SHI: It’s all right to be a soft-spoken man with no hypermasculine aggressive characteristics.
But it was NEVER acceptable to be effeminate.
Yes, effeminacy in straight men just doesn’t work at all. Any man who is like that, I’d suggest he work on it if he could. If I see a man like that, I want to ask him why on Earth, if he is a straight man, he’s acting effeminate. There’s nothing wrong with effeminacy in men as long as it’s a gay man acting that way.
But for a straight man to act that way is weird and ridiculous. It’s like a cat barking. It’s just weird and wrong and messed up. Barking is just fine for dogs, but cats aren’t supposed to bark, and if one does, I’d wager there’s something seriously wrong with it. You want to walk up to the cat and yell at it, “Hey, you’re a cat, dammit! You’re not supposed to bark. That’s what dogs do, dammit! If you’re going to be a cat, you have to meow like the rest of the felines.” Otherwise you’re just a freak, albeit one that might get you record Youtube views if you put it on the web.
You really can’t be too masculine, and a lot of wimpy guys like acting masculine if you give them permission to and bring it out of them. I’ve done this many times and it’s amazing how delightfully they seem to get into it. It’s like they are in their secret happy place that they have denied to themselves for so long. I’m convinced that most wimpy men actually want to be normal and masculine, but something – maybe a psychological issue – is preventing that.
Masculinity is our happy place. Remember how wildly and even cruelly masculine we were as boys? That’s the natural state of a male in nature.
For women, I really think that femininity is their happy place. They seem to feel so good when they are free to act feminine. Plus femininity is all tied into the sex drive. When a woman starts acting like a frilly Southern belle and flipping her wrist like a gay man around you all of a sudden, I can pretty much guarantee she is turned on by you, and in a lot of cases, it means she wants to fuck right now. It means she’s horny! Look how feminine and submissive they often turn into in bed. That’s the natural state of a woman, like a little girl in a way.
Also, I have found that wimpy or feminine men are often not very happy. I don’t know what it is. I think they are violating Nature or Natural Law. They’re supposed to act masculine and they’re not, so Nature is punishing them by making them miserable.
Have you ever noticed how miserable angry, masculine women are? They’re not happy at all, are they? Perhaps Nature is punishing them too. They’re supposed to be feminine and they’re not, so Nature is punishing them for going against Her. And that is a capital H by the way. Nature is God!
By the same token, gay men seem to have some essential unhappiness about them that goes beyond the harm caused by discrimination. And it’s completely analogous with lesbians.
A man is supposed to be masculine and attracted to women. With gay men, it’s the opposite. They are feminine and attracted to men. A woman is supposed to be feminine and attracted to men. Lesbians are masculine and attracted to other women. Both conditions are frankly abnormal in the sense that they go against the default for society, and if everyone were like that, society would collapse and mankind would go extinct.
By the same mechanism that punishes wimpy straight man and angry, masculine straight women, perhaps Nature also punishes effeminate gay men and masculine butch lesbians. Nature is telling them, “You’re doing it wrong!”
Natural Law is a theory popular in Catholic circles, and while I’m not a Catholic, I find Catholicism fascinating, and I think they may be onto something with their Natural Law. Certain things just seem to be flat out wrong across the board with humans. Molesting prepubescent children (say, under age ~13 or before puberty) is one. Almost no society, primitive or modern, accepts that other than the Sambia in New Guinea where it’s actually a manhood ritual to create men out of boys, hence Nature tolerates it. Even back in Roman days, molesting children was completely taboo. Check out Suetonius. He talks about this.
Hence, molesting kids is, in Catholic Natural Law terms, “inherently disordered.” There’s something about humans that, as an almost-perfect general rule, makes us dislike this sort of thing. Incest also seems to be “inherently disordered.” Every tribe they’ve ever found has an incest taboo for obvious reasons.
The fact that certain things are inherently disordered across the board for humans across space and time also implies that there is something called Universal Culture or maybe in Jungian terms, the Collective Unconscious Culture.
I doubt if homosexuality is inherently disordered. Societies seem to dislike it but tolerate in a few oddballs here and there.
In many societies, effeminate men are often given a term that something like “not-men.” That’s the Persian word for a gay man – gay men are “not-men.” In many places, they are allowed to wear women’s clothes, and they stay in the village with the women during the day doing women’s work. They don’t have to go out and hunt with the men. I’m not sure what they are like sexually, but in a number of tribes, they are treated as a substitute for a woman, and it’s perfectly natural for a normal straight man to take one of these effeminate men as a sexual partner, especially if no female available.
Masculine women or lesbians were also tolerated in small numbers by many groups. They wore men’s clothes and went out and hunted with the men, who accepted them as just another man, albeit one with some funny biology. I believe they were allowed to take another such woman as a partner.
It seems to be normal background variation for ~3% of the population to be homosexual in many societies just like it’s natural background variation for a small percentage of the population to be lefthanded.
Most of that is people who are wired up gay – “biological homosexuals” – from birth. I think it is caused by hormonal levels going off during pregnancy, so it’s basically a developmental disorder like lefthandedness, abnormal fingerprints, etc. And indeed those two things are found at much higher levels in gay men. Once again though, all of those both conditions including lefthandedness are caused by something going wrong, in this case in the womb.
I’m absolutely opposed to treating biological homosexuals any different than we treat our fellow straights. But no one should be under the illusion that this is a natural, normal phenomenon.
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Agreed on all points. Throughout history, there have been effeminate men.
In the Hindu epic Mahabharata, Arjuna the archer is always depicted as a hyper-masculine Alpha male warrior.
But due to a curse, Arjuna is forced to live as a eunuch named Brihanalla for over one year. Even though Brihannalla is effeminate, s(he) fights like a man in an important battle. If you’re going to be an androgynous man, at least take inspiration from Arjuna’s eunuch avatar.
I’m gonna use that analogy for sure. Believe it or not, in my neck of the woods I’m now being seen as a “mentor” (as I’m 40-ish) by teenagers who don’t have role models anymore. It’s fun because I’m recycling some of Robert Lindsay’s ideas. 🙂
I get along with some butch women, but you have to get over the initial hostile hump. As cool as they can be, a man makes a better man.
Men soften with age. Many men soften their politics, beliefs, etc.
Young Mick Jagger probably had more masculine energy or testosterone. Elton John seemed like an old lady years ago.
Youthful masculinity may generally be the ideal. Sean Connery seemed to keep his masculinity well. Women respond to that, even modern women lost in the feminist sea can see true male masculinity like a phallic lighthouse. Winning itself is masculine and victors guide women. Masculine men shine down like the sun on all women.
Of course women who lack the suns warmth are less happy.
I don’t get the Nature part. If a man a acting effeminate is against nature and nature punishes them for it then why did nature create them in the first place. I don’t think it is nature punishing them either but society.
We can’t be objective about these things especially on a deeper philosphical scale. I think everyone should just mind their own business.
Even this whole masculine-feminine thing seems arbitrary. Why is masculine representing everything strong and the feminine everything weak? When without either of them conception would not be possible. So in a way, both need to be strong for a good family.
Women of the Stone Age may also be considered “masculine” by today’s standards because they were stronger, well-built, muscular and athletic.