– Straight? LOL Straight. Sure, straight-boy. No such thing as straight people. We’re all a bit gay. Ask Freud. Bi is cool. All woke guys are kinda bi. Lots of “straight” guys suck dick now. And once you suck that first cock, man, you’ll wonder what you’ve been missing with your face glued to the carpet all those years.
– Ok, ok. Maybe I’m not so straight after all?
– Now you’re thinking, straight-boy.
Straight man goes off to stare at his navel and contemplate whether or not he is truly 100% heterosexual. After several hours, he gets no answer and he’s more confused than when he started. Nevertheless, he feels he’s made some progress. He goes back to his gay bros to give them a progress report.
– Hi, gay boys! I’m still working on my homophobia. I won’t call you fags anymore! Cool or what?
– Not good enough, breeder. If you don’t get your pussy-loving ass to our next pride parade, we’ll put Gay Roofies in your drinks and turn you into a cock-sucking faggot!
– Damn, I’m sorry. I’ll go your sicko parade, but I’ll have earplugs and sunglasses so dark I can barely see out of them.
– Nope, not good enough. Got any gay friends yet?
– Um, no?
– Why not? Afraid they’re going to seduce you?
Well, yeah, I had a number of them, and they all did just that. They’re lucky I didn’t gay-bash their homo asses.
– See! You’re still a homophobe! Worse than that, you’re probably one of us! Is that terrible or what? Being gay is worse than cancer, and now you’re queer for life. Get out of that damned closet, homophobe, and join the circuit party!