People are saying these are different processes, but really they’re the same, no?
By the way, this is a good idea to take out into the world with you when dealing with others. What was the cause of this person’s reaction to me? My behavior or appearance (sort of the same thing but not quite). What was the effect of my behavior/appearance on this person? Their resultant behavior. Even works for bigotry. Bigots are reacting to your appearance mostly, not so much to your behavior. If it seems like self-blaming, well, it is. We are the cause of other people’s reactions to us, right, wrong, or indifferent.
Even if people have evil or immoral reactions to us, we still caused the reaction. Jews caused the evil Nazi reaction by their appearance, by the simple fact that they were Jews. It’s not the Jews’ fault, but that was the cause of Nazi behavior. Why did that woman get raped? She was an attractive young woman who happened to be in the general vicinity of some raping maniac, and her appearance and behavior caused his urge to rape her to unfold. She still innocent because all she was doing was existing as a human being, and he still gets all the years in prison you want to throw at him, but she’s still the cause of his behavior. This is true for just about anything.
Cause and effect. Cause and effect. Cause and effect. It’s how the world goes round. Or the universe, if you prefer to get expansive.