It could also be a “cold, hot” thing where they like and dislike you. It’s certainly hellish. Either keep the faith for an eventual turn to hot or get out.
That’s typically what’s going on. I will be absolutely convinced that one of these shitty people hates me, but then they get control over their irritability, and they act like your best friend! In that case, no, they don’t hate you, and yes, the reason they acted that way was completely down to them.
Think: Did you act any different when the person was being irritable towards you than you do when they are being nice? You were probably acting nicer when they were being irritable! That’s because my reaction to an irritable person is to try to say things that I know they agree with or that they can’t possibly disagree with.
But they will always find a way to twist whatever you’re saying around to where it’s somehow hostile. I used to joke about my father that I could tell him the sun comes up in the east and sets in the west, and he would find some way to disagree with it.
Often you will find the person wildly arguing with you, and when you stop and think about the nature of the argument, you realize that you both agree with each other, but the irritable person is somehow twisting your agreement into you disagreeing with them.
Sometimes they say you are taking the opposite person that you are. Other times they will contradict themselves in the same argument just to disagree with you. You can say something you know they will agree with, and they will take the opposite position just to be an asshole. Then you get frustrated and argue the other position, and then they fight you on that one. They will literally take both sides of an argument and argue with you from both points of view! If you point out that they are contradicting themselves, they will usually deny it, blow up, or walk out of the room.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve yelled at these idiots, “But you agree with me! I agree with you! We agree with each other! Why in the Hell are you arguing with me if we agree?”
These people are just “spoiling for a fight.” They’re like pigs, excuse me, cops. They’re “fight-pickers.” They “pick” on people and the weaker the person seems, the more they will pick on them. So many times I remember saying something that they could not possibly disagree with, and I could see them shifting in their chair uncomfortably. They were mad because I said something they could not disagree with! They wanted to fight and I was making it hard for them by trying to get along!
I’ve even seen them search around for an argument when I say something innocuous. They are thinking wildly, “I want so badly to disagree with him, but I can’t find anything to disagree with!” Finally they will grasp on one part of whatever you said and make some stupid argument about it.
Another problem with saying inoffensive things is that the irritable person will resort to, “What a stupid question!” type of responses. That’s pretty shitty. I never accuse anyone of asking a stupid question. Most questions are worthy of an answer. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a stupid question.
Another thing you will notice about irritable people is that they argue with every single thing you say. It sometimes takes a while to figure out someone is arguing with everything you say because our minds (or at least my mind) are optimistic, and we always want to think things are going fine or going to work out even when they’re not and they won’t.
So someone will be arguing with everything you say, but due to our built-in optimism and tendency to reject unpleasant interpretations of reality, it will take a while before your defenses drop enough to where you can figure out that, “Yeah, they are arguing with everything I say just to be assholes.”
Most of the time, I’ve found that with irritable people, it’s just them. They feel bad internally but it is intolerable to admit that, so they project it out. Instead of saying, “I feel bad (and it’s my fault for not controlling my feelings better,” people will prefer to say, “No, I’m fine! I don’t feel bad inside at all. I do a great job of controlling my emotions! And everything would be fine except for this one jerk-off who is trying to talk to me and is really pissing me off.
In particular though, the one thing you need to do with someone who is arguing with everything you say is to simply get away from that person. The problem with that is that people are social, and escaping from others often leads to loneliness. I’m living with an irritable jerk-off right now, and I just figured out that, yep, he’s irritable again this afternoon, though it took me a while to figure it out.
So I decided to just stop talking to them. So they are sitting in the other room, watching TV, and I am here in my room typing on a computer. If I were alone here it would not feel bad, but when you are in the same house with someone you are avoiding because they are so unpleasant, the loneliness is rather painful. Here’s a person I can talk to, right in the other room, but I can’t because they’re a huge asshole! Part of me keeps wanting to go in there and say something, but the other part of me keeps saying don’t do that.
If they are truly arguing with everything you say, there’s no way you will be able to talk about agreeable or inoffensive things enough to keep them from doing that. Arguing with everything you say. Read that. See where it says, everything you say? Well, that means everything. Not only that but they will also act annoyed by everything you do too, so if you go out where they are and just do some things silently, they will keep looking over at you in an annoyed way and often will yell at you for something you are doing.
So you can’t even act silent around them. You pretty much need to isolate yourself away from them. I prefer a door with a lock because once I click that lock, I feel so much better for some reason. They don’t barge in anyway, but hearing that lock click makes me feel protected, even if the feeling is irrational.
How Irritable People Are Like Insects with Feelers
I now think that irritable people are like insects. Ever seen those feelers a lot of insects have that extend above them and seem to be sampling the world around them in some way? Or maybe like radio transmitters scanning the spectrum for a signal. They have these irritable feelers out here probing around in the world, basically looking for something to get angry about. If an irritable person is not angry, that feels bad because people like this actually enjoy being pissed off.
Well, if you are looking around at this Clown Sphere, especially in the Current Year, for things to get mad about it, I would say that you are likely to find just that. The feelers are going out all over the world sort of like wayward periscopes, looking for things in the environment to attach themselves to so they can get angry. They feelers usually will attach to anyone in the same room with them. They will attach to various objects in the room. That is why you see people cursing out toaster ovens and kicking couches.