I’ve just been informed that I’m a rapist. I’ve also been told I’ve been raping women my whole life. Well I admit I’m a bit befuddled. Never got accused of that but once. Never been arrested for it.
But no matter! Rape they said, and rape it was! Believe women! I know I sure do! If she said she got raped, she got raped. How do we know it was rape? Because she said it was.
Because words have no definitions now that Semantic Entropy has taken over, and we all get to make up our own meanings of every word! What’s wrong with you, you doubt the word of woman? Women never lie! Believe women! I believe women!
I did get accused of rape. Well, she was 14 years old. I usually leave it at that just to troll the world, but I’ll let you guys in on the punchline. Come on: I was 16.
But that’s rape too, I got told. Because we were both underage! Well, she lied, like women do a documented 46% of the time they cry rape. We were drunk, both of us. Off our asses. She accused me of rape afterwards to keep from being a slut, I guess. Can’t think of any other reason.
I just got told by a bunch of women that I raped that girl. Because, they said, if you ever got accused of rape, that means you raped someone. An accusal is a fact! Well, damn. Why bother with trials then? Waste of time.
Anyway I had no idea I’d been raping these ladies my whole life, but I don’t plan to stop doing it. Because it’s the only way I know how to have sex. Because it’s fun. Because at the end of the day, when all’s said and done, and they’re ready to rest, every woman wants to be ravished. Asking permission is for pussies. Just jump her, rip her clothes off, and pound her. They all want it like that anyway.