The Red Pill and PUA sites deny this, but I think it is true nonetheless. They claim that women can tell if a man is faking it or not, and there is a difference between, say, faking confidence and actually being confident.
That strikes me mostly as an affectation, a defense, and of course ultimately a cope, as so many things in life are when you get right down to it. I think they may have a bit of a point, but I think the effect size is probably pretty small.
For instance, I think of myself as a confident guy, but when I examine myself when I am in that situation, it’s clear that a lot of the time, I really don’t believe it and I’m covering up for some pretty massive insecurity way back there somewhere. So I try to get my head into a place where I don’t feel like I’m faking it. I feel like I’m just doing it and believing all the crazy lies that I tell myself about myself. If I don’t fully believe it, it does feel a bit off, at least to me. I’m not sure if anyone can tell, but it bothers me on some level, so I try not to feel that way.
My view:
If you think you’re confident, you’re confident. This one is a bit up in the air but perhaps not as much as we think it is. No insecure person thinks they’re confident. Of course we may have different definitions of confident. A long time ago, I thought I was fairly confident, but then extroverts would make friends with me and tell me that I lacked confidence.
I think they were just commenting on my introversion. Introversion and lack of confidence are not necessarily the same thing but of course extroverts confuse the two horribly because, well, because they’re extroverts and that’s what extroverts do. Some introverts are fairly confident in their odd way, often surprisingly confident for their introversion.
If you think you’re masculine, you’re masculine. This one seems like it is absolutely true. If you put the idea in your head that you’re a masculine guy, you simply automatically start acting more masculine right then and there. There’s no way that an effeminate, faggoty man is going to tell anyone that he’s masculine. I don’t think even wimpy men think they are masculine.
There are straight men who are “soft” but not effeminate. I call these men feminine rather than effeminate (acting like a woman). I’ve known a number of men like this. Some were good friends. As a general rule, they freely admitted that they were not particularly masculine, often laughing softly when they said it. And of course it caused problems in their relationships with women. I remember one friend who told me that a girlfriend used to hit him in a rather playfully but nevertheless in a frustrated way, telling him to act more like a man. He always laughed nervously and told her, “I can’t.”
But getting down to brass tacks, if you’re trying to do it, you’re doing it. I’m not sure anyone cares if you are “really doing it for reals” or “just faking it lol.”
Fake it til you make it, that’s the motto of life.
Who the Hell says women can even tell the difference? Women like Alpha behavior. I doubt if they have the slightest clue about what’s “real” Alpha behavior and what’s “fake” Alpha behavior, and I doubt if they even give a damn. No one cares what you are “really” like deep down inside. All they care about is that shiny exterior with all those fancy bells and whistles.
Life is all about surface appearances, bullshit, and lies and not about inner truths, deeper structures, or the ugly truth.
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