Or, to put it another way: You’re supposed to develop some (even shamed) humility after age 40.
And it’s ok to be a bit ashamed. Shame is at the core of humility. Just don’t take shame too far because you can get toxic and screwed up from that emotion. Too much shame is very bad.
Shi: As per my last post, I have turned into a mini-version of Trash himself. As Polar Bear just noted, I was sounding just like Trash when I mocked the Polish people for eating with their hands.
I haven’t really noticed this. Are you being hard on yourself?
Shi: I am only being my toxic Trash-self at the workplace (as you know I work for freelance companies) but pretty much anywhere else to get my way.
Not sure I want to tell you how to live, but do you think this is ok? It sounds like you are attacking innocent people. Does that seem proper or just? Imagine you were one of the people you are treating like this? Would you enjoy that?
You used to bully some commenters though like Manuel. Granted he was a bit of a geek, but that was just the way he was. He was also annoying, but there was probably no cure for that either. You were younger then. I think you were mid-30’s.
But bullying is not a good look after 40. It’s not acting like a woman. It’s quite masculine or macho. It’s just being an asshole. I’ve been dealing with assholes my whole life, and I’m not wild about people who act that way. It reminds me of the assholes in my life.
Instead, bullying after age 40 is looked down on because
You’re too old for that…Why don’t you settle down?…Why don’t you relax and quit being such a dick? Grow up, man. That’s not cool, man!
Really, when someone does this in middle age, they are are acting like a young man. Or a boy, a teenage boy! Boys are simply evil and teenage boys can be Hell on wheels too.
You were a bully as a boy somewhat like I was as a boy, and I was a bit of one myself, but I knocked it off around 20 when one of my victims threatened to beat me up when I bullied him one time.
When a man does bullies people after age 40, he’s acting like a kid! A punk kid, a teenage punk jerk who needs a punch in the face.
Or an assholey young man. Young men are supposed to be assholes. No one likes it but that’s just the way they are. Basically, young men just they haven’t had enough bad things happen to them yet in life! By the time you hit 40, you’ve had a million really bad things happen to you, a lot of your dreams are shattered on the floor in shards, and overall, most people just don’t feel like such hot shit anymore.
There’s a humbling and even a sadness which comes with middle age for most normal people.
If you’re still an arrogant dick after age 40, something’s terribly wrong.
This person who is still an arrogant ass after age 40 might be a narcissist. This is what happened to Trash.
Most people make compromises after age 40, where no matter where someone ended up in life, they accept it whether they are at the top, middle, or bottom. And they accept the place of others, too. Anyway, they doubt if much will change now. Some made it and some didn’t it, and it’s all ok. There’s a sort of “settling in.”
See, Trash never did that and he never will. That’s why he’s messed up and why he’ll never get better.
He’s still fighting a young man’s war. He never settled down and become a calmer middle aged man and accepted his station in life. He continued to feel like an angry, cheated failure and loser, and his self-esteem was so fragile that he couldn’t take that so he had to do all that frenzied behavior to ward off the feeling. But among other things, that wild attempt to escape his feelings of failure didn’t even work. So he had to keep doing it again with each new day.
Among other things, I suppose it’s exhausting being Trash.