I get why so many women blow me off. If a young woman acts like she’s really interested in me and talks to me in a very friendly way to half an hour, especially if she reveals some vulnerabilities, then, yeah, next time I see her, I might just ask her out! So I can see why they shut me down and act businesslike or unfriendly in order to not lead me on. It makes sense. They’re trying not to give me any ideas.
By the way, if they are acting unfriendly or deliberately businesslike to give me an “I don’t want to go out with you” message, which I seem to get all the time, I definitely don’t ask them out! They get filed in this “not interested” category, and I don’t even try anymore unless they change their attitude, which it seems like they never do.
Turns out most of the women in the mall have to act friendly to customers (unlike Starbucks, the meanest store in the US!), so you don’t get many seriously unfriendly vibes. And nowadays, I am on alert for that vibe all the time, any time I interact with any woman.
As soon as I get that vibe, I tone it down and just act businesslike towards them. I might talk a little bit about this or that, but no way am I going to flirt with, or hit on or come onto her! And I can read messages very well, perfectly really. At the same time as you get the “I don’t want to go out with you” line, you often also also get this, “I don’t even want to talk to you!” message. I get this a fair amount of the time if I try to make conversations, and I’m always watching out for it. I especially get that at Starbucks, but it’s not limited to there.
It’s hard to describe this attitude. They might cut you off as soon as you start to say something.
They can act excessively “cold” or “too businesslike.” This sort of translates into “icy.”
A lot of the time they pretend that they don’t hear you even when they do. That is very hard to figure out and one is tempted to think she didn’t hear and repeat it, but a lot of the time, I just assume she is pretending she didn’t hear, and I just shut down. I used to always think they didn’t hear me and repeat what I said, but several years ago, I figured out that they were just pretending that they didn’t hear me. I now see that I get this a fair amount of the time from people.
Sometimes simply return her shutdown with my own shutdown. I stop being friendly and I just act businesslike or maybe even worse, a bit sullen, which is totally called for if she’s being unfriendly. Another message you might get is, say, she finished with your order and she’s moved away a bit, and then you ask her something else. She looks at you with disappointment and often fear. The look says, “Why the Hell are you even talking to me?!…It’s frightening to me when you talk to me!…I’m shocked that you are even talking to me at all!” on and on.
I pick up on that right away and I label her as “hostile” and I try to have as little conversation with her as possible. I put her in the “does not want any conversations” category and have as few words with her as possible. Plus I’m pretty unfriendly because anyone who sees me regularly and gives me this, “I do not want to talk to you, ever!” I label, quite correctly, as hostile, and you have a right to return hostility with hostility. I get that quite a bit nowadays too.
Sometimes I’m not sure if some woman likes me or not. If she was super friendly the last time I talked to her, maybe I look at her while she’s working the second time. If she likes you, next time you go in, you just start looking at her. It’s ok to keep your gaze. I don’t call that staring. It’s more like looking. If she still likes you, she will wave to you in this very friendly way, often with a little flutter of her hand. This often means she really likes you, like maybe she even might go out with you or have sex with you. That fluttery, feminine wave seems to be flirtatious or seductive. I haven’t seem them to it that much when they are just being friendly.
On the other hand, if you are watching her the next time you come in, it’s not unusual for them to completely ignore me when I am doing that! So she was super friendly at first, but then when I was looking at her, she treated me like I wasn’t there. That means she was just being friendly, and she doesn’t want to date me at all. It might also be risky to even try to talk to her because Starbucks got me in trouble for “asking personal questions” and threatened me with a ban. Everyone does that to everyone all the time anyway, and there’s no way that should be reason for a ban.
And no worker or customer should ever complain about such a thing. I would never try to bust any customer at work or say they made me uncomfortable. People don’t “make me uncomfortable.” That’s a woman thing because women are children. Young women are notorious for this.
After age 30, they get somewhat immune from “being made to feel uncomfortable” and if they don’t like the vibes they get from some guy, they just ignore him and go about their business. A lot of them seem to think that men are going to look at them, flirt with them, come onto them, and hit on them all the time anyway, and they just put most guys on ignore and move on.
It’s young women who are the great big crybabies. I can’t believe that there are “men” who would say, “That guy makes me uncomfortable.” I’d say you’re not much of a man if you say that unless some guy is being menacing towards you. If you’re not a pussy or a fag, you should be allowing other people to “make you feel uncomfortable.” That means you’re acting like a woman!
This whole “no man can ever make any woman feel ‘uncomfortable’ at any time for any reason, no matter who he is and who she is” is simply insane. I have a right to make people feel uncomfortable, as does anyone. Anyone has a right to make me feel as uncomfortable as they want. Knock yourself out! You have no way of knowing if you are making people uncomfortable when you are looking at them and possibly even when you are talking to them. You might not know until the end of the conversation.