Ted Bundy was a malignant narcissist. Donald Trump literally has the same psychiatric diagnosis as Ted Bundy. Sit back and let that sink in a moment.
I noted that the malignant narcissist is “the personality of the dictator,” as I call it. Is Mr. Trump not an incipient dictator, cut loose at the last moment by his long-suffering subjects? Most malignant narcissists are not dictators, of course. There aren’t enough job openings for that position to go around. But are they nevertheless, shall we say, dictators among men? Perhaps.
In the World of Women, Ted Bundy stood tall. He strode like a king. One could even say that he reigned supreme. If God is the dictator of the cosmos, Ted was an earthly counterpart. Ted held the power of life and death over countless women. That’s what God does. He holds the power of life and death over humans.
Was that why he did it? Who knows? After decades of studying psychopaths, I’m about ready to throw in the towel. It’s one of those crazy things where after studying something for many years, it seems like you know less than when you began. When you started out, your mind was full of certainties. Now that you have plumbed to the depth of the subject, they’ve all dissolved into unanswerable questions that only beget more and more questions in a maze with no beginning, no end, and no escape.
I think the only way to understand someone like that is to be one, and even if you were one, you might not be able to explain why you act that way. For while these people are not crazy at all and are in fact some of the sanest people on Earth, at the same time, they are profoundly sick, and in some ways, while being formally sane, I now believe that these are some of the most disturbed people around. Disturbed? Yes. Sick? Yes. Bad, evil? Yes. Crazy? ‘Fraid not. Sane? Sadly yes, and this is precisely why they are so dangerous. If they were nuts, we could more easily spot and protect ourselves form them.
Most people can’t wrap their minds around that conundrum at all. How can you be sick, disturbed, bad, and evil and yet completely sane and not the slightest bit nuts? Think about it. See if you can get it. I only figured it out in the last 10 years or so. I’ll give you a gold star if you can see it.
Ever felt like killing someone? Of course, being human and especially male, I’ve had these feelings.
Once I discussed them with a therapist. I told him about how sometimes I couldn’t get rid of them, so I would just sit there and be with them and try to get as comfortable as I could, knowing I wouldn’t do it.
“I am going to kill you,” I would think.
“And how does that feel?” he asked.
“Wow!” I said. “It’s the most powerful feeling you can possibly imagine! You sit there looking at someone and thinking, ‘I am going to kill you right now’ (though you know you won’t do it), and you get calm and relaxed with it, and you are literally one hundred feet tall! You feel like God! Like God himself!”
“That’s right,” he said. “Only God can give and take a life. When you assign yourself that power, you are as big as God. That’s one reason people do that, kill people. To feel as big as God. It’s the ultimate power rush.”
I don’t recommend feeling that way but it’s not a bad way to feel if you really, really hate someone.