have seen it, it seems so weird and bizarre that it almost seems in the category of schizophrenia and acute mania. They’re crazy. Yep, you can be so depressed that you are frankly completely nuts.

When I saw her like that, I realized that she was completely pitiful, and I no longer thought she was faking her illness. Thing is when she is not having an episode, she seems pretty normal, and you get mad at her and think she is faking her illness. Supposedly even in these times she is ill, but you really can’t see it.

She is bizarrely moody though, even for a flaky female. You are walking on eggshells the whole time you around her. She gets upset by any little thing and blows up into huge tantrums. You have to watch your words extremely carefully and try not to insult her or bring up any of her trigger issues.

I finally figured out that you can’t criticize feminism because she is a full-blown feminazi. My Mom is also a hardcore feminist, but I could not figure it out until she was ~75 years old. Or maybe she got worse.

You also cannot criticize or say anything remotely negative about women in any way, shape, or form with my Mom or this relative. Women are perfect and men are all seriously flawed.

All feminists believe exactly that, and it took me until a few years ago to finally figure that out. In fact that is one of the core hard beliefs of feminism: Women are perfect; men are anywhere from seriously flawed to pure evil. The only women they hate are the “traitors” who side with the men against the feminists on some of their issues.

Of course this proves that feminism is just another form of Identity Politics idiocy.

I think women are just sensitive. Sensitivity means emotionality and to us men that seems crazy or flaky because a highly emo man is seen as crazy/flaky.

I have seen comments about men describing them as having “almost female levels of flake.” These guys were PUA’s who probably had some Cluster B stuff going on at some level like most players.

There is a site on the Manosphere which is too misogynistic for my tastes, but nevertheless had some of the finest insights on women that I have ever seen. One guy who writes for the site said:

LOL All bitches are crazy. Don’t even try to figure them out!

That’s actually excellent advice. I don’t agree with referring to all women as bitches, but from the male point of view, most women definitely seem crazy to us. This craziness is seen in its full extent if you get involved with them sexually or as a close friend. As a close friend you will see how unstable she is, and as a lover she will direct a lot of her pent-up instability towards you.

On the other hand if you only know a woman informally as a landlord, relative, store owner, worker, or coworker, you may never see much instability. Women have an amazing ability to compartmentalize their instability.

I never found that the women I knew as casual acquaintances were unstable. I have never found my female coworkers to be unstable in any job. Hell, the men were more unstable at some jobs. Gay men in particular can be dramatically unstable and flaky at work, sometimes far worse than women.

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Alt Left: No, the Dayton Shooter Was Not an “Antifa Shooter”

Right. The Dayton mass shooter was not the first “antifa mass shooter,” as the drooling, unhinged nutcase Andy Ngo insists. I don’t think this idiot deserved to get beat up by antifa, but he’s definitely a full-blown nutball.

Yes, Connor Betts was associated with the far left in the US and with the antifa portion of it with all of the behaviors that go along with that. He hated cops and fascists. His random shooting of nine innocent people outside of a bar in Dayton, Ohio had zero political overtones. “Antifa” does not advocate taking guns and killing innocent workers and other citizens. It advocates nothing of the kind.

Obviously mass shooters will often have a political ideology, especially in our ideologically blighted times. After all, they are adult Americans and nowadays most adult Americans have some sort of politics. In a nonpolitical shooting, a shooter may have any politics whatsoever from Far Left to Far Right and everything in between, and none of it matters one whit. That is because the shooting had nothing to do with politics, so the shooter’s politics is absolutely irrelevant.

By the way, the sex life of the shooter is also irrelevant. The Gilroy and El Paso shooters didn’t seem to do well with women, but neither was complaining about it, and there’s no evidence that misogyny or incel ideology had anything to do with the shooting. Believe it or not, any man can go on a mass shooting, from virgin to playboy. As long as the shooting has nothing to do with his sex life, obviously his sex life is utterly irrelevant.

The Dayton shooter did quite well with women, but he also had some serious anger towards them. Yet the shooting, which fired into a mixed crowd and killed more men than women in addition to killing his beloved best sister, was clearly not motivated by misogyny.

Instead, Connor Betts appears to have been suffering from sort of psychotic disorder, possibly Schizoaffective Disorder or Bipolar 1 Disorder. We know that he had been hearing external voices from an early age.

Politics in this country is getting seriously retarded with each passing day, and I blame both the Right and the Left for that because nowadays the Right and Left are equally deranged ideologically.

They don’t have much in common with each other except for a lack of connection with the real world and a tendency to lie, make stuff up, hallucinate, and engage in wild hyperbole and conspiracy mongering. Neither the Right nor the Left is as bad as the demonizers on the other side make them out to be.

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Repost: Alt Left: What Percentage of Homosexual People Is Acceptable To You in a Given Population?

Answered on Queera.

Believe it or not, all of the answers said that if a country’s population was 100% gay, that would be absolutely wonderful! I’m sure having all the population of your country gay would be the greatest thing since sliced bread! What the Hell’s the matter with people? It would be catastrophic for any country to be 100% gay, though we’re probably headed that way in the US at the rate we’re going here.

How could having 100% of the population of your country gay possibly be a good thing!? Color me mystified.

A given population as in for a country? 3%. That’s the percentage in the US, and it’s just fine by me. Understand that homosexuality is bad for society in the sense that it causes a lot of costly problems for society. Furthermore, taxes paid by gays do not make up for the costs that society incurs from homosexuals.

  • Homosexuals live 20 years less than heterosexuals. It is horribly sad for gay people that they miss out on so many years of wonderful life, but it seems to me that reduced lifespan is costly to society.
  • Gays have higher rates of mood and anxiety disorders. While this causes a lot of suffering to gay people, and this is sad, at the same time, mental illness is costly to society.
  • Gays have much higher rates of drinking, smoking, and drug abuse than straights. The gay male party and play scene revolving heavily around methamphetamine and club drugs is particularly alarming. Lesbians in particular smoke a lot. The costs of drinking, smoking, and drug abuse to gays themselves are no doubt significant in terms of disease, mortality, and the suffering that can come from excessive substance abuse; nevertheless, this incurs a lot of costs to society.
  • Gay men obviously have a very high STD rate. At 20% infection rate, the HIV rate is especially alarming. Most of these diseases remain confined to the gay community and have not broken out significantly to the straight community, with the exception of the Black community with all the down low men. But the great heterosexual HIV epidemic spreading from gays to straights never occurred mostly because HIV goes from men to women and then it stops, as spokesmen from the New York Department of Public Health said as early as the 1980’s. That’s not completely true, but it is very hard to get HIV from a woman. Hepatitis A, B, and C are or were  fairly to very common to in the gay community, vastly more common than among heterosexuals, most of whom only acquire B and C from IV drug use. Parasitical diseases such as shigella, ameobiasis, and giardiasis are also extremely common among gay men; whereas they are quite rare among straights. In recent syphilis epidemics, up to 85% of cases are among gay men. Syphilis is quite uncommon among straights. Gay men have elevated rates of anal cancer, and the rate is rising. The rate is vastly higher than the rate among straights. I would like to point out that it is gay men themselves who suffer most from these diseases, and this suffering, although self-imposed, is often tragic, horrifying, and heartbreaking, particularly in the heart-wrenching case of HIV. Lesbians have very low rates of STD’s but higher rates of breast cancer. I doubt if lesbians impose a disease burden on society. The very high gay male STD rate, in particular the HIV rate, obviously imposes considerable costs to society.
  • Tragically, gay men have a suicide rate 3X higher than straight men, even in San Francisco, the most gay-friendly place in the US. The attempted suicide rate is also very high. Gay male teenagers have a tragically very high attempted suicide rate at 8X the normal rate. Suicidal behavior causes unfathomable and heartbreaking suffering on gay men. However, attempted and completed suicides impose considerable cost on society.
  • Domestic violence rates are very high in gay and lesbian couples, especially the latter. A gay man is much more likely to beat his partner than a straight man is. A woman is much less likely to be beaten by a male partner than by a female partner. This causes immense suffering to the partners of gay and lesbian batterers. In addition, domestic violence is costly to society.
  • In gay areas, gay men typically take over all of the public restrooms and turn them into miniature sex clubs. This renders most public restrooms unusable by the rest of us. Most gay men typically vociferously support the use of public restrooms as sex dens for gays. I don’t have much sympathy here. Gay men are simply being very irresponsible with this depraved mindset. Further, this is a cost to society.

It is first of all most important to point out that gay men themselves suffer worst from most from these largely self-imposed conditions, a suffering so profound that it almost moves you to tears. Compassion is essential. Nevertheless, there is a cost to society.

Some of these issues may be caused by discrimination (see the high teenage gay male attempted suicide rate), but there is a cost to society no matter what causes it. Some of these problems would lessen with increased acceptance of gays, but others would linger or possibly even worsen.

The question comes up whether gays pay for the costs they bring to society. Many gays seem to have above average intelligence for some reason, especially gay men. Gays seem more artistically talented than straights. More gays than straights seem to get college degrees, in particular gay men. Gay men seem to earn higher than average wages and are disproportionately employed in high paying and prestigious professions.

I am always hearing about a homosexual, often a gay man, who is contributing something noteworthy and exemplary to our society such that it mentions a media notice. Obviously, gay men contribute more to the tax base per capita than straights. So gays, especially gay men, offer considerable benefits to society, not flowing from their homosexuality but from other aspects of their lives.

I have not discussed lesbians here because I know little about them, but I doubt that they impose serious costs on society other than reduced lifespan.

However the question rises whether gays pay for themselves. Despite their excellent contributions to society and their higher than normal tax contributions, I still do not think that homosexuals pay for themselves.

The question then arises about whether the rest of us should be willing to carry a small burden for our gay brothers.

Personally I feel that at 3%, I am willing to shoulder the costs of homosexuals to society, as the numbers are so small that it is something we can cope with. I would be willing to tolerate up to 6% gay men in society. I think we could deal at that rate. However, if the rate of male homosexuality went higher than that, all of these problems above would increase in scope with attendant costs.

Honestly, even when you get to 10% gay men in any country, your problems are going to go up a lot. The % of gay men in New York and San Francisco is quite high, and they definitely impose considerable costs on these cities. Once you start heading up to 15–20% of any country’s population being gay, I think it would be unsustainable for many reasons (see above).

Homosexuality in society seems to be one of those things, like many things in life, that is best in small doses.

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Meth-induced Voices in Your Head Start with Pareidolia

Interesting article on meth-induced voices in the head deriving from long-term use of methamphetamine.

Eventually, and note that this happened with everyday use of crystal meth for a couple of years, there didn’t have to be any white noise to trigger the voices. Eventually I heard voices all the time, and they took on a different nature. They would sound just like real voices, coming from different directions and distance, so the sensation was enough to trick my brain into believing that I really heard the voices with my ears.
They became voices that mocked me, voices that ridiculed me, voices of imaginary observers to a mind that became increasingly paranoid and deluded. So it became much like a persecution complex, or paranoid schizophrenia.
At one stage I heard people talking about me at work, saying terrible things about me. I heard them through the walls. I heard them even when I was alone.

That sounds almost exactly like paranoid schizophrenia. I have heard that long-term meth use can lead to a permanent paranoid schizophrenia-type illness. Most of this data has come out of Japan where people have been injecting shabu or meth for many years. The cases involved subjects who had been injecting shabu every day for 10+ years. The illness was incurable.

Meth-induced voices in your head take you to a bad place, a real living hell on Earth. And many who go there don’t return. They end up permanently psychotic…
…I find this very interesting, in that it could mean that hearing voices is simply an expected side-effect of prolonged drug use. Further, I noticed many meth addicts who tended to believe in black magic and possession. Even when I was in rehab years ago, some residents there became convinced that a schizophrenic resident (who talked to himself and spoke in gibberish that they thought were “demonic tongues”) was possessed. No amount of attempting to reason with them would convince them otherwise.
So beware, voices in the head and apophenia leading to an irrational belief in the paranormal (as well as possibly in God in recovery) may well just be a side-effect of the high levels of dopamine as a result of frequent prolonged drug use. And it may be permanent.

This is interesting, implying that in some cases, the delusions never really go away. 
It’s interesting how the voices start up faster the longer they have been going on. For instance, if they have been going on a long time and you quit for a while, they will start up again full-blown after only a few days of meth use. This is a kindling effect and it is well known in cocaine use and bipolar disorder, especially manic episodes.
A heavy cocaine user will quit and then smoke cocaine one time. After only using it once, they are running around shutting all the drapes and talking about how the police outside can hear everyone so people need to quiet down.
In Bipolar Disorder, the more episodes you experience, the worse the illness until you get to the point where you are a somewhat manic all the time. Episodes come more often and healthy periods between episodes shorten. The episodes themselves become worse and last longer.

Meth-induced Voices in Your Head Start with Pareidolia

By Jerome

I’ve never written about this topic on this blog, although it was a frequent subject on my old blog. Maybe it’s time…
This subject is fascinating to me now, though it wasn’t always that way. In active addiction it was scary. It was something that I lived with for a few years, but what I find most interesting is how it started.
Firstly, you need to know what pareidoloia is. It’s defined as seeing patterns where none exist, and while that explains it technically, it doesn’t really make it clear what the psychological phenomenon actually is. Visual pareidolia is when we think we see shapes like faces in inanimate objects, like Jesus on a piece of toast, or a face on Mars.
But pareidolia is also when we think we hear voices or recognizable sounds through white noise. An example of the less well known auditory pareidolia is when you’re taking a shower or hear really loud rain falling on your roof, and you think you hear voices or your phone ringing through the noise. That was how my meth voices started. At first it was just ordinary pareidolia, where there was loud rain or wind and I thought I heard voices, but would realize immediately that it was my imagination.
But then something seemed to go wrong in my brain. Fragments of sound that sounded like voices evolved into much more. As months went by, it would happen more frequently, and any background noise, even noises that were not noticeable to most people, would trigger it. So what started out sounding vaguely like voices, after a few months became voices of people that I knew speaking unintelligible words. So it was like hearing a conversation from another room, one just out of earshot and not heard clearly. Then as time went by, it became actual words and sentences that I could make out.
Eventually, and note that this happened with everyday use of crystal meth for a couple of years, there didn’t have to be any white noise to trigger the voices. Eventually I heard voices all the time, and they took on a different nature. They would sound just like real voices, coming from different directions and distance, so the sensation was enough to trick my brain into believing that I really heard the voices with my ears.
They became voices that mocked me, voices that ridiculed me, voices of imaginary observers to a mind that became increasingly paranoid and deluded. So it became much like a persecution complex, or paranoid schizophrenia.
At one stage I heard people talking about me at work, saying terrible things about me. I heard them through the walls. I heard them even when I was alone. Eventually I isolated myself from the outside world and everything in my life was affected as I retreated into my own delusional world of suffering and pain.
Meth-induced voices in your head take you to a bad place, a real living hell on Earth. And many who go there don’t return. They end up permanently psychotic. I’ll probably revisit this topic and write about how it felt to live with those voices and the inevitable delusion, but today’s post is mostly about how they start.
I find it interesting to know that those voices do start with auditory pareidolia, which is something we all experience. Of course, if you’re a meth addict and you start to experience voices, it’s probably a great time to stop using. But you won’t, I know. Yet you need to recognize that when this happens, you can no longer try to convince yourself that you aren’t an addict.
When it reaches this point, you’re a long way past crossing a line from user to addict. You need to recognize that you have a serious problem, one that is affecting not only your life but those of all involved in it. Once the voices progress to the point where you hear them all the time, they don’t stop as long as you continue using. Even if you are clean for a long time and then relapse, the voices return in a few days, and then stick around as long as you use. At least that’s how it was for me.


Update: This article about apophenia (the spontaneous perception of connections and meaningfulness of unrelated phenomena), which is of course closely related to pareidolia, lists high levels of dopamine as a possible cause. Of course drugs like meth, and to a lesser extent cocaine and crack cocaine, cause tremendously high levels of dopamine, considerably higher than the levels that occur naturally. And all of those drugs cause voices in the heads of long-term users. Apparently high levels of dopamine might also cause belief in the paranormal, and EVP, among other things. (I’d considered mentioning EVP here anyway.)
I find this very interesting, in that it could mean that hearing voices is simply an expected side-effect of prolonged drug use. Further, I noticed many meth addicts who tended to believe in black magic and possession. Even when I was in rehab years ago, some residents there became convinced that a schizophrenic resident (who talked to himself and spoke in gibberish that they thought were “demonic tongues”) was possessed. No amount of attempting to reason with them would convince them otherwise.
So beware, voices in the head and apophenia leading to an irrational belief in the paranormal (as well as possibly in God in recovery) may well just be a side-effect of the high levels of dopamine as a result of frequent prolonged drug use. And it may be permanent.
Some of my most annoying Facebook “friends” are people I became acquainted with in rehab, who share Christian nonsense followed by “type Amen” all the time. I can’t bring myself to unfriend them somehow. The most annoying proponent of the sharing Jesus movement is a girl I remember from rehab who believed that she needed to eat sand. There was even a patch of sand set aside especially for her in the garden. (My greatest challenge in rehab was to refrain from pissing in her sand patch.) So ironically, some who hang on so desperately to Jesus in recovery may in my opinion do so simply because their brains are fried from all the drugs. Fortunately I’m not one of them. I guess I’m just lucky.

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Alt Left: The Real Reasons for Many Murders of Transwomen and Gay Bashings of Gay Men

Much has been written about how many transwomen are murdered. Many transwomen are indeed murdered. Whether these are the true transsexuals (homosexuals) or the transtrenders (transvestites, crossdressers, and autogynephiles) is not known. Many transwomen (men who think they are women) work as prostitutes. Many are not able to work in ordinary jobs, they often have very poor mental health that prevents them from working at regular jobs.
Transwomen have the highest rates of mental disorder of any group seen clinically. 90% of transwomen are significantly mentally ill, and they have everything under the book, from mood disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder to anxiety disorders of different kinds to personality disorders. They also have very high rates of paraphilias and sexual disorders and have rates of being convicted for sex crimes (these are the transtrenders). The transwomen working on the street are often homeless and many have drug and alcohol problems. Very high HIV rates have been found for transwomen prostitutes – up to 42%.
Although the murders of transwomen are tragic, it is helpful to note the circumstances under which these are occurring.
A lot of these murders occur when they are prostituting themselves, and their label doesn’t always say what’s in the bottle. In other words, they are out on the streets advertising themselves as female prostitutes. They get picked up by male clients thinking they are picking up a woman.
At some point, they are shocked to find that it is actually a man as many transwomen are pre-ops, that is, they take the hormones but they have not taken the surgery, so they look like women, have women’s breasts, and yet they still have penises. When the client finds out that this is a “woman with a penis” sometimes they fly into a rage and kill the transwoman in a blind rage murder of the type that men are susceptible.
A friend of mine picked up a “woman” in a cab and went home with “her” only find out halfway through the blowjob that it wasn’t a woman at all. He didn’t get violent but he was pretty freaked out and upset.
It’s pretty abusive for TIM’s to tell us other men that they are women, and we men get into dating/sexual stuff with them and suddenly find out they’re a guy. They’re men pretending to be women and worse they are not even telling everyone!
No one wants to hear this, but a lot of gay bashing is actually done to gay men who are openly propositioning straight men (like, say, grabbing their cocks?). I am not supporting bashing of course, and I have been gay-bashed three times myself, once with a baseball bat! So I’m not wild about gay men, but homophobes are 100X worse. Also, how come no one talks about straight men getting gay-bashed? It’s epidemic.
But it is actually true. Many gay bashings occur not just when gay men hit on straight men, which they do constantly, but when they won’t take no for an answer, which is all the time. You women think straight men are bad about not taking no for answer, well, gay men are 50X worse.
And no one talks about this either, but gay men are far worse than straight men as sexual harassers, in fact they wrote the book on sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is the unspoken norm in gay male society.
I do dislike gay men but I support them politically and even work on their campaigns. I dislike them because they have been hitting on me for decades, and they won’t take no for an answer. My reaction is similar to that of women mad at men over sexual harassment.
Yes, gay men sexually harass straight men. You cannot talk about this either because it is “homophobic.” When I lived in LA, I lived in a gay community for a while. Supposedly I was good-looking back and then had some male modeling offers. I had a couple of friends who were straight models who started out pro-gay but became almost violently homophobic over time due to constant harassment by gay men. Male models are not all gay. Actually 2/3 are straight.
Anyway, the place was swarming with gay men, and I would walk down the street, and all of them would be rubbernecking me in their cars driving by. I had one who waited outside my workplace every night right before work. I would go to the window and look out, and there he would be, staring right up at my window. I almost had a panic attack every time. And he would watch me like a hawk as I walked to my car.
When I would go to parties, etc. they would creepily stare at me for long periods of time.
I related this on my site and got called homophobe of course, but some of my female readers commented and said, “Ok, now you know what it feels like to be a woman!” And she was right. I didn’t like those gay men treating me like a piece of meat. Now if women want to, ok, maybe.
The generally feeling would best be described as unnerving, which may be how women feel with constant male sexual attention?
I also disagree that sexual harassment is driven by misogyny. As you can see, men harass other gay men worse than they harass women and gay men harass straight men like crazy.
Men sexually harass women because they are men, and that is what men, do – they sexually harass other humans?
It’s a more science-based theory.

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Alt Left: What Percentage of Homosexual People Is Acceptable To You in a Given Population?

Answered on Queera.

Believe it or not, all of the answers said that if a country’s population was 100% gay, that would be absolutely wonderful! I’m sure having all the population of your country gay would be the greatest thing since sliced bread! What the Hell’s the matter with people? It would be catastrophic for any country to be 100% gay, though we’re probably headed that way in the US at the rate we’re going here.

How could having 100% of the population of your country gay possibly be a good thing!? Color me mystified.

A given population as in for a country? 3%. That’s the percentage in the US, and it’s just fine by me. Understand that homosexuality is bad for society in the sense that it causes a lot of costly problems for society. Furthermore, taxes paid by gays do not make up for the costs that society incurs from homosexuals.

  • Homosexuals live 20 years less than heterosexuals. It is horribly sad for gay people that they miss out on so many years of wonderful life, but it seems to me that reduced lifespan is costly to society.
  • Gays have higher rates of mood and anxiety disorders. While this causes a lot of suffering to gay people, and this is sad, at the same time, mental illness is costly to society.
  • Gays have much higher rates of drinking, smoking, and drug abuse than straights. The gay male party and play scene revolving heavily around methamphetamine and club drugs is particularly alarming. Lesbians in particular smoke a lot. The costs of drinking, smoking, and drug abuse to gays themselves are no doubt significant in terms of disease, mortality, and the suffering that can come from excessive substance abuse; nevertheless, this incurs a lot of costs to society.
  • Gay men obviously have a very high STD rate. At 20% infection rate, the HIV rate is especially alarming. Most of these diseases remain confined to the gay community and have not broken out significantly to the straight community, with the exception of the Black community with all the down low men. But the great heterosexual HIV epidemic spreading from gays to straights never occurred mostly because HIV goes from men to women and then it stops, as spokesmen from the New York Department of Public Health said as early as the 1980’s. That’s not completely true, but it is very hard to get HIV from a woman. Hepatitis A, B, and C are or were   fairly to very common to in the gay community, vastly more common than among heterosexuals, most of whom only acquire B and C from IV drug use. Parasitical diseases such as shigella, ameobiasis, and giardiasis are also extremely common among gay men; whereas they are quite rare among straights. In recent syphilis epidemics, up to 85% of cases are among gay men. Syphilis is quite uncommon among straights. Gay men have elevated rates of anal cancer, and the rate is rising. The rate is vastly higher than the rate among straights. I would like to point out that it is gay men themselves who suffer most from these diseases, and this suffering, although self-imposed, is often tragic, horrifying, and heartbreaking in particularly in the heart-wrenching case of HIV. Lesbians have very low rates of STD’s but higher rates of breast cancer. I doubt if lesbians impose a disease burden on society. The very high gay male STD rate, in particular the HIV rate, obviously imposes considerable costs to society.
  • Tragically, gay men have a suicide rate 3X higher than straight men, even in San Francisco, the most gay-friendly place in the US. The attempted suicide rate is also very high. Gay male teenagers have a tragically very high attempted suicide rate at 8X the normal rate. Suicidal behavior causes unfathomable and heartbreaking suffering on gay men. However, attempted and completed suicides impose considerable cost on society.
  • Domestic violence rates are very high in gay and lesbian couples, especially the latter. A gay man is much more likely to beat his partner than a straight man is. A woman is much less likely to be beaten by a male partner than by a female partner. This causes immense suffering to the partners of gay and lesbian batterers. In addition, domestic violence is costly to society.
  • In gay areas, gay men typically take over all of the public restrooms and turn them into miniature sex clubs. This renders most public restrooms unusable by the rest of us. Most gay men typically vociferously support the use of public restrooms as sex dens for gays. I don’t have much sympathy here. Gay men are simply being very irresponsible with this depraved mindset. Further, this is a cost to society.

It is first of all most important to point out that gay men themselves suffer worst from most from these largely self-imposed conditions, a suffering so profound that it almost moves you to tears. Compassion is essential. Nevertheless, there is a cost to society. Some of these issues may be caused by discrimination (see the high teenage gay male attempted suicide rate), but there is a cost to society no matter what causes it. Some of these problems would lessen with increased acceptance of gays, but others would linger or possibly even worsen.

The question comes up whether gays pay for the costs they bring to society. Many gays seem to have above average intelligence for some reason, especially gay men. Gays seem more artistically talented than straights. More gays than straights seem to get college degrees, in particular gay men.
Gay men seem to earn higher than average wages and are disproportionately employed in high paying and prestigious professions.

I am always hearing about a homosexual, often a gay man, who is contributing something noteworthy and exemplary to our society such that it mentions a media notice. Obviously, gay men contribute more to the tax base per capita than straights. So gays, especially gay men, offer considerable benefits to society, not flowing from their homosexuality but from other aspects of their lives.

I have not discussed lesbians here because I know little about them, but I doubt that they impose serious costs on society other than reduced lifespan.

However the question rises whether gays pay for themselves. Despite their excellent contributions to society and their higher than normal tax contributions, I still do not think that homosexuals pay for themselves.

The question then arises about whether the rest of us should be willing to carry a small burden for our gay brothers.

Personally I feel that at 3%, I am willing to shoulder the costs of homosexuals to society, as the numbers are so small that it is something we can cope with. I would be willing to tolerate up to 6% gay men in society. I think we could deal at that rate. However, if the rate of male homosexuality went higher than that, all of these problems above would increase in scope with attendant costs.

Honestly, even when you get to 10% gay men in any country, your problems are going to go up a lot. The % of gay men in New York and San Francisco is quite high, and they definitely impose considerable costs on these cities. Once you start heading up to 15–20% of any country’s population being gay, I think it would be unsustainable for many reasons (see above).

Homosexuality in society seems to be one of those things, like many things in life, that is best in small doses.

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Sewer, "2154"


Supposedly this is the most pure evil and Satanic music being made today. Well they have a lot of competition. It is described as Blackened Metal Terror Goregrind. This album is called “the most haunting Terrorgore album in existence.”
Blackened Metal is absolutely a subgroup of Black Metal, which itself is quite evil and Satanic. In fact, Satanic is the very definition of Black Metal. Goregrind is also a genre of metal. This is hardcore heavy metal grind music set to gory themes. Never heard of Terror Goregrind or Terrorgore before.
This band claims to be part of a subgenre called Sewer Metal, which is supposedly the most evil Black Metal of all.
A number of Black Metal bands have come out and stated that they are racists, particularly White Supremacists. The band that nearly started the trend is a band out of Norway, a member of which blew his brains out with a shotgun. Another band member supposedly came to the crime scene and ate some of his brains. There was also a homicide associated with this band. There have been a number of other deaths associated with the genre, mostly suicides but a few homicides. Quite a few band members are described as deeply, nihilistically depressed. The music is very angry, and anger + suidicality is a very bad thing.
I don’t think too much of true evil or Satanists, but I very much enjoy this music. As an added bonus, these guys can really play. That guitarist is too much.

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Why Can't I Find Transgender People Aged above 40 in the Streets? Is Their Life Short Term?

Answered on Quora: 
Transsexuals do indeed have a shortened life expectancy.
Fully 42% of transsexuals attempt suicide. That is by far the highest attempted suicide rate of any group. It is higher than even any mental disorder, including Depression and Bipolar Disorder.
Fully 18% of transsexuals die of suicide even after transition. This is as high or higher than the most fatal mental disorders such as Major Depression.
If transgenderism were a mental disorder (it’s been removed from the latest manual), it would be one of the most troubled, dangerous, and lethal disorders of them all.
There are extreme differences between early onset and late onset transgenderism in males. The late onset variety is usually related to a fetish called autogynephylia, and it is not organic at all. I have known some late onset types, and I did not feel that they were women in men’s bodies at all. Their style of thinking, their interests, and their way of writing were still very male and even masculine. They had a very “male” way of viewing the world.
The early onset type seems to be an extreme form of homosexuality and may well be more organic or at the very least is organic in the sense that it is related to the homosexuality. The early onset types are much more feminine.
In conclusion, in my opinion, transsexuals are simply people who have a lot of problems. These problems often continue though at a lower rate after transition.
There is also a high rate of reverse transition. Fully 13% of transsexuals transition back to their original sex. Fully 70% of transsexual minors are no longer transsexuals if followed to age 18. That is, in 70% of cases of transgender children, the transgenderism vanishes by adulthood. Their transgenderism was a temporary condition or state of mind that they grew out of. The fact that they do this shows that transgenderism in many cases is not an organic condition.
The rate of transgenderism has gone up fully 600 times since the 1960’s. We should not be seeing an increase like that if this were truly an organic condition in most cases.

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Do Therapists Ever Think Their Clients are Unfixable?

Question from Quora:
Some people are utterly unfixable or even improvable, but they are quite rare.
There are clients who are just too far gone, and they cannot be helped at all. It is as if the person were a ceramic bowl that was dropped on a hard floor. The bowl is now in 100 pieces, and the person who dropped it is on the ground looking at the pieces and throwing up their hands. “Where do I start?” he asks in exasperation.
All sociopaths and psychopaths are unfixable by their very nature. We can’t cure the sociopathy and psychopathy because they don’t want to get better. They enjoy being antisocial, and they do not wish to change. However, we can get them to change their behavior. For instance, a homicidal sociopath may show up in the office. A good therapist may be able to convince this sociopath that acting on their homicidal fantasies would be one of the stupidest things that they could ever do. This sociopath may then be able to go through life without killing an innocent person. So we can’t fix sociopaths, but we can change their behavior somewhat, tone it down, or reduce the amount of damage they do to society.
All paraphilias are unfixable by their very nature. The paraphilia quite literally will not and cannot go away. It’s etched in stone.
Schizophrenia is largely unfixable. They need a great deal of medication, and even then in most cases, they are repeatedly hospitalized. A few can go on to lead somewhat normal or even successful lives, but these people still need continuous medication and regular psychotherapy. In addition, they need frequent interventions to stay out of the hospital.
Many illnesses such as OCD, Bipolar Disorder and Chronic Major Depression are unfixable by psychotherapy. Most of these people will need medication for the rest of their lives. However, psychotherapy can improve their conditions a lot at least in the first and last cases.
Long-term suicidality is very hard to fix. It tends to become chronic with repeated attempts over the years. The suicidal person is typically defiant and is furious with you for challenging their suicidality. You are expected to sympathize with their condition, which is actually a very bad idea. Most suicidal people are what I would call “defiantly suicidal.”
Personality disorders are generally incurable. Theoretically, they could be fixed, but these people almost never present for therapy, and when they do, it is often at the behest of others, and they do not really wish to be there or get anything done. People with personality disorders, like sociopaths, literally do not want to get better. They like their personality disorder, and they are incredibly resistant to change. There are some case reports of cures of personality disorders, but in general the prognosis is grave.
I have never been able to fix long term low self esteem, and I have tried with a few people. There is something about that condition that hammers itself into the brain as if into concrete. I do not know why, but long-term low self-esteem seems to be one of the hardest psychological problems to fix. Why this is, I have no idea. Perhaps someone else can offer some ideas.
In many cases, long-term mental disorders simply cannot be fixed or cured. However, with psychotherapy and drugs, people can often get much better than they were before. We need to stop thinking in terms of cures and start thinking in terms of amelioration.
I realize that many clinicians insist that most people can be fixed or cured of long-term conditions, but I think they are lying. They are probably trying to drum up business. Many clinicians fear that if word got out that a lot of long-term mentally ill people cannot be fixed or cured, people would stop coming in for therapy. There goes their paycheck. Therapists are a lot more money-oriented than most people believe, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I know this field very well.
Clinicians have nothing to worry about. Even if a lot of conditions could only be ameliorated and not fixed, I am sure a lot of folks would show up to try to get some improvement. Some mental disorders are so painful that any improvement feels like a miracle cure to the client. A lot of people have given up on being cured anyway, just want to at least get better and are quite happy to do so.

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False Memories in OCD

False memories are quite common when OCD gets bad. I have dealt with a number of people who were going round and round about false memories. They are not an extremely common symptom, but you do see them sometimes when the illness is bad. It’s generally a sign of a bad illness.
Ms. Z was periodically convinced that she killed people. She would have a conversation with someone for 5-10 minutes, then walk away ,and then suddenly think that she had killed them somehow during the conversation. Perhaps she had suddenly swung her fist out and beat them to death? Perhaps she had pulled out a knife and hacked them to death? Perhaps she had shot them with a gun? She would have all sorts of false memories of how she killed these people.
In the course of these false memories, she would become 100% certain that she had killed that person she was talking to in that store that day. In the next few days, she would ask around to people she knew if anyone got murdered or if she killed someone in the store that day. Of course she would always be told no. I’m sure her friends must have tired of answering these weird questions. As soon as she was told that no murder had occurred, immediately the firmly held belief that she had killed that person would vanish, and she would never think about it again. Until a little while later when she would be talking to someone again and then walk away and once again become convinced that she had killed that person…
Another woman, Ms. S., was a young college student. She was at a large California university that had a lot of long, winding trails with undergrowth. There were deep gullies on the sides of the paths that were overgrown with foliage. Ms. S. would be walking down the paths and as she walked, she passed all sorts of people coming her way. At some point, she would suddenly get an idea that she had grabbed one of the people coming her way and thrown them down into one of the gullies.
She had a pretty clear memory of who the person was she threw down there and exactly how she had done it. She would be overwhelmed with guilt, and she would take off down into the gully searching for the “body” of the person she had thrown down into the gulch. She did this on a pretty regular basis, and eventually the university wondered what she was doing floundering around in the gullies, and they sent the university police down there to see what she was up to. After a while, it become clear that she needed to go to the university counseling center.
In both cases, the women received a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder in addition to OCD. This was an incorrect diagnosis, and it was based on the fact that for a short while after Ms. S  was clamboring around in the gullies or after Ms. Z became convinced that she had somehow killed someone she was talking to, that both women were absolutely convinced that they had either thrown someone down into the gully or had killed the person they were talking to in the store.
The diagnosis was incorrect because as soon as the women were told that there was no one in the gully or that they had not killed the person in the store, the “delusion” completely vanished and they didn’t think of it again until next time. Delusions just don’t go away like that. It’s not a very strongly held conviction if can vanish with a mere word of reassurance.
We look at the whole process in a holistic sense. What is the nature of the process? Is this a characterological process (personality disorder), a mood process (mood disorder like Bipolar Disorder or Depression), an anxiety process (OCD, PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder) or a psychotic process (schizophrenia, manic psychosis, psychotic depression, schizoaffective disorder)? It is important to look at things in an intuitive sense and get the “smell” or “feel” of what the basic process is that you are dealing with.
In the case above, this is an anxiety process, specifically an OCD process. It’s not a psychotic process, despite the fact that it superficially resembles a psychosis.
Some of these folks with false memories actually go to the police station and turn themselves in for crimes that they did not commit.
“Hi, I am here to report a murder.”
“Ok, what happened?”
“Well I think I killed someone last night.”
“You think you killed someone?”
“Yes.”
“Well, where did this happen?”
“I am not sure. I think maybe the bridge over the river.”
“What time did this happen?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe midnight?”
“Who was the victim?”
“I’m not sure. I think it was a man, maybe.”
“What weapon was used?”
“I am not completely sure. I think it was a knife maybe.”
After a while the police started to get the message. He was not there to report a murder at all. He was there to find out whether or not he was a murderer!
As the conversation degenerated, the man started repeating, “How do you know if you killed someone or not?”
The police did not know what to say to that. After he left, the police were talking among themselves. “That’s so weird,” one of them said. “What does he mean, ‘How do I know if I killed someone or not?’ How could you not know something like that? That’s so weird.” The cops were shaking their heads.
 
As you can see, false memories are quite common in OCD when it gets very bad.
I dealt with them myself at one point in 1985 or 1986. I have to admit it was a pretty nutty way of thinking. I was so ashamed of my false memories (which I temporarily convinced myself were true) that I never told anyone except for a couple of therapists. I have not dealt with any false memory nonsense in over 30 years, and I hope I never have to deal with that again. It’s truly a crazy way to think.

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Thank God for That Feeling!

Really the optimistic and pessimistic views of life are both true and equally valid. This is what you figure out if you understand the Tao. Pessimism is a part of optimism and vice versa. Most of the time, it is the best of days and the worst of days, both at the same time. And that’s ok. That’s the Tao. The circle is completed. Once you realize that life is both wondrous and utterly horrible, often both at the same time, you feel greatly liberated and you no longer fear sadness or depression.
The main problem is that we are always trying to run away from our feelings. We have bad feelings and we run around like our the back of our shirt is on fire trying to toss of the flames of hell in our minds. This problem is compounded by therapists who too often try to get clients to stop thinking bad feelings and feel good ones instead. Problem is this does not really work. Say your marriage is breaking up. Even if you were in an abusive marriage, it’s still sad. And many people mourn the death of their marriage.
Usually a therapist will urge the client to not feel that way and instead be happy that the marriage is over. This is useless because the person is going to feel sad and mourn anyway. Clients should be encouraged to experience their bad feelings. Just sit and be alone with them. Meditate on them. If you are alone with your bad feelings for a while, often you get tired of bored with them and you don’t want to feel that way anymore. What really happened is you got the sadness or mourning  out of your system. If you run from it forever, you never get it out of your system. You have to stop running some time. And when you stop, here come your bad feelings, coming right up behind you. No matter how fast you run,  your feelings will always catch up to you.
Just as it is axiomatic that  you cannot run from your fears, similarly I doubt if you can run from your feelings. Feelings need to be allowed to come into consciousness, accepted and processed. After a bit of that, you may get tired of them, and now it is time to move along.
I have clients that are often dealing with a lot of unhappiness. I deal with suicidal people all the time. I have had clients attempt suicide on me right in the middle of a counseling stretch. I have already lost one client to suicide, but he was deeply depressed, had already attempted several times before, and when I first talked to him, he told me had a “suicide machine.” He had rigged up some sort of a device to give himself helium in order to commit suicide. Problem was it did not work very well.
The NHS in the UK really killed this man because they freaked out unnecessarily about his symptoms which sent him into a suicidal tizzy. He went away for a while and a few months later, I heard that three weeks after our last session, he was swinging from the ceiling of his home.
Increasingly I tell my clients who are dealing with sadness, depression and bad feelings  to just go ahead and experience that feeling. I say, “If  you feel sad, say ‘Thank God for that feeling!'” and you can go sit down somewhere and just get into the sadness of life, which is about 50% of it anyway. It is a legitimate part of life and it is ok to experience it without fear. The real problem is that people feel sad and start getting frantic trying to make the feeling go away. Go ahead and experience your feelings. They won’t bite. They’re yours. There’s no point running away from them if they’re yours.

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Psychopathology of Serial Murderers

The primary problem with almost all serial killers is simply ASPD, Antisocial Personality Disorder, (derived) sociopathy or (primary) psychopathy. It is present in almost 100% of such cases. Most everything else is rather secondary to this primary character disorder, which is the most prominent symptom.

Very rare is the serial killer without this disorder, although there have been a few. I remember a long-distance trucker who turned himself when he walked into a Northern California police station with a woman’s breast in his top shirt pocket. He had camped out in forests while trucking and had picked up women and killed them. He kept the body of one in the truck for three or four days and drove around with it.

Experts said he was quite unusual in that they said he actually felt bad about what he had done. I wonder how bad he really felt though. You could not get me to drive around in a truck with a dead woman in the back for very long. I would go into severe panic pretty fast, stop the truck, and get out, and start walking or probably running away.

I would not be able to walk around with a woman’s breast in my shirt for long either. I would completely panic almost right away, take the shirt off, throw it on the ground, and start running. But then I am a pretty guilty type person with a strong conscience.

Based on that, while I am sure he may have felt some guilt for his killings, the fact that he was able to drive around in a truck with a dead woman in the back for 3-4 days shows without completely flipping out shows to me that he didn’t feel that much guilt, certainly not on the level that most of us would.

And the fact that he could rather calmly walk into a police station with a cut-off breast in his pocket without flying into total panic shows to me that he didn’t feel that bad about it. So guilt, even when it is present, is not as strong as in most of us, otherwise they would not have even done such horrible things in the first place.

Sexual sadism is also often present, and I have heard that Sadistic Personality Disorder is very common. Juvenile delinquency, voyeurism, exhibitionism, burglary, prowling, petty thievery, etc. typically precede the serial killings. When the serial killer starts killing, he usually has a fairly long rap sheet of more minor offenses. The murders are best seen as an escalation of a chronic criminal character type.

The ones who kill children are typically though not always preferential or fixated pedophiles. Certainly the ones who kill only children are preferential pedophiles. There is a type of pedophile called a mysoped, which is a sadistic pedophile. They are not very common. I doubt if 5% of pedophiles are like this, but these people are very dangerous. Probably almost all serial child killers are mysopeds, and these crimes often have a sexual basis.

95% of rapists are the type that rarely if ever go serial, but the sadistic rapist, composed of no more than 5% of rapists, is very dangerous. Most if not all rapist serial killers are sadistic rapists.

The rage rapist is dangerous, but he generally does not intend to kill his victim although he assaults her. If she fights back or gets difficult, he can fly into a rage and beat her so badly that she dies, but again he usually does not intend to kill. I doubt if these types go serial much if at all. Serial killers intend to kill; rage rapists do not.

Malignant narcissism, the disorder, believe it or not, of our wonderful President, is also present sometimes. Ted Bundy was a malignant narcissist. Yes, our wonderful President has the same mental illness as Ted Bundy! Comforting thought.

A few have Schizoid Personality Disorder, and some of the more disturbed ones have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Schizotypal, Paranoid, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders are rarely if ever seen in serial killers. Schizotypals are probably too disorganized and decompensated and just out and out strange to commit such crimes. The serial killer must blend in, and schizotypals do not do that. A few schizotypals have committed mass murders. James Holmes the Aurora Batman Theater Shooter, was a notable case. But note that he was caught immediately.

Paranoid PD is rarely if ever seen. These people tend to be rather retiring and like to hide away from a hostile world. They also do not like to call attention to themselves from a hostile world. They are suspicious and distrustful by nature, and this makes it hard for them to blend in well with ordinary society as serial killers often do.

Narcissists are usually too self-centered to kill. While narcissists are often very mean, the disorder is usually well-controlled in that the rage rarely escalates to homicide. There have been a few cases of NPD’s committing mass murder, usually of their families. The case of Jeffrey MacDonald, the mass murdering physician of Fatal Vision, seems to be such a case. This is a superb true crime book by the way.

Also narcissists think that if they kill, they will get caught, and if they are in prison or jail they will not be able to live this wonderful life they are supposed to be killing. They are “too cool to kill.”

Killing would mess up all their wonderful plans to exploit others and hold them up to contempt by millions of people, which the narcissist would have a hard time taking. The narcissist is “too good for prison.” Prison would be such a crushing blow to their self-image that it would very hard to take.

However, malignant narcissists can be very dangerous because this is a combination of psychopathy, sadism, Paranoid PD and Narcissistic PD. When you weaponize NPD with paranoia, sadism and particularly psychopathy, you create a dangerous illness.

Cluster C Personality Disorders like Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder, Self-Defeating Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder are rarely if ever present in these types. These are PD’s where aggression is mostly displayed passively, and serial killers display aggression actively, not passively.

Mood disorders do not seem to be common. Bipolar Disorder is not common, and serial killers are rarely if ever depressed. They displace guilt and loathing outwards instead of pushing it inside of themselves as depressives do.

Depressives are passive, and depression acts as sort of a freezing agent in that it tends to immobilize people by its nature.

Men in general tend to either experience less depression than women or mask it with other things such as anger and rage, drinking, drugs, gambling, promiscuity, or even workaholism. It is simply not acceptable as a man to be depressed, so depressed men simply channel their depression into other things and say they are not depressed, they are just drunks or workaholics, for instance.

Substance and alcohol abuse issues are quite common with serial killers, but the better ones are more sober, as drinkers and dopers tend to be scattered and unreliable, and serial killers must be on the ball  24-7.

Only a few are psychotic. 2% of serial killers are psychotic. Psychotic people can barely organize a trip to the bathroom. How are they going to plot out elaborate and professional serial homicides?

They are motivated by many things, but your typical rape-murders or murders of attractive young women almost always have a sexual component. I would call these serial killings lust murders. The Germans coined the term.

Even among the lust-murders, there are a number of different types. Some are motivated by purely sexual desires, others get off specifically on killing and the power gained from it, others are hunter types who get pleasure from the hunt and chase as if they were hunting an animal, which they are of course, but when we refer to hunters, we are always talking about hunters of non-human animals.

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Intelligence and Income Are Poorly Related, Part 4,860

Terrance: Do you know if the internet has any serious IQ tests? 2 years ago, wondering where I could know mine for sure, you told me that my university has a psychologist who does IQ testing. It turned out it doesn’t, or rather, they don’t want random guys passing the test because it takes 4 hours off their schedule and they’re busy.
But I do agree with those who say, that these tests are a waste of time if nobody, public or private sector, takes them into account. What a worker needs is obedience, not the quickest brains. What a careerist needs is ambition and social skills. What self-employed people need is discipline. If you aren’t any of that, it’s too bad, but I’d rather be one of the three than doing brain virtue signalling the rest of my life with other lonely gifted people.

This is sorry. I thought it was law that grade schools, high schools and universities have to give you a test if you ask for one. On the other hand, if you already got a score, they might not give you another one.
I would say to go to the Psychology Department and ask to be tested. There are quite a few Psychology professors there, and most are either Psychiatrists or Clinical  Psychologists I would imagine. I would think one of them might give you a test just for fun. Plus they sort of feel obligated.
You were absolutely tested in grade or high school. You had to be. It’s usually state law to give all students this test. You have access to your score from whichever school you took the test from. Ask your mother or father. They were definitely told your score.
An IQ test is a test of raw brain speed. This is why it is annoying that so many people insist that IQ tests do not measure intelligence. For Chrissake, what better measure of intelligence is there other than a test of how fast your brain works? Intelligence means the speed of your brain and not much else.
What is stupid about this is that idiots who say that IQ tests don’t mean anything are actually saying that it doesn’t matter how fast your brain works. Faster brains are no more intelligent than slower brains. Very slow brains may be the smartest of all and very fast brains are among the dumbest out there.
What sort of BS sense does that make? The speed of your brain does not matter in terms of job, career, income and so many other things? Most jobs don’t care how fast your brain works? Are you kidding me? That’s a pretty stupid thing to say!
Low IQ people have brains that do not work very fast when they work at all. Average IQ people have brains that work at the average speed for a human being in that country. High IQ people have brains that work fast. As you go up on the scales, you get brains that work faster and faster. Gifted people have brains that work faster than 98% of the population. Geniuses or genius IQ scorers are as common as dirt as there are 3.3 million geniuses. One out of every 100 Americans has a genius IQ. It’s not as impressive as you think. But these people have brains that actually work faster than 99% of the population.  Then you get to Cerebral Aliens who have brains that work faster than 99.9% of the population.
Problem is that when you to right around this point, IQ stops being adaptive and life outcomes in terms of job title, career and income start to decline. With every increased IQ point, these things decline more and more on a direct linear basis. Hence you have the smartest man on Earth, Christopher Langan, dropping out of university, and working at all sorts of working class jobs his whole life such as truck driver, lumberjack and bar bouncer. And you have the 160+ IQ men profiled earlier on this site who are actually so smart that their intelligence is actually a disability as opposed to a gift.
The reason is that as IQ climbs to 145 and above, people start getting weird and out there. With every IQ point rise,  they get stranger and stranger and often more and more introverted, socially awkward, lonely and celibate.
At some point, their IQ is so high that they are nearly nonfunctional and they can function only at a low level in society when they can function at all.
They are getting to the point where they are actually so damn smart that they are pretty much too smart to even function in society!
Sidis is said to be the smartest man who ever lived. He dropped out of university after dazzling professors and students alike at his school. He become very introverted, stayed inside most of the time, had few or no friends. was very lonely, never made a nickel and turned into an early trainspotter, as he become  utterly obsessed with bus schedules, making a vast collection of them and writing up many reports with graphs and figures about the various bus schedules.
The commenter is correct. And many high IQ and very high IQ people lack ambition, discipline, social skills and obedience or any combination of the above.
This is probably the reason you have so many high IQ people who are living at or near the poverty level. I could give you the names of five people right now who have IQ’s of 140-150.
One is an older woman, but she spent her whole life as a housewife. She did work a bit at the end, but she never made much money. I think the best job she had was paralegal and she was actually fired from that job I believe, the only job she was ever fired from. Office politics was the reason.
Three others are in their 50’s with IQ’s ranging from 140-147.
One never made more than $20,000 in their life. They have a variety of degrees – four the last I checked. Like the person below, they have a Masters Degree. This person works very little due to illness and lives off their savings. Prior to becoming ill, they worked or were in school the whole time. They had some decent jobs for a while there, but they really only worked full-time for 10-15 years. The rest of the time, they were in school.
The other worked at working class jobs their whole life and only obtained a university degree very late in life. They now have a BA and an MA. Sadly, very soon after they got that degree, they developed a very bad injury and were disabled. This person is presently collecting Disability, but they worked or were in school most of their life and they are in their 50’s. They never made any real money though.
The other made money at one time, but he is very mentally ill. He has Bipolar Disorder since age 21 or so, and as a result, he is manic most of the time. The drugs do not control his illness well and he is always symptomatic. His mania has been of the psychotic type very early on and if you did not know better, you would think he had schizophrenia. That is because he has delusions that are very schizophrenic-like. For instance, he gets messages from the TV. The weatherman might say, “It is going to rain tomorrow,” and that is actually a secret message telling him to go the store and buy a pack of cigarettes. Which he must do and promptly does.
He has been hospitalized over and over. I recently took a trip with him and it was a nightmare. It’s a good thing the trip ended when it did because if it went on much longer, I would have had to kill the guy. And like many schizophrenics, he never completely abandons his delusions. He still believes that the Objectivists are out to get him and they chase him on the road sometimes. He still believes that he is in fact Jesus Christ. In 1980, the DSM changed and a lot of people who had been called schizophrenic were thrown over to mood disorder, mostly to Bipolar Disorder and Major Depression.
Another was afflicted with Major Depression at a very early age of around 19 or so. They were pulled out of university, but later they went back and got a BA. They soon got on Disability after long being afflicted with Major Depression. They have had the diagnosis ever since and have never worked a real job except for one minor job as a s teenager. They did come out of the illness once when put on a certain drug. The illness lifted and they were able to get a good job at the Welfare Department of a large city. They soon got in trouble at the job and were fired after four months. This of course spun them back into a serious depression that they have been in ever since. Except for four months out of their life, this person has never made any money at all.
All five of these people are very smart, but most of them have hardly made a nickel in their lives. But note that four of them have some sort of injury or illness preventing them from doing much work, and three actually collect Disability. Surely physical and  mental handicaps can seriously get in the way of achievement for very high IQ people. It certainly stands to reason.

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Is There Such a Thing as Very High IQ Behavior?

Rowlii writes:

Thanks for your answer. Is there a “High IQ” behaviour?

Sort of, but not really. My mother and and all of my siblings have very high IQ’s (140+), and we are all quite different. However, three of us are quite shy and are probably introverts. The other one is more introverted than he lets on.
It is hard for me to answer this question because I have not known the IQ’s of most of the people I have known in my life. I know the IQ’s of my family members, but I never learned the IQ’s of many of my friends or even the vast majority of my girlfriends. This is not to mention the more casual acquaintances I have run into. So I have only really known maybe ~13 people in my whole life who had very high IQ’s. Obviously I have run into a lot more high IQ people than that, but in the course of life, you usually never learn the IQ’s of most of the people you meet and hang out with.
Of those 13 people, they were sometimes a bit different from each other. I wish I could say that there was something stringing them together, but I cannot.
It also depends on what you mean by high IQ. Very high IQ is usually defined as 140+ (top 1%). High IQ might be defined as 130+ (top 3.5%) or maybe even lower. It depends on where you set the bar.
Some of us are a lot more extroverted than others. I am shocked at how extroverted many very high IQ women are. Very high IQ men tend not to be so extroverted, but some of them are quite capable extroverts. Many seem quite normal, even shockingly normal. One of the sanest men I have ever met had an IQ of 160. He is also the highest IQ person that I have ever known. On the other hand, there also seems to be a tendency towards mental illness, in particular depression and manic depression. Somehow there is a connection between very high IQ and mood disorders.
I do not know any very high IQ people who have Aspergers. This is largely a myth. We are a lot better at socializing than you might think. I don’t know any very high IQ people who are social retards. I know some who are assholes, but social retards, no. Social skills and figuring your way around human interaction is an intellectual skill, and it can be learned. Most of the very high IQ people I have known seem to have learned that skill quite well.
There are a lot of questions along these lines on Quora under the IQ topic, and a lot of very high IQ people are answering those questions. The questions are along the lines of “What is it like to have an IQ of 140/150?”, etc. Then a lot of very high IQ people answer the questions. People who are interested in the topic may want to head over there are read what those people say. There are of very smart, interesting, wise and eloquent people writing over there, and you can learn quite a few things from the handy to the esoteric.
One of the answers that you see over and over is that very high IQ people say they see patterns everywhere. Many say that they are always observing all the time and looking for underlying patterns in everything they see and everywhere they go. They’re always trying to put it all together, see the big picture, or view the world in a holistic way.
To answer a question in a holistic way is to see things in a larger pattern of the whole question, so to speak, taking into account everything. It’s another way of saying seeing the whole picture. We try not see the trees and miss the forest, if you catch my drift. Sure, we look at individual trees and groups of trees and even try to figure out what they mean or relationships between them, but at the end of the day, we still want to put all of those individual trees together into some sort of a forest.
I would say that very high IQ people are a lot smarter than you think they are. You might think that they are out to lunch, but most of them are very much on the ball. I had a girlfriend with an IQ of 140, and she immediately got all of my jokes and funny little comments. It was like instantly, bam! Also I did not have to explain many things to her. She just got most things BOOM like that as fast as you could blink your eyes.
I got to know a woman with a 156 IQ recently, and she was fast as lightning. She understood everything you said and was also very curious. If she didn’t understand anything you were saying, she would ask you to explain it. Then I would explain it to her and even if it was something that she did not know much about, and when I explained it to her, she caught on very fast.
There was none of this, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” One thing that amazed me about her was how I could be talking about a subject that she obviously knew little about, and she would ask me to explain the concept. And she would pick up this previously unknown concept very quickly, faster than almost anyone I have met. When I was talking with her it was just BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM like that.
I like to play games with speech and toss in esoteric comments, analogies, references to movies, books, songs, famous people and events, sayings, famous lines and riddles. A lot of these might be odd little puns of worldplay. If you have ever read James Joyce, I am doing something like that, just playing games with language and also with knowledge. A lot of the time people don’t have the faintest idea what I am doing, so I try not to do this too much, but when I am on the ball, I can do this like crazy.
Most people think I am insane or very weird but some smart people can catch all the little jokes and references. I am not crazy at all. I am talking like that on purpose.
Sometimes I speak on multiple levels. I might say something easily understandable to anyone, but if you listen closely I am also throwing in things on a higher level so the message really has two levels, a simple lower level with the basic meaning and a higher level where I am often playing games.
I will throw in some line out of a book, a reference to an actor or a band or this or that in there. Most people don’t get the weird little word games, but it doesn’t matter because there is a basic message on the lower level in there that can be easily read and comprehended and the word games don’t mean anything anyway as I am just playing games with language and knowledge. It all depends on which levels you want to read the speech on.
Some very high IQ people are very fast. I have been told that I am fast too. Some people say that sometimes I have these funny little micro-movements around my face, mostly around my eyes but sometimes in my mouth too. One  person called them micro-emotions or micro-reactions. They say it doesn’t really look nervous but instead it almost looks there’s a fast computer in back of my face and all those little movements are the thing processing data.
A lot of the time I answer a question almost as soon as it has been asked. Sometimes I even start to answer it or I start nodding my head halfway through the sentence because I already know what the person is going to say in the rest of the sentence. Sometimes I finish people’s sentences for them.
Nothing much gets past me. I hear everything you say, and I am probably watching everything you do. I’m usually not confused. Life is not very confusing. This can work well for social skills because if you get that supercomputer working socially, you can respond to all of the little subtle changes in the conversation as it slowly changes as you are engaging in it.
Conversations are changing all the time, and you are supposed to be reacting to most everything the other person is saying or doing. They make a little movement, and you try to interpret and make some movement back. You respond emotionally to their remarks and even to their little micro-emotional changes. In a good, on the ball conservation there might be maybe 10 or more reactions and counter-reactions in a minute.
I am not sure if this is really a good thing because instead of seeing me as some with-it super smart social genius or saying,”Wow look at that guy, he seems like he has a Cray computer in back of his face – he’s so fast,” instead most people seem to think that I am weird. I am not sure why that is. Sometimes I think they are on a different wavelength than I am. I think they just don’t get it. They don’t get me.
A lot of very high IQ people will tell you that they feel that they are misunderstood. People misjudge them, misunderstand what they are saying, and either don’t understand them or read their comments in a completely different way than how they were intended. They read funny and sometimes false motives into our speech and behaviors that we did not intend to put out. This is because they are not understanding what we are trying to convey with our speech and behaviors. Once again, I think most people are just on some other wavelength than people like me and that’s why they seem to misunderstand us so much.
Very high IQ people will often say that they are good at making decisions and that they tend to make intelligent decisions because they weigh all of the possible answers to the question very carefully. On the other hand, I know some very high IQ people who live their lives idiotically and make the stupidest decisions. But that’s not because they are stupid, that’s more because of personality issues, in particularly massive psychological defenses that get in the way of rational behavior.
Just because you have a very high IQ is not guarantee against being crazy or building crazy, disordered and excessive defense systems that lead to characterological problems. Most of the poor life decisions I see very high IQ people making are not due to doing dumb things but instead there is some mental disorder going on there that is messing up their behavior.  Very high IQ people can definitely have characterological problems where their defensive structures have gotten so bizarre and excessive that they start to cause a lot of crazy and irrational behaviors.
I am not sure about people from 130-139 (high IQ or near genius), but I think they function better than a lot of us very high IQ types. With us very high IQ types, our IQ’s are so high that they are starting to get in the way of our lives, and they might even be making us strange or mentally disordered. The high IQ type is very, very smart, but an IQ in the 130’s is not going to have that correlation with mental illness and weirdness that you start seeing in some people above 140.
I have seen people in the 130’s who were very smart, and they were also superb social actors, very extroverted, etc. I spent a lot of time with two men. One had an IQ of 139, and another had a 135 IQ. It would be quite hard to say that I was smarter than either of them, and they were both whip-fast sharp, especially the 139 IQ guy, who is a relative. He is just BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM. He has also been an alcoholic for decades which has wrecked his life, but he is still whip-fast smart despite the decades of booze.
Once you get into the high IQ range (130-150), I don’t see a lot of differences between me and someone with an IQ of say 129-139. They seem like they are about as smart as I am. Past a certain point, I do not think the scores mean all that much. You end up with really smart people and there’s probably not a lot of observable difference between really smart people even if one is smarter than the other. You’re probably not going to be able to see how the higher IQ person is smarter because the differences all seem to wash out at high IQ levels.
Frankly I do not think that most of you want to be as smart as I am. Yes, there is huge upside, but there is also a massive downside at least for me. The downside is probably avoidable, but you still might get it. Sometimes I think it is better not to be this smart. I am so smart that it almost gets in the way of life, and most of you might not want to live like that.

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How Societal Ignorance of Mental llness Contributes Greatly to Lack of Insight in Bipolar Disrder

There also often problems with insight in the manic phase of Bipolar Disorder or Manic-Depression, whereas people who are depressed typically realize that they are depressed. I am not sure why mania is associated with lack of insight, but it often is.

Of course there is typically no insight during psychotic mania, but there is often no insight whatsoever during even hypomania. The lack of insight during hypomania is usually because the person is feeling so good that they don’t could possibly be ill, but I assure you that they are. The hypomanic typically says, “I have never felt better in my life!” It is hard to convince someone they are ill when they’re on top of the world and feel like a million bucks.

Another serious problem is society.

I have told you that I don’t like people much because they are stupid and this i+s one more example of that. Ordinary people are preposterously ignorant of mental illness of all kinds. There is no reason to be this way, and people have simply chosen to become ignorant about this issue out of their own free will.

Our society also stigmatizes mental illness, so that makes it so in general you can never discuss the subject in polite company without violating social rules and seeing people try to shut you down. People are ignorant of mental illness because of stigma which means that they are not even supposed to talk, read or think about it. So people have refused to educate themselves in part due to stigma.

Understanding and recognizing the symptoms of common mental illnesses is not particularly difficult, and I feel that anyone with a 100 IQ ought to be able to learn such things.

Tragically, Bipolar Disorder is one of the most misunderstood illnesses of all, and the vast majority of people, when presented with a person who is floridly manic or even hypomanic will typically not understand what is going on at all. Florid manics are often accused of being bad people, criminals, psychopaths, evil or on drugs.

I must admit that if you do not know what you are looking for, it is hard to figure out what is wrong with a floridly manic person. Instead of being high as a kite and happy, floridly manic people are often irritable, angry, aggressive, menacing, threatening, violent, paranoid and miserable. They often start using drugs or drinking with the onset of the episode, which makes diagnosis even trickier.

People seem to be even worse at recognizing hypomania. Hypomanics are often witty, charming, extroverted, ecstatically happy and full of wild plans. They can’t stop talking, they are full of wild confidence and they’re always ready for a party.

I have seen many people observe wildly hypomanic people and come away saying that they are the coolest around because they can be so effusive, engaging and spellbinding. I often try to tell these that the person is actually mentally ill, but they refuse to listen to me and shut me down.

So the problem in mania is not only that the manic usually has no clue that they are ill, but also 90% of the ignorant people in society refuse to believe they are mentally ill.

It’s a perfect storm for epidemic lack of insight, and it really doesn’t have to be that way.

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Robert Stark Interviews Robert Lindsay about the Oregon Shooter

There is a new interview with me up. Mostly about the latest mass shooting. Give it a listen and let me know what you think.

Here.

Another Incel Shoots up College, 10 Dead, 7 Wounded
4Chan Subculture and the Post on R9K Predicting the Shooting
Beta Uprising
How America’s Hyper-individualism and Atomization Leads to Mass Shootings
The Oregon School Shooter and Asperger’s
Misanthropy
Depression and Suicide
Homicidal Fantasies
Study: Males and Females Differ in How They Rate the Attractiveness of the Opposite Sex
What Is This Man Doing Wrong? ( Why hasn’t Game Worked?)

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Robin Williams Repost

I am sorry if you folks find this in bad taste, but in commemoration of Robin Williams’s suicide, I am going to repost my prior article, The Impossibility of Dealing with Suicidals.
I always loved Robin Williams, and I am heartbroken that he decided to take this step. I am usually opposed to people killing themselves. I generally think it is the wrong thing to do. I say stick it out. I have been through a lot of pain myself, and I never tried to kill myself, though for a whole year there, that was all I thought about.

The Impossibility of Dealing with Suicidals

Depression is not really “insanity” but it is extremely common, even in regular, ordinary people like you and me.
I work as a counselor, and trust me, depression is everywhere. And many ordinary, regular people like you and me are actually secretly suicidal. I deal with suicidals all the time, and in recent years, I know three people, all around age 50-55, who either attempted it or seriously threatened to do it. I am guessing that maybe 50-55 is a tough age, no?
Depressives are hard enough to work with (Personally, I find them impossible and often refuse to work with them or flat out tell them that I cannot help them) but suicidals are absolutely impossible. I can’t work with them at all, and they don’t want me to work with them because I usually get mad at them for being suicidal. I do not know how to deal with people like that, and I much admire anyone who can deal with such folks. They demand that you feel “compassion” for the fact that they are suicidal, but how can you do that without cheering them on? Truly a no-win situation.
True suicidals are utterly determined to take their own lives and they are 100% ok with that idea. They get furious if you try to stop them, and they are enraged if you find them half dead, call an ambulance and save their lives. I have had suicidals scream at me in their hospital beds, cursing me for saving their lives. I hate to say it, but they are impossible to deal with.
Fortunately, a lot of suicidals come out of it and don’t want to do it anymore, so that is a cure I suppose. But while they are in the midst of it, it is truly a nightmare. I am not opposed to hospitalizing them frankly. In a very real sense, a suicidal is truly out of their minds in a way, and at any rate, they are surely a danger to themselves if not to others, and actually some of them are dangerous to others too.
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New Interview with Me Up!

Robert Stark has just posted a new interview with me on his website. Most of this interview was taken up discussing the Eliot Rodger case which I previously wrote about on this blog.
Topics include:

  • Elliot Rodgers Manifesto
  • Mental illness versus situational mental torment
  • Aspergers Syndrome
  • Bullying in adolescence
  • Elliot’s incidences of rage
  • Elliot’s racial identity
  • Narcissism and fluctuations in self esteem
  • The “nice guy” theme
  • Social Isolation
  • PUA Hate & Incels
  • Robert Lindsay’s misogynist and racist phases in the past

I hope this interview isn’t too too controversial, but you know me! Don’t worry, I didn’t call him a hero or anything like that. However, I did read through his entire 137 page manifesto. It was a sad, sad story, especially from age 12 on.
Everybody seems to be getting this case wrong. The only sensible proposal to come out of this is for more gun control, say of automatic weapons maybe? The rest of the proposals make no sense. I will list them below.
We need to focus more on the treatment of the mentally ill! A favorite of the gun nuts, they use this to deflect attention from a society packed to the gills with high-powered weapons. Their line – Guns don’t kill people, crazy people kill people! Some of the truly insane proposals that have followed have been along the lines of that anyone who has ever been prescribed a psychiatric drug, been in therapy or sought help for a mental illness be prevented from owning a gun.

  1. He was sad.
  2. He was bad.
  3. He was way, way too shy.
  4. He wasn’t getting any sex, but that’s not in the DSM yet.
  5. Foremost, he had a completely lousy, malignant personality which at the end of the day is why he went on his spree.

Main problem here. Eliot Rodger wasn’t crazy! He wasn’t nuts, loony, mentally ill or any of that. What was he? First of all, he was sad. That’s called depression and it’s not insanity. A quarter of the country is probably depressed.
Second, he was bad. Eliot Rodger was simply a bad person. Most of his problems were flowing from his personality disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But people on Axis 2 (personality disorders) are not crazy. What is wrong with them? They are sick, twisted, and warped. They have lousy personalities. At their core, they have what we might call a bad character. In other words, they are simply bad people. Most, but not all people with Axis 2 stuff are lousy people or annoying idiots, and quite a few of them are out and out bad people. Lousy human beings. Jerks. Tools. You get the picture. Since Rodger was not nuts, there was nothing that the mental health system could do for him.
He had some problems for which he was seeking help, but those problems were not due to mental illness. They were due to excessive shyness, extreme social inhibition and social phobia. None of these things mean you are crazy. They are more or less just what I might call “problems in living.” Some people get themselves worked into such a state of extreme shyness that it is just not healthy. But that doesn’t mean they are nuts. What does it mean? It means they are way, way too shy. That’s all.
Yes he wasn’t getting any sex. I suppose a lot of guys who are not getting any sex show up for therapy. There is not mental illness called No Sex Disorder. If you’re getting laid, that doesn’t automatically mean you are nuts. What does it mean? It means you aren’t getting laid. That’s what it means.
Last of all, he was bad. Most people even with that malign Axis 2 disorder do not do the things that he did. Eliot had grown to hate first females, then men who were successful with women, and lastly just about everyone in the whole world. He didn’t care about their lives anymore and he fantasized all the time about murdering them, torturing them, slowly peeling their skins off, etc. Although he started out as an empathetic youngster, the constant rejection hardened him, turned him misanthropic and led to him to lose empathy for much of humankind.
His heart was full of hate for the world and he wanted to destroy as much of humanity as he could. Does that  mean you are crazy? Not necessarily. Just because you shot up a shopping meal doesn’t automatically mean you are nuts. What does it mean. It means you were very, very angry. You were also probably extremely sad, possibly suicidal. Last, it means you were a very bad person. You hated the whole world, and you had no empathy for anyone in it. In short, a person like that is evil. Probably at one time, they were not evil, but life circumstances had turned them into monsters.
The suggestions don’t make sense.
You already can’t get a gun if you have been hospitalized for mental illness here in California. Further restrictions on the “mentally ill” people’s right to own a gun are silly and probably won’t pass anyway.
The feminists are ranting and raving about misogyny. “Misogyny! Misogyny! Misogyny! Misogyny! Misogyny! Misogyny!” they scream. Their argument is that the US is a horribly misogynistic society. But it isn’t. It is probably one of the least misogynistic societies on Earth. Yes there are misogynists, but these guys exist everywhere. Do the feminists really think that jumping up and down yelling “Misogyny!” is going to make all these ugly misogynistic men think twice about their mindset and quit hating women? I doubt it.
I can see the feminists raiding the incel forums now. “You are misogynists!” They scream.
“Yeah we are. What about it, cunts?” the incels reply.
“Stop being misogynistic! It’s evil!” they scream.
“No it isn’t. What’s evil is women. And by the way, fuck off bitches and go away.”
I don’t think all this screaming about misogyny is going to have much of an effect. It would be nice if it did.
The feminists are also ranting about entitlement! Why, Eliot Rodger felt entitled to have sex with women, they screech. No man is entitled to have sex with any of us ever! they howl.
I can see the incels replying, “Ok so what you bitches are saying is you have the right to deny any of us sex with a year, a decade, multiple decades or even a lifetime. If we never get lucky, too bad. We need to die virgins then. Women have the right to hold out on us forever.”
“Yes that’s right,” the harpies shriek, “You only get sex when we feel like giving it to, which might  just be never, who knows! You are not entitled bla bla.”
I simply cannot see this argument going over with the incels. Are they supposed to be overjoyed that women deny them sex for months, years, or even decades? This is all perfectly cool – it’s no problem? The incels and most men are not going to find that argument to be persuasive. In fact all it will do is make them mad.
“Ok so really we have no right to sex, then. Well, guess what? Fuck you bitches.”
There is a lot of ranting about the Manosphere, the PUA Zone, MRA’s and whatnot for fostering a culture of misogyny. There were plenty of misogynists before there was an Internet. This stuff is as old as Adam and Eve, that stupid bitch. Sure the Manosphere is a hateful, ugly, vicious place where hypermasculine tools tromp all over women and the 80% of male population they deep to be wimpy inferiors. The misogyny on those sites is horrid, as is the scary, violent presence of many very mean men trying to act like the baddest dude in the room by starting fights with all the other guys.
In fact the misogyny and male strutting is so awful that I can barely stand to read those sites. That stuff is so unpleasant and makes me so unpleasant that I usually have to leave.
So all of these ugly sites are now going to introduce a “no misogyny” policy? Forget it, ain’t going to happen. First of all, they would have to ban 80% of their commenters. Second, these sites are all run by misogynistic men who are happy being sexist jerks and do not with to change.
Nothing good is going to come of this terrible act by a sad and evil man. It’s just another sad chapter in our lives, and that’s all you can say about it. That, and you ain’t seen the end of this. I am afraid there will be more Elliot Rodgers. Which is terrible. And sad.

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Columbine Shooter Eric Harris' Journal Entries

Scary stuff!
Harris was apparently a full blown psychopath, and Dylan Klebold instead was just severely depressed. Klebold was more the follower type and Harris was the messianic type. Horrible crimes with accomplices typically have paradigms like this. One is the messianic leader and the other is the follower.
It is not often known, but depressives can be quite angry. I have known many depressives, particularly older females, in whom the main symptom was simply smoldering rage. Many depressed men are quite angry. Quite a few mass shooter cases which often end in suicide or “suicide by cop” are done by depressed males. Homicidal fantasies are quite common in depression. Not as common as suicidal fantasies, but still common. Look how many homicides are murder-suicides. These are usually done by depressed males going out in a blaze of glory determined to take someone with them.

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More OCD and Psychosis: Differential DX

Let us look at some more cases from the Internet.
Case 1 here and here.

I’m trying to pin down one of my major symptoms that can and has completely impaired my life. My OCD revolves around harm, such as fears that I will harm someone, violent thoughts of harming someone, and even urges to harm someone. I don’t think I want to hurt anyone, but my OCD tells me differently. Sometimes I will get a violent thought when I am standing near someone, and I will not hurt them, but I will quickly walk away to avoid any chance of ever acting on my thought/urge.
Ok, here’s the weirdest part: Later on, after I have walked far away from people in order to avoid hurting them, I believe that I actually did hurt someone after all, and that my memory of avoiding him/her is a false memory, or I just forgot the true memory of actually harming the person in question. I truly have believed many times that I was a murderer, despite tons of evidence to the contrary.
Looking back, I realized I’ve wasted so much time believing I’d done something terrible and waiting to be locked up forever. However, at the time, my beliefs were unshakable and persisted despite all the evidence that my family/friends/counselor threw at me to try to convince me that I had done nothing wrong.
I think my OCD may involve hallucinations as well. Whenever I think I may have harmed someone I hear police/ambulance sirens. Coincidence? Maybe, I’m not sure. When my OCD started to improve at school I was hearing less sirens.
This is the situation I’m in. It started with me walking beside people on my (very hilly) campus that has a lot of ravines. I got the anxious thought “What if I pushed someone into one of the ravines?” So I’d actually go DOWN into ravines to search for bodies. Crazy huh?
Well, it got crazier. One day, the thought or belief (delusional) came into my mind: I DID push someone into the ravine and kill him/her. I compulsively searched, but I couldn’t search very well because I was embarrassed and scared because I was getting weird looks.
So I dropped out of school. And I believe that there is STILL a body in one of those ravines (even though I called my counselor numerous times asking if there were missing students and she always said no) and I checked the news for five weeks – nothing. No evidence, but I still believe I killed somebody.
I had to drive today as an OCD exposure and I had to drive very close to a bicyclist because he was hogging the road. I drove as far away from him as possible, even onto the curb to avoid him. Of course my senses were heightened and I would have felt a bump even if I sideswiped him, which I don’t think I did.
There was no damage to my car or anything, and when I drove back on the opposite side of the road cars were driving normally and I didn’t see emergency vehicles but I still believe deep down that I hit him. It sucks. And I can’t check the news either – in program we are discouraged from checking and other compulsions.

There is a lot of back and forth about this in various threads for some reason. She also has a dx of schizoaffective disorder, which is never explained. Various people feel that this symptom is a combination of OCD and a psychotic symptom, but I am not so sure about that. The part about searching the ravines is also OCD, though it’s rather extreme in that it made her drop out of school.
I honestly feel that this presentation is simply OCD of the Harm OCD type. The person fears that they will attack others, but they never do it. Apparently it’s all just fear.
Going back and checking over and over to make sure she didn’t kill someone or push someone into the ravine is also very OCD-like. A psychotic person simply says that they killed someone by pushing them into the ravine, and that’s that. There’s no going round and round about it, checking the ravines, calling people, reading the papers. That’s called “checking,” and it’s an OCD thing.
Although these symptoms are very disturbing in that they involve violence, a person with this type of OCD is very unlikely to act on the obsession, and probably will never act it. They are less likely to commit a violent act than anyone else. The presentation is rather strange in that most OCD folks don’t have this degree of certainty in the obsession.
The hallucinations of police sirens are odd. Some clinicians are saying that there can be hallucinations in OCD, but they are generally minor. The whole idea of hallucinations in OCD seems very strange to me, and I don’t know what to make of it. OCD experts claim that there are no hallucinations in OCD.
Case 2 and here

The other night I had a thought about gouging my dog’s eyes out; it was terrifying to me. I could never do that, but the thought alone was enough to keep me obsessing about it for hours. Made me very anxious.
Woke up the other day worried I was going to spontaneously run someone over or grab a knife and stab someone, like it would be a compulsion I couldn’t control. My therapist said that’s classic OCD.
Sometimes I hear music playing, like tonight I was hearing a band playing, but it turned out to be just some noise from the a/c cause i left the room and returned.
Sometimes I hear people saying “hey” or think I heard someone else say something when they didn’t, but that’s really not a big deal, I imagine everyone has thought someone said something once in awhile, but the music thing is pretty real.
It sounded like a parade going on outside my house, until I got up and moved around. Not a big deal, just enough to make me stop what I was doing and listen.

This is classic stuff – Harm OCD. In general, they never act on the thought, even if they are thinking of it 24-7. There is controversy on whether or not there have been cases of people acting on antisocial or violent obsessions. Some say there have been some cases, but I have never heard of any. I do therapy with some people who have this type of “harm OCD,” and I never worry that they will act on it.
Note that this person is also worried that they are going to go psychotic, just as Case 1 is obsessed with whether she is psychotic or not. The worry that one will go psychotic is pretty OCD like right there. People with psychotic disorders don’t generally worry about such things.
The part about the hallucinations is stranger. First of all, they are not hallucinations. He just thinks he is hallucinating. He heard the AC, and it sounded like music because he didn’t realize that it was the AC. We live in a noisy environment, and mechanical objects will often make sounds that sound like auditory hallucinations. Other noises in the environment can also fool you. These are called illusions, not hallucinations.
Case 3

I have thoughts that someone is going to poison me or slip me drugs or somehow do something “bad” to me. When I was a kid there was all the talk about people putting razor blades and drugs in Halloween candy; there was a rash of OTC drug packages that were tampered with that killed someone and had these drugs pulled from the shelf, and there was also a case of someone getting poisoned by their friends. This was all in a relatively short span of time.
I seem to have latched on to all of that in an unhealthy way.
I don’t think people are out to get me. I don’t think there’s a conspiracy to hurt me. What I fear is that there are a lot of nutty homicidal people out there, and they may decide to tamper with food or whatever, and that it would be my luck to be one of the unlucky people that would be the victim.
I’m afraid that people are crazy, unpredictable, and there’s just a lot of random Bad Shit out there that people do. I also worry that somehow food will be contaminated with deadly microbes – botulism is a fun one to worry about.
I know this is insane. I know that the likelihood of something like that happening is very small. Still, it can drive me to panic attacks and anxiety as well as some fun compulsions. If there’s only one of something left at the grocery store, I can’t buy it. I have to take the package of food that’s the second one back, not the first.
I inspect packages. I give my dog food that is “suspect” knowing that if she’s okay, I’ll be okay. I know it’s stupid and silly, but the actions reduce my anxiety so I don’t have a panic attack or start freaking out.
In some ways it feels like a fear of flying. It could happen, even if the chances are low. Very low.

Strange case. The doc said that these were symptoms of “paranoia,” but I don’t agree. I think it’s just OCD. Thing is, your food could be being poisoned at any time. Most of us just assume it is not and go ahead and eat it anyway. That’s all you can do in life really.
Case 4

I have similar thoughts. Whenever I go to the supermarket, I’m always thinking that the food that I’m about to buy has been tampered with. So for example, when I grab a jar of pasta sauce, I start to think that someone injected poison into the the jar.
So I put that jar back and grab the one behind it. But then I become convinced that the person who poisoned the jar would know that someone like me will be expecting the jar in front to be poisoned, so they must have put the poisoned jar in the second row instead. So then I put the second jar back because I get convinced that it may have been poisoned. Then I sit there debating the whole thing in my mind because I don’t know which jar to buy. Ultimately I just say fuck it and take one of them.
I also worry that people will tamper with my food at restaurants and food courts. So lets say I’m eating at a food court by myself and I sit at the table and realize that I forgot to get a straw, when I go back to food place to get a straw, I always make sure that I keep an eye on my food the whole time.

Not sure what to do with this one, but it looks like Case 3. The way he takes jars our and puts them back and stands in front of the shelf debating which jar to take looks awfully OCD like. It’s a Hell of a way to live your life though, I must say.
Case 5

I was at a comprehensive psychiatric clinic/ward recently, and one of the patients there had very bad OCD. He would often ask me for reassurance about things that really didn’t make any sense at all. On the night that his new roommate was moving in, he was terrified that he brought a bomb in his luggage. He asked me if I thought that his roommate brought a bomb, and I obviously told him no.
Later that night (maybe under an hour later), he decides to pull the fire alarm and make a run for it (he wasn’t able to get too far because of the severity of his OCD). I don’t believe that he ever actually thought that there was a bomb with complete certainty. The uncertainty just became so severe that for him to act as if there was actually a bomb became the better option. It was the only way that he could diffuse his anxiety.

As you can see, the illness gets pretty weird, but it’s just OCD. He pulled the fire alarm because he could not be completely sure that this roommate had not brought a bomb into his room in his suitcase.
Case 6

Does anyone else have such poor insight into their OCD that instead of knowing that its irrational, you think its real? For example, I think that I’m a dead person living in a fake world to the point that its considered delusional. I’m also paranoid to the point that I truly believe people are poisoning me because they have something against me.
My doctors are confused as to whether I have OCD with psychosis or just OCD. Multiple doctors have said they can’t tell, but most lean towards OCD. Anyone else experience this?
Also does anyone else hear voices in their head which aren’t their own but instead like a family member or a priest or even someone you don’t know?

Strange case. The responders are all saying that this is psychosis rather than OCD. I am inclined to believe them. He hears voices apparently, and believes that he’s dead and the world is fake. But he says he hears voices in his head. This is crucial? Are they really just inner voices like we all hear (in which case they are not hallucinations) or is he actually hearing them with his ears (in which they are auditory hallucinations). He also thinks people are conspiring to kill him.
Case 7

Ok I have a boyfriend, and he is 30 yrs old, he said he had OCD and phobias, lately after some stress, he came to me crying and asked, “What if no one else but me exists? I feel so lonely like I am alone in the universe and that everything else is fake.”
Then I asked him, “What r u talking about?” And he replied, “I walked out of my office onto the street, and I thought ‘if I see someone I know this thing I am thinking its true.'” He saw one of his colleagues, and now he thinks that this thought of his is true, and he is anxious and crying.
Do you find this normal for a 30 year old? Then he asked, “I thought, What if I am a cat?” He listened to some cats meowing, and he started crying and asked, “What if I am a cat???” Is this normal? He had lots of stress before he starting saying all these things; he was afraid that he had some serious illness but in the end he didn’t, and after that he started this paranoia.

I am afraid that this is just OCD, but it’s pretty serious. He is not psychotic, although the symptoms are strange.
Case 8

Years ago I went through a serious bout of depression. I had fits of rage and crying and purposely avoided friends and places I enjoyed. A doctor put me on Lexapro, an antidepressant. I got better. Years later, I have a new problem. I thought it was the same old depression with a new twist. But it’s not.
My last psychiatrist tried treating me for a problem I had. He diagnosed it as depression and said that I also had OCD. This was because I had a depressed mood and frequently battled thoughts of anxiety.
This doctor tried me on a few different medications. Either they had no effect or they had terrible effects. They made me more depressed, anxious, and at one point suicidal. They were all small doses, but they showed their effects within days. The drugs that had these disastrous effects were Imipramine and Lexapro.
I’m seeing a new doctor now. This one says the root problem is NOT depression or OCD. He says it’s psychosis. His reasons for his diagnosis are this:
The obsessive negative thoughts are a manifestation of the paranoia attribute of psychosis. These thoughts include worrying about getting diseases, worrying about dying tomorrow from something, worrying about aging or getting Alzheimer’s, worrying about thinning on top, worrying about getting diabetes, worrying that I might be schizophrenic, worrying that I got brain damage from the smell of a dry-erase marker, the list goes on and on.
Some of these are too irrational to list. Some days they’re tolerable, other days they make me anxious, even cry, or prevent me from doing my work.
Another symptom that I had described to both doctors was the fact that nearly every task that I start, or even think about starting, causes me stress and anguish as if it were some daunting job having to clean up after a hurricane. This is true for nearly everything I do, including things I enjoy doing. Hanging out with friends, just watching a movie alone, or painting which I love to do will sometimes feel this way and compel me to avoid these things.
The first doctor said that this anxiety over starting things was possibly ADD. He tried me on Ritalin for that with equally disastrous results. Then he tried me on biofeedback treatment. It improved my memory, that I am sure of. The second Doctor said that symptom was also due to psychosis because it shows there are two thoughts fighting each other simultaneously with each of these actions I take. Things do seem much easier for me when decisions are made for me.

Strange case. One thing for sure, this person is not psychotic. I don’t see the OCD. Where is it? The worries about bad things happening could be a variety of things, GAD, OCD or depression. In the context of the Depression that is going on, these could well be what we call depressive ruminations . Feeling like everything is too much is also not ADD, it is instead just a symptom of Depression. The inability to get things done or even start things in the first place is typical of depressives.
Case 9

When I saw my psychiatrist last year, he seemed to think I had OCD because I was having problems with various obsessions including a morbid fear of death or dying young and several compulsions (such as repeating actions and counting in sets of 4 whilst avoiding ‘bad’ numbers etc) to prevent bad things from happening or ward off my obsessive thoughts and images. I would often see images of myself lying dead in bed, and it would freak me out.
However that was a year ago. He wanted me to change to Anafranil at the time, and I freaked out because I have a fear of chemicals I am not familiar with and didn’t return to my next appointment thinking I could deal with it myself. It did lose its intensity after a while but didn’t go away completely. Now I seem to have developed a completely new obsession, if that is even what it is.
I fear that I am suffering from some kind of psychosis because I feel spaced out a lot of the time, as though I’m walking around in a dream state. I am also having problems with chronic daily headaches. I am now spending hours researching psychosis, schizophrenia and headaches on the internet. I am analyzing every single thought I have to check for signs of psychosis, and it is driving me around the bend.
How much research does one person need to do anyway? It’s not like im a Dr. and can diagnose myself? Why cant my brain just drop the subject until I have seen my Dr. about it again?
I have made an appointment to see my psychiatrist again shortly, but I am terrified that he will want me to try the Anafranil again. Not only do I have to contend with my original fear regarding changing medications (which in short is that I will take it, and I will have a bad reaction it and become ill or die) but now I have this awful fear that I will take it, get worse, won’t know what im doing and will hurt my son as a result.
I’m terrified, I couldn’t stand it if I hurt my son, the thought is making me feel sick. I am worried that I may not know what I’m doing and hurt someone or my son at the best of times, especially with feeling spaced out, but I am even more concerned that the Anafranil will make matters worse. It does say on the cautions list not to give it to patients who suffer from psychosis or schizophrenia.
I used to have a fear of hurting myself or my son in my sleep so I’m not sure if this is a variation of that one or not? I do know that my mother suffered with anxiety and depression and during her later years (65 onwards), she became paranoid and delusional. I am terrified that my depression and anxiety will take a similar course.
I also feel like I can’t organize my thoughts as well as I used to be able to. I will try to organize my household chores for the day, my brain will take one look at the washing pile and give up because it doesn’t quite know where to start! I also can’t remember when I took my medication. I’m on painkillers for sciatica and my headaches, and I will often need to debate with myself over when I took my last dose.
I will go to take one and will find myself thinking “Am I sure I haven’t already taken one?” to which I respond “I’m sure I haven’t, but I could have, but I don’t think I have anyway,” to which I respond again, “Am I sure I haven’t taken one? Perhaps I shouldn’t take it in case I have already taken one,” to which I then respond, “I’m sure I haven’t taken one,” and then start trying to retrace my steps over the last 4 hours to check I haven’t in fact already taken one.
I worry I will forget that I have taken one, take another one and overdose by mistake, become ill and then die as a result. I have tried writing down when I take one but then I find myself questioning if I have written it down correctly. I have tried putting out what I need for the day/hour, but then I worry I that I didn’t put them out correctly in first place.
Also I have a nagging feeling that I have forgotten something a lot of the time, and I don’t know what exactly. The last few times I’ve left the house, I’ve had to check I had my keys and purse 4 times before I even shut the door!
I feel like I’m developing early onset Alzheimer’s or something, its seriously doing my head in.
I also tend not to go out very much at the moment because I’m afraid I will forget who I am, where I live, get confused or not know what I’m doing and hurt someone when I’m outside. So I find myself only going out when I absolutely have to in order to avoid the anxiety it creates.

This really looks like OCD. It doesn’t look like anything else. The doubting about whether or not she has taken her meds, the fears of going psychotic, fear of medication, Harm OCD about her son, having to check for her keys over and over, the endless checking to see if she has schizophrenia or not, etc. The spacey feeling is disassociation, which comes from anxiety. Get rid of the anxiety, and the spacey feeling goes away.

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OCD Versus Psychosis OCD with Psychotic Features

This is another in a series of articles on psychiatric diagnosis. This one will focus on the interface between OCD and psychosis. Keep in mind that there is a now a dx called “OCD with psychotic features.” Here are five cases of OCD with psychotic features. As you can see, these people believe in some really strange stuff! They are also very, very ill.
Case 1

Z suddenly developed rituals at age 17. While watching television he looked up and saw a man’s face at the glass kitchen door and heard a voice say: “Do the habits and things will go right”. He came to believe in a ‘power’ that could bring him luck if he could retain it within his possession through ritualising.

He bought an electric guitar which he felt contained the ‘power’ and would turn the controls ritualistically. He often saw a ‘black dot’ the size of a fist leave his body and enter some object around him. When experiencing the loss of the ‘black dot’ he felt compelled to ritualise to regain the ‘power’ that he believed was contained in it.

At age 19 he began to believe that a workman possessed a second ‘power’ for evil and began a second set of rituals to ward off this evil power while striving to retain the good one. He believed absolutely in the ‘power’ and feared disastrous consequences for himself and his family should he fail to retain the good and repel the evil power.

Before his admission to hospital, obsessions and compulsions affected every area of his life. Before performing any action he felt compelled to imagine the letter ‘L’ and the phrase ‘X away, power back’ for up to 20 minutes. He felt unable to sit on chairs or walk on grass or leaves, and slept with his feet uncovered for fear of the ‘power’ being transferred to some object from which he might be unable to retrieve it.
On leaving home he constantly retraced his steps to place his foot on a crack in the pavement or a leaf that he felt he had trodden on and so lost some of the ‘power’. If he saw the black dot leave his body (about 20 times a day) he had to touch the object it had entered and superimpose the letter ‘L’ and the phrase ‘X away, power back’ in his mind until he saw the black dot return.
From age 18, Z also had recurrent depression, hopelessness and suicidal urges, with deliberate self-harm (overdoses and wrist-slashing) when he was in a depressed mood. He said he harmed himself to appease the power or as a wish to die “when everything was perfect” after a day of ritualizing.

Case 2

Y developed beliefs about a ‘power’ at age 13. He felt that everyone had a certain ‘quality’ or ‘goodness’ which was stored in the brain as a ‘power’. He believed that other people drained the power from him and replaced it with their own rubbish (feces and urine). The exchange of power was triggered by an image in his mind of a face or object. When it happened he felt distressed, ‘dirty’ and ‘horrible’.
He could only regain the power by doing complex rituals. He imagined the person’s face and that he had detached their head from their body and sucked the power from the major vessels of their neck or from their eyes. He then transferred the power back into himself by banging his palm on a particular spot on his forehead, and breathing out repeatedly. This made him feel relieved and ‘good’, but as the events recurred up to several times a minute the relief was short-lived.
He felt ‘compelled’ at times to get revenge on people who stole his power by drawing with his finger on a wall a deformed and ugly representation. If he touched anything he left a ‘power’ trace behind and so had to touch it repeatedly to get the ‘power’ back. Y’s belief in the experience was absolute. He knew it might seem strange to others but believed that if they experienced it, they would understand.
From age 17 he also had recurrent depression, hopelessness and suicidal urges requiring hospital admission.

Case 3

At the age of 8, X had transient counting rituals associated with fear of harm coming to others. When she was 15, after a relative died, she feared that harm would befall her family and friends unless she completed specific tasks. She thought a supernatural ‘power’ inserted unpleasant thoughts into her mind, e.g. “if you read that book a relative will die”.
She believed unshakably that the power was supernatural, but could not explain it. To appease the ‘power’ and the thoughts, she developed complex counting rituals pervading her daily activities. She also did ritualistic hand-washing and checking. She avoided specific numbers, colours and clothes and counted from 0 to 8 on her fingers and toes throughout the day.
She repeated rhymes, avoided multiple numbers she associated with death or harm, and brushed her hair hundreds of times a day. She felt unable to resist the rituals, as her belief in negative consequences was absolute. Before she was admitted to hospital, rituals took all of her time until she fell asleep.
X had two episodes of moderate depression at age 25 and 34, both associated with worsening of her OCD. She had never harmed herself.

Case 4

At the age of 7, W developed fear of harm coming to relatives. He engaged in hand-washing and touching rituals to prevent this. Gradually he began to believe that ‘spirits’ or an outside force ‘reminded’ him to carry out his rituals lest harm should result. He associated the numbers 13 and 66 with harm and, if he saw them, believed they were placed by an external force to remind him to carry out his rituals.
He defended his belief absolutely but said he could not be 100% sure “because one can never be sure about anything”. He was unable to resist his rituals, as his belief in the negative consequences of not doing so was absolute. His rituals centered around numbers, complex counting, and avoidance of specific numbers. At age 31 he developed fear of contamination associated with many rituals of avoidance and hand-washing.
Prior to admission he was homeless and had thrown away all his ‘contaminated’ possessions, carrying all he owned in two carrier bags.

Case 5

For 20 years V had had a fear of being transported into another world. At age 17 he worried that reflections in mirrors represented another world, and had complex checking rituals involving mirrors. This gradually spread to all reflective surfaces. He believed that turning on electrical switches, using the television remote control or hearing car engines turned on could cause him to be ‘transported’ and constantly checked to make sure this had not happened.
He believed that if he ate while in another world, he would be forced to stay there, and so either avoided eating, or ate with complex rituals, or induced vomiting. Other rituals involved switching electrical switches on and off and wearing particular clothes. The ‘other’ world was tangibly the same as the real one, but ‘felt’ different – he felt that friends and family, although appearing the same, were ‘different’ and might have been replaced by ‘doubles’. The symptoms gradually worsened, occupying all of his time prior to admission to hospital.
When he was 27 he suffered severe depression requiring in-patient care, and again at age 30. He had no history of self-harm.

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