Backtracking on an Old Post

https://beyondhighbrow.com/2020/07/28/creating-the-indestructible-man-of-steel/

This article may have been written without really thinking. I think this torture woke me up to the fact I was a bad man.  However, to continue in this phase projects weakness to the woman. But I think if I hadn’t been humiliated like this, I wouldn’t have turned around.

Anyway, as noted in other posts, the next step is not contacting the unloving wife (for 30 days) thereby creating fertile ground for winning her respect back. In my case, the relationship isn’t going to mentioned or any negativity associated with it and if it is, I will go to another room and after that, go to my parent’s home for a day.

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Idolatry and the Relation to Relationships

In the Bible much is said about idolatry, and this is the missing ingredient in why I think porn use, love of money, etc. can be a major downfall in a relationship, basically turning the man into ice. Some people will say, “Ah, it’s not a big deal.” However, I don’t think they’re aware of how the things that men turn into idols slowly but surely destroy end up causing their own destruction.

In my case, these things made me self-absorbed to my girlfriend, causing the horrible thing going on now. I have to put in extreme measures like 30 day no-contact rules (sort of – because I have to live with her) just to win the respect back because even if I did start it, I cannot show weakness. This only drives the woman away.

Now while I am married to her, the bottom line is I haven’t won back her heart. In fact, even her recent sucking up is something I don’t buy. Unless extreme measures are taken pretty soon, she’s going to start mocking me again. In that case, I won’t be able to take it!

Think about it – if she was bullying me for a whole month over my supposed cheating and had righteous anger over other things, what’re the odds that she’s going to stop the snide little comments? Believe me, it’s those little smart-ass comments that get under my skin, feeding my insecurity.

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The Toxic Relationship Excuse

The thing is, most relationships – even with seemingly normal people – can become toxic. We simply can’t get out of the relationship just because it’s toxic. The mean things said probably aren’t what the person really wants to say but more that they are fed by anger and resentment.

In that case, as I’ve noted in other posts, the person has to appeal to the subconscious to really make the other love them because that’s the real problem. As noted, love is not logical.

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When Your Wife Is Calling You Retard and Autistic

I don’t know what to make of this, except she was in some “falling out of love” phase. Come on, if the guy she was cucking me for was retarded, she’s be in his special-ed class everyday for tutoring!

Anyway, the mom says the woman’s in love but fighting it, but I think the problem is she was falling out of love. On the other hand, I believe she’s coming back out of it. She didn’t really mean what she said, but it’s probably just being mean- revenge for my bad treatment of her for many months.

She has a niece who’s autistic. She isn’t cruel to her.

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Married Three Times?

If people are marrying three times, I figure they don’t know much about keeping a marriage. Maybe they married the wrong one, but maybe not. Come on – people fall in love with what seem to be bad matches.

Well, in my opinion, keeping a marriage going would be the same as finding a mate to begin with. You don’t want to appear desperate and boring. You want to keep the surprises up.  All this taps into the mate’s subconscious because ultimately love is not logical.

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Be Careful What You Wish For!

I was thinking lately some sci-fi thing where I thought, “If men could fool women into falling madly in love with them, could it come out with bad consequences later on?” You might think that’s the woman of your dreams, but what if she isn’t? Nowadays, we probably got lots of guys taking on this, “Don’t be boring” “Be a  Mystery to Women” advice, and perhaps they really are getting the women they desire, but is the desire really the best destiny?

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Is Fussing a Sign of Real Love?

I’m confused on this. Well, my wife’s mom, one of these old-time country women said it was. However, I’m not really sure if the Full Metal Jacket torture for the last month was motivated by that. It may have been because now it seems we are back on normal terms again. However, is that true for all people?

 

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Females Are Attracted to Masculinity

They want men who are strong, providers, and trustworthy.  Also, they can’t stand boring men. It’s as simple as that!

They don’t like crybabies because they come across as being mental, child-like, or feminine.

It’s not too hard to achieve these goals for a man. Strong doesn’t have to be a power-lifter, and no man has to be totally trustworthy, etc.. There’s room for error but not major error.

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Looks Do Matter

They don’t mean everything, but come on, guys, you’re saying you’re not attracted to looks? Of course you are and so are the women. I don’t think it takes much to turn the problem around. You don’t need plastic surgery.

O.K., my woman thinks I look better with facial hair now that I’ve shaved it since January. O.K., I’ll grow it back then. That doesn’t hurt my pride or anything. It’s not a big deal!

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Don’t Cry During the Breakup

Don’t cry ever generally if you’re a man. Women simply don’t respect guys who cry. They might feel pity but the feeling that you’re weak overpowers the thought. Basically, you become a child, not a man to them, so they can’t go along with you seeing as they don’t think you’re strong enough to handle life’s situations.

Anyhow I did break down a few times during my near-breakup – because I had never had a near-breakup before and I didn’t know how to react to it. I just realized I was madly in love with the woman, but it’s was too late, sucka!

Crying is Cheap

That’s true and talk is also cheap. If you say stuff, you need to have credibility behind it. In other words, there has to be action showing you mean what you say. It’s like in the Bible where it says doers and not sayers of the law are justified.

 

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How Christianity Can Help Dating

There’s always the thing where people say daily prayer would make good things happen for the righteous. However, it’s more specific than that. Christianity can melt your heart so you’re not too hard-to-get for women. A self absorbed man is a turn-off to girls.

However, on the flip side, a genuine faith could provide that lack of boredom, that sense of mystery that would get women chasing you as all the dating experts want to happen.

Well, a Christian faith is all about being molded into a better man anyway, and it’s never a dull show.

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How to Keep From Being Boring

I might seem interesting on the net, but around real-life girls, I’ve simply always been nerdy and shy. There was exceptions like during high school and college where I was a party animal, but in that case, I actually became too wild, so I came across as crazy or mentally challenged.

Anyhow, a big problem is now that I’ve let go of my self-absorption which worked well on my girl for a long time – but eventually caused a near-break-up and month of masochistic torture – there’s the possibility of being too nice which really means too boring or too predictable.

How to Change That?

I really don’t know.  That will be a challenge with my new wife.  Anyway, as far as women besides my wife, being too nice has always been a major problem and why they aren’t chasing me.

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How My New Wife Tricked Me into Falling Madly In Love

She simply employed the same strategy that they tell guys to do to girls. Basically, she became super-hard to get, all-out rejecting me in favor of some guy who was probably not really interested in her. However, I believed this to be a serious threat.

Always the problem with her is I think deep down I was madly in love with her, but it took the masochistic situation I described in a recent article to actually make me realize it.

What was my problem?

Well, I was super-hard to get for her. I became self-absorbed during my time with her, which initially kept her on because women like guys hard-to-get. I wouldn’t move in with her. I neglected a baby we had, never coming around, and I caused a problem where she’s now on probation.

Other Problems

Refusing to change looks, lying, not being on time, not listening, cheating also I think, even though it was very light cheating with strippers.

Was this actually her goal?

I don’t really know, but it did the job!

What’s Our Relationship Now?

It seems awesome after a phone call I had after being away for a few days. Nonetheless, I fear I’m becoming too boring by spilling the love beans too much and telling too many inner feelings.

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Dating Advice on The Net

Well, not sure if it  mimics Robert Lindsay’s but the overall message is:

You get the woman to chase you, not the other way around.  You do this by not be boring.

It’s not about alpha bad-asses getting women but simply guys who aren’t boring.

How to be boring?

In short, don’t be desperate. Don’t be too available, don’t text/call too much, don’t make dorky attempts to show your feelings too early in the relationship.

This is much like Business 101

In business, you want the customer to chase you. Actually, I’ve known that for a long time. That’s why you target people already wanting what you have. For instance, you target online people searching for terms related to what you’re selling.

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Man of Steel Marriage Counseling Works Best

Nah, I just don’t buy it when a couple breaks apart – and one isn’t a doormat for the other.  It’s because it’s better to confront the problem directly.  For instance, there was this couple that broke up, a pastor and his wife, and they split ways totally (but got back together maybe a year later).  I’m sure there was anger like from a volcano, but with the two living separately, we don’t really know if the cheating man changed his ways.  Did he really get hurt – like someone who has to look it straight in the eyes?  I mean, people can repress anger/sadness when they’re away from it.  It’s way different when it’s right there.

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Bullying as a Forum of Creating Steel – Doesn’t Always Work

I don’t think it works on people who are hardened of heart and don’t want to change.  I mean, the person has to really want to change – in other for this mind game to work.

Anyhow, there are people saying bullying simply weeds out bad things.  Yeah, true, but only, as said, on people badly wanting change.

In fact, a lot of the times harassment only creates hardened crybabies.  Isn’t that the cultural left in many ways?  Think about it!

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Creating the Indestructible Man of Steel

Well, the heartbreak of the last month or so has a massive positive side.  Well, the thing is the “beloved” has allowed me to “stay on”.  However, the catch is that she’s treating me like the scum of the Earth.  So why stick around?  Well, I love the woman!

Anyway, I wouldn’t do it otherwise. Isn’t this just like in the Marines where the so desperately want to get out with honors?   They want that goal – but the instructors do everything they can to stop it – so only the people who just won’t quit get the prize. In other words, like on the movie Whiplash, “The real Charlie Parker wouldn’t give up.”

Anyway, why do people need to be smashed and recreated?  Well, they’re just too self-centered, too evil.   Anyhow, don’t think I’m not doing this without prayer – cause this is like  The Exorcist.

 

s

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Utility and Beauty May Work in Opposite Directions

A previous post about a nonfunctional stage of the female body which nevertheless seems to be peak beauty in one sense. This got me thinking. Perhaps the world is not supposed to be beautiful. Suppose most beautiful things are either accidents or with the females in the previous post, nonfunctional.

Which also got me thinking.  Maybe pure, natural, functional beauty loses some of its awesomeness because of the necessity of developing utility.

Usually when an object of any kind  starts to acquire utility, utility goes to the front of the line and beauty and appearance go to the back. Perhaps a bit of beauty is always sacrificed when making anything  functional, useful, or utilitarian. Probably things in this world are not supposed to be shockingly beautiful.

Sure, there are beautiful things in the world, but not that much of nature is pure beauty. The parts of nature that are pure beauty are rightly set aside as natural wonders in national parks and whatnot.

The world has to figure out how to function. Rocks, water, trees, grass, lichen, clouds, insects, birds, reptiles, and mammals are primarily concerned with functionality.

Yes, even clouds, rocks and water have to figure out how to work and do what they need to do.

Living things are mostly just concerned with survival, and what in the Hell does beauty have to do with survival? Nothing.

A plant’s objective is to live long enough to scatter its seed and create offspring.

An animal’s objective is to survive, not get killed by predators, find and acquire food, mate, rest, hide, raise offspring, etc. That’s the evolutionary trajectory. Where does beauty fit in? At the end of the line.

Although sometimes we get natural beauty like male peacocks who have evolved beauty in order to compete with other male  peacocks to attract mates where the most beautiful male wins. But this is one of the more unusual cases in our world where beauty actually serves some sort of a utilitarian and even evolutionary purpose.

Mostly beauty just happens by some coincidence of nature and natural beauty just sits there undergoing its natural processes, not trying to either get pretty or lose its looks. Instead it just sits there waiting for you to marvel at or take a picture of it. But it’s accidental. Nature didn’t evolve that waterfall to be so gorgeous that tourists would take pictures of it all day. Nature evolved the waterfall by accident when a stream or river ran right off a damned cliff. Redwoods are accidental. Wildflowers are beautiful accidents. And on and on.

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Why 16-19 Year Old Girls Have Some of the Most Awesome Yet Nonfunctional Bodies of all Women

I’m not much into younger teenage girls because although they look hot, at my age it’s just too much of a kid or a girl. They almost seem like children to me now. Sometimes I stop and talk to them but I think, “My God, she’s soooooo young!”

I’ve started noticing that I really like teenage girls when they get to ~17-18. Of course I l ike all women after that too. I’m turned on by maturity and “woman-ness”,  not immaturity and “child-ness.” Right there I can’t possibly be a pedophile or even a hebephile or ephebophile for that matter (although the last two are completely normal orientations) because all of those chronological preferences have a preference for youth and immaturity and a lack of “woman-ness.” “Woman-ness is a turnoff for these men, and “child-ness” is a turn-on.

Now that is finally starting to look like a woman and a 17 year old girl is shockingly sensible and many act like adult women. Also their bodies change a bit from a 16 year old. From ~17-19, females have these incredible bodies, but they are immature and non-adaptive.

What happens is that they get the curves of a woman, which we love of course, but their hips have not widened yet because the hip widening does not occur until 19-20. That’s why it’s better to wait until 19-20 to have that first kid when your hips finally widen enough to allow an easy birth.

But from  17-19, you see these girls who are very thin but they have these awesome, insane curves! It’s almost the hottest woman of all but it’s not an adaptive human – it’s an immature body because you just don’t see “thin with awesome curves” much in mature women.

If females stayed like that their whole lives they would have all sorts of problems delivering babies like a lot of teenage girls. Pregnancy below 19-20 in the teen years is associated with all sorts of negative outcomes because the body is not ready to birth a child. After 19-20,  the hips widen and the skinny with awesome curves thing  goes away. Mature women are either thin, in which case they don’t have a lot of curves, or curvaceous, in which case they need to put on some weight and become more full-bodied and run the risk of getting fat. You either get a thin woman or a curvy woman, one or the other. You don’t get both.

It is interesting that women’s hips, even after the widening, are still not really wide enough to deliver a baby easily. If you compare human female hips with our nearest ancestor apes’ female hips, the ape gals have much wider hips than our lasses do.

Why didn’t we evolved wider hips? It’s a damned good question.

It’s also said that a human baby’s head is almost too wide to be birthed out a vagina. If you have ever seen a human birth you are amazed at how that huge object comes out of that tiny little hole. I think the human head evolved to be larger to accommodate a rapidly growing brain that massively enlarged out head size. At the same time, women’s hips did not evolve enough to easily accommodate the huge head, but enough women survived that the thin hips did not go out.

You would think we would start evolving smaller heads to get through those thin hips easier, but that never happened. It is thought that the massively enlarging head that occurred in human evolution was such a beneficial thing for the species that it stuck around and was not selected out despite the fact that it caused all sorts of problems. In other words, the benefits outweighed the drawbacks.

This also implies that the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful things on Earth might be completely nonfunctional.

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At What Age Are Females Most Attractive?

Bumface: Have you read this paper about female attractiveness and reproductive value?

Basically the idea is that a small waist and a low BMI (which men find highly attractive) are signs of youth and nulliparity. The authors analyzed bodily measurements by age and found that the 15-19 age group scored the highest for these features.

Now, what I don’t like about this study is that it analyzed the ages in groups of 5 years instead of year by year. The 10-14 age group scored higher than 20-24, so the absolute peak could be anywhere between 12.5 and 17.5, maybe 14. This would match up with the age of peak female facial attractiveness and the age girls were typically married off in ancestral times.

This is the graph I mean.

And this is what it may look like if they analyzed the data year by year.

I’ve seen numerous other studies that showed that the women men found most attractive were ~21. That seems about right to me.

The other study is too young. 12-14 yr old girls are just not hot to me anymore. It’s too much of a young girl. I’m not really into them. How many adult men actually think 12-14 year old girls are among the hottest females out there? That’s so weird.

I don’t even look at the junior high girls when they are coming home from school. I see the high school girls walking home from school and they do look good but then I look closely at their faces and I’m turned off because it’s too much of a girl. I don’t think they are kids or children like our fucktard culture says, but at my age, when I get right up close to them, even 16 yr old girls seem insanely young. They seem like “kids.”

13 year old girls totally seem like kids and almost like children. There’s not much difference between them and an 8 year old behavior-wise. They act about the same.

I like some of the more mature 12 year old girls because they can be really cool when they try to act like adults.

Still though, I am looking down there at her, and to me, she’s a kid. 12 year old girls are a bit cute, but that is a girl and it’s even a little girl in a sense. Plus they are absolutely terrified of us men for some reason.How any adult man could have sex with such a creature without feeling like a complete pedophile is beyond me. I wouldn’t be able to do it even if it was legal. It would make me too uncomfortable.

Once they get to 13 and their sex drive hits full-blown, they’re not scared of us men anymore, possibly because they find us attractive (most 12 year old girls have zero sex drive). That’s a lot more appealing than a terrified 12 year old girl who looks at me suspiciously like I’m some kind of a monster. It feels creepy and makes me feel like a pedo when they look at me like that, and I definitely do not like to feel like a pedophile.

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Alt Left: 16 and 17 Year Olds Are Not Children or Kids!

Think  about it. No way in Hell is a  16 or 17 year old girl or boy a “child” or even a “kid.” Not really. Children and kids are those humans that run about acting like children from birth to age 12. The behavior of an 8 year old is so different from a 17 year old that they might as well be different species.

Indeed in the UK and Germany, where the Age of Consent is 15-16, they laugh at us and call us stupid puritan fools (which is exactly what we are in this bizarre and sexually mindfucked nation) for calling 16 and 17 year olds children. They call 16 and 17 year olds “young adults” or “little adults,” which is about what they are. If you spend a lot of time around them, what they resemble more than anything else is a very young and extremely immature adult. And adult that has just hatched out of the childhood egg and is fumbling its way around in the world awkwardly like a baby with its first steps.

Now granted in Germany and the UK, 16-17 year olds do have some  restrictions on them. They are seen as such immature adults that they are not allowed to buy or consume alcohol or go to bars or nightclubs where alcohol is served. Their immaturity renders them unable to handle alcohol reasonably.

16 and  17 year olds need to be kept out of the military. They’re much  too immature of adults  to be in  the military. They would be discipline problems and we don’t like the idea of minors being killed in battle.

There are certain other things you cannot do until the age of majority (18). Sign a contract? Take out a loan? Anyway these need to be kept in as these little adults are too immature to handle such things.

In addition, it is acknowledged that they still need protection.

Hence, in these countries, 16-17 year olds cannot be prostitutes or act in porn movies. I believe there are also restrictions on men with power over those girls not being allowed to have sex with them because it’s seen as an abuse of power over a very immature and naive adult who should not be taken advantage of.

Of course, when she hits 18, she’s not protected from power differentials anymore, except that many professions and workplaces have rules saying that those in power over others are not allowed to have sex with those they are in charge of.

So university professors are not allowed to have sex with students. Doctors and therapists and not allowed to have sex with their clients. Supervisors are not allowed to have sex with those under them. In the military, fraternization rules mean that officers cannot have sex with enlisted people.

In general you won’t go to jail for these power and trust violations, which is proper, although there are some very stupid laws now whereby high school teachers having sex with an adult high school student has committed a crime and can go to jail. Screw that. Fire them and pull their licenses. For God’s sake, we’ve already made half of life illegal. Can we please stop now?

Rather than going to jail, instead you will be fired or lose your license. A teacher will be fired and lose their license. A physician or therapist will have their license pulled. Professors and supervisors will simply be fired. I don’t know what happens in the military but there is some punishment.

If 16-17 year old girls were allowed in porn, very quickly the entire Net would be awash with 16 and 17 year old girls doing porn because “16 is the new 18” would be the motto, and the thrill, danger, and forbidden nature of it, in addition to the lure of youth, would drive millions of mostly men to watch these 16-17 year old girls doing all the crazy stuff a porn star does.

It would happen overnight because pornographers are the worst scumbags with just about zero morals. They are always pushing the envelope of the acceptable towards wilder, sicker, and more perverted stuff. I am starting to wonder how porn can even get more perverted and sick than it already is. Isn’t this about the limit? What’s not been done yet? Shit-eating? Child porn? Snuff films? You get to the point where all that’s left are things that are too awful or horrific to contemplate. We’ve maxxed out or sick, perverted sex in porn.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t  want to live in a world where the Net is flooded with 16-17 year old girls engaging in all the crazy sex acts of a porn stars. Forget it.

These restrictions are completely proper. All of these restrictions are completely proper. Sure 16 and 17 year olds are little adults but they are extremely immature adults, so immature that they need to be restricted in a few ways because they’re too immature to do certain things. We also need to protect them from power and trust abuses by those over them. We need to keep them out of prostitution because that’s just gross. We don’t want 16 year old prostitutes on the streets. And  we need to keep them out of porn because we don’t want to live in a world where 16 year old girls having sick, perverted sex on camera are a click away from  anyone who can get on the Net.

Yet still…

16-17 year olds aren’t kids! 16-17 year olds aren’t children! Quit calling them that.

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Alt Left: Sargon of Akkad Is a Reactionary

My comrades on the Alt Left told me that this guy was Alt Left. For years, my ideology had been compared by posters to Sargon of Akkad. I wasn’t sure if it were true enough. Supposedly a while back, he was more to the left on economics with the same conservative, anti-SJW cultural views, but by the time I checked him out, that was over. I had heard he was already making this change before then as people said he was turning Libertarian.

I went over to check him out and I was appalled at his commenters. I wasn’t sure about Sargon but all of his commenters were the usual “Don’t Tread on Me” reactionaries we are so familiar with here in the Benighted States. Ugh. Enough already. I deal with this ideology all day long every day. Can we get a rest from this crap, please?

My Alt Left comrade, Ryan England, told me that Sargon was actually somewhat left and was open to a safety net and national health care. Ok fine, why is he calling himself a Libertarian then? And as I studied him some more, it turned out that he was now openly calling himself a reactionary, natch. As is par for the boring old course, you know. So he came out of the closet. He’s probably been a hidden rightwinger all this time.

Sargon was conservative on culture and anti-SJW, so his economics, hazy at first, obviously went rightwing. As usual, the Law of Culture and Economics, that right and left on culture and economics must always align for no good reason at all, remains intact. Sargon thought he was a trailblazer. He’s just one more sucker, a clown, a sheep, following the crowd and doing what he’s told. Way to go, guy. Some iconoclast you are!

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Alt Left: The Insipid Bond between Culture and Economics Is As Tight As Ever

As usual, the bond between culture and economics that we were so desperate to break here with the Alt Left remains confirmed.

Once you develop rightwing cultural views, soon you develop rightwing economic views. I have seen so many formerly liberals talk about how they went conservative. It usually starts with understandable disgust with the Cultural Left Freakshow. So they move right on culture. You would think they would stop there, but of course being sheep, they don’t.

They buy the whole rightwing package, economics especially but then usually everything else. It’s so tiresome. You spent all that time on the Left working for progressive, pro-worker economics and then just because you got disgusted with Destin is Amazing the 11 year old drag queen, you went full Ayn Rand. Way to go. You’re really using your brain. You shithead.

The problem here is that people think there are two ideologies, and you are either with one or the other:

The Right.

The Left.

And that’s it.

Disgusted with transsexual bathhouses for all ages, the latest outrage in the Cultural Left Freakshow, so you head on over to the Right to see what they have for sale.

If you align with them, they hand you a list of 500 positions and order you to check all of them or they throw you over to the Left. You check only 499 out of 500, and they call you a Communist and throw you over to the Left. Confused, you head over the Left.

“What are you doing here?” the liberals ask

You say: “Well. I thought I was a conservative, but the conservatives said I’m a Communist, so maybe I am. In any case, here I am, good sirs, and how may I be of service to you?”

“Well, let’s see if you fit the qualifications,” the libs say. “We have some pretty strict qualifications, you know. We cancel people all the time for forgetting to cross one liberal t or dot one liberal i. Then their lives are ruined forever LOL.”

The liberals laugh sadistically but self-righteously, seeing themselves pure as Jesus in an all-White robe.

You hand them the list. “They said I’m conservative on 499 things but liberal on one thing, so that makes me a Communist,” you say, confused.

The liberals look at the list and start screaming that you need to be canceled for being a Nazi. They call all their liberal goon private investigators around and order them to the dox you. You can’t run away fast enough.

You’re halfway through life right now, and it’s never been worse.

Politically, you were lost. Stumbling along a road in a darkened wood, you were tired that night and had lost your way, politically and geographically. In the morning, up ahead, where the valley sloped into another hill of life to climb, rays of the sun’s hope appeared. Perhaps there was a way free of this politics of confusion and folly after all. Your fear seemed to settle a bit.

You looked back at the pass of politics and all the people foolishly stranded there who would never make it through the pass to the least bit of enlightenment. They were as lost as you were, but yours was temporary, and theirs was for life.

Then one of the vicious creatures of our partisan politics appeared, frightening you. A wolf? A puma? It moved towards you, demanding that you take a side, any side. Terror filled your futile heart and you were driven back into the silent sun to the east, returning to the depths of politics of confusion from which you came.

What lies ahead?

Is it infernal Hades? Is it Paradise? A Seer to vigilantly show you the way to a politics of reason and logic?

Ahead, two roads of American politics diverged in the yellow forest. One went to the Right and one went the Left. You peered down each one, wanting to take the one less trodden by some  superstitious impulse. But the roads were blocked, the well-worn one and the little-used one both. Up ahead you saw people partying down each road, Right and Left, singing, dancing, fucking like no tomorrow, secure in their political homes. You stood there, abandoned, with not a friend in the world, lonely, homeless again, until…until forever. This was your destiny.

Such is the plight of the politically homeless. This is the fate of the Alt Left. Everywhere I go, I never see one Alt Left person. Everyone is either Left or Right. If they’re Left, they’re all the way to the Left, every punctuation mark perfectly placed. If they’re on the Right, they bought the whole package, checked every box on the form.

Every time I try to talk to them, I tell them about my politics, and the response is always, “Ok, so you’re a Martian” or “Sorry, you do not compute.” That’s when it’s not a blast from the liberals: “You are not on the Left! You are a moderate conservative!” or “Guess what? We don’t want you on the Left.  Go over there to the Nazis where you belong!” Then they ban me from whatever leftwing sub, bulletin board, or website I was destined to get banned from that day. I get banned from around one leftwing site a day. And I’m a Leftist! What the Hell.

What’s odd is the conservatives always take me in. They’re quite pleasant people, despite their awful politics and on Culture, sadly, nowadays they are more right than wrong. Many conservatives are also very smart. I’m not sure why that is but I like it. They are shockingly open-minded. And they’re tolerant! They listen to my story and accept me. “Well, you are sort of one of us, so have a seat. Can I get you a drink of anything?”  They say,  “You know, we could make alliance with a Leftie like you. In fact, we should.”

This is so horrible. All my life we on the Left have been the nice and kind ones, the educated and erudite, the open-minded and open to new ideas, and  of course the tolerant. We were proud of these things because conservatives were the opposite: Hostile, mean, stupid and ignorant, closed-minded and subject to prejudicial thinking, closed to anything but their own narrow, backwards ideology, and of course utterly intolerant, their worst tendency of all.

Good God can you see what has happened. We liberals have turned into the conservatives of old, the ones we hated so much. We now embody many of the psychological attributes we hated about them, that made them such monsters that we considered the essence of conservatism.  And those backwards hillbilly redneck conservatives with a blade of grass between their teeth have in turn embraced all of the psychological attributes that we prided ourselves and that we thought of as the essence of liberalism.

We turned into our worst enemies. And our enemies turned into our glorious beknighted selves of yesteryear, stealing our pride and putting its crown on their head. I don’t think anything  makes me more angry than that we turned into the  hated conservatives of old and  they turned into the beloved liberals of old. It makes me sad, angry, frustrated, hopeless, and mostly just utterly baffled. It’s horrible. We turned into the monsters that  we hated so much. Congratulations my fellow libs.

The best things in life are mixtures. You hardly see a recipe with a single ingredient. Too much of a single ingredient ruins the stew.

Pure lines tend to die out. Hybrid vigor, mixing a bit of the opposite in, increases health and vigor.

The sages all say that variety is the spice of life. It’s even coded into Nature, where opposites attract to balance each other out as Nature demands. Imbalance wrecks ecosystems, but only for awhile, until Nature balances the scale once again.

The way of the Dao says only, “Moderation in all things.” In your views, your tea, your work, your play, your everything, and your nothing. Excess kills. Judiciousness keeps us on two legs.

Some day, perhaps, the cancer of American ultra-partisan politics, one of the most insipid trends in recent US history, will slither away, having done its damage. It will leave us with the wreckage of the destruction and idiocy that it brought. But I am not optimistic. Partisan thinking after all is just more Black and Whiting, and Black and Whiting is just what folks do.

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Alt Left: Black and White Thinking Is the Normal and Natural Way We Prefer to Think.

People complain about black and white thinking a lot. It’s listed as a pathology. It’s a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s a primitive defense, the defense of a small child, not even five yet. Sure, some people like BPD’s do it way too much, dividing the world into pure villains and pure heroes, each switching roles with the other in perfect chaos.

But really we all black and white. This is what I finally figured out. It’s a problem because black and white thinking is crap. It’s lousy thinking. Furthermore, it’s simply wrong. When you black and white, it’s worse than pulling a lever in Vegas. At least in Vegas you stand a chance. When you black and white, every answer you get is wrong. That’s a hell of a way to run a life, a culture, or a society. And yet we somehow muddle through anyway, as the British say.

I’m discouraged because I’m one of those grey area assholes everyone loves to despise, which is probably why I get banned from most every forum or website I comment on. Gradations are evil. Shades are criminal. Grey means dangerous. Relativism means you need to call a cop. There’s danger and incomprehension there, and all you can do is lash out and try to destroy every grey area you see. After all, grey areas are evil.

Incidentally this is how I want you commenters to think. My original idea for this site was try to stir you all up, to make all of you challenge every belief you have. I want to throw your beliefs at you, show you how they are lies, and see how you respond. This site is supposed to make you uncomfortable. I’m not writing it to make you happy. I’m writing it to piss you off. A lot of the stuff you believe is crap, no matter where your head is at. I’m as guilty as anyone. I think it’s stupid to walk around believing a bunch of lies, so I want to point out your false beliefs and throw them in your face and see what you do.

The original subtitle of this site was, “If I’m Not Making You Mad, I’m Not Doing My Job.” It didn’t mean I am a provocateur, though obviously that’s one of my hats. It means I’m trying to provoke you. I’m trying to make you look at every damned thing you believe and wonder whether it’s true or not. And ultimately, I want to challenge your views so brutally that you even change your mind now and then. If you do, you’re better than most.

That’s why I write about disturbing things on here. Disturbing things are part of life. They go on being part of life while we put our hands over our eyes and ears. That doesn’t make the upsetting things go away. It just blinds you to them. They carry on existing in the real world. Disturbing and upsetting  things are part of our world. There’s no harm in examining the world we live in. Looking in the dark where we fear to look is how we confront our fears.

We think we can run from our fears, but we can’t. You run and run and run for miles and you stop, exhausted, panting. You look behind you. There comes your fear with a huge grin on its face, saying, “I’m baaaack.” Sure you can run from your fears, for a bit. But every time you stop and turn around, there it is again. It’s a temporary fix, like dope. And like dope, it ultimately doesn’t work and never fixes the problem. All you do is escape and escape until escaping itself becomes your main problem and runs you into the ground. The opiate epidemic. And so many other things.

There’s little to nothing in the world not worthy of examination. One could make a case that the most disturbing and upsetting things are the things we should be focused on more than any others because they tend to have profound effects. The awful things continue because everyone plugs their ears and closes their eyes to the evils while Satan carries on and the bodies pile up. We didn’t fix anything. All we did is allow the atrocity exhibition to stay open another day. Congratulations on the perpetuation of evil.

Black and whiting is how they we it. It’s how we think. In what? In everything. Probably because it’s easier and brains are lazy and don’t like to work too much, always preferring the fastest route, preferring the neural freeways over the sodden and bumpy back roads.

It’s sad, really, because if you gain any wisdom at all in life, you figure out that most everything in the universe is continual. That is, it is part of a continuum. So the universe or the world could be seen as an endless series of continua of this, that, and whatever, nothing much pure and hard, everything a gradation, a shade, or a point of view. The world ultimately is more subjective than objective. If it were objective, most everything would not be an undefinable grey area, and everything is, ultimately.

So instead of the world existing as a series of solid facts like science insists, instead it exists more as an endless variety of points of view, of nuances, of measured judgements. We are getting into postmodern fuzziness here with its contempt for science, but those princes of vagueness and incoherence were onto something, that there is no truth.

Not that each of our truths is equally valid, although that makes sense at the individual level. Sure, every truth each individual has is true for them, as the deconstructionists say. But that’s a trivial notion.

A better way to work with postmodernism is to say there are a serious of “truths” or explanations for every set of facts, a variety of persons each having their own truths of course. But the way out of this tangled wood is that some of those facts make a lot more sense than the others, some of which are pure lies and psychological defenses, castles of sand smashed by the first tide of evidence. They’re not even truths. They’re just fortresses for the ego, which are always trivial, pointless, laughable, and worthless for the rest of us.That’s the problem with SJWism. SJWism says let’s listen to people’s defenses and the lies they made up to not face the hard truths about themselves, and let’s call these lies facts so we don’t hurt people’s feelings and egos. If it hurts an ego of a protected class, it’s not only a lie but it’s evil. Truth and falsehood are based on feelings. If it makes those good people feel bad, it’s false and you need to be destroyed for pointing out hate facts.

We look at the various “truth statements” given to explain any set up facts, often not even clearly described themselves (see the Rashomon effect) and, using the scientific method, weak and unsatisfying, yet all we have, we test each one out, hopefully in the clear light of emotionless logic and see how well it explains the facts.

Some truths work a lot better than others. Often not one truth is the best answer but instead several of the truths combine to give us the best answer. We stumble towards the best way out of the woods of uncertainty, and in many cases, the truth must be decided by each of us because there’s no consensus on the truth. As issues get more tangled up in logic-destroying emotion, consensus is increasingly unclear or openly false as truth is subject to the manipulations of politics, mores, and  social organization.

I think the notion that everything is a grey area leaves people cold. More than that, it’s just confusing, and the mind likes shortcuts and despises long Sunday drives. Your mind is like a New York sidewalk at rush hour.

If everything is a grey area, things are not solid anymore. Truths vanish. Good and evil fade from harsh colors to murky shades that are hard to make out.

This is confusing. And mostly, it causes anxiety because we don’t know the answer. We want to know what is right and wrong, up and down, this way or that. Saying everything is vague means we can’t be sure of anything. Of course that’s the case in life, but no one wants to believe it. Instead we need comfortable illusions and pretty lies or the fear sets in and fear starts to tremble.

Fear of what? Fear of not knowing the answer, having no way forward, no signposts or maps to guide the way, everything mysterious and uncertain and therefore scary. We want to be sure in life. Nothing is sure in life, but we can’t believe that or the fear sets in. The fear of uncertainty, of not knowing what is ahead, of being unable to predict the future or even make much sense out of the world leaves us with a terror that is ultimately what Sartre was getting it with his “existential angst.”

You end up stuck in a world where everything is a mystery, and that’s a scary place to be. You never know what’s lurking around that next corner. Ultimately, we don’t really want reality. We prefer our illusions and lies just to get us through the day. Nobody wants to “face reality” and probably hardly anybody does, which is why it’s dumb advice. We only need to choose the lies that work better than the others. Otherwise we might never get up out of bed.

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How to Brag without Making It Seem Like You Are Bragging

On the stupid Net, humblebragging is one of the worst sins. In the real world where things are actually real and not fake and make sense instead of being lies, humblebragging is the way to go.

When you do this, you are so humble about your achievements that you almost act like you are ashamed or embarrassed of them. Or you talk about your achievements, shrug, and discuss them inn the same tone as, “I just drank a glass of water,” like they were nothing. This enables you to brag and get away with it because most others won’t be offended by your behavior. There’s nothing wrong with humblebragging! It’s actually the way to do it.

Why brag in the first place? If you have achieved things that are exemplary or above the achievements of most people or if you were gifted with superior attributes, you have a right to talk about it. Especially your accomplishments. But a lot of us have achieved some pretty impressive stuff, so even discussing our accomplishments makes it seem like we are bragging.

That’s not fair! We have a right to discuss our legitimate accomplishments in life! But if you don’t want to get accused of bragging, humblebragging is a way to talk about superior attributes or accomplishments without seeming like you are bragging. People won’t feel angry, insulted, or humiliated when you discuss your positive attributes or achievements. Actually a lot of them will warm up to you and sympathize with your accomplishments, and you will even see a rise in their own self-esteem because they are reflecting yours and mirroring it.

This is a beautiful thing. You are sharing your high self-esteem with people. People will complement you without feeling insulted. They will sympathize with you. They will treat you like a hero but not in a groveling way. Instead they will get close to you and share your accomplishments with you. You will get a comradely admiration. If you do it right, you will trigger the same thing in them too, and then you will get “Yeah, we are a couple of winners, huh? You should be my wingman,” type thing.

When two people feel that they are both winners, things go smoothly, so there’s nothing wrong with thinking you’re a winner. The problem is when you think you’re a winner but other people are losers! The problem comes from your denigration of others, not your elevation of yourself, which is not mentally disordered, nor is it even abnormal!

Polar Bear: I consider myself handsome too.

We’re nothing but a bunch of hot guys here!

I actually believe you. Most men who are not goodlooking  don’t go around saying that they are.

That’s fine, but what do other people say? That’s how you know if you are handsome or not. Screw your own opinions. Those are subjective. It’s fine to phrase it that way too, but I end up saying it a lot so I always put it on other people. I say “apparently I was handsome,” or “supposedly I was handsome,” when talking about the past. “Apparently I was handsome. People would not stop talking about it.” With regard to my looks now, I say, “I think my looks are shot, but women keep telling me I’m handsome. Whatever!”

Because I say this a lot, when you put it on other people, it doesn’t sound so much like bragging. When you say, “supposedly I was handsome,” or “apparently I was handsome,” it makes it seem like you have no idea whether you were goodlooking or not, but maybe you were because other people kept saying so. When I say I think my looks are shot, yet women say I’m not, but I think they’re crazy, it hardly sounds like bragging.

I also add in that this doesn’t make me better than one person on Earth because I did nothing to deserve this. It was simply given to me as a gift by God or genes or whatever. This makes me seem less arrogant.

I’m not saying you guys should do this. I am just saying why I do it the way I do. I’m very sensitive to being told I am bragging or narcissistic. Of course I am narcissistic but not to pathological degrees.

Narcissism, after all, is another word for self-esteem. High narcissism means you have high self-esteem. It’s generally seen as a sign of good mental health. It’s only when you get too much of a good thing and go over into Narcissistic Personality Disorder pathology that it’s a problem. Narcissism is something that needs to be roped in and controlled in my case. I am always doing things to lower my self-esteem and make me seem less arrogant. I don’t like to be arrogant because it makes other people feel like shit, and then I feel horribly guilty.

I actually thought I was handsome at the same time everyone else said I was. For some years there, I was shocked and stunned when I looked in the mirror. I could not believe how goodlooking I was! It was almost like it wasn’t me because I hadn’t been that way my whole life. Of course that everyone else was saying it too added weight to my views.

I wish I had figured out earlier in life how important looks are to women. Looks are really the main factor in whether a woman goes for you or not.

Goodlooking men have life dicked. Women pretty much throw themselves in your lap. Things happen to you that people think, “No way. That never happens to any man!” Or they think, “That only happens in pornos!” Reading the incel blogs and learning how lousy life is for unattractive men, I’ve grown more sensitive to this. I should have been a lot more aggressive back then based on the confidence my looks should have given me.

But back then people kept saying that Looks didn’t matter that much to women. They mattered to men of course, but to women, not so much. Personality, Money, Status, Power, Fame, and Game were what really mattered. I believed this too. Little did I know we were believing a big fat lie.

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Alt Left: Communism/Socialism Isn’t the Cause of Latin America’s Problems; It’s the Solution

Transformer: Robert, I was arguing with this libertarian about the vicious cycle of inequality in Latin America and this was his response:

“Land monopoly is the core problem in Central America. Communism is the main reason the problem was not solved.”

I would like your response to his statement please. I personally disagree with his statement.

I think the reason the problem is not solved is because of a deeply poisonous rightwing reactionary elite as well as backward cultural traditions and attitudes that are obstacles to genuine land reform. Moreover, I think American foreign policy support for the rightwing oligarchy as well as the CIA aligning with these interest to overthrow democratic governments that try to correct the problem is a huge obstacle also.

Here.

I am not a supporter of Communism, and I think it is a far leftwing version of far rightwing libertarianism that you write about. Like you, I believe a free market economy with sensible regulations and a social safety net is the best solution. Pure capitalism and pure socialism are both two sides of the same coin.

My response: Sure, he’s wrong. That’s another one of their fake arguments. What the Hell is “land monopoly?” Your arguments of the cause of the problem are absolutely spot on perfect. That’s exactly the cause of all the mess right there in a small paragraph.

First of all, Communism barely exists in Latin America (only Cuba is Communist) so how in the Hell could it be the cause of all of the problems down there? This Libertarian is incoherent and dishonest, like all of them. He’s not only got the wrong cure, but like most rightwingers, he’s not even diagnosing the illness properly. All physicians know that without diagnosis there can be no treatment. As in medicine, so in political economy.

Communism especially of the Chinese variety would work very well down there. The Sandinistas, Evo Morales Movement Towards Socialism, Correa in Ecuador, the Worker’s Party (PT) government in Brazil, Father Aristide in Haiti, AMLO in Mexico, the FMLN government in El Salvador, the Kirchners in Argentina, and the priest who was running the Left government in Paraguay were all on the right track.

I also like very much what the Chavistas are doing in Venezuela. It’s not Communism at all. It’s something completely different, Socialism of the 21st Century. It also works very well when it’s not being sabotaged. Even with continuous coup-mongering and sabotage by the fascist opposition, the Chavistas had great success for many years.

Yes, it’s crashed now because the fascists and the US have really upped the ante. This time they think they can finally pull off the coup they have been trying to have for 18 years now. Yes, things are very bad in Venezuela now, and there are various reasons for that, but it’s not the model that is the problem. The model is the same as Chavez’ very successful one.

Not only that, but Maduro has gone much to the right of Chavez. He keeps caving in to the  fascists and putting in their proposals, but they keep trying  to overthrow him with a coup anyway. He’s being played. He needs to stop talking to the coupmongers. According to the insane law of cause and effect the right claims here, it must be the rightwing economic reforms Maduro has done that has crashed the economy. See how dumb it is to mess around with cause and effect. Just because to events parallel each other doesn’t mean they are causing each other.

The economy is crashing due to manipulation of the monetary system, some dumb mistakes by Maduro (not floating the currency), low oil prices, and lately US sanctions which are now nearly a blockade.

I also think the Cuban model has worked very well down there. The Sandinista model, to the right of both the Cuban and Venezuelan models, works extremely well. The instability recently was due to a violent coup attempt by the fascist opposition. Now they are under sanctions, so that might be hurting them too.

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Alt Left: Almost No One is “Questioning” Their Sexual Orientation

The Gay Politics branch of Identity Politics has a dirty little secret. Homosexuals are trying to increase their numbers. It makes sense. Hell, if were gay, I’d probably want to convert as many straight men as possible to bisexuality and this is exactly what the majority of gay men want to do. In my experience, this is why friendships between gay and straight men are not possible, even if you think it might be a good idea. They simply never stop trying to hit on you.

One of their lies is the “questioning” lie. There are gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer, and a score other micro-categories of deviates. And in this group they also put the “questioning.” These are people who are questioning whether they are gay or  bi or not.

I think Gay Politics wants to encourage as many straight men as possible to “question” their sexual orientation. No straight man will conclude he is gay, but quite a few might conclude that they are some type of bisexual or that they like the idea of sex with men. I’ve already met some men like this, and it seems to be getting more common all the time. Mostly they seem to be interested in oral sex. In other words, I am seeing more straight men who like to suck cocks. Whatever.

Men who are into anal sex tend to be pretty damn bi or simply gay. That’s a bridge too far for most predominantly straight men. It’s the ultimate in emasculation.

I don’t think anyone goes round and round about their sexual orientation. Any gay man will tell you that all gay men know they are gay. The ones that don’t know are simply in denial. Period.

I work in mental health. I give a scale to my clients, and they instantly pick a number. It’s a great scale, better than the Kinsey scale.

I met three males who were not sure if they were gay.

One was a 15 year old boy, a client. He had strong attraction to men and zero to women, though he was attracted to one girl who looked like a boy. But that doesn’t count. I told him he was absolutely gay, to quit worrying and feel good about it, it was biological and unchangeable, and to go out and live the greatest gay life he can.

One was a 33 year old man. He was simply in denial about being gay, and he was trying to be with women. I listened to him tell me about what turned him on, and I flat out told him he was gay, and he needed to accept it, be happy, and go out and live the greatest gay life ever. He was a 25-75 on my scale, but nevertheless he had no real attraction to women at all.

The 25-75 score is not very instructive. This man told me:

  • He never looked at woman. Not even one time.
  • He never fantasized about having sex with women. Not even once.
  • He never masturbated to fantasies of having sex with women. Never had either.

He had been closeted his whole life, so he had been hanging around with straight men all this time and pretending to be straight. But he told me hat when the other men talked about sex, he never joined in. Not even once. By the way, that’s a dead giveaway that a man is probably gay.

Another was a 35 year old man claiming to be bisexual. I figured him out real quick and told him he was hiding behind a bisexual label and in fact he was gay. For instance, his gay identity was progressing (this is how it works; it tends to grow greater with time), and now the only way he could have sex with his girlfriend was by looking at gay porn to get hard. Any man who has to do that is gay. Period.

He wanted to be a husband and father, and his family would disown him if they found out he was gay. That made me feel very sad.

He was with girlfriends but they were very angry about his “bisexuality”. I mean furious, crazy homophobic. This goes along with my experience.

Most straight women do not wish to date bisexual men, let alone gay men. I saw one forum with all young women, and 19 out of 20 said they would never date a bisexual man. And you can see on the Internet many bisexual men complaining that women refuse to go out with them on account of their orientation.

This may be changing somewhat in this newer generation of women, Millennials and Gen Z’ers. I have a 31 year old female friend who has a crush on a famous bisexual man at the moment. She’s dated other bisexual men, and she doesn’t mind at all.

I think women dating bisexual men is a health hazard, sorry. They’re much more likely than straight men to have all sorts of STD’s, and many bisexual men have transmitted HIV to the women in their lives. This is particularly the case in the Black community where most gay and bisexual men are closeted and the “down low” phenomenon is huge.

I flat out told him he was gay, not bi, his relationships with women will never work, and he needs to quit dating women (it’s bad for both him and the women). He needed to accept being gay and and be happy.

I also told him:

 “You know what? You being gay is the greatest thing in the whole world!”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because it’s you being you. You’re not trying to be something that you’re not. And you being you is the greatest thing in the whole world.”

You can see here what a horrific homophobe I am, huh? I swear my critics are morons.

I sent him to a site perfect for people like him called Empty Closets, and he seemed to start coming out a bit. I saw his first couple of posts there, and I felt very happy for him.

As I said, all these men who “can’t figure out if they are gay” are just in denial. Real simple. I don’t blame them, but closets are for clothes.

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Alt Left: The Amount of Pedophilia, Child Molesting, and Child Porn Trading on the Internet Is Almost Too Vast to Even Contemplate

That doesn’t even get to the teenage girl bullshit. Screw that. We need to do triage. De-emphasize the teenage girl bullshit and go after the actual predatory pedophiles, child molesters and child porn traders who are doing something vastly worse than men fucking Jailbaits (JB’s).

The Net is flooded with teenage girls (14-17) trying to have cybersex and trade pics with grown men. They have come to me many times trying to do that and send me pics. I’m not keeping those pics on my drive.

On Tumblr, once I somehow stumbled down a CP-ish rabbithole. A lot was profoundly disturbing and I ended up reporting a lot of it to Tumblr.

Most of it was “borderline content,” which is legal. If she has clothes on and she’s not having sex, it’s legal. So they dress these little girls up in lewd outfits and put them in dirtiest poses. These are called “clothed models.” The Blackcat scans come to mind. Only  25 million men all over the world downloaded that stuff. Why don’t you go get them, FBI, you petty pests? It should be simple for you feds to arrest 25 million people, right? Don’t you fed clowns ever think maybe there’s some times you should just give it up? Like 25 million people commit some harmless crime, so you don’t bother arresting even one of them? That’s what sane people do.

There were also a lot of comics, drawings, stories, and 3D posts. It’s legal because it’s fictional. They push the boundaries on all this stuff, and it is extremely disturbing.

There were also a lot of self-shot teenage girl JB photos and videos. I didn’t care about that, and for most you could make a case that she could be 18.

There was a video of a 13 year old girl masturbating on cam for some boys. She looked and sounded pretty damn young and she probably could not have been 18. It had 373,000 likes or comments. There were probably millions of people who viewed the video.

I watched it but I really didn’t like it. She was too much of a little girl. It seemed pedo and creeped me out. I thought about reporting it, saw the 373,000 likes and decided not to. See how dumb these laws are? Hey FBI, why don’t you go arrest those millions of men who watched that video. I mean you’d only have to arrest millions of men. Should be simple, right, you trivial fussbudgets.

The pages were often run by pedophiles but there seemed to be some pages run by non-pedophilic molesters.

There were countless “pedo Mom” posts – women being or wanting to be a pedo Mom and pedophile looking for pedo Moms. A pedo Mom has little kids, probably little girls, and for a good amount of money, she lets the pedophile have access to them, maybe by moving him in. Almost all men looking for such an arrangement would probably be true pedophiles. Non-pedophilic molesters are not as driven and would not go to these extreme ends.

There were endless posts by pedophiles giving handles on some very secure platform that is the new child pornography trading platform. Most people trading CP are probably pedophiles but some may be non-pedophilic molesters. I had some pretty normal seeming people send me CP unasked for on the Net before. Some were very goodlooking young men with hot girlfriends. And there they are, sending me some pic of a 9 year old girl with a man’s cock up her ass.

I was pic trading with this guy and I remember when that pic came in. As soon as it came in, I almost immediately flung backwards in my chair so hard I almost got whiplash. And I could not delete that thing from my screen fast enough. It was only up there a second or two. It also left me a bit traumatized afterwards.

It’s hard to describe my reaction to the pic. “Fucked up” and “wrong” is probably the best way to describe it. Like something that’s not supposed to be there. Ever seen those kid’s puzzles where they ask, “Find the objects that do not fit in this picture and you find things unicorns up in a trees and elephants hiding in some rock? That’s what that pic reminded me of.

I thought, “That’s not supposed to be there.” I guess I meant 9 year old girls with men’s cocks up their asses is something that is not supposed to exist in this world. It’s out of place. It belongs somewhere else, on some other planet or galaxy or universe. In this world we inhabit such things are so strange they are almost incomprehensible. We almost cannot even formulate the idea in our minds to imagine that such a thing might be here. It’s “that which cannot be comprehended and that which cannot even begin to be comprehended.” Like the God of the Jewish Kabbalists.

Many of these  pedophiles, child molesters and pic traders people were deep into methamphetamine use and Satanism, which were both strongly associated with CP and child molesting. Once again we find the association of child molesting and pedophilia with Satanism. But why?

I reported 40-50 CP violations because I know what’s legal and what isn’t, anything that looked under 13. There was some really fucked up stuff on there. I’m not even going to tell you what it was because it was so disturbing.

I left the pedo Mom stuff, CP hawkers, and teenage girls alone. You gotta triage in this world and I’m not a cop.

I was stunned at how many people were in on this. Probably no one is investigating the pedo Mom people or the men sharing CP. And that’s not even getting to the people downloading or viewing CP and the girls posting their cam videos. Everyone posing the hazy borderline stuff is obviously being left alone.

There are easily a million+ people in the US deep into CP or molesting kids. I came away thinking that police and FBI must be swamped by all of this CP/molesting. There’s no way that the cops could even begin to deal with it. They’d have to work 24-7 and quit everything else, and within a year, they would have 100,000’s of men behind bars.

It was very sobering. I don’t think anyone realizes how huge this problem is or that most of these people seem to be getting away with it.

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