A commenter: Too much self-awareness leads to weakness and self-harm which, as you know, isn’t a good idea in any society let alone India.
Intuitively, it seems correct, but would any commenters like to expand on this?
Ignorance is bliss I guess. And you can obviously know others too well. This is why family members often hate each other so much. It’s all tied up with shame. You see, your family members know you inside and out, up and down, forwards and backwards, warts and all. They know the good side of you but boy do they know the bad side of you too. They know all your secrets. Nothing is hidden from them.
Hence, they are quite dangerous if they ever decide to spill the beans. The father who comes home from work, kicks the dog, yells at the kids, and badgers the wife is operating on this principle. Obviously, he’s displacing the rage he feels towards others at work whom he is not allowed to express it too. But it’s also the shame. The dog doesn’t know his secrets, but everyone else does. He looks at them and knows that they know his secrets and that makes him very angry because he feels ashamed. Rage often follows shame.
I’ve come to the conclusion that with a lot of people, it’s better to know a little bit about them than a lot about them. I know the locals at the local stores pretty well and they treat me like long-lost family every time I walk in. But I don’t know them very well. I’ve never hung out with them outside of work. I know nothing of their home life. So I’m really quite ignorant of these people. But from my limited vantage point, I can mostly see good things about these folks. I have no doubt that once I got to know them better, I could see a bad side of them. People tend to be on good behavior at work, especially if they face the public.
I feel this way about women too. I get called misogynist all the time, but it’s not really true. Actually I love women. But in spite of all the great times I’ve had with women in my life, I’ve had some of my worst experiences on Earth with none other than women, particularly girlfriends. They’ve hurt me as badly or worse than anyone else. So I love them, but they’ve caused me a lot of pain and this makes me angry.
Also I understand women pretty well. In part it is because I’m not the most masculine guy out there. When I was younger, people sometimes thought I was gay. A number of them refused to believe I was straight even when I told them. I have no idea why they thought this because I’m not effeminate. Maybe I’m just soft. Everyone thinks soft men are gay, but actually most soft and even wimpy men (two different types actually) are straight. Wimpy gay men are so wimpy it’s ludicrous. Some gay men are soft, but most others tend to be effeminate.
Anyway I get along with women very well or at least I did until I got to late middle age and the female population of the Earth starting hating me. I will confess that women my age still like me. But that’s about it. Young women seem to utterly detest me. I can’t even talk about the weather with them. But my whole life I’ve got on well with women. Often most of my friends were women.
I used to say I wouldn’t mind being around women all the time and being around men as little as possible. To this day, I prefer the company of women to that of men. And one reason for that is, I must admit, that there’s a part of my brain that literally thinks like a woman. In this way I can connect with them very well whereas with most other people, the male-female dyad seems to be some odd connection of opposites.
Anyway, the problem is that I definitely know women too well. Way too well. Way too well for my own good. And to tell the truth, I liked them more (but in a very stupid and naive way) when I didn’t understand them so well. As I’ve come to know them better and better, I’ve grown more cynical about them.
You see, I can see the whole wonderful good side of women (and girls for that matter, as I love girls too). The good side of women is one of the most glorious things in God’s green Earth.
And then there is the bad side.
A good way to look at a lot of things is to say they are 50% good and 50% bad. Men are 50% good and 50% bad. Women are the same.
The bad side of men is utterly terrifying as in literally physically dangerous to life and limb, but the bad side of the Feminine Principle is pretty monstrous too, with the exception that they won’t hurt you physically. They will hurt you verbally, psychologically, and spiritually, but they don’t tend to engage in physical violence. That is in the universe of the men.
The thing is that I often find myself regretting that I know women so well. It was a lot more fun when I walked around half the time thinking “I love women! I love women!” I thought that mostly because I hadn’t really figured out their bad or even evil side. I’d seen some of it but I found it baffling in the same way you react to a crazy person in the streets. I thought it was an aberration or just craziness. Now I see that that nastiness wasn’t aberrant at all. It was simply the half of women that is bad, or even evil.
So I definitely know women way too well, and it was sure a lot more fun when I was quite ignorant about them.