Every shithead on the Internet thinks he knows what “narcissism” is. After all, it’s the topic du jour. We’re all 15 minutes of fame rockstars now with social media and whatnot. Problem is almost none of these boneheads save the ones that are truly looking into the issue (and some of them are excellent!) have any idea of what they’re talking about.
“Narcissism” nowadays is junk speech, a junk word. It’s floating about the Idiocracy like smog and stings the eyes about as much. Sure, there’s a lot of it about (hence it’s on the tongue-tips), but that doesn’t mean most have the slightest idea of what it is.
One therapist said I didn’t have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. NPD is, in a word, pathological narcissism. If you’re a “narcissist” then you have pathological narcissism or NPD. Problem here is we are all narcissists! We are all narcissistic! We’d clearly be dead without it. You don’t put yourself first and you’re gone soon enough. At some point, altruism is simply suicidal.
He also said that narcissism is simply another word for self-esteem. I like that, and I agree! I you have low self-esteem, you have low narcissism. If you have adequate self-esteem, you have adequate narcissism. If you have high self-esteem, you have high narcissism.
And he noted that high self-esteem or high narcissism is generally seen as a sign of good mental health. But even if you have high narcissism, you are not considered to be either narcissistic or a narcissist! Because those terms are only applied to those who have too much of a good thing, that good thing being narcissism.
One of my first therapists kept talking about “egotism” but he kept shrugging his shoulder and saying, “So what? You’re an egotist. What’s wrong with that?” He had a huge ego himself so I think he was talking about himself there too.
I had an ex-girlfriend who kept mentioning “ego” when talking about me.
I had another recent girlfriend who shook her head and said:
You know, I often think about complimenting you to boost your ego, but then I look at you (the size of your ego), and I think that wouldn’t be a good idea.
In other words, complimenting me would be just throwing more fuel on the ego brush fire. Why help out an arsonist?
Around the same time, I had another girlfriend who referring to me as “self-impressed.” She didn’t like it either. Like, at all. Thing was I didn’t care. If I was self-impressed, fine, so be it. If my girlfriend hated it, fine, so be it. If she might leave me over it, no problem, see ya babe.
I guess they’re all talking about the same thing here. Sure, high self esteem is a marker of good mental health, fine. On the other hand, most folks probably don’t have it (though Blacks do in spades – sorry for the joke woketards).
And folks with high self-esteem – otherwise known as “big egos” – can definitely seem a bit much to say the least to other people. They think we’re too big for our britches. There’s also this idea of,
What in God’s name have you accomplished in life to be deserving of such an inflated self-opinion?
The answer in many cases is nothing, though many of us have good jobs, fame, money, status or at least a history of success in some area of life. There’s usually some serious factual achievement, beyond what most accomplish, behind that fat ego. A big tree needs good soil to grow. Plant it in shallow rocky junk and it stunts, twists, and never achieves greatness.
Women, often older women, seem in particular to be put off by big male egos. I’ve seen them literally lunge backwards on meeting me. It’s not that I’m ugly or offensive. I think it’s just the force field of my ego just takes them aback. Their reactions are:
What the Hell?
If there’s a man with her of the same age, a lot of the time he sees and accepts it on some level that maybe there’s something behind it or at least it’s incurable. At worst he’s indifferent and thinks it’s harmless.
Most men have a grudging respect for a big male ego. After all, Man World is a land of endlessly jousting egos. All of us males are at war from teenage on. For stuff, money, pride, status, recognition, accolades, women, fame, you name it. The enemies? Why, the other guys of course.