George Carlin: [George Carlin’s final joke] Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true: I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally, I lean toward unlimited rights – I feel, for instance, I have the right to do anything I please.
But if I do something you don’t like, I think you have the right to kill me. So where you gonna find a fairer f***ing deal than that? So the next time some asshole says to you, “I have a right to my opinion,” you say, “Oh yeah? Well, I have a right to my opinion, and my opinion is that you have no right to your opinion.” Then shoot the f*** and walk away!