My Mom said that an older woman, 50 years old, I dated recently broke up with me because I was too nice. I told my Mom her life story. This woman had experienced a seemingly endless list of maniacs, guys pulling guns on her, death threats (even with guns), violent rapes, child molestations, and even one rape assault that nearly left her for dead and caused neurological damage. has happened to her over and over. The last man she was with was an ex-Marine. She broke up with him because he kept having bad dreams and trying to strangle her in his sleep.
Ladies, if you are with a man like this, get away from. Sure, he’s doing it in his sleep but there’s something very bad in his subconscious. And I’m sure it’s seeping over into his conscious mind. Men like this are dangerous. A lot of them really like to hurt women.
My Mom listened, shook her head and said, “She likes violent men. She’s literally picking out men who are going to get violent or menacing with her and then they do it. She’s seeking out her own abuse in some sense. You’re too nice. She dumped you because you’re too nice”
She’s probably right. This is the story of my life. I just can’t bring myself to be an asshole to women, at least as a matter of course. I would like to never fight at all, but no matter what a woman tells you, trust me, she wants to fight some of the time. Some women say they never want to fight, but I don’t believe them. And the ones who said that to me literally picked fights with me in cruel ways, even baiting me.
Sure, I can be one, especially if she is being bitchy and mean in a contemptuous, wicked, and unfair way, I will attack her back but only verbally. And I will call her every name in the book. Then there’s a big fight.
All your girlfriends are going to be mad at you and act unfriendly, cold, or even contemptuous and enraged at times. The key is not to rid the relationship of these feelings from her but instead to keep it at a minimum. I’m cynical now as I age to the point where if a relationship is good 51% of the time, it’s it’s almost ok for me.
The weird thing is that ever since I started cussing women out like a maniac when they unload on me unfairly like that, I’ve had the most satisfying relationships of my life. More women have fallen in love with me and for longer. I’ve had four different women want me to move with them and marry them just in the past several years. That never happened before. And they loved me so deeply, usually deeper than most women had loved me before.
I don’t think most women like or want bad men. I do think they want a a man who won’t take any crap from them and will rip them a new one and even terrorize or terrify them when unload on him viciously or unfairly. They want a man who loves them deeply but won’t take any crap. This is the man they wish to love with all their heart and all their soul.
So when men say, “You’ve got to treat them like shit…you’ve got to be an asshole to women” in a voice with the knowledge of experience, this is what they are talking about it, though they may have a faulty understanding of this concept. A woman wants a man who will be mean or an asshole to her when she attacks him unfairly. She wants a nice guy in a way but a nice guy who doesn’t take any crap and almost turns psycho when she rip loose on him.
So, do women like assholes, as everyone says? Not exactly. Maybe 1/3 do. But a lot of women really don’t.
But one thing women despise is wimps. A wimp by definition is a man who won’t fight back. If you met me you might think I’m a wimp, and I’ve been called that before by women. But no woman who truly knows me would ever call me that. If you say that it just means you don’t really know me.
I have a very soft voice, I’m quiet, cerebral, well-dressed and mannered, unfailingly polite and so nice you don’t even believe it’s real. Wimps are classically like this.
But my Mom said, “You’re not a wimp. You fight back!” Absolutely. If you fight back and especially if you fight back hard, Hell no you’re not a wimp. Women say they hate it when you read them the riot act, but I think they secretly love you for fighting back against them and not taking any of their crap.