Excellent comment here
Claudius: I learned this lesson the hard way. Saying or even slightly acting desperate will get you cock-blocked. However, I too am handsome, so maybe that’s why when I play chill, it works. I’ve learned that if I, the man, think and set up the logistics of the hunt, I get laid. If I choose a date spot that’s fun, has booze, and is convenient located near a place where we can comfortably fuck, and the weather is good, all I have to do is bring her to that place.
If I let her, the woman, feel things out, I don’t necessarily get laid. 50/50 shot.
This is interesting. If you think it out, it works. If you let her feel it out, it doesn’t work. Maybe I am wrong letting the woman take charge or at least say so explicitly. I used to not say so explicitly. Instead I did something called “leaving the door open.” That’s an invitation for her to go for it and especially an invitation for her to be a slut. Slut-shaming is disastrous. I don’t know why men hope to have sex by slut-shaming women.
Claudius: Now, if she does fuck you, and you later ignore her, she will get offended, hurt, and then pull away for good. If a non-slut or a trying-to-reform slut fucks you, and you leave her, she wants to validate her thinking and believe she hasn’t been duped by a player. Hence the annoying calls and clinginess. Now, the smarter the girl, the less annoying she’ll be because she’s aware men don’t like this.
If she has gotten to the point where she is calling you all the time and not the other way around, she’s hooked. I hate to say it but you need to get to the point where you don’t call her that much. You need to get to the point where she asks, “Why don’t you call me?” in her plaintive voice and then sadly calls you a male chauvinist pig.
It sounds insane but women actually want you to ignore them and not call them and be a bit of a bastard in that sense. Perhaps it gives off an abundance mentality. All I know is you calling her day and night as a devoted madly in love man might do probably doesn’t work. She might even leave you! You’re being too nice!
And then when she calls all the time, every now and then insult her and call her a “cling-on” or a “remora” (it’s a fish; look it up). She will get insulted and hurt but then she will back off. Once again you are being a dick, but bizarrely, she actually wants you to be a dick. She wants you to tell her she’s being too clingy and then feel sad afterwards.
Women are crazy. In some ways, they sort of want you to mistreat them somewhat. Not mistreat them a lot or too much, just enough. Perhaps it shows her you are a badass Alpha bastard and not a clingy little Beta bitch. I have no idea. Female psychology is opaque on the best of days. At worst, any roadmap you try to her psyche fails and you are stranded with your hands in the air frustrated at her unfathomable behavior.
I have learned that there is actually a method to women’s madness. People think that people do things for no reason. I used to think this. Actually almost everything people do is for a reason. Put that idea into your head and walk around and see how the world lights up for you now. They might do things for bad reasons, yes. If they’re crazy, they seem to do senseless things. But even crazy people are usually doing their crazy stuff for a reason. It’s just that they’re doing it for a crazy reason, that’s all!
Women aren’t actually insane, even if they seem to be so. The average “crazy” woman often has no diagnosable DSM disorder, so she’s not mentally ill or crazy. And most women’s craziness is not even abnormal! It’s simply completely normal for women to be a little nutty like this. They are wired up this way. Perhaps if we men had that infernal hormonal stew boiling in our bodies, we might act pretty nutty too.
I have heard of MtF transsexuals, some of them hard stoics, who turned into complete basket cases on female hormones. They were emotionally out of control most of the time, had crying jags for no reason, and felt nonfunctional.
Considering that this is probably what’s going on in most women’s minds, I think women do a commendable job of keeping their shit together most of the time. Apparently they have learned to navigate this emotional hurricane and probably even control it most of the time.
The only reason they do this is because society and especially we men demand that they do. Where women are told that it is unladylike, dirty, slutty, or acting like “a woman of the streets” to be a basket case, women are quite stable. My Mom’s generation and class was very stable. Society simply demanded that they be this way. In return, their husbands were quite kind to them and supported them. It was a deal. You act sane and turn off your hurricane in your head and I support you, love you, and treat you well. Plus you get some self-respect for keeping your shit together.
Claudius: This has happened to me all the time. I screw girl once or twice. Then don’t talk to her for over a month because I really don’t give a fuck, and then crickets. There’s some maintenance work that has to be done in any relationship with a woman, even if all you want is a fuck buddy. Why? Because non-hooker women don’t have fuck buddies, only men do.
This is perfect. I’ve been meaning to say this for a long time. I don’t think women can really have sex without love. My Mom says they can’t or at least it’s very hard to. These new generations of women think they can act like men and do this, but they seem to be fooling themselves. I know a woman in her 30’s who’s had sex without love her whole life. She’s now over 100 men. She told me the other day that she’s never enjoyed sex one time. Masturbation is more fun. Why? Because for women, sex without love is often unfulfilling.
I believe that women may be able to handle a FWB thing for 2-3 months. Most sources say that after that, she’s simply going to start falling in love with you. Sugar daddies warn other men not to get too close to their sugar babies because they often fall in love with you when you do so.
And in my life, I’ve been shocked at how many times women I am dating seem to be falling in love with me. I think women fall in love all the time, but it ranges from falling a bit in love to falling crazy in love. “Love” as a word has no definition anyway.
I thought I must be some Alpha, but maybe it’s down to my purported good looks. Maybe women have a hard time fucking Chad without falling at least a bit in love. In fact, I have had women who had short relationships and broke it off with me apparently to keep from falling in love with me. I think this is what a lot of women’s one night stands are all about.
On the other hand, maybe it’s not down to looks, and it’s just a female tendency with most any man.
Claudius: If a woman fucks you more than once, she’s trying to marry you even if he’s not consciously aware of it. Hookers and one-night-stand girls have high sex drives. Don’t go looking for a wife there.
Yes. I am amazed at how quickly women fall in love with me. Often within a week or two of talking or even a day or even 15 minutes (!), they are asking me to come stay with them or move in with them.
So yes, a lot of women do act like they want to marry me in a sense. That’s what a woman in love looks and talks like. She acts like she wants to marry you. She usually wants to move in or for you to move in with her. I have no idea why they do this “I want to marry you” thing so quickly with me. It may be down supposed handsome looks once again. Maybe a lot of women want to marry Chad. That’s the idea, right? Prince in shining armor. The theme of most romance novels. I don’t know if women fall in love this fast with average or unattractive men.
Claudius: But the average chick has to go through a long self-brainwashing process to be willing to jump in the sack with a man.
Like Robert said in an earlier post, even if they want to fuck you, it doesn’t mean they will. They have to submit a 300-page long document to their Internal Statue Bureaucracy in their minds and get a dozen stamps of approval before those panties come off. Hence the need for men to ignore all soft “No”s from a woman. That’s just some low-level bureaucrat in her mind trying to disqualify you.
Well, of course, but we men also don’t understand. Don’t you men realize that women like to fantasize too, just like men? A woman might meet 10,000 guys who turn her on like Hell in a lifetime. Her horny brain probably fantasizes about having sex with them or at least wonders what it would be like. Now how many women fuck 10,000 men in a lifetime? And even if she thinks you’re hot as Hell, she might not want to have sex. I have had young women recently gushing over how handsome I am. Did they want to have sex? Not really. Or only for money. Money or dope. They were basically whores and meth addicts.
I learned long ago while still a teenager that the trick of getting women into bed is to shut off that damned brain of hers. The bureaucracy above is the Hamster Wheel. And boy, that does wheel spin and spin when a woman is thinking whether or not to have sex with a new person. Once you shut off her brain, she will go into purely emotional mode, and her body will probably get horny as Hell and tell her to have sex. With her brain shut off, she’s more likely to have sex. The more she thinks about it, the less likely she is to do it.