All right, so I have un-PC thoughts sometimes. So I laugh at a racist joke sometimes. I don’t feel very good, but sometimes you just gotta laugh, you know? I mean some of that shit is funny! It’s evil, sure, but it’s so funny I’m on the floor laughing my ass off.
Anyway, do we have thought crimes? Well, no. Not yet! But don’t worry. The SJW’s are working on it! Expect sometime in the forseeable future. Long-term project of theirs.
The Excellent, Responsible, Public Safety and Good Citizen Argument For Making Thought Crimes Illegal
I saw a copy of the secret SJW document about thought crimes. Actually my Alt Left agents broke into SJW headquarters, punched a couple of SJW’s in the face (Damn that felt good!) and then robbed them on some documents, including this doozy.
Here is a brief excerpt:
It’s for your own good, you know? Hey, if you just have innocent thoughts, what are you worried about? I mean only criminals, I mean thought criminals, oh same thing, have anything to worry about, right? You’re not a criminal, I mean thought criminal, are you?
Of course not, what do you think I am?
Look we have to protect the public. This is the age of terrorism. See that guy over there? You have no idea, but he may be planning a mass terror attack! That could kill over 100 people! And maybe you!
Oh noes! Who is that masked man? How do we stop that dastardly fellow? Help I’m gonna die! Help I don’t want to die help help!
We can’t unless we look into his thoughts.
Now see why we have to monitor people’s thoughts? It’s either your brain’s privacy or dead human beings, women and little children, babies! We have to kill little babies, be baby killers, in order to protect your right to free thoughts? I don’t think so pal.
You’re right. I’m no baby killer. I mean I’m no saint, but I’ve always drawn the line at killing babies. I mean adults, you gotta kill em every now and then, you know? Cuz some of them are just scums, ya know? Human refuse, a few of them. I mean line em up and shoot em! It’s him or you sometimes, right? You gotta defend yourself. You have a right to self-defense. Someone’s gonna die, and I say it’s going to be him! Killing in self defense is no crime.
Sure. Hey we all gotta survive man!
But I’ve always drawn the line at killing babies. That was always just a bridge too far for me. Maybe I’m just a big pussy, but I just never could stomach that stuff. I guess I’m a weak man…a pussy…a coward…a baby…I’m so pathetic…
So you’ll sign the thought crime petition right?
Oh sure, hell yeah. I ain’t no baby killer pal, oh Hell no, there I draw the line, man. No kids. No kid stuff. No babies. I ain’t goin there, man. A man’s got to have limits!
Of course! That means you’re a good person! If you’re a good person, you’ll never have to worry about being arrested for a thoughtcrime.
Sure, oh, of course. Hey, I ain’t no thought criminal, guy. I could never hurt an innocent person, even with my thoughts. I just don’t have it in me. I’m a good person dammit! I really am I swear!
You have a good day now, ok?