The Sexual Sadist

In the Delphi Murders case, one of the early suspects who has since been completely cleared was rumored to like to drink and beat women when he had sex with them. Reportedly he beat one woman so badly that she had to go to the hospital. In the Karenna McClerkin disappearance in the same area of Indiana, one of the suspects is a Black firefighter who reportedly likes to beat his women when he has sex with them.

Although this behavior sounds horrific, it’s more common than one thinks. And even more bizarrely, there a quite a few women who actually like to get treated like this. Yep, they actually like guys to beat them up when they have sex with them. I’d like to avoid women like this as much as I can in life, although I once had a girlfriend like this who wanted me to inflict pain on her, like squeezing her nipples very hard. It didn’t do anything for me, and I didn’t understand how this was supposed to be exciting. It just seemed sick to me.

Of course all of us men have a sadist buried inside of us from boyhood days. Not a sexual sadist because boys have no sex drive but an ordinary sadist? Of course. It’s the natural state of the Boy in Nature. Nevertheless, part of the process of honing a steel boy from the brittle iron of primitive mammalian boyhood via the fire of the cruel boot camp where rough and dirty boys are minted into shiny new men is to progressively stomp out this primitive mammalian sadist in the boy. It gets drummed into our heads as we move through boyhood more and more that this sort of thing is not acceptable in a man.

Young men still have a lot of sadism in them. This is part of the reason why they’re such assholes, and I say this as a former ill-behaved young man myself. As a man moves beyond 30, even this casual sort of social sadism, often written out as a male bonding practice via ribbing, teasing, etc., becomes increasingly “uncool.” At my age, late middle age, you’re just not supposed to act like this. Ever. With any man. No matter what. It seen as “uncool” and immature behavior.

Besides, it marks you as a huge dick. Feminists think we are monsters and a lot of red-pilled men seem to enthusiastically agree with them! This isn’t really true. But on the Manosphere range where the boors and the reprobates play, the guys are not pleasant all day. I find it ugly. I don’t like to fight with guys. I don’t even like to compete with them. I’m a Sigma Male. I don’t even have to compete. I look out and other men and think, “Competition? You call that competition LOL?” and never think of it anymore.

Anyway, the feminists need to know that it’s perfectly acceptable to be a real nice guy even in Man World, the world of masculine heterosexual men. You don’t have to be a dick. Honest.

Back to sexual sadism. Sadly, there are probably lots of guys who like to beat and hurt women during sex, but just because some guy is screwed up like that doesn’t make him a murderer. And most guys like that probably never kill. They can definitely hurt women pretty badly though, that’s for sure.

The problem is it’s a bit hard to beat someone up “just a little bit.” Once you start beating people up, it tends to get out of hand pretty quickly.

Also this type, the sexual sadist, tends to get more excited as he hurts people, and hence he might feel his behavior escalating during the act. It’s not unusual for these people, almost always men, to show up in therapist’s offices as their sexual sadism escalates concerned that the last time they did it they felt themselves escalating and had to stop themselves. They show up afraid they may kill someone next.

This disorder, like many mental disorders (at least to a point), tends to be progressive and worsen with time, at least without treatment.

I’m not sure why that is, but if I’ve learned one thing in life it’s that bad things if left alone to fester tend to worsen, not get better, over time. We like to think that time wounds all heels, but it’s just not so. The untreated bad get worse, not better. Whether this is due to life sucking in general, Pynchonian entropy, the Spenglerian life process itself, or simply God Himself being a Sadean son-of-a-bitch is not known. After all, our bodies themselves are entropic. Over time, they tend to worsen until they fall apart and dissolve themselves.

I recall a woman on the Net had some sick fetish where she wanted men to pretend to murder her during sex. So she had this sort of sex with ~10 different guys, and she said in a lot of the cases, the men got more and more excited as it escalated, and a number of the men said they had to stop themselves or they would have killed her.

These men may not have ever been full-blown sexual sadists. Instead, it is more than the case that sadistic sexual violence in both sexual sadists and normals tends to cause excitement in the male as the violence unfolds. As the excitement goes up, so does the violence in tandem. The end result can be seen in the crime pages of the big papers every morning. You remember that feeling as a boy when you got more excited as your psychological or physical sadism progressed against your victim? I do. If you don’t I wonder what’s wrong with you.

This type of sexual paraphilia is rather dangerous. Most never kill but it’s like handing someone a stick of dynamite, telling them to play with it and walking out of the room to leave them alone to their fun and games.

A lot of people like to play around the edges with this sort of thing in sex, but they’re not seriously wrapped up in it as in the BD/SM lifestyle, which I regard as completely sick in its full-blown manifestation.

As long as it’s just a game that confines itself to the bedroom, it’s seems to be OK.

But in my opinion, most if not all serious sexual sadists and even sexual masochists are not very healthy people, and I’ve been studying this from a rather appalled distance for some time now. Women who come out of relationships with sexual sadists that have lasted over five years, often if not always appear to return to society damaged, and the damage often looks like a battered woman. The relationships themselves, when viewed from a distance, look precisely like the abusive male-female relationships you hear so much about, albeit in these cases, the abuse is completely consensual on the part of the woman.

It’s always consensual on the man’s part. He’s the one dishing it out after all. Most people who dish out abuse are quite happy to do so, and guilt is not commonly experienced because the man most likely to feel guilt is the least likely to be abusive so they factor themselves out before it even starts. As usual, the worst men feel the best and the best men feel the worst, and this applies to women too.

I’m not sure if there’s any safe or healthy way to do this sort of thing. And in case you’re wondering, not that it matters, but this is not exactly my bag. I prefer to like and love the women I’m with, not hate them.

But I’ve studied serial killers forever as a hobby, and this is a major part of their pathology. Also I work in mental health and a lot of the people I work with are dealing with antisocial thoughts – molesting children, committing homicide, etc. As I specialize in this stuff, I end up having a relationship with this sort of thing whether I want to or not.

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14 thoughts on “The Sexual Sadist”

  1. Women shouldn’t like this stuff. Nonetheless, they always have a desire for men who aren’t “too nice”. In that case, it’s advised to play “hard to get” a lot. Well, the other option is actually becoming a sadist – lol.

  2. I’m a Sigma Male

    Robert, I really like this Sigma male concept. I wish I had known it before.

    Here’s its definition on

    Sigma male is a slang term used in masculinist subcultures for a popular, successful, but highly independent and self-reliant man. Another term for a sigma male is a lone wolf.

    Sigma male has seen most of its usage by the same members of what is known as the manosphere and who use other Greek letters to form a social hierarchy, such as Alpha male, Beta male, and Omega male. The term has also been used to mock all of these labels used to categorize men.

    That last line really hits home for me. I always resented this whole classification of men into Greek sub-categories. Masculinity is more complex than that.

    So the Sigma male – a lone wolf doesn’t believe in any of this stupid classification.

    Also, from the definition:

    A Sigma male likes to succeed in life and in relationships without actively engaging in social interaction. The sigma male is introverted and shuns mainstream society, yet still manages to be a successful man who is popular with women.

    WOW! Why would I wanna be anything else but a Sigma?

    But here’s a small problem. That term was coined by a far-right White nationalist, activist Theodore Robert Beale.

    He has his own website, Vox Day: where he explores the concept in much detail.

    I’m as anti-far right as they come. Do you think we should appropriate a term coined by one of them? A bit of moral conundrum there.

    Other than that, SIGMA does sound so much cooler.

    1. Yes! I always thought you were a Sigma! You go your own way, don’t answer to anyone, are basically a permanent rebel, and IMHO, should probably work for yourself because I can see you have problems taking orders and kissing ass at a workplace. Yes, I think you are a Sigma! Are you?

      It’s quite all right. A lot of this Manosphere stuff comes from rightwingers. That’s just the way it goes.

      It’s interesting. I told my 85 year old mother, very old school, about this Alpha – Beta – Omega thing and she listened very closely and thought a bit. Then she said, “You are right. Of course this is true. Anyone can see that.”

      There’s a saying that if you want to know the truth about anything, ask an old lady. Most of us spend our adult lives lying like maniacs because there is too much downside to tell the truth, especially career-wise. We have so much to protect and so much to lose. Women do the same. After a man retires, he hasn’t much to lose anymore other than his life, but I still see a lot of older men being quite defensive about a lot of things.

      They can also be a lot more honest than younger men though. This may be why people thought elders were the wisest. Other than the obvious, they’ve got nothing to lose anymore in life so they don’t have to lie constantly to prop up their egos or keep their jobs and friends.

      But an old woman? She truly has nothing to lose anymore. She has nothing to protect. She has stopped working and trying to attract men. Her most precious commodity, her looks, are shot. What is there to protect against? What downside is there to serious honestly? Nothing at all!

      I call this, “Your grandparents were right” and it’s one of the main themes of the Alt Left. We spit at our ancestors at our peril.

      I say we take our ideas from anywhere. If this White nationalist is right about something, I will use his ideas. Hell, the term “Alt Left” itself came from these same Nazis. Thank you, Nazis! Take your wisdom wherever you can find it. Even very bad people are often correct a lot of the time. Take what you need from them and reject the rest.

      1. Thanks for clearing that one up.

        Believe it or not, people sometimes ask me how the hell did I develop my wry wit and the ability to resolve complex problems and charm anyone, I tell them I learned from a “guru” of mine named Robert. 🙂

        SIGMA it is.

        1. Wow! That’s the best compliment I’ve heard in a long time.

          The difference to me is that Alphas are acutely aware of status and hierarchy and a lot of them are dicks. After all the basic male agenda is

          1. Kill, eliminate, defeat, or sideline all the other men.
          2. Fuck all the women*.

          *A sexually mature female is basically regarded as a woman in this primitive construct.

          That’s the male drive on Earth, and that’s what it is for many higher mammals too. Alphas are dicks! If they see you as a male threat, they will often insult you right to your face to establish dominance over you and eliminate you as a threat. They might do it to men who are not a threat, too. They’re dicks to other men.

          In a bar, an Alpha might be looking around at the other men. If he talks to another man, he quickly sizes him up as far as where he is on the hierarchy scale – if he is below, on the level with or above the Alpha. He might be friendly to the lower guy because he’s not a threat. Anyway, his response to those other men is going to be based on wherever they are on that hierarchy scale.

          Now the Sigma, he simply doesn’t care. I used to say that when I am in a bar or a club, there are this many people in the club:

          1. All of the attractive women. The unattractive ones are not really in the room.

          2. Me! None of the other men even exist! There could be 20-30 guys in that room, but they’re not even there to me at all. They may as well be invisible. Now, they can talk to me, no problem. But I don’t really size them up as above, on the level, or below me. They’re still sort of not even in the room!

          If someone asked me whether I was threatened by those other hot guys in the club, I would look around the room and say, “Competition? What competition? I don’t see any competition.” Then I would laugh. It’s not that I have measured myself and bested all of them, and now I look down on them. It’s more that they are not even there are at all to me!

          Even if some guy seems like he is besting me, I will write it off and still say he’s not competition. So I don’t bother with social heirarchies and all of that.

          I think I’m hot shit and I don’t know or care if it’s true or not. I think this way because it feels good to feel this way. The Sigma is an egotistical loner. In a way he’s above everyone else, but in another way, he’s not even in the same room or maybe on the same planet with them.

          I’ve found that when you get yourself out of the competing with other guys realm, it is so freeing. Competition? What competition? I don’t even know if that’s true. It’s probably not even true. But it’s such a pleasant lie that I’m going to go ahead and think it anyway.

          The Sigma has literally dropped out of the game altogether because it doesn’t interest him.

          1. You’re the Obi-Wan Kenobi of our era, Robert. And by that, I mean the most authentic Obi-Wan, Sir Alec Guinness (R.I.P.). Certainly not pretty boy Ewan McGregor.

            Of course I’m more of a Han Solo than Luke Skywalker. Only a moron wants to be a full-time Jedi: I like to embrace my inner Darth Vader as well.

            Anyway your ideas are far ahead of your time. One day the world will realize your true worth. Although I’m afraid much like Van Gogh, Keats, Kafka, and Thoreau, a large part of it may come posthumously.

            But your ideas will continue to live on in the hearts and minds of all those you inspired!

    2. Don’t think Vox Day even is a far right WN, he’s a part non-White Christian nationalist. We are all Nazis according to ADL and the mindless hordes of normies. Interesting how right, creative, funny, and generally good the so called “bad guys” are.

      The comedic view that the most interesting people are in Hell rings true. The fires of Hell? Full of spice and horny she-devils led by a charming prince and full of truly unique people speaking their mind freely? Or a woke safe space full of constantly offended genderless and raceless dullards, a minefield of triggers, appease one you set even more off.

      1. We are all Nazis according to ADL and the mindless hordes of normies. Interesting how right, creative, funny, and generally good the so called “bad guys” are

        Correct. I am not going to judge that site author anymore. He invented a beautiful concept which is worth our admiration.

        A woke safe space?

        Donald Trump contributed much to the recent theories of “wokeness” – another moral conundrum for me.

        Am I going to follow that despicable human being? But I like one of his quotes: “Be woke. Go broke.”

        1. I hate this woke nonsense too. And I hate Donald Trump as much as anyone alive. You can take good ideas from anyone, even the people you hate more than anyone on Earth. Ideas are like fruit on a tree that’s free for picking? What does it matter what sort of tree it is? There’s free fruit on it! Go ahead and pick some and quit worrying!

          Even though I despise Trump, I admit that he was right about a few things, and I even supported a few of his policies in some ways in spirit if not in practice.

    1. SS kind of looks like DJT with long black hair. Talks like him too. Still Pro-trump but Dear Leader does have some issues. You did an article about Cluster B where you go over this about DJT.

      1. Check out that video. He is always shitting on Jean Claude Van Dam who is cleary a real martial artist. His narcissistic insecurities are blatant.

    2. It’s a bigger leap to be arrogant in Japan. While ultimately attracted to the dark side, I’m a bit of a Wookie-lover.

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