A Case of Narcissistic Abuse

This piece by commenter Shi relates a case of narcissistic abuse by a former commenter here who had Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Shi the commenter. What’s odd is I watched these guys post for years and I had no idea that Trash was beating up on Shi. Look, I don’t doubt that he was, as Shi wouldn’t make that up. He’s no pussy professional victim imagining abuse where there is none. But I think it goes to show just how sneaky these guys are. I couldn’t see it because I wasn’t Shi. Maybe the only way to see it was to be Shi. But you see how they get away with their abuse as they make it so subtle you can hardly see it.

RL: Maybe I should not desire to be hated so much. That puts me in Trash Territory where I do not want to be.

There’s nothing you could ever do that will put you in Trash territory. No Internet personality can sink as low as Trash. I’ll come to that in a second. I never understood your deal with the Delphi murders audience (nor do I wish), but they don’t represent the Internet in its entirety. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be the most hated man on the Internet.

RL: That’s interesting. Why do you hate him?

Where do I begin? I blame Trash for messing with my impressionable mind at a young age, which has led to some disastrous consequences in my personal life and career. My life is messed up in a way I couldn’t have done it myself.

Please note I can’t directly connect the dots here because all the bad decisions I made were my own fault. I am aware of this and I take full responsibility for my actions. But without Trash, it wouldn’t have probably been as bad as now. I wish I never knew this guy in the first place. There are no U-turns in life.

Basically Trash is a professional TROLL. He’s highly manipulative and a dangerous emotional bully. Somewhat like Donald Trump, he has a way of getting you wrapped in his web of lies. You would never know what hit you, but it feels real.

Trash is a pro at getting under your skin and making you feel entirely worthless. And that’s just on the Internet. God knows how much more damage he can pull in the real world. This man is toxic, like a vial of sulfuric acid. Trash is the most selfish person I’ve ever met online. All his conversations revolve only around him. He thinks he’s the center of the universe, and wants you to be part of it. This man is just not capable of empathy.

It was around August 2014. I just came back from my first trip to Europe. I was very happy then. I had a steady job. Not that well-paying but I had good career prospects. Anyway I decided to share my experiences online, and that includes your website.

Trash introduced himself to me and started narrating tales of his own road trips in India, Thailand, and many other countries. He’s an American but he knows Asia very well. But that wasn’t what he wanted. He was only there to mock me, write off my travel experiences as trivial, and make me feel as if I’d never be able to accomplish anything of worth in my whole life. He did that slowly and in a recurring manner.

Let us remember I was only 32 then. It was difficult for my impressionable mind to dismiss his subliminal messaging. If you remember one of Trash’s commenting patterns is that he can be quite unrelenting and repetitive. He probably had said it was something to do with his autism, but no, it was well-planned. He really likes to mess with people’s minds. To do this, he will re-package the same negative message in different ways.

Unfortunately I fell into his pattern of harmful TROLLING. It made me question my goals and purpose in life. I spent at least a few months wrangling with Trash almost on a daily basis. I suddenly quit my job and threw away a desirable career. It was one of the best jobs in my life and I regret leaving that company.

I went off to Europe for another extended trip and burned all my savings in the process. Well, I traveled a lot. Saw so much and it did help me improve my life experiences. But it came at a huge personal cost. I was broke. And I was OK with that, as falling from grace is a part of life.

I found another job at another company. It wasn’t as good as the previous one, but I was still determined to rebuild my life. Now I’m 35.

But Trash decides to mess with me ONE more time. It was around 2017. He was following the same pattern. He made me feel worthless and like a nobody. I hadn’t learned enough the first time, and I just had to repeat the mistakes. While last time I went broke, this time I went into debt. And I am still repaying those bad loans.

I wasn’t commenting here for the last 2-3 years because I was in a really bad place – and it’s somewhat Trash’s fault. Fortunately you banned him from commenting here. He still might be lurking around here. I am recovering from all the damage that’s been done. But my beautiful career is over. I cannot be hired again as my name is bad news for the corporations where I worked before.

I let Trash do me over TWICE. “Fool me twice, shame on me” as the adage goes. His TROLLING can cause real world damage, and I have first-hand evidence. Internet trolling is no laughing matter; I am a victim.

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3 thoughts on “A Case of Narcissistic Abuse”

  1. Thanks for listening. It felt real therapeutic sharing my agony about this loathsome character.

    If anyone tells you to chill about Internet trolling as if it’s no big deal, they should thank their stars they never met someone like Trash.

    1. Go to some forums for people who are victims of narcissistic abuse if this is still bothering you. You’d might really enjoy it if you think it’s worth your time.

      1. Another interesting take on my experiences with Trash: I have turned into a narcissistic douche-bag myself – call it being zombified if you will. I am no longer the happy-go-lucky person I once was (which you distinctly remember).

        No Sir. Now I have an axe to grind against the whole world.

        Just like Trash’s, my victims won’t understand why they’re being abused. I am unconsciously following the same pattern he did.

        I wouldn’t be able to affect someone of your age and experience. Most of my victims are in the age group 18-33 (I’m 40 now). And I would say they might find me toxic but they won’t realize it until it’s too late.

        I really feel bad about it when I see the damage done. But this emotional vampirism that comes with advancing age – I don’t know if there’s a proper term for that. Do all middle-aged men do that?

        More on this later in future. I think I’ve taken enough of your time for now.

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