The Legendary Lousy Black Employee

Polar Bear: Black coworkers have been a mix bag. They are gifted socially. I think a job like what Spinner did at the restaurant in Death to Smoochy would be perfect for a lot of them.

They have always shown up late, but managers look the other way. Productivity also tended to lack, but managers would ignore this too. PC management enables today’s Blacks. It’s like everybody fears their boss, and he fears a discrimination lawsuit. I knew someone that only hired Asians, and everything was ideal from then on.

I’ve worked at a number of different jobs, but I never ran into this legendary semi-lousy Black worker, with a few exceptions. I know that they exist though because I’ve heard just too many stories.

There was one alcoholic Black teacher at a junior high in Gardena. He showed movies every day. He was a very jolly fellow, and it was almost impossible to hate him or even dislike him for that matter. He was one of those people who are so happy and nice that they are for all intents and purposes “unhate-able.”

Speaking of which, I knew of an older White teacher, also an alcoholic, who kept her booze in thermos which she drank from all day in class. It was an open secret. She was a functional alcoholic though, as she was able to do her job, so I guess no one cared. There’s more of this crap around in the school system than you think.

Most of my experience with Black coworkers was in school-teaching, and the Black teachers and administrators are the cream of the crop. They most certainly do not show up late as Blacks are well known to do. They didn’t leave early either. And they definitely did their jobs too.

At some of the dead worst schools of all, like in Watts (yes, I’ve worked in Watts, and yes, it’s as bad as they say), the administrators sort of shuffled around in a make-work manner, but honestly there wasn’t much to do but hold the fort down and keep the Injuns from burning it to the ground at a place like that. They were very pleasant and easy-going.

Black administrators and teachers are quite intelligent. The teachers have to pass a difficult test to even teach in the schools, so they have to be. The administrators need advanced degrees.

Also, Black kids are a handful, so unless you are going to let them run amok, you have to be riding them horses pretty hard. You really can’t get away with screwing off. There will be the equivalent of literal classroom uprisings. Nothing will happen but the class will simply fall completely apart and the kids will run amok unsupervised and act pretty bad. Teaching a class full of Black kids is actually a Hell of a lot more work than teaching a class full of White kids.

I also worked at legal coding, and we had a number of Blacks there. There were the good kind, so to speak (which may be a good 50% of them, no idea), and we had zero problems with them at all. No coming in late, no leaving early, none of the usual BS.

What I have heard in a lot of cases is that Blacks (especially the more competent ones) are not usually awful employees, but more like somewhat lackadaisical employees who don’t have that Protestant work ethic that Whites do and whose performance is somewhat but not dramatically lower than their White counterparts.

The better ones tend to come in a bit late, take long lunches, have “meetings” that turn into conversations, and then leave just a bit early at the end. It’s more like they try to make a good time out of their job, whereas Whites take pride in being miserable at work because we are at core a masochistic race in some sense – or at least we WASP Protestants are. Blame the Puritans.

Perhaps work should be a bit more leisurely and good-timey, I have no idea. As my Mom told me once,

Well, out of an eight hour a day office job, you usually only work maybe five hours anyway. The rest of time you are on the Net or talking to your co-workers because there’s nothing to do.

I had a job as a linguist/cultural anthropologist once, and I used to tell the people at my work that every day I came into work was like “going on vacation.” For some reason, it seemed like they didn’t want to hear that, I guess because it implied laziness.

But the work was this insanely brainy linguistic and anthropological work that was like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle that never quite got solved. It literally cracked my brain in two but I love “brain workouts” either at work or leisure – that’s actually my idea a good time – a brain workout. Fun guy, huh? I’m the life of the party! Invite me to your next spelling bee!

My co-workers loved to do this stupid thing called “the 5 to 5 shuffle” in which they all conspired to leave five minutes early every day. I was that cog in that machine, and they were not happy about that at all. I actually wanted to come in and work on weekends! They couldn’t figure out if I was insane or an asshole or both. Actually I was probably both, and I probably still am. I assume it’s terminal.

There are some jobs where you are supposed to bust ass such as being a Starbucks server, but most work is not like that. And the more important the job, the less you are supposed to “bust ass.” The lowest paying jobs usually require you to work hardest of all, oddly enough.

I have worked as a magazine editor, proofreader, psychological counselor, freelance writer, linguist, cultural anthropologist, schoolteacher, author, book designer, paralegal, and blogger/forum administrator, just off the top of my head. Those are all what might be considered brain work or even professional work in some cases. Absolutely none of those jobs required me to bust ass in any way, shape, or form. And then I’ve been fired from factory jobs for being “too slow.”

3 thoughts on “The Legendary Lousy Black Employee”

  1. I always thought Southern Europeans had the right idea. Work less and live more. The movie Teacher, those ones were easy to like for me as well. The workplace isn’t the Blacks’ natural element in my experience. We White Americans spend too much of our lives working though. We’re better off sipping wine on the beach.

  2. I never saw a Black man in an office environment work in a focused manner. Their eyes are always drifting. They get bored very quickly and are not very well-organized. Was it my prejudice or are they actually too damned lazy?

    Black women in contrast are more diligent. They don’t cut corners as much the males.

    1. Yes, there might be a gender component to this. There are a lot of capable men of all races who wouldn’t thrive in an office environment.

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