Jason: The human mind is tricky. We don’t know what really harms someone. I do think verbal abuse does, but so much of that is people who have it coming.
I think child sexual abuse is very bad because it breaks trust with kids. I think what really is going on is that the guy doing it is someone they don’t like. It’s kind of like when men are cowards and women despise and henpeck them.
Nonetheless, I am not advocating legal child exploitation of any form. I mean, even if the guy is a trusting guy there are certainly limits of what he should be able to do to the child – JUST BECAUSE.
I hate to say this. I think some people who molest kids really love them. And nobody believes this but most pedophiles truly do love kids. Some don’t and are harmful to them, but if you spend any time studying pedophiles as I have, including reading on their forums, you will see that a lot of them absolutely adore children, especially the girl lovers.
Many say that they would be happy just hugging and cuddling with little girls. I suppose if they just kept it to that, I’m trying to figure out how it might be harmful, but there’s always the risk that they might escalate.
I’m not so deep into this insane New Prudery to think that adults hugging and cuddling with kids, especially if it is a parent figure, is going to harm them somehow.
I have heard of two cases of molestation in the family where both parents molested and had sex with the kids, and I did think these parents loved their kids. The kids went along with it and seemed to love it too. I’ve heard about a family where the uncles and cousins molested and had sex with the girls, and the girls seem to be into this too.
These are called Loving Families, and believe it or not, I have now met three different women who were members of these weird things called Loving Families.
Two were 18 years old.
One was 18 years old, the oldest of three sisters. The parents had molested her and were currently molesting or having sex with all of her sisters. The parents started them at age 5. The girls also had sex with the fathers’ friends. I talked to this woman from a far off land for a little while until she send me some highly illegal material (you can guess what it was).
I blocked her immediately but I didn’t report her to the website. I’m softhearted and she was very kind and sweet to me, so why ruin her life? She lived thousands of miles away, and everyone seemed to be having a good time, no matter how weird it was.
Quite some time ago, I talked to an 18 year old girl from Pennsylvania who was part of one of these families where the uncles and male cousins molested the girls. She had two sisters, one 9 and one 14. I think they started her at age 8. I didn’t turn her in. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Thing is when they start them early like that and make it a family affair, I hate to say it but the girls seem to enjoy it. Perhaps they wrap everyone in to a secrecy pact. You tell the police and your Mom and Dad and maybe your sisters, cousins, and uncles go to prison for the rest of their lives. Who wants to do that to their own family?
I met another one, a 24 year old woman. Her mother and father had molested and had sex with her since, yep, age 5. She continued to have sex with the stepfather. She was the one who introduced me to the phrase Loving Families. I didn’t turn her in either. She seemed to have enjoyed this and didn’t seem to be harmed by it.
I have no idea what to do about this extreme weirdness. I don’t want to live in a society where most kids grow up in crazy families like this. I don’t want it to be the norm where most kids get molested. But the kids in these families do not seem to be being harmed, and even as adults, they carry on. This whole thing is beyond my paygrade, I’m afraid. I’m also wondering how common this weird stuff is.
I haven’t any idea about molestation outside the family. I know two women who got molested by pedophiles. Both were 50 years old and had completely gotten over it and perhaps had been over it for a very long time. They had a “so what” attitude about it. They told me that the pedophiles were pleasant enough. It wasn’t an act of hatred, contempt, cruelty, or evil. Perhaps many are tender and kind to the kids. But that doesn’t make it an ok thing to do!
You see, pedophiles actually think that what they do with kids is good for the kids. It’s not true in most cases, but this is probably what they have to believe to continue to have this orientation. Anyway, it is part of the “package” that comes along with pedophilia – the notion that little kids are not harmed by sex with adults.
I can’t think of any reason we adults should be molesting the little children. It’s always going to go on, so we should try to lessen the harm of it in any way we can. I can’t see how it could be a good idea to let adults do this to kids legally though. This behavior would explode. I don’t care whether the kids get harmed or not. I simply don’t want to live in a world where getting molested is a normal part of children’s growing up processes.
I think a lot of the family stuff with the fathers molesting the girls is pretty abusive, and the girls don’t seem to be into it, but it’s not true in all cases.
I knew a woman who was molested by an older teenage brother starting at age 5. She didn’t seem to be harmed by it, and she was very apologetic and protective towards him. He’s now a relatively famous millionaire real estate developer with his own mansion and private helicopter, and he appears in the society pages regularly. And he’s virtually a child molester!
I know a woman, aged 56, who was molested by her father and most definitely was not happy about it. She was still angry about it many decades later.
I met another women who had been molested by her father starting at age 5, believe it or not. And she claimed to have completely enjoyed it.
I met a woman from an African country whose boyfriend was her father. They had been together since age 11, and she was 23 now. She was working as a prostitute. Apparently she was very much in love with her father.
It’s obvious that there are girls who get molested and somehow or other enjoy it and they continue to feel this way far into adulthood. It’s a toxic issue and obviously it can’t be discussed. It might be nice to do some research to see how common this reaction is though.
Probably because I hang out on porn blogs and in porn chatrooms, I’ve met a number of women who had positive experiences with this sort of thing, but maybe my sample is biased because of where I meet these women. It’s not uncommon at all for women who have porn blogs to say they enjoyed being molested. Some have even turned them into a theme for their blogs. The theme is “I was molested and I liked it.” The porn posts tend to be a lot of older man very young woman stuff, and the men are often decades older. They often have captions labeling the older men as fathers and the young women as daughters, so there’s an incest tie-in.
You certainly hear about a lot of girls getting harmed by Daddy or Uncle molesting them, but I simply haven’t met many of them. I’d love to talk to some to get another perspective. If you know any women who had this reaction and want to talk about it, send them my way, please.
In a lot of these cases, the father or other men molesting the little girls are not pedophiles, and the molestation seems to be part of a larger pattern of abuse, verbal, psychological, physical, and then the sexual gets tossed in too.
There was a very famous child porn case in the last couple of decades involving a bodybuilder father who had custody of his little girl who made videos of him having sex with her. The father said that he and the daughter were “having a love affair.”
I know what was in the movies, but for God’s sake, I’m not going to tell you, and Hell no, I haven’t watched them. I can’t even remember the names of the videos. They are all named after the girl who was in them and they are quite famous.
I did watch a perfectly G-rated clip from one of those movies. It shows the girl sitting in a chair for 5 minutes or so. She may be answering questions. Actually that clip really disturbed me because she was so little, and you knew what was going to happen later. She’s very young in the tape, maybe 9-11 years old, and that’s most what makes the tape so shocking and upsetting.
The girl became very famous because the movies got distributed all over the world. Supposedly 5 million people watched them. In the videos people said you that could see that this girl really did love her father. Well, she probably did love her father. At the time.
Later on this girl got teased all through junior high and high school about being a world-famous child porn star, and it got to her after a while. As a woman she changed her mind and decided that she had been molested after all, and that it was not cool. She developed the typical post-molestation symptoms of guilt, shame, confusion, etc.
She sued 1,5oo men who downloaded her videos for everything they had. She took one man for millions. People on the Net were criticizing her for being out for money and claimed that she was obviously enjoying the sex with her father at the time. Sure she was, but she wasn’t enjoying it later on, and the “later on” is the important part. I’m not particularly troubled that she took these guys for a lot of money. She did get harmed after all.
Actually this “change of mind followed by psychological harm in adulthood” happens all the time with this sort of thing, especially with teenage girls.