Alt Left: I Know Them Too Well

A commenter: Too much self-awareness leads to weakness and self-harm which, as you know, isn’t a good idea in any society let alone India.

Intuitively, it seems correct, but would any commenters like to expand on this?

Ignorance is bliss I guess. And you can obviously know others too well. This is why family members often hate each other so much. It’s all tied up with shame. You see, your family members know you inside and out, up and down, forwards and backwards, warts and all. They know the good side of you but boy do they know the bad side of you too. They know all your secrets. Nothing is hidden from them.

Hence, they are quite dangerous if they ever decide to spill the beans. The father who comes home from work, kicks the dog, yells at the kids, and badgers the wife is operating on this principle. Obviously, he’s displacing the rage he feels towards others at work whom he is not allowed to express it too. But it’s also the shame. The dog doesn’t know his secrets, but everyone else does. He looks at them and knows that they know his secrets and that makes him very angry because he feels ashamed. Rage often follows shame.

I’ve come to the conclusion that with a lot of people, it’s better to know a little bit about them than a lot about them. I know the locals at the local stores pretty well and they treat me like long-lost family every time I walk in. But I don’t know them very well. I’ve never hung out with them outside of work. I know nothing of their home life. So I’m really quite ignorant of these people. But from my limited vantage point, I can mostly see good things about these folks. I have no doubt that once I got to know them better, I could see a bad side of them. People tend to be on good behavior at work, especially if they face the public.

I feel this way about women too. I get called misogynist all the time, but it’s not really true. Actually I love women. But in spite of all the great times I’ve had with women in my life, I’ve had some of my worst experiences on Earth with none other than women, particularly girlfriends. They’ve hurt me as badly or worse than anyone else. So I love them, but they’ve caused me a lot of pain and this makes me angry.

Also I understand women pretty well. In part it is because I’m not the most masculine guy out there. When I was younger, people sometimes thought I was gay. A number of them refused to believe I was straight even when I told them. I have no idea why they thought this because I’m not effeminate. Maybe I’m just soft. Everyone thinks soft men are gay, but actually most soft and even wimpy men (two different types actually) are straight. Wimpy gay men are so wimpy it’s ludicrous. Some gay men are soft, but most others tend to be effeminate.

Anyway I get along with women very well or at least I did until I got to late middle age and the female population of the Earth starting hating me. I will confess that women my age still like me. But that’s about it. Young women seem to utterly detest me. I can’t even talk about the weather with them. But my whole life I’ve got on well with women. Often most of my friends were women.

I used to say I wouldn’t mind being around women all the time and being around men as little as possible. To this day, I prefer the company of women to that of men. And one reason for that is, I must admit, that there’s a part of my brain that literally thinks like a woman. In this way I can connect with them very well whereas with most other people, the male-female dyad seems to be some odd connection of opposites.

Anyway, the problem is that I definitely know women too well. Way too well. Way too well for my own good. And to tell the truth, I liked them more (but in a very stupid and naive way) when I didn’t understand them so well. As I’ve come to know them better and better, I’ve grown more cynical about them.

You see, I can see the whole wonderful good side of women (and girls for that matter, as I love girls too). The good side of women is one of the most glorious things in God’s green Earth.

And then there is the bad side.

A good way to look at a lot of things is to say they are 50

The bad side of men is utterly terrifying as in literally physically dangerous to life and limb, but the bad side of the Feminine Principle is pretty monstrous too, with the exception that they won’t hurt you physically. They will hurt you verbally, psychologically, and spiritually, but they don’t tend to engage in physical violence. That is in the universe of the men.

The thing is that I often find myself regretting that I know women so well. It was a lot more fun when I walked around half the time thinking “I love women! I love women!” I thought that mostly because I hadn’t really figured out their bad or even evil side. I’d seen some of it but I found it baffling in the same way you react to a crazy person in the streets. I thought it was an aberration or just craziness. Now I see that that nastiness wasn’t aberrant at all. It was simply the half of women that is bad, or even evil.

So I definitely know women way too well, and it was sure a lot more fun when I was quite ignorant about them.

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8 thoughts on “Alt Left: I Know Them Too Well”

  1. Not really relevant to your post, but the mod of the Libby and Abby Reddit group claims she has “evidence” that at least one of your female Delphi sources (I’m assuming one of the searchers) is “trolling” you. See the post about “Puppies and Teddy Bears.”

    I’ve noticed she tends to post vague hints about things she has “evidence” of and can’t reveal fully right now, but will at a later date but never does. LOL. Some of her followers actually find this tactic convincing.

    I have no idea if your sources are correct or honest, but I think it’s really strange that people have no problem believing a middle aged guy calmly abducted and killed two kids in a public park, probably sexually abused one or both of them as well, but BY NO MEANS could have left dolls or stuffed animals at the scene. That’s just TOO out there. 🙄

    1. Yes, I saw that. It’s not true. I checked all of the sources for my latest revelations, and they’re all good. They’re almost all from women, usually middle-aged women, who I work closely with. That’s mostly who I work with, middle aged women. All of those women are rock-solid credible, they work closely to me, are loyal to me, and would never troll me with bullshit. Why doesn’t she come out and list the fake info that was given to me by this fake woman?

      By the way, posing as a fake source to a journalist and then feeding them deliberately bad or fake information just to show them up is as low as it gets. There are many things that we are simply unable to fact check, and since I don’t get paid a nickel to do this, I barely want to fact check things anyway.

      Your stories are as good as your sources. I have a BA in Journalism. We were trained to cultivate sources, and I’ve been doing this work for 45 years, since I was 18. I am an expert at obtaining, cultivating, and working closely with sources. I’m also very good at getting confidential or official documentation that are supposed to be hidden from public view. And I protect my sources too.

      She’s not exactly my friend either, by the way. She has a small amount of decency, so she’s a little better than the rest, but she’s not on my side.

      It would probably be better to post this material in the private group to tell the truth or at least on a Delphi thread.

    2. Oh wait. Is that the female search party member? Well, she never spoke to me. She spoke to a well-known podcaster. She also spoke to two women who I work closely with. We actually did some work to check her out before using her as a source and she checked out. By the way, she told those two women I know the exact same story as she told the podcaster.

      And we now have another female search party member come forward and she has validated much of what the first woman said. Also, we have been able to validate some of her information with three different LE officials, including a high ranking member of the investigation.

      I think she’s trying to cover her ass. Perhaps like Leaker she’s been outed as the source for the crime scene info and she’s covering up for being the leaker of the info by saying it was all lies. Leaker did this too. The main suspect he was discussing could have been none other than Mr. X. It completely blew up and a lot of people started suspecting Mr. X of the crime.

      In order to cover his ass, he made up a lie and said that Mr. X was not a suspect because he didn’t want to be responsible for outing Mr. X. I’m really disappointed in him for doing that and it shows he lacks integrity. However, I regard his information about Mr. X as largely correct. If this search party member is now saying she lied and trolled me to get off the hook for leaking crime scene info, then she’s a low quality person who lacks integrity also. Many or perhaps most humans lack integrity at a basic level. It’s probably only a minority of people who truly have integrity.

  2. When a person’s perceived self-image/self-conception is brought into conflict by your perceived self-image/self-conception of that person; there is bound to be a clash due to the psychological dissonance brought to the forefront of that person’s consciousness.

    The better you know a person the more legitimate and deeper your ‘affront’ feels to them.

    BTW, why did you delete the post about “Advice to Shiv” or something like that?

    It was a good post with a lot of interesting comments.

    1. Yeah he demanded that I delete that. Sorry. He’s a young guy, really moody and changes his mind all the time. He’s not the most stable guy out there. But he’s pretty typical for a young man. Young men are pretty flaky.

      In other words, when my image of myself clashes with other people’s image of me there is bound to be some harsh dissonance going on. Ah! So when someone knows you very well, this clash between their view of you and your view of yourself (the “affront” as you put it) gets stronger with increasing intimacy.

      Do I have that right?

      That’s sort of what I was saying about shame. One’s image of oneself typically leaves out all the dirty little secrets and instead poses a rose-colored glasses glorified and rather fake view of oneself that overemphasizes positive features and plays down or elides negative features.

      1. Yes, that is correct!

        Our inability to clearly see our selves from an unbiased, almost objective perspective is a major human limitation that is responsible for most of the problems in the world.

        The vast majority of people, even heinous criminals, view themselves as good, moral actors. People are often simply incapable of seeing their negative characteristics and personality traits. And if they do perceive their flaws, they often just justify them instead of working on fixing them.

        Other egos in the world by definition are not you and can perceive parts of you that you consciously or subconsciously hide from yourself. When this perception is projected back onto you during social interactions, the negative feelings that may arise from the cognitive dissonance manifest themselves as humiliation, shame, anger, and even hatred.

        This hatred is one of the reasons why people can be such little shits. In their minds they are totally justified in making you feel bad because you intentionally or unintentionally hurt their feelings or made them look bad in front of another person.

      2. A # of Indians I’ve seen here seem suicidal. Pretty sure Shi came back and said something suicidal.

        I personally believe you can make the best out of anywhere. With any people and place, there are ups and downs.

        I’ve had SEA men gayly blow on the other side of a glass window like suckerfish towards me. A # of men have hit on me and I was butt-grabbed by men a lot in my youth. I reacted angrily and it probably saved my ass. When we get older it happens less.

        Hang in there, Shi.

  3. I try to reject ego, and the NS I know really stressed this.

    I believe in nonsexual male closeness. Shvitz culture has this. It’s healthier to hug men regularly. Many straight men hold so much back just to appear manly or straight. A father won’t tell his son he loves him because emotions are for women. That’s a stupid wall many men put up. Being called gay, faggot, etc. often means nothing. It’s how Mexican guys say hola.

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