Polar Bear: I feel if you admit guilt or show vulnerability to them, they will latch on to you in agreement, “Yes, you should be ashamed,” and lick your tears. No uplifting or quarter given.”
A lot of people are like this. I’m living with one now. We have a lot of political arguments though we are both pretty much liberal/Left Democrats – he’s more of a Centrist Democrat though. It was the same thing with my father. He was a liberal Democrat and I was a leftwing/progressive/Leftist, but we fought about politics all the time. My Mom always shook her head and commented on how stupid it was:
But you both basically agree with each other!
As far as this person I am living with, I argue fairly. He doesn’t. He never gives in and never admits he’s wrong. You see, I admit that my side is wrong or bad sometimes. His side is always 100% good. The people against him are always 100% bad. But with me, I might say my side is 70% good. And I will often admit that my guys do bad things, and I will come right out and say so. Whenever I do that, he jumps all over me, and does this:
I feel if you admit guilt or show vulnerability to them, they will latch on to you in agreement, “Yes, you should be ashamed,” and lick your tears.
If you admit your side is even 1% wrong, you basically lost the argument because their side is 0% wrong!
And this person went to university and even got a Masters Degree. He criticizes black and white thinking and says most people don’t engage in critical thinking. But he uses black and white thinking all the time and doesn’t engage in critical thinking.
He has absolutely zero insight.
My father was the same way. Zero insight. My sister too. No insight and she’s always right and never wrong. My NPD brother is the same. No insight at all, though oddly enough, he’s the only one who might have some. He goes into these “NPD depressions” sometimes, and in those periods, he gets quite down on himself. And my other sibling is the same. My Mom does have some insight but not a tremendous amount. She sort of thinks she’s perfect.
And to this person, the US government is always right, 100% of the time. US foreign policy is always 100% right. He never criticizes it, and when he does, he does so in a very soft voice and acts like he’s ashamed.
My Mom is a liberal Democrat, and she is exactly the same. Supports US foreign policy 100%, and acts ashamed, quiet, or embarrassed when she opposes it.
Americans are so weird. What’s wrong with Americans and US foreign policy? My Dad was the same way. He was a very liberal Democrat, but he always supported US foreign policy. He did oppose the Vietnam War though, and he criticized the overthrow of Allende. But he was quiet about the Allende overthrow, like he was embarrassed or ashamed to feel that way (see above).
He swore by Time Magazine, a rightwing publication. But he and everyone else I know describe rightwing Time Magazine as centrist, saying it resembles liberal Republicans or conservative Democrats.
My father, a super-liberal Democrat, swore by rightwing Time Magazine and described it as Centrist! All of these people are only liberal on domestic policies, and even there, the Republicans always wrong because they’re 100% evil, and the Democrats are always, always right because they are 100% good.
If I ever agree with anything Republicans do (which I do sometimes because I am not an ideologue kook like everyone else), the person I’m living with asks, “So you’re going to vote for Trump now?” Like it’s not possible to absolutely despise Trump but actually agree on a few of his policies? Totally black and white thinking. If I agree with one thing Trump did, that means I’m going to vote for Trump! See how they think?