Just Watched Dead Man

I just watched Dead Man (1995) directed by Jim Jarmusch. It was simply incredible. Not only was it one of the best movies of the late 1990’s as some critics said, but it was also one of the greatest movies ever made. Simply stupendous. It’s been called an “acid Western.” You will like it if you like Jarmusch, who makes some very weird movies.

Previously I saw Stranger than Paradise, one of the funniest movies ever made, an actual movie that shows what life is really like, in all of its utter banality. It also shows that movies aren’t real life because real life never acts like the movies. If it did we wouldn’t be able to handle it. But if movies acted like real life, no one would watch them because they would be too boring.

We can only bear to watch movies because they are so far removed from daily existence. We can only deal with quotidian life because it is so banal. And even in all of its utter banality and lack of consequence, a lot of us still can’t handle it. Look how many people check out via their own hand every year. Look at mental illness rates, mental illness in part being a symptom of not being able to cope with life at all. Look at how many people commit slow suicide via alcohol and dope.

You really need to see Stranger than Paradise in a movie theater where everyone will laugh along with you, otherwise you might not laugh at all.

I also watched Down by Law, Jarmusch’s next movie. It was excellent but I have pretty much forgotten it by now and may just watch it again.

Anyone ever seen any of Jarmusch’s very weird movies? If so, speak up or forever hold your tongue. I will list them here for anyone who’s memory is as bad as mine is getting in these dear late years:

Permanent Vacation (1980) – His first film school project – a lot of critics did not like it. Shot in black and white.

Stranger Than Paradise (1984) – Absurdist, deadpan comedy. Possibly his magnum opus. Stars jazz musician John Lurie. Shot in black and white.

Down by Law (1986) – Jailbreak movie with Tom Waits, Roberto Bagnini and Lurie. Superb movie. Shot in black and white. This was his last black and white movie.

Mystery Train (1989) – Three vignettes all set in Memphis. Has that great Stranger than Paradise feel of the banality of life. Very good, watching now. First movie shot in color. All subsequent movies were shot in color.

Night on Earth (1991) – Comedy-drama with five vignettes all taking places in taxi cabs. Mixed reviews, either good or awful.

Dead Man (1995) – Acid Western” with a superb, out of this world Johnny Depp playing the lead, a man named William Blake. And no, the name’s not coincidental if you catch my drift. The other fellow, the man of letters, is also part of his identity. Also Iggy Pop and Billy Bob Thornton. Also possibly his best movie.

Year of the Horse (1997) – Neil Young tour movie. Regarded as one of his worst movies. Apparently his rock show movies just don’t cut it. Maybe he should quit making them?

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999) – Crime film about the Mafia with a most unlikely Mafia hit man. Said to be very good.

Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) – 11 vignettes. Either good or terrible, with the latter opinion being the consensus. Then again, the worst Jarmusch movies are still probably pretty good.

Broken Flowers (2005) – Comedy-drama about an aging Don Juan. Also very good, stars Bill Murray.

The Limits of Control (2009) – Spy/assassin movie, generally regarded as one of the worst if not the worst of his movies.

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) – Vampire movie. Oddly enough, a movie about a love affair between two vampires. Well-regarded.

Paterson (2016) – Regarded as excellent.

Gimme Danger (2016) – Stooges concert movie. Generally seen as one of his worst movies of all.

The Dead Don’t Die
(2019) – Zombie horror comedy movie with Bill Murray. Well-regarded.

New Theory: What Makes a Racist Dangerous Is the Level of Supremacy for His Own Race, Not So Much His Hatred of the Other Race

Jason: The NPD is certainly high with racists. Well, beyond the personal level, they certainly have racial narcissism. But of course they excuse it as “love for their own race”.

I think Jason makes an interesting  point that racial supremacists are narcissists in a sense – their racial supremacy being a form of narcissism in which their own narcissism is enlarged and placed on the entire group. In this sense, they are seeing their entire race as part of the self.

I would certainly agree that most true hardcore racists like White Supremacists or White nationalists are very angry people. And a lot of them are just flat out mean. Even the ones I thought were well-controlled had a deep meanness or even homicidality about them. Racists are not very nice people. And the hardcores, if you get to know them outside of their racism, they are often very mean people.

And a lot of racists do look rather “Cluster B,” that’s for damn sure. All that rage and hate looks Cluster B-ish. In particular, a lot of hardcore racists appear rather psychopathic. Most are not true psychopaths, but I assume that they have elevated scores on the PCL. They also act paranoid. They’re also projecting like maniacs.

And their racism does appear as egotism. Nationalism is like egotism writ large, with all of the same problems of egotism – I’m perfect, blaming everybody else, black and white thinking, no insight, the whole nine yards.

Really racism is just another Identity Politics. Most racists who are for their own group in a huge way are IP’ers. Others are not. Some White guy who says, “I don’t think much of White people, but I really don’t like Black people!” is not doing Cluster B, narcissism, psychopathy, or egotism. I think he’s just a cynic. Or perhaps a misanthrope. He’s unlikely to hurt Black people though. Cynics don’t usually shoot up malls. They’re too cynical to do anything that stupid.

It is the combination of extreme supremacy for their own race and extreme hatred for the other race that makes a racist dangerous. This looks like a paranoid. A paranoid has a grandiose sense of self and a vast hatred for the others, who are persecuting him. And racists definitely feel that they are being persecuted by the other race.

In that sense, it is so much of the level of hate that the racist has toward the others but more the degree of their own supremacy towards their own kind that predicts dangerousness in racists. Damn, what an interesting theory!

Also note another theory that racists are basically paranoids! Damn, I am on a roll tonight, huh?

It’s Ok to Believe That Racists Are Nuts

I am having a hard time understanding why people who deny that racists are crazy are some sort of bad people, especially when we say they’re not crazy, but they are bad.

Neither is flattering.

It’s not flattering at all to call someone nuts, but it also sort of lets people off the hook. After all, crazy people aren’t really responsible for their condition, right? In that case, racists, being nuts, are no more responsible for their condition than people with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or major depression. They’re not bad, they’re just ill. Do you really want to say that about racists?

Further, I don’t understand why it is outrageous or offensive to say, “Racists aren’t nuts, they’re just being immoral or bad.”

Both sides are saying racists are not cool. And it doesn’t really matter if someone is nuts or evil. Does it matter if a psychopath is nuts or evil? Of course not. We deal with them in the same way regardless.

So people who say racists are bad and people who say racists are nuts are both saying some pretty unflattering things about racists. In fact, it’s a lot more condemning to say that racists are bad than to say they are nuts. Crazy people are not responsible for their behavior, and bad people.

I don’t agree that racists are nuts, but if people want to take that position, it’s fine with me. People who say racists are nuts and people who say racists are bad should be friends, not enemies. They’re on the same page. They’re both looking at the same ugly picture. One person is saying that the ugly picture is caused by one thing and the other says the ugly picture is caused by another thing. At the end of the day, it’s not much of a disagreement.

I respect people who take the position that racists are nuts, not evil. I think they’re wrong but I respect the position. In the end the two positions are not particularly different anyway. See my analogy with psychopaths above.

Recently we have been dealing with someone who is a huge asshole. Like the biggest asshole in the galaxy. It’s controversial why he’s such an asshole. He has a mental disorder, bipolar disorder to be specific.

This person is at least a little bit manic all the time. The problem is that many manics are not happy manics. In fact, many are angry, irritable, aggressive, hateful, confrontational and even violent manics.

A lot of these manics look “Cluster B”, “narcissistic,” or especially psychopathic when they are manic.

In this sense Axis 1 conditions (true mental illnesses) can perfectly mimic Axis 2 conditions (personality disorders). In fact, if someone has a serious Axis 1 disorder such as a mood disorder, I would not diagnose a personality disorder until you clear up the Axis 1 disorder.

Only when that’s cleared up can the true personality shine through. Otherwise you are just looking through a fogged up mirror. You can’t see much of anything, and anything you think you see is probably wrong.

Anyway, discussing this person and others I have known with this going on, such as an aunt of mine, I told my Mom recently:

You know what? I really don’t care why someone acts horrible. I don’t care why someone is a total asshole or a monster. I don’t care if they act horrible because they’re mentally ill or just because they’re bad people. What difference does it make? All I know is that I need to get the Hell away from this horrible person. What’s causing their horribleness is ultimately irrelevant.

Dangerousness in Humans: You’re Either Pushing Energy out or You Are Pushing It In

In order to keep up with the loony SJW trends, it’s a requirement that I get increasingly crazy every year. Trust me, I’m already way too nuts. Last thing I need is get more crazy. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

By the way, if you can help it, please don’t go crazy. I had a neurotic break but that was bad enough. I didn’t get any special credit. I may as well have gone psychotic for how people treated me.

Everyone’s going to treat you like shit. You will get fired from job after job simply for being nuts. You will get dumped by woman after woman.

You will get accused of crimes and especially being a criminal – particularly a sex offender. For some insane reason, if you look a bit out there and are male, the automatic assumption is that you are a rapist, child molester, or serial killer. I can’t tell you how many times I got accused of that.

The truth is that most men who have some obvious mental disorder going on are not sex offenders in any way. Most are not killers. In fact, many of those men are the most harmless men you will ever meet.

That’s because there’s dangerous crazy and harmless crazy. There’s also dangerous weird and harmless weird. Normies are shitheads, so they can’t tell the difference, although when people get over 40, it seems like a lot of them can sort it out, and most people over that age act like I’m harmless no matter how crazy they think I am.

Yes, a lot of Normies actually start to get sane after age 40. That’s because they figure out what life is really all about, and they realize that a lot of the things Normie society says is true are actually completely false, and they’ve rejected this Normie indoctrination reject it in favor of sanity. But under 40, forget it. They’re all the same.

The truth is that mental illness is variable. People with anxiety disorders, frequently referred to as psychos and accused of being sex criminals, are probably the most harmless people you will ever meet. Their crime rate is dramatically lower from that of a Normie idiot. That is due to the nature of the sort of person who gets an anxiety disorder and the effects of the anxiety disorder itself, which are hugely inhibiting.

Most depressives are harmless, especially women. They’re mostly dangerous to themselves. Some depressive men are dangerous but once again, mostly to themselves. The problem is anger. Once a depressive starts to mix a lot of anger or agitation into the depression, they can get dangerous, mostly to themselves but once again not always.

That’s because depression, like introversion and anxiety, is what I call a “freezing agent.” Introversion and anxiety seem to freeze me in place. They cause me to sink back into my chair. I don’t want to leave my chair, much less leave the house. Fear actually seems to propel me backwards from the world. It literally drives me backwards into my chair. In introversion, anxiety, and fear, all of  your body energy is going backwards, right into the self. You’re shooting little if any energy outwards.

This is because fear is a freezing agent, especially the anxiety type of fear.

The paranoid fear is different, but most Normies can’t figure that out because Normies are idiots. A Normie sees an anxious person, and the first thing they say is that that person is paranoid. But they’re not.

Paranoid fear and anxious fear are different, though at times it can be a bit difficult to entangle them. The paranoid fears that other people are actively trying to harm him.

The anxious person doesn’t think that. Sometimes they think that people don’t like them. But they think that that is because they themselves are weird or unlikable, and people are just being normal for rejecting them. They may see or even imagine rejection everywhere. They definitely overreact to it.

Now most Normies are too dumb to figure this out, but when all or most of your energy is going backwards into yourself, you are not putting out much if any energy into the world. This is why introverts and anxious types seem difficult to get to know or talk to.

In order to engage with other people and be social, you need to put out energy into the environment. This is like a welcoming signal that says, “Come talk to me.” Otherwise it is like talking to someone who seems cold, closed-off, or distracted. Most of these people are not unfriendly at all.

In fact, they are often desperately lonely as many introverts are. But the introversion/anxiety makes it seem like one is talking to a wall, so the person “appears” cold and unfriendly, when actually they are so lonely that they are desperately trying to be friendly.

Now the obvious thing that no Normie can figure out is this: When all of your energy is going inwards with introversion, anxiety, or deep depression, you are completely harmless. Now why is this? It is due to the obvious: in order to be dangerous, you have to be putting energy out into the world.

The anxious person is literally too paralyzed to move, much less attack someone, god forbid an innocent person. Now if you are unreasonable and aggressive, sometimes you can rile them up, and they can get a bit aggressive or violent, but even then, they won’t do much damage due to the fact that they are not pushing out enough energy to hurt someone. And you have to be an extreme asshole to set someone like that off.

Anxious people blame themselves for other people disliking  them. It’s all their own fault.  The people who dislike them are good, normal, healthy people. They’re just rejecting the anxious person because he’s weird or whatever.

On the contrary, paranoids think they are innocent.

In fact, a lot of the time it goes along with grandiosity. After all, if all these people hate you, you must be pretty damned important, right? The paranoid realizes the silliness of the notion that vast numbers of people would not bother to hate someone who is utterly important. Why would they waste their time? In that sense, the paranoid is quite sane.

But no, everyone’s just picking on the paranoid. Why? Who knows? The paranoid is a dindu. He dindu nuffin. He was just walking along, minding his own business, when all of these evil people started hating him and plotting to harm him for no reason at all.

So the paranoid has the same mindset that the antiracist, Jew, or Black does. They’re all completely innocent and all of these bad people are just picking on them and trying to harm them for absolutely no reason at all.

In this sense, antiracism is actually a form of paranoia. And indeed, Jews are well known for being paranoids. Not clinical paranoids, but paranoids nonetheless.

Also, paranoids are dangerous. They are dangerous because they think they are innocent. If you were totally innocent and all these maniacs started picking on you and plotting against you for no reason at all, wouldn’t you get mad? Wouldn’t you feel like going and getting your revenge against these evil maniacs? Well, of course you would.

Also though the paranoid is terrified, and that is inner-directed fear, he is reacting to this terror with innocent, indignant outrage and fury. He wants to go punish these bastards who done him wrong. Since he is putting a lot of energy out, and it’s typically some serious rage, the paranoid indeed can be dangerous.

In contrast, the anxious person’s energy is all going inwards. They blame themselves for people not liking them. Whereas the paranoid is innocent and his persecutors are guilty, with the anxious type, it’s the other way around.

The anxious person is the guilty one, and the people who don’t like him are completely innocent. Being innocent, the haters are completely justified in feeling this way. Any anger is all being directed inwards as self-hate.  And while inner-directed anger can be dangerous to the self (suicide) it’s not dangerous to others at all. In part this is due to the  nature of energy.

Think about it. If you are pushing almost all of your energy inwards, how much energy is left over to push outwards? Just about 0%. You literally do not have any energy left over to push outwards. And pushing bad energy inwards and outwards at the same time is rather difficult. Think about it. When you are down on yourself, are you mad at others? Not usually. When you are mad at others, are you down on yourself? Not generally. Rage in and rage out are somewhat mutually exclusive.

      • You’re either innocent or guilty. Pick one.
      • Your haters are either innocent or guilty. Pick one.
      • Your energy is either going in or out. Pick one.
      • If you’re innocent, your haters are guilty, and your energy is going out as hate or rage at others.
      • If you’re guilty, your haters are innocent, and your energy is going inwards as self-hate or rage at the self.

Why Do I Talk So Much about Black People, Jews, Indians, Etc. on Here?

A lot of people want to know this. The fact is that I am absolutely fascinated by racial issues! And I’m also a race realist for better or for worse. At the very least I would like to point out that at the moment there are some serious behavioral differences among races, ethnic groups, and religious people. I’m not saying what caused it. I’m just saying it’s there.

But you can’t say that nowadays because everyone’s a dindu. Everyone except for straight White men that is. We’re pure evil.

So my task as a race realist is to try to look at race realism (and ethnic, religious and for that matter gender, sexual orientation, and gender identity realism) in a liberal, progressive, or even Leftist light. Now a lot of people would say that’s impossible and that by being a race realist, I am automatically a rightwinger, conservative, reactionary, Rightist, or fascist.

I am absolutely fascinated by Jews! In a way, I am obsessed with them but not in the way that Judeophiles and anti-Semites are. I’m not in either category.

And keep in mind that I was going to convert to Judaism recently! Obviously I’m a huge antisemite if I was going to convert! I had a Jewish girlfriend and I told her I wanted to convert and she was going to help me. I have no idea why I wanted to convert. Probably just to be perverse. Or to stick it to all the idiots screaming antisemite at me.

My Mom was flustered:

Mom: Why do you want to convert to Judaism? Nobody wants to convert to Judaism. If you go to a rabbi and tell him you want to convert, he will look at you like you are nuts and ask, “Why on Earth do you want to be a Jew?” It’s like no sane person would actually want to be a Jew.

Me: I don’t know, Mom. I just want to be a Jew. Xxxxx is Jewish and I want to convert for her. She’s going to help me convert.

Mom: Well, another thing. You’re going to get a lot of prejudice. A lot of people are going to hate you. There will be discrimination. You want to be discriminated against? Why?

Me: I don’t care about discrimination, Mom. A lot people act like they hate me anyway. So not much will change.

(Shakes her head like I’m out of my mind.)

I am also absolutely fascinated by antisemitism. I had no negative feelings towards Jews at all until I was 44, and I started to find out what they were really like. But I had been around them most of my life. Now that I look back, they were pretty typically Jewish, but for some reason that never bothered me at the time.

I was always mystified. “Why on Earth to people hate the Jews?” I simply couldn’t figure it out. We were brought up in this silly Judeophilic family. Both of my parents had grown up with Jews and had many Jewish friends. Every time the subject of Jews came up, my parents acted like they were the greatest thing since Kleenex. They got these huge smiles on their faces, and it was like the Jews were some sort of super-race. Which of course is exactly what Jews think.

I still find antisemitism absolutely fascinating. I still wonder why on Earth people hate Jews. Why did they hate them in the past? Why did they hate them in Europe during World War 2? What did Jews act like back then?

Why were they hated and persecuted in Europe in the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Middle Ages? Why on Earth did they get thrown out of 109 countries? How did Jews behave back then? What could they possibly have done to get tossed out of nation after nation? I’m baffled.

The antisemites will say it’s because Jews are pure evil. Well, I’m not buying that, sorry.

Everyone else will say that Jews were dindus who dindu nuffin, and everyone just picked on them for no reason at all and scapegoated them when bad times hit. For some reason this doesn’t resonate much with me, though this is the only view you are allowed to have, as it’s the only (((approved view))).

If you meet a guy who tells you he’s been to 109 bars in your city, and he gets thrown out of every bar for absolutely no reason at all, what do you think? Is he really getting thrown out for no reason at all? Yeah right.

If you meet a guy who tells you he’s lived in 109 cities and towns all over the world, and everywhere he goes, everyone hates him, and they get together and try to throw him out of town for absolutely no reason at all, what do you think? Yeah right. I’m sure you got thrown out for no reason, dude!

I also find Blacks fascinating. Unfortunately, I am also absolutely fascinated by anti-Black racism. Why do people hate Blacks? What’s the reason?  Its’ fascinating! Why, why, why, why? Racists will say it’s because Blacks are pure evil, but I’m not buying it.

Blacks and antiracists will say it’s because people hate them because they’re different and how they look. I’m not buying that either. Forget it. No one is innocent. Remember when Ronald Biggs said that? He was right.

They will say, like the Jews, that racism against Blacks is so unfathomable that it is basically a mental illness. You’d have to be crazy to hate Black people. The unspoken assumption here is that Black people are dindus who dindu nuffin because if they did do bad things, racism against them wouldn’t be completely insane. See?

Well, that definitely lets Black people off the hook, but I’m not buying it. I’ve been observing racism and racists for much of my life, and I assure you they’re not nuts. Racism is not a mental disorder in any of the DSM’s, though there were efforts by antiracist clinicians to get it into DSM-5. The American Psychiatric Association found this so ridiculous that I don’t believe they even bothered to discuss it.

And they talked about some pretty weird stuff like Hebephilia, a preference for pubescent-aged minors. The APA agreed that Hebephilia was absolutely not a mental disorder. Not only that but they said it wasn’t even abnormal. It was perfectly normal to get aroused by minors of that age. Now if they won’t list Hebephilia for Chrissake, how the Hell are they going to list racism? They’re not, because racists aren’t nuts.

Sure, some crazy people are racists, but it’s not the racism that’s making them nuts. More like the other way around.

Now you might think I am letting racists off the hook, right? Nope, not at all. To me, racism is not a mental illness. It’s not a question of sane vs. crazy. Neither is psychopathy. I don’t buy that psychopaths are nuts either. Forget it.

Instead racism and psychopathy are questions of good versus evil.

Psychopaths aren’t nuts, they’re just bad, or evil if you will. And racists aren’t nuts either. I see racism as a moral question. I believe that true, pure, hardcore racism is bad. It’s like a sin. Racists are acting bad. It’s like a form of evil. It’s not nuts to hate a whole race of humans, but to me it does seem wrong. As in morally wrong.

If you do that, you’re bad. You’re a bad person, at least in a sense. Now a lot of us are bad people to one degree or another. I’m not here to moralfag on people. But it’s better to be more good than bad. And if you are racist, you are being bad in that sense. If you want to be good instead, quit hating whole races.

Now I have no idea why, but Black  people will not accept that racism is a form of evil or bad behavior. Nope, it has to be a form of insanity. This is possibly because if you say racism is bad or evil, it implies that the racist has some valid reason to feel this way, but it’s more that he needs to control himself and act good instead of bad.

The race question in the US, like the Jewish Question, is completely insane. You’re either a hardcore racist where you hate Blacks and think they are evil, in which case you are a White Supremacist, White Nationalist, or just a racist. That seems like a crazy position, and I don’t like to go to boards like that. I don’t like to see all that hate against Blacks. It’s upsetting.

Ok, so overt extreme racism bothers you. Good for you. That means you have to take the other default position, which is that Blacks are dindus, everybody’s always picking on them, and all of the many problems of the Black community are 100% due to White racism and not even 1% the fault of Blacks. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were true? But it’s not. It’s just not.

Well, those are your two positions.

Pick your poison. I’d like to choose a position halfway in between, sort of the Bill Cosby/Pat Moynihan position. Cosby argues that Black culture is the part of almost all Black problems. Those Blacks who are creating these problems are simply part of a bad culture. This culture causes them to act bad and do bad things.

I’ll go along with that. But if I do, I get tossed out of the second group (antis) and into the first group, the White Supremacists. Who I frankly despise.

So that’s what I am trying to do here. Work out a position on Jews, Blacks, and everyone and everything else that is opposed to the extremism of both the Left and the Right. Call it the Realism position.

Permanent Ban from Twit (Twitter)

Well, I was on Twit (Twitter) only a short time before I started getting warning after warning after warning. These are all short-term bans of say three days. Then they went up to seven days.

I very quickly tried to start policing my posts to make them SJW-friendly. But every time I do that anywhere, I get banned anyway for some reason. I am starting to think that there is no appeasing these people unless you are one of them, in which case, I guess you know the drill, or you already speak the language.

The first time was a post in which I talked about how I had been doing a lot of reading, and I was shocked at how writers, especially poets, were gay or lesbian and how many were suicides.  After a while, I started asking myself how many poets are not gay, lesbian, or eventual suicides? It’s like they all kill themselves. I guess after a lifetime of faggotry and rug-munching.

I doubt if the gay behavior causes the suicides, but it’s well known that gay people have a very high suicide rate.

They talk a lot of a the rate of suicide attempts by gay and lesbian teens being high, but their rate of actual suicides is actually normal. Yet we hear endlessly of the suicide epidemic among gay and lesbian teens. I suggested this on Daily Kos and got blistering responses from fellow straight liberals.

One was a psychologist. I thought I was going to get banned. It was really scary. The psychologist was extremely hostile, basically called me a Nazi, and said that all the statistics were wrong, and the gay teen suicide rate was actually elevated and furthermore, I was an evil bigot for suggesting otherwise.

I wrote about how disappointing this was to me. I mean I don’t mind if a  poet here and there is gay or lesbian. Some gay writers are among my favorites, especially William Burroughs, and he’s practically the most fagged out of them all! But I had no idea that there were so many of them. I was reading a lot of biographies of writers I liked or had heard of, and over and over, it was gay gay gay gay gay gay, lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian bisexual bisexual bisexual bisexual bisexual.

I would go the biography page and see that say Vita Sackville-West or whoever was actually a lez. There would be her picture. She looked like a man! Total disappointment. Women who look like men are a complete turnoff to me. I twist up my face into a scowl every time I see one. There’s something terribly wrong with a woman looking and acting almost exactly like a man. It just seems so wrong and fucked up.

Amy Lowell? Lesbian. Virginia Woolf? Bisexual. Suicide. Her husband? Bisexual. The whole damned famous Bloomsbury Group? A bunch of gays and lesbians! Mary McCarthy? Lesbian! Oh no, say it ain’t so! I really liked her. It was so discouraging.

I went to read James Merrill’s biography. Jesus Christ, he was a fag! What a downer. I still like his poetry but it was so disappointing to be hit with this gay club over and over. I thought, “Are any of these poets and writers…like…normal? You know…like…heterosexual?”

Then I closed out my post by saying that if I have deal with a bunch of fags, dykes, suicidals and crazies to read the greatest writers that ever lived, that’s a deal I’ll take.

It was humor. That’s funny, right? And ultimately it’s not even really homophobic if you think about it and get past the shock words.

Well, I got a temporary ban from Twit.

Then there was a case in Venezuela of two opposition politicians who went to Colombia and partied with Colombian prostitutes. The whores spiked their drinks with scopalamine, knocking  them unconscious. Then they robbed them. One man died and another nearly did. This happens all the time down there, just to warn you.

There was all this discussion of what happened. Everyone was saying that the guys were taking drugs with the whores and then they overdosed. I kept correcting them saying that the women were “murdering whores” who had poisoned the men, murdering one and almost murdering another, and then robbing them.

Well, Twit gave me a ban for describing prostitutes as whores. Not only that but for describing robbing, poisoning, murdering prostitutes as whores. I was exasperated. Since when is it illegal to call a whore a whore, I mean to call a prostitute a whore? I mean, that’s…like…literally what a prostitute is. A prostitute is literally a whore and vice versa. That’s not even controversial.

And I had no idea that calling prostitutes whores was the new “nigger.” But everything’s the new “nigger.” Every week I wake up and there’s another word that’s been designated as the new “nigger.” Another banned word. Another word I’ve been using my whole damn life with no problems, and now all of a sudden, it’s illegal. I swear if they keep banning my words like this, after a while, I will barely be able to talk at all!

I get unbanned. Then I get another ban for the exact same thing! Banned for calling murdering prostitutes “murderous whores.” Which is exactly what they were. Are we worried about offending the precious feelings of murderous prostitutes now? I’m sure they have very sensitive feelings. Let’s please make sure we don’t hurt them.

So I gathered my wits about me and tried to be a good boy. But then there was some post about transsexuals, and I said, “There’s no such thing as trans people. They don’t exist. Instead, they’re all just mentally ill.”

Permanent ban from Twit for pointing out the obvious – that 90% of trannies are mentally ill! That there’s hardly any such thing as trans people. That it’s just a made up word for people with a mental disorder.

So yeah, permaban. It’s pretty bad because I am on Twit a lot, and I would love to comment or like things, but I can’t.

By the way, lots of people are getting banned on Twit for saying innocuous things about transsexuals. There is a very obnoxious and vicious male tranny or transwoman who works in the department that polices and bans posts and posters. He’s reportedly the brains behind a lot of these bans on people telling the truth about trans people.

Alt Left: None of Us Are Dindus: Ronald Biggs and the Sex Pistols, “No One Is Innocent”

I was thinking about Mithridates’ response to the Chmielnicki thread, which tragically implied that most if not all of the Jews killed in the peasant revolts of Eastern Europe pretty much had it coming for acting as tax farmers for the nobles and hence perfectly appropriate targets for an peasant revolt against feudalism. Sure, leave the Jewish women, kids, and old men out of it – except who ever does that in a war, especially 350 years go.

Anyway this made me feel very bad. Those Jews were killed in terrible ways and all my life I’ve been told that the Jews of Europe were dindus who dindu nuffin and just got picked on by mean Gentile antisemite Nazis. Turns out a lot of them asked for their own brutal fate. But that doesn’t make me happy. It makes me so sad. I don’t know but it just does.

And the first thing I thought is fuck this dindu crap. Fuck this we dindu nuffin shit.

What I mean by screw this dindu crap is: Goddamn it, none of us are dindus! You know how many of us dindu nuffins! Zero fucking percent, that’s how many!

Which reminds me of a song by the Sex Pistols. A man named Ronald Biggs helped participate in the Great Train Robbery in the UK in 1964. He hightailed it to Brazil. Brazil has no extradition treaty with the UK, so he’s been living it up down there laughing at the world and giving us all the finger the whole time. Well, good on him. I might do the same.

The Great Train Robbery? They stole lots and lots of money, so good on them. They became something of these Robin Hood type folk criminals, though if you research the case, they’re just dirty psychopaths and criminal scums as you might expect.

And though I wanted to love the romantic story myself because I’m kind of an asshole who hates all authority figures, when I read about it, I thought again. A man defending the money stash on the train was not killed, but he was very badly hurt. Maybe for a long time. Well, screw that. I’m not going to cheer on the Great Train Robbery anymore, thank you very much.

Also I read up on Biggs’ life down in Brazil, and of course, being a psychopath, he lived the typical life of a total psychopath down there in Brazil. Duh. And keep in mind this is Brazil, where psychopathy is virtually normal. He acted real bad down there, got into constant trouble, and was basically a huge dick. Which logically follows of course from him being a psychopath. Because, you know, psychopaths gotta psycho. It’s what they do.

Well, the Sex Pistols, after the first album, decided, just to be total assholes, which we already knew they were anyway, to go down to Brazil and record a song with Ronald Biggs. Biggs recorded a song with them called “No One Is Innocent.” Which is the fitting coda to this silly blog post in which I point out that none of us are dindus, even though we all think we are:

Fuck it, man! No one is innocent! We’re all guilty, dammit!

Which is awful damn Christian, now that you think about it, no?

God save the sex pistols they’re a bunch of wholesome blokes
They just like wearing filthy clothes and swapping filthy jokes
God save television keep the programs pure
God save William Grundy from falling in manure

Ronnie Biggs was doing time until he done a bunk
Now he says he’s seen the light and he sold his soul to punk

God save Martin Boorman and Nazis on the run
They wasn’t being wicked God that was their idea of fun
God save Myra Hindley God save Ian Brady
Even though he’s horrible and she ain’t what you call a lady

Ronnie Biggs was doing time until he done a bunk
Now he says he’s seen the light and he sold his soul to punk
Ronnie Biggs was doing time until he done a bunk
Now he says he’s seen the light and he sold his soul to punk

God save politicians God save our friends the pigs
God save Idi Amin and god save Ronald Biggs
God save all us sinners God save your blackest sheep
God save the good Samaritan and God save the worthless creep

Ronnie Biggs was doing time until he done a bunk
Now he says he’s seen the light and he sold his soul to punk
Ronnie Biggs was doing time until he done a bunk
Now he says he’s seen the light and he sold his soul to punk
Sold his soul Sold his soul Sold his soul to punk

Malignant Narcissism: From Fairy Tales to Reality

Malignant Narcissism: From Fairy Tales to Reality

If you want to know the sort of stuff I read all day, here is an example. This was actually very hard to read. Not so much hard to understand but hard to put all of these ideas into my head and walk around with them. You think this is easy to understand? Fine. Read it and then tell me exactly what it said about all of this. You’re going to have to recite almost the whole document to me, as this thing is packed with valuable ideas in nearly every sentence.

I think most of the information here is correct. This article is quite unlike the typical medical model stuff you see in US psychiatric journals, which I have read extensively in off and on for almost 30 years now, in case any of you think I don’t know anything about mental health.

I am not sure how well-tested a lot of the suppositions here are, but from the tone of this article, it seems that the majority of people come out of their families pretty screwed up in the psychiatric sense of the word. And keep in mind that this field is all about minimizing the number of people who are diagnosed as nuts. Believe it or not we want to diagnose as few people as possible as nuts for a lot of reasons.

Also, there is a strong sociopolitical message here which seems quite leftwing. I couldn’t believe that this was published in any US psychiatric journal, so I looked up where it was published, and sure enough, it was published in a journal in Croatia.

Croatia having gone through 46 years of Communism. The population likes to claim it is cured, but I don’t think so, and having worked closely with a lot of Croatians lately on a piece I am working on (presently 250 pages), I think that leftwing values are still quite common here whether they admit it or not.

Anyway this piece had a lot of great information in it, albeit packed in real tight and hard to digest at once or at all for that matter. If you’re interested in what sort of stuff I spend my time reading or if you have any interest in abnormal psychology, you are free to check it out.

Also, our very own president is absolutely a malignant narcissist, so if you want to understand Donald Trump, look no further. Let’s just say, for starters, that malignant narcissism is the “personality of the dictator.”

He Wanted a Twin, Or Worse, a Reflection in the Mirror

My mother and father went to UCLA. My Mom for a mere year, my father til graduation. And came back later for a Masters in Counseling, after which he set about for the entire time I knew him demonstrating that he had learned almost nothing from those pounding years of hard core psychology classes. And the books in the world can’t penetrate a brick wall in the head.

I was supposed to go to UCLA, but I was as huge disappointment. I couldn’t pass Algebra 2, even with this Grade-A IQ of mine. Disappointment all around.

Why was I supposed to go there? He went there. What was I supposed to major in? History? Why? That’s what he majored in! What was I supposed to do afterwards? Teach school. Why? That’s what he did! Starting to get the picture? He didn’t want a son. He wanted a junior twin. Worse, an exact replica cutout from the mirror, 35 years too late.

Why do parents do this shameless bullshit? Yeah, I resented it. I’m not your toy or your reflection in the mirror, pal! I’m actually a real human being, separate from you. You know, a separate person, with my very own thoughts, feelings, desires, values, girlfriends, orgasms, bong hits, parties to go to, you name it, guy. I think people like that have an Object Relations problem. A lot of people have this.

Borderlines are notorious. The Borderline cannot see you as an individual person with your own feelings, thoughts, desires, sleep patterns, favorite foods, quirks and gifts, home runs and strikeouts. A lot of personality disorders share this.

This is one of the most important lessons you can learn in life – that others are completely separate from you. It’s painful in a way because we really want others, especially those we love, to be a part of us in a sense – to agree and disagree with us on everything, but it just doesn’t work that way, and thank God for that.

Sure, Narcissists Are Always Six Years Old, But Borderlines Are Only Two, and That’s So Much Worse

Object Relations,  Specifically Object Constancy

Facts don’t go away or become untrue simply because we say they don’t exist, sorry. Nevertheless most humans operate on this principle much of the time. Life works better with this pretty little lie.

This sort of thinking is not a mature way or looking at life, even though we adults think this way a lot.

Instead, that’s the world of a child, a little child. Show something to a kid and he knows it’s there. Take it away and put it behind you, and the child thinks it’s vanished off the face of the Earth.

When you can figure out that it’s not gone at all, only hidden behind your back, you have achieved Object Constancy, and humans don’t have it at first.

We have to develop it later on. Some people never develop a good sense of it. You see this a lot in mental disorders, especially personality disorders.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder have poor Object Relations, and their Object Constancy is poor also. But if you realize that all Borderlines are always and forever two years old, it all makes sense.

And Now We Are Six!

Sure, the narcissist is six, always and forever. 18 or 80, it’s all the same  because he’s still only six at any and every age. Six years old! I’m king of the hill! Ever see a first grader? Look at how self-centered they are. All children are extremely self-centered, but six year olds are the worst of all.

But Borderlines are forever two instead of six and that’s so much worse, sorry. And that’s also why Narcissists function so much better than Borderlines. Face it, a six year old human is far more functional than a two year old human, who is barely functional at all, merely a babe.

No One Will Ever Truly Understand You Like The Woman Who Loves You

Women in particular are masters of intuition and human psychology. They’re hard to fool in that sense. It’s humbling because you think you are fooling them with some bullshit you are pulling on them, but they often see right through you and call you out on it.

There’s no one who will ever figure you out like your girlfriend. She will see right through you and call out all bullshit and crap and lies. She will also figure out the true nature of your personality better than your therapist or even your own mother, who loves you too much in a different sense to ever tell you the truth about yourself. Your Mom is like your ego. She loves you so much that she’s willing to abide by all sorts of lies to think that you are the apple of her eye.

She will see right through your psyche and call it all out, the good and the bad, and trust me, she will not leave out the bad. She will tell you things about yourself that your own defenses had been denying to you, though they were obvious to everyone except you because you can’t see yourself.

I think this is particularly true if she is in love with you. Being in love really turns on that x-ray vision of theirs somehow.

And believe it or not, females with Borderline Personality Disorder are some of the finest experts at this ability to see right through you and figure you out. This has even been suggested theoretically, as clinicians have noticed that, while Borderlines are completely in the dark about themselves as all PD’s are, they somehow nevertheless are experts at figuring out other people.

*****

I’ve had girlfriends point out:

1. My egotism or self-satisfaction as one described it (she didn’t like it either). And it was often described in precisely those words – ego or egotism – as opposed to arrogance or other nastier things. And if you ask me to change this, I will laugh right in your face and refuse to. If you tell me it’s screwing up in my life, I will shrug my shoulders and say so what.

It feels too good to like yourself this much. I’m not selfish about it and I try not to think I am superior (though this is difficult also). In fact, I’d love to share the wealth. I often think everyone should love themselves as much as I do.

2. That I am actually I am actually rather conservative of all things about my values and how I live my life despite this lie that I put out that I am some let it all hang out wild man. This is due to my introversion, which makes me cautious and rather freak-averse. Being freak-averse is uncool nowadays as we are supposed to worship freaks and weirdos like secular gods.

3. The fact that I am actually quite shy despite the big lie that I put out about being this freewheeling extrovert. I am often painfully shy, and both strangers and people who knew me have suggested that I have Social Phobia. I don’t have that diagnosis, but I can be pretty avoidant. That’s one of the worst parts of me, but it’s due to things other than Social Phobia. Anyway, ordinary shyness is often confused with Social Phobia.

But I am not that introverted, as true introverts marvel at my extroversion. For instance, I can definitely talk a lot, and true introverts are often like furniture. They sit there and don’t say anything for long periods of time, and you get frustrated with them because it seems like they literally have no psyche or at least not one that they want to share with anyone anyway. There’s literally nothing inside of them! Or so it seems.

I often walk right up to complete strangers of all ages and both genders and start talking to them, which lately is getting me in trouble now that feminists have made Talking to People Who Don’t Want You Talking to Them a crime.

I tell my mother, a true introvert, that I walk right up to total strangers and talk to them, and she is amazed and shocked and says she could never do that. But girlfriends have pointed out that my shyness is rather cute and touching in a way. That’s probably true too.

4. That I am an expert, glib, bullshitting, charming, and often hilarious liar, but a big fat liar nonetheless. In other words, that I am basically full of shit, which is sadly true. I’m not going to change this about myself either. It’s too much fun to be a slyly deceitful bad boy and put one over on the world, a world which I already hate anyway.

5. That I am actually not a 100% good person, and in truth, I am even a little bit evil. Only a little bit evil, sure, but I am evil nonetheless. I don’t feel like changing that either ha ha. Being a bit evil is too much fun. Some ex-girlfriends think I am pure evil; one said I was “the worst man on Earth,” which makes laugh proudly. They didn’t think that way when they were with me though, and I don’t agree that that’s a fair judgement.

6. That my sense of humor is rather childish. For instance, I often make funny faces while barely realizing it. Girlfriends often alternately LOL at these faces (which are pretty damn funny to tell the truth) or chide me for being an overgrown teenager, which I also am, tragically I suppose. I’m not going to change that either ha ha. Or maybe I will.

7. The fact that I have shut down my feelings so much that I almost seem to not have any feelings and appear like Spock on Star Trek or a literal rock. I do have feelings of course, and when young I had quite a range of feelings.

I shut them down starting in my early 20’s as a defense mechanism against immense pain I was experiencing. I’m not sad that I did it, but sometimes I long for my old feelings back. It’s especially bad because when you kill those intense bad feelings, you pay for it by killing off the intense good feelings too.

No free lunch, eh? You pay for everything in life. You pay for the good stuff with the bad stuff. Bad stuff is literally currency that we use to purchase those shiny, bright goblets of experience that make this shitshow all worthwhile.

I still have feelings, but they are rather muted, and they are more in my mind than in my body anyway. I took all the feelings out of my body and stuck them in my head, where they swim around and cause all sorts of troubles.

If you ever meet anyone who seems very shut down like this, there’s probably a reason for it – a good reason. For instance, they are probably doing that to protect themselves from pain, an avalanche of injury, a bottomless well of hurt. There’s a method to the madness, and there’s a reason, often a fairly good or at least understandable reason, for most everything in life. We think that all these things happen for no reason, but they just don’t. It’s a brutal revelation.

8. The fact that, while I am not a narcissist, nevertheless I can be horribly self-centered. This sometimes seems infuriating to others. Who do I want to talk about? Me. Who do I not want to talk about? You. Ha ha. I’m very sorry about that, and I actually would like to change this. I work on it all the time, but I have to consciously try to, which makes it difficult, not to mention it’s pretty baked in by now anyway.

9. The fact that I mix that a Jupiter-sized ego with truly tragic self-deprecation which often looks like out and out self-hatred. I have had girlfriends who were shocked and stunned at this aspect of me. It seems like I really love myself, but maybe that’s not the whole story.

Maybe in part I hate myself. I do hate certain parts of myself. I basically think that I am a fucktard in certain ways. I beat myself up for this all the time, and I am always trying to change it. But I just can’t seem to stop doing it. I guess the fucktardedness is cemented over by now too.

I will be somewhere, interacting with other people, trying to get outside of my fucktardedness and act like a normal human instead of a distracted space cadet genius with his head in the clouds. I will be chattering away faking being normal like I always do, and Mr. Fucktard comes knocking at the door in my brain.

Mr. Fucktard: Hi! It’s me! Your fucktarded part of yourself, and I’m here to fuck up your life LOL! Hope you have fun while I ruin whatever it is you are doing right now LOL!

Me: Shit. What are you doing here? I hate you so much I could strangle you with my bare hands, you little shit. Seriously, I want to murder you, you sonofabitch, and I will do it too, slit your throat as coldly as if I were eating a bowl of cereal!

Mr. Fucktard: LOL! Yeah, you dumbshit. You’ve been trying to kill me for decades now, and you just can’t because you’re too fucking lame LOL.

Catch me if you can, you bastard! No matter how fast you run trying to chase me, as soon as you catch up to me, I’ll be in front of you again as fast as that! I’m like your fears. You can’t outrun me.

Hell, maybe I am your idiotic fears you never got rid of, you fool LOL! You can’t get rid of me! I’ll be hanging around you until you die, gleefully ruining everything you do. Why? Just for shits and giggles and because I hate you.

Why do I hate you? Because you’re a stupid fucking asshole, that’s why LOL! I’ll never quit. Hell, I’ll probably keep trying to ruin you after you die! I’ll haunt your silly corpse, dumbass! LOL!

10. The fact that I am actually serious, even very, very serious, as in dead serious. I think I am this flippant fun guy – funny guy, but maybe it’s not  so true.

*****

Yes – all of these aspects of myself which I don’t want to think about or even deny that they exist – my wonderful girlfriends have stripped away all my defenses hiding these things from me and shredded them in front of me like thin toilet paper.

They put up the most brutal and sadly truthful mirror ever in front of me and forced me to look at that horrible image there. That cruel trick of an image that doesn’t even look like me at all. But that I still know somehow, deep down inside, is really me, part of my psyche, the black part.

Alt Left: What’s Behind California’s High Housing Costs and High Rates of Homelessness, Poverty, and Welfare Use?

Tulio: Hey RL, just a bit off topic, I was recently reading that California when adjusted for cost of living has the highest poverty rate in the country and that it also has the most welfare recipients.

The Right has been going nuts in the Trump era bashing California and called it a failed 3rd World state that looks the way it does because it’s controlled by Democrats. A lot of that is of course hyperbole, but there is a lot of struggle in California.

I’ve always found this argument a bit specious because there are 15 or so other states where Democrats control the governorship and legislature that don’t have the same quality of life problems. The Right will ignore of course that the majority of high-poverty states are red states.

But there is a question I’m wondering. Is the demographic change of California from majority White to now mostly Latino the reason for these economic problems? It stands to reason that if most of your demographic change is coming from immigrants of a poor country, it will make your state a poorer place.

And this has nothing to do with people voting Democratic per se. If tomorrow 10 million Central Americans immigrated to Nebraska I’m sure you’d see similar issues emerge.

Good question.  This is an excellent hypothesis, actually. I just don’t think there is much of anything to it.

High Cost of Housing: The Secret Behind All of the Problems

The adjusted poverty rate is due to the high cost of housing. Everything else flows from that. What are we supposed to do about it? This is a problem of capitalism. Explain what the state is supposed to do about this housing problem.

I mean we are trying to do a lot of things but the money’s not available for a total solution to the problem. Also our solutions are running into a lot of NIMBYism.

The Homeless Cataclysm

We are fairly kind to our homeless here, so other states kindly put their homeless on buses to California, especially cities like San Francisco. We are trying to deal with this homeless problem as best as we can. What are we supposed to do? The homeless problem is also tied into the housing problem.

Problems of Penal System Reform

The problem is also drugs. Face it, a lot of the homeless are mentally ill or alcohol or drug addicted. They can’t work even if they wanted to. We have decriminalized a lot of drug use here and we released a lot of inmates and reduced a lot of crimes from felonies to  misdemeanors. Also our jails and prisons are badly overcrowded. Hence a lot fewer minor offenders are getting locked up and a lot of them are just roaming the streets instead.

Problems of Drug Decriminalization or Legalization

Everyone says we ought to decrim drug use and I have always tended to agree. But this is what you end up with when you do that. In Seattle, they look the other way on minor drug use and possession, hence there is a huge amount of open drug possession, use, and dealing, a lot of it right out in the open and associated with the homeless.

The drug of choice is often methamphetamine, which can make you act pretty crazy. So you have these crazed meth heads roaming around the streets scaring everyone, certain streets no-go zones due to open drug use, homeless everywhere, even sleeping on sidewalks  where you have to step over them, and rampant crime, mostly petty thievery from stores as addicts steal like crazy to get money for their habits.

I am at a loss to do about any of these problems, sorry. I just want to throw up my hands.

What’s Wrong with Social Programs?

So we have a lot of welfare? Big deal. That’s the state trying to deal with the poverty problem. Good for the state! Keep in mind that to these guys, everything is welfare: Section 8, Food Stamps, Disability, Workman’s Comp, reduced utility bills, on and on.

Serious Limits on What a Mere State Can Do about These Things

We are a very liberal state with a very liberal Legislature that cares a lot about these problems, but they are beyond the scope of the state government to deal with, much less fix. But we are trying our best. Ask these Republicans what we ought to be doing instead.

I don’t think changing from a majority White state to a majority Hispanic state has much to do with it. There is a lot of poverty, here but there is also a lot of wealth. Keep in mind that California has the 8th largest economy on Earth, higher than the vast majority of actual countries. And we’re not even a country. We are just a state.

Long Term Serious Mental Illness Seems to Freeze Personal Development at Whatever Age the Illness Hit

Polar Bear: I work a humble job myself and my father was a postal worker. I’m no genius, it’s an attribute but possibly also a double edge sword. I grew up with a genius next door neighbor and met a few others along the way.

They’re odd ducks for sure. The outsider thing rings especially true. I don’t see many with families. I was the king of the neighborhood in a sense, and my genius neighbor struggled at many things in life.

I’m not sure if you want to be a genius, speaking from the point of view of one. Four of the five geniuses in my family never made much money at all in life.

Two are on disability due to long term (35-40 years) mental illness (mood disorders – bipolar disorder). They both got ill early in life, one at 17 and the other at 19, and I hate to say it, but they never really grew up enough as they should have. I think that when these illnesses hit very early in life and they never go away, it seems like personal development ends up arrested at whenever the illness struck.

In some ways, it’s like at least one of them is stuck at 17. This person in their 50’s (mostly mania) is a permanent teenager. They moved back home at age 39 and lived there until age 55. They just got out of jail and at one time, they were homeless for a few months. They have a modest criminal record (~10 arrests?) for mostly minor stuff, usually during an episode.

During a  manic episode this person will lose everything they have. If they have a car, they will lose the car. If they have an apartment, they will lose the apartment. If they have a job, they will lose the job and not be able to get another one that lasts more than a few days.

They burn through whatever money they have and pawn their valuable possessions. When it ends, their life is in wreckage. They’ve lost just about everything they had.

They never admitted they were ill so they always denied being ill or having an episode and just blamed other people for everything. In the last year, they have started to admit they are ill, but they won’t admit it to me and I can’t bring it up because they will get angry. They’re on meds for the first time but the meds don’t completely control the illness.

The other one is also in their 50’s (mostly depression) and has been quite immature most of their life. They have been hospitalized several times and they seem to like being in the hospital. They have been on meds for 35 years and got bad side effects, including diabetes and weight gain, from the meds, neither of which went away.

Every time they had a crisis, they would collapse and fall apart and call my Mom screaming to come deal with it because they can’t cope with any crisis on their own. I’m not sure if they can cope with crises now.

You still have to watch every single thing you say to them because they have a list of subjects that will make them blow up and throw a mini shitfit 300,000 lines long.

I have to think about everything I say to them to make sure I don’t mention any of the banned subjects. With some banned subjects, you can’t even say the word. For instance, rape and child molestation cannot be mentioned at all, ever, for any reason. They are always shutting down conversations because half the stuff in the world upsets them and makes them throw a mini shitfit.

They spend a very good part of their time at my Mom’s house nowadays although they have their own apartment. They’re both females so it’s no big deal. My Mom is going to move soon, and they will go live with my Mom. They have been on their own since age 35 though, I will give them that. They do like to be on their own.

None of the people mentioned her read this site since I moved, so I’m not so worried about talking about them here. No one who reads this will ever figure out who they really are, their real names, where they live, anything at all about them. Even people who know me won’t be able to connect me to them.

Alt Left: Why Male to Female Transsexuals (Transwomen) Say That They Menstruate and Have Periods

Male to female (MtF) transsexuals (or transwomen*) have surgery and then they have what looks like a gaping hole for a fake vagina where their penis used to be there, and not a pretty gaping hole either. It typically looks absolutely disgusting, like something you would see in a surgeon’s operating room.

It is basically a wound and your body thinks it is a wound the whole time you have this fake vagina. They have to “dilate” their fake holes, sometimes for up to four hours a day. This is because the body thinks it is wound and keeps trying to heal it shut.

Apparently there’s a fair amount of bleeding that can occur with all of this dilating and with  the body trying to heal  this fake vagina.

As I understand it, this bleeding is what these transwomen refer to as their periods.

A number of transwomen also say that they get period cramps and pains “at a certain time every month.” Therefore, they claim that they have periods. That can’t be possible.

This whole matter is so stupid I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

*Please note that transwomen are not real women in any way, shape, or form, and they will never be real women at least as long as I am on this Earth. Nevertheless, I will refer to them as transwomen out of courtesy because this is what they prefer to be called.

These people are all crazy and seriously troubled anyway, and I don’t see why I should add to their emotional pain and trauma. These transwomen are human beings. Crazy human beings, sure, but human beings nonetheless. I work a lot with “crazy” people as a counselor, and I don’t hate anyone for being crazy. I tend to feel sorry for them instead. Nevertheless, I don’t understand why the rest of us need to go along with the delusions of crazy people.

The Myth of Illegal Drugs Frying Your Brain and Permafried People

In response to Jason’s post here about drug use frying your brain, I have written this response. In general, the notion that the use of illegal drugs will fry your brain or make you permafried even after you quit is nonsense. In general, once you quit you go back to the intelligence and sanity level you were at before you started. Few people get permanently lowered intelligence or permanent mental illness from former drug use.

Most illegal drugs do not cause any permanent damage to your brain that would affect you permanently after you quit.

In all of my years using drugs, I have met 10,000’s of drug users and I never met one person who had used so much drugs that they were “fried” in the sense that they were permanently stupid or crazy after they quit using.

Cocaine

There may be some consequences far down the road – say, with Parkinson’s.

Jason’s article discusses an increased risk of Parkinson’s in former cocaine users. But it’s not really due to brain damages so much as changes in a certain receptor that make someone more vulnerable to a toxin. That’s not the same thing as having a fried brain.

I knew a heavy cocaine user who appeared to have neurological problems from the drug. But I am not sure if it persisted after he quit, if he ever did quit. But he’s the only person I’ve ever met like that, and even he wasn’t fried at all. He was still very intelligent and completely sane. However, he did appear to have some sort of brain damage. Whether it was permanent or not is not known.

LSD

I have known people who took LSD up to 700 times, and I know a number who took LSD 300 times. LSD doesn’t damage your brain anyway. It can cause some changes in the visual system due to permanent changes in serotonin receptors, but that just causes some perceptual problems, and this is mostly in people who have taken it 50+ times. It doesn’t change effect you in any way that changes the way you think or feel, in other words, it doesn’t make you stupid or nuts.

There are some very heavy former LSD users who seem to have permanent hallucinations, but those people took a lot of acid over a short period of time – like way, way too much acid. It’s not known what’s going on with them, but I suppose they are permafried in a sense.

LSD is a dangerous drug.

Cannabis

I know many people who have been smoking pot for 10, 20, or even 30 years, and there’s nothing wrong with any of them. You wouldn’t think there was anything wrong with them if you met them. They’re not damaged at all.

The pot lowering IQ discussed in Jason’s piece is only for use before you are 18. If you start using at age 18 or after, there’s no effect on IQ. People under 18 need to be very careful about pot because it can indeed lower their IQ’s a bit.

Pot doesn’t give you schizophrenia, period. The most it can do is trigger it if you are already vulnerable, but even then, most of those people would have gotten it anyway. But it can definitely bring it on sooner than it would have otherwise.

The rate of schizophrenia has been flat for 60 years, all through the 1960’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, 2000’s and 2010’s, and all sorts of drug use rates for different drugs skyrocketed at various times in that period. In other words, neither cannabis nor any other drug is going to give you schizophrenia with one exception discussed below.

MDMA

MDMA is a very dangerous drug and it can definitely cause physical damage to your brain. It permanently lowers scores on a few aspects of intelligence tests such as vocabulary, but you mostly can’t notice any changes and there do not appear to be any changes in mental stability. In general, it doesn’t make you stupid or nuts.

However, there are some people called e-tards out there who took a lot of MDMA very frequently over relatively short of periods of time, and these people appear to be permafried. Mostly they seem a bit stupid.

However, I have heard that even these effects of MDMA go away after ~7-8 years if you stay away from the drug.

 

Speed is another matter but even that tends to clear up after you quit. There are some very heavy methamphetamine users, especially people who shot the drug, who have developed an illness that looks a lot like or possibly is paranoid schizophrenia.

There are some recorded cases out of Japan, and a friend told me about another case here in California. This is not a common outcome and even with all the heavy meth abuse that is going on nowadays, you don’t hear much about people being permafried in the sense that they become permanently mentally ill with paranoid schizophrenia.

Heavy Polydrug and Alcohol Abuse for Decades (30 years)

I have heard of one person who used huge amounts of drugs and drank very heavily over many years, starting as an adolescent. They are now off of everything, and they have a rather poor short-term memory and forget stuff a lot, but other than that, they are still extremely intelligent.

They are also a bit suspicious and paranoid, but not at the level of a paranoid psychosis. I suppose this man is permafried in a sense, but if you met him, you would not appear stupid or crazy.

Conclusion

Bottom line is a lot of that stuff can mess you up pretty bad while you are on it so you seem stupid, crazy, or even brain damaged. But most if not all of that tends to clear up when you quit. Permafried people who are permanently stupid or nuts from heavy drug use must be awfully rare because I haven’t met one in my entire life. The fried brains and permafried nonsense is mostly mythology.

Game/PUA: “All Bitches Are Crazy,” Part 2

Roy: Perhaps most all women are crazy, my own mother is far better than most women but still crazier than most men.

All women are nuts, pretty much. My Mom is pretty stable though. But she is still a lot more emotional than I am.

I have a female relative with a severe mood disorder that she has had most of her life. Major Depression. At first I thought she was faking it and was just lazy in order to get out of working and being independent, but recently I saw her crash far downwards for a couple of years.

Trigger? Her cat got out of her house and ran away and disappeared. No big deal, right? Nope, it put her out of commission for two years, or it set off an episode that lasted two years. In that episode I finally saw that there is something terribly wrong with my relative. She really is disabled when she is like that. There’s no way she could work. She can barely even talk, for Chrissake.

It’s pretty hard to describe severe Major Depression but once you have seen it, it seems so weird and bizarre that it almost seems in the category of schizophrenia and acute mania. They’re crazy. Yep, you can be so depressed that you are frankly completely nuts.

When I saw her like that, I realized that she was completely pitiful, and I no longer thought she was faking her illness. Thing is when she is not having an episode, she seems pretty normal, and you get mad at her and think she is faking her illness. Supposedly even in these times she is ill, but you really can’t see it.

She is bizarrely moody though, even for a flaky female. You are walking on eggshells the whole time you around her. She gets upset by any little thing and blows up into huge tantrums. You have to watch your words extremely carefully and try not to insult her or bring up any of her trigger issues.

I finally figured out that you can’t criticize feminism because she is a full-blown feminazi. My Mom is also a hardcore feminist, but I could not figure it out until she was ~75 years old. Or maybe she got worse.

You also cannot criticize or say anything remotely negative about women in any way, shape, or form with my Mom or this relative. Women are perfect and men are all seriously flawed.

All feminists believe exactly that, and it took me until a few years ago to finally figure that out. In fact that is one of the core hard beliefs of feminism: Women are perfect; men are anywhere from seriously flawed to pure evil. The only women they hate are the “traitors” who side with the men against the feminists on some of their issues.

Of course this proves that feminism is just another form of Identity Politics idiocy.

I think women are just sensitive. Sensitivity means emotionality and to us men that seems crazy or flaky because a highly emo man is seen as crazy/flaky.

I have seen comments about men describing them as having “almost female levels of flake.” These guys were PUA’s who probably had some Cluster B stuff going on at some level like most players.

There is a site on the Manosphere which is too misogynistic for my tastes, but nevertheless had some of the finest insights on women that I have ever seen. One guy who writes for the site said:

LOL All bitches are crazy. Don’t even try to figure them out!

That’s actually excellent advice. I don’t agree with referring to all women as bitches, but from the male point of view, most women definitely seem crazy to us. This craziness is seen in its full extent if you get involved with them sexually or as a close friend. As a close friend you will see how unstable she is, and as a lover she will direct a lot of her pent-up instability towards you.

On the other hand if you only know a woman informally as a landlord, relative, store owner, worker, or coworker, you may never see much instability. Women have an amazing ability to compartmentalize their instability.

I never found that the women I knew as casual acquaintances were unstable. I have never found my female coworkers to be unstable in any job. Hell, the men were more unstable at some jobs. Gay men in particular can be dramatically unstable and flaky at work, sometimes far worse than women.

My “Social Skills”

First of all, I would like to point out that the word is typically used in very stupid ways. A person that “lacks skills” implies that they don’t know the rules. The truth is that you can know all the rules times ten and still screw up constantly. There’s more to it than just knowing the rules.

For one thing, a lot of people may seem weird, strange, odd, or awkward and no matter how hard they try, they can’t seem to stop acting this way . They may have an anxiety disorder, a mood disorder, or a personality disorder to the extent that they simply can’t even come across all that normally no matter how hard they try. For someone like this, knowing all the rules in the world is utterly useless.

This person doesn’t “lack social skills” are moronic clinicians insist. They have something wrong with their brains that causes an impairment in social functioning that they can’t change no matter how hard they try.

I’m actually quite good at social skills. I never would have had all this success with women and girls if I didn’t. Social retards don’t get laid. And they’re never players.

I know hundreds of thousands of the crazy rules, but I get frustrated and sometimes I violate the topic rules because it gets old talking about the weather all the time.

Also I am a rebellious asshole that likes to destroy things just for kicks, at least in my mind’s eye if not literally. The way I view society is that I basically hate it and want to fuck it up. I see society as a gigantic establishment that I want to walk into, totally destroy for no reason, and then walking out laughing my ass off. I don’t actually do such things but I often feel like doing the social equivalent of that.

I can’t bother with too much of this uptight BS with a mindset like that.

My mind goes a mile a minute, and I am always analyzing every aspect of every interaction to monitor it, see how it’s going, whether it needs to be adjusted, the trajectory of it, etc.

I respond to nonverbal communication during conversations, often with micromovements as I adjust my facial and body movements to their conversation.

I am very good at nonverbal communication and even picking up on subtle, cryptic remarks, although sometimes I have to wait 6-12 hours or even a day or two of thinking about mysterious nonverbal stuff and extremely cryptic remarks to try to put the puzzle together. Other times I have to run it by my Mom or one of my friends and try to figure what the Hell this weird cryptic person meant by this, that, or the other speech or behavior.

But I get it usually pretty quickly, but sometimes it can take me months to put together the whole plot especially if it’s cryptic, mysterious behavior that has been unfolding for months. I notice the pattern after a bit, and I try to put it together, but often I can’t. I can usually tell if some locale, person, or group is on a downhill trajectory or not though. I’ll notice that, but figuring what’s behind it all is often extremely difficult.

Database in My Head

I keep databases in my head of everyone I talk to or interact with at all which are updated and adjusted constantly. They deal with where where I am with this person; whether I can talk to them or not and if so, for how long and about what; what our past interactions have been like; what’s the trajectory of the relationship; what this person’s emotional feelings and attitudes are towards me, why they feel this way, and what I did, if anything, to make them feel this way; any possible cryptic feelings they might have for me; what I can say and do with this person and vice versa; any past social failures I made them, what I did wrong, whether they got over it, and what lessons I learned; whether a woman is interested in me or not; on and on.

To a lesser extent, I try to figure out where I am with guys, but guys are a lot more chill than women. Most guys are not a problem and I don’t need to database them too much.

Social Dangers of Gay Men

Gay men are much more difficult than straight men to deal with, and young gay men are often a complete nightmare, much worse than the worst young women. All the bitchiness of a woman at her worst and combine it with a  huge dose of testosterone to add an element of high male aggression to the bitchiness.

The aggressive bitchiness also makes them quite vindictive and dangerous. I got fired by a gay male boss once and it was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. Ever since then I am extremely wary about having any gay bosses at any job. If I was required to have a gay boss at a job, I might just quit. That one guy soured me on them for a lifetime.

Many gay men are notorious fussbudgets, rules/manners freaks, and what I would call picky little fussy bitches. Some get upset, annoyed, and bitchy on a very regular basis, almost as much as a typical woman. Some young gay men are fine, but a number of young gay men are walking landmines, much more dangerous than a lot of young women.

Older gay men are often pretty chill although I haven’t dealt with a whole lot of them. They usually calm down a lot as they age like most humans do.

Alt Left: Violation of Natural Law: A Theory Explaining Male and Female Homosexual’s Unhappiness and Psychological Disturbance

RL: And the sad thing about gay men is that gay men are most attracted to masculine men – IOW straight men, but straight men won’t have them. They’re not really into the other effeminate men they hook up with. So maybe that is why their lives tend to be rather sad. Lesbians also have a reputation for leading sad lives. “The Well of Loneliness” is a lesbian classic from the 1930’s.

I’ve wondered why gays and lesbians are not as happy and seem to be more mentally ill than straights. They are finding this even in cultures where discrimination is about zero. So it seems there is something inherent in homosexuality that makes people nutty, unhappy, and possibly unfulfilled.

My theory is that they violating Natural Law. They’re going against Nature. And things that go against Nature don’t really work. And people who go against Nature are often not very happy. Mother Nature bats last. Nature wants us to live our lives in certain ways, and when we don’t live our lives as nature dictates, we violate Nature and hence are unhappy because we are going against our “programming.”

To which Polar Bear responds:

You can’t fight Nature.

Lesbians with their fake dicks can only really have oral sex.

A gay will never give birth from his ass.

Transgenders, male to female, are likely more mentally ill but often less annoying than a flaming queer cis male. Of course, the ones that split their banana most always regret it – still not a pussy. Female to male dicks are even less realistic.

The happiness of these groups is a glimmer. The passable trannies’ passability, the twinks’ twinkle, the lesbian couples’ sex, etc. all fade fast. A straight couple has more natural permanence. While the old gay homo sucks the life out of some bum in a dark alley like a mohel, the sun shines on the straight couple sipping lemonade and holding hands while watching their great grand-kids play.

I really like Polar Bear’s comments. They’re almost poetic.

Case History: Boy, Age 15, Killing Puppies

In my peer counseling practice, I have so far had two animal killers. One was a 16 year old boy in Germany. He came to me about violent thoughts but he didn’t and couldn’t pay. Nonetheless he was so profoundly disturbed (killing puppies) that I felt that he needed an immediate intervention so I simply worked with him for free. Also I sometimes work with teenagers for free as they can never pay.

This boy had rescued a dog and made a pet out of it. It was a female and soon enough it had puppies. The boy then strangled all of the puppies one by one.

I was very alarmed by this, but I had to tread very carefully. I did not get angry at him for killing the puppies, nor did I act shocked. My attitude was just, “Ok, so you killed some puppies.” I told him that killing puppies was wrong, and he should not have done that. This prompted a weepy apology session where he tried to defend himself by saying it wasn’t his fault. I accepted his apology and didn’t bother him about killing the puppies.

However, I did say that I wanted this puppy-killing to stop, and I didn’t want to hear about him killing any more puppies. I was emphatic about this. He readily agreed.

A lot of clinicians will freak out and get very angry at a client who is killing mammals, but I think that is the wrong approach. The client is just going to get his back up at best, and he may well get up and walk out of the room at worst.

Even if you are shocked and horrified by the mammal-killing, it is important to not show your feelings. You can raise your eyebrows, suck in your breath, say, “Wow”, things like that, but don’t get mad at them. However, you need to throw down a hard limit of no more mammal-killing at least while the client is talking to you.

Not all mammal-killers are bad human beings. A lot of them are but not all of them. Some of them are good people who are simply ill. Also it’s just a lower mammal. Killing a dog or a cat, as much as we love them, is simply not the same as killing a human, sorry.

I finally figured out that he was probably hallucinating voices although he denied that he was, as he called them thoughts and not voices. But you can tell through careful questioning and listening carefully to their answers whether you are dealing with thoughts or hallucinations. Sometimes what people describe as “thoughts” are actually auditory hallucinations. He was getting command hallucinations telling him to kill the puppies, and he was acting on them.

He also had some other problems. His mother was dead. At age 13, his mother had taken him and herself to the railroad tracks in order to get hit by a train and commit dual suicide. At the last minute the boy ran away from the train. The mother stayed on the tracks and was killed. That’s a pretty traumatizing experience!

He had a flat attitude about him where he was always saying, “I don’t care.” It seemed a bit odd how he seemed to not care about so many things.

He kept to himself at school and drew pictures a lot. For some reason his behavior was odd enough that his schoolmates bullied him. They often hit him. He would fight back vigorously, so he was getting into fights all the time. I didn’t think this was pathological, as he was just defending himself.

After he killed the puppies he felt so guilty that he put his hands in boiling water for a long time to punish himself. This had caused some injuries to his hands.

He also didn’t get along with his father at all for whatever reason.

He was extremely confused sexually and most of his early sexual experiences from 13-on had been with other boys. But now he had a girlfriend with whom he was having regular sex, and he said he had discovered that he liked sex with women just fine. I figured he was probably straight or at least not gay. He was one of the most sexually confused people I have ever dealt with.

He also told me that he had killed a pet rabbit when he was five years old. After a bit I figured out that this was in response to a command hallucination also.

I relayed the case to a former therapist, a clinical psychologist, and he told me that mammal killers are often either psychopaths or psychotic. He also suggested that this boy may be on the track to develop Borderline Personality Disorder. He was a Pre-Borderline if you will.

We have to say this because we cannot diagnose personality disorders in people under 18 because personality often changes quite a bit, especially in adolescence. In particular, a lot of adolescents appear psychopathic but then they age out of it as they become adults. A lot of juvenile delinquents are actually just “temporary” criminals.

The BPD did fit with the self-harm (Borderline men, like Borderline women, often self-harm), the constant fighting (Borderline men often pick fights a lot), the identity confusion, and the sexual confusion.

Borderline men are bad. They’re much worse than Borderline women.

I told him it was absolutely imperative that he get to a psychiatrist and find out what was going on with his head. His father convinced him to go to a psychiatrist, and he was diagnosed with schizophrenia as I suspected.

He had a rather apathetic and “so what?” attitude about that too.

People can be apathetic for various reasons. I had an OCD man who wrote to me once with a 10 page long history of his illness. He was from India.

He worried about every stupid thing under the sun, but he also kept saying, “I don’t care” through the paper. In this case, obviously he did care and in fact, he cared way too much. So the constant “I don’t care” was probably a defense against his over-caring and the illness that developed out of it. It was a thought compulsion to counteract the excessive caring that was causing the obsessions.

However, in this case, the apathy made sense to me after his diagnosis because schizophrenics often seem apathetic, and one of the symptoms of the illness is flat emotions.

So you see not all mammal-killers are psychopaths. There can be other things going on too.

However, I must say that this boy was one of the most seriously disturbed clients I have ever had.

Masculine and Feminine Styles of Going Crazy

Borderline Personality Disorder manifests in different ways according to sex and gender. Borderline women turn a lot of their rage inwards into pain in the feminine style, while Borderline men turn their pain outwards into rage in the masculine style.

In both cases what is being internalized or externalized is something I would call different things: Pain, hurt, negativity. Possibly pain fits best. So in that sense all outward rage is simply inner pain directed outwards. And all inner pain is simply outward rage directed inwards.

Also a very high percentage of Borderline men are gay or bisexual. This makes sense as BPD is a female or feminine disorder. Borderline is simply the way that the Feminine Spirit goes crazy, and in that sense, all women are a bit Borderline.

Females go crazy in histrionic, borderline (both dramatic), and depressive (inwards) ways.

Males go crazy in psychopathic, narcissistic (male styles of dramatic, which are often quite aggressive), and manic (outwards and not uncommonly aggressive) ways.

  • Narcissism in the male or masculine person = Borderline in the female/gay man  or feminine person.
  • Psychopathy in the male or masculine person = Histrionic in the female/gay man or feminine person.
  • Mania in the male or masculine person = Depression in the female or feminine person.

I have argued before that male and female psychopaths or criminals are different, hence, we have masculine and feminine criminal styles:

  • Generalized criminality with a lot of aggression and even violence in the male = Prostitution and thievery in the female.

 

NSFW: Some Women Actually Enjoyed Getting Molested As Girls

NSFW!

Warning: This post contains a lot of highly disturbing material adults having sex minors, including the child molestation of little girls. If you find this sort of thing disturbing and upsetting, then don’t read. If you do read don’t come back and tell what a horrible person I am for writing about this sort of thing.

Also, a caveat: I am not saying it is a good thing for men to molest girls when they are young. Clearly, many girls are harmed by this practice. In quite a few cases, they get over it quickly, but one can argue that there was still harm. If someone robs me and I get over my trauma soon enough, but I still got harmed, let’s face it. And many girls are harmed long term by being molested, and in quite a few cases, the damage lingers into adulthood.

Some of the sequelae of getting molested are Borderline Personality Disorder, involved in the sex trade, masochism, addiction to abusive men, low to zero desire for sex, difficulty in maintaining sexual relationships, and PTSD.  There may be others but these are the only ones I can think of. Some studies have even visually mapped this damage on brain scans.

Now it’s quite obvious that women who get molested vary. Many suffer long term damage, but for many others, the damage is short term. An unknown group of others actually regard the experience as positive.

For those who regard the experience as positive, the sequelae are nonetheless similar to those who got harmed: involved in the sex trade, masochism or a desire for abusive sex, addiction to older men, and the most prominent of all – promiscuity, often extreme promiscuity.

It’s not PC to say that some women liked it and were not harmed at all, but that’s the science, so that’s the conclusion that we need to go with. Such outcomes may have discussed in the famous paper by Judith Reiner et al around 1999 which said that harm from molestation stemmed whether it was consensual or not.

Girls who went along with and agreed to it experienced short term or no harm at all. Those who were coerced (the majority) often experienced long term harm. Pedophiles have been using  this study to justify the molestation of children, which was to be expected. Nevertheless, the science is the science and we must support the truth in all cases, which by the way is an Alt Left position.

The fact that even many women who were harmed nevertheless enjoyed the sex is well-known and this is part of the therapy of the problem.

I knew one woman who was molested at age 8 and got over it. However she said the experience was confusing because it felt good but it was wrong.

Girls and later women wrestle with this internal contradiction. Many of those seriously harmed often experience extreme guilt over the fact that they felt pleasure in being molested. This is one of the main issues that needs to be addressed in  any therapy.

Any man who intends to molest a girl, regardless of the legality of the matter, ought to think of the consequences for the girl. That girl may well be harmed very long-term, for decades or maybe for life. In that sense it is like stealing from her, beating her up, or out and out raping her. Maybe you should think twice about that.

Besides, if you get caught, your life will be pretty much ruined. If you go to jail or prison, you will be in serious danger there and may well be attacked or possibly even killed. You will be on the Sex Offender List for the rest of your life with all the consequences that flow from that. I would say think about it.

This nonsense has been going on too long. Earlier we could plead innocence of cultural values, but now we know better.

The practice is widespread across cultures and is very common even in some primitive tribes in places like Australia and New Guinea. It was very common in ancient Rome and among the poor in  the West during the 18th and  19th centuries when it was associated with crowded conditions. Even today in India, 53% of Indian women get molested as girls.

My own position is that we men have been having sex with those little girls forever now. Isn’t about time that we knocked it off! It’s a human rights issue.

Some women who were molested as girls found the experience positive. Not only were they not harmed but they claimed it was positive and beneficial.

I know it goes against everything you heard, but it’s true.

Some molesters are simply extreme libertines or trysexuals. They have no particular interest in kids and instead are just the types who “try anything” sexually.

I have talked to a couple of women who were raised in “loving families.”

I talked to one who spent half the year in Hong Kong and the other half in the Caribbean and started having sex with her mother and stepfather at age 6. This continued all through teenage years when she was known as the blow job queen at the local junior high (White boys only).

She was a Black woman with a White man fetish, as her stepfather was White, and her Mom was Black. She continued to have sex with her stepfather and maybe Mom to this very day. These “pedo families” are fairly common. It was all a big secret, and she didn’t want to give me too much information, as she was worried I might go to the police and get the mother and stepfather in trouble.

I also talked to an 18 year old girl from the US Northeast who was in one of these families. I guess it was the cousins and the uncles or just the males in the family. They started having sex with her at age 8. She had two sisters, one 14 and another…I forget…9? Both of the girls were also having sex with each other and with the males. It  was all a big secret. I am not sure if any of these men were actual pedophiles or not.

I talked to a British woman age 24 who started getting molested by her uncle at age 9. They apparently “trained” her to be a total slut. From age 13-on she regularly had sex with the uncle and his older man friends, including gangbangs with groups of these older men. She told me about one gangbang when she was 13. They made her recite some line from “Harry Potter” when they came on her.

At some point she got really fucked up about all this as is typical, but then she decided that if this happened, I may as well make the best of it and learn to enjoy it and label it is a positive experience.

She now had a serious older man fetish, and she regularly has sex with older men in hotel rooms, etc. Other than that, her sexual interests were pretty normal.

These older men who had sex with her as a teen took a ton of photos and videos of her getting gangbanged and whatnot. She admitted that it would turn her on to see this stuff and she had been asking around the underground community to try to find the videos of herself, if they ever got distributed that is.

She said people had sent her a bunch of teenage girl CP, and she had looked at it but didn’t find any of herself. She wasn’t really worried about getting caught.

She called me “Mister” and had sort of a strange robotic, emotionless way about her. I saw her pic and she is really hot. Apparently neither her uncle nor the other older men were pedophiles.

I met another woman about 40 who had grown up in one of these “sex families,” and she thought it was a very positive experience. Her father had started having sex with her at age 5. Her sexual interests were pretty normal. Her father was apparently not a pedophile.

I met an 18 year old girl college student from the Midwest who worked as a stripper. She was really nice but she didn’t talk all that much. Her uncle raped her when she was 12.

After that he turned her into some sort of a total sex slave. He trained her to deep throat, and she was also a toilet slave (yuck). She liked some one aspect the latter but not the other part of it.

He tied her to the bed all day when he was gone and put diapers on her if she pissed or shit when she was tied up. He also made her wear diapers when they went out. That’s all pretty gross to me, but she told me that now she had a serious diaper fetish as a result.

He also stuck a dildo her in mouth and taped it in, and she would have to have this thing in her throat all day. This was deep throat training. I asked her if she vomited but she said if that thing is in your throat you can’t puke, which is probably correct. This was all to train her to deep throat.

He also made her have sex with another 12 year old girl at age 12. I asked her why she continued this abusive activity for years, and she said she felt she did not have a choice, and she thought he owned her, which I guess is what he told her.

The uncle also took a ton of photos and film. He got caught when she was 17, and after a trial was sentenced to a long prison term. I asked her what she thought of that, and she had no opinion. All of the photos and videos were confiscated, and there was a ton of it.

Mom was a severe alcoholic and the girl had a lock on her door as a teenage girl to keep the raging mother from coming in and beating her. I guess the mother either allowed the sex with the uncle to happen or she was too wasted to care. The uncle was not a pedophile at all, as he started having sex with her at age 12 and continued til age 17.

She was a total submissive into perverted, abusive sex involving degradation, humiliation, etc. She wanted to be dominated or dommed big-time. I actually liked her and thought she was a good person. She was vaguely bisexual but mostly into men.

I met another who was as Berber woman from Northeastern Mali. Her Dad had started having sex with her at age 9. She and her father were in love. She was 23 years old now and still having sex with the father.

The father pimped her out as a prostitute, and this is what she did all day – got fucked by men. She was into some sort of male worship and said she was put on this Earth to serve and be a slave to men, and she didn’t want any pleasure herself. She was also heavy into degrading sex – the more degrading, the better.

She had sex with women but considered herself straight because she got no pleasure from it. Some of the johns would bring in a girl or a woman and pay for a lesbian show. She told me that she had been “cut” via genital mutilation, and she said all the girls there got cut this way.

I argued that this was bad, and she was very defensive of it and thought it was great because she thought females should just be slaves to and serve men and not get any pleasure themselves.

She was a rather curt and unfriendly person with a list of 100 rules about stuff you could not talk to her about or what sort of tone you had to have with her. She was pretty arrogant about this and quit talking to me after I complained. She was bitchy, difficult, curt, short, and in a chronically annoyed mood.

She thought she was better than other people – she had some narcissism. She got a college education in London and then went back to Mali. She said it was a difficult neighborhood around there with Al Qaeda Islamist types out and about.

She most of these people were apolitical. There were all sorts of warlords and organized crime/smuggler types who were in the area, and these Al Qaeda guys were just another group of gangsters and warlords and really had no particular political or even religious philosophy. Her father was not a pedophile.

Lousy Women Part 1: Worst Date Ever

Onto my worst date ever. Only maybe six weeks ago. The latest one was just a thieving quasi-whore. I matched her on Tinder and she wanted to date immediately and I am sorry but that really is a huge red flag right there.

I have had a couple of dates off Tinder and neither one jumped me right away. It took four days conversation with one and a month or so with the other until I got a date.

The only women who want to fuck you immediately are whores, thieves, scammers, these quasi-whore thieving bitches. The ones who wanted to fuck either stole money from me or tried to steal money from me. If they want to fuck right away, they are probably thieving scammers.

So I go down there, pick her up and it’s automatically scammy. She’s from Texas and out here all alone. She’s not living at a regular pad but instead she is saying at some Home for Wayward Women Drug Addicts.

She was on meth really bad and got put into this drug program somehow. She was telling me about how her father and grandmother both hated her guts and I was sympathetic. Now I see why they hated her. She’s an evil psychopathic thieving cunt from Hell.

Female readers: I am not calling all women bitches and cunts, but clearly quite a few women are bitches and some are even out and out cunts. But many women are neither. I am talking about a certain species of shitty women. I am not talking about women in general.

This is already getting weird. Finally I see her and she’s dragging a suitcase. Can she stay at my place for a few days as she is completely homeless? This completely takes me aback and once again this is very suspicious and scammy.

She is all alone, broke and homeless in a strange city and she tells me she is thinking about whoring to get the money she needs to get by. Red flag!

Not only are whores and all of the other camgirl whores, amateur porn star whores, picture seller whores, porn star whores, and stripper whores mostly all horrible women, but wannabe whores and ex-whores are also terrible.

The real whores you can use for sex, you can watch the strippers or the camgirls perform, you can buy amateur porn videos or the nude photos, but do not get involved in a dating relationship with any of these types of women.

They are basically thieves who live their whole lives to steal from us men by promising or giving out sex. To her you are a human credit card or a walking ATM.

We go into a store and I buy her some smokes. She doesn’t want to be seen with me because “people will talk.” This is a huge scammy red flag as these thieving cunt types often don’t want to be seen in public with you.

Later we go to a Starbucks but she won’t come in with me. We go to a drug store to buy her a bottle and she ditches me in the store.

Men if you are ever involved in any dating situation where the woman acts like she does not want to be seen in public with you, it is a huge red flag and she’s possibly trying to scam you.

We agree to my place and have sex. Earlier I had bought her a sex toy at an adult video store because she wanted one to masturbate with.

I also bought her some female horny pills. Well the pills start working and she’s getting really horny. If I don’t want to fuck her, she is going in my room, lying down on my bed and using the toy to get herself off. That’s how horny she is. I get a tit feel for a minute or two, which is nice.

Transactional dating. If you want to go out with them, you have to spend money on them. I paid a bill for her, bought her a sex toy and some sex stimulant pills and a bottle of booze. Basically the deal was you buy me this stuff and then I will fuck you.

Actually she was technically homeless and she said she wanted to move in with me for a while. She brought a suitcase to my house. She refused to come into my house with me, once again not wanting to be seen with me. Huge red flag again. She wants to stay in the car awhile.

I go in and later she comes in. She talks for an hour or so a bunch of weird babble and recites some great poem she wrote that is going to be a hit song except it is truly an awful poem.

My brother is over there and we chat for an hour or so. Her suitcase is in my room. All of a sudden things get really weird and she has to leave for no intelligible reason.

I told her she stole $70 from me and I called her a thieving whore. I said you ripped me off. She gave me her ID as collateral and said she would pay me back.

She shows up the next day and wants her ID back. I say give me the $70. She tries to pay me $25 of it, then we fight over the card for a while and things get weird because I won’t give the cunt her ID until she gives me some money.

Somehow she got the card out of me without paying any money. Somehow I followed her outside the house but then she took off running to a waiting Uber driver. She’s just a thieving cunt. She’s not even a proper whore.

So $70 for a titty feel. Something tells me that’s not worth it.

Unbelievably she calls me back a few days later and has her own place and invites me over. But she needs $70. Heard that song before. Blocked her.

Cunts like that have as their sole purpose on this Earth to steal as much money as they can from us men. This one was a certified psychopath. These bitches are the enemies of all of the men.

Sometimes I dream of a world where we men would get together and just kill cunts like this. In a truly patriarchal society like Arab society, she would have been killed a while back. That’s one good thing about patriarchy. It keeps the women in line.

Are Psychopaths Evil?

I am not sure if any of you readers have ever dealt with a true, pure hardcore psychopath, male or female. I’ve met maybe two in my life and a couple of others who had traits but maybe not the full disorder. They were bad news too and even the ones with traits ended up damaging me.

If you have met them did you get the feeling that they were evil? I do not like to use the word evil, but I can’t think of a better way to describe psychopaths, male or female.

In addition to the  woman described below, I have also dealt with a male true psychopath, and he also could be described as evil for lack of any better word. Like her, he was also mixed race – in this case half-Black and half-Hispanic. His background was Cuban. He was simply a monster or better yet a devil. Pond scum who frankly ought to be deleted from the planet.

In a way psychopaths are almost what I would call pure evil. We know what evil is in a vague sort of way, and we run into bits of it on a daily basis. But when we finally deal with a true psychopath for a long enough period of time (often only a few hours), we finally see what we now recognize as our concept of pure true evil manifested in a single human being. In other words, when you look at a psychopath, you are seeing the face of pure, true evil.

Psychopathic women are also monsters just like psychopathic men, but they are usually a lot less aggressive, destructive and violent. Instead they are just lying, thieving cunts from Hell. While male psychopaths are much worse than the females, we should not kid ourselves: there are absolutely some women out there who are pure evil.

Alt Left: The Flat Out Truth for Black People: The Vast Majority of Whites Do Not Particularly Dislike You

This is the flat out truth for Black people:

Most Whites don’t hate you.

There is no such thing as systemic or structural racism. Yes, 1/3 of Whites don’t like you, but that’s not most of us. Deal with it. Life’s tough. Life’s not fair. Life’s a bitch and then you die. You need to just toughen up and deal with a reality where a good third of Whites don’t like them. You need to get a thicker skin.

Most of your many problems are your own damned fault. I assume that there’s nothing wrong with Black genes (a big if) so that means that your culture is the source of most of Black problems since we know these problems are not due to racism.

Or should I say certain Black cultures or subcultures because there are Black subcultures that are pretty good as I am just now discovering. But the problem ghetto culture that causes most Black problems has ensnared over 50% of you, or at least of your women. That’s my impression from dating sites. On Tinder a good half of the Black women on there are more or less part of that culture. On Bumble it’s not much different.

You already have most rights. The problem isn’t lack of rights, but instead it is simply that far too many of you  act far too lousy. Yes, many Whites act lousy too, and a lot of Whites act pretty damned lousy. But the issue is that far more Blacks than Whites behave badly and their bad behavior is generally worse in quality than White bad behavior.

I have decided that the main problem with Blacks in that ghetto culture (and I have known quite a few) is lack of empathy. They simply have less empathy than the rest of us. They are not without empathy since most are not actual psychopaths, but they have a lot less empathy than Whites.

They also take responsibility for nothing and blame everything on the people that they victimize. In other words, they victimize you in some way or other and then insist that they didn’t or that you victimized yourself or that somehow you acted so horrible that it was within their rights to victimize you.

They are basically what I would call scammers. They more or less scam their way through life and victimize large numbers of people, often in minor ways, on a near quotidian basis.

And most of them have elevated psychopathy or sociopathy. I do not mean they are psychopaths, though I have definitely run into Black psychopaths.

Psychopathy exists on a scale of 0-40 and both zero’s and 40’s are not common, however, Ted Bundy was unusual in that he actually scored a perfect 40 on the PCL. Most of us  do not have zero psychopathy so you can say that we are all at least a bit psychopathic in some way or other. Low levels of psychopathy are not a problem to deal with since people with low psychopathy levels simply act like most people you meet every day.

However, just for the sake of argument, let’s say your average White has a PCL score of 5 out of 40. Repeated testing over  decades has shown that Blacks have a psychopathy level about twice that of Whites. So let’s say your average Black has a  psychopathy scale of say 10 out of 40. So their level is twice our level. Now a person with a PCL score of 10 is not a psychopath in any way. You need at least a score of 20 to be labeled a psychopath, and 98% of humans score below 20.

Instead Blacks are in the normal human range for psychopathy. However, within that normal range, Blacks do show significantly higher levels of psychopathy than Whites, typically in minor ways harm others but only on a low level, and this will be apparent and can be observed in their behavior on a nearly day to day basis.

They are more annoying than infuriating and enraging. Instead of wanting to kill them you just shake your head and say this is a lousy person, and I am simply not going to deal with them anymore. So you act like they are not there, and don’t even greet them when you see them. You also develop a rather cynical and disgusted attitude towards them and their ilk.

Portrait of a Type: The Psychopathic Woman or “The Whore”

I recently dated one – a Black woman.  As you might guess she was more or less a whore like far too many Black women. Actually, to be fair, the woman was actually 50% Black, 25% Hispanic, and 25% White.Not an out and out whore. More of a “transactional sex” whore. She was actually considering doing real out and out whoring, which is not surprising.

I had some very unfortunate dealings with this evil cunt, and she was absolutely a female psychopath. I had never actually dealt with one up close. This was also the most manipulative woman I have ever met. In addition, she was a pathological liar, in fact she was one of the most brilliant liars I have ever met. She was basically a con artist and a very skilled one at that. In a way her social skills were absolutely brilliant. And that was on top of a not particularly high IQ of ~80.

Female psychopaths are similar to male psychopaths in a lot of ways, but they are not particularly violent or even aggressive. They’re just more or less charming thieves, or thieving whores is more like that. These diabolical cunts exist on this planet for the sole reason of stealing from us men.

I used to wonder why men killed whores, but I am starting to get it. About half of whores are the most evil bitches of all. This is as bad as a woman gets – a whore, a thieving, conniving Goddamned whore.

And “whore” is the typical outcome of the female psychopath. On the other hand in my opinion, male psychopaths are much worse than the female ones. The males are much more aggressive and dramatically more violent. The females are a bit hard to spot, as their basic demeanor is seductive, so they seem friendly at first. This is what makes them such brilliant con artists because initially they are quite attractive, especially in a sexual sense.

I have never met an actual White female psychopath but I have met a pretty psychopathic Hispanic woman. Actually I dated her too. Her and her evil little sister. Yeah, I dated two women at once, a first for me! And they were both hot too, 23 and 29 years old. And I was ~58.

The date was a catastrophe but at least I did it, and a good part of the date was spent with the older one flirting with me when she wasn’t try to out and out grab my dick. She and her wicked bitch sister were both all quite skilled liars. They were liars, but they were not pathological liars like the bitch above. But they were pretty good liars. She basically stole $20 from me somehow or other.

The thing about these women is that like most psychopaths they are brilliant at thinking on their feet and instant decision making. Often their words, decisions, and behavior don’t seem to make sense at all and you are left wondering, “Why the Hell did she even do that? Why did she say that? How weird.”

Their behavior initially seems strange, unfathomable, and even incomprehensible. The emotion that they leave in their wake and impart on their victim is mostly chaos and confusion. Everything seems to happen very fast, and things are changing all the time. They basically wrap you into some sort of a spell with their charming lies.

My brother was visiting me at the time when this woman. I ended up taking the bitches ID (well she gave it to me) as collateral for the money I spent on her which I argued was fraud. The next day she came back to get ID, but I kept it and insisted she pay me back for the money I wasted on her of that she stole from me. What  followed was a whirlwind of behavior that was baffling, hard to follow, threw me off my toes, and was an absolutely brilliant performance.

She somehow ended up getting her ID back from me and giving me zero dollars of the money. How she did it was diabolically complex, and in fact she tried a number of plans until she found one that succeeded. Her plans and lies changed on the spot. She would figure out one set of lies or a  plan was not working and she would switch on a dime to a new plan and a new set of lies. It was almost a masterpiece performance.

After the bitch left it was like I had been hit by a hurricane that whirled into my life, caused a lot of very weird confusion and destruction, and then whirled away like a tornado before I could blink an eye. The main emotion I was left with was, “What in the Hell was that?” That meant what was this person that I just experienced.

The conclusion is that this was a female psychopath, and the feeling after they use you and vanish is the same as with a male psychopath.

People who deal with male psychopath also describe a charming man who magically appears in their lives followed by a lot of very weird behavior that someone sucks you into it. They end up harming you in one way or another, usually to get something out of you, and then they also whirl away like a funnel cloud while you are spinning in your room asking, “What the Hell was that thing I just experienced?” That “thing” was a male psychopath.

So both male and female psychopaths whirl into people’s lives in similar ways, cause a lot of somehow charming chaos and drama, and then vanish as soon as they magically appeared, leaving you used, burned, and harmed in some way or other.

And with both types you are left spinning asking yourself what the Hell you just experienced. You are asking this because ultimately the behavior of a true psychopath is quite strange and they are extremely different from most humans to the point where they almost seem like aliens.

It took a couple of days of conversation with my brother until we decoded all of the weird things she said and did. What seemed incomprehensible and baffling and counterintuitive at first was actually all part of a fiendishly brilliant master plan if you will. I assume that all psychopaths act something like this.

And the plot and dialogue of the psychopath’s master plans is so complex and hard to comprehend that I assume a lot of people never really figure out the words and behavior of the psychopath who just harmed them. Psychopaths almost have a PhD in con artistry.

Alt Left: Why the Alt Left Exists

This is why there is an Alt Left. Click to enlarge.

This is why there even is such a thing as the Alt Left, in case you were wondering. Because in a sense we are opposed to all the nonsense and weirdness you see in this photo.

Granted there have always been people who were strange in terms of sexual gender, orientation, proclivity, or other ways. There have always been all sorts of sexual deviants and sexual perverts. Humans are very weird sexually, so it’s to be expected that there are going to be a lot of people who are sexually weird, perverted, or deviant.

I’m not opposed to that. I’m a bit of a pervert myself as a matter of fact. If there are a thousand perversions, I’d probably try 999 of them just to be an asshole and give the finger to everyone on Earth, especially uptight Puritanical society (feminists, I’m looking at you!).

But I wouldn’t get hooked on any of them because I am not a sex pervert. But a lot of people are. They get wired up that way in childhood and adolescence, and in general it’s not fixable. In most cases, perversions are no big deal.

There have always been non-heteroseuxals, small numbers of effeminate homosexual men and masculine lesbian women. It’s not normal but most can’t help it, and they probably got wired up that way. It’s ok for ~3% of the population to be gay or strange in this way.

But most importantly, homosexuality is not normal. Effeminate men who only want sex with men and disdain sex with women are strange. It’s not normal. Men are supposed to be masculine and desire to have sex with women while disdaining sex for their own kind. Women are supposed to be feminine and want sex with men and disdain exclusive or predominant sex with women.

I’m not against women being bisexual. I talk to bisexual women all the time, and I’ve even dated a couple. I just think they should like cock too and preferably prefer cock to pussy. Because once you start getting large numbers of women who prefer other women to men sexually, Houston, you’ve got a problem.

There have always been odd men who dressed up like women. Mostly they were homosexuals. They have always been strange perverted men who dress up like women as a sex perversion. But they mostly kept it to themselves.

There have always been butch lesbians who look and act very much like men.

But in general, none of these folks ever insisted that they were the opposite sex. It’s ok for men to be feminine or even effeminate. They’re still men for God’s sake. I don’t want it to become common, but there have always been these men. It’s ok for women to be masculine to very masculine. Of course they’re still women, anyone knows that.

Transsexualism is bizarre. Mostly there are no such thing as transsexuals. They’re all just mentally ill. Now I’d be the last one to want to discriminate against the mentally ill. I work with crazy people all the time. I’m even a bit nuts myself. 50% of the population has a disordered personality in the sense that they have traits of personality disorders. So having personality disorder traits is basically normal in humans.

We all have symptoms of mental illness at one time or another. Few of us will make it to the end without breaking mentally in one way or another, typically a mood disorder like Depression or some Anxiety Disorder. If you can make it to old age before you have your first breakdown, I’d say you are doing well.

That’s ok, but people should try to get as sane as they can. In spite of that, a lot of people are mentally disordered in some way or other even with the pills and therapy and whatnot. It’s ok if you can control your symptoms and try to behave as normal and non-disordered as possible.

I’m against discriminating against people with mental disorders. Most can work at jobs just fine. I’m against people harming people with mental disorders in any way. I’d have to support harming myself for Chrissake.

The Left in general was or should have been in favor of full rights for all these folks, the non-heterosexuals, the effeminate men and masculine women, and all of the sexually perverted as long as they don’t hurt others.

But in the past most of this was under wraps. Sure the guy next to you at the office seemed totally normal until one day you found out from his wife what he was really like in bed. He was weird as Hell. In the past, you said, “I don’t want to hear about it,” and moved on. Everyone else said the same thing. What happened in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

But now the weirdos, the freaks, the strange, the odd, the bizarre, the mentally ill, the perverted, and the sexually deviant are parading their oddness for all to see instead of keeping it behind closed doors or in their damned bedroom where it belongs.

The Left has become the champion of all of this bizarreness and abnormality to the point where it seems like they have declared war on the normal, the non-deviant, and the non-disordered. We are all supposed to be strange in some sexual or gender way now. It’s almost bad or uncool to be normal. Tens of millions of people are under vast pressure to quit acting normal and start acting weird and deviant.

Further, there’s nothing remaining of the Left. The Left stands for the Cultural Left Freakshow of oddness, weirdness, strangeness, craziness, deviancy, perversion and all manner of oddity against people who simply behave normally because normal is uncool now. And it doesn’t really stand for anything else. This is the Modern Left. That’s all there is. There’s nothing else. It’s nothing but a carnival freakshow.

Furthermore, why must the Left champion these odd folks with the wink that in order to be hip, we all need to act this way?

Who cares about these odd people? Why are they so damned important? Why are they more important, than you, me and all the rest of the regular folks? Yes, they deserve full rights, of course they do, especially if they keep their blatant oddness, like men wearing women’s clothes, behind closed doors where it belongs.

Of course non-heterosexuals deserve full rights, but why the obsession with 2% of the population that are homosexuals? How about if we talk about them 2% of the time (all they deserve) instead of 50% of the time? Heterosexuals are a good 92% of men, and most bisexual men lean straight. 93% of men are not gay or bisexual. 98% of women are not lesbians. 85% are heterosexual and most bisexual women lean straight. 93% of women are straight or lean straight.

Why don’t we talk about straight people? About masculine men and feminine women? About women who love men and men who love women? About people who don’t wear their sexual perversions on their labels with a button?

Is this the most important project of the Left? Champion the odd and unusual and disdaining the normal and typical? Do we need to talk about all this strangeness all the time?

Can we stop disdaining regular non-deviant folks for a minute? Can we maybe say it’s ok to be normal, to be a regular guy or a regular girl, to be a manly man or a girly girl?

Can we stop showering hate on masculinity except in the case of lesbians? Can we quit screaming at men to stop being masculine?

Can we please stop shaming and condemning women who desire to be feminine (talking to you, feminists), which is after all the normal and natural way for all human females? Can we stop praising women and girls who dress and act exactly like boys and men as the greatest thing since sliced bread?

Can we quit acting so Goddamned weird and maybe act normal for a change instead?

This is why there is an Alt Left, in case you were wondering. A lot of us have had it up to here with the celebration of weirdness, deviancy, perversion and mental illness on the Left. A lot of us think it’s ok to be regular guys and regular girls. A lot of us don’t understand why the Left can be the same way.

Alt Left: The Dangers of Medical Transition for Transsexuals, Especially During Childhood

I hope to do quite a few papers on this subject. In general there is no such thing as transsexualism and there is no such thing as transsexuals. Nobody is born in the wrong body.

~10% of transsexuals, mostly gay transwomen, do have a female-shifted brain, but it is not an actual female brain. Their brain is simply in between a male and female brain, so it is female-shifted if you will. But there is no one who is stuck in the  wrong body. No one has a female brain in a male body or vice versa.

And a recent flood of new cases, mostly in teenage girls, is simply a mental illness being caused by social contagion. In this sense it is quite similar to Anorexia Nervosa and in fact, these girls resemble anorexics in  many ways. All of this is completely fake. None is real at all.

I have to have some sympathy for some transsexuals, mostly gay transwomen. These boys have stubbornly insisted that they were girls from an early age such as two or three. Such cases are intransigent and resistant to treatment. I am just fine with transition for these folks.

The rest are just mostly very effeminate gay men who are so effeminate that they think  they are women, sort of an extreme form of homosexuality.

Many transmen are simply very butch lesbians. Whereas in the past they would simply have identified as lesbians and lived their lives this way (something I am just fine with in these cases as I feel it is biological), now they are insisting that they are really men and transitioning. As might be expected a lot of lesbians are pretty mad about this. They hate men enough anyway, and now many of the recent crop of lesbians are insisting that they are the hated gender. Oh noes!

Puberty blockers are catastrophic and they are being given out en masse to very young children nowadays. The results are disastrous and I think this should be done seldom if ever.

Risks of puberty blockers: Sterility and permanent loss of sexual function. Very high levels of sterility. Impairment of bone mineralization, hence weak bones that easily break. Impairment of proper hip development (females only). Results in a male hip instead of a proper hourglass shaped female hip.

Risks cross-sex hormones for MtF only: 5X rate of throboembolic disease. The estrogen causes blood clots in these men’s veins, how I have no idea. Gynecomastia, rarely reversible. These men develop female-type breasts or moobs that never  go away.

Risks of cross-sex hormones for FtM only: Hirsutism, very difficult to reverse. They will have hairy bodies for the rest of their lives even is they detransition. For instance, even if these women go back to being women, they will still have to shave their faces for the rest of their lives. Deeper voice – this is permanent.

Risks of cross-sex hormones only: Elevated heart attack rate, possibly in both sexes.

Transition unnecessary in childhood – no need for immediate transition to prevent suicide: No evidence that transition with drugs and surgery before adulthood reduces the trans suicide rate.

Fake disorder – transsexualism is not real – they are all just mentally ill: Rates of mental disorder and autism among FtM transsexuals are very high, mostly Borderline Personality Disorder and autism.

Unnecessary – goes away on its own: 80% of childhood onset gender dysphoria resolves, often with puberty.

PUA/Game: The Varieties of Whoring Experience: Thieving Whores, Transactional Sex Whores, and Real Whores

SHI: Dude can use his girlfriend/wife as a money minting machine. I wouldn’t mind a stripper for LTR. I am as depraved as they come.

What if she doesn’t hand me over her money? I’ll just be a good pimp and beat her ass till she’s bleeding all over. I’ll fucking kill her if my ATM plans to dump me.

I wish though I were this bad though. Unfortunately I can only talk.

Those are the type of guys stripper types usually end up with, frankly. Their boyfriends are usually glorified pimps (“managers”), criminals, and often hard drug users, often dope shooters who use needles. The women’s relationships with these men are quite tumultuous, and I think they are often accused of taking the women’s money.

I very briefly dated a woman who wanted me to get her into porn and I guess be her manager. She was Black and was also a former call girl and strippogram girl.

I actually picked her up right off the street in Century City amidst the skyscrapers. Not as a whore, more as a secretary on lunch break, which is exactly what she was. She smiled and waved to me, so I pulled over. She said she was just going to get some lunch, and would I like to get some? I said sure and she jumped in. I asked why she waved me down, and she said, “Because you’re cute! I was looking for a cute guy to go to lunch with,” flashing a grin as wide as an LA freeway.

I said ok, and we had lunch on Sunset Boulevard in some place across from the Whiskey A-Go-Go. The waitress was staring at me like a robot the way they always do when you’re with a hot chick. Women are like money. It takes one to get one,  and it takes some to get some. Either way you start at zero and you stay at zero. Then we made a date for later that night.

I met her at some barber shop in South Central where she was getting her hair cut later that afternoon.

There were some old school Black men there. One had an antique Coke machine, and I engaged him about it. He told me all about it and showed me another one. He was acting pretty strange the whole time but not unfriendly at all. Maybe wary and like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  I later asked her about it and she told me that he didn’t like White men. He was nice enough to me but he did seem uncomfortable. I guess he couldn’t understand why I was so nice.

I talked to some other Black guy there about his dialect and suggested it sounded like Gulla. He told me that indeed he had come from South Carolina. Both of those Black men were pretty damn nice considering that White people never went there.

We went to her place where she lived with her Mom, but no one was home. She very suspiciously asked me for a contact number, which freaked me out just a bit, but I guess it makes sense, and I’m  well enough used to it anyway.

We men are always being suspected of being raping murderers. I gave her my Mom’s number because she wanted a contact number, I guess in case I murdered her and left her for dead in a ditch somewhere. Now why she cared what happened afterwards if I murdered her and left her in a ditch I have no idea, but perhaps she believed in postmortem justice.

So we took off for her friends’ apartment in the Wilshire District, an extremely mixed Black-White neighborhood at that time. She’s was talking about “rock cocaine” with this weird gleam in her eyes, and wasn’t not quite sure why that was.

We went inside and it quickly unfolded that this was a mixed group of young Blacks and Whites, apparently single and in their 20’s. They said they worked for the phone company. They were all smoking crack. This was very interesting as I’d never tried the stuff before and was curious.

This was 1986 and the first time I had ever tried crack. The drug had just come out and the press was full of all these over the top horror stories.

Well, back then I was a drug dealer myself, and most of the outlaw dregs and lowlifes I ran with didn’t believe any “drug war propaganda,” which we considered to be laughable scare stories. Sadly sometimes these scare stories are true.

This is where the War on Drug squares screwed up. They turned everything into a scare story, so we quit listening to everything they said. It was a Boy Who Cries Wolf scenario, and how did that story end? The wolf ate the lambs, and the dope ate some of us.

They were using glass pipes. One Black guy was on the carpet on his hands and knees, and he was pressing his forehead against the carpet like he was trying to be an ostrich, but he mistook a hardwood floor for a patch of sand. I’ve seen a lot of weird drug stuff, but that was disturbing. I was thinking, “What the Hell kind of drug is this, anyway?” I bought her a rock ($25) and we smoke it.

She sucked on the pipe like a deranged friend who was suffocating and grasping the last desperate breaths out of the pipe. I mean she was sucking on that pipe for dear life. That was downright disturbing right there. I mean if she wanted to suck my dick like that, she’d be a hero, but this was a Goddamned drug pipe!

I mean I had seen people jonesing and fiending before but mostly on pot, which was nothing like this. I had been a cocaine sniffer sporadically for nine years, especially in the last few years when I was running around LA with artists high on coke and weed, but they never jonesed or fiended like that, and I’d seen some fiends. Like out and out addicts.

We finished the rock and it was definitely an excellent high. Got me out of stupid neurotic self for about 15 minutes and then it was over. I was in  the bathroom pissing in a toilet and I saw her watching me in the doorway with lit-up eyes.  I was thinking, “That’s weird,” but that was when I first realized that females actually like to watch guys take a piss. I suppose to cock-watch. I can’t think of any other reason that’s not seriously twisted.

After 15 nice minutes, the drug wore off and I felt like crap. And more than anything else, I really wanted another damn rock to make the bad feeling go away. Which of course is the whole problem here, right? I caught onto the drug’s scam, and decided to just say no.

She was badgering me for another rock, but I was getting suspicious of this game already. She was acting like, “One more rock and then we can fuck,” but I was thinking this game could go on like this all night, and I was later told that it often does just that. And you never get a thing in the end no matter how many rocks you buy the bitch. It’s a heist.

As you might suspect she was the typical Thieving Whore type with a background as a Real Whore (Real Whores often double as Thieving Whores when they are feeling lazy or just more evil than usual), and I caught onto the “Buy me one more 20,” scam and ditched her. I went out to my car and sat there. She was supposed to join me but she never showed up, so I sat there like an idiot for 45 minutes holding my dick in my hand, feeling stupid, and getting increasingly angry.

These other Black people who were at the party showed up and told me that she was up there talking shit about me. I was thinking, “Ok, screw this bitch. She’s not getting a ride home. She can walk if she wants! It’s only ten miles away in the dark LA night! I’m sure she can make it without any problems at all!”

One of the group was a Black woman about 35 years old who looked pretty good. I went out and talked to them. She grabbed me and put her arm around me. “You come with me, baby,” so I went off with her. At one point we were in someone’s car she was shoving her tongue in my ear whispering dirty stuff while this other Black woman with her acted all grossed out.

We went up to their place, and it was another crack party. I bought her one too. The rock went around fast as the speed of light with everyone  hitting it like it was their last breath on Earth. It was creepy, weird, and actually pretty damn scary. By this time I was wise to the drug, and turned it down while I watched these maniacs suck it down like oxygen.

I looked around at the people in  the room. The people in there looked like zombies from a Night of the Living Dead movie, especially one Black man in his  40’s with black holes where his eyes were supposed to be. He has his head back on the couch with a thousand yard stare, looking like someone had suctioned his brains out, which is pretty much what had happened, except a drug did not and not a vacuum tube.

I was sitting there thinking, “This shit is literally the worst drug on Earth.” And this was my very first acquaintance with the drug called crack. As you can see, I’m not only not an idiot but I’m also a quick study.

Well, this other Black chick was all over me telling me it was her birthday and how we were going to get a hotel room and all this dirty stuff she was going to do to me. Then it turned into, “Buy me one more 20, and I get the room.” I had already heard that song before, earlier than night as a matter of fact. I kept shaking my head no.

At some point I was being escorted out of the apartment. The last I saw was a look of utter contempt on this Thieving Whore’s face. I was out $50 and all I got were a couple of makeout sessions. Lessons don’t come cheap in life.

Well, my Mom called me later the next day all freaked out, “Bob! What did you do to that girl!?” I had no idea what in God’s name she was talking about. I was like, “What?!” The woman’s Mom had called my Mom because that bitch never came home that night. Why?

Because I was her ride and I abandoned her halfway through a date and left her ass at an apartment in the Wilshire District when she lived in South Central. So I took her out on a date and stranded her halfway through the date with no ride home. I told you I’m a charmer. I told my Mom what happened, and I guess she called the woman’s Mom back.

I was pretty angry at my Mom for even suspecting that I would rape and murder some woman and leave her in a ditch somewhere. Not that this one particular woman didn’t deserve just that of course, but I don’t have it in me to do that, and of all people, my Mom ought to know for God’s sake. I’ll save that for my next life when I come back as a Serial Killer. Hopefully I can break Bundy’s record. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

So this is an example of a Thieving Whore. Thieving Whores are the worst women on Earth by far. I think most of them are psychopaths. Whores are pretty much psychopathic women anyway, and 45% of prostitutes are actual diagnosed psychopaths. The personality of The Whore (Histrionic Personality Disorder) is often considered to be nothing less than the female version of male psychopathy itself.

Thieving Whores dangle the sex or implied sex in a dating context, ask for money for something or other in the context of the date, get the money,  buy the stuff, promise the sex some more, and then vanish out the door without fulfilling their end of the bargain.

You’re left holding the bag on one hand and your dick in the other. You are $20-80 poorer and you got little if any sex out of it, or at least not what you were promised – you may have gotten a tit feel or a makeout session, but you were promised real sex, which is why you forked the money in the first place. These are far worse than actual whores who generally at least are not out and out thieves and at least give you something for your money.

These types are ubiquitous and they tend to be deep into ghetto culture. This is pretty much the only type of female who comes out of that culture. Obviously the Whore and Thieving Whore types are present in all races of women, but the Whore types are vastly more common among Black women, and the Thieving Whore types are drastically more common among Black women, with Hispanic women bringing up the rear of the gutter.

Yes, I have recently met a young White woman like this, but she didn’t get any money. As far as Whore types go, obviously there are White women like this, but there are a lot more Hispanic women, at least around here, which I found shocking.

Playing The Whore and the Thieving Whore is a young woman’s game. Young, attractive women play this role simply because they can. Older women do not play this role not because they don’t want to – they’d love to if they could get away with it – but mostly because they can’t. Now I love older women, but who’s going to pay big money for some 47 year old woman’s used up ass? Basically no one.

Not that a few don’t try, but they don’t charge much either. I am talking about the “Transactional Sex” Whores, not the Actual Prostitute Whores, which are another matter altogether.

I am not fond of Transactional Sex Whores because they pretend to be dating you when really they are nothing more than glorified Whores. They are all over dating sites looking to “date men,” but they are really just part-time prostitutes who engage in actual whoring and more commonly transactional dating out of their apartments.

Of the three – Thieving Whores, Transactional Sex Whores and Actual Whores – I actually much prefer the latter, as at least they believe in truth in advertising and give you something for your money. They are generally pretty straight up and honest, too. It’s a rare whore who steals from you.

The former two are thieves by nature, especially the first type. Not only that but these are female criminals who have devoted their entire lives to stealing from us men. To say they are the enemies of all of us men is an understatement. The fact that not only do these wenches exist at all, but more appallingly are everywhere you look makes the lie of the feminist idiocy that says we live in a patriarchy. I assure you that no true patriarchy would tolerate this silly crap for one second.

Narcissism and Psychopathy Are on Continua Too

Very good book.

I just finished reading this book.  It it titled The Psychopath Inside: A Neuroscientist’s Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain

Author is a well known neuroscientist who discovered while looking at his brain scan that he is a psychopath himself! His scan looks exactly like that of a criminal psychopath. He is what is called a prosocial psychopath. These types or even a lot of the antisocial noncriminal psychopaths types are everywhere in politics, business, law enforcement, the military, law, and medicine. Psychopaths are attracted to all of those fields and all of these areas of work are swarming with those jerks. Most antisocial noncriminal psychopaths never spend one day of their lives in a jail or prison. They are what I like to call legal criminals, always skating  just on the edge of the law. Our government (see Mr. Trump) and many corporations are full of these “legal criminals.” I don’t think too much of them honestly.

I’ve met a few apparent antisocial criminal psychopaths in my life. The last one was a 23 year old woman! You really need to stay away from them.

Every psychopath who entered my life ended up harming me. For the most part, they all stole from me. You won’t be able to befriend these people without getting used and harmed because that is exactly what they do to most if not all other humans. Nobody emerges unscathed from befriending a psychopath. You’re not going to get away with it!

Psychopathy is also a continuum, just like…everything! The PCL scale ranges from 0-40. 0’s and 40’s are not common. For instance, I assure you that I am absolutely not a 0! But I am not a psychopath either, although my score is  for sure somewhat elevated above that of  goody-goods, cop-lovers, authoritarians, and choir boys.

On the other hand, I don’t really victimize innocent people, unless you count women, but that’s debatable as all’s fair in love and war! Sexual relationships are generally outside of morality. They can be immoral but they have to be pretty bad to get to that point. Players, pump and dumpers, easy women, etc. are generally not behaving immorally.

30+ is a psychopath and 20+ has serious psychopathic traits. Even in 0-20, if you score a 6 on the scale, and someone else scores a 12, they will appear more psychopathic to you. If we look at the scale that way and pick out everyone who clearly has elevated psychopathy, we are talking about 10-20% of the population or maybe more. Maybe a lot more.

Most everything else in the world that is a subjective quality  is a continuum too. Philosophically, qualities and objects are different things. Objects are objective and generally are not on a continuum. An object either exists or it doesn’t, 100 or zero. There’s no such thing as part of an object or an object that is only there a little bit but not completely there.

For instance, all humans are narcissistic and you can score that on a scale too. Narcissism and self-esteem mean the same thing! So low narcissism means low self-esteem. And high narcissism means high self-esteem, which is considered to be normal and is actually thought of as good mental health, although some folks might find people with big egos like this a bit much.

Here we are into people who are vain, conceited, self-centered, etc. but nevertheless normal. None of those three things are indicative of narcissism.

Sure narcissists have all of those in spades, but narcissism goes far beyond that. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is pathological narcissism (Trump), and if you have been around anyone like that, trust me, they are real bastards and get on your nerves real fast if you are reasonably sane.

They are very annoying people and actually they are rather mean, ugly, and hostile in many ways. NPD’s are not very nice people!They are also profoundly selfish. They really don’t care about you! It’s all about them. What’s all about them? Everything. Face it, you’re either a taker or a giver in life. Narcissists are takers, not givers. They don’t necessarily take from everyone, but they definitely don’t give to much of anyone either. All of their stuff, material and otherwise, is for them.

Alt Left: No, the Dayton Shooter Was Not an “Antifa Shooter”

Right. The Dayton mass shooter was not the first “antifa mass shooter,” as the drooling, unhinged nutcase Andy Ngo insists. I don’t think this idiot deserved to get beat up by antifa, but he’s definitely a full-blown nutball.

Yes, Connor Betts was associated with the far left in the US and with the antifa portion of it with all of the behaviors that go along with that. He hated cops and fascists. His random shooting of nine innocent people outside of a bar in Dayton, Ohio had zero political overtones. “Antifa” does not advocate taking guns and killing innocent workers and other citizens. It advocates nothing of the kind.

Obviously mass shooters will often have a political ideology, especially in our ideologically blighted times. After all, they are adult Americans and nowadays most adult Americans have some sort of politics. In a nonpolitical shooting, a shooter may have any politics whatsoever from Far Left to Far Right and everything in between, and none of it matters one whit. That is because the shooting had nothing to do with politics, so the shooter’s politics is absolutely irrelevant.

By the way, the sex life of the shooter is also irrelevant. The Gilroy and El Paso shooters didn’t seem to do well with women, but neither was complaining about it, and there’s no evidence that misogyny or incel ideology had anything to do with the shooting. Believe it or not, any man can go on a mass shooting, from virgin to playboy. As long as the shooting has nothing to do with his sex life, obviously his sex life is utterly irrelevant.

The Dayton shooter did quite well with women, but he also had some serious anger towards them. Yet the shooting, which fired into a mixed crowd and killed more men than women in addition to killing his beloved best sister, was clearly not motivated by misogyny.

Instead, Connor Betts appears to have been suffering from sort of psychotic disorder, possibly Schizoaffective Disorder or Bipolar 1 Disorder. We know that he had been hearing external voices from an early age.

Politics in this country is getting seriously retarded with each passing day, and I blame both the Right and the Left for that because nowadays the Right and Left are equally deranged ideologically.

They don’t have much in common with each other except for a lack of connection with the real world and a tendency to lie, make stuff up, hallucinate, and engage in wild hyperbole and conspiracy mongering. Neither the Right nor the Left is as bad as the demonizers on the other side make them out to be.