We don’t talk about it, much, but we know it. You’re just not supposed to admit it. When I’m down, it’s obvious. The older man at the store will ask me how I am doing. If I am really down, I will shrug my shoulders. That’s means I’m down in ManWorld talk. You’re saying you’re depressed, but you are saying it in an acceptable way. Then he would say, “Hanging in there, huh?” or “Surviving, right?” I say, “That’s right.”
In ManWorld you can get depressed, but you almost have to be hanging in there and surviving. That is, coping. You’re not supposed to let depression knock you out of service. That’s not acceptable and it’s also cowardly. You probably should not stay too depressed for too long, either. I always try to keep my spirits up, even when I’m down. I usually say I’m ok or all right if people, even when I’m down.
Sometimes I will admit that things are not going well for me, and other men will respond by just cutting off contact with me. That’s what we men and even a lot of women do. Depression and bad vibes are contagious. Depressed people are depressing. They make you depressed. That’s why people avoid them. Depressed people also remind a lot of people that their lives are pretty depressing too, but they are denying and smiling their way out of it. Being around a depressed person reminds them of how fake their happiness is.
3
20
20
20
As men, all we have is ourselves. We are expendable. Unlike, women, children and pets, nobody gives a shit about us.
Me Against the World by Tupac Shakur:
It’s just me against the world
Ooh, ooh
Nothin’ to lose,
It’s just me against the world baby
Oh, ah ah
I got nothin’ to lose
It’s just me against the world
Oh-hahhh
Stuck in the game
Me against the world baby
Can you picture my prophecy?
Stress in the city, the cops is hot for me
The projects is full of bullets, the bodies is droppin’
There ain’t no stoppin’ me
Constantly movin’ while makin’ millions
Witnessin’ killings, leavin’ dead bodies in abandoned buildings
Carries to children ’cause they’re illin’
Addicted to killin’ and the appeal from the cap peelin’
Without feelin’, but will they last or be blasted?
Hard headed bastard
Maybe he’ll listen in his casket, the aftermath
More bodies being buried, I’m losing my homies in a hurry
They’re relocating to the cemetery
Got me worried, stressin’, my vision’s blurried
The question is will I live? No one in the world loves me
I’m headed for danger, don’t trust strangers
Put one in the chamber whenever I’m feelin’ this anger
Don’t wanna make excuses, ’cause this is how it is
What’s the use unless we’re shootin’ no one notices the youth
It’s just me against the world baby
Me against the world
It’s just me against the world
Ooh yeah, ooh-hoo
It’s just me against the world
Me against the world
‘Cause it’s just me against the world baby
Hey!
Me against the world
Ooh yeah
I got nothin’ to lose
It’s just me against the world baby
I got nothin’ to lose
Could somebody help me? I’m out here all by myself
See ladies in stores, Baby Capone’s, livin’ wealthy
Pictures of my birth on this Earth is what I’m dreamin
Seein Daddy’s semen, full of crooked demons, already crazy
And screamin’ I guess them nightmares as a child
Had me scared, but left me prepared for a while
Is there another route? For a crooked Outlaw
Veteran, a villian, a young thug, who one day shall fall
Ever’day there’s mo’ death, and plus I’m dough-less
I’m seein’ mo’ reasons for me to proceed with thievin’
Scheme on the scheming and leave they peeps grieving
‘Cause ain’t no bucks to stack up, my nuts is backed up
I’m bout to act up, go load the Mac up, now watch me klacka
Tried makin’ fat cuts, but yo it ain’t workin’
And Evil’s lurking, I can see him smirking
When I gets to pervin’, so what?
Go put some work in, and make my mail, makin’ sales
Risking 25 with a ‘L’, but oh well
Me against the world
With nothin’ to lose
It’s just me against the world
Ooh yeah, ooh-ooh
It’s just me against the world baby
Me against the world
I got nuttin to lose
It’s just me against the world
Oh oh
Ha ha
It’s just me against the world baby
Ha-ah, ha ah!
With nothin’ to lose
It’s just me against the world baby
Me against the world, ho ah
Me against the world
I got nothin’ to lose
It’s just me against the world baby
Ha-hahh (hehe) heyy!
With all this extra stressin’
The question I wonder is after death, after my last breath
When will I finally get to rest? Through this suppression
They punish the people that’s askin’ questions
And those that possess, steal from the ones without possessions
The message I stress, to make it stop study your lessons
Don’t settle for less, even the genius asks-es questions
Be grateful for blessings
Don’t ever change, keep your essence
The power is in the people and politics we address
Always do your best, don’t let the pressure make you panic
And when you get stranded
And things don’t go the way you planned it
Dreamin’ of riches, in a position of makin’ a difference
Politicians and hypocrites, they don’t wanna listen
If I’m insane, it’s the fame made a brother change
It wasn’t nothin’ like the game
It’s just me against the world
Me against the world
Nothin’ to lose
It’s just me against the world baby
Me against the world
Got me stuck in the game
It’s just me against the world
Oh ah
I’d be ashamed to lose
It’s just me against the world baby
Me against the world
Heh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
That’s right
I know it seem hard sometimes but uh
Remember one thing
Through every dark night, there’s a bright day after that
So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out
Keep your head up, and handle it
Me against the world
Me against the world
Me against the world
“Depression and bad vibes are contagious. Depressed people are depressing. They make you depressed. That’s why people avoid them. Depressed people also remind a lot of people that their lives are pretty depressing too, but they are denying and smiling their way out of it. Being around a depressed person reminds them of how fake their happiness is.”
That just shows how fake this world is and fitting into it in any capacity is meaningless and by that I mean fitting into a country, family, religion whatever.
Exactly. That’s exactly what people, society, and the world are. A bunch of fake-ass bullshit. Everyone lying and putting on a big fake show. And you have to act this way to go along. If you don’t you will just have nothing but problems.
No one wants to know how you really feel. No one wants to know what you really think about. When they ask how are you, they expect you to say, “Fine” no matter how you are feeling. When they ask what you think about, you are supposed to say you only think about normal things, no matter how much fucked up stuff you think about. Why do you think I hate Normies and their shit Normie World so much? They can take their Normie World and shove it right up their asses, every one of them!
Yes, fitting in is quite nonsensical especially as you have to completely lie about a million things in order to do it. But if you don’t do this, you will have all sorts of problems. Better to go along with the bullshit, lies, and crap. At least you can have some fun and pleasure with other people that way.
Country is pretty stupid, but I am a part of my country. I don’t like this country at all. Never have. Just a bunch of rightwing maniacs. Now it’s literally a fascist country, but I could have told you that 40 years ago when they were proto-fascists and we could see the egg incubating and the writing on the wall.
But leaving the US would be like cutting off my arm! My country is a part of me and vice versa, like it or not. Your country’s like your family.N No matter how much you hate it you are sort of stuck with it and it’s also very much part of you and cutting ties with it causes a lot of pain, like chopping off a limb.
Yes, fitting in to a religion is certainly garbage. I sure don’t. You get along a lot better if you do the religion thing with everyone else, but it’s not really necessary.
If you are not religious you will run into wildly religious people all the time, especially women. I just tell them I’m a Christian and leave it at that. Let people have their religion, especially let women have their religion. Pretend it’s important to you too. Don’t shame or humiliate people, especially women, for their religion. Just let them be and accept that they need to think this way for whatever reason. Anyway, religion is the US is pretty harmless.
Family is one thing you need to keep around for sure! All your lovers and friends are fair weather folks. When the weather’s fine, they’re all around, but when it turns gloomy, they all take off. Only your family will always be there for you at the end of the day. Your family will never stop loving you as long as you act halfway decent. Family is the only damned stable thing we have in this world. I advise all my readers to keep your family around. They can help you out when you get into jams in so many ways!
Fully agree with last paragraph, family above all.
On religion, I think Palestinian Christians may be the best. Christians believe OT God is an old God inferior to the NT God or the OT has an inferior understanding of the same God, so the God of OT is second rate in any case. They almost Christ-like, similar suffering and homelessness.
Lucifer’s Chosen are a very impressive and ruling race. I believe the Bible says the Earth belonged to the Devil after the previous ruler, Adam, joined his wife in eating the forbidden fruit. The first man became the first cuck; some say it means they had sex with Satan.
America is deeply Christian. We don’t have the old pagan legacy of Europe. Though secret societies in America practice some silly version of this – jerking off in coffins, a big owl watching gay men have sex, triangle wearers sacrificing babies, etc. A group of Celtic pagans in all white around a stone circle is is simply beautiful. Ancients were in tune with the universe. Lessons to be learned in the Eddas, Avesta, etc. and nature¸
America’s states are interesting in their own right. The people are often removed from what makes their state interesting. A giant ball of rubber-bands is no Parthenon, sure. I’m blown away by the cultures of different states – a bunch of fine European meats on top of a bed of wild rice. Blacks peppered in and more recent non-Whites add more spice. Perhaps each state deserves to be its own country.
I don’t live the present; I dwell mostly in the past. I was probably happier in the past, but it’s just a fantasy.
Can anything positive come from modern America? We need serious revolution. In a war, I’d prefer Russia to beat America. Russians are a rooted, independent, and intelligent people with values most Americans have lost. Russians have way more to lose.
Depression, for me atleast, was totally disabling. Thank God for Tranylcypromine.
MELANCHOLIA
Spirits bleak, week on week;
Drive is weak; God won’t speak.
Empty shell can’t get well.
Knell the bell, I’m for hell.
Wake in fright, night on night;
Worst at light; what’s that sight?
Cannot play, cannot pray.
Haste the day I decay.
Thinking slow, words don’t flow;
Why so low? Do not know.
Unlike grief, dark motif
Lacks relief, even brief.
Cannot eat, feel so beat.
Doctors treat – their conceit.
What’s this pill? Makes me ill.
It could kill – hope it will.
Cannot cry, want to die.
All is hurt, I am dirt.
Gone past sad; call me bad.
One of the very few descriptions of Depression that I’ve ever been able to relate to.
I’m sorry to hear that! I suffer from it too at times, to tell you the truth. Sometimes I wonder if I am always a little bit depressed. I told my mother that I too had Depression, and she looked at me a bit shocked.
“But yours is mild,” she said. “You function. You get things done.”
She’s right. Also mine lifts even from day to day, though that might be due to a pill, as I do take two different antidepressants every day. The pills are for another disorder, an anxiety disorder, and I absolutely need them. Last winter I noticed that for the first time in forever, I didn’t get depressed in the winter time. Of course I was on a pretty high dose of one of those pills, a dose so high that a psychiatrist told me it was not safe. I’m going to take it anyway.
My sister on the other hand has been on Disability for Major Depression for a good 35 years! She can’t really work. Sometimes I think she’s faking it, but I’ve seen her when she’s really depressed, and I hate to say it but she’s a basket case. She can’t even really talk. You ask her something, and you get this really slow response like, “Uhhhhhh, ummmmmm.” Seriously, she can’t even talk when she’s seriously down. Even when she’s not so bad she doesn’t talk much. She’s quite quiet, almost too quiet. When she’s really down, she’s actually pathetic and I feel so sorry for her.
The higher the IQ, the greater the depression and anxiety, generally. Or like Kierkegaard said:
It is probably the only downside to having a very high IQ. Then again, it is a hell of a downside. You could literally end up killing yourself…
If you need pills, then you need pills. Most people however choose to self-medicate with cigs, weed, and alcohol. Perpetually LOL.