Alt Left: Psychopathy and the Left

Another really cool comment from a commenter on psychopathy, in this case from a Left perspective. I’m so glad some of my commenters have figured out I’m a Leftie. I am. I’m a really, really weird Leftie, but I’m basically a Leftie. There’s nothing in any form of US conservatism that appeals to me and the Democrats are far better than the Republicans, though my complaint is they are not left enough. On the other hand, I am rather socially conservative for a Leftie, but I have a feeling a lot of us are like that.

In Manuel’s previous post about his own country, Venezuela, where 70% of the citizens state openly that they are Chavistas (polls show that 70% of the population support the Chavista program), and hence Leftists, indicated nevertheless that this country is terribly patriarchal and most of the men and women for that matter are very socially conservative. I’d even venture so far as to call them backwards.

I’m thinking there are lot more “Conservative Left” types out there. I can see quite a few in Nicaragua. There seem to be a lot in Russia and the former USSR, Eastern Europe, Turkey, North Africa, the Basque Country, the Arab World, and especially in China. Conservative Left people are still on the Left. We will vote left most everywhere on Earth. We’re just not down with whatever the latest PC, SJW, woke lunacy of the week is, that’s all.

Manuel Rodriguez: Putting that aside, there is something else I wanted to talk about. Let’s talk about psychopathy from a leftist perspective! This is an angle that nobody seems to take.

I realized that just like patriarchy and capitalism go together, so are psychopathy and capitalism almost bedfellows. The values that capitalism promotes feed into psychopathy allow encourage it to resonate through society almost as an unseen force like gravity. The end products of individualism socially rewarded in capitalism, even though they maximizing one’s material wealth either morally or not and using other people to get it. Capitalism defends its interests from perceived threats with violence, often extreme violence, via endlessly creative methods.

One thing I always wondered about was how psychopathy might effect leftist and revolutionary processes. I thought of cases where a “dictator” type climbs up the social ladder and reaches the top. These people seem to be pretty brutal and in some cases, they have lived like kings via the labor of their countrymen. This same mechanism, these same types are easily able to infiltrate and advance in political parties to where they can climb the social hierarchy, often leading to these people becoming extremely corrupt.

Whenever psychopathy is brought up, there is always someone who points out who psychopathy can be beneficial to society in the case of controlled psychopaths in the police and military. This led me to wonder whether controlled psychopaths may have a role to play in revolutionary processes.

On the whole though, I think psychopaths, controlled and uncontrolled, do more harm than good.

Psychopaths and Promiscuity

Nice bit from a commenter on psychopaths and promiscuity. Also goes quite a bit into Game behavior. My comments are outside of the quote marks.

Manuel Rodriguez: Hello Robert, I see that you haven’t posted about geopolitics in a while! Like Afghanistan or Peru.

I know. I need to.

I wanted to talk about other theme: psychopaths.

Putting aside their main characteristics, one of the main issues that I see with psychopaths/sociopaths not so much that they tend to leave a lot of children around. One can see differences between a simple womanizer or machista and a sociopath/psychopath.

In my highly patriarchal country, young men who are with women who are strong-willed and/or have a close family tend to stay with them for a short while, bear a child, and leave.

I don’t think much of this sort of behavior. I hate to use the word but a lot of Whites would call that “niggerish.” Not so much that you are acting like a Black man but more that you are acting like a certain sort of Black man. Whites are not wild about this behavior but if it happens, they want the man to support the kid. I lived in a White working class community recently and we saw a lot of young White men engaged in the behavior above. However, my mother told me that most of these young men did end up supporting their children. As a man in White culture, you are supposed to support your kids. If you don’t, people really look down on you.

This is a big difference between Black and White culture. Black culture simply doesn’t seem to care whether men support their kids or not.

Men young or old who catch a succulent type of female prey (women that are weaker-willed and are the “people pleaser” personality type and also isolated family-wise) will proceed to destroy her self-esteem, make her emotionally dependent on him, and in general reconfigure her brain so her only required duties are to satisfy his needs while he goes off with other women.

This type of behavior is pretty reprehensible too but I’ve talked to so many women who have come out of abusive relationships with exactly this type of man. I actually think ~1/3 of women prefer bad or abusive men.

The interesting thing I observed about the “old type” is that he often lives off the woman, be it taking her wage or making her work as a slave if he is a merchant or small-business owner. The man takes control of all the money in the household while nobody else knows how he spends it. He  spends most of his time outside the house, again, without the family knowing what he is doing.

This is terrible too.

Often the previously-mentioned other “subaltern” family members will  observe this and decide it’s not ok, but the wife will engage in self-delusion. She will automatically think and say that he is doing these things for a good and beneficial reason for the family, and she will scold or gaslight whoever brings it up and disagrees.

Stockholmed.

Another element that separates the old psychopaths from the young is that the old type doesn’t “pump and dump” women like young psychopaths do but instead actually supports the families of his various lovers based on how much how much surplus value he can appropriate from wife and family.

I think this occurs for a few reasons. The main one is that old men are seen by women, especially younger ones, as ugly, so they have to Run the “Resource Game” or Money Game mating strategy and the young women they can get are often a bit on the older side. As you mentioned in your own anecdotes, old men are not as physically attractive as their younger selves and getting young girls with a silver tongue alone is not an option anymore as you age.

Yep, I need money to get a young woman nowadays. Without money I am pretty much SOL with every young woman out there. It’s been a brutal lesson.

This is the thing that ticks me off about women, the fact that the male traits they find very attractive are the physical and personality traits of antisocial, abusive, and disagreeable men.

Yep, women love bad boys and hate nice guys. Feminists lie and say this is because nice guys aren’t really all that nice, but this is a bad argument because women love overtly bad man who act much worse than even bad-behaved nice guys. This is just women lying because telling the truth about normal female behavior makes them look bad.

Here is the brutal truth: Women don’t like nice or passive men because they think they’re pussies. Wimps. Sissies. Possibly gay. Momma’s boys. On and on.

Sort of story of my life here. My reputation on the Net is a psychopath who is some sort of font of pure evil, crime, depravity, and perversion, but the truth is I’m actually a really nice guy. Including with women. If you met me, you might think I’m about the nicest guy you’ve ever met. I’m not irritable at all. Not only that but I seem completely harmless. Nothing bothers me. I don’t much care about what people do to the point where nothing much that anyone does bugs me.

And I just found out that I’m passive.

An ex told me that. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I’ve probably been passive most of my life. And I’m starting to think that women really hate passive men.

I’ve sort of gotten beyond it these days by cultivating an air of scariness or danger. Sadly, this actually benefited me a lot in relationships with women. Women have fallen harder, crazier, and wilder in love with me than ever before since I started being mean and vicious to them sometimes. I only do it if they are really out of bounds, and some women simply don’t have enough evil in them to get too nasty, so there’s no need to pull out my Psycho role for them.

If you want some advise about women, I would say that if you are having nice guy or passive guy issues, start fighting back against the women in your life. Don’t just sit there and take it. And really rip them a new one when they get seriously out of line. I just cuss them out. I don’t hit them.

She will fly into a wild rage, but I’ve found that she might fall deeply in love too.

I think women want the men they fall in love with to be capable of pretty mean or bad behavior at times.

But only at times. Or they want him to stand up to her crap. Hell, I don’t know what it is, but tearing them to pieces in brutal fashion when they get insulting and abusive seems to work wonders.

I’ve wondered why this is and one reason is because when you tear her to bits verbally, you are saying you could care less if she walks out the door right now.

Most men are pussy beggars and pussy-whipped idiots. They’re afraid to unleash on their women for fear that she’ll cut off the sex, so they just sit there and take the abuse. The more they sit there and take the abuse, the more the woman thinks he’s a great big pussy for not standing up to her. So she gets angrier and angrier and more and more contemptuous of her pathetic pussy-whipped idiot of a man.

I was like this for many years. I was afraid that if I ripped her up bad, she would take off, and there goes the sex. And even back in the day, sex was not that easy to come by. Once you get a woman who is giving you lots of regular sex, it seems to be something you want to keep around because it’s quite difficult to find a new woman who will give you as much sex as this one is. Hence most men are operating from a position of Scarcity or Pussy Poverty. They’re desperate.

They think, “I can’t let her leave because she’s the only woman I can get.” That’s probably not true but that’s how the pathetic thinking goes. The woman looks at her man and thinks, “This guy is so pathetic that if I leave him, no way can he get another woman. He’s only with me because nobody else will have him.” This seems pathetic and I think it makes women furious and contemptuous.

Instead, when you blast her from here to Kingdom Come, you are saying that you don’t give a flying fuck if she walks out the door, never to be seen again. Because you don’t care if you get laid or not. Because of course you can replace this toxic bitch with a better-behaved and hopefully newer model anytime you want.

That is operating from position of Abundance or Pussy Wealth. It is good to cultivate an attitude of Abundance even if you are not actually in that position. Just lie to the world and tell the whole world that you have an Abundance mentality and can get a new woman just like that. Women are intrigued by men with an Abundance mentality because they are not pathetic, desperate pussy beggars like most men. Women find a man who has the attitude, “Woman, I could care less whether you have sex with me or not. There’s plenty more where you came from” absolutely fascinating. And in my opinion, it turns them on and even makes them fall in love with you.

I get that there are several reasons about this.

In prehistoric times, genes for good health and strength in men were extremely important. Men also needed “manlier” personality traits in order to fight off, hunt, and kill dangerous animals and to fight men from other tribes.

And because of the way our brains process emotions, we are easily misled by personality traits that we think signal one thing while in fact they signal something completely different. The irresponsible behavior of psychopaths might instead be perceived as high confidence.

“Female Game” reduces down to only two points:

1. Marry or get into a relationship with a man who is not a loser, one whose positive traits match the environmental needs of her environment.

2. Try to get a partner who is not abusive.

Sadly, while the first point makes sense biologically and is socially emphasized, the second point is never brought up despite all the issues women are facing today. Neither society nor mothers teach girls the traits they should look out for in order to avoid abusive and possibly life-threatening partners. I think that even given girls’ immaturity, this would be hugely useful to them as a life lesson. Older women via life experience have generally learned that bad boys are not good for them, especially in the long run.

Promiscuity is so common among psychopaths that it’s actually one of the diagnostic criteria. I’ve tried to give a few explanations for it even though I’m not a psychopath myself, and only a psychopath can truly under the thought processes of such a persons.

Possible reasons for the promiscuity of psychopaths:

1. It is an unintended effect of some features of the psychopaths such as low sensitivity to threats and the affective-interpersonal features that psychopaths have. Psychopaths might not take into account the the risks, consequences, and guilt syndromes of PIV sex such as pregnancies or how whether the woman will feel hurt or not. Instead they choose pleasure of risk and guilt.

2. It an intended effect, either consciously or unconsciously. In recent years, we have seen a number of psychopaths openly declare that they intend to have a lot of children while not investing in or supporting them. There are also many historical accounts of powerful and murderous men, including kings, who sired a lot of children, Genghis Kan being the most famous.

Since promiscuity is a trait and psychopaths have an easy ability to attract women thanks to their social skills, the condition might causing them to try to breed as prolifically as possible.

This makes sense when you think of how not only is psychopathy itself common in highly unfavorable conditions, but such environments cause even non-psychopathic men to have higher rates of promiscuity than men raised in better environments.

In this case, humans wouldn’t be too different from organisms who evolved in unfavorable environments via a strategy of high reproduction. This can be seen in plants that spread a lot of seeds, mushrooms that spread many spores, and prey species such as rabbits that suffer high mortality having frequent and large litters.

Teenage Girl Sex Panic: I Was Banned from Reddit

I got banned from Reddit a while back. I still go there all the time and I am always greeted by this horrible message that my account is permanently banned. The site keeps throwing it in my face while I surf around the site. It’s very depressing to see that message over and over. It makes you feel hopeless. I kept sneaking back on and they kept banning me again. Sucks that these bans are for a lifetime. I hardly think what I did was worth a lifetime ban. I posted something. My opinion on a particular issue. You know, like free speech. And it wasn’t even particularly outrageous.

People were posting the usual insane bullshit about adult men and teenage girls, and someone discussed a man and a 13 year old girl. I made a post that said, “A man having sex with a 13 year old girl is normal.” I was banned for promoting pedophilia!

You can’t “promote pedophilia.” You can’t be for it or against it. It’s a biological disorder that some folks just end up with. Can you promote schizophrenia? Blue eyes? Albinism? Manic-depressive illness? Borderline Personality Disorder? Foot fetishism? Depression?

How on Earth can you promote or oppose any of those things, and what difference would it make if you did? None of those are really acquired behaviors. You can’t just decide you want to acquire any of those things. You either get wired up that way or you don’t, pretty much. Most are acquired in childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood, and tend to have a chronic course. People acquire mental disorders. You cannot promote or oppose any mental disorder. It’s ridiculous. These are simply maladaptive ways of thinking that some people get into. They’re not something where you wake up one day and decide you want to be this way.

And what would happen if you did promote any of the things above? Would you increase the rate of that thing? Of course not. What if you opposed it? Would you stop people from acquiring those conditions? Of course not. Those conditions are not really willed actions as in I can decide to go to the store right now.

Get my pack, comb my hair, get my keys and phone, open the door, shut it and lock it, walk out of the complex to the sidewalk, and walk 200 yards to the store, then walk in, buy something, get change, turn around, and walk home with my item. Those are all willed actions. I can decide to either do them or not. You can support or oppose any willed actions. Perhaps you wish people would not make decisions to do certain things. Perhaps you think it’s just fine if people decide to do this or that.

Anyway, what did I mean? Well, the American Psychiatric Association has decided that Hebephilia, usually an attraction or preference for pubescents aged ~12-14 is not a mental disorder. There was a big fight about it in the discussions of the latest DSM-5. The people saying it was not a disorder won. Furthermore, they went beyond that to say that not only was it not a disorder, it was also completely normal!

Turns out what they meant was that is it is completely normal for men to be attracted to 12-14 year old girls. In fact, 16% of all men have a primary attraction for girls that age; that is, they are more attracted to 12-14 girls than they are to mature females. It’s hard to say that 16% of all men are sick with some terrible mental disorder.

81% of men are primarily attracted to mature females, 15+. These men are called teleophiles. However, teleophilic men are also attracted to 11-14 year old girls, albeit on a slightly lower level than they are to matures. The usual estimate is that 100% of men are attracted to 12-15 year old girls and 95% of men are attracted to girls 2-12! However, in the latter case, almost all of those men are attracted to little girls at substantially lower level than they are to mature females. 3% of men are pedophiles; that is, they have are more attracted to girls under 11 than they are to mature females. That’s a lot of men.

So it is absolutely normal for a man to be attracted to 13 year old girls. There’s nothing wrong with that. Basically, all men have this attraction to some degree.

Hence, does it follow that if he acts on the attraction, is that normal too? I said it was on Reddit, but I am not sure. It doesn’t strike me as intrinsically disordered behavior like child molestation. Men have been having sex with girls that age for almost all of human evolution. They still do in primitive societies, where men generally start having sex with girls after menarche, which is typically age 13.

In the DSM debate, they said that men who acted on their hebephilic urges were criminals in many Western countries. I would agree with that. If you’re asking me if I am advocating men to have sex with 13 year old girls in places where it is illegal, I am not. The reason is because it’s illegal and you might get caught. If you get caught they will throw the book at you and you may go to prison for a long time, where you might not be real welcomed by the other inmates. If you ever get out you go on the Sex Offender list for life.

So I absolutely am not saying men should do these things. I completely oppose adult men having sex with 13 year old girls in our society. In addition, it ought to be illegal for grown men to have sex with 13 year old girls. I would give a break to, say, an 18 year old man, but once you start  getting a bit above that, you have to seriously outlaw it. And if men are caught having sex with 13 year old girls, I think they should be incarcerated. I don’t wish to live in a society where it’s legal for grown men to have sex with 13 year old girls. That creeps me out.

I’m just saying it’s not psychologically disordered to do so. Is it normal? Well, maybe, but perhaps a lot of bad behavior is normal. Almost all crime is considered “normal” in that it is not mentally disordered behavior. Criminals don’t do it because they’re crazy. Committing crimes doesn’t make you nuts.

Instead, while crime is “normal,” it is also wrong in most cases. And I think you can make a case that a lot of crime is intrinsically wrong. That is, when you seriously harm other persons or their property or cause them losses, that seems to be immoral in a global sense of universal morality. Wife beating is probably intrinsically wrong too. But it’s not nuts. Sadly, it’s very normal to beat your wife.

But is a man having sex with a 13 year old girl intrinsically wrong? You can’t really make a case for that. If the girl seduces the man and the sex is 100% consensual, it’s hard to see how it is wrong. If there’s any coercion involved and the man is seducing a reluctant girl, that strikes me as wrong.

A good rule is that non-coercive sex with is generally morally right (except with adults and little children), and coercive sex is morally wrong. And in certain societies, men having sex with girls that age is morally proper. It’s seen as immoral and abnormal in our society. Our society and any society has a right to decide what is right and what is wrong within reason. Societies get to make their own rules about morality.

Men having sex with young teenage girls is a behavior that is intrinsically neither right nor wrong. This is one of those behaviors where society decides whether and how right or wrong it is. Quite a few societies think it’s just fine. Our society thinks it is wrong, bad, immoral, evil, disgusting, creepy, on and on.

That’s the value that our society has placed on that act. It’s perfectly acceptable for a society to decide that men having sex with 13 year old girls is dead wrong, a seriously immoral act. So societies have a right to outlaw this behavior and even throw the book at people who violate these laws. So it’s acceptable for a society to punish men who have sex with 13 year old girls with imprisonment.

These things are more matters of right and wrong, good and bad, good and evil than matters of crazy or sane or normal or abnormal. These are not things that psychiatry deals with. Psychiatry only cares if you are nuts or not. We don’t care if something is right or wrong, and we don’t have a good idea what is anyway. Issues of right and wrong and good and bad behavior are matters for Moral Philosophers, Societal Morality, and the Law to figure out. They are moral and legal matters, not psychiatric ones.

I still think it was low and hysterical to ban me on this petty offense. Obviously, Redditors are in the throes of this idiot sex panic. Society has gone completely hysterical about this stupid issue. Shame on every one of you for falling for this asinine moral panic.

True Crime: Joseph Edward Duncan III

Originally posted as a repost from the old site in 2008. I recently looked over this old piece and I was surprised at how good it was. I think it’s time for a re-run. Feel free to comment. Warning: long, runs to 28 pages.

On August 27, 2008, Joseph Edward Duncan III was sentenced to death by a federal court in Idaho after being charged with ten federal charges for the homicide of Dylan Groene, age 9, in Montana in 2005. He served 13 years on death row, but he died on March 28, 2001 of glioblastoma, a brain tumor, before he could be executed.

I don’t know any of the principals in this case, but Thrillseekerman knows Steve Groene and Chris Groene, Doperman knows Chris Groene and not Steve, and Sexmaniacman knows Steve Groene but not Chris. T-man went to elementary school with Steve Groene and his brother, Chris Groene. Steve Groene is the father of Shasta Groene, Dylan Groene and Slade Groene. I called Thrillseekerman, Doperman, and Sexmaniacman to get their recollections of these two guys, who I never really knew. Their recollections are at the end of the article.

Joseph E. Duncan III broke into the victims’ house on May 15, 2005, tied everyone up, and then bludgeoned Slade, 13, his mother Brenda, 39 and his stepfather, Mark McKenzie, 37 to death with a claw hammer. He took Dylan and Shasta so he could torture and molest them.

Police who came upon the scene were stunned by the sight. There was blood and gore everywhere, and the faces were nearly unrecognizable. One officer who came upon the scene was so shocked by the sight that he quit police work for months afterward. An APB went out for Shasta and Dylan.

Duncan took them in a stolen 2000 Red Cherokee jeep with Missouri license plates to a very remote campsite in the Lolo National Forest in Montana and kept them there for a few weeks, having sex with both of them and torturing Dylan. He made a video of the crimes, and the video was shown to jurors and those in the courtroom. He raped Shasta and forced Shasta and Dylan to perform sex acts on each other.

May 2005: Murder of Dylan Groene in the Lolo National Forest, Montana

“The devil is here, boy, the devil himself. The demon couldn’t do what the devil sent him to do so the devil came himself,” Duncan yells in one of the videos. “The devil likes to watch children suffer and cry.”

Duncan cracks sick jokes through the videos.

In one video, Duncan jokes, “They kidnapped me – they won’t let me leave.”

In another video, he cracks, “I shouldn’t be taking pictures of you pulling up your pants like that, young man – people might think I’m a pervert.”

In another video, Duncan asks the kids about their wishes. Dylan says he just wants to go home.

One video showed Duncan raping and torturing Dylan in various ways. At one point, he took Dylan into an old shack, where he forced Dylan to perform a sex on him and whipped him with a belt. Then he told Dylan to stand on a bench, hung a wire around his neck, and masturbated as he watched Dylan nearly die from hanging. “Then Jet took him down and said, ‘Wake up, wake up, wake up,'” Shasta Groene said in a police interview.

She said Dylan screamed when he woke up because he thought he had been in heaven. Duncan then offered the half-dead Dylan an opportunity to watch his “death” by hanging on tape. A little while later, he forced Shasta to drag the half-dead Dylan through the campfire with a rope around his neck, burning him horribly. Then Duncan “accidentally” shot Dylan in the stomach with a shotgun.

Dylan was alive and possibly could have lived for a few hours, though his guts were hanging out. Duncan decided that there was no way to save him, so he shot him in the head. It was later determined that he probably did not shoot Dylan “accidentally” after all. After Dylan was dead, Duncan chopped his body into little pieces and filmed himself forcing Shasta to throw the body parts on the fire. Then he forced Shasta to pick the body parts out of the fire and filmed that too.

Whew. Wow. Whoa.

This must set some sort of a record for evil, but I’m not sure. The FBI did say that this was the first time that they had ever heard of anyone murdering adults just to get at kids, so it does set a depravity record in that sense. Details of whatever he did to Shasta have not been made available yet, but she was definitely raped. Normally, in this sort of thing, the name of the living kid, Shasta, would be kept secret, but her name was already out there as an APB Amber Alert, so the cat was out of the bag.

I guess you are wondering why no one heard all this mess up in the mountains. The makeshift campsite is at the end of a very remote logging road. It’s a one-hour drive down a terrible road to get to the remote site at the bottom of a cliff. It seems like hardly anyone ever goes there.

There are a lot of remote places out in the Western forests where you can stay for weeks at a time and not see another human. One article said the video was shot at a cabin, but I think it was just a campsite. They also went to various other campsites and drove long distances while Duncan bragged to Dylan and Shasta about killing the kids’ Mom, brother, and stepdad.

July 2, 2005: Arrested in Coeur D’Alene, Idaho with Shasta Groene

Later, on July 2, 2005, Duncan went back to a Denny’s restaurant with Shasta in Coeur D’Alene, Idaho, where she was immediately spotted by a resident who went in and told the manager who then wisely called 9-11. It was 1:30 AM and the cops pulled in with their lights off. Duncan saw the cops and took Shasta into the bathroom with him. He came out later and the police quickly surrounded the table and asked him to come outside. Shasta was taken back to her father her Mom and stepfather were dead.

Steve was briefly considered as a suspect but then they cleared him. They told him that he failed a polygraph, but lots of innocents do. They also suspected Steve’s eldest son, 18. They gave him a polygraph also and told him he failed too. Good thing neither one gave a fake confession in the midst of those interrogations.

The son was also into drugs – I bet meth – had a significant criminal record, and was most recently in jail for burglary. He said that that imprisonment was going to make him go straight.

Brenda Groene and Mark McKenzie were also drug users, but they were primarily recreational users. Brenda was a good mother. Initially, drugs were thought to be involved in the murders. Meth and pot were found in the systems of both Brenda and Mark. The couple ran with biker types who are in abundance in this area. Brenda had a criminal record for possession of drug paraphernalia and had served time for this offense.

Robert Roy Lutner was an original suspect in the case since he had a criminal record for relatively minor offenses and owed Mark and Brenda $2,000. They thought he killed them over the financial dispute. Further, he had visited them on the evening of Sunday the 15th, when the murders occurred. He turned himself in immediately, passed a polygraph, and was let go.

After he took the kids, Duncan was spotted in a sporting goods store with them in Bonners Ferry, Idaho, asking for directions to Libby, Montana. An APB went out but they were nowhere to be found.

Soon before he was caught, a video camera caught Duncan and Shasta entering what looks like a 7-11 about 40 miles outside of Coeur D’Alene. The girl looks mad and has her arms folded angrily across her chest. They buy something, get back in a red jeep, and leave. This footage was not discovered until later. Soon afterward, they were caught at the Denny’s in Coeur D’Alene.

Police discovered that the man was Joseph Edward Duncan III, a 43 year old fugitive sex offender from Fargo, North Dakota. He had recently been charged with molesting a 7 year old boy he knew who lived near him. He was born, one of five in a military family, in Fort Bragg, Virginia, in 1963. His parents soon moved to Tacoma, Washington, where he grew up. He was described as lonely and displaced in high school, especially after his parents’ divorce in 1979. He soon dropped out of high school. He engaged in sex at age 8 with two of his sisters. They apparently initiated it. What this had to do with his later offenses, I have no idea.

1975: Age 12, Arrested in Tacoma, Washington for Rape of a 5 Year Old Boy

He committed his first serious offense at age 12, when he raped a 5 year old boy, but he was not caught. In this way, he resembles Ted Bundy, who probably committed his first homicide of an eight-year-old girl who delivered the papers in his neighborhood at age 14. Bundy was never charged with this offense.

1978: age 15, Arrested in Tacoma, Washington for Rape of a 9 Year Old Boy

By age 15, he was charged with raping a 9 year old boy and sent to juvey. There he admitted that he had bound and raped six boys already.

1979: Age 16, Had Already Raped 13 Young Boys in Tacoma, Washington

He later said had already raped 13 younger boys by the time he was 16.

1980: Age 17 Arrested in Tacoma, Washington for Auto Theft

The following year, he was arrested for stealing a car.

1980: Age 17, Sentenced in Tacoma, Washington to 20 Years in Prison for Rape of a 14 Year Old Boy at Gunpoint

At age 17, he was arrested, charged and sentenced to 20 years in prison (apparently as an adult) for raping a 14 year old boy at gunpoint. The tortures that he put the boy through were similar to those seen on the Dylan Groene tape.

At the time, he was diagnosed as a psychopath, or antisocial personality disorder under the current rubric. In my opinion, knowing little about his upbringing, he is a pure psychopath. This condition is largely genetic. They are just born bad from seemingly Day One. This condition is impossible to treat, though some of them burn out and often descend in alcoholism and depression in their 40’s. Duncan is clearly not one of those.

He was paroled 14 years later at age 33 and sent to a halfway house in Seattle. A man named David Woelfert had testified at the parole board that Duncan was no threat whatsoever. He had loaned Duncan $3,000 and had found a place for him at the halfway house. Woelfert was also homosexual, and for a while, Duncan and Woelfert had a gay relationship. It looks like Woelfert was conned too. In 1996, Duncan was released from the halfway house.

1996: Sentenced in Seattle, Washington to One Month for Parole Violation

Almost immediately after his release from the halfway house, he violated parole by using marijuana and possessing a firearm. He was given 30 days and released.

July 6, 1996: Disappearance and Subsequent Murders of Carmen Cubias, 9, and Sammiejo White, 11, in Seattle, Washington

Apparently soon afterwards, 9-year-old Carmen Cubias and her 11-year-old half-sister, Sammiejo White, went missing from the motel where they were staying with their homeless family. A while before, Duncan was living only three blocks away from the motel where they vanished. These girls later turned up dead, and they were definitely killed by Duncan.

The girls were last seen by their 16-year-old brother at 8:30 pm on July 6, 1996 after they left the Crest Motel in Seattle, where they were staying with older and younger siblings and their mother. The girls were used to be out at all hours and knew their way around the neighborhood very well.
They said they were going to the Taco Time where they were going to bum some spare change so they could eat and get some money for a pack of cigarettes for their brother. Apparently they never made it.

It turns out that Duncan has confessed to Shasta Groene that he killed two little girls in Seattle. He made the same confession to investigators, but he said he did not know their names. At the time of their disappearance, Duncan was living and working in Bothell, Washington, where the girls’ bones were found almost two years later in February, 1998, by a transient staying in an abandoned barn. They had both been murdered violently, but the details could not be ascertained. But both of their skulls had been crushed.

After Duncan was arrested for the Idaho killings, a woman came forward and said that she had worked at the Quality Food Mart in Bothell that summer. That summer she repeatedly saw a man she now says was Duncan come into the store to buy stuff accompanied by a frightened little girl, who she now identifies as Carmen Cubias. Once again, we see that Duncan kept his victim alive for a long time, molesting and possibly torturing them before killing them.

When talking to investigators, Duncan revealed enough details of the crimes, without confessing, to convince the cops that he killed the two girls. After he confessed, his lawyer convinced him to clam up about any other crimes he may have committed.

March 26, 1997: Disappearance and Murder of Deborah Palmer, 7, in Oak Harbor, Washington

On March 26, 1997, Deborah Palmer, age 7, disappeared on her way to school in Oak Harbor, Washington, about 50 miles away from Seattle. Palmer disappeared while walking the two blocks from her Kettle Street apartment home to school.

Duncan had an appointment in Seattle to take a polygraph test at an unknown time. Oak Harbor would have been a 1 1/2 hour drive away. Palmer may have been killed in Deception Pass State Park, near where her body washed up.

The week before, around March 19, Duncan had tested positive for marijuana, which would have violated his parole. Eleven days later, he quit his Bothell job, stole his girlfriend’s car, and fled his Seattle home for California to visit his father in Pahrump, Nevada. That was the very same day that Deborah Palmer’s body washed up on a Pacific Ocean beach seven miles away from Oak Harbor, and the story was all over the news.

She had been raped and strangled. The previous day, Deborah’s backpack and jacket were found at a gravel pit. There is no direct evidence linking Duncan to this homicide. There are also suspicions that a family member was involved.

April 1997: Disappearance and Murder of Anthony Martinez, 10, in Beaumont, California

After he fled to California, he killed again. This time, he took off from his Dad’s house in Vista and went to Beaumont, California, where he approached 10 year old Anthony Martinez and his brother who were playing in alley behind their home. He asked them to help find a lost cat, and they declined. Duncan then put a knife to Anthony’s throat and shoved him into a white car.

On April 19, Anthony’s nude body was found in a shallow grave 110 miles away in the desert near Indio, California. He had been raped and beaten to death and his skull had been crushed.

After his arrest in the Idaho killings, Duncan confessed to interrogators that he had killed a little boy in California. He also quite closely resembled the composite drawing of the suspect in the Martinez case. Cops then looked into the Martinez case and amazingly found a match for a thumbprint on the duct tape used to bind Anthony’s body and Duncan’s prints.

August 27, 1997: Sentenced to Three Years in Prison for Parole Violation in Kansas City, Missouri

In May, Duncan was back in Northern California. On June 2, he met Dr. Richard Wacksman (see below) at a coffeehouse in San Francisco. At this point, he seemed to have been living on the streets. Four months later, on August 27, 1997, Duncan was arrested by the FBI at his sister’s house in Kansas City, Missouri for a parole violation and sent to prison for three years.

At the hearing for the parole violation, a Fargo, North Dakota doctor, Dr. Richard Wacksman, testified that Duncan was not dangerous anymore and that upon his release, he could stay at Wacksman’s home in Fargo. The parole board disagreed and sent him away. Upon his release on July 21, 2000, he moved to Fargo, North Dakota, but I believe it was not long before he started killing again.

After his release, in 2000, he visited Wacksman at his home in Fargo. The neighbors found out about it and confronted Wacksman. Duncan did not return to Wacksman’s home, and Wacksman soon moved to Florida. Duncan then visited Wacksman numerous times at his Florida home, where Duncan liked to scuba dive.

I do not think this Wacksman fellow is a bad guy. Psychopaths are often very charming and have the ability to convince all sorts of decent people that they are really ok, including Dr. Wacksman. However, it should be noted that Wacksman, while married and with family, was bisexual. It seems certain that Wacksman and Duncan had a homosexual relationship.

After he moved to Fargo, Duncan began attending North Dakota State University there, working on a BA in Computer Science. He would have graduated in May 2005, but he decided to go on a homicide spree instead. At the university, he worked in software development for both the college and a local business called iCat.

He also worked as a teaching assistant at Edmonds Community College where he taught introductory programming courses. He frequented at least one Korean Personals site where he said he was looking for “something more than just sex.” At the time, he was also taking karate lessons at the university (photo from his karate class in Spring 2003). While Duncan was living in Fargo from 2000-2005, I believe that he did not stop killing.

February 12, 2001: Disappearance and Probable Murder of Steven Earl Kraft, Jr., 12, in Benton Township, Michigan

On February 12, 2001, Steven Earl Kraft, Jr., age 12, disappeared while walking his dogs between 8-9 PM about 1/2 block from his home. The dogs were found later, but Steven is still missing. Duncan may have been involved in this kidnapping and probable homicide.

On April 21, 2001, Duncan set up his Jazzi-Jet gay website on the Pridesites gay website. Although the links have been deleted, on one page he was shown in a black dress and makeup talking about how much he liked to get fucked in the ass. Oh, well.

Duncan talked about how much gay sex he had in Walla Walla Prison, getting screwed by 50 different guys in there, getting gangbanged once by seven guys, being the “queen of the prison,” and being owned by a great big Black inmate named “Al”, all while posing in suggestive gay poses. On another deleted photo, Jazzi-Jet was once again done up like a woman. In one picture, he was masturbating, but you couldn’t see that very well. He touched up one of the pics to make it look like he has breasts.

On February 12, 2002, Duncan created this online resume. He was obviously highly intelligent and it looks like he was also a good computer programmer (I never could figure out Java programming myself). In March 2002, he created this page of a fake Time Magazine and Duncan praising Arnold Schwarzenegger.

July 12, 2002: Disappearance and Murder of Russell Turcotte, 19, in Grand Forks, North Dakota

Russell Turcotte, age 19, a Turtle Mountain Chippewa, was last seen at a truck stop in Grand Forks, North Dakota, on July 12, 2002, after spending the night with friends in Fargo, North Dakota. He was returning to his home in Wolf Point, Montana from a Rainbow Gathering in Michigan.

Surveillance cameras have now revealed that Duncan was at that truck stop hours after Turcotte was there. Turcotte was hitchhiking with a backpack home on a desolate stretch of Highway 2 west of Grand Forks at around 2 AM. I believe he was picked up by Duncan and taken to a side road near Grand Forks Air Force Base. He was probably raped there. He was then taken to Devils Lake, 90 miles west of Grand Forks, where his partially nude body was dumped and covered with brush. His possessions vanished, probably tossed into one of the area’s many rivers and lakes. His skull had been crushed.

The previous day, his mother had wired him some money. He was living with a girlfriend and running low on cash. Months later, in November 2002, his skeleton was discovered by a rancher in a clump of trees.

Objections have been made to the notion that Duncan committed this crime. First is that he would have had to drive 85 miles north from Fargo to Grand Forks and then another 90 miles west to dump the body.
However, I believe that since 1997, Duncan had started killing quite a ways away from where he lived. His first two killings seem to have pretty close to where he lived. The Seattle girls were abducted while Duncan was living in Bothell, 20 miles away.

Deborah Palmer (assuming he killed her) was killed in Oak Harbor, 30 miles from his home in Bothell, and her body was found nearby. He’s clearly capable of driving 80 miles away from his home to kill someone. Similarly, Beaumont was about 85 miles away from his father’s house in Vista where Duncan was staying.

Anyway, the surveillance camera had Duncan at the truck stop within hours of when Turcotte was there, so the distance question seems to be ruled out. Furthermore, July 12 was a Friday, so Turcotte was last seen on a Friday night. I believe that Duncan picked him up hitchhiking about 2 AM on the morning of Saturday, July 13 and killed him soon afterward. At some point he drove 90 miles east to dump the body.

Duncan was a college student at this time and was probably working too. It’s certainly possible that he had the whole weekend off. He had lots of free time and was always traveling to the Lakes Country in Minnesota to go scuba diving. Also, Turcotte’s skull had been crushed in the same manner that Anthony Martinez, Sammiejo White, Carmen Cubias, Slade Groene and Mark McKenzie had been dispatched.

Another question about the Turcotte killing is that Turcotte seems old for Duncan’s tastes. However, it has been pointed out that the 19 year old looked very young for his age. A photo of him taken before his death seemed to belie that, but another picture taken by his girlfriend shortly before he died showed him very thin, unhealthy, and quite young-looking.

Hunter Bear, an American Indian retired university professor and leftwing activist, had a webpage up about Turcotte. Here is a description of who he thought the killer is, written in 2003 before anyone knew about Duncan:

I continue to feel that Russ’ killer is an Anglo, maybe in his late 30s or early 40s, a so-termed “professional” person with a quite good, reassuring kind of car and out-of-state license plates. It’s obvious that he is a criminal psychopath.

Not bad, huh? At the time he wrote that, Duncan was 40 years old (!), White, and though not a professional, he could certainly come off as one. It seems like he liked to drive nice cars too. About the out of state plates, I have no idea. Hunter Bear said that the cops did not try very hard to find the Turcotte’s killer, at one point saying that they had no interest in a routine store surveillance camera tape that filmed Turcotte at the last place he was seen.

Hence, the tape was destroyed. Hunter Bear made a good case that the population and the police in North Dakota and Idaho were very racist towards American Indians. We don’t see much of it out here in California, but it seems to be more of a big deal back there. Some people are still looking at Seattle, Tacoma, or Portland as the connection between the killer and Turcotte, but I am pretty certain that this is a Duncan crime.

This is a Web Archive cache of the original Jet Gazette, Jet’s own online magazine that he made all about…himself! This page is dated July 29, 2002, and that would have been about 17 days after Turcotte was killed.

March 26, 2003: Disappearance and Murder of Dalton Mesarchik, 7, in Streator, Illinois

On March 26, 2003, Dalton Mesarchik, 7, of Streator, Illinois vanished from the front yard of his home. His body was found the next day in creek. His skull had been crushed with a hammer. That’s Duncan’s style. In June 2003, Duncan began going on trips to Minnesota and Michigan to scuba dive. He went on dives all summer.

On October 3, 2003, Duncan was visited by three police officers who accuse him of harassing women downtown. The women knew who he is from the Sex Offender database, and they had photos of him. He was accused of repeatedly asking them out and not going away when they told him to. That doesn’t sound like much of a crime to me. The cops said they knew who he was and they watched him all the time. Guess they did not watch him enough. He wrote about this incident later on his blog, The Fifth Nail.

Here is the final edition of the Jet Gazette, with photos of his scuba diving trips and videos that he made.

February 15, 2004: Disappearance and Probable Murder of Justin Phillip Edwards, 13, in Casper, Wyoming

Between late February 14 and early February 15, 2004, Justin Phillip Edwards, 13, disappeared. He was living at R. L Mills Home, a state-run facility, located at 116 East “H” Street in Casper, Wyoming since the summer of 2003. He was 5′ tall and weighed only 100 pounds and was retarded. He had the mind of a 6 year old. In his blog entry of February 16, Duncan said he went skiing for the first time that weekend, alone. Some think he may have been involved in Edwards’ disappearance.

July 3, 2004 Molestation of a Boy, 7 and Attempted Molestation of Another in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota

On July 3, 2004, Duncan molested a 7 yr old boy and tried to molest another boy at a school playground. He had a video camera with him. He was not caught until later.

March 4, 2005 Charged in Minnesota for the Molestation Incidents

In March 4, 2005, Duncan was charged with molesting a 7 year old boy and attempting to molest the boy’s young friend in Detroit Lakes, Becker County, Minnesota. On April 5, a judge set his bail at $15,000. This was the July 2004 incident above.

The same day, a Fargo businessman, Joe Crary, wrote a check for that amount to the court and bailed out Duncan. Crary said he befriended Duncan when they both rode their bikes on bike trails in Fargo. Somehow, Duncan gave off the impression of being polite, soft-spoken, and seemed sincere about wanting to turn his life around. Duncan also seemed sincere that he was innocent of the Minnesota charges.

I will never understand how psychopaths fool people like this, but they do it all the time. The ability to con and lie with a straight face in these people is amazing. Crary is now maligned, but I feel he was just another good person that this psychopath conned. It should be noted, however, that Crary is apparently a homosexual who had a sexual relationship with Duncan beginning in early January 2004.

After being bailed out, Duncan made plans for his crime spree. He purchased night vision goggles and a video camcorder at a Walmart. He also purchased a shotgun, shells, and a claw hammer. On April 15, 2005, he rented a 2005 red Jeep Cherokee in St. Paul, Minnesota.

After the rental agreement was up, he never turned it back in, and on May 4, auto theft charges were filed against him. On the same day, the key tag to the stolen car was found in Bighorn Canyon National Recreation Area in Wyoming, so Duncan must have been here at some point in his travels.
Between those two dates, Duncan traveled all the way to the far southwest portion of Missouri, where it meets Oklahoma, Kansas and Arkansas. There, on April 27, he stole license plates off a vehicle and placed them on his vehicle.

Then he continued his travels. No one knows where he went during this period, but I believe that he was in Spokane using GPS to stalk young children at a preschool, Kindermusik, which has kids from toddlers up to age 7. While in flight, a warrant was issued for his arrest in Fargo for failure to appear in a court date stemming from the Minnesota case.
He stopped in the Wolf Lodge area eight miles east of Coeur d’Alene. This post from Duncan’s horrifying blog, The Fifth Nail, was somehow posted from Wolf Lodge just four days before he committed the Idaho crimes.

May 13, 2005 Murders of Brenda Groene, Slade Groene, and Mark McKenzie in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho

On May 12 or 13, he ended up on Frontage Road at the home where the crimes occurred. He spent the next two or three days scoping out the house, and on Sunday night, he entered the home with gloves, night vision goggles, a claw hammer, and a shotgun.

He pointed the gun and Brenda, Mark, and Slade and tied them up or forced them to tie each other up. Brenda Groene called Shasta down to the living room from where she had been sleeping. Dylan also came downstairs. Duncan quickly hustled Shasta and Dylan outside and into his van. Then he went back in to kill the others. With blows of the claw hammer, he dispatched them.

Shasta heard Mark scream, then she saw Slade try to run out of the house, wounded. He was hauled back in and dispatched. The kids in the van did not witness the killings, but Duncan later told them how he had killed her family. He told her that the name of the hammer was a Fatmax and she learned to call him “Jet” for his initials, Joseph Edward Duncan.

After his arrest, Duncan started blogging again with the help of others from inside prison. The blog is here. Here is an undated picture of Jet.
Here are two awesome time lines (Timeline One, Timeline Two) on Duncan’s life on the great The Cellar blog which is devoted to this case. This is a website Duncan made, the usual whining stuff about how terribly society treats convicts.

I interviewed my friends Thrillseekerman, Doperman, and Sexmaniacman about Steve Groene, the father of the three child victims and Chris Groene, his brother. All these guys, Doperman, Thrillseekerman, Sexmaniacman, grew up together with me in Southern California, and we all ran with the same crowd. They’re scattered to the five winds now, but all still keep in touch by phone and Internet.

I can’t say where they are, but they’re all still in the USA! I grew up with all of them, but I don’t remember Steve Groene or Chris Groene. I think the Groenes and I knew some of the same people, but I don’t remember the Groenes specifically.

Thrillseekerman shared his reminiscences about the Groenes:

Hi Bob, this case really wears on my mind. It’s amazing that I know this guy, and I know his brother, Chris, too. I haven’t seen Steve in 27 years, and I haven’t seen Chris in probably 25-26 years. Doperman knows Chris but I don’t think he knows Steve.

We all grew up together, Steve, Chris, Sexmaniacman, Doperman, and me, Thrillseekerman! And all the rest of the gang! And you, Bob! Ha ha! I heard about the case and saw the strange name, Groene, and wondered if it was him.

I saw his pic and knew it was him, though at the time I had not seen him in 24 years. He looked like he’d had a hard life; I don’t know if there is any better way to put it. His sister now says he already had cancer at the time. I don’t know enough to comment. Life’s hard on all of us in one way or another. Hang in there, Steve!

Steve was into drugs when I knew him, but then so was I! Ha ha! We all were! Ha ha! I think I went to grade school with the guy in Orange County and he was in my grade, but I’m not entirely sure.

I never really knew him that well, but I went to see him play with a blues band at a party in an industrial park one night in 1980. He’s a damn fine blues musician and I have good memories of that party. I was drinking Heinekens and later on smoking some dope.

Later I got to know Steve better, and somehow in 1981 I was buying Thai weed from him. I realize that sounds bad, but I was a dealer too! For many years! Ha ha. All of us – my friends and I – were drug users and dealers for many years. Ha ha! Plus, Steve sold me some damn good Thai weed too! Eat your hearts out, puritans!

Steve was working in the carnivals, traveling all around as a carny, was in with the biker crowd, and he was doing methamphetamine, but I don’t think he was doing very much. He was just a recreational user. Back in those days, the only people doing meth were bikers and carnies, people like that. Now meth is this huge deal.

He used to come over once in a while, mostly to sell me pot. I was just a pothead at the time. That’s all I know about Steve Groene and dope. Pothead, occasional meth user. But that was Summer 1981, and I never saw him again. I won’t guess about the rest of his life.

I remember he came over once. I was living in an apartment and there was this young guy staying there. He was really mentally ill and he needed a place to stay. He was living on the couch. Ha ha! There was a guitar case owned by this guy, a great guitarist who was going through a manic episode.

There were cigarette burns all up and down the case, and I pointed to them, shocked, then to the guy in the midst of the manic episode. Steve gave a smile, of sadness,  wisdom, truth, and life itself. And then he said, “That’s the blues, man.” That’s right, Steve, you got it, man. The blues is life, and life is the blues. Ain’t that so true now, though? Damn.

I realize that I may be trashing his reputation here, but Steve has already admitted to being a heavy drug user as a younger man. Besides, what’s wrong with being a doper? Ha ha! I’m 50 years old, and I’m still a stoner! By the way, can you get me any good pot? Ha ha!

I want to point out that Steve Groene was always the nicest guy to me, a real warm and kindhearted person, always was. I value that, and I’ll always remember him for that.

I also knew Chris Groene, too.

That handsome face, beautiful long hippie surfer hair, and words of honey – no wonder the girls ate him up! Ha ha! Chris was a doper too, a pothead! Ha ha! We all were! He was a juvenile delinquent as a kid, but hey, a lot of us were. Even me! Ha ha! A nice, friendly, charming delinquent. I think Chris was probably a better thief than I was, though. Ha ha! I never was good at stealing.

Chris was also a real nice and warmhearted guy the whole time I knew him. I guess he outgrew that delinquent stuff. I still saw him later, into the early 1980’s, and he was still a kind, warmhearted person. I understand he’s got a really good job now.

I see in a recent pic Steve’s got himself a really nice looking new girlfriend. And he’s still a blues musician, which he always was. He’s a damn good musician, too.
I’m amazed that Steve has appeared to hold up pretty well in all this. Two of his kids and his ex-wife were brutally murdered, and his daughter was kidnapped and molested. But in the last pic I saw of him, he seems to be holding up. I think I would have snapped a long time ago.

All of us, me, Doperman, Chris, Steve, and all our friends, and you, Bob! Ha ha! We were bad boys, rebels, longhairs, surfers, stoners, mavericks, and trillseekers. Badass middle class dopesmoking White boys! Ha ha! We were White Punks On Dope ! Ha ha! Those were the days, man.

I’ll always remember Steve and Chris Groene. Whatever else they’ve been in their interesting lives, they were never mean. They both have hearts as big as the ocean. You don’t see that a lot in this world. Even, with the ravages of time and an unknowable future, if my heart becomes cold and hard, there will always be a tiny warm place there set aside just for Steve and Chris Groene.

Steve and Chris Groene, presente!

Doperman reminisced about Chris Groene:

I was working at the local elementary school as a janitor when I was 16. It was 1974. One night Chris, then age 15, came up to me and wanted me to give him access to the auditorium so Chris could steal a microphone. I guess Chris was a musician too? He almost talked me into it, but I eventually chickened out.

Chris was more of a charming type, and he had natural good looks, really long hair, and he got all kinds of girls and women. He could charm the poison right out of a cobra. This dude had style, man! He was one slick guy! I liked Chris Groene, Bob.

He was always really good to me, even when he was trying to convince me to participate with him in a juvenile crime! I think he grew out of that delinquent stuff, and I hear he has a great job now. You go, Chris! A ghost from your past!

Sexmaniacman recalled Steve Groene. The only recollection he had was one night 30 years ago when he was out of mind on LSD:

“I remember one time, it was the summer of 1978, it was around 10 PM, and I was flying on LSD! I think I was with my buddy Craig L. Anyway, we were headed to this party at Alan B’s place. We came to the street where the party was, and there were cops there! I was on acid, driving a car, and I looked right into this cop’s eyes! With my huge saucer eyeballs! Scary!

Well, we went inside, and I was flying on fucking LSD! Oh man! Steve Groene was there! He had this big, friendly, warm smile, enough to light up the whole room, like always. It was Alan B’s party, an Italian guy. A hippie and an acidhead! Ha ha!

Well, I walked in and there’ was this beautiful Mexican chick, about 20 years old, sitting on the couch. She was kinda big, but not too big. Just big enough, baby! Lotsa curves! Well, she was looking at me the whole time. I was kinda looking back, but I didn’t really know what to do.

So after a while Steve Groene said, way too loud, “Hey! Sexmaniacman! Why don’t you get her a beer, Sexguy? She wants you to get her a beer, Sexman!” He was smiling and laughing, but he was also like, “You idiot! Pick up on the chick! She likes you! Go for it, dummy! Like, duh!” So I go and get her a Heineken. I forget what happened after that. I fucked up; I don’t think I even got her number. I was so stupid sometimes.

Later that night, I was in Alan’s bedroom. I told him I was on LSD. He said, “Hey, Sexmaniacman! Let’s do some more acid and go to Black Star Canyon and fry all night!” I opened up a box full of blue LSD tablets. But we never did it.

I love Steve Groene, Bob, I really do. He’s a good person, and his heart is solid gold. He ran with a rough crowd, and he looked like a pretty tough guy, but he was good people all the way. A shout out to Steve Groene! Blast from the past!

Fear As a Freezing Agent, or Why Introverts Have Such Low Rates of Violence

Anxiety disorders are considered minor mental illnesses because for the most part, they’re not crazy at all. Also it’s pretty much run of the mill stuff that a lot of totally functional people have, and many of these people appear quite normal if you meet them.

Also they are quite harmless due to fear being omnipresent in all of these and the disorders striking at introverted, guilty, etc. types. I would also argue that fear is a “freezing agent” for action. It seems to propel you backwards and make you stay in place, causing inertia. It stops you from moving forwards. There are times when I feel frozen in my chair with a huge weight-like a force forcing me back into it so hard, it’s hard to get out of the chair.

Energy either goes forwards or backwards, into the self or out at others.

With all that fear energy going backwards inside the self, along with the fact that anger’s not usually combined with it, it simply freezes the person in place, and there’s no more energy left to project outwards towards other persons as aggression and violence. I suppose you could argue that fear is aggression directed inwards and aggression is fear projected outwards. This is why people with anxiety disorders and introverts have such low rates of violence. The extreme energy propelling the life forces backwards into the person leaves no energy left over to propel outwards at others as violence.

In other words, they couldn’t commit an act of violence if they tried! Something would stop them and they would say, “I don’t have this in me.”

Alt Left: Banned Again

LOL just got banned from another Facebook group! Yay! First thing you need to know is I get banned from almost all Facebook groups. When I come to a Facebook group, if I hate it, I usually think, “How can I get banned from here as quickly as possible?” And then I proceed to do just that. And I’m usually banned in less than an hour. Half those Facebook groups? Why do they even exist? I figure they exist for guys like me to troll them and see how fast I can get banned, right? What other reason could they possibly have for their pathetic existence?!

The group is called This Is Why Conservatives Call Us Snowflakes. I figured the group is Alt Left, but it’s really not. It’s just the usual SJW idiots, except that they are slightly less crazy than the ordinary SJW idiots. There are a lot of these “lesser brands” about nowadays. I’m not real happy with this trend. It’s still the same poison, just more diluted this time. If you’re going to make a break with the Cultural Left, it has to be total.

Here’s the problem right here:

Hate speech of any kind is not allowed. No racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc allowed. Respect people’s pronouns & identities. No slurs of any kind are allowed. Mayo, Karen, etc are allowed tho

Ok, that’s not Alt Left at all. No Alt Left group would ever put anything that stupid on there. Of course, I think Alt Left groups should ban people for using certain slurs or possibly for severe bigoted language. Emphasis on severe. Every time I see one of these No Hate Speech signs, I want to bang my head on the desk. Because anyone who puts up a sign like that thinks “hate speech” is, just about, anything. And everything. And the kitchen sink.

There’s no attempt at nuance, and if you’re not doing nuance, you’re nowhere near being a self-actualized humans. Because one of the only things separating us elevated types for the usual fucktard rabble is…nuance, a sense of proportion, taking things case by case, the spirit of the law and not the letter, take each case separately and evaluate, things  like tone, intent, humor, basically, a sense of scale. All of which is always missing in any idiot tard who puts up a NO HATE SPEECH sign.

Notice that the only slurs they allow are mayo and Karen. Karen is just a slur for a certain type of nosey and annoying suburban White woman. More globally, it is a slur against White women period. Mayo is a shitty slur against White people. So these are just standard SJWtards. The only people it’s ok to hate are White people and White women. Everything else is bigotry, including calling trannies trannies, which, by the way, is one of my favorite pastimes.

I probably got banned for transphobia. That’s what I usually get banned for nowadays. I love to misgender these people because to me, it’s misgendering when you refer to a man who thinks he’s a woman as a woman. He’s not a woman. He’s a man who thinks he’s a woman. Likewise, it’s misgendering to refer to a woman who thinks she’s a man as a man. Of course she’s not a man. She’s a woman who thinks she’s a man.

And I just love to call those people trannies. How can you not love that word? Listen to it. Swirl it around on your tongue like a fine wine. Savor it. Smack your lips a few times. Doesn’t that word tranny just have the greatest mouthfeel?

I also love to call trannies mentally ill because that’s exactly what they are. If you are a man who thinks you’re a woman, 90% of the time, I would say you’re nuts. If you are a woman who thinks she’s a man, 95% of the time, I would say you’re nuts. Except for a few early onset cases which I am willing to make amends for (though they’re still not the opposite sex), a man can never be a woman and a woman can never be a man.

No one even knows what any of that shit above means. What’s hate speech? Define it. Give me a good, concise definition that everyone can agree on. I don’t usually use other racial slurs when I write, but boy is it tempting! I so wanted to call a Japanese guy a Jap the other day! Why? I dunno. Because these shitwad SJW’s told me I can’t, that’s why! If you tell me there’s words I am banned from saying because they are offensive, those are probably the first words I am going to use in my next sentence to you.

Come on. We came out of the punk rock movement, Goddamn it. You have any idea what the punk rock movement was like? Like,  nothing is sacred. Like, giving the finger to everything. Like, breaking all the rules. Like, saying all the words you’re not supposed to say. Why? For the living fuck of it, that’s why. Which is to say, no reason at all!

We came out of the Goddamned punk rock movement, and you think we’re going to listen to SJW Miss Manners telling us to watch our language? LOL. Get out. Half of our songs had slurs in them. That was the whole idea. Not to hurt people’s feelings, but just to piss all over everything, the whole system. Tell us we can’t say something, and we’d say it. Tell us we couldn’t wear something, we’d wear it. Tell us not to say, do, or wear something because it’s mean, Hell, that’s even more reason to break the rules! It was all about pissing people off? Who? Everyone! Why? For no damned reason at all!

I won’t say those words for any particular reason and certainly not to hurt people. I’ll only say them because you, an authoritarian shitwad, ordered me not to! Hey, I’m still a rebellious teenager in a 63 year old body, sorry.

I do use words like this in my personal life. But not commonly and even then, only a few special words for certain folks who’ve really got it coming to them!

People Who Cannot Ever Admit They Are Wrong Are Toxic

I advise you to get away from all such people. Unless the behavior is being caused by a mental disorder (which it often is, particularly a mood disorder), and the disorder clears up (which does happen with mood disorders sometimes), these people pretty much never get better. In fact, as they age in life, they have a tendency to get worse and worse, as the entire strategy is a defense against their own perceived failures in life (which we all have), and as you age, you pile up more and more failures, so there is more to defend against with each passing year.

If you can’t admit you are wrong, ever, ever then there is something horribly wrong with you.

My whole family is like this.

My father was this way.

My middle brother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so of course he’s never wrong.

My sister is mentally ill and has suffered from Major Depression her whole life. She doesn’t work and collects disability, but if you met her you would not think there was anything wrong with her. She never, ever, ever admits she is wrong about anything. She’s frankly completely fucked in the head for the rest of her life. If you even suggest in the tiniest voice that she might be in error, her voice starts to rise in anger, and she very quickly gets out of control if you don’t tamp down on it very quickly.

This ridiculous person has had decades of psychotherapy, and it has done absolutely zero in my opinion. She hasn’t gotten a thing out of it. She’s just as nuts and screwed up as when she started.

Her Depression, which has wrecked her life and is frankly the dominating theme of her existence, can never be mentioned even one time. For a long time, she was on meds, but that fact could never be mentioned, nor could you ever ask which meds she was on, etc. It’s the dominating theme of her whole life, but it can never be discussed. Furthermore, you can’t even mention the subject of mood disorders or depression in general because, you know, that means you are secretly talking about her.

She has been very overweight forever, and this has given her diabetes. Her weight can never be discussed, ever, not even one time, though it’s one of the most important subjects in her life. You can’t even discuss the subject of weight or overweight people at all because her voice will start rising very quickly and if you don’t shut down the conversation, she will throw a temper tantrum. This because when you talk about weight, you are obviously talking about her.

She throws minor temper tantrums all the time, and when you are around her, you are walking on eggshells all the time so as not to set her off. She, like most of my family, is an emotional volcano.

I will say that my narcissist brother at least has a formidable defensive system set up to where he doesn’t seem too unhealthy and babyish like the rest of my stupid family. If you suggest he is wrong, you will get this sort of narcissistic defense as if he is activating some of the structures in this vast fortress he has constructed to protect himself. He won’t like it, but he won’t act babyish like the rest of them.

He’s insecure too (because the inability to admit you are wrong is evidence that you are insecure), but he is insecure in a much more structured and seemingly healthy way. That is because his defensive structure is very elaborated.

The idiot I discussed above has a poorly elaborated and very brittle and weak defensive structure. That’s why it is so easily penetrated, and they blow up all the time on the flip of a dime. I will say that my brother has a more mature defensive system because when he’s activating his defenses, he seems more like a grownup than a baby like the rest of my family. He’s exasperating, but in a way, he’s actually easier to deal with that the rest of them, and in an odd way, he’s actually healthier than the rest of them.

Or perhaps I just break down his defenses. I make it obvious that I won’t speak to him unless he acts like a human being, and I enforce that rule with a stick. He knows this so he’s sure to be on his best behavior when he talks to me, which is almost never. Or perhaps his personality disorder is fading as he ages, which is often the case. No one is quite sure why personality disorders often fade as we get older. It’s a good question. Schizophrenia and anxiety disorders also tend to get better in middle age. I guess we just settle down in our middle years.

When he talks to me these days, which is rarely, he’s as healthy as he’s ever been. We’ve had a rocky relationship forever, but there were times all along where we got along famously like two loving brothers. Then a while later it would be war again. This shows when you put very strict rules on people and enforce them with a stick, you can often force even some pretty pathological people to act better. There is no way to force any such rule on my sister because she’s too unhealthy, poorly defended, and insecure to follow any sort of rules. She would see it as an insult that she is even being required to follow rules at all.

Whereas my brother knows deep down inside that he’s an asshole and that everyone hates him for it, and he knows a lot of us won’t put up with his shit. It’s weird how the only person in my family with an actual full-blown Axis 2 disorder seems healthier deep down inside than the other members of my family. Maybe because he has such a highly elaborated structure, and furthermore, he is very interested in “acting adult” at all times – something my other family members are not interested in.

Perhaps an elaborated structure is more well-defended and robust than an immature, brittle, poorly defended structure. Throwing temper tantrums is generally not a good way to defend your ego. That’s what children do. If you habitually throw tantrums, you are not a grownup. You are a Goddamned child. Now quite possibly many to most people are overgrown children who never grow up and stay babies their whole lives. Well, fine, but I would appreciate if my readers were more healthy than that.

If I’m talking about you here, just realize that I am not saying you’re bad. I’m saying you’re unhealthy and you need to get more healthy. That’s all! And what’s wrong with that? If you can’t get more healthy, at least get a better defended and more mature and adult-appearing defense structure. Temper tantrums look adult 0% of the time.

Now we come to my father.

Sigh. I don’t really remember what he was like in the early days up until age 9 when he was a pretty mellow dude. The problems with his career, entirely self-generated, started when I was nine.

This is when his personality totally fell apart also, though he kept a highly elaborated defensive structure his whole life. Nevertheless, it was brittle and annoying on the surface, and he blew up in temper tantrums all time. He was a human volcano, always exploding if not in a big way, than a small way. He was always gritting his teeth and pounding on the table. Of course he was never wrong too. None of these people are. If you corrected him, he flipped. He would pound the table and say, “That’s a quibble!” Well, if you are mature, you should be able to handle people correcting even your quibbles. I am. Me erroring in a quibble is better than me erroring in a big way.

These people are all “emotional terrorists.” If you correct them, tell them that they are wrong, criticize them, or bring up one of their countless banned subjects (banned because they are too babyish to discuss them), they terrorize you with a tantrum.

So you stop doing it. You stop correcting them, telling them that they are wrong, and criticizing them because of the threat of a terrorist attack called a tantrum. You avoid the banned subject so they don’t set off their tantrum suicide bomb vest. They often get their way by throwing tantrums until people give in to their selfish demands. “If you don’t give in to my selfish demands, I will throw a terrorist temper tantrum!”

Most people just cave in rather than try to enforce any reasonable rules on these people. Oh one more thing. These people all hate to have rules of boundaries on them. Rules and boundaries are insults because in their selfish, shitty minds they should be able to do whatever the Hell they want. These people are not babies. Instead they are permanent teenagers! They’re perverse. Perverse means you tell someone to sit down and the stand up. Like that.

Further, the implication is that the rule needed to be set because you were acting bad in some way, and that’s an insult right there because all of these people are never wrong. If you set rules for these people, they often resentfully and deliberately break them in a passive-aggressive way. They break the rule simply to show their contempt for it. It’s also more terrorism. “If you don’t let me do whatever the Hell I want to do and try to put some boundaries or rules on me, I will violate all of your boundaries and break all of your rules in mini-terrorist attacks against you!” More emotional terrorism.

With these people, when they talk, they will of course say all sorts of wrong things and get their facts wrong all the time because all of us do that, yours truly included.

Hey. My name is not God. I don’t know everything. I want to know the facts. I don’t want to know any lies about anything. So when I say things that are wrong, I am grateful to be corrected. Thank you for fixing one of my many errors in facts! Now I have a more factual way of looking at life, as small as it is.

I don’t wish to be deluded about much of anything except maybe things regarding myself, but deep down inside, I am not even deluded about those things either. I walk around believing complete lies about myself all the time because I function so much better that way, but deep down inside, I know they are lies. The truth is unbelievably depressing and even though it is true, I don’t care to believe it. If I walk around believing those depressing truths all the time, I will almost appear down, unhealthy and lacking in confidence. I don’t wish to come across that way because it seems like that doesn’t work very well.

“Facing reality” is often one of the worst things you can do. Escapism of all sorts has its benefits in greater mental health and probably even greater life expectancy via reduced suicidality.

Alt Left: The Standard View of Psychiatry on Statutory Rape (Sex between Adults and 13-17 Year Old Girls)

It’s not pathological for a man of any age to have sex with a teenage girl of any age. That’s clear from the debates around DSM-5 Hebephilia which wished to pathologize men who have a preference for girls under 15 over mature females. The criteria would probably have been been severe and persistent fantasies of pubertal girls, so that would rule out most men. However, fully 21% of all men are more attracted to girls under 13 than they are to mature females!

I realize that figure is shocking, but bear with me. It’s been born out by study after study.

I did some research on the local Yokuts Indians from a site in the 1600’s-1700’s. They had a series of skeletons of young women who had all died. They were between ages of 27-35. The assumption was that this was a woman’s lifespan among this primitive tribe. She was dead by age 31! If a woman is going to be dead by age 31, she’d best start having kids at age 16 or maybe even younger. If she starts breeding at age 16, her children will be 15 when she dies. Starting at 15, her kids would be 16 when she died. Starting at 14, her kids would be 17 when she died.

In Mexico, they marry their women and start breeding them at age 14, and it is usually an adult man who marries her. In most primitive tribes, there is a coming of age ceremony around age 15. Even today among most primitive tribes, girls and boys are both considered full adults at age 15. According to modern, advanced American thinking, 100% of the people in primitive tribes today are child molesters and pedophiles! See how stupid that sounds? 95% of the American population actually thinks like this.

You might think it’s terrible for a teen’s mother to die when the teen is 15-17 years old, but back then, that was just normal. The kids would not be left adrift anyway as by that age, they were all no longer boys and girls but full-fledged men and women.

Furthermore, sad events that are normalized in your society may not be very traumatizing. Much of the trauma occurs because people are told that something horrible has happened to them. Before they get told that, they were often not sure of how to process the event. If instead we told that that what happened was wrong or bad but it was no big deal and they would get over it, you would see the trauma rates collapse.

Tell someone they’ve been traumatized and guess how they act? They act traumatized! In our society, we’ve decided that 50% of life is traumatizing, especially with the snowflakes and their safe spaces and microaggressions. No wonder so much young people seem so nuts these days. We’ve been yelling at them that they’re being traumatized all the time all through childhood and teen years and it doesn’t even get better when they grow up. So they act, duh. Traumatized! Of course once you have a Traumatizing Society, you need to set up a huge Trauma Industry dedicated to making mountains out of molehills and ensuring that grown adults remain pussified babies long into adulthood.

The modern notion that people are all little tiny children until the day they hate 18 is insane. It’s backed up by notions that the brain is not fully matured by 17. Well, it’s not fully matured by age 24-26 either, so let’s put the age of consent for sex and the majority at age 25! After all, you’re only an adult when your brain is mature, right?

Truth is that people mature at different ages. In early times in the West, children were considered “little adults” and were often treated as such. It’s not known if they matured earlier then but maybe they did. Treat someone like a kid, they act like a kid. Treat someone like an adult, they act like an adult.

Although this sounds very groovy and compassionate to our postmodern, late capitalist, metrosexual, 3rd Wave feminist ears, the truth is that for 200,000 years of our evolution, no human gave two shits that the brain didn’t fully mature until age 25, although they probably had some notion of the idea. They simply didn’t feel it was worth thinking about because frankly it isn’t. Our present culture infantalizes teenagers and young adults to an extreme degree. Infantalizing humans doesn’t seem to be a good idea to me, but maybe “modern people” have other ideas. After all, treat someone like a baby and they act like one, right?

Further, most primitive tribes allow both boys and girls to start having sex at puberty, around age 13. The girls often have sex with boys, but sometimes they have sex with men. For instance, the typical marriage among the Blackfoot Indians was between a man aged 35 and a 15 year old girl. Our “modern, scientific, compassionate” society would state unequivocally that all Blackfoot men were pedophiles or child molesters for the thousands of years that the tribe was in existence.

Isn’t that a stupid way to think? Look how stupid we are! We’re surrounded by all these damned gadgets, we are so technologically advanced that we’re about to become literal aliens, we can cure or help most diseases, we understand most of the most important questions, including the biggies or we’re on our way to figuring them out. Unified Theory, here we come!

But some goddamned primitive Indian with a digging stick and a rock to grind acorns in who doesn’t know the first thing about technology, science, or medicine has more wisdom we “advanced” clowns do. For Chrissake, we may be advancing technologically, but we’re going backwards in terms of wisdom. How pathetic is it that Silicon Valley ultra-technologists have less wisdom that some primitive tribe eking out an existence in the jungle? Are we too civilized for our own damn good? It’s possible to get so “civilized,” protective, pampering, and fussy that you’re not even rational anymore. That my modern colleagues have less wisdom than some spearchucker in the jungle is a pretty sad statement!

From age 13-15, most girls are not very fertile, so it’s hard to get pregnant.

The debate around Hebephilia ended up concluding that even having a strong preference for pubertal children as sex partners was not mentally disordered. Further, it wasn’t even abnormal! Having been in chatrooms full of these guys, I’m not so sure about that, but it’s best to keep as much sex crap out of the DSM as we can.

It was even decided that having sex with 13-15 year old girls if one had a preference for them was not mentally disordered either because most crimes are not mental disorders and most criminals aren’t nuts. Instead, the argument was that these men weren’t nuts – instead they were just criminals, with being criminal and being nuts as two different things!

Of course most crooks aren’t nuts. They’re just bad. Are there disorders called Murder Disorder, Mugging Disorder, Fraudster Disorder, Batterer Disorder, Attempted Murder Disorder, Burglar Disorder, Robber Disorder, Forger Disorder, etc.? Well, of course not.

In mental health all we care about is if something is nuts or not. Hence we don’t care much about criminal behavior because most crooks aren’t nuts. We leave that to the judicial system to deal with and moral philosophers to decide what to allow and forbid. If people are disordered, we say they are abnormal. If people are not disordered, we say they are normal. Obviously a lot of real bad people are not disordered. So we are forced to call a lot of criminal behavior and most criminals normal because neither one is generally crazy. So a lot of very bad behavior and people are “normal” in the sense that they’re not nuts.

So a man of any age having sex with a teenage girl of any age does not make him sexually abnormal, as it’s completely “normal” behavior, as in, it’s not nuts, and even, looking at human history and other cultures, in most places and times, it was more or less normal.

But normal behavior doesn’t necessarily mean ok behavior. It just means that the behavior is not crazy.

The statutory rape matter is a moral and legal problem, not a psychological one.

We in mental health do not like to pathologize crimes and morally unethical behavior as psychological disorder. This is outside of what we care about and off into the lands of moral philosophers, religious thinkers, and legal theorists. It is in the area of right and wrong, good and bad, and good and evil. Most criminal behavior is not driven by psychological disorder. It’s driven by a defective moral conscience.

So whether it should be legal for a man of whatever age to have sex with a teenage girl or whatever age is a moral matter, a moral question. Perhaps you feel it is the worst behavior on Earth. Perhaps you think it’s completely ok and should be legal. Probably you are somewhere between those views. All of those views about this behavior are valid, as everyone and hence society itself is entitled to reasonable moral values of right and wrong.

Why was there an attempt to shove Hebephilia into the DMSO category in the first place. Because it was a game. A game called “Call Em Crazy, Lock Em up as Dangerous Forever, and Throw Away the Key.” Otherwise known as preventive detention. Or putting people in prison for life for the crime of “dangerousness.”

The game here is make a lot of the sexual behavior we dislike into “mental illnesses.” Because the only way we can lock someone up forever on the bullshit charge of “dangerousness” (there’s no such crime) is if they’re nuts. Yep. You can be dangerous as Hell, and as long as you’re not officially crazy and you’re just a mean SOB, it’s all kosher.

Obviously most sex offenders are not the slightest bit nuts, so a scam was made up to call them crazy so we could lock them up forever in preventive detention (which is probably illegal) for the rest of their lives because we think maybe they might sort of kind of a little bit possibly theoretically plausibly do something, we don’t know what, to someone, we don’t who, somewhere, we don’t know where, somehow, we don’t know how.

That’s unconstitutional on its face.

The only people you can lock up like are the dangerously mentally ill, and you are supposed to release them when they get better, except we never do because no matter how much better they get, we always say they’re not better enough. So we wanted to lock all these poor sops away forever, but we couldn’t because they weren’t nuts, they were just bad people, you know, like most criminals? So a scam was created to make up a bunch of “mental disorders” out of what are mostly just kinks and sexual perversions, when it’s doubtful whether any kinky or perverted people are actually nuts.

Generally they’re not nuts. They’re just perverts. Perverts aren’t nuts. They’re perverted. Two different things.

So they made up a fake mental disorder called Pedophilia to lock up all the child molesters forever, although most men in preventive detention are nonpedophilic molesters. Also they never let them out even when they get better because no matter how much better they get, the cops still say they’re not better enough yet. When will they be better enough? When they’re dead! It’s right out of Kafka. They just sit and rot forever. All because, you know, think of the children! And the usual pearl clutching we Americans so excel at.

So we decided all the chomos and short eyes had a “mental disease” called “Pedophilia” that made them “insane” or if you prefer “crazy.” Well, it doesn’t make you insane and it doesn’t even make you crazy. It might make you do bad things, but it doesn’t make you nuts. And since we decided on no rational basis whatsoever that all of these people were permanently dangerous, we have locked them all away forever on the basis that they are “dangerously mentally ill.” It’s all a big joke.

Dangerously mentally ill is supposed to be for the paranoid schizophrenic who grabs a gun and climbs a tower. It’s not for run of the mill criminals. Merely being dangerous as opposed to being nuts and dangerous is not granted the penalty of preventive detention because it’s decided that as long as you’re not nuts, you have at least some ability to control your dangerous behavior because obviously if you’re nuts, you lose that ability.

How about all the other paraphilias? Why don’t we decide they’re all dangerously mentally ill too? There’s nothing preventing it. The peeping toms? The flashers? The fetishists? The masochists? The sexual sadists? The first two are low level criminals so no one cares, the third are harmless except to women’s panties, shoes, and pocketbooks, the fourth only hurt themselves so no one cares, but the fourth? The sexual sadists? One might make the case that some convicted sexual sadists are dangerously mentally ill, but they never go down on this stuff. Only the Chesters. Because, you know, everyone hates Touchers. Think of the children!

One might think that as Antisocial Personality Disorder is in the DSM, a lot of these guys could go down on dangerously mentally ill, but there’s a serious argument whether any personality disordered person is mentally ill per se as opposed to be what I would call sick, character disordered, twisted, etc. Axis 2 people are what I call “soul-sick.” They’re permanently disordered, but the issue is at the core of their selves so they’re not really mentally ill. Instead, they are “sick.”

But nope, no PD’s go down on dangerously mentally ill. We save that for the sex criminals! Because, you know, the sex criminals are really so much worse than your ordinary variety criminals who burgle, rob, thieve, defraud, beat, maim, mug, shoot, stab, torture, and kill people because as long as they’re not fucking anyone while they’re doing it, it’s never quite so bad, you see? Because Puritanism. Obviously it’s so much worse to do bad things when you are fucking someone as opposed to just, you know, doing bad things when you don’t happen to be fucking anyone. Because whether you’re fucking someone or not when you commit your crime makes such a difference!

There has been a very devious attempt lately to sneak another mentally disordered sex offender (MDSO) into the mix.

But first notice that they singled out the sex criminals for permanent preventive detention as opposed to, you know, your garden variety maniacs. But why? Why do only sex criminals deserve preventive detention as opposed to regular murderers, muggers, and robbers? Because moral panic. That’s why.

They went after the rapists. Because of course everyone hates rapists. Except we live in a rape culture that says it’s ok to rape and encourages all men to go rape all they want. But at the same time everyone hates rapists. Makes sense, huh? They tried to sneak in a Rape Paraphilic Disorder in order to round up all the rapists just like they rounded up all the Chesters.

Problem? The vast majority of rapists do not have any sort of a paraphilia about rape. They do it for all sorts of reasons. Some like to hurt people (sadistic rapists), some are angry at or hate women (anger rapists) and two different types do it for different power trips – the Power Reassurance Rapist and another that slips my mind. One of these types is the “gentleman rapist” who actually feels bad about raping you! So there are different kinds, and almost all rapists won’t kill you, except the Sadists (5%) are very dangerous, and the Anger Rapists (30%?) may well hurt you but generally won’t kill you unless you fight them, in which case they might.

But men who have a specific paraphilia about rape? That is, they get aroused more by the idea of raping women than by anything else, possibly to the point that unless they rape or pretend to rape, it just doesn’t move the meter? It’s either very uncommon or nonexistent, depending on who you listen to. But of course, once they sneak in Rape Paraphilic Disorder, they’re going to label all the rapists mentally ill with this fake illness, and lock them all away as MDSO’s! Neat trick, huh? Thankfully the DSM-5 committees stopped that one coming and dodged the bullet.

DSM-5 Hebephilia was shot down on similar grounds, that this was an attempt to round up men who committed statutory rape with young teens (13-15 year old girls) and missed the deadline for going down on Child Molestation (usually under 13). So this way we get to lock up countless men who bang hot to trot little jailbaits forever as dangerously mentally ill.

Two Kinds of People in the World – Morons and Psychopaths

Problem is most people with genius IQ’s s (1% of the population) pretty quickly figure out that the world is populated by morons and psychopaths. They’re not really morons except that at stratospheric IQ’s, even average IQ people almost seem retarded.

The psychopaths of course run the show and get all the money, stuff, and chicks. Hence why women flock to psychopaths. Psychopaths lie constantly and these lies become known as “culture,” especially as they own the (((media))) and (Hollywood))). Don’t mean to single out any particular ethnic group here but the (((ones))) who run Hollywood and the media are as psychopathic as any Gentile running society.

The morons are too dumb to figure out they’re being lied to, so they go along with the lies. Hence why the psychopaths always try to grab the media, first thing they do. Because most of the morons are so dumb that they actually believe the media, even when it’s lying most of the time.

Genius IQ is hardly a brag. 1 out of every 100 Americans has one. Genius IQ’s are as common as weeds. If you ever went to university, you probably met them teaching your classes and probably sitting next to you.

A famous article called The Outsiders was written a while back. The writer sought out people with IQ’s over 160. Yes, I’ve met one. I also met a 156 IQ woman. She was literally the fastest woman I’ve ever met in my life. Her life was like a rocket to the moon, it was that fast. Most of them were men and most were failures, of course. Most were living at or near the poverty level. If they worked at all it was in basic jobs like at the post office. Most were not married and recent celibacy rates were very high. Most of them were not dating at all. Some were very handsome, too.

Women don’t exactly seek out geniuses you know. They were almost all excruciatingly shy and introverted. There wasn’t any mention of Aspergers Syndrome, though I doubt most had it. Most lived alone in small apartments. As you can see it is actually possible to be so damned smart that you are doomed to fail in society. And almost to a one, they were misanthropes and absolutely hated people. Why? Every single one of them hated people because they said they were idiots.

Well, I concur. Actually, every day I stick around this Clown Rock Flying Through Space, I start to hate people just a little bit more. And I hate them because, yes, they’re stupid. Now, stupid people are just fine. Hey, most humans are idiots, face it. Just because you’re dumb doesn’t mean you’re bad as long as you’re nice. Problem is people can’t settle for being merely stupid. They have been dangerous too! So my opinion is that I hate people more and more every day because they are dangerous idiots. As in so damned stupid that they are a threat to my sanity and maybe even my freedom.

People are dangerously stupid because they can’t think for themselves. They’re all just terrified sheep. They go along with whatever Lies du Jour are being pushed because if you don’t, you get ostracized like me. Of course if enough of them called the liars on their lies, they’d have to give them up and at least go make up some new ones.

Also, people are faddists. They are prone to mass hysterias and moral panics.

To give you an example of how asinine moral panics are, things that were completely normal in the 1970’s (statutory rape) are now regarded as the most evil things on Earth, deserving of life in prison or the death penalty! Dumb or what? Why? Because we’re in the midst of an idiot moral panic about this stuff.

And stuff that was regarded as the most evil behavior on Earth (smoking pot, taking psychedelics, and “drugs” in general) is now shockingly normal, and smoking pot is practically legal. I can’t tell you how many sanctimonious fucks I dealt with back in the day because I smoked pot, dropped acid now and again and like a line of coke at time. And I was never more than a casual user of most of that stuff.

See? The moral panics aren’t even rational! One decade something is just fine. Ten years later you need to get lynched on the spot for it. One decade something is Satan’s work itself. Come ten years and it’s so normal it’s almost laughable.

People who get involved in moral panics are basically sanctimonious shits. I’ve been dealing with hysterical, panicked sanctimonious shits my whole life and I’m really tired of them. I’m tired of being told I’m a bad person. I’m not anyway.

I’m actually starting to look forward to death, and that’s sorry.

Alt Left: Hate the Collective But Love the Individual

Claudius said he’d never met one person in his entire life who liked Jews as a collective or as a group, himself included. However, he and many of these others he quoted all said that they liked individual Jews, often very much, depending on their behavior of course.

I’d concur, except like an idiot, I was a Judeophile for the first 43 years of my life until I started researching the Palestinian issue in 2001 in the first Intifada, and I figured out those Hebrew fuckers had been lying to me my whole life, and I got pissed.

Then I went into some Jewish newsgroups and found that not only were the stereotypes true, but they were true in belligerent spades. I was nearly knocked out of my chair for weeks on end by how outrageously the Jews in those acted out the very worst anti-Semitic stereotypes. They could have strolled right out of the pages of Der Strumer, and perhaps some of them did.

Because you see, I had been taught my whole life that all of those ugly anti-Semitic stereotypes of Jews were complete lies made up by evil Nazi anti-Semites who hated Jews for absolutely no good reason at all. Like an idiot, I had believed that, and here was this newsgroup full of Jews, dancing right off the pages of the Protocols. Color me shocked, to say the least.

After my Pauline Demascene road conversion from Judeophilism to sanity, I still didn’t really hate them per se, more like I became Jew-wise or Jew-cynical, which probably the best attitude to take towards any ethnocentric human tribe of bastards and sonsofbitches.

Wait. I actually did go through an anti-Semitic phase, sadly enough, and I must report that obsessive and conspiratorial anti-Semitism is most definitely a mental disorder. Because when I was an anti-Semite, I was definitely crazy. It’s odd how it creeps up on you like that. I suspect that’s true of most any passionate ethnic or group hatreds unless you’ve got a good reason to hate ’em based on personal or group history or as it usually is, both.

My longest relationship – 5 1/2 years – was with a Jewish woman. Granted she was kind of a bitch (stereotype again), it was my longest. I was even going to convert to Judaism just for her. Mostly I just to be one of those Chomskyan self-haters and stick my finger and in their Hebraic eyes and say neener neener, but also because a part of my spirit, alas, is Jewish, having been born and raised a Jewish country – the United States – and not just a Jewish country but the largest one of that.

And there was always that faint hope that I could slide my way into some of that legendary tribally-distributed loot of theirs.

As far as the religion itself goes, it blows of course, like most shitty religions, and in fact, it might just be one of the worst ones of all. But you can always just go Reform, bake your own cake, and create a nice little religion out of it by throwing out all the bad parts and keeping all the good parts. Or go Left and become a guiding light unto the Gentiles, leading the way to a better world. Many leftwing Jews have taken this route, from Marx to Sanders. It sure was nice of the Jews to give themselves an out like that. Well, God bless em.

Hate the collective, love the individual.

This probably applies to lots of things –  a number of other races, Bronies, trannies, gay men, lesbians, rednecks, Muslims, pitbulls, Republicans, Gypsies, and feminists, except there probably aren’t any good Gypsies or feminists, so you may as well go ahead and hate ’em all. We hate the collective because we stand back and look at the collective forest from the nearest hill, and as a whole – holistically – it simply sucks, or worse, blows to the high heavens. But then when we hike down into the woods, and we peek at the individual trees in the forest, we find that a lot of them are ok.

Also, most group members act better as individuals than as a collective. Something about the madness of crowds I gather. Or human tribalism itself.

No, I Don’t Lack Credibility or Legitimacy

Related to the Delphi Murders, as you well know, I am widely hated. People say have never been right even one time, lie about and make up everything I say and in general am not a credible source. I will use this piece as a general reference to my credibility instead of addressing it endlessly in every post.

However, they have been saying exactly this about many different things I ever written over the last 15 years,  Consistently, I was shown to be right and they were wrong. Not one hater ever apologized and all continued to describe me as discredited and said that nothing I had ever said had been shown to be correct.

Particularly that I have no credibility and have never been right about anything. On the contrary I have been right about many things. I’m even correct about many of my political, philosophical, and other intellectual views because I think over all of these positions intensively before I make a decision about which position or philosophy to take.

As far as the matter at hand, many of my Delphi rumors have been proven correct, mostly correct, or somewhat  correct over the years. When Leigh Kerr came out with his leaks from case documents, many of my haters on Reddit kept remarking at how similar Leaker’s shocking leaks were to and how closely they resembled many of the things I had been saying for years. Well, of course. It’s always like that. The thing is these same people who said so much of what I said was proven right are now saying I have no credibility and I’ve never been right about anything. See how people are?

I recently had a long relationship – mostly just a friendship – with a young woman aged 27-28. She was 30 years my junior. One thing she kept saying over and over is how wise I was and how I had so much wisdom. Of course. I have had other young people on the Net who called me “sensei.”

I am currently the chosen mentor of a few young men in their 20’s, though I don’t mentor them enough. They chose me as their mentor. And I have heard that there are young women whom I am a mentor to, all in their 20’s. They say I’m their hero, idol, or mentor. A man in India recently wrote me and said his father, a very learned man, read my stuff and said that it was most wise and correct view of life he’d ever read in 60 years.

I attracted a huge legion of haters that grew and grew as I got more and more famous, well, Net-famous anyway. Related to this website and the articles I wrote, I have had three offers to be on TV and one offer to be in a documentary movie in Canada. One of the shows that wanted me on was Inside Edition. Yes, Inside Edition invited me on their show. All of you haters out there – how many of you have been offered to appear on the famous TV show Inside Edition? Not one of you.

I’ve been interviewed once on real radio and several times on Net radio, often for a full hour. These have ceased because the politics of the site and mine have drifted apart.

I can’t believe how many well-known people are familiar with this website. I recently had an offer to interview a TV-famous talking head pundit who has been on TV, the radio, and podcasts many times. He has written a few books proving that Republicans have been stealing our elections with voting machines for decades. He asked the name of my site and I told him and he said, “Oh yes! Great website! I’ve read it.” What? What? This famous guy who writes books and goes on TV reads my website?  But he wasn’t the first.

I don’t know it requires to be a “professional freelance journalist,” but I would say that anyone with a BA in Journalism who has a blog qualifies. See here on Rational Wiki, where the excellent authors of this website refer to me as a freelance journalist.

Alt-left

Possibly the earliest reference to an “alternative left” comes from the blog of freelance journalist Robert A. Lindsay in August 2015.[5] Lindsay, describing some on the far-left moving away from identity and social justice politics and moving towards focusing more on Economic Populism, proposed the alt-left as a “mirror” of the alt-right and described it as left-wing on economics and right-wing on social issues.[5][6]

In general the “Alt-Left” could be considered more radical than the “Realist Left”, being to their right on social issues and to their left on most everything else.

It has also been said that I am not a “legitimate” journalist. Look. I graduated from J-School. If you’re doing journalism, you’re a journalist. Julius Stryker was a journalist, an ugly one yet still legitimate. He was hanged for his journalism. Der Strumer was a magazine, a legitimate magazine.

There are no legitimate and illegitimate journalists, newspapers, or magazines. There are only journalists, newspapers and magazines. If they exist they are legitimate.

Really all bloggers who are writing about topical events are journalists. Are they professionals? I have no idea, but some of the better ones may as well be. It really doesn’t matter whether a journalist is paid or not. Does it matter whether an artist’s work sells or not? Does it matter whether a musicians is in an actual money-making band. Does it matter if a writer’s work is published or unpublished? Not really. Plenty of great artists who never sell their stuff or make a nickel off of it.

Also I have published numerous pieces for money in magazines and small local papers. I have even published short fiction in literary magazines. In addition, I recently published a chapter in an academic book on  Linguistics published out of a university in Turkey. It took me five years to write it. I had to make it through two peer reviews with the top names in the field and it passed. So, yes, I am a published author.

I also write for peer reviewed academic journals. In addition, I have refereed for a journal. That means serving on the peer review board. The field I published in is Linguistics.

Yes, I was an assistant editor of a large magazine for a while, but that was 40 years ago.

My enemies trash my writing skills but the general opinion is that I am very good. They’ve been saying this since I was seven years old, believe it or not. I started a novel at age nine. In particular, I do not see many grammatical or spelling errors in my work. This is another accusation. My writing has better punctuation and spelling that most people I write to on the Net.

Since my enemies insist that I am seriously mentally ill, I may as well come clean. I’ve been diagnosed probably ~30 times over the years by clinical psychologists and psychiatrists. It is true that I do have a mental disorder, and I do take psychiatric medication for it. Not that there’s any shame in that, despite what my enemies think. I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is an anxiety disorder. Most people with OCD are not crazy and do not appear crazy. Maybe a bit distracted. Maybe a little nervous like most anxiety disorder types. Most people I meet don’t treat me like I’m nuts. I don’t say weird things or engage in strange behavior. I’m the most normal guy around.

Furthermore, I’m pretty shy, so I don’t even talk much, and when I do, I have a very soft voice. If you meet me, I look like this brainy nerd soft spoken intellectual college professor guy with preppy clothes. Some people from the Net – my fans – came out to meet me and they were shocked at how introverted I was. I pretty seem like this nicest guy you’ll ever meet. This is of course the complete opposite of how my enemies describe me. If you told people who know me all the crazy stuff my enemies say about me, they would probably fall over laughing because I’m not anything like that.

I do not have any personality disorder on Axis 2. My personality is healthy. I don’t have any issues with sociopathy. I’m not narcissistic at all, but I do have high self-esteem, which is not the same thing.

I generally do not have any serious mood disorder, but I do feel a bit down a lot. I doubt it meets criteria for anything. I don’t suffer from mania.

I don’t have any psychotic disorder and I never have. I’ve never been psychotic for a day in my life.

Perhaps my writing rambles a bit. Who knows? A lot of us writers ramble on. It’s not pathological and it’s not even a sign of bad writing. Read James Joyce, Virginia Woolf, Thomas Wolfe, or William Burroughs some time. Some of the greatest authors of all “rambled.” We ramble because we write too much. That’s why they have these people called editors. Because most of us serious writers ramble and go on and on and write forever, as in way too much. Editors exist to cut the typical good writers prose down to size.

I’ve already stated many times that I never made up a lie one time on here. I am a professional, and this is a violation of professional ethics.

Many critics think it’s ridiculous that I get access to good sources, official documents, including confidential sources with important people who give information that is secret or supposed to be under wraps. I was trained to do this. I know how to interview and how to acquire, cultivate and keep sources around. I know how to get secret and official documents that are supposed to be confidential.

I talk to people all the time who tell me they will get in trouble if it gets out that they talked to me. I honor strict confidentiality and will do anything to protect my sources. So, yeah, I do know how to get “inside sources,” “special sources,” etc. I’m trained to do that. I’m sort of an investigative reporter because I specialize stories where a lot of the information is supposed to be secret. I’ve also broken some pretty huge stories that even caught the attention of documentary film makers.

In addition, I founded a brand new political movement, so I am a political activist. At one time this movement had 18,000 members on Facebook groups. It’s a movement with its own carefully thought out political philosophy with position statements, manifestos, etc. A political scientist, a professor at a university in Poland, found out about my movement and wrote a couple of articles about it for political science journals. So it was important enough to get written up in the journals.

Delphi Murders Update March 26, 2021

This post has now been updated. See here for the April 4 update. It’s even crazier than this update!

First, a pitch for support for this website and our sleuthing group:

People are donating lots of money to Delphi podcasters Mike Greeno and Gray Hughes, which is their right. Gray makes over $100,000/year from his podcasts, which is fine by me. I don’t agree that any of these people are grifters as everyone says. A grifter is literally a criminal fraudster and he is breaking the law.

The people paying Hughes and Greeno clearly feel that they are getting their money’s worth. But what shocks me is how little these men give their audiences in return for their purchases. Gray’s videos run to 3-4 hours and may contain five minutes of useful material if you are lucky during that time. Greeno’s videos are almost completely worthless, and group members who have spoken to him told me he has nothing new to add to the case.

Which brings me to the question, why not donate to our enterprise here? It’s a much better purchase for your money than throwing money at Hughes and Greeno, for which you get almost nothing in return. And you won’t by enriching someone who is already wealthy like Hughes. I live on a fixed income which is barely above the poverty level. Our group is clearly the best Delphi sleuthing group on the Internet by far.

Unlike any other sleuthers, we have actually determined the main suspect in the case, and we have a pretty good idea of what happened during the crime and what the crime scene looked like. And most of what we have reported is based on solid sources such as search party members, official case documents, and detectives in other areas of LE that leak to us what they’ve heard via the LE grapevine. No one else has come close to uncovering the amount and quality of information we have, and almost the entire community rejects our findings even though they are correct.

So why waste your money on Hughes and Greeno? Why not donate to the best Delphi sleuthing team of all by donating to me, leader of a group of 230+ sleuthers who have been working on the case for four years now? How about getting your money’s worth?

Support the best Delphi sleuthing group of all!

This post is very long. It runs to 29 pages. I’m sorry but I’m afflicted with both graphomania and logorrhea (same thing). We writers love to write and once we get started, we just can’t quit, like any other addiction to dope, gambling, sex, porn, or whatever. Except you never get the peak high, and there’s no post-high crash. The high continues the whole time, and there’s relief when you’re done as in an accomplished chore instead of a crash. Sort of, “I’m sure glad that’s over.” We love it yet it’s a chore. Kind of like, you know, life.

You just can’t stop. Supposedly writing too much is a sign of a lousy writer, but then we must convict Balzac and Dickens, not to mention encyclopedists like Pynchon and the king of the graphomaniacs, Proust. I’d rather not do that.

It’s not so much the sign of a lousy writer as the sign of a writer, as in a born writer, a real writer. Just as there are men and real men, so there are writers and real writers.

Obviously it’s a flaw. It violates White’s Manual of Style (Keep it simple, stupid) and a lot of other things, including the reader’s precious time. But all great things come with flaws just as there is a bit of good in even most horrors.

Anyway, what do you think editors are for? To mop up our Niagra of words, that’s what.

A bit here on my ever-growing army of critics. I’ve met some new folks lately, and they all say, “You know, I heard all these horrible things about you, but I wasn’t sure if they were true. Now that I contacted you, I know it’s all garbage. You’re like the nicest guy in the world.” Well, yeah. The obvious conclusion of someone who really knows me. Which is like…just about no one.

If you hate me so much, why do you read? I don’t get it. I don’t read people I hate. I might use their prose for toilet paper or lining bird cages, but I certainly won’t read it. I have better things to do, like enjoying life instead of hating it like you do. If you hate me that much, just go away. Don’t read. Unless you’re someone to whom hate is as valuable as oxygen. In that case, do come and get your fix.

One more thing. Nothing the critics ever said about me is true except that I’m broke, don’t have a regular job, and at one point my car broke down and I didn’t have the money to fix it. None of the sexual proclivities or obsessions they say I have are true. I don’t mind people who think that way, but it’s not for me, sorry. Once again, anyone who really knows me figures this out. Which, once again, is like, just about nobody.

How bout one more one more thing, just to try your patience? There’s a lot of graphic commentary below, including gruesome descriptions of the brutal murders of two young teenage girls. True crime is a nasty beast by its nature. There’s no way to pretty up this pig. If your true crime commentary isn’t brutal, you’re avoiding the facts. If you have a sensitive stomach about such things, just don’t read. Go read about flowers or something instead.

Oh, one more two more things. There are are blown up and edited to Hell images below taken from a helicopter hovering over the crime scene. In the images, some can make out the outlines of the two young victims. Not much is visible. They may as well be stick figures. Nevertheless, a lot of tender folks freak out on such things. So don’t look at them. Have a cup of coffee and think of sunshine and smiles instead.

Oh and one more three things. I would like to officially thank “Cory Ahlm” and “Ryan Vanslooten,” whoever the Hell they are, assuming they even exist in the first place, two of my very best friends going so far back I can’t even remember when we first met. They’ve been with me from the start and the start of this case, and I couldn’t have done anything without them. I could barely have existed without them! Speaking of which, I wish I was in California! The weather here is fit for Polar Bears and few else. By the way, I’ve heard of doppelgangers, but who ever thought there could be a double doppelganger? Only in the movies!

This will be a follow-on to my earlier post here. Anything published in the early post that has not changed will not be republished here. Only new items and old items that have changed will be listed here.

First of all, about the purpose of this website. The purpose of this site has simply been a clearinghouse for rumors about the Delphi Murders on Abby Williams and Libby German in Delphi, Indiana, on February 13, 2017. That’s all we ever wrote. It’s true we were fast and loose with some of those rumors, reporting them as truth, and that is unfortunate. But that’s how it goes in this business.

So every time you hear people bashing the Hell out of this site for something we printed, keep in mind that that was just some rumor we heard and printed. That’s all it ever was. Of course, we have been trying to winnow the rumors down into those we have more confidence and less confidence in from the very start, but that’s easier said than done.

I would estimate that 95% of the rumors I have printed about this case have proven to be false. In fact, 95% of anything you have heard about this case anywhere over time is probably false.

I suppose I should go over some of these old dead rumors because idiots keep accusing us of pushing these theories. Now, when I say a rumor is considered dead, not credible, false, not true, etc., please leave me alone and quit accusing me of pushing an old story I’ve long since discredited. I will start with dead rumors or highly dubious rumors. After I do that, I will discuss rumors that have more credibility.

Dead or Highly Dubious Rumors

The barn theory: Has to do with the Mears barn across the street from Ron Logan’s house. We have a photo of cadaver dogs searching the barn. Also there was a small shrine with flowers inside the structure. And the owners acted very strange when we asked if the barn had been used in the crime. The barn theory is continuing to be pushed by a woman who says the girls were removed from the area, taken to the barn, killed there, and then returned to the dump site. Despite all of this, we regard the barn story as dead.

The initial K was carved in trees at the crime scene. We got this secondhand from a LE source. Turns out it was a bad rumor. As you can see, LE sources are not so reliable.

The White Dodge Dart: We formerly thought this had something to do with the crime. Turns out it was a great big dead end, one of many in this case. A white Dodge Dart is not involved in the case.

The crime had Satanic overtones. Indeed, we theorized this in the early days after the crime. In part it was due to bizarre reports from people who saw crime scene photos that the crime appeared to have occult or Satanic overtones. We now feel that this is false. There is no evidence of occult or Satanic overtones to this crime.

A previous report said that Abby was raped via PIV sex and fluids were left at the scene. This rumor is now judged false. The rumor also stated that the motive of the crime was the rape of Abby Williams. This is also false.

A previous report stated that the girls were bound with ropes around their backs. We judge that false. Instead, we believe that they were handcuffed.

A previous report said that the crime scene “begins in the Robertson’s backyard and continues for 1,000 feet.” We regard this as unconfirmed to say the least. Probably best disregarded for now.

A previous report said that at least two searchers touched the bodies and one tried to revive the girls with mouth to mouth resuscitation. We now regard this rumor as probably false and unconfirmed to say the least. There’s no evidence for it at the moment.

A previous report said that the cause of death of Abby Williams was a knife wound to the heart. We now judge this as rumor as false. Instead, we feel, via Leaker, that Abby was struck over the head with a blunt object (we believe it was the killer’s gun). She was also stabbed in the main artery of her neck. It is not known which assault was fatal.

A previous report said that some sort of bleach or toilet bowl cleaner was thrown on the girls’ bodies, in particular their genitalia, in order to destroy DNA evidence of the crime. This is rumor is unconfirmed.

Our POI: We had a sleuthing group with 200 members. I had a POI and I built quite a large case against him. In fact, LE contacted us and asked us to send them everything we had on this man. In addition, the Indiana State Police were verified as harassing this man at one point by repeatedly calling him on the phone. I know the name of the detective who was doing that, too. In addition, this man was a suspect according to the FBI, who tricked him into coming up to Michigan, only to detain and get a DNA sample from him.

As you can see this man was a considered a suspect by both the FBI and the ISP, so please stop accusing us of harassing him. We never published his name one time over the years, and I will not do it now. I won’t even publish his initials. We had a private pay-only group where we discussed him, but that was it. That’s like talking about someone within the confines of a private home. This man also made a series of videos where he seemed to be confessing to being the Bridge Guy (the UNSUB in the murders). In addition, he seemed to be taunting LE and viewers in these videos. Excuse me for suspecting that a guy who making videos almost literally confessing to being BG might actually be the killer!

This man is not a very nice person, but I no longer feel that he had anything to do with this crime. His quasi-confessions go down on the list of false confessions in this case. Counting hazy cases like this, I count four false confessions so far.

I would apologize to him  for falsely accusing him behind closed doors, but he threatened to murder me many times, so I’ll pass on that. In cases like these, possible suspects who seem like good possibilities for being the culprit are often run through the ringer, only to be dismissed. They’re often pretty suspicious people. I’d appreciate it if people would leave this fellow alone. He’s not very pleasant anyway.

Rumors That Have More Credibility

The girls’ bodies were violated with sticks and branches. We have caught Hell and high water for this one, however, this rumor has some staying power.

It showed up quickly within a week of the murders when a local young man published photos of the crime scene that he had somehow obtained. He described the murders as “occult-like” and wondered if there was an occult or Satanic connection. He described a branch plunged into the body of one of the girls.

Next, we received confirmation of this via an associate of a detective working on the case. He had told his SO details about the case, and we got the data from there. This person said the detective had told them that the girls’ bodies were violated with sticks and branches, in particular, that sticks had been inserted into the girls’ vaginas and anuses. That sounds pretty awful but this is one terrible crime.

Finally, a woman came to me and apologized. She said she had been mad at me for spreading this rumor but she had recently been able to confirm its truth via a detective in another area of LE who had seen crime scene photos. This man added that Abby had a branch plunged into her body just below her solar plexus in her chest. So far we have three verfications of this rumor, two from people who saw crime scene photos and two from LE with some overlap. Nevertheless, we still regard this rumor as unconfirmed though definitely possible with the two LE confirmations.

And the more you learn about this crime, believe me, the more you would not be surprised at the cruelty and bizarreness of abusing these girls’ bodies in this way because that seemed to be a major focus on the crime – violating, dishonoring, shaming, and debasing these girls with cruelty and contempt and then posing them in a degrading and humiliating manner. In addition, the killer’s behavior a few hours after the crime was another taunt and a cruel dancing on these girls’ graves after their deaths. This is one Hell of a dark crime.

One girl was pregnant: This has been a rumor from the very first weeks after the crime. The same woman above also apologized for being mad at me over this rumor. However, she told me that she was able to confirm this rumor via a sheriff’s deputy in nearby county. Nevertheless, I suppose it remains formally unverified, and keep in mind some of our LE sources have told us false things. The rumor is that one girl was in the very early stages of pregnancy. We are not going to say which girl it was. Based on the recent verification we got from LE, we regard as it quite possibly true, but it would be nice to get some more confirmation.

A longstanding rumor is that Libby German was killed by a deep knife cut to her neck. This was recently confirmed by a new source named Leaker, who I regard as credible. Apparently his wife accessed documents relating to the case at her job at the courthouse. I have also verified this sad fact via the girl’s own mother who saw the wound. This rumor is 100% confirmed.

A previous report said that Libby was attacked with a gut knife in her abdomen, resulting in a partial disembowelment of this poor girl. If this wound took place, it was after she was dead. A gut knife is one of the knives that would be present in that deer kit (a deer hunter’s kit containing five knives) that BG has around his waist. Partial verification of this is in the form of reports of detectives going around to local hardware stores in the weeks after the murders asking if anyone had bought a gut knife recently.

Presumably one of the wounds to the girl(s) was via this sort of a knife. On the other hand there is a new rumor that a gut knife was left at the scene. This man also lists a number of items the killer left at the scene that stretches credulity. Leaving a gut knife at the scene is unverified and seems quite dubious. A knife with no DNA? That the girl was attacked in this terrible manner is also completely unconfirmed. However, detectives definitely feel that a gut knife was used in this crime.

New Information from Leigh Kerr (Leaker)

Quite a bit of new information came out a few weeks ago via an appearance by a man named Leaker, identified above. He is a pastor who lives in Lafayette. His access to investigation documents is described above. Leaker was extremely controversial, yet for a variety of reasons, I regard him as credible. He gave us a lot of new information, much of which may be correct. Keep in mind that both local LE and FBI have commented on Leaker’s remarks, saying that nothing he said was true. But that is to be expected.

Leaker says that there is a prime suspect in the case. Based on the facts laid out, he can only mean a Delphi resident, recently moved to Monticello, who I will call Mr. X. I could use his initials but that doesn’t seem right. This man is either the prime suspect or Leaker is trying to frame him, one or the other. I think he’s the prime suspect.

According to Leaker, Mr. X was involved in the search party. At some point during the searching, he claimed to have lost his keys. His truck was parked overnight, hidden in the cemetery right above where the girls were found. It was still there the next day when the cemetery was full of police vehicles. This is because Mr. X lost his keys at some point. I believe he claims to have lost his keys while searching. Although Mr. X claims that he called his wife to come bring an extra set of car keys, his truck stayed there overnight and into the next day, which seems odd. On the afternoon after the bodies were found, Mr. X’s truck was towed.

At 6 PM, Mr. X asked permission to search Ron Logan’s land. Permission was granted. This request can be linked to the truck hidden at the cemetery as this is where he obviously was parked when he made this request, however, we do not know when the truck arrived there. Mr. X then searched Logan’s land. Although it was dusk, it would seem to be hard to miss the girls right below where his truck was parked.

Mr. X was back searching in the area on Logan’s land at 12:30 PM February 14. He and 1-3 other persons spotted the girls bodies. There is a rumor that Mr. X looked through his binoculars, spotted a deer, and then looked down and saw the girls. This seems credible to me although some say that LE just made this up as a ruse. The searchers did not come very close to the bodies. Who all found the bodies is still quite up in the air. After he found the bodies, there is a rumor that Mr. X was so traumatized that he ran from the scene. He then needed psychotherapy for some time after discovering the bodies. Both of those behaviors seem pretty over the top, even for such a gruesome crime.

Mr. X is the prime suspect for a variety of reasons. For one, there was a small change in his story.

Leaker said, in shocking news, that Mr. X’s phone was pinging at the abandoned Child Protective Services (CPS) building for several hours around the time of the murders. It is the opinion of LE that the killer parked at the CPS building while he committed his crimes. There vehicle may have been a truck. A persistent yet unconfirmed rumor is that it was a white truck. However, Mr. X’s truck is orange. LE would like very much to speak for anyone who spotted that truck at the CPS building during that time to contact LE. If the truck can be linked to Mr. X, an arrest will be possible.

Mr. X does not have a good excuse for his phone pinging at the CPS building for hours. However, cellphone data is generally not admissible in court, and anyway, Mr. X can always say that he was elsewhere and his phone just happened to be pinging at the CPS building looking for a signal, so this evidence cannot be used in court. However, it is suspicious to say the very least. If Mr. X’s truck was not there the whole time, it is possible that he left his phone at the building for several hours while he committed the crime. That way his phone could not be tracked to the crime scene.

Leaker says that Mr. X had an alibi, a friend of his. This friend says he saw Mr. X elsewhere in town around the time of the murders. LE was unable to break Mr. X’s alibi via his friend. It is considered to be a solid alibi in terms of taking the case to court. Unfortunately, this friend is has since died. This complicates the case immeasurably.

According to Leaker, the only DNA on the girls’ bodies is from Kelsi, Libby’s sister. Kelsi has been cleared. Mr. X’s DNA is in the area, but he was part of the search team that discovered the bodies, so it’s not usable. Assuming he did it, see how he contaminated the scene by finding the bodies?

Leaker also said that there were religious aspects to the murders. Although the exact nature of these aspects is unknown, a rumor that a crucifix was left at the site seems credible.

Leaker also said that the girls’ bodies were posed in a sexual tableau. This seems to be correct. More on that below.

A previous report said that the killer took photos or video of the crime and sent it to Abby’s phone after the murders. This is correct, and I have additional evidence that will prove this.

A previous report noted, in stunning news, that the killer had known Libby for 3-4 months before the murders via social media. According to Leaker, this is correct. The killer contacted Libby on social media using the “catfish” of a young man aged 19. Libby had gotten smitten with this young man and wanted to meet him. The catfish appears to have been the killer himself. Leaker says the second sketch is a sketch of the catfish photo that the killer used to lure Libby on Snapchat where she was catfished. One of Libby’s friends had seen a photo of the catfish, and her description of it is what the second sketch is based on.

At the start of this case, LE said “be careful of what your kids are doing on social media.” The usual idiots who have swarmed this case from Day One have insisted all this time that that means nothing. However, we have been reporting for some time on here that the girls may have been catfished via social media. In fact, we were ripped up pretty severely for promoting that theory. As with so many aspects of this case, a number of the “wild, outrageous, and offensive stories” we were reporting on here from the start are turning out to be true. It’s no surprise to me. I’m a professional journalist. I have a BA in Journalism. I worked as an assistant editor of a magazine. This is one of my professions.

According to Leaker, LE feels that Libby may have posted on Snapchat that she was going to the bridge that day. We reported in a previous post that the trip was not a last minute decision, and instead, adults were discussing it in local bars on Friday night. We have been saying all along that the killer must have known the girls were going to be there that day, and he came quite amply prepared to commit this specific crime. The crime may have been plotted for four months prior to carrying it out. You can see how BG was loaded up with all that murder equipment. He’d obviously planned this out in advance.

Of course, we have been bashed for this too, and an absolutely insane theory that fails all logic tests that the killer came to the bridge that day looking to kill any victim that he might happen to spot there has been suggested in its stead. This theory fails so badly on logic alone that it’s amazing how much traction it got.

Too many people on this case seem to be afflicted with a disorder called Pathological Doubting Disorder. They have pathologically doubted everything and anything that anyone ever said about this crime. They beat their fists on the table endlessly that only verified information, not rumors, must be discussed. The problem here is that LE hasn’t told us a damned thing. If we were restricted to merely discussing what has been verified by LE, there’d be nothing to talk about. We’d all be sitting around talking about the weather instead.

Leaker also said that if the catfish can be connected to Mr. X, an arrest will be possible.

However, this will be hard to do. All attempts to find the killer’s IP addresses or texts or photos of the catfish on Snapchat have come up empty for whatever reason.

According to Leaker, Mr. X has completely cooperated with the investigation. At the time of the crime, Mr. X lived two miles from the crime scene.

Leaker also said that the crime was committed in a ravine that is hard to see from most angles. It may also be sheltered sound-wise too.

Leaker said there is more audio on Libby’s phone, but it is so garbled and hard to hear that LE did not feel it would be useful to the general public. However, Leaker said that LE cleaned the audio up and transcribed it as best as they could. BG accosted the girls and appears to have pulled his gun on them.

In brand new information, apparently one of the trail cams at the south end of the bridge where the abduction took place had been disabled. LE feels it was disabled prior to the crime. So BG came to the south end of the bridge before the crime occurred and disabled the camera. Once again, we see forward planning for this crime.

According to Leaker, after BG accosted the girls, he said he was a police officer and they were trespassing on private property (they were not). He said he had spotted them with his binoculars and had come to arrest them. I can now confirm that BG did have binoculars. BG then handcuffed the girls and said, “Down the hill.” The girls pleaded with him to let them go, that they are sorry and they won’t do it again, etc. but he told them they are under arrest.

Jesus Christ, this case is sad! Just thinking about that scenario with those girls pleading to be let go breaks my heart!

At the bottom of the hill, Libby’s shoe was found by searchers. To me this implies that she tried to run. How else does she lose her shoe?

What follows, according to the families of the girls who LE played the tape for, is six minutes of garbled conversation in which the girls and BG are talking as they walk through the woods, the sound of the forest floor crunching beneath their feet. At the six minute mark, BG and the girls can be heard starting to cross the creek, so the girls were definitely walked across the creek. This has been an odd source of contention. At that point, LE shut off the tape.

Leaker says that the audio continues after the girls crossed the creek and were marched to the kill zone, which appears to have been selected and prepared beforehand due to its visual and auditory seclusion. Next you hear a loud scream followed by a loud thump. This is apparently poor Abby screaming. The thump sound is thought to be BG hitting her over the head with a blunt object. We believe he hit her with the butt end of the handgun you can see in his right hand pocket of his jacket on the BG video. Abby may well have been knocked out cold by this blow.

Leaker concurred that Libby died via a deep knife wound to the throat. He also said that the murder weapon was a hunting knife.

I Was Able to Obtain Official Document(s) Relating to the Case!

And now I can release brand new information! I was able to obtain anywhere from 1-10 documents from the investigation. I am making the claim vague in this way because I have to protect the person I got this data from. They very much do not want it getting out that they were given these document(s). So I have to cover my tracks pretty well here because I don’t want to reveal my sources.

I’m an educated and trained journalist. One of the things we learned in J-school is that you have to protect your sources and value their confidentiality at all costs. We are supposed to go to jail instead of revealing our sources, and some of us have.

Therefore it is disconcerting to see constant accusations of me making up rumors or theories about this crime out of whole cloth. I can’t do that. That’s a gross violation of journalistic ethics, and I’m an ethical journalist. I’m not talking about beating around the bushes of masking facts and truths as I did above with the documents statement. Journalists have lost their careers over doing that, and good luck getting hired again afterwards. It’s as bad as scientific misconduct is for a scientist.

Obviously I’ve been dying to get a hold of official documents about this case for four years now. We did briefly have contacts with a few LE sources, but they didn’t tell us a lot. We had maybe one LE source every two years on this case. So we don’t have any “special sources” about this case as my critics claim. What special sources? What are they talking about?

I assure you that it’s completely legal for the possessor of these document(s) to possess them. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

The document(s) came to me from the owner who lawfully possessed them..

The document(s) came from either LE or from the judicial system or possibly both at the same time. They are signed by official(s).

I was able to learn a number of things about this case from these document(s), some that have been released before, but others that have never been released or even rumored anywhere. I am absolutely certain of the truth of everything I write below based on my belief that these document(s) are authentic.

BG discharged a gun in the course of this crime. Perhaps the most amazing information of all is that this was a gun crime! The gun used was no doubt the one that can be seen in the right jacked pocket of BG. It’s a handgun. After the “guys” in the video, he apparently pulled his gun out and pointed it at the girls. He controlled them with the gun. We have assumed that from the very start of this case. But we never had any idea that a gun was fired during this crime!

We don’t know how the gun was used. We only know that it was discharged. Where, how, and why we don’t know. However, spent cartridges were found by LE, who says they were fired by BG. Did he fire them into the girls’ dead bodies? No idea. How does LE they know that the spent cartridges they found were fired by BG? No idea. But they do have spent cartridges from this crime and they are trying to find the gun used to fire them in order to do ballistics tests on it.

Leaker said that BG had binoculars. He told the girls when he accosted them that he had spotted them trespassing through his binoculars and he decided to come and arrest them. I can now verify Leaker’s statement because the document mentions binoculars. LE is looking for binoculars that were used in the crime.

There is more shocking information that was touched on earlier. I mentioned above that there was a rumor that BG had taken photos and video and had sent them to Abby’s phone after the crime. This rumor was affirmed by Leaker. However, I can now prove this is true because LE is looking for photos, videos, film, cameras, and/or videocameras. Any of those. Video were recorded by BG as he committed this crime. So he videotaped his crime as he committed it. Some people say they can see a Go Pro on BG’s person. We are uncertain about this.

Now how could LE possibly know that BG took video of his crime as he committed it? They can’t. But if he sent some of this video to Abby’s phone after the crime took place, then they know he shot video of the crime. Therefore the rumor that BG sent photos of the crime to Abby’s phone seems to be true.

In addition, the document says that BG recorded 43 seconds of audio, presumably of the crime. No doubt this goes with the video that was shot, the video being of unknown length. We know this because in the documents, LE says they are looking for 43 seconds of audio.

LE is also looking for knives, presumably hunting knives as Leaker averred. The murder weapon in the case was a knife. This was not a gun crime in that a gun was not the murder weapon. That’s not to say the gun was not discharged into the victim(s) after they were deceased. Perhaps it was. We have no idea. But if that was the case, then this is still not a gun crime as the gun was not a homicide weapon. Then all BG is guilty of regarding shooting the gun would be mutilating a corpse.

LE is also looking for blood-soaked clothing. LE feels that this crime was so brutal (in particular the killing of Libby) that BG must have been covered in blood after he murdered that poor girl. The blood spray from such an attack would be serious. So LE is looking for the clothing he wore that day with bloodstains “seen and unseen.” I don’t understand the part about unseen bloodstains, but apparently when you get blood on your clothes, not all of it is visible and some can only be seen with special tools. Ever watched crime shows where they put a chemical on the crime scene that shows bloodstains as bright purple? I suppose they use that to uncover those unseen bloodstains.

Perhaps the most incredible fact in the document is LE stating that BG abducted the girls at precisely 2:13 PM. Why is this important? On what day did this crime occur? On February 13, or 2-13. 2:13 and 2/13. Matches up, get it? Let’s play with this a bit more. He abducted and murdered 2 girls, one of whom was 13 years old. 2-13 again. 2:13, 2/13, and 2-13.

A physician friend of mine who might as well be Dr. Spock, such is his dedication to pure logic, has cast doubt on this connection. He immediately stated, “Coincidence!” (natch) when I told him about the two 2-13’s lining up perfectly.

However, LE thinks these two 2-13’s lining up perfectly was a significant enough event to be mentioned in their documents about the case. So LE thinks that fact that BG abducted those girls at precisely 2:13 in the afternoon is no coincidence.

This is all I have from these document(s). Make of it what you will. Keep in mind that these document(s) went through different people before the came to me.

Owner -> Professional -> Fellow sleuther -> Me.

There are two people between the owner and me. What do I have? I have a photocopy of the document. Could it be faked or forged? Maybe, but the professional would not do something like that. He’s as bound by his professional ethics as I am with mine.

Crime Scene Photos

I was also able to obtain some good crime scene photos for the first time. These have been out for six months now, having first appeared on Youtube in a video. They are from the same media helicopter footage as the crime scene photos we previously released here. They were presumably taken from the part of the footage where you can see many flashes going off in a circle around a location in the woods. Obviously CSI guys photographing the crime scene. These photos have been blown up and enhanced to Hell and back by everyone and their uncle. However, the photos I will discuss today are from this video.

The author is a theoretical physicist. Not that that means much, as kooks roam all fields, and kookery doesn’t discriminate, but I do think that adds weight to his analysis. Talk about logicians. We are talking about field like math where everything you say has to be backed up by formal proof. A fasifiability is a thing, and “not even wrong” is on the tip of everyone’s tongue.

The author claims a number of startling things in this video.

Outlines of the bodies of the two victims. I’ll vouch for that one.

A crucifix. Don’t see it.

A gigantic stuffed animal. No way. I can’t believe how many people believe this. Let’s not even get into the crazy discussion of this stupid stuffed animal and the dolls. That said, many things are possible in true crime, and this is one of them. I’m just not seeing it though. Extraordinary claims and extraordinary evidence and all that. God I hate that phrase but there’s a time and place for all things.

Dolls scattered around the scene. Nigga please.

An abandoned bleach bottle. Gong!

Abandoned clothing, in particular a girl’s top. Nah.

Weird messages scrawled all over the scene. I concur that one may be possible, but the rest I can’t see at all.

CSI guys wandering the scene. Nothing but blurs.

Keep in mind that for the above to be true, BG must have constructed this entire Disney World Crime Scene in a mere 45 minutes! Either he has superhuman powers or it didn’t happen. Occam’s forces me to choose the latter. How did he get all these animals and dolls down the crime scene? Come on. This crime’s weird enough as it is without taking things to outright science fiction.

Keep in mind that a lot of people claim they can’t see a damned thing in these photos, including the victims’ bodies, or that they were looking at pixels and graphics software playing games with us. Pareidolia. I hate that word, favorite of scientistic skeptards. But time and place, etc. Even the most abused notions have a proper application.

Leaker said that the girls were “posed in a sexual tableau.” That’s interesting except no one knows what it means.

John Kelly, retired FBI profiler who does excellent work and now makes his living being a media figure, felt in this recent video that the sexual tableau referred to the girls being posed in some sort of a lesbian sex act. He also suggested that BG had a deep obsession with lesbian pornography and that people around him would be aware of this. Assuming the photos below are valid interpretations, the girls are not posed in any obvious lesbian sex act. Perhaps they are posed in a milder, less than obvious one. As you can see, Abby’s hand is close to a “certain part” of Libby’s body. Whether that counts or not I have no idea.

However, assuming the images below are correct, both girls’ legs were spread very wide after they were killed. Libby was nude and Abby was nude from the waist down. That counts as sexual tableau. He did this to humiliate the girls after their deaths. One last Parthian Thrust before he walked away into the woods history. This is the posing part.

I agree with Kelly who says that killers who pose victims (“posers”) are some of the worst ones of all. They’re dark as Hell and they’re at the far end of the psychopathic spectrum. He also said that if he’s a poser, he should have killed again by now because these guys can’t control themselves, a reflection of their extreme pathology. He said that the only reason he hasn’t killed by now is because he’s afraid. Afraid that they’re onto him. Afraid of getting caught. Afraid of that one last knock on the door before the jail bars clang shut.

I have more to say about this crime as usual, but I’ve gone on long enough. More later.

I would like to apologize for the fact that these photos are very small. See if you can enlarge them. I don’t know how to fix this right now.

 

RL, LL = Right leg, left leg. This shows the right and left legs of Libby. Her legs are spread wide. Abby’s were too, as we will see below.

 

Closeup of the victims. Libby is easier to see than Abby.

 

Enhanced. Libby on the left, Abby on the right. The figures show up better in this photo. The green object appears to be a knife lodged into Libby’s right shoulder! Whether that’s what is, I’m not sure, but it’s a good guess.

 

Closeup of Libby, showing her head, hair, the knife in the shoulder, and her chest. She may be wearing a bra?

 

The first caption points to the chest of Victim 1, Libby. The second caption points to the stupid stuffed bear I don’t believe in.

 

The yellow dots show Libby. The top one is at her head and the bottom one is to her left of her stomach. The teal dots show Abby. The top one is above her head and the bottom to the right of her stomach. The red dots are the life-sized stuffed bear I don’t believe in.

 

I could not see Abby’s body for a long time, but I can see it here circled in green. Her arms and legs are spreadeagled.

 

Outlines of both victims circled. Abby in green and Libby in blue.

 

Supposedly shows the words “R U Up?” or “Are you up?” I don’t know if that’s what it shows, but it’s possible.

 

“R U UP?” Again.

 

For those of you who enjoy divining runes, here’s your oyster. “R U UP?” Again.

Alt Left: Stupidity about “Sex Trafficking”

This term has been grotesquely abused lately, starting with feminists, who equate all prostitution with “trafficking” and then the federal government, which passed a rather silly law 5-10 years against “sex trafficking.” Increasingly what you are seeing in the media is a complete conflation of  prostitution and “sex trafficking.”

In particular, anyone pimping minor females is said to be “trafficking” no matter whether there is any coercion at all. Trafficking was originally supposed to mean women who were being essentially enslaved, kept prisoner, held against their will, and forced to prostitute themselves for others. Basically sex slaves. There are a lot of forms of this coerced and imprisoned sort of prostitution in  the world, and it is an ugly thing to be sure!

But that silly federal law conflated that with any prostitution of minors. So “sex trafficking” is not just sex slavery but it’s also prostituting of minors. Which seems a bit silly. How are minors being “trafficked” if they are not being held against their will? It’s ridiculous. The crime should be something like Prostituting a Minor, along those lines. Perhaps that’s a serious offense, I have no idea. But it sure isn’t “trafficking.”

Increasingly I have seen articles, many coming out of Texas, about big roundups of “sex traffickers.” They were rounding up 50-60 men at once and the guys looked pretty ordinary. That’s an awful lot of “traffickers” to round up at once. When they do round these guys up, they usually only catch a few at a time as they are hard to catch and not particularly common anyway. So I did some research. It turned out that of those 60 men, only one of them actually trafficked in prostitutes, and even he was just prostituting minors. I have no idea if coercion or imprisonment was involved. The other 59 men were guilty of…get this: buying a teenage prostitute!

Look I’m not saying that buying an underage prostitute should be legal. But you should have to prove that he knew that she was underage or by her appearance, she could not possibly have been 18. The bizarre thing about these laws is that in many states, it is perfectly legal for any adult man to have sex with a 16-17 year old girl as long as he does it for free and doesn’t pay her. The minute he gives her some money for her treasures, it’s a crime!

Even knowingly buying an underage prostitute is not “trafficking” in any way, shape, or form. It’s a crime called “Buying a Minor Prostitute.” How in the Hell is buying a whore “trafficking?” It’s absurd.

To tell the truth, many prostitutes with pimps may be being trafficked. That’s because many pimps won’t let the girls in their stables free. They threaten to hunt them down, beat them up, or kill them if they run away from the pimp. Any prostitute in a situation like that with her pimp is indeed being trafficked.

Now buying a teenage prostitute is an odd crime. Minors are not allowed to legally prostitute themselves, but many do it anyway. And 50% of minor female prostitutes are Black. Blacks are only 13% of the population. So there’s massive over-representation of Black teenage girls in minor prostitution. Quite a few of those girls probably have psychopathic tendencies too, or will develop into psychopaths when they are adults because we are not supposed to diagnose psychopathy or any other  personality disorder in minors. Fully 45% of adult female prostitutes are psychopaths. Newsflash: whores aren’t very nice women. They not even very nice people.

A lot of them are simply criminals and ripoffs and all sorts of petty thievery and female prostitution go hand and hand. In my opinion, a prostitute and a thief are the same thing. This is what the female psychopath becomes: Histrionic Personality Disorder, the “Mata Hari” or “femme fatale” disorder. Basically what I would call a thieving whore. Many female strippers, porn stars and other sex workers are also female psychopaths or have high scores on the PCL.

Many male porn stars are the same. This was observed as far back as the 1970’s and 80’s. If you look at those old porn movies, look at how mean and evil so many of those male porn stars are. And look at how crass, loud, brassy, and cold the women are. That’s the typical whore personality: hard, cold, brassy, callous, cynical. It looks like a damaged woman. Their emotions look shut down and they’ve gone hard.

Even the Worst People on Earth May Have a Bit of a Moral Compass

Rambo: From the very beginning of the Delphi case, a lot of people had sneaking suspicions that there was a better than average chance that the person or persons involved in this knew beforehand that the day of the crimes would be a school off-day for the girls. A lot of people’s first thought was someone connected with the girls’ school.

Yes, of course. It’s worse than that. He actually stalked Libby for four months beforehand. And the idea that this was a last minute decision has been proven wrong. The girls were discussing it as early as Friday because people who knew the girls were talking about their upcoming trip in local bars that night. And it looks like Libby posted on her Instagram at some point that she was going to the bridge.

I suppose he must have known Abby was going to be there too, so he may have targeted her in a sense too. Instagram is the site that he was catfishing Libby on with that young man’s photo.

This whole idea that he went to that crowded bridge that afternoon with his full-blown murder kit just to haphazardly see if he could find female or two to kill is insane. Others say he was just there to kill anyone, even a man. That’s even more insane. Further, I’m wondering if he’s into killing women. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. He’s not a pedophile, but he could be a hebephile, a very common sexual orientation. After all, 26% of all men could be classified as hebephiles or pedophiles!

13 and 14 is a bit young to be targeting females, but a number of serials have killed young teenage girls and women too because after all, teenage girls look like women! Face facts. Ted Bundy killed a 12 year old girl, but 12 year old girls are on the cusp of puberty and while they don’t look like women, they look enough like women that a lot of men are starting to find them “interesting.”

I believe Bundy also killed an 8 year old girl when he was 14, but he would never admit to that. He even implied in interviews that he had done some things that he would never admit to. Even for Ted Bundy, killing a little 8 year old girl was too low. Maybe not too low but just shameful. Bundy was a narcissist, a malignant narcissist. Perhaps he thought it was shameful to his reputation as the Greatest Serial Killer of All Time if he would admit to killing a little girl. It was a bridge too far.

This is fascinating because it implies that even the worst people of all think there are some things that are just beyond the pale.

Hitler was appalled by the mistreatment of animals. I guess he thought Jews and Slavs were below animals. And one of the worst Nazis of all, Goebbels, has a bit of a moral compass. In the early days of the Holocaust, they were just lining Jews up and shooting them with firing squads. Goebbels witnessed one of these shootings and he completely freaked out. He broke down in front of everyone, started crying, just carried on. And he decreed that there was to be no more of this or they needed to get away from that as quickly as possible.

The next step was not the gas chambers as everyone thinks. Instead it was “gas vans.” Jews were killed in these vans for a while before the Final Solution was agreed upon at the Wansee Conference in 1942 and they moved to the chambers in the name of efficiency but also because they wanted to kill people in as sterile of clean way as possible, in an almost antiseptic was hidden way the same way your cat is kindly quickly, efficiently and cruelly when it is taken to the vet for the last time.

Murder is murder but when you do it as cleanly as possible, it’s easier to rationalize it. If you murder in a cold and cruel way, it seems horrible as disgust sets in and it seems like you really did kill them. If you do it clean, in your mind you can make it seem that you didn’t really “kill” them in the same way as if you chopped them to pieces. Of course it makes no sense, but we are emotional creatures so we are not purely logical and our conscious and especially subconscious mind is “irrational” that can only be understood if we are using “emotional logic” instead of “pure logic” or the logic of Spock on Star Trek.

So they went to the gas chambers. But at first they were not burning the bodies. They were burying them in mass graves, especially at a few little known camps that were truly extermination camps such as Sobibor and Theresienstat.  All of these were in Poland. It is odd that Auschwitz is more famous than these extermination camps while Auschwitz was less exterminationist than these others. 15% of the inmates at Auschwitz survived.

After all, it was first and foremost a labor camp.  It sounds awful that 85% of them were killed of course, but at some of those Polish extermination camps it was even worse. There was one that killed 900,000 people. There were perhaps 30 survivors who ran for it into the local woods at the very end as the Allies were closing in. Even most of these escapees were killed. Only .0003 percent survived. 15% is a Hell of a lot more than .0003%.

Anyway, Goebbels was at one of those extermination camps and he saw the mass graves where they had buried maybe 10,000’s on inmates. It had been raining and the bloating from the decaying corpses was so extreme owing to the rain and sheer number of the dead that the ground beneath them was literally rising up and falling as they were standing on it. The Earth was alive but in a terrible way.

Once again, Goebbels completely flipped out, got hysterical, started yelling and crying and said no more mass graves. This is how the ovens were added to the gas chambers. To eliminate dead bodies in a more efficient and especially less disgusting way. Once again if you put them in ovens, you can almost rationalize it away. All that’s left are ashes and it’s hard to see those are former humans. Your mind can always tell you, “Oh those are just ashes, that’s all. Not formerly human corpses.” Again this is not logical, but according to emotional logic, it makes complete sense.

It’s interesting that three of the most evil men of the 20th Century actually had a moral compass. A very tiny and meager one for sure, but some things were beyond the pale even for them. One wonders if there has ever been a human with no moral compass at all if one such a human is even possible. Even wild animals have moral compasses. A female mountain lion won’t kill her cubs. A male mountain lion won’t kill his mate.

It’s also interesting that if the kill people and get rid of bodies in as cold, efficient, sterile and maybe democratic way as possible, the mind can rationalize that you’re not “really” killing people and disappearing bodies.

The Sexual Sadist

In the Delphi Murders case, one of the early suspects who has since been completely cleared was rumored to like to drink and beat women when he had sex with them. Reportedly he beat one woman so badly that she had to go to the hospital. In the Karenna McClerkin disappearance in the same area of Indiana, one of the suspects is a Black firefighter who reportedly likes to beat his women when he has sex with them.

Although this behavior sounds horrific, it’s more common than one thinks. And even more bizarrely, there a quite a few women who actually like to get treated like this. Yep, they actually like guys to beat them up when they have sex with them. I’d like to avoid women like this as much as I can in life, although I once had a girlfriend like this who wanted me to inflict pain on her, like squeezing her nipples very hard. It didn’t do anything for me and I didn’t understand how this was supposed to be exciting. It just seemed sick to me.

Of course all of us men have a sadist buried inside of us from boyhood days. Not a sexual sadist because boys have no sex drive but a sadist, of course. It’s the natural state of the Boy in Nature. Nevertheless part of the process of honing a steel boy from the brittle iron of primitive mammalian boyhood via the fire of the cruel bootcamp that is involved in minting boys from men is to progressively stomp out this primitive mammalian sadist in the boy. It gets drummed into our heads as we move through boyhood more and more that this sort of thing is not acceptable in a man.

Young men still have a lot of sadism in them. This is part of the reason why they’re such assholes, and I say this as a former ill-behaved young man myself. As a man moves beyond 30, even this casual sort of social sadism, often written out as a male bonding practice via ribbing, teasing, etc. becomes increasingly “uncool.” At my age, late middle age, you’re just not supposed to act like this. Ever. With any man. No matter what. It seen as “uncool” and immature behavior.

Besides, it marks you as a huge dick. Feminists think we are monsters and a lot of red-pilled men agree with them. This isn’t really true but in the redpilled areas of the Manosphere range where the more toxic forms of masculinity play, you see quite a bit of it there tool. I find it ugly. I don’t like to fight with guys. I don’t even like to compete with them. I’m a Sigma Male. I don’t even have to compete. I look out and other men and think, “Competition? You call that competition LOL?” and never think of it anymore.

Anyway, the feminists need to know that it’s perfectly acceptable to be a real nice guy even in Man World, the world of masculine heterosexual men. You don’t have to be a dick. Honest.

Back to sexual sadism. Sadly there are probably lots of guys who like to beat and hurt women during sex, and just because some guy is screwed up like that doesn’t make him a murderer. And most guys like that probably never kill. They can definitely hurt women pretty badly though, that’s for sure.

The problem is it’s a bit hard to beat someone up “just a little bit.” Once you start beating people up, it tends to get out of hand pretty quickly.

Also this type, the sexual sadist, tends to get more excited as he hurts people, and hence he might feel his behavior escalating during the act. The disorder called sexual sadism tends to worsen with time, and it’s not unusual for these people, almost always men, to show up in therapist’s offices as their sexual sadism escalates concerned that the last time they did it they felt themselves escalating and had to stop themselves. They show up afraid they may kill someone next.

This disorder, like many mental disorders (at least to a point), tends to be progressive and worsen with time, at least without treatment. I’m not sure why that is but if I’ve learned one thing in life it’s that bad things tend to worsen, not get better, over time. Whether this is due to life sucking in general, Pynchonian entropy, the Spenglerian life process itself, or simply God being a Sadean sonofabitch is not known.

I recall a woman on the Net had some sick fetish where she wanted men to pretend to murder her during sex. So she had this sort of sex with ~10 different guys, and she said in a lot of the cases, the men got more and more excited as it escalated, and a number of the men said they had to stop themselves or they would have killed her.

These men may not have ever been full-blown sexual sadists. It’s simply true that sadistic violence tends to cause excitement in the male as the violence unfolds. As the excitement goes up, so does the violence in tandem. The end result can be seen in the crime pages of big papers every morning. You remember that feeling as a boy when you got more excited as your psychological or physical sadism progressed against your victim.

This type of sexual paraphilia is rather dangerous. Most never kill but it’s like handing someone a stick of dynamite and telling them to play with it.

A lot of people like to play around the edges with this sort of thing in sex, but they’re not seriously wrapped up in it as in the BD/SM lifestyle, which I regard as completely sick in its full-blown manifestation.

As long as it’s just a game that confines itself to the bedroom, it’s seems to be ok.

But in my opinion most serious sexual sadists and even sexual masochists are not very healthy people, and I’ve been studying this from a rather appalled distance for some time now. Women who come out of relationships with sexual sadists often appear damaged, and the damage often looks like a battered woman. The relationships themselves, when viewed from a distance, look precisely like the abusive male-female relationships you hear so much about, albeit in these cases, these precisely same relationships are completely consensual on the part of the woman.

It’s always consensual on the man’s part. He’s the one dishing it out after all. Most people who dish out abuse are quite happy to do so and guilt is not commonly experienced because the man most likely to feel guilt is the least likely to be abusive. As usual, the worst men feel the best and the best men feel the worse, and this applies to women too.

I’m not sure if there’s any safe or healthy way to do this crap. And in case you’re wondering, not that it matters, but this is not exactly my bag. I like to like and love the women I’m with, not hate them. But I’ve studied serial killers forever and this is a major part of their pathology. Also I work in mental health and a lot of the people I work with are dealing with antisocial thoughts – molesting children, committing homicide, etc. I specialize in this stuff.

Alt Left: “Child Molester” and “Pedophile” Are Not Synonyms

~75% of child molesters are non-pedophilic molesters. They’re no more pedophiles than any other man. This shows again that there is a difference between the terms pedophile and child molester. Most of this molesting tends to be in the family whereas pedophilic molesters tend to molest outside the family, in part because they often have no children of their own.

There is nothing wrong with these non-pedophilic molesters sexually and probably even psychologically – their sexual interests are quite ordinary. They are “normal” in the way that most criminals are “normal” – that is, they are not the slightest bit crazy. The fact that criminals in general are not crazy and in fact are often remarkably sane is in part what makes them so dangerous. If they were crazy we could protect ourselves from them better. The fact that they are so sane is what enables them to get away with their crimes and also makes them hard to catch.

Rather these are simply bad men who are opportunistic and will have sex with females in general – women, children, no matter. A female relative or child is also a very easy target for these very manipulative men. In some cases it is an alternative if the wife has cut off the sex. The best description of these men is that they are simply criminals. They are users and their behavior is part of a pattern of control and abuse, often combined with verbal and physical abuse.

It is hard to say how girls how girls are effected, for it is mostly girls who are effected by intrafamilial child molesting in part because most gay men do not have children nor do they have access to them. Most molesting of boys does not occur in the family, and in fact such molesting is not very common.

Instead most boys are molested by homosexual pedophiles. And of course there are homosexual pedophiles  – the woke crowd claims that homosexuals and pedophiles cannot be one and the same and yet they can.

They tell this lie because sadly gay men do have a pretty high rate of child molesting, mostly probably of the pedophilic variety.

A logical explanation for this is that both homosexuality and pedophilia are probably developmental disorders, as is biological transsexualism. Something goes wrong developmentally with the fetus in the womb, hormonally in the case of male homosexuality and biological transsexualism but due to unknown factors in the case of pedophilia. It would stand to reason that developmental disorders might tend to overlap due to a common cause.

Pedophilia may be caused by subtle brain damage. Neurological soft signs – typically evidence of subtle brain damage – are very common in pedophiles. Furthermore, pedophiles tend to have lower IQ’s than non-pedophiles, once again suggestive of mild brain damage. 

In some ways it is worse if your own father is doing it to you. Nevertheless, most seem to get over it with time. The behavior of non-pedophilic molesters is outside the purview of mental health because we just talk about whether behavior or persons are crazy or not. And these men are not crazy. They’re just bad. We are talking about matters of morality and law, not matters of psychology and psychiatry.

There is often significant Cluster B Axis 2 Personality Disorder pathology as is the case with most men who use and abuse others. These men are fairly easy to rehabilitate absent significant psychopathy because significant guilt is not uncommon, and they are not pedophilic, so they can easily fulfill their sexual needs without resorting to children. Probably in India, Morocco and most of the Third World, most molesting is by non-pedophilic molesters because pedophilia proper is not well known in these places, and most men, even gay men, tend to marry and have children due to societal pressure.

Alt Left: Trans Identity Politics: Dialogue with a Tranny

– Hey there, he-she’s, what’s up?

– Well, for starters, you can quit implying we’re confused. We’re not baffled at all. We just can’t figure out which of the two sexes we are. It’s so hard to figure out, you know? Have some sympathy. Mental illness is a bitch. How’d you like to be a crazy tranny like me?

– Ok, well, I keep forgetting. Sometimes I think you’re a dude. Sometimes I think you’re a chick. Other times I want to say the Hell with it and call you an amoeba.

– Stop the misgendering! You’re giving me a breakdown! I’m going to use this knife to cut my arm some more, and after that, I’ll have to check into the mental hospital again!

– Shoot, I’m sorry. Can I just call you “they” and “them?”

– Damn right you can, cis scum!

– Ok, ok, calm down. But as a friend, really. Don’t you think you ought to treat this raging mental illness? The Hell with stigma. Don’t be afraid to seek help! Life’s not easy for any of us. Hell, I’m half nuts myself just like everybody else.

– Fuck your transphobic ass! I’m not crazy, dammit!

– Ok, ok, ok. But why do you have more DSM disorders than anyone I know? Why do you spend half your time in the hospital in a straightjacket.

– I’m fine, dammit. It’s you cis fucks being mean to me. That’s why I’m a basket-case. It’s all your fault.

– Ok, ok. Maybe you’re not nuts at all. Maybe you’re just eccentric. Maybe, maybe, just maybe they’re all crazy, and you’re the only sane one!

– Damn right, cis-boy. It’s a choice. We all choose our gender. One of my friends picked “giraffe” for his gender. Isn’t that cute? I hope he doesn’t break his neck. You know how he loves the taste of tree leaves.

– Whoa, wait. I can dig four genders. Guys, chicks, chicks who think they’re guys, and guys who think they’re chicks. They seem like they have a psychotic delusion but actually they don’t. They were born males but they really are females because they got a tit job and put on some makeup. It’s easy to be a girl. Just grab the nearest dress and a tube of lipstick and you’re on your way, my friend! Watch out for the monthlies, though? Whoa! Guys who think they’re chicks get PMS too.

– Damn right we do. Men get menstrual cramps. See? Both words have “men” in them? Hint hint.

– Ok, man whatever. The world is a strange place. I just saw a ghost whisk by you as a matter of fact. So there are four sexes, I can dig it.

– Nope! What are you, a male TERF?

– Huh? I’m still not doing good enough? I’m sorry, sir. How can I better a better servant to your Devianthood?

– Well, first of all, you can get rid of this idea of sexes in the first place. Sexes don’t exist. They just seem to, but it’s an illusion because we’re all gigantic amoebas on two legs!

– Whoa! I always knew I was pond scum, but I never knew it was this bad.

– It is. There are no boys or men! We’re all sissies. Not quite. You’re penis-havers! Even some women have dicks, so they’re one of the boys too! And there are women who are basically dudes with vaginas, hairy backs, clits as big as porn cocks, and boyish good looks.

– Whew. Well, ok, I’m a penis-haver. Not a bad identity. Hell, I do most of my thinking with my Lower Head anyway. The Top Head’s not good for much more than overthinking and forgetting social rules, so it’s more of a liability. Too many brain cells is a bad thing! Most people hardly have any, so if you have as much grey matter as Einstein, you really stick out.

– I’m sure you get a lot of dates, bookworm. No, really, girls like pencil-necked geeks named Poindexter!

– Ok, cool, so Man World is really Penis Haver’s World. Let the dick-measuring begin! I’m almost seven inches anyway, so I’ll beat 85% of these smalldicks. But what about the womyn?

– No such thing. Even Miss Lindsay Graham’s not really a broad!

– Damn. Really? He’s more girly than Scarlet O’Hara.

– So what? Everyone’s kinda genderqueer anyway. We’re all somewhere in the middle with the femboys and the traps and the studs and the dykes! So there’s no such thing as womyn, same as no such thing as men. There are dick-havers, and, yep, there are vagina-havers. Vagina-havers can get pregnant, whether they are “men” or “women.” Of course men can get pregnant! Transmen get knocked up all the time! Get with it. You’re an old fogey.

– Wow, this is confusing.

Alt Left: We All Have Our Crosses We Bear: The Tragic Life of the Transsexual

We All Have Our Crosses We Bear: The Tragic Life of the Transsexual

First off, I don’t hate transsexuals. I feel terribly sorry for them. They’re crazy. I work in mental health. I don’t hate crazy people. Hell, I deal with them all the time. How can I hate my clients? I’m half nuts myself anyway.

I’ve talked to a few transsexuals.

The Transmen

I talked to some transmen. One admitted that she had made a mistake. She wanted to date me but she lived too far away. She had the body of a woman, curvy with nice tits, hairless. I asked about the hairlessness and she told me she shaved a lot. Then I saw her face.

The face of a very attractive human, but alas, only a pretty boy and not a girl by any stretch of the imagination. Most pretty boys don’t really look like women. Everyone just thinks they do. Look at them real close. They look like a very beautiful man, but still a man nonetheless. There’s some implacable barrier between a pretty boy and an attractive woman. You can’t put your finger on it but you know it’s there.

Male model good looks, but still a pretty boy. I thought, “I don’t know about that.”

Another wanted to date me too. She explicitly stated that she would definitely have sex with me, and she lived fairly close. She was willing to drive five hours up here just to get fucked. I wanted to do it until I thought about it.

She still had the body of a woman except for the hair on her chest. I told her she’d have to shave it. She agreed.

The deep voice? No problem.

Clit as big as a micropenis? Probably not a problem. I’ll just tell myself it’s a giant clit and see if that works.

Then I thought about her face. I never saw it but I don’t want to. Transmen are still women of course, but their faces look exactly like men’s. She will look like a guy. No way can I have sex with a woman who totally looks like a guy. That’ll be sure to send me into a gay panic. I’m way too homophobic to to that.

Even worse, I told me best female friend, a former model, gorgeous at 32. She referred to my potential sex partner as “he.” To me she was always a “she.” That really hit me. No way can I fuck any human who others refer to as “he.” You’re hitting my homophobic nerve pretty hard there.

Besides, they’re all tight as virgins. They can’t even use dildos anymore. They bleed when they have sex. Their vaginas hardly work anymore, like those of postmenopausal women, and they’re 25 years old. 25 year olds with the vaginas of a 55 year olds.

All of this is mostly just sad more than anything else for me, especially that last paragraph and in particular that last sentence. I don’t hate transmen at all. They’re tragic figures, often willing to admit they were mistaken. You pity someone that much, and  it’s impossible to hate them.

Transwomen

I talked to a few transwomen, and they were the nicest guys I’ve ever met. Real sweethearts. Remarkably soft and kindhearted for men. Pacifists. I didn’t hate them at all. How can you hate someone that nice? On the other hand, if you ask me if they’re crazy, I’d have to say yes.

The Life of the Transwoman and Her Trans Friends, Written in the Second Person

Despite the fact that you’re already crazy and miserable anyway, you get locked into Trans IP and get even more miserable.

But you’re wretched. Everybody’s misgendering you all day. TERF’s are everywhere, stinking up the landscape, posing as woke progressives. The laws are all against you. You’re locked out of the dating sites. There’s always prostitution but who wants to be a whore? You just got fired from another job by your transphobic ass of a boss. He laughed when he did it. Most jobs last months, not years. Your resume is a trainwreck. You have to fake the whole thing. Invent places you never worked at, jobs you never had, and you’re playing games with time frames. Your family disowned you.

You’re a laughingstock. You’re always the butt of some joke. Nobody understands you. Cis people keep trying to be woke, but they keep screwing up. They’re never quite free of transphobia.

You have to keep moving the goalposts to think up some new oppressions when the old ones don’t work anymore because you always have to have new oppressions to keep cutting and going to the hospital, taking three different psych meds, or hangdog-ing in some therapist’s office who probably secretly hates you. You need a reason to be hated, so you can be a victim. So you can blame all your mental problems on bigots. Everyone’s misinformed and a bit mean all the time. Even when they’re nice they’re mean. Like human venus fly traps.

No one wants to date you. You’re lonely every night. The porn doesn’t work anymore. Half your trans friends are flakes, nutjobs, and kooks – and that’s when they weren’t sex offenders or creepy latent rapists. A few of them liked little kids. You shudder at that. Your friends are all narcissists. Everyone you know has NPD. And you keep asking yourself why so many transwomen are psychopaths. You last two “best friends” ripped you off for hundreds of dollars. You confronted them and they laughed.

You call yourself a lesbian with a dick, but pretty soon you’re yelling that no dyke wants to date you. There’s nothing a lesbian hates more than a penis. It’s not rocket science. You demonstrate and rage about cotton ceilings. You try to join lesbian marches so you can maybe get a date, but you get found out, and the womyn physically remove you from the march. You fight back but the police come.

All your transwomen friends are collecting DSM diagnoses, and that’s no fun. Collecting baseball cards? Ok? Collecting different ways of being nuts? The Hell never goes away, and it gets a bit worse every New Year’s.

You’re suicidal. The cutting wasn’t enough. You always needed just one more scar. You catch yourself on the web researching suicide methods. Anything to make the pain go away. The psych drugs stop working and then they up the doses, but the side effects wreck your life, so you go off meds. You’ve had 30 different DSM diagnoses. They can’t all be right, but no one can agree what’s wrong with you.

As you head towards middle age, more of your old friends are buying it with their own hand:

There’s Tracy, drug overdose.

Debbie the streetwalker, murdered by one of her Black clients.

Betty finally took one too many pills.

Ginger used a gun. They say it was gross, splattered all over the wall. The Hazmat team came out.

Latisha jumped off a chair and was found swinging in the air with a broken neck. I hope it was over fast.

Jade was hit by a car. There were rumors that she ran out into traffic!

Lisa? Cirrhosis. She was the life of the party, always with a drink in her hand. One day she drank one too many.

Mary? Liver cancer. The hepatitis from the needles finally caught up with her.

Maryanne? She never could pass. Good God, ugliest horse face you ever saw. And that jawline. People were always cupping their mouths to hide their snickers. One day the humiliation was too much. She was found in a bathtub of blood, razor on the edge of the porcelain.

Your trans friends are offing themselves at 20X the rate of your cis friends. Some liberation! 10 detransitioned, but half of them went back on steroids. One, Rhonda, went back and forth three times. One day she quit changing her mind. She was found lying motionless in a wino alleyway. Natural causes, they said. But she was only 38!

You did know some transmen. After testosterone liberation, they started going to jail and they never stopped. They’d been clean as a whistle before. Who knew that testosterone could turn you into a criminal? You saw the transformations. Meek young ladies to raging pussymen. You thought lesbians were bad? Wait til you meet transmen. They’re as raging and combative as dykes, except lesbians have normal hormones. Transmen are raging dykes with testosterone poisoning.

One, Julie, detransitioned. But her voice was deep as man’s. Poor girl will have to shave every morning for life. And the injections made her sterile.

At 25, your transmen friends already have vaginal atrophy, a condition most women don’t get for another few decades. Their pussies are as tight as a virgin’s. Their dildos won’t even fit anymore.

Some dated straight cis men but most guys flipped when they saw the clit as big as a baby carrot. One transman friend swore one went into a gay panic. He was this far from killing her.

You have the face of a guy, so only kinky gay men want to fuck you. It feels weird. You want a real man, like all women. You’re a woman, and the testosterone makes you maniacally horny for days on end. Who would have thought that testosterone would turn you into an insatiable sex maniac?

You rub your clit to masculine straight men nonstop for three days straight, and the next day, here you are, in the Castro again, getting fucked by another sissyboy. To deal with the cognitive dissonance, you start calling yourself a gay man. Everyone says you’re crazy. And like so many gay men, you long to get fucked by masculine straight men, not sissified nellyboys. But of course the real men don’t want you. Only the girlymen do. Ever wonder why gay men are so unhappy? There ya go. One of the main reasons right there.

And now you realize that this is only the beginning. From now on out, it’ll be downhill all the way. You steel yourself for the ride. You’ll need all the fortitude you can get.

What Are Object Relations?

Alpha Unit: Of course. You just want me to agree with you.

Object Relations

You’re free to have your own views. I have good object relations. I have to otherwise I’d be on Cluster B! We Axis 1 anxiety disorder types have good Object Relations. In fact we separate ourselves from others too much. We are too good at it!

Below I use “you” to mean “all other people who are not me.”

Object Relations means that you and I are completely separate entities in space. Despite quantum physics, we don’t see ourselves as part of our each other even though we are. I recognize that you are a separate object from me, not a part of me.

That means you have: completely separate ideas, emotions, desires, fears, goals, loves, hates, opinions, politics, religious views, identities, on and on and on.

We want people to agree with us but considering that we indeed completely separate entities with our own agency, we are lucky if we have 50% of the things in paragraph above in common. So I shouldn’t expect you to disagree with more than half of what I say, think, and feel. Otherwise you might almost be a part of me. I like the idea because like most people, I’m a selfish dick, but rationally I realize you are a completely separate object, your own separate world or even universe if you will. My universe is over here and yours is over there. We’re not even in the same universe! It’s amazing we can even talk to each other, much less agree.

Alt Left: The Difference Between Blacks and Whites Is There are Far More Bad Blacks Than Bad Whites

Yes, there are bad Whites, but there are not a lot of them.We all know there are scums amongst us. Except in the White community, someone like that usually gets a punch in the face. Or he gets his property damaged. Or gunshots in his window. Or a ton of menace and threats.  He goes out in town and people  confront him on the streets, walk up to him, try to start a fight with him, and literally order him out of town. The cops find out about it, don’t get involved, and seem to say, “He’s a scum. Go ahead and run his ass out of town. One less POS we have to deal with.”

Word travels fast among Whites. I would meet people who I had never met before, who would come up to me, and say, “Hey, Bob.” I’d look at them like, “Who the Hell are you?” Some of them were cops. How did they know my name? I’d meet people and they’d say, “You don’t know us but we know you. We’ve been watching you for years, five or ten years. We like you too. We went to some of your parties but you don’t recognize us.”

Also the White community polices its bad actors.

The Black community fails to set standards for behavior or sets them ridiculously low. It gladly tolerates minor shittiness that would get you a knuckle sandwich in Whiteville.

Like ripping people off for $5-15. Ghetto Blacks do this all the time. If you let them, they will take you for more, up to $50-80.

The ones who ripped me off were all Black women because Black men are so scary I mostly just don’t deal with them. But being a pig who screws anything that moves and thinks a lot of Black chicks are hot, of course I’ve dealt with Black chicks most of my life because I’m trying to fuck them. Duh.

They have a pretty damn poor track record. They were 5-10X more likely to steal from me than White women. White women don’t really rip you off. It’s considered to be low, literally “acting like a nigger.”

Whites don’t like to be called niggers or be told they act like niggers. And if you act bad enough, that is exactly what people will call you. You will essentially be evicted from the White race and be told you are Black.

We don’t care what you look like. You act like a Goddamned ghetto nigger, so that’s what you will be called. Niggers come in all races.

You will be told, “Leave this town and go to Detroit where you belong.”

Usually scumbag Whites who act very bad in our communities are White lowlifes who just so happen to typically be White trash trailor park types who are usually quite racist. Way more racist then the rest of the town calling him a nigger. Well, racist Whites really hate being called niggers. Them’s fighting words. They look like they will murder you when you call them that. It’s their ultimate raw nerve designed to push them over the edge: calling them niggers. So of course that is what these Whites precisely get called, just because we know they hate it that much.

White policing seems to work. The community polices itself. The Black community does not police its own. It sets very low bars for behavior and lets other Blacks get away with shit that you would get your ass kicked pretty quick in Whitetown.

You stole $15? First of all that’s pathetic, and you are truly being a nigger by stealing a petty amount of cash. If we get ripped off for a good amount, of course we hate you but we get it. It was worth it to grab your $240. In a way you admire them because at least the crime was understandable. And a lot of Whites will almost respect you for a good burn.

You showed us up. You shamed us. You showed us just how stupid we were. In the future we have to act smarter and quick being such chumps and marks. In that odd way, Whites get more furious about getting ripped off for $20 than for $200.

You go around Whiteville stealing $5-25 here and there on a regular basis, and you’re going to get hit. Punched. In the face. “Get the message, bitch? Knock it off!”

Blacks don’t do this. They act like this is normal behavior so amongst these Blacks you have all these sleazy people who think ripping you off for $5-25 is perfectly normal behavior and you are the jerk for getting mad about it. There’s no policing. It’s regarded as normal, like walking down the street.

The White Community Polices Its Own

A guy was going around ripping off us drug dealers and we got together and slashed all his tires. Then we engaged in nonstop phone terrorism against his home. Then we made a bomb and put it on his car and blew the Hell out of his windshield.

As if that weren’t enough, a bunch of other folks who he also ripped off went over to his car in his apartment complex garage in the middle of the night and somehow turned his car literally upside down! So when he came down to get in his VW bug the next morning, he saw a car that was literally sitting on its head with his wheels in the air. LOL! How the Hell do you remedy a situation like that?

The guy was a cocaine addict. Well, that was his excuse. He was really a Goddamned psychopath. He went around to all us dealers and got us to front him ounces of weed. $60 apiece back then. He nailed me for two.

Then he would take them, sell them for cocaine, hole up in some rat-hole motel in San Fransisco, and put a needle into his vein. When he came back, his attitude was, “Hey, fuck all of you. Sorry, I’m a cocaine addict and I can’t help being a thief. None of you are getting any of your money back. By the way, I did nothing wrong and of course we still friends even though I literally stole from you. And about the weed I stole? You’re never getting paid back. That’s the way of the world. Oh, and tough shit if you don’t like it. By the way, I’m an addict and I can’t help it. Ha ha.”

Well, we dealers were hopping furious at him because we were not used to being ripped off. Most of us never fronted because everyone is your best friend and would never rip you off and deserves a front and of course will pay you back except it’s not true. You get away with it for a while if you vet your friends well and act like you will murder them if you don’t the money. A little terror works wonders.

Problem is you can’t vet psychopaths. This guy, we had no idea he was a psychopath because it only came out in the context of drug addiction. But we thought he was being a huge ass even if he was an addict. “You’re an addict? So what! Pay for your dope, asshole. All the other addicts do!

But he was special so he got to steal, and ha ha, you can’t get him back neener neener. By the way, we’re still friends, right? God, the arrogance!

He looked me straight in the face and said, “Bob, I swear to God I will pay you back.” I’m good at reading people. I looked him hard straight in the face and sized him up. He saw me do it and straightened his back. “I swear to God, Bob.” I’ve literally known this guy like a good friend since, what? 7th grade? 1969? Here he is, it’s 1986, and he’s asking me to front him. I’ve known him for 17 damned years. I trust him, in part because of that.

Problem is psychopaths are chameleons. They look you straight in the face, and you gaze hard into their eyes, and you think, “There’s no possible way this guy could be lying to me. I know what a liar looks like, and this ain’t it.” He looks like a completely honest person. So you trust him, he fools you and he burns you. And that’s how psychopaths roll. And it’s how they’re so good at what they do.

“The Inner Landscape of the Psychopath,” by Hervey Cleckley

This is one of the finest descriptions I have ever read of the psychopath. I’ve been studying them for decades now, and I still don’t understand them. They simply don’t make sense. I can’t see how they can do what they do without feeling guilt or caring what others think. With this article though, I am at least starting to get a picture of the inner dynamics of the psychopath.

The work below is a classic, of course, and it is the first major work in psychiatry that attempted to describe psychopathy. It is still just as relevant today as it was 80 years ago. This is a chapter from Cleckley’s book.

It’s intense reading. It’s not so much hard to understand as it is dense. There are some many concepts packed into even one paragraph that it gets slow-going. This is especially true for me as, with an article below, I have to form a “picture” in my mind to truly understand a lot of the prose. When I write I also think in pictures. I get a picture, try to figure out what’s in it and what it’s about, and then set about describing the picture in words the best I can. Most art forms are similar. We writers make paintings and movies in our head, the raw material of our prose.

The section below is 31 pages including my mad scribbling. If there’s anything you can’t understand or follow in this piece, feel free to bring it up in the comments and I will try to explain it as I pretty much understood everything written below. It took me a while, but I did get it.

That said, this piece is a serious “brain fry.” I call brain fries any prose that pushes your mind to its absolute limits, like going to the gym and pushing your body to its limits. You have to go slow because there are so many concepts being pushed so quickly, but if you concentrate hard enough, you can figure out most brain fry prose. A lot of people who like simplistic writing or don’t want to work their brains at Autobahn speed probably think texts like this are a nightmare or a pain in the ass. They’re not having a good time when they’re reading it. It’s one frustration after another.

And just because I understood everything below doesn’t mean everyone else can. Keep in mind I have a genius IQ of 147. So a person with a 147 IQ can muddle through everything below and figure it all out. 99.9% of the population is below 147, and I don’t have the faintest notion how well they can get through stuff like this or how much they can understand of it at different IQ levels. If you understand everything below and know your IQ, you might want to comment to tell us that you got it all, give us your number, and tell us what sort of a ride it was machete slashing through this word tangle.

The Inner Landscape of the Psychopath

From: The Mask of Sanity, by Hervey Cleckley, 1941, 5th edition

The surface of the psychopath, however, that is, all of him that can be reached by verbal exploration and direct examination, shows up as equal to or better than normal and gives no hint at all of a disorder within.

Nothing about him suggests oddness, inadequacy, or moral frailty. His mask is that of robust mental health. Yet he has a disorder that often manifests itself in conduct far more seriously abnormal than that of the schizophrenic.

Inwardly, too, there appears to be a significant difference.

Deep in the masked schizophrenic we often sense a cold, weird indifference to many of life’s most urgent issues and sometimes also bizarre, inexplicable, and unpredictable but intense emotional reactions to what seems almost irrelevant.

Behind the exquisitely deceptive mask of the psychopath the emotional alteration we feel appears to be primarily one of degree, a consistent leveling of response to petty ranges and an incapacity to react with sufficient seriousness to achieve much more than pseudoexperience or quasi-experience. Nowhere within do we find a real cause or a sincere commitment, reasonable or unreasonable. There is nowhere the loyalty to produce real and lasting allegiance even to a negative or fanatic cause.

Just as meaning and the adequate sense of things as a whole are lost with semantic aphasia in the circumscribed field of speech although the technical mimicry of language remains intact, so in most psychopaths the purposiveness and the significance of all life-striving and of all subjective experience are affected without obvious damage to the outer appearance or superficial reactions of the personality. Nor is there any loss of technical or measurable intelligence.

With such a biologic change the human being becomes more reflex, more machinelike. It has been said that a monkey endowed with sufficient longevity would, if he continuously pounded the keys of a typewriter, finally strike by pure chance the very succession of keys to reproduce all the plays of Shakespeare.

These papers so composed in the complete absence of purpose and human awareness would look just as good to any scholar as the actual works of the Bard. Yet we cannot deny that there is a difference. Meaning and life at a prodigiously high level of human values went into one and merely the rule of permutations and combinations would go into the other.

The patient semantically defective by lack of meaningful purpose and realization at deep levels does not, of course, strike sane and normal attitudes merely by chance. His rational power enables him to mimic directly the complex play of human living. Yet what looks like sane realization and normal experience remains, in a sense and to some degree, like the plays of our simian typist.

In Henry Head’s interpretation of semantic aphasia we find, however, concepts of neural function and of its integration and impairment that help to convey a hypothesis of grave personality disorder thoroughly screened by the intact peripheral operation of all ordinary abilities.

In relatively abstract or circumscribed situations, such as the psychiatric examination or the trial in court, these abilities do not show impairment but more or less automatically demonstrate an outer sanity unquestionable in all its aspects and at all levels accessible to the observer. That this technical sanity is little more than a mimicry of true sanity cannot be proved at such levels.

Only when the subject sets out to conduct his life can we get evidence of how little his good theoretical understanding means to him, of how inadequate and insubstantial are the apparently normal basic emotional reactions and motivations convincingly portrayed and enunciated but existing in little more than two dimensions.

What we take as evidence of his sanity will not significantly or consistently influence his behavior. Nor does it represent real intention within, the degree of his emotional response, or the quality of his personal experience much more reliably than some grammatically well-formed, clear, and perhaps verbally sensible statement produced vocally by the autonomous neural apparatus of a patient with semantic aphasia can be said to represent such a patient’s thought or carry a meaningful communication of it.

Let us assume tentatively that the psychopath is, in this sense, semantically disordered. We have said that his outer functional aspect masks or disguises something quite different within, concealing behind a perfect mimicry of normal emotion, fine intelligence, and social responsibility a grossly disabled and irresponsible personality. Must we conclude that this disguise is a mere pretense voluntarily assumed and that the psychopath’s essential dysfunction should be classed as mere hypocrisy instead of psychiatric defect or deformity?

Let us remember that his typical behavior defeats what appear to be his own aims.

Is it not he himself who is most deeply deceived by his apparent normality?

Although he deliberately cheats others and is quite conscious of his lies, he appears unable to distinguish adequately between his own pseudointentions, pseudoremorse, pseudolove, and the genuine responses of a normal person.

His monumental lack of insight indicates how little he appreciates the nature of his disorder.

When others fail to accept immediately his “word of honor as a gentleman,” his amazement, I believe, is often genuine. The term genuine is used here not to qualify the psychopath’s intentions but to qualify his amazement. His subjective experience is so bleached of deep emotion that he is invincibly ignorant of what life means to others.

His awareness of hypocrisy’s opposite is so insubstantially theoretical that it becomes questionable if what we chiefly mean by hypocrisy should be attributed to him.

Having no major values himself, can he be said to realize adequately the nature and quality of the outrages his conduct inflicts upon others?

A young child who has no impressive memory of severe pain may have been told by his mother it is wrong to cut off the dog’s tail. Knowing it is wrong he may proceed with the operation. We need not totally absolve him of responsibility if we say he realized less what he did than an adult who, in full appreciation of physical agony, so uses a knife.

Can a person experience the deeper levels of sorrow without considerable knowledge of happiness? Can he achieve evil intention in the full sense without real awareness of evil’s opposite? I have no final answer to these questions.

Attempts to interpret the psychopath’s disorder do not, of course, furnish evidence that he has a disorder or that it is serious. For reliable evidence of this we must examine his behavior. Only here, not in psychopathologic formulations, can we apply our judgment to what is objective and demonstrable.

Functionally and structurally all is intact on the outside. Good function (healthy reactivity) will be demonstrated in all theoretical trials. Sound judgment as well as good reasoning are likely to appear at verbal levels. Ethical as well as practical considerations will be recognized in the abstract. A brilliant mimicry of sound, social reactions will occur in every test except the test of life itself.

In the psychopath we confront a personality neither broken nor outwardly distorted but of a substance that lacks ingredients without which normal function in major life issues is impossible.

Simon, Holzberg, and Unger, impressed by the paradox of the psychopath’s poor performance despite intact reasoning, devised an objective test specifically to appraise judgment as it would function in real situations, as contrasted with theoretical judgment in abstract situations.

These workers are aware that the more complex synthesis of influences constituting what is often called judgment or understanding (as compared to a more theoretical “reasoning”) may be simulated in test situations in which emotional participation is minimal, that rational factors alone by an accurate aping or stereotyping can produce in vitro, so to speak, what they cannot produce in vivo.

Items for a multiple choice test were selected with an aim of providing maximal possibilities for emotional factors to influence decision and particularly for relatively trivial immediate gratification impulses to clash with major, long-range objectives. The same items were also utilized in the form of a completion test. The results of this test on a group of psychopaths tend to support the hypothetical interpretation attempted in this book.

If such a disorder does indeed exist in the so-called psychopath, it is not remarkable that its recognition as a major and disabling impairment has been long delayed.

Pathological changes visible on the surface of the body (laceration, compound fractures) were already being handled regularly by medical men when the exorcism of indwelling demons retained popular favor in many illnesses now treated by the internist. So, too, it has been with personality disorders. Those characterized by gross outward manifestations have been accepted as psychiatric problems long before others in which a superficial appearance of sanity is preserved.

Despite the psychopath’s lack of academic symptoms characteristic of those disorders traditionally classed as psychosis, he often seems, in some important respects, but not in all, to belong more with that group than with any other. Certainly his problems cannot be dealt with, medically or by any other means, unless similar legal instrumentalities for controlling his situation are set up and regularly applied.

I believe that if such a patient shows himself grossly incompetent in his behavior, he should be so appraised. It is necessary to change some of our legal criteria to make attempts at treatment or urgently needed supervision possible for him, the most serious objections are primarily theoretical. Perhaps our traditional definitions of psychiatric disability can stand alteration better than these grossly defective patients and those about them can stand the present farcical and sometimes tragic methods of handling their problems.

This is not to say that all people showing features of this type should be regarded as totally disabled. It is here maintained that this defect, like other psychiatric disorders, appears in every degree of severity and may constitute anything from a personality trait through handicaps of varying magnitude, including maximum disability and maximum threat to the peace and safety of the community.

In attempting to account for the abnormal behavior observed in the psychopath, we have found useful the hypothesis that he has a serious and subtle abnormality or defect at deep levels disturbing the integration and normal appreciation of experience and resulting in a pathology that might, in analogy with Henry Head’s classifications of the aphasias, be described as semantic.

Presuming that such a patient does fail to experience life adequately in its major issues, can we then better account for his clinical manifestations? The difficulties of proving, or even of demonstrating direct objective evidence, for hypotheses about psychopathology (or about ordinary subjective functioning) are too obvious to need elaborate discussion here.

If the psychopath’s life is devoid of higher order stimuli, of primary or serious goals and values, and of intense and meaningful satisfactions, it may be possible for the observer to better understand the patient who, for the trivial excitement of stealing a dollar (or a candy bar), the small gain of forging a $20.00 check, or halfhearted intercourse with an unappealing partner, sacrifices his job, the respect of his friends, or perhaps his marriage.

Behind much of the psychopath’s behavior we see evidence of relatively mild stimuli common to all mankind. In his panhandling, his pranks, his truancy, his idle boasts, his begging, and his taking another drink, he is acting on motives in themselves not unnatural. In their massive accumulation during his career, these acts are impressive chiefly because of what he sacrifices to carry them out. If, for him, the things sacrificed are also of petty value, his conduct becomes more comprehensible.

Woolley, in an interesting interpretation of these patients, compared them with an otherwise intact automobile having very defective brakes. Such an analogy suggests accurately an important pathological defect which seems to exist.

In contrast with an automobile, however, the braking functions of the human organism are built into the personality by reaction to life experience, to reward and punishment, praise and blame, shame, loss, honor, love, and so on. True as Woolley’s hypothesis may be, it seems likely that more fundamental than inadequate powers to refrain is the inadequate emotional reactivity upon which the learning to refrain must be based.

Even with good brakes on his car, the driver must have not only knowledge of but also feeling for what will happen otherwise if he is to use them correctly and adequately.

Some of the psychopath’s behavior may be fairly well accounted for if we grant a limitation of emotional capacity. Additional factors merit consideration.

The psychopath seems to go out of his way to make trouble for himself and for others.

In carelessly marrying a whore, in more or less inviting detection of a theft (or at least in ignoring the probability of detection), in attempting gross intimacies with a debutante in the poorly sheltered alcove just off a crowded ballroom, in losing his hospital parole or failing to be with his wife in labor just because he did not want to leave the crap game at midnight (or at 3 A.M.), in such actions there seems to be not only a disregard for consequences but an active impulse to show off, to be not discreet but conspicuous in making mischief.

Apparently he likes to flaunt his outlandish or antisocial acts with bravado.

When negative consequences are negligible or slight (both materially and emotionally), who does not like to cut up a little, to make a bit of inconsequential fun, or perhaps playfully take off on the more sober aspects of living? Dignity might otherwise become pompousness; learning, pedantry; goodness, self-righteousness.

The essential difference seems to lie in how much the consequences matter. It is also important to remember that inclination and taste are profoundly shaped by capacity to feel the situation adequately. A normal man’s potential inclination to give the pretty hatcheck girl $100.00 would probably not reach awareness in view of his knowledge that this would result in his three children’s not having shoes or in his having to humiliate himself by wheedling from a friend a loan he will never repay.

If, as we maintain, the big rewards of love, of the hard job well done, of faith kept despite sacrifices, do not enter significantly in the equation, it is not difficult to see that the psychopath is likely to be bored. Being bored, he will seek to cut up more than the ordinary person to relieve the tedium of his unrewarding existence.

If we think of a theater half-filled with ordinary pubertal boys who must sit through a performance of King Lear or of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, we need ask little of either imagination or memory to bring to mind the restless fidgeting, the noisy intercommunication of trivialities, the inappropriate guffaws or catcalls, and perhaps the spitballs or the mischievous application of a pin to the fellow in the next seat.

Apparently blocked from fulfillment at deep levels, the psychopath is not unnaturally pushed toward some sort of divertissement. Even weak impulses, petty and fleeting gratifications, are sufficient to produce in him injudicious, distasteful, and even outlandish misbehavior.

Major positive attractions are not present to compete successfully with whims, and the major negative deterrents (hot, persistent shame, profound regret) do not loom ahead to influence him. If the 12-year-old boys could enjoy King Lear or the Ninth Symphony as much as some people do, they would not be so reckless or unruly.

In a world where tedium demands that the situation be enlivened by pranks that bring censure, nagging, nights in the local jail, and irritating duns about unpaid bills, it can well be imagined that the psychopath finds cause for vexation and impulses toward reprisal. Few, if any, of the scruples that in the ordinary man might oppose and control such impulses seem to influence him. Unable to realize what it meant to his wife when he was discovered in the cellar flagrante delicto with the cook, he is likely to be put out considerably by her reactions to this.

His having used the rent money for a midnight long-distance call to an old acquaintance in California (with whom he bantered for an hour) also brings upon him censure or tearful expostulation. Considering himself harassed beyond measure, he may rise from the dining room table in a petty tantrum, curse his wife violently, slap her, even spit on her, and further annoyed by the sudden weeping of their 6-year-old daughter, throw his salad in the little girl’s face before he strides indignantly from the room.

His father, from the patient’s point of view, lacks humor and does not understand things. The old man could easily take a different attitude about having had to make good those last three little old checks written by the son. Nor was there any sense in raising so much hell because he took that dilapidated old Chevrolet for his trip to Memphis.

What if he did forget to tell the old man he was going to take it? It wouldn’t hurt him to go to the office on the bus for a few days. How was he (the patient) to know the fellows were going to clean him out at stud or that the little bitch of a waitress at the Frolic Spot would get so nasty about money? What else could he do except sell the antiquated buggy? If the old man weren’t so parsimonious he’d want to get a new car anyway!

And why did he (the father) have to act so magnanimous and hurt about settling things last Saturday night down at the barracks? You’d think from his attitude that it was the old man himself who’d had to put up with being cooped in there all those hours with louse-infested riff-raff! Well, he’d thanked his father and told him how sorry he was.

What else could a fellow do? As for that damned old Chevrolet, he was sick of hearing about it. His grudge passing with a turn of thought, he smiles with half-affectionate, playfully cordial feelings toward the old man as he concludes, “I ought to tell him to take his precious old vehicle and stick it up his _____!”

Lacking vital elements in the appreciation of what the family and various bystanders are experiencing, the psychopath finds it hard to understand why they continually criticize, reproach, quarrel with, and interfere with him. His employer, whom he has praised a few hours before, becomes a pettifogging tyrant who needs some telling off.

The policeman to whom he gave tickets for the barbecue last week (because he is such a swell guy) turns out to be a stupid oaf and a meddler who can’t mind his own business but has to go and arrest somebody just because of a little argument with Casey in the Midnight Grill about what happened to a few stinking dollar bills that were lying on the bar.

It is not necessary to assume great cruelty or conscious hatred in him commensurate with the degree of suffering he deals out to others. Not knowing how it hurts or even where it hurts, he often seems to believe that he has made a relatively mild but appropriate reprimand and that he has done it with humor.

What he believes he needs to protest against turns out to be no small group, no particular institution or set of ideologies, but human life itself. In it he seems to find nothing deeply meaningful or persistently stimulating, but only some transient and relatively petty pleasant caprices, a terribly repetitious series of minor frustrations, and ennui.

Like many teenagers, saints, history-making statesmen, and other notable leaders or geniuses, he shows unrest; he wants to do something about the situation. Unlike these others, as Lindner has so well and convincingly stressed, he is a “rebel without a cause.”

Reacting with something that seems not too much like divine discontent or noble indignation, he finds no cause in the ordinary sense to which, he can devote himself with wholeheartedness or with persistent interest. In certain aspects his essential life seems to be a peevish bickering with the inconsequential.

In other aspects he suggests a man hanging from a ledge who knows if he lets go he will fall, is likely to break a leg, may lose his job and his savings (through the disability and hospital expenses), and perhaps may injure his baby in the carriage just below. He suggests a man in this position who, furthermore, is not very tired and who knows help will arrive in a few minutes, but who, nevertheless, with a charming smile and a wisecrack, releases his hold to light a cigarette, to snatch at a butterfly, or just to thumb his nose at a fellow passing in the street below.

A world not by any means identical but with some vivid features of both these underlying situations can be found in Huysmans’ Against the Grain and in Jean-Paul Sartre’s Nausea. In the satirical novels of Evelyn Waugh, also, an atmosphere difficult to describe sometimes develops – an atmosphere that may give the reader awareness of attitudes and evaluations genuinely illustrative of deeply distorted or inadequate reactions to life.

The leading characters depicted therein show a peculiar cynicism which is more conscious and directed and purposive than the behavior of the psychopath. But none of the characters presented show even an approximate awareness of what is most valid and meaningful and natural in human beings. A negative response to life itself, an aversion at levels more basic than ordinary morals or the infraconscious foundations of taste and incentive, is conveyed subtly and impressively.

It is difficult to illustrate by incident, by the expressed attitude of the characters depicted, or by any clearly implied evaluation of the authors the specific quality of what is evoked in these novels as the essence of an unhappy, mutilated, and trivial universe in which all the characters exist. The sense of pathology pervades to levels so deep that rational scrutiny cannot reach and meet the fundamental implications; nor can inquiry satisfactorily demonstrate its precise source.

If the actual world and man’s biologic scope were only that conveyed in these interesting works, it would perhaps be less difficult to account for obsessive illness and for the psychopath’s career as reasonable reactions to a situation where no course is possible except one profoundly pathological in one way or another.

Thoughtful contemplation of what is depicted in these works of fiction suggests a world as fundamentally altered as what Straus presents as the world of the obsessive patient. In the effective and terse implication of general emotional incapacity in these characters, the authors succeed in evoking awareness of a sort of quasi-life restricted within a range of staggering superficiality.

This, rather than those aspects of the works that apparently brought them popularity, may deserve high literary appraisal as concise and valuable communications of something that is by no means easy to convey in direct language. Such a superficiality and lack of major incentive or feeling strongly suggest the apparent emotional limitations of the psychopath.

What Straus and Havelock Ellis have brought out is not discernible in the reactions of the psychopath. It is, as a matter of fact, somewhat veiled in the reactions of most obsessive patients. Observation of the psychopath makes it increasingly plain, however, that he is not reacting normally to the surroundings that are ordinarily assumed to exist. I cannot clearly define the specific milieu which such a patient encounters and to which his reactions are related.

There is much to suggest that it is a less distinctly or consistently apprehended world than what Straus describes as the inner world of the obsessive patient. It is my belief that it may be a world not less abnormal and perhaps more complexly confusing. We should remember, however, that we have no direct evidence to prove that a deficiency or distortion of this sort exists in the unconscious core of the psychopath.

We can only say that his behavior strongly and consistently suggests it. This discussion has been based, of course. on a hypothesis that the psychopath has a basic inadequacy of feeling and realization that prevents him from normally experiencing the major emotions and from reacting adequately to the chief goals of human life.

Beyond the symptomatic acts of the psychopath, we must bear in mind his reaction to his situation, his general experiencing of life. Typical of psychoneurosis are anxiety, recognition that one is in trouble, and efforts to alter the bad situation. These are natural (“normal”) whole personality reactions to localized symptoms.

In contrast, the severe psychopath, like those so long called psychotic, does not show normal responses to the situation. It is offered as an opinion that a less obvious but nonetheless real pathology is general, and that in this respect he is more closely allied with the psychotic than with the psychoneurotic patient. The pathology might be regarded not as gross fragmentation of the personality but as a more subtle alteration. Let us say that instead of macroscopic disintegration our (hypothetical) change might be conceived of as one that seriously curtails function without obliterating form.

Let us think of the personality in the psychopath as differing from the normal in some such way. The form is perfect and the outlines are undistorted. But being subtly and profoundly altered, it can successfully perform only superficial activities or pseudofunctions. It cannot maintain important or meaningful interpersonal relations. It cannot fulfill its purpose of adjusting adequately to social reality. Its performance can only mimic these genuine functions.

The persistent pattern of maladaptation at personality levels and the ostensible purposelessness of many self-damaging acts definitely suggests not only a lack of strong purpose but also a negative purpose or at least a negative drift. This sort of patient, despite all his opportunities, his intelligence, and his plain lessons of experience, seems to go out of his way to woo misfortune. The suggestion has already been made that his typical activities seem less comprehensible in terms, of life-striving or of a pursuit of joy than as an unrecognized blundering toward the negations of nonexistence.

Some of this, it has been suggested, may be interpreted as the tantrum, like reactions of an inadequate personality balked, as behavior similar to that of the spoiled child who bumps his own head against the wall or holds his breath when he is crossed. It might be thought of as not unlike a man’s cutting off his nose to spite not only his face, but also the scheme of life in general, which has turned out to be a game that he cannot play.

Such reactions are, of course, found in nearly all types of personality disorder or inadequacy. It will perhaps be readily granted that they are all regressive. Behavior against the constructive patterns through which the personality finds expression and seeks fulfillment of its destiny is regressive activity although it may not consist in a return, step by step, or in a partial return to the status of childhood and eventually of infancy. Such reactions appear to be, in a sense, against the grain of life or against the general biologic purpose.

Regressive reactions or processes may all be regarded as disintegrative, as reverse steps in the general process of biologic growth through which a living entity becomes more complex, more highly adapted and specialized, better coordinated, and more capable of dealing successfully or happily with objective or subjective experience. This scale of increasing complexity exists at points even below the level of living matter.

A group of electrons functioning together make up the atom which can indeed be split down again to its components. The atoms joining form molecules which, in turn, coming together in definite orderly arrangement, may become structurally coordinating parts of elaborate crystalline materials; or, in even more specialized and complex fashion, they may form a cell of organic matter. Cells of organic matter may unite and integrate to form the living organism we know as a jellyfish. Always the process is reversible; the organic matter can decompose back into inorganic matter.

Without laboriously following out all the steps of this scale, we might mention the increasing scope of activity, the increasing specialization, and the increasing precariousness of existence at various levels up through vertebrates and mammals to man. All along this scale it is evident that failure to function successfully at a certain level necessitates regression or decomposition to a lower or less complicated one.

If the cell membrane of one epithelial unit in a mammalian body becomes imporous and fails to obtain nutriment brought by blood and lymph, it loses its existence as an epithelial cell. If the unwary rabbit fails to perceive the danger of the snare, he soon becomes in rapid succession a dead rabbit, merely a collection of dead organs and supportive structures, protein, fat, and finally, inorganic matter. The fundamental quest for life has been interrupted, and, having been interrupted, the process goes into reverse.

So, too, the criminal discovered and imprisoned ceases to be a free man who comes and goes as he pleases. A curtailment in the scope of his functioning is suffered-a regression in one sense to simpler, more routine, and less varied and vivid activities.

The man who fails in another and more complex way to go on with life, to fulfill his personality growth and function, becomes what we call a schizophrenic. The objective curtailment of his activities by the rules of the psychiatric hospital are almost negligible in comparison with the vast simplification, the loss of self-expression, and the personal disintegration which characterize his regression from the subjective point of view. The old practice of referring to the extremely regressed schizophrenic as leading a vegetative existence implies the significance that is being stressed.

Regression, then, in a broad sense may be taken to mean movement from richer and more full life to levels of scantier or less highly developed life. In other words, it is relative death. It is the cessation of existence or maintenance of function at a given level.

The concept of an active death instinct postulated by Freud has been utilized by some to account for socially self-destructive reactions. I have never been able to discover in the writings of Freud or any of his followers real evidence to confirm this assumption.

In contrast, the familiar tendency to disintegrate, against which life evolves, may be regarded as fundamental and comparable to gravity. The climbing man or animal must use force and purpose to ascend or to maintain himself at a given height. To fall or slide downhill he need only cease his efforts and let go. Without assuming an intrinsic death instinct, it is possible to account for active withdrawal from positions at which adaptation is unsuccessful and stress too extreme.

Whether regression occurs primarily through something like gravity or through impulses more self-contained, the backward movement (or ebbing) is likely to prompt many sorts of secondary reactions, including behavior not adapted for ordinary human purposes but instead, for functioning in the other direction. The modes of such reactivity may vary, may fall into complex patterns, and may seek elaborate expression.

In a movement (or gravitational drift) from levels where life is vigorous and full to those where it is less so, the tactics of withdrawal predominate.

People with all the outer mechanisms of adaptation intact might, one would think, regress more complexly than can those who react more simply. The simplest reaction in reverse might be found in a person who straightway blows out his brains.

As a skillful general who has realized that the objective is unobtainable withdraws by feints and utilizes all sorts of delaying actions, so a patient who has much of the outer mechanisms for living may retire, not in obvious rout but skillfully and elaborately, preserving his lines.

The psychopath as we conceive of him in such an interpretation seems to justify the high estimate of his technical abilities as we see them expressed in reverse movement.

Unlike the general with the retreating army in our analogy, he seems not still devoted to the original contest but to other issues and aims that arise in withdrawal. To force the analogy further we might say that the retiring army is now concerning itself with looting the countryside, seeking mischief and light entertainment. The troops have cast off their original loyalties and given up their former aims but have found no other serious ones to replace them. But the effective organization and all of the technical skills are retained and utilized destructively.

F. L. Wells has expressed things very pertinent to the present discussion. A brief quotation will bring out useful points:

The principle of substitutive reactions, sublimative or regressive in character, has long been known, but Kurt Lewin’s (1933) experimental construction of the latter is especially apt, if not unquestionable mental hygiene. A child, for example, continually impelled to open a gate it is impossible for him to open, may blow up in a tantrum, grovel on the ground, till the emotion subsides sufficiently for him to become substitutively occupied, as with fragments of gravel and other detritus he finds there, by which he forgets his distress about the gate. […]

The human personality has the adaptive property of finding satisfactions at simpler levels when higher ones are taken away, fortunately so if this keeps him out of a psychosis, otherwise if it stabilizes him in contentment at this lower level (“going native”) or if the satisfactions cannot be found short of a psychosis (MacCurdy, 1925, p. 367). All such cases have the common regressive factor of giving up the higher-level adjustment (opening the gate) with regressive relief at a lower level (playing with the gravel).

Another illustration given by Wells emphasizes features of the concept that are valuable to us:

Consider, for example, the group of drives that center about the concept of self-maintenance, the “living standards” of civilization. This means the pursuit of the diverse means to surround oneself with the maximum of material comfort in terms of residence, food, playthings, etc., for the purchase of which one can capitalize his abilities.

That the normal individual will do this to a liberal limit is taken in the local culture as a matter of course, probably more liberally than the facts justify. For this pursuit involves a competitive struggle beset also with inner conflicts (e.g., ethical), which by no means everyone is able to set aside.

Among regressions specific to this category are those undertakings of poverty common to religious orders, but this regression is quite specific, since these orders often involve their members in other “disciplines” from which the normal individual would flee as far (Parkman, 1867, Chap. 16).

It is quite certain, though hard to demonstrate objectively, that many an individual in normal life regresses from these economic conflicts only in less degree. He does not take the vow of poverty like the monastic, nor does he dedicate himself to the simplified life of the “South Sea Island” stereotype, but he prefers salary to commission, city apartment to suburban “bungalow,” clerical work to (outside) sales.

A thought expressed by William James in 1902 and quoted by Wells deserves renewed attention:

Yonder puny fellow however, whom everyone can beat suffers no chagrin about it, for he has long ago abandoned the attempt to “carry that line,” as the merchants say, of Self at all.

With no attempt there can be no failure; with no failure no humiliation.

So our self-feeling in this world depends entirely on what we back ourselves to be and do. It is determined by the ratio of our actualities to our supposed potentialities; a fraction of which our pretentions are the denominator and the numerator our success: thus, Self-esteem = Success/Pretensions.

Such a fraction may be increased as well by diminishing the denominator as by increasing the numerator.

To give up pretensions is as blessed a relief as to get them gratified; and where disappointment is incessant and the struggle unending, this is what men will always do.

The history of evangelical theology, with its conviction of sin, its self-despair, and its abandonment of salvation by works, is the deepest of possible examples, but we meet others in every walk of life. .

How pleasant is the day when we give up striving to be young-or slender! Thank God, we say, those illusions are gone. Everything added to the self is a burden as well as a pride.

Something relevant to the points now under consideration may be found also in Sherrington’s comment on reactions (or inlaid precautions) against unbearable pain or stress in the human organism. He says:

Again in life’s final struggle the chemical delicacy of the brain-net can make distress lapse early because with the brain’s disintegration the mind fades early – a rough world’s mercy towards its dearest possession.

There are, it seems, many ways for this to occur without signs of any change which we yet have objective means to detect, chemically or microscopically. Such changes may occur under the stimulus of agents that do not have direct physical contact with the brain or with any part of the body.

Withdrawal, or limitation of one’s quest in living, appears in many forms.

The decision for taking such a step may be consciously voluntary, but it seems likely that many influences less clear and simple may also play a part. In the earliest years of human life a great deal of complicated shaping may occur, with adaptive changes to promote survival by an automatic refusal (inability) to risk one’s feelings (response) in the greatest subjective adventures. In adult life such decisions sometimes emerge in clear deliberation.

The activity of the psychopath may seem in some respects to accomplish a kind of protracted and elaborate social and spiritual suicide. Perhaps the complex, sustained, and spectacular undoing of the self may be cherished by him. He seldom allows physical suicide to interrupt it.

Be it noted that such a person retains high intelligence and nearly all the outer mechanisms for carrying on the complicated activities of positive life. It is to be expected then that his function in the opposite (regressive) emotional direction might be more subtle than those of a less highly developed biologic entity.

The average rooster proceeds at once to leap on the nearest hen and have done with his simple erotic impulse. The complex human lover may pay suit for years to his love object, approaching her through many volumes of poetry, through the building up of financial security in his business, through manifold activities and operations of his personality functions, and with aims and emotions incomparably more complicated and more profound than that of the rooster.

When complexly organized functions are devoted to aimless or inconsistent rebellion against the positive goals of life, perhaps they may enable the patient to woo failure and disintegration with similar elaborateness and subtlety. His conscious or outer functioning may at the same time maintain an imitation of life that is uniquely deceptive.

Perhaps the emptiness or superficiality of life without major goals or deep loyalties, or real love, would leave a person with high intelligence and other superior capacities so bored that he would eventually turn to hazardous, self-damaging, outlandish, antisocial, and even self-destructive exploits in order to find something fresh and stimulating in which to apply his relatively useless and unchallenged energies and talents.

The more experience I have with psychopaths over the years, the less likely it seems to me that any dynamic or psychogenic theory is likely to be established by real evidence as the cause of their grave maladaptation.

Increasingly I have come to believe that some subtle and profound defect in the human organism, probably inborn but not hereditary, plays the chief role in the psychopath’s puzzling and spectacular failure to experience life normally and to carry on a career acceptable to society. This, too, is still a speculative concept and is not supported by demonstrable evidence.

Alt Left: The World the Deep State Creates: Where Reality Is Fiction, Fiction is Reality, and Hundreds of Millions are Dangerously Mentally Ill

There’s Actual Reality, which we don’t see a lot of, but at least when we do, we know it’s real, or we think we do.

And then there’s the Fake Reality created by the Deep State and the West with the connivance of the media where things happened that never occurred, things that happened never did, where things that happened in one way actually happened in another, where the people who did things are not the real people who did them but patsies instead, where there are fake guilty parties for fake events for fake victims killed by fake substances they were never exposed to.

Where there are calls for trial and punishment of people who were framed for things they did not do, where victims are directed to the wrong perpetrators and urged to attack them, where public opinion is stirred and aroused by what boils down to a pile of fakery.

Or a Hollywood movie. Or a book. Or a TV show. The stuff that happens there isn’t real. The Deep State, the media and the West create a fake reality that is like a movie or a book, a fictional reality, and they overlay it on top of actually existing reality, so we think the movie or book or fictional world is the real thing.

What this boils down is that they are making it so we can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality, lies and truth, reality and unreality, existence and nonexistence, guilt and innocence, dreams and waking reality. What you end up with is a human that is a bundle of wild confusion that barely knows its ass from a hole in the ground because they’ve been brainwashed so thoroughly.

This is an easy object to mold for all sorts of other nefarious projects where you can pump new lies into these subject’s heads and get them aroused and agitated about new fictional worlds, while pointing at the real world, saying it’s not real, and saying that everyone who figures out that the real world is real is a mentally ill conspiracy theorist. This has the disturbing effect of labeling anyone who can tell reality from fiction as mentally ill, paranoid, and deranged. The only way to be sane is to say fiction is reality and reality is fiction. In other words, the only way to be “sane” in such a world is to be crazy!

And if you try to “go sane” and get away from the mass psychosis you are thrown into, you get the ultimate gaslighting, reputation and career destruction, ridicule, etc.

This is truly a world turned upside down. It’s Wonderland. A whole lot of stuff out there you think is real isn’t even there at all. And a whole lot of stuff you laugh and say isn’t out there is sitting right in front of your nose.

It’s the creation of mass mental disorder, delusion, and psychosis on the level of hundreds of millions of people at once, all with the same symptoms, and then giving militaries mass weaponry to blow things up and kill lots of people based on what are psychotic delusions. So hundreds of thousands of people die because hundreds of millions of people in the West are delusional and threw bombs at these people when they were in the midst of a full blown psychosis.

The West ends up being, in effect, not just mentally ill but dangerously mentally ill. Or criminally mentally ill. Those are the most disturbed criminals of all. In California they go to Atascadero. Whole societies are dangerously and criminally mentally ill and attack hundreds of thousands of innocent people due to crazy ideas in their heads. Most of the West ends up deserving to be locked away for life in Atascadero with John Hinkley, Arthur Brenner, and the rest of the crazy maniacs.

Repost: A Look at the Cluster B Personality Disorders: Narcissistic, Psychopathic, Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorders

This is an old post that people are commenting on. I just reread it and it’s so good that I thought it was good for a repost. I’m actually shocked at how good it is. I’m reading it and I’m thinking, “Wait. I wrote this? No way, forget it. I’m not that good.” But maybe so, eh?

Rahul: Have you met someone with multiple Cluster B personality disorders?

Nope. I have never even met one person with a diagnosed Cluster B disorder, much less multiple ones. Each disorder is its own syndrome, and I doubt if many people get diagnosed with multiple Cluster B disorders.

But I have met people who I thought were psychopaths or had psychopathic traits or Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).

I’ve met people with obvious Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

I’ve never met anyone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), but I have met people who I believe had it, and my friends and relatives knew people who had it.

I’ve never met a Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) or anyone who I thought had it.

These are the “Insufferable Asshole/Total Fucking Bitch” Personality Disorders. They can also be called the “Satanic Monster Straight from Hell” Disorders. For the most part, from my vantage as an introvert, most all of these people are anywhere from lousy to out and out horrible people. All the men are assholes. And all the women are psychobitches.

The common denominator in the Cluster B disorders is drama and chaos. All of these disorders generate large amounts of both. Another common trend is profound selfishness or self-centeredness. A lot don’t care much about most other people. And even when they do, they typically don’t treat them very well.

Cluster B types are extremely crafty, and many hazy Borderline women with Borderline traits without the full disorder are able to function quite well in society, albeit their personal lives are typically mired in drama and chaos, the two hallmarks of BPD.

These women are called “High-Conflict Women,” and they are literally everywhere, walking landmines stalking our society in plunging necklines and yoga pants. They’re bait, the flashing lure of the femme fatale darting through the human current, daring you to bite.

A female psychologist runs a website warning men about these psychobitches. The page I saw ran to 500 pages. These women typically hook up with good, decent, nice men. These men are very good people. I suppose you could call them nice guys except that the term has been so abused nowadays. These bitches attach to these men like remoras and literally suck the life out of them like any parasite does.

The therapist states that there is basically no cure for High-Conflict Women, or if they do get cured, you never know when it might happen, so you should not hang around suffering for a day that may never come. Recovery, if at all, may be decades into the future.

Why they attach to these good, kind, decent men is unknown, but they probably think these guys are suckers or doormats for their abuse. Face it, very few hard masculine men are going to cotton to these harridans. These women don’t end up with typical macho men because most of these guys would probably just kill these fucking bitches.

These Cluster B types can be very crafty and are often able to control their behavior very well. They are like the boss who sucks up to her superiors and then turns around and beats up her underlings.

Many Cluster B’s are “controlled” Cluster B’s such as “controlled psychopaths,” etc. The controlled psychopath type spends their life riding on the edge of the law, sometimes barely slipping over. Yet old studies show that most psychopaths never spend a day in a jail or prison. Instead they are what I would call “legal criminals.” They’re slippery as eels and oily as kerosene.

“Legal criminals” as in, say, our President for instance, who is absolutely a case of severe NPD. In fact he has a malign variety of NPD called Malignant Narcissism, the most extreme type of NPD. This is narcissism that has gone so far off the rails that it is moving out of narcissism and heading off towards psychopathy.

One famous clinician from the psychoanalytic days described Malignant Narcissism as “pure evil.” Indeed, a few serial killers have been Malignant Narcissists. I think the best diagnosis for Ted Bundy is not psychopathy but Malignant Narcissism, and I am not alone.

So our great MAGA president has literally the exact same mental disorder as Ted Bundy has. Let that sink in. Donald Trump is Ted Bundy. Granted, Trump is a controlled variety, a “legal criminal,” and Bundy was a severely uncontrolled variety, but they both have the same disorder.

Oh one more thing. It is universally acknowledged among clinicians that if Malignant Narcissists are anything, they are dangerous. Every one of them, no exceptions. So Mr. Trump is a dangerous man, but most Americans can probably figure that out by now.

The two disorders, narcissism and psychopathy, are on a continuum, with one view having psychopathy as an extreme version of narcissism.

Histrionic PD has typically been thought of as “psychopathy in the female.” This is correct as psychopathy in women is not nearly as bad as it is in men, and it typically results in this lousy woman called “the whore.”

Indeed, 45% of all female prostitutes are diagnosed psychopaths, which should not surprise you if you know anything about these women. Most prostitutes are a step away from being out and out thieves, and quite a few of them actually are small time thieves. A thief and a whore, same thing in my book! But the thievery occurs in the context of sex and a lot of alcohol and drug abuse, and charges are rarely filed.

They’re the bitches you go out on a date with, and when it’s over, you are $50 poorer (which you had no intention to spend – she just weaseled it out of you), and you didn’t even get laid. And yes, that sentence is autobiographical.

An argument has been made recently that BPD is simply psychopathy in the female. Traditionally it was thought of as “narcissism in the female.” Men get NPD, women get BPD, but it’s the same disorder just presenting differently between the sexes. As I alluded above, HPD has often been thought of as “psychopathy in the female.” Men get psychopathy, women get HPD,  but once again it’s the same animal varying by gender. This HPD female psychopath is the femme fatale or the basic “whore” personality.

They’re bad human beings, but psychopathy in the male is so much worse because psychopathic men are so much more physically dangerous, whereas women are not particularly violent physically. Psychopathic men cause far more damage to society than psychopathic women do. Women can be verbally and spiritually violent, and they can kill a man’s soul if he doesn’t toughen up enough, but they are typically not physically violent. Women almost seem to have an inborn aversion to physical violence. They nearly recoil at the mention of it.

Whores just lighten your wallet, often unsuspectingly. Male psychopaths, at least the uncontrolled type, are often literally monsters who commit a tremendous amount of aggression; abuse other humans wantonly, callously, and habitually; and feel not one iota of guilt about any of it. A female psychopath might take your money, but a male psychopath might take your life.

Cluster B folks are extremely manipulative, so they are often able to hide their disorder while at work. Narcissists are experts at this, and psychopaths are always hiding their illness by the very nature of the condition. They don’t call it the “mask of sanity” for nothing. Poor functioning BPD’s often cannot work at all. But some very bad ones are able to control the illness the whole time they are at work, yet the minute they get home, the psychobitch comes out to play, and they abuse, manipulate, gaslight, and generally drive insane any other main person in their lives, typically a husband or boyfriend.

I had a female physician client like this. She had an extremely kind face, and she rescued stray animals, especially cats. She was a good doctor and a model of sanity at the hospital, but the minute she got home, the human black widow spider leaped out and sucked her husband into her devious crazy-making nightmare of a web.

That’s why I don’t have a lot of sympathy for these “Asshole/Bitch Disorders.” When I realized that they could control it completely for eight hours at work only to unleash their terror and entropy the moment they walk into the front door to come home, I lost sympathy for them.

I thought, “They can control it. They’re just choosing not to.” And indeed, most Cluster B’s very much enjoy being horrible. They get a kick out of it.

Narcissists love to be assholey jerks. It’s entertainment to them.

Psychopaths of course live to prey on other humans, often abusing them sadistically for sheer kicks.

BPD women can be profoundly mean, and I think they might get off on being superbitches. They also seem to actually enjoy being crazy. I had a BPD client, the most severe case of BPD I have ever seen, who honestly didn’t want to give up her disorder. I finally concluded that she actually enjoyed being nuts. Maybe it’s exciting? My sister knows BPD’s very well, as she has dealt with many of them as part of an outpatient program she goes to. She affirmed to me that BPD women very much enjoy being crazy.

Female Histrionic PD femme fatales and Mata Hari types exploit, manipulate, connive, con, and in one way or another steal from others, particularly their male partners who are driven to Hell and back. I’ve never known one, but I imagine they get a lot of kicks out of this wild, sadistic, exploitative, and at times psychotic condition. They certainly lead “wild lives.” They probably get about as much fun out of being wicked HPD’s as male psychopaths get out of being sociopathic. Apparently a sociopathic lifestyle is quite a kick.

I believe that what women want most in life is “peak emotional experiences.” So I just answered Freud’s baffled question. The emotions can be good, bad, or ugly; up, down, or all around, this way or that way; forwards, backwards, or standsill. It doesn’t particularly matter.

They’re all peak experiences, either good or bad, and this dramatic feral behavior seems to provide women with what they desire most in life.

If you think about it, women are like drug users. What are “peak emotional experiences?” They are “rushes.” So the woman lives for the rush, up or down doesn’t particularly matter, it’s all wildness and living life to the fullest as they see it.

And what happens when we take drugs? “Rushes.” They can be good, bad, or six ways from Sunday, especially when you get into the hallucinogens, but face it, it’s always a rush one way or another when you are high on dope. Without the rush, dope isn’t even dope. It’s nothing, a handful of leaves, sand, or water in your hands. Dope is literally the rush itself.

Rushes don’t have to be good. Even bad rushes can be good if you like it wild. The fear of the bad trip is part of the rush. Live dangerously. Roll your own cigarettes. Drink your scotch straight. Die with your boots on. These are the ways that men live wild lives, but women have their own version, which is more based on wild emotions themselves as described above.

Bottom line is that Cluster B people get along great in our society because they are extroverted and often successful. Many have excellent people skills. They are expert manipulators and they can get a lot done and achieve a lot of things, albeit sometimes via nefarious means. I would say that our culture itself is essentially a Sociopathic or Cluster B Culture. So America is a Cluster B country then.

Despite their success it’s obvious to me that almost all Cluster B’s are either an insufferable assholes, sheer monsters, or psychobitches from Hell at least part the time if not most of the time. They’re not very nice people, to put it mildly.

But our society likes angry, aggressive, Type A extroverted assholes. We are an “asshole society.” Look at our president. Real close. Trump is is us, me and you and him and her. He’s our reflection in the mirror. He’s all around us every day, everywhere we go. Trump is the quintessential American – the good, the bad, and the ugly, the whole nine yards.

You would think that being a total bitch or a huge raging asshole would get you fired from a few jobs here and there, and sometimes Cluster B’s do lose jobs.

Borderlines can be so disturbed that they can’t work at all.

Almost all narcissists can work and they often rise to high levels in society.

Controlled psychopaths can work and often rise to very high levels. They do tend to get fired more than average, but they usually land on their feet and bounce right back like nothing happened.

Histrionics can definitely work, albeit often at shady jobs. Many prostitutes, porn stars, cam girls, strippers, and so on have Histrionic PD. And if you study the life history of a lot of these women, many of them are lousy people.

Never get involved with a whore or a prostitute. It’s one of the worst mistakes you can make as a man. Some strippers are ok, but even those are often moody and nutty. And they tend to be huge prick teasers. A lot of HPD’s have the callous exploitative character of the prostitute.

A lot of female porn stars seem to be horrible human beings. On the other end, I’ve never known a female porn star. But reading around, many act very bad, and they are often arrested and are in and out of jail, especially after they leave the industry. Many have serious drug problems while working and afterwards. Suicides are surprisingly common. I would not get involved with a porn star if I were you.

Many prostitutes, strippers, and porn stars are low level thieves. Callous, hard, cold thieving bitches. All of these prostitute types are exploitative, mercenary women who regard men as walking ATM’s, and, like all “whore” types, are out to drain your wallet and bank account, run up all your credit cards, and then leave you high and dry, spinning in a circle, feeling like a hurricane just hit you, and thinking, “What was that?” This is exactly the experience many victims of male psychopaths also describe.

Alt Left: Four Types of Transgender People

Interesting post from Claudius about transgenderism. I don’t completely agree with it, but it’s more right than wrong.

Transgenderism is mostly a fad because not all gay men who “transition” become hookers. In fact, many are too ugly and masculine for straight men. These I would call “fad trannies.” Not technically insane though the cult itself is suffering from collective insanity, mostly as a form of political and emotional rebellion against conservatives.

So there are four groups:

  • Gay hookers
  • SJW gay fags
  • Autogynephiliacs
  • The vanishingly small number of people truly suffering from gender dysphoria

The latter two groups are truly insane, but only the last one is deserving of our sympathy and collective medical and legal effort, to wit, they should be legally considered the gender they feel like and actually be encouraged to take hormones and chop off their dick. I doubt even 0.1% of the population would meet the criteria for real gender dysphoria.

Autogynephiliacs should not be legally considered their gender of choice under any circumstances. Why? Because they are straight and thus attracted to the opposite gender. These trannies are potential rapists of women, although I don’t think they pose an overall large threat to anybody save themselves. But you’re right about them having many comorbid paraphilias. These are truly sick fuckers. Look at ContraPoints’s YouTube channel..

“She” is a lesbian tranny. Lolz.

Also note that the first group, gay hookers, don’t chop off their dick. Almost all tranny prostitutes here, in Thailand, or wherever keep their dick because men like to play with it and sometimes be fucked by it. The economic incentive is quite strong, casting doubt as to whether these tranny hookers ever even had gender dysphoria in the first place.

From what I’ve read, men with gender dysphoria are appalled by their own penis and truly want to get rid of it. The prospect of keeping it to make a few bucks on the side by forming non-emotional relationships with straight men doesn’t add up.

RL: It seems to be an extreme form of homosexuality, and their brains are actually female-shifted. That is, they don’t have female brains or male brains.”

I didn’t know this. Interesting. It matches up with what I said. They are just super-duper gay. I like these trannies. They seem very nice, albeit a bit gold-diggerish, but whatever. I could be friends with these people.

Psychotic autogynephiliacs like ContraPoints or Caitlyn Jenner who killed someone with “her” SUV while escaping paparazzi, Hell no! BTW it was an accident, the SUV crash, but still.

The Drive to Annihilation in the Masculine (Homicidal) and Feminine (Suicidal) Characters

The Annihilatory or Destructive Drive at the Core of the Human Character

Both males and females have a drive to destruction as part of their core Characters. This is obviously a downside of any human’s character, but both the Masculine and Feminine  Characters are probably 50% good and 50% bad. Think of the good side as the bright side of the moon you see at night. The bad side of the Character is like the dark side of the moon and hopefully it acts like it. You know full well it’s there even though you never see it.

At other times you see it in spades, and many people, especially as they get older, turn the mirror around and only show the back side of it to people. All you see is the bad aspects of the Character. The good side is probably still there in most of them, and you may even see it peek out some of the time.

Both males and females have a drive to destruction as part of their core Characters. This is obviously a downside of any human’s character, but both the Masculine and Feminine  Characters are probably 50% good and 50% bad.

Think of the good side as the bright side of the moon you see at night. The bad side of the Character/Gender is like the dark side of the moon and hopefully it acts like it. You know full well it’s there even there even though you never see it.

The Annihilatory or Destructive Component in  the Masculine Character

In the male the drive to destruction is projected outwards, which is what males do with most destructive emotions. Sending negative emotions inside of yourself is considered to be pussy, weak, female, acting like a bitch, etc. “Manning up” usually means nothing more than projecting your crap outwards as opposed to inwards.

The Masculine Character has a destructive aspect, and it is dark indeed. It is frankly homicidal and most men are homicidal either consciously or consciously or at least they were as boys, when they projected their murderousness onto non-human creatures and converted it to fistfights with the males they are around.

However, it is very hard for a boy to be truly homicidal and murder another human being, either another boy or a man. Something stops them. This is odd because they spend a lot of time killing non-human things like bugs, and they physically fight each other regularly. Yet the fights seldom end in serious damage and always stop short of homicide.

So in the boy, the homicidal impulse is there most of the time, but it is transformed into playing with army men and toy guns, berry and dirt clod wars with other teams of boys (this mirrors small-scale tribal warfare), physical fighting which causes little damage, and murder of non-human lower-level creatures.

Yet as a boy grows into a man he is supposed to abandon this overt destruction and sadism of boyhood, as retaining is seen as acting like a boy, not a man. Such a young man will be told to “Grow up!” by other men. The sadistic boyhood monster begins being berated in adolescence, and at some point the blows may become physical. In this way, the core destructive sadism of the boy is transformed into the calm and controlled man.

Nevertheless, I don’t think the homicidality ever goes away. I spent most of my young adulthood in a homicidal frame of mind, directed at my enemies of course, always other men. Yet I scarcely harmed a soul and only acted on it once when I tried to kill a man who was trying, frankly, to kill me! And that was not fun. It was the worst experience of my life.

So even younger men who feel homicidal most of the time, which is practically normal, will almost never act on it, and if they ever do, they are quickly transported to the 9th circle of Hell. The homicidality is meant to be fantasy only. It’s supposed to go away in middle age, but I suspect that it just goes into hiding. I know my Killer Maniac is in me, as I feel him regularly. Yet he’s locked in a maximum security prison in my gut, and like Hell he will ever feel the light of day.

At its worst, the other-destructive aspect of the Masculine Character is truly black and horrible and actually manifests as a desire to destroy on a significant basis either objects, animals, or other humans. It’s an “obliterating” tendency. At its core, this black desire seems to be a desire to destroy the entire world and everything in it. Truly awful, but no man will come close to realizing it.

Radical feminists have done a good job of portraying the bad side of men, and the best of them have commented precisely about this homicidal character and in particular about its totalizing obliterative tendency. I’ve seen it described as a desire to obliterate the entire universe. That is when I knew that this particular radfem truly had her finger on the male pulse.

The Annihilatory or Destructive Component in  the Feminine Character

Men project their pain outwards onto others, and women push it inwards into the self. This manifests in all sorts of ways that I assume the reader is more than familiar with.

Freud even suggested that the female, at her core, is essentially a masochist. This may be true that the aspect of her destructive character is masochistic. This follows from the description above describing the male, at his core, is essentially a sadist.

Indeed, many women behave in variations of a masochistic manner in bed, and masochism is deeply tied into female sexuality. It’s usually milder than the truly hardcore masochism seem in female submissives, sex slaves, etc. involved in sick relationships with sadistic male dominants or doms, but the BD/SM dynamic is simply the basic male/female human dynamic taken to its logical extreme. Most folks are not BD/SM’ers, but a mild form of it is virtually normal in the sexuality of both genders.

This destructive nature in the female is pushed inwards, hence women are rarely homicidal, and they are terrible killers anyway due to their physical weakness. Further, women seem to have an almost genetic aversion to engaging in physical violence, probably evolved for good reasons.

A woman can and will kill you psychologically, spiritually, and verbally and the results are often severe. But she will probably not kill you.

Whereas another man can murder you at just about any time and place. Most men understand this, hence their cautious, excessively friendly, and solicitous attitude towards other men. The message behind this groveling is usually something like, “Please don’t punch me in the face! Place don’t murder me, sir!” Any man who has not developed a healthy terror of other men will surely die young and will often meet a violent end.

The landscape of love is littered with the broken souls of men who have been frankly destroyed by females in this manner in the course of a relationship. One of the most important things to learn as a man is to toughen up enough so much that it is difficult if not impossible for a woman to commit soul-murder against you, since if you have any success with women at all, some will attempt this.

The more women you get involved with, the more attempts at soul murder are launched against you, hence Chads and Alphas are often quite cynical about women, having seen the bad side of the female in spades (in addition to ample heaps of the good side too). The player simply thinks that the punishments are the price you pay for the considerable rewards. Most players have had quite a few women launch elaborate, often long-term and severe attempts at soul murder against them.

If they can’t tough it out and take it, these men simply stop the playboy game, marry up, and go more or less monogamous. Those still in the game have been targeted many times and have plenty of war stories to tell.

The destructive aspect of the female character then is self-destructive. We see this in elevated rates of depression, eating disorders, self-harm including cutting, and the high rate of suicide attempts. Females attempt suicide five times more than men, but are usually unsuccessful and most attempts are theatrical and not intended to succeed. It’s more of a cry for attention to her pain from others.

But I am convinced that the drive to suicidality is at the core of the Feminine Character. I’ve seen far too many women, even those very close to me, become suicidal at some point in their lives. My own mother was for a while.

At one time very recently, every woman I had dated recently, which added up to four or five, were all either actively suicidal or had recently attempted (usually theatrical) suicide. The attempters were older women age ~50, and the fantasists were younger ones, 18 and 19 year old teenage girls and a 27 year old woman.

I assume the suicidality acquires a more serious and lethal character as the woman ages. Notably, all three of the older women had never had children. Having living children is one thing that keeps many or most women from ending their lives. They are literally staying alive for their children. If a female has no children, she literally has no reason to be on this Earth, such is the intensity of the maternal instinct.

Furthermore, in the women above, I noticed that there seemed to be an actual love of suicidality as if they were in a love affair with this feeling. Hence I came to see it as an “essential drive” in women’s lives. Most women never suicide but the drive is probably there off and on throughout life.

Lesser forms of this include the extreme forms of self-sacrifice women engage in for others which is related to this remora-like attachment they form with others. The extreme attachment may not be for a husband or boyfriend alone but may instead be of the  mother in the case of a teenage girl or for her children in the case of an mother.

The female of many mammal will literally sacrifice her life to save others, most particularly her children. You see this same suicidal destructiveness to defend the offspring from threats in many lower mammals. It is especially prominent and can even be lethal in bears.

It’s even present in lower life forms such as birds. A section of trail in the Sierra Nevada had to be closed because the trail went by a Cooper’s Hawk’s nest, and the female kept dive-bombing hikers and aiming the talons at their heads.

Once I was fishing on the Eel River in California near Dos Rios where they Middle Fork enters the stream. If you ever want to o to a truly beautiful part of the US, go there. Across from me on the other side of the river was a large bird that looked like an eagle. It was extremely agitated the whole time I was there, flying haphazardly in small circles and squawking incessantly. I later figured out that this was a nesting female Osprey. Apparently I was too close to her nest, and this was making her agitated.

The self-destructive nature of the Feminine Character can be tied into the intense attachment they form for others. There are many cases on record in warfare of women avenging the deaths of their men in suicidal charges. A notable one occurred among Taiwanese aborigines when 100 women of a tribe suicidally attacked a Japanese contingent that had killed their men. As they charged, they yelled, “You have killed all of our men, now you will have to kill all of us!” All of the women died, but there may have been some Japanese casualties.

As we see above the female will give her life for others, especially her children or even her husband. Most human mothers will sacrifice themselves for their children or at least they say they will. And they have no fear of the death that will result.

I recently dated an 18 year old girl who had formed a severe attachment to her mother, whom she worshiped with reverence. One time she told me of this elaborate, bizarre fantasy of hers, which involved killing herself, except that the suicide would be done somehow to protect her mother. She seemed to be a state of rapture when she described this plan to me. She was in love with this plan. This desire to kill herself to protect her mother seemed to be one of the most important and beloved themes in her life.

Alt Left: More on Trannies, November 2020 Edition

Claudius: They (trannies) are gay hookers fighting for their libertarian right to transition so they can get straight male sugar daddies and clients. It’s a booming business. Just look at Thai ladyboys making a living off sex tourists.

That’s only 11% and it does look like some biological disorder. It seems to be an extreme form of homosexuality, and their brains are actually female-shifted. That is, they don’t have female brains or male brains.

Their male brains are shifted halfway towards the female brain structure, so in the areas where male and female brains differ, these men have brains halfway between male and female brains.

It’s absolutely a biological syndrome and I would give them the right to transition. There’s something clearly off with their brains. Also this type of tranny is very nice and even a lot of the TERF radical feminists don’t like them too much. They’re appalled by the belligerent and menacing behavior of the autogynophile kooks. Also, they love the word tranny. They call each other trannies all the time. They think it’s a funny word. It’s the autogynophile snowflakes that have decided that tranny is some evil bigoted slur that means you’re a Nazi.

But no one is born in the wrong body. No man is born with a female brain and stuck in the wrong male body and no woman is born with a male brain and stuck in the wrong female body. That’s just part of the crazy lying tranny propaganda, but a large percentage of the population actually believes this bullshit.

Claudius: The only crazy trannies are the straight males who are turned on by cross-dressing, the so called autogynephiliacs.

Yeah, but that’s 89% of them. Those are the nuttiest of all of them. They have more mental disorders than any other group we see clinically. They have very high levels of other paraphilias, and they commit sex crimes at a high rate. Many are on area sex offender lists. A fair number of them are actually dangerous.

They are also extremely loud, belligerent, and vindictive and even aggressive and menacing. They have taken over whole corporations. For instance, the Twitter moderation team has been infiltrated by this type of tranny and this person(s) uses their power to ban people from Twitter. We even know their names. This is the guy that got me banned from Twitter for life for telling the truth about trannies:

RL: There’s no such thing as transgender people. They’re all just mentally ill.

That’s what I said. For that crime, I now have a lifetime ban from Twitter thanks to some crazy autogynophile tranny piece of shit.

Malignant Narcissism Redux: The “Personality of the Dictator” and How to Be a God among Men

Ted Bundy was a malignant narcissist. Donald Trump literally has the same psychiatric diagnosis as Ted Bundy. Sit back and let that sink in a moment.

I noted that the malignant narcissist is “the personality of the dictator,” as I call it. Is Mr. Trump not an incipient dictator, cut loose at the last moment by his long-suffering subjects? Most malignant narcissists are not dictators, of course. There aren’t enough job openings for that position to go around. But are they nevertheless, shall we say, dictators among men? Perhaps.

In the World of Women, Ted Bundy stood tall. He strode like a king. One could even say that he reigned supreme. If God is the dictator of the cosmos, Ted was an earthly counterpart. Ted held the power of life and death over countless women. That’s what God does. He holds the power of life and death over humans.

Was that why he did it? Who knows? After decades of studying psychopaths, I’m about ready to throw in the towel. It’s one of those crazy things where after studying  something for many years, it seems like you know less than when you began. When you started out, your mind was full of certainties. Now that you have plumbed to the depth of the subject, they’ve all dissolved into unanswerable questions that only beget more and more questions in a maze with no beginning, no end, and no escape.

I think the only way to understand someone like that is to be one, and even if you were one, you might not be able to explain why you act that way. For while these people are not crazy at all and are in fact some of the sanest people on Earth, at the same time, they are profoundly sick, and in some ways, while being formally sane, I now believe that these are some of the most disturbed people around. Disturbed? Yes. Sick? Yes. Bad, evil? Yes. Crazy? ‘Fraid not. Sane? Sadly yes, and this is precisely why they are so dangerous. If they were nuts, we could more easily spot and protect ourselves form them.

Most people can’t wrap their minds around that conundrum at all. How can you be sick, disturbed, bad, and evil and yet completely sane and not the slightest bit nuts? Think about it. See if you can get it. I only figured it out in the last 10 years or so. I’ll give you a gold star if you can see it.

Ever felt like killing someone? Of course, being human and especially male, I’ve had these feelings.

Once I discussed them with a therapist. I told him about how sometimes I couldn’t get rid of them, so I would just sit there and be with them and try to get as comfortable as I could, knowing I wouldn’t do it.

“I am going to kill you,” I would think.

“And how does that feel?” he asked.

“Wow!” I said. “It’s the most powerful feeling you can possibly imagine! You sit there looking at someone and thinking, ‘I am going to kill you right now’ (though you know you won’t do it), and you get calm and relaxed with it, and you are literally one hundred feet tall! You feel like God! Like God himself!”

“That’s right,” he said. “Only God can give and take a life. When you assign yourself that power, you are as big as God. That’s one reason people do that, kill people. To feel as big as God. It’s the ultimate power rush.”

I don’t recommend feeling that way but it’s not a bad way to feel if you really, really hate someone.

Alt Left: The Worst Person on Earth

Elon Musk. No ifs, ands, or butts about it. Actually, Donald Trump, another billionaire – natch – is so much worse, but for the purposes of creative flair, let’s keep the title the same. Besides, he deserves the reverse accolades.

Ok, he’s the second worst person on Earth.

Donald Trump is the worst person on Earth. He is also a narcissistic psychopath, or a malignant narcissist. This personality, the early researchers of which designated it “the closest thing on Earth to ‘pure evil’ to me is “the personality of the dictator.” I believe many dictators, especially the murderous ones, were malignant narcissists. His own father was a psychopath and possibly a malignant narcissist himself. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Got it. Now who’s the third worst person on Earth? Could it be anyone but the Libertarian (obviously – what else could he be) Jeff Bezos?

Bezos, a billionaire, is the richest man on Earth. He is also the third worst man on Earth. His income has doubled in the last year while the economy crashed and burned and the real humans writhed in the burning rubble, mouthing silent screams that no one heard.

Donald Trump, a billionaire,

Elon Musk, a billionaire, is the third richest man on Earth. he is the second worst person on Earth. His income also doubled in the last year in the midst of the worst economic crash since the Great Depression. He is mentally ill. He has Bipolar Disorder. Most of the time he is in the manic or hypomanic phase of the disorder. This is also part of why he is such a huge asshole, as manics are commonly some of the biggest assholes around.

Sometimes I call mania “Asshole Personality Disorder.” Musk also appears to have a serious narcissism problem and he may well have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Of course, mania and narcissism go together. One paper reckoned that everyone in the manic phase of the disorder met criteria for NPD.

Bernard Arnault is the second richest man on Earth. He is a billionaire. I know nothing about him, except that he probably adds very little value to the human race.

Mark Zuckerberg is a billionaire. He is easily the fourth richest man on Earth. Like Musk and Bezos, he is also extremely dangerous. In fact, Musk, Bezos, Trump, and Zuckerberg are probably the four most dangerous men on Earth at the moment. Zuckerberg is the fourth worst person on Earth, though it’s a close call between him and Bezos.

Bill Gates is the fifth richest man on Earth. He’s retired from business, so that means he can’t do any (or much) more damage. Notice when these guys quit the job of making money, they often turn into dramatically better human beings. While he was making money of course, Gates was a complete monster, with a moral compass as cockeyed as Ted Bundy’s.

In fact, I would call Bill Gates the Ted Bundy of the IT industry. He lied to, cheated, stole from and backstabbed everyone who ever had the misfortune of partnering with him (ring a bell with Mr. Trump?).

I doubt if Gates was a psychopath or a malignant narcissist as he seems cured now, and those disorders are incurable if anything is. But he sure acted the part. There is such a thing as “Antisocial Behavior” absent psychopathy. Many criminals fall into this category. Mafioso and their soldiers come to mind. They act terrible but they aren’t really terrible people deep down inside. It’s not that they are bad. It’s more that they act bad. Notice the difference.

Now that he has quit making money and hence has no need to foment evil anymore, Gates has, with the major assistance of his heartfelt wife, turned into a much better person. Has he yet dumped all of his antisocial BS? I’m not sure. But he’s a much better man than he used to be and in some ways, he is indeed a good person, maybe even a very good person.

Notice all it takes to turn a stone evil man into a near-saint? Just stop trying to make money. That’s all it takes. Making money turns you evil, by necessity probably. When you stop making money, the need for the evil behavior evaporates and one is free to act a lot better, assuming you have it in you in the first place. And Gates does.

While we are on the subject of monsters and billionaires, let us discuss…drum roll…Steve Jobs! A true monster among men, testified by everyone who ever worked with him, seconded by his very own long-suffering family. Jobs absolutely had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. One wonders if he was a malignant narcissist too.

Sorry Folks

Got all wrapped up in the election. Was legitimately so wrapped up in the election that I just couldn’t get it up enough to hop on over here to entertain y’all.

Then after the election, I got depressed for a while. I usually go down pretty hard as soon as the weather and time changes. Seasonal Affective Disorder it’s called. I was down hard for a week or two but now it seems to have lifted. But then we have hard warmer and sunnier weather.

When I was down, I felt pretty funny. I knew I was depressed and I kept telling myself I needed to snap out of it, but my depressed mind kept saying, “Why in the Hell do you want to be happy? Fuck happiness! Happiness is a drag. It’s stupid. Why not just be depressed. This is so much better. Besides, how could you not be depressed anyway.

Last year was the first year for a long time that I did not go down in the winter, but I was on an antidepressant the whole winter, often on a pretty high dose too. Lexapro 20-40 mg (often 30-40 mg.) if you are interested. I also take Wellbutrin  300 mg. every day, but I’m not sure exactly what it does. I do like to keep taking it though.

The Lexapro definitely has side effects I don’t like, but the Wellbutrin doesn’t seem to have any at all. I suppose it can raise your blood pressure, but I take blood pressure pills every day, so I should be all right. I can go up to 450 mg. but it’s a bit of a risk of seizures but not much – it goes up from .1 to .5.  Big deal. Wellbutrin is a very nice speedy non-sedating antidepressant that doesn’t kill your sex drive at all! In fact, it may even increase it. Side effects are pretty much zero for me. If anyone has issues in this area, I can’t recommend this drug highly enough.

Lexapro is nice too, especially at the higher doses of 30-40 mg. It’s sedating and it can kill your dick or orgasm in a variety of ways, depending on your age. But Lexapro is the least dick-killing of the SSRI’s. Not that I worry terribly about killing my dick nowadays. For all I know it’s probably barely alive as it is. Hell, killing it might even be a good thing. Put it out of its damned misery.

Forget about the Long QT or Torsades du points risk for Lexapro. I don’t know much about Torsades du points, but I know a bit about Long QT. It’s pretty much negligible risk unless you already have Long QT for a genetic reason or you are taking a drug that lengthens the QT interval.

Now if you are going to take a handful of them and try to overdose, it’s another matter, but those cases typically survived, and many did not even suffer Long QT.

Not that I recommend trying to kill yourself with a handful of pills. Basically attempting suicide with the new SSRI antidepressants is just stupid. It doesn’t seem to work very well, and all it does is put you in the hospital.

My father tried to kill himself with a handful of Benzodiazepines. He almost succeeded. He took about 40 of them. He almost died but he managed to survive. That’s another lousy drug to OD on.

A former girlfriend took a handful of Xanax benzos and had the cops come bust down her door. She just passed out. Didn’t even come close to dying.

Another girlfriend took a handful of assorted pills but just went to sleep a long time. I made fun of her, “Damn, you’re a loser! You’re such a failure you can’t even kill yourself!” She was Jewish so that was good for a belly-laugh. Self-deprecating humor and all that, Borscht Belt in upstate New York, right? Woody Allen was good at that, but I always liked Lenny Bruce better.

I had another girlfriend who took a handful of tricyclic antidepressants, and you’re damn right those will kill you. She was in a coma for three days.

In the last few years I dated a few young women. Three were suicidal, aged 18, 19, and 27. I’m starting to wonder how many young women nowadays are not suicidal. Are there any?

I am also starting to think  that Suicidality, that is, the urge towards self-annihilation, is an essential part of the Feminine Character. If you think  that’s bad, the correlate in  the Masculine  Character is a homicidal drive to annihilate the other. Neither is optimal but I think I’d rather live next door to the suicidal chick than the homicidal dude, all things considered.

Insight, Defenses, and the Ego-Syntonic/Ego-Dystonic and Crazy/Sick Binaries in Axis 1 and 2 Disorders

For the first time in my life a week ago, I experienced the thing that a lot of depressives experience. They actually want to be depressed. They like to be depressed. The depressed mind tells them that depression is simply normality. They don’t want to get better because they’re already normal. Some deeply depressed people don’t even realize they are depressed.

They’re on the verge of suicide, cutting themselves, with a mood blacker than a redfish in a steaming New Orleans kitchen, snapping at everyone, paranoid that all the happy people are secretly making fun of them, but they’re completely normal. They stand up and scream at psychiatrist after psychiatrist who tells them that they are deeply depressed. They are not, dammit! They’re perfectly normal! And they storm out of the office until the next time with the new doctor.

Finally someone slips them a handful of pills, and they start popping them. The permanent night goes away and the sun comes out for once. As the dawn begins to clear into the sharp light of day, the reality hammer hits them hard, and they realize just how sick they were.

The problem with these disorders is the part of the body that is sick is the brain. A working brain is necessary to figure out if you’re ok or not, and when you’re brain isn’t working, you’re incapable of recognizing that you are ill.

One former employee told me that once, this person asked Musk if he ever worried about losing his mind.

Musk replied: “Does a crazy person ever look in the mirror and know that he’s crazy?”

There you have it. Straight from the mouth of the Devil Himself. And of course Musk is nuts. He’s Bipolar. Almost all of his crazy behavior is happening when he is manic or hypomanic or whatever. I can look right through that article about him and see the mania raging through his life, unacknowledged, and of course consequently unhindered. There is a connection between mania (hypomania) and creativity, and Musk is nothing if not creative. One wonders if he treated his illness if then his creativity might decline in tandem with his (hypo)mania. Many people with Bipolar Disorder report just that.

Mania has the curious characteristic of not only making you nuts, but blinding you to that fact. As we just saw, depression can do that too. And I’ve finally figured out firsthand what I have been observing for years now – that depressed people actually like to be depressed and literally do not want to get better. The depression makes them incapable of wanting to get better.

Of course in psychosis no one thinks they are ill. That’s why they call it psychosis.

Axis 2 disorders also blind the person to the fact that they are ill but they do so in a different way because in personality disorders, the brain is usually fine, it’s more that the person’s true character is ill. People with personality disorders aren’t even crazy or mentally ill in a sense. Instead, they are sick. Sick at their very soul, at the very essence. Soul-sick.

Think of a psychopath. Is he crazy? Give it up. Of course he’s not nuts. Crazy as a fox, sure. But anyone who has spent any time around these people realizes that somehow there is something terribly wrong with them. It’s almost as if they are not quite human. They are more like animals, or better yet, machines. While they are surely disturbed, it’s clear that they aren’t the slightest bit crazy. The psychopath is one of the sanest people you’ll meet. So what is he if he’s not nuts? He’s sick. What is sick? His soul is sick. We are almost outside of crazy/sane here into the other binary of good/evil.

People with personality disorders never think anything is wrong with them because it is the core self, the true you, the real personality, that is sick. No one wants to think they’ve got a crappy personality. Deep down inside, everyone is just fine. Or at least that’s all they know. How can you be anything other than yourself? You can’t. So how can being you be wrong? It can’t. You don’t know how to be anything other than you so your true core self can never be sick, and you couldn’t figure out how to not be yourself anyway even if it was.

Personality disorders, along with paraphilias, are typically ego-syntonic, and the characteristic of ego-syntonic disorders is that people don’t think anything is wrong.

On the other hand, the anxiety disorders do not seem to be ego-syntonic in general. They’re quite ego-dystonic. It’s like you’ve got a monkey on your back. The person with the anxiety disorder says, “Get these thoughts/feelings out of my head/body! Make them go away! I hate them!” These disorders are quite painful but their ego-dystonic nature makes people want to seek help.

The anxiety disorders have always been a stick in the mud for Freudian pleasure principle theory because they make the person so miserable. But that only works if you see them as defenses, and I don’t think anxiety disorders are defenses.

Want to talk defenses? Personality disorders, right this way, in Display Number 2 over here. A wild bundle of defenses crafted into the the most Rube Goldbergian fortress you’ve ever seen with trap doors, stairways to nowhere, fake walls, hidden rooms, booby traps, decoys, the whole nine yards. The fortress is so huge and fortified that it’s not even working to protect the person anymore.

This is a person that has constructed a fortress so huge and complex to protect themselves that, while it’s protecting them for sure, it’s also causing more problems than it solving. A case of the cure is worse than the disease. Sort of like a country that spends itself bankrupt on defense and doesn’t have enough left over for food.

In fact, the person themselves tends to disappear in Personality Disorders, and all you see is this wild swirl of defenses. Now and then you can glimpse the real person when they surface a bit for some air before plunging back down to the Axis 2 depths, but it’s usually pretty well hidden.

It’s often quite shocking to glimpse the real person because you’ve been looking at the personality disorder so long that you’ve come to think that the disorder is the actual person. On the other hand, it’s a good question. Is the personality disorder the person themselves? Is there a true self down there somewhere amidst the whirlpool of defenses? I’m not sure.

Of course anxiety disorders are not defenses. They thought psychoses were defenses too. People were “activating psychotic defenses.” Well, for a defense, I must say that a psychosis has to be one of the lousiest ways to protect yourself that I can think of. Of course psychoses are not defenses. Nor are mood disorders. The manic is not engaging in “flight into reality.” How on Earth depression defends against anything on Earth is beyond me.

The Axis 1 Disorders – the mood, anxiety, and psychotic disorders – are simply illnesses like the illnesses you get in the other parts of your body. Only these illnesses affect your brain. When you get physically ill, is that some sort of defense? No doubt in that case cancer must be the biggest defense of them all.