All of this is from a Queera, I mean Quora, page about whether a straight man can be feminine. As you can see, almost all of the answers that the Gay Identity Politics morons and the Woketard Identity Politics kooks. Keep in mind that Woketarditude is nothing if not IP writ large – in other words, woketards take up the voices of all IP while perhaps only belonging to one or a few strains.
What Woke Culture represents is the death of wisdom. The death of the wisdom of the elders, the wisdom of the ages, in other words, everything we have always known about this or that subject.
I talked to one of my grandmothers about gay men once. She was in her 80’s! She rattled off a big story of exactly what these men were like. She was born in 1900, but she could have been born in 1960. She was obviously talking about what she had learned about gay men as a young woman growing up, but it was almost precisely the same as how gay men were living in the 1980’s. I told my Mom about this and she was shocked. She said:
She was born in 1910!
Get it? Some things never change because they are, in a sense, universal.
The nature of men and masculinity.
The nature of women and femininity.
How male and female homosexuals act and think.
Why feminists hate men.
How Black people act and how it’s a lot different from how White people act.
How some races are more intelligent or more athletic than other races.
Why some women are promiscuous and how these women think and behave.
Why some men are womanizers and how these men think and behave.
My mother was a total expert on all of these subjects, and she was born in 1932! But these aspects of human nature were the same when she was young as they are today!
The basics of human nature don’t change because basic human nature is not a changeable or changing thing as it is significantly biological. Furthermore, culture plays off of biology and accentuates it, which then causes the biological behavior to express even further. The fact that biology and culture mimic each other and follow each other around is what makes it so hard to untangle their effects.
Do gay men love effeminate gay men?
Do straight men love feminine women?
Some do, but some like female body builders.
Do straight women like effeminate guys?
Some do, but some don’t.
Do gays love effeminate gays?
Some do, some don’t. It’s almost as if gay men are like normal people.
This is stupid. Everyone knows that gay men have a serious problem with effeminate gays. Of course straight men love feminine women!
There are not many men who like masculine women, and those men tend to be wimpy or feminine themselves. Opposites attract!
Very few straight women like effeminate straight men and even “feminine” straight men, whatever that means, have it rough. However, I did meet some very effeminate young men with very hot girlfriends when I worked near Hollywood. I thought it was sickening and stupid. My attitude was:
Why the Hell do you want a fag for a boyfriend?
Not that there’s anything wrong with being a biological gay man in the first place, but why on Earth would any woman want one for a boyfriend? That’s just downright weird, sorry.
Sure, women all have their gay friends, but they don’t want to have sex with them! It’s a rare straight woman who likes faggy straight men.
As I noted above, the prejudice against effeminate gay men is a well-known issue in the gay community.
Notice that this response told us absolutely nothing about what reality is really like? It reduced everything to “some do, some don’t.” But that’s not how life works! Things tend to work in certain ways.
Most straight women like masculine men. Sure, a few don’t but they are minority.
Most straight men like feminine women. A few don’t but that’s only a small number.
Most straight women absolutely do not want effeminate men for boyfriends or lovers. I suppose a few like them, but they’re few and far between.
By reducing all of these choices to an equal preference, postmodernism fails to allow us to achieve wisdom about humanity, which is only found in generalizations. But woketards say generalizations are bigotry. So what they are saying is that all wisdom is bigotry. I doubt if this bullshit is going to work. I’m sad to say that I fell for this BS for a long time until I got hit on the head with the reality stick and realized that a lot of “bigoted stereotypes” that everyone agreed are mostly true were in fact just that.
Is it gay to kiss another man?
No.
Men who kiss one another might be gay or they might not.
Doing things is not gay. Activities are not gay. People are gay.
When we say gay, we mean to say that a person is primarily or exclusively attracted to other people of the same sex.
People who are gay might kiss other people or have sex with other people of the same sex.
Or they might not.
Some people don’t have sex. Some people don’t kiss. Some of those people are straight and some are gay.
Some gay people kiss and have sex with other people of the opposite sex.
Some straight people might kiss and have sex with other people of the same sex.
It just depends.
Activities like kissing are not gay. They can’t be.
Only people can be gay.
Oh, for God’s sake! It’s gay as Hell to kiss a man! There are straight men who will have gay sex, but even a lot of them will not dare to kiss another man. It’s seen as way too faggy. Men who kiss other men are overwhelmingly gay!
People who are gay may kiss and have sex with people of the same sex! What is this “may” bullshit? How many gay men and lesbians are utterly asexual and celibate in all sexual behavior? Not a lot. There are not a lot of asexuals who voluntarily choose to not have sex during the lifespan. The latest figure is 1
How many gay people kiss and have sex with people of the opposite sex? Yes, 25
Certainly some straight women will kiss and even have sex with other women. I’ve met a number of them who identified as straight but nevertheless had sex with other women sometimes.
Some straight men have sex with gay men for all sorts of reasons, but I don’t think this is very common. They’re outliers.
Do same-sex couples share underwear?
Probably some do. My husband and I don’t, and no one I know has ever told me that they do. But it doesn’t sound unreasonable.
And to be fair, probably some opposite-sex couples also share underwear.
I have no idea if gays and lesbians share underwear. I don’t think that’s a very good idea though.
Yeah! How many women wear their husband’s underwear? Not many. Any? Takes all kinds to fill the fill the freeways. Exactly how many men wear their wives’ panties? Sure, there are a few but those men are transvestites. This stuff is very rare.
Why are some homosexual men feminine but it’s rare to see feminine characteristics in a straight man?
This is perception.
There are far more men with feminine characteristics than you realize. Due to people being so concerned about what other people think and the overall view that feminine is beneath masculine, many heterosexual men will hide their feminine leanings.
I assure you that there are countless men who wear panties and other soft articles of clothing, enjoy pretty colors and other things that are commonly associated with being feminine than will ever admit it.
Well, if straight men are hiding their feminine feelings (I sure as Hell do) then are they really there or not? Sort of like if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, did it make a sound? If you have feminine characteristics that you bury, for all intents and purposes they’re not there.
There are not “countless” men who wear panties and do other tranny bullshit. Most straight men don’t like soft clothes very much. I don’t know about pretty colors and straight men. I doubt if most straight men want to wear extremely loud feminine-colored clothing. Men who do these things are called trannies. Also, gay men absolutely wear female or feminine-type clothing, and they’re not necessarily trannies at all. They’re just gay.
Are most gay men feminine?
It is definitely true that some gay men are feminine and some are not.
It is not possible to truly answer your question because
We don’t have a list of all the gay people in the world (or the USA, or any country).
We don’t really have a good measure of “femininity” in this regard.
This post has told us absolutely nothing. Congratulations! Yes, most gay men are not just feminine but effeminate (act like women). 70
Behaviors among humans and animals occur in frequencies. It is the frequency and commonality of the behavior that matters, not whether it exists or not. In humans and other mammals, there are certain typical behaviors. Sure, mammals may engage in odd atypical behaviors, but those are not normal for the species, so we don’t talk about them.
What is important about human behaviors is not that they occur but at what rate they occur. Humans of either sex typically display certain behaviors commonly and the opposite behaviors uncommonly. Realizing which behavior is common and which occurs but it aberrant or rare is the meaning of human wisdom. This is how we make sense of the world.
Yes. It depends on the environment in which he lives or his work. If he is from a family most or all being females, a cis male develops feminine traits but may be straight in all other ways.
Alternatively, in a FLR (female led relationship) too.
In a work environment consisting wholly or most parts women, a male always develops feminine mannerism in dress and behavior. It usually starts with changes in attire to stay in the trend leading to gestures that are considered feminine. He also grows long hair and manicured hands and nails.
Transition to change in orientation from here may or may not happen. Usually it takes three years.
Ok, look. Males cannot change their sexual orientation after age 15 just because they were raised by a bunch of females, their wife wears the pants, or they work in a mostly-female workplace.
Is male homosexuality an inherently feminine trait?
No.
There are very few traits that are inherently masculine or feminine, and homosexuality is one of them. It’s just in the opposite direction from what you ask about: Male homosexuality is, by definition, just as masculine as male heterosexuality. It’s something that only men can have.
EDIT: Several people have suggested an edit, adding “not” between “is” and “one”. I’ve certainly been known to make typos, and I love my editors. But this time, I didn’t mess up. Male homosexuality is inherently masculine.
Huh?
Male homosexuality is, by definition, just as masculine as male heterosexuality.
All right, look. That’s simply a lie. Male homosexuality is not just as masculine and male heterosexuality. Anyone who believes this has no wisdom whatsoever in this area.
How does a boy show his feminine side and not be gay?
Simple, he can show his “feminine” side and not be romantically or sexually attracted to men while simultaneously identifying as gay. That’s the short answer.
The long answer is that behavior that is typically viewed as feminine is viewed as unacceptable among men in our society, and as men are expected to strictly adhere to gender roles. Men who defy gender norms and traditional masculinity are marred as outcasts and treated as such by others.
Due to the negative connotations of homosexuality, they are often labelled gay as means to demean their manhood (which is problematic in its own way). Additionally gay men are frequently stereotyped as feminine, further explaining the use of this term.
You can’t stop people from responding poorly to how you express yourself, but you can choose how you respond. The onus shouldn’t be on you to be the better person in this scenario, mais c’est la vie.
As far as insults go, “gay” is pretty flimsy. There is nothing inherently wrong with being gay, so express your femininity with pride and do your best to ignore your detractors. Express yourself in the manner which makes you the most happy, regardless of your sexuality.
There is one exception, if you are in a situation where expressing femininity or being viewed as gay is dangerous, maybe hold off until you are in a safer situation.
I don’t know about this. Most straight men really, really do not like being called gay. Around these parts where I live, you call a straight man gay and you will get hit. You will be ordered to take it back, and if you don’t, you’re simply going to get hit. I am very happy with this state of affairs, and I wish more neighborhoods would develop this attitude.
Why are there so many feminine gays?
Because there are so many masculine gay people. The world needs to stay balanced somehow.
Dumb. Implies that masculine gay men are just as common as feminine and effeminate gay men. This statement is utterly lacking in wisdom. Furthermore, it is false.
To what degree are gay men feminine or masculine?
This is a funny question. Coming from a non-gay guy who has friends and close relatives who are gay and based on my observations (and as your question specifically asks about “gay men”):
You get ’em in all flavours.
I know gay men who are very macho, and others who are less so. I can think of one hilariously flamboyant, toooootally faaaaaabolous guy who flounces around artistically. He is unable to sit normally on a sofa. He “drapes” himself artistically. He cracks me up. But…He’s not gay. Nope, not at all.
By the way, it’s exactly the same with lesbians (again, based on my observations and my friends): There are very feminine women who happen to prefer other women over men and there are tomboy-types (and everything in between).
You know, basically we are all individuals. Our sexual orientation is only one (small) part of who we are. Most of all, we are individuals. So your question is kind of like asking: “To what degree do blond people enjoy eating sushi?”. Some do, some don’t. It’s a varied world. And thank goodness it is – it would be a boring place otherwise.
I don’t know much about lesbians, but a whole lot of them seem awful damned dykey. Yes, there are some lesbians who don’t act very lez, but they are not so common. I can’t remember the last time I saw or met an actual lipstick lesbian.
The number of hypermasculine gay men is very small. I’ve seen three in my whole life, and they were all on TV or video. Never met one in Meatspace.
The number of openly, campy, effeminate straight men is very small. I’ve met a few guys like that in my life, but it’s sure not common. I had friends who always got called gay, but they were not the slightest bit effeminate. Perhaps they were what people call feminine – they were quiet, sensitive, pretty, passive, and soft-spoken. But I thought that was just “normal” behavior for men. I guess not.
Can a guy be feminine and still be straight?
Yes, my dance teacher was the most camp man I ever met, I was surprised when I found out he had a baby on the way with his girlfriend, who knows he may have come out years later, you hear all the time about men marrying woman and coming out later.
Truth is that if you follow up these wildly campy, over the top effeminate married men with families and kids over 20-30 years, a very large number of them will come out as gay at some point.
You can definitely be both feminine and straight! Gender identity and gender expression are two separate things, and you’ve no need to worry.
Sure, but is it a good idea?
Oh, don’t worry!
Bad advice. Being an effeminate straight man is catastrophic, and I don’t even advise being a “feminine” straight man, looking at my own life.
If you choose this road you will have nothing but problems with women your whole life. Lots of people will insist you are gay, you will be a victim of homophobic discrimination, you may well get gay-bashed – even multiple times, you will confuse your girlfriends who will always think you used to be gay or are bisexual, and worst of all, you will be fighting off gay men as if they were mosquitoes in Alaska your whole life.
I really recommend that all straight men act as masculine as they are comfortable with. Society’s gone backwards. Androgynes were more popular in the 1970’s. It seems like modern women want nothing by hypermasculine men. You can never really go wrong acting masculine.
Yeah. I myself am a very feminine guy, and I love hanging out with gay dudes, but I would never do anything with them sexually.
I’m 6 foot 2, strong-built guy who’s had a beard and chest hair since I was 16. Girls thought I was cute but I was always shy of them. But I realized I was good-looking when gay guys would hit on me all the time.
Because I’m a nice guy I would always play along with their antics because for one, I like the attention regardless of gender (liking attention is one of my many feminine traits) and two, I like having friends, and I don’t like enemies. I have always been a very accepting person. I like everyone and everything to a point where some might question my sexuality because I am just too positive sometimes.
So here’s a few traits I have that are feminine:
I like music, arts, singing, dancing, and I love colorful visuals. I’m very into aesthetics and I actually have quite a bit of talent in the drawing area, not just speaking for myself, because I have been told I am talented at drawing. So I love visuals, I love music videos, and I really love extroverted people. I myself am extroverted but sometimes I get shy because I don’t want to look like a douchebag.
I actually listen to girls when they talk, and I love talking to my mother. Most guys get annoyed with talking to females, but I enjoy it, and I want to hear what they have to say as well as lead them on to say more. Girls are really fun to talk to for me, and while I do think sexual thoughts about women when they are attractive, I also know my boundaries and try not to be creepy.
I’m non-conflictual. I don’t like to fight or hurt other people, and I always feel horrible if I do. Even if the guy is being a complete asshole, I still won’t fight back because I just don’t take interest in proving my ego like that. If worse comes to worst and my life is in danger, I might do something out of desperation, but if there is an escape route, I won’t let my ego get in the way.
My mom used to take me to plays when I was younger. I was brought up on Disney films and Nintendo games. I listen to R&B, soft rock, jazz, pop, and recently I have been into K-pop.
Why on Earth this foolish straight men likes to hang around gay men, I have no idea. But that doesn’t seem like a very good idea at all. Talk about getting people talking! I most certainly do not like to “hang out with gay dudes.” Sorry! I cannot recommend that either. I would definitely recommend that young straight men do not hang out with gay men. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
I don’t understand why this guy calls himself very feminine because his behavior seems about like mine. In fact, this could be my story.
On the other hand, I was not that shy around girls after age 16.
I have no interest in dancing, which I consider faggy, although I have always liked to dance myself.
Drawing isn’t feminine, nor are music videos.
I like to talk to women too and I am very good at it because part of my brain is like a woman’s brain, though I keep it pretty hidden. Let’s just say that it “thinks like a woman.” On the other hand, I can get along with women very well because they figure this out, and in a way, it’s like I’m one of them, but in another way, of course, I’m not at all. I’d rather talk to a woman than a man any day of the week.
I’m a pacifist too. This guy has a problem in that he doesn’t fight back. My Mom always shook her head and said about me,
You’re not a wimp!
and she definitely thought some guys were. Her reasoning was clear.
You fight! You really fight. Wimps don’t fight. Wimps don’t fight back. You fight back!
Exactly.
I will fight you! And if someone attacks me, I will attack them back. Just this past year, I probably got into 50-60 fistfights with other men, and I’m 65 years old! I don’t recommend this guy’s pussy “don’t fight back” behavior. You just encourage the bullies. Plays, Disney, Nintendo are all fine for a boy. The guy’s taste in music is just fine. To me this guy just seems normal.
Hi, yes, I think I am one of that kind of guy, if below points count as being feminine:
I like keeping up with fashion.
I want to remain skinny with no extra fat at all.
I am very shy and introverted.
I talk softly and politely.
I walk like I am walking a ramp.
I believe that females are a better sex.
I think women make life classier and more organized.
I feel submissive to women only (I am very competitive when it’s with men).
But what I find interesting about my behavior, I embody my surroundings quite fast and if I am with a girl, if she is talking about her stuff, I will indulge in it so much that I will start thinking from a female perspective, consequently my reactions and tone will also adjust, and I may then sound like a sweet guy or maybe a bit effeminate. But even then, I am still straight, I love girls, and I wanna have a girlfriend too.
Moreover, I have understood with time and experience with women that most of the girls won’t like if they notice any of the traits above in any man.
I just hope there are women who like guys like me.
Ladies, if you’re reading this and you think that seeking relationship with a dominant female is normal or if you are women like that, please upvote and show your support to keep my confidence.
Thanks ❤️
I don’t know why this guy calls himself feminine. If he’s feminine, then Hell, so am I! I don’t even know what this “feminine man” thing means anymore. I know what a masculine man is. I know what an effeminate man (a man who acts like a woman) is. But what on Earth is a feminine man? He doesn’t act real masculine, but he doesn’t act like a woman either. I guess I’m wondering what’s wrong with that?
Fashion, liking being thin, shy and introverted, soft and polite talk, women improve the lousy world of men – this is all me!
On the other hand, walk like you’re walking up a ramp? Yuck. That seems like a bad idea. A straight man should not walk in a dainty way. People won’t like it. Think women are better than men. I thought that for many years until I wised up. I still like women way more than I like men though. Competitive with men is fine.
But submissive to women? Yuck! See this is the problem with a lot of these guys. If they get too feminine, first of all, they like masculine women, and one more thing, masculine women like feminine or even effeminate men. It’s odd but nature seeks a balance!
And human nature is part of Nature itself no matter what these postmodern woketards say. And some of them, like this guy above, want a woman who can dom him in the relationship. I had some relationships like that where the woman tried to dom me and it was not the slightest bit pleasant. That cunt used to laugh right in my face.
But sometimes I dommed her good and hard and she ended up in my brain getting fucked good and hard. See? Even if she was trying to dom me in bed, she needed to go totally submissive in order to let herself get fucked by me. This implies that women can’t have sex with men without going totally submissive to them, as if it’s part of the package. There are women out there who will want to dom this submissive man in a relationship. I really have no idea what those sexual relationships look like or even how they look nonsexually.
Yes. I myself, am one. Not sure though, but I consider myself half-feminine and half-masculine.
I like watching romance, horror and action, I listen to pop and country, my favorite artist is Taylor Swift. Rock and ganster-rap are my least favorite genres though. Blue and purple are my 2 most favorite colors. I speak with a girlish accent sometimes. And I like to surf though. However, I do have a lovely girlfriend who knows about these things and doesn’t really care. In fact, she thinks that it’s cool.
Most of what this guy likes is not feminine. Liking pop, country, and Taylor Swift is not feminine. Hating rock and gangster rap is not pussy. I hate the latter myself. It’s ok to have favorite colors. Purple was my favorite color as a little boy. I guess I must have been a faggot!
Speaking with a girlish accent is not ok at all for a straight man. If you do this, just stop. If you can’t stop, try to stop. If you can’t help it, I don’t know what to say. But as a straight man, this girlish accent crap is just not going to work.
Yes. And I fall under this category. I’m a guy, I have a girlfriend and I wear girl jeans, I keep my hair as nicely as I possibly can, I’m super emotional to many things…I’m pretty much the best of both worlds. At least I’ve been told that by my gf. I think I went on topic.
Jeans are fine but girl jeans are going to be way too tight on a man.
Keeping your hair nice is fine. I put three different products on my hair every day!
Becoming very emotional is not good at all. Other men will say, “You’re as flaky as a bitch.” Very bad way to come across.
See those really emo people over there? Those are called women. See those really non-emo rock-like creatures over there? Those are called men. That’s all you need to know.
Yes. I have frankly lost count of men who were quite feminine and still as straight as they come. I cannot however report if they were closeted homosexuals but it’s suffice to say they were much more than their feminine behavior like we are than our orientation.
A friend I know is the 21st century metrosexual who would make a fuss about the kind of clothes he needs, the type of shoes he must own. To tell you the truth the moment I came across him I thought he was perhaps gay as well but later I did change my mind. He is just a charming and handsome guy who likes to look handsome and has a fat wallet to pay for his clothes. Many might call that feminine behavior but I should know better.
Another friend is, to put it mildly, shy as fuck! It took him one full year to start talking to any of us. He is an introvert and probably the shyest kid I have ever seen. His behavior was often confused with effeminacy and I have heard other friends asking him straight on his face if he was gay. He certainly was not since he seems truly happy with the girl he was crushing on from the beginning of our classes.
Being fussy about clothes is a bit weird, but there’s nothing wrong with being into clothes. And I don’t think women hate male clotheshorses. A lot of women like well-dressed men. Women are nuts about clothes obviously, and if they find a guy who’s into clothes too, this is something they can hit it off about.
Yes, absolutely! There’s no gender rule-book, so we can’t know what would be in it and what wouldn’t be, but I’ve known many heterosexual men who were (by American standards) rather “feminine”.
Keep in mind, also, that what one person defines as feminine may not be what another person defines as feminine. For example, in many European countries, it is more normal for men to put more effort into their personal style/looks. It’s not a question of femininity for them per se, but a question of putting the effort in to look and feel the way you want to.
Some people even have specific desires centered around straight men wearing typically feminine articles of clothing (lacy underwear, bras, dresses etc).
I think the most important thing to consider is that someone’s sexual identification (straight, gay, bisexual, etc) is not related to the behavioral traits that lead us to perceive someone as ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’, and that anybody can exhibit any combination of those traits regardless of what their sexual preference is.
Ok.
Some people even have specific desires centered around straight men wearing typically feminine articles of clothing (lacy underwear, bras, dresses etc).
All right, this is ridiculous. Yes, there are autogynephiles who get off who get off on wearing these clothes themselves, but how many women like to see a guy in panties and a bra? About zero.
Have you ever met a guy who acts feminine but was straight?
Yes. I myself sometimes act so feminine that my relatives ask me if I’m gay. Even my mother doubts my sexuality.
They say its because of my actions are most common with girls (mouth covered by handkerchief. Legs crossed. Pouting sometimes.)
But I am pretty sure that I’m straight. Well, because I have a girlfriend. And I like girls. I like hanging out with them. I don’t like guys in a romantic way or anything. It just gives me the leverage to communicate with girls.
Forgot to mention, even my girlfriend thought I was gay. Then now she believes I’m the manliest man she knows. That’s because I act like a man for her. Ha ha.
Geez. Do not cover your mouth with a handkerchief unless you are sneezing.
Legs crossed. I used to do this all the time until I caught a clue bird flying my way. Look. Crossed legs are for chicks. A man can cross his legs, but you need to do it with one leg at a 90 degree angle to the other leg. Follow? I cross my legs like this all the time now and I have no problems.
Real men don’t pout. Do not pout. It’s really faggy and women hate it. They think it’s pussy behavior. You know who pouts? Teenage girls pout. As in, teenage girls, not teenage women. 14-17 year old girls. If you pout as a man, you are acting like a teenage girl. Congratulations!
I’m turned off by the guy I’m dating, because he is not very masculine. Can the physical chemistry grow, or should I stop dating him?
Don’t make it complicated for yourself. You’re either into the guy or not. If masculine is what you find attractive, forget all questions why and know that is what you look for.
That’s your preference.
Don’t fight it.
Try your best to get as much compatibility as possible and your preferences. It will help when in relationship.
It’s important to you and it’s a turn off.
A deal breaker for you.
Once your girlfriend tells you you are not masculine enough or attacks your masculinity by saying it is lacking in some way, this is a very bad thing. This woman wants a more masculine type of man than you are. You are not that guy and you will never be that guy. And women who think like this never change. She’s never going to “slowly get used to your masculine style and be ok with it.” Just forget it. This is one thing that a woman never changes her mind about. I’d like to see one case of a woman who changed her mind about this matter.
Jeezus it’s like Prince never existed. Yes OF COURSE, a guy can be feminine and not gay. A guy can be feminine and be very, very into women.
A lot of straight women like more sophisticated and refined guys, and some even prefer more “feminine” guys. Straight women aren’t made in a factory, they have different preferences and don’t just like one type of male. The same goes for guys. You can be a very masculine gay guy, you can be a very girly straight guy, it’s kinda irrelevant, except in the minds of those who struggle to interact with someone who doesn’t fit into the more traditional social constructs.
I don’t really like the concepts of “feminine” or “masculine” in the first place. They’re remnants of an outdated social structure. We’re way too far past the year 2000 for that. Ultimately, a person is simply a person. Whatever their gender, they may act feminine, or masculine, or neither. Their sexuality has nothing to do with how they present.
Gender is an identity. It doesn’t change. You don’t get to choose. Though it might take a painfully long time for some people to finally work it out.
Sexuality is an orientation. It doesn’t change. You don’t get to choose. Though again, it may take a good long while to work it out.
Femininity or masculinity are simply how someone comfortably presents themselves. It’s like a preferred outfit. It can change depending on how an individual wishes to style themselves.
A man can be slim, petite, and feminine, and work hard to change himself to become muscular and behave in a more masculine way. You can learn how to present as feminine or masculine. I once played a character in a play where I had to switch from my previous gender presentation to my modern one. In one scene. It was tough, but that was the point.
A lot of people have to categorize someone in order to interact with them. This belongs to a hierarchical society. It’s a hangover from when even someone’s social class needed to be clearly identified in order interact with them appropriately. There was specific language, mannerisms, behaviors dictated by who was interacting with whom. It’s long been the same for interactions between the sexes.
Our civilization has been consistently moving away from that. It is, very slowly, becoming more egalitarian. Younger women are far more open to femininity in men than previous generations were. The number of guys I hear complaining about the girly-man trend like it’s a social evil is very high. Sex, gender, and sexuality constructs and assumptions are currently very much undergoing change.
Okay.
Younger women are far more open to femininity in men than previous generations were.
I seriously doubt that. We’re going backwards. We men had far more freedom in the 1970’s.
The number of guys I hear complaining about the girly-man trend like it’s a social evil is very high.
Is it an actual trend?
I’m a boy and I act a little bit feminine. Should I act more masculine?
No, you should act however you feel comfortable acting like. There’s no reason boys have to always conform to stereotypical behavior or conventional masculinity
Especially since most of what’s considered “masculine” and “feminine” is arbitrary in the first place. Just like there are tomboys/girls are “boyish”, there are boys who are “girlish.” There’s no reason one should be okay and the other isn’t.
Yes, you should ask more masculine if you can possibly do so. If you can’t, fine, go ahead and live your life this way, but IMHO you’re going to be in for a life of grief.
Masculinity and femininity are not arbitrary at all. Most people agree on the definitions of such things. Sure, in a perfect world, faggy little boys should be just as ok at tomboy girls. Except it’s not a perfect world. It’s a screwed up, stupid, arbitrary, and unfair world with a million double standards. You can rage against them but all you are doing is fighting windmills.
How do I tell my boyfriend he’s too feminine?
I would advise against it. People aren’t like car seats that you can adjust to your liking. They’re actual living breathing individuals whose personality is based off their lifetime experiences. Do you really think he would be able to change his personality just because you don’t like it? Would that be authentic if he did or would it be fake?
Instead of getting with people and then wanting them to change to fit your liking you should maybe improve your dating/vetting process so you actually end up getting with someone you actually like.
She’s going to tell him sooner or later anyway. I was told this flat out by one woman. I had another one who implied it.
