Alt Left: China Wants War!

China wants war!

All you patriotards out there, listen up! We had all these totally innocent bases set up to surround China. As a joke, we call them “the noose.” LOL the Chinese took us seriously! You got played! Now we were just minding our own business at these bases, spying on China, probing their defenses. We even decided to put some nuclear weapons on some of these bases as a gag! Funny or what? The dumb Chinese took us seriously and said the nuclear weapons were there to threaten them! Silly Chinks! Won’t they ever learn?

Anyway, China went and stuck their damned country right next to all of these innocent spying, probing, nuclear-threatening bases! The nerve of them! Then they sent a weather balloon over the US as a joke, and we said it was a spy plane and shot it down! LOL all the Americans fell for it! Now everyone says China wants war! It’s true! China wants war! They flew a weather balloon over our country disguised as a spy plane just to be inscrutable little shits!

Patriots be aware! China wants war! Well, if that’s what they want, and if they don’t leave our totally innocent “noose” nuclear weapons bases on their borders alone, we will fight them!

We, the Americans, do not war. We never do. We always just want peace. But if our enemies try to get in the way of the military bases we set up to surround, spy on, and threaten them by sticking their damned countries next to our innocent little bases, then they’re asking for it. They want war, we’ll give it to them!

China wants war!

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