Women are like children in some ways. They want to be led.
They’re followers who want to be dominated and led by a strong person. They’re also very needy, though they hate us for being this way.
Women want you to be available. They want you to be there for them. They almost get a disorder like the Childhood Attachment Disorder when you’re not. This is a disorder of little kids who can’t be on their own or cry when they’re separated from their parents.
I had a woman staying with me several years ago. Now and then, they come stay here. She even flew in on a plane! We spent several days together. Towards the end we were back here, and I had to go off on my own and write. You know we writers are all loners and spend most of our time reading and writing.
Reading and writing is almost a “sensual pleasure” for us, like watching a movie, playing a sport, a dinner party, or a European vacation. I used to get dropped off a the USC library, and my ride would come back 10 hours later. It seemed like an hour to me, or even minutes. I would have a pile of books on my desk. I’d been gobbling books for 10 hours. I didn’t want to leave. It was as exciting to me as a Caribbean cruise or a safari to Africa. My rides were stunned that I could stay there all day long without a moment of boredom. But that’s us. That’s us writers.
Anyway, there was a bit of a fight over this because I had to go off and be alone, and as I said, women want you around all the time. So we made a deal. She would stay in the living room and read a book or whatever and I would go to my office and write. About once and hour she would come in, and and we would make out wildly like high school kids for 5-10 minutes. There was no actual genital sex, but it was still a blast. That was all she needed. Seven minutes out of an hour of pure contact fix. Then she could go be alone for another 53 minutes.
There was a certain long-term girlfriend who got mad and me from time to time and really blasted me. But none of it was coming from a place of cruelty or evil. I just hurt her feelings somehow. The anger was coming from a place of innocence, not a place cruelty. So I never blasted her, not even once in 1 1/2 years. Because her anger and even rage was not coming from a place of cruelty but a place of hurt or even outrage.