To Know Thine Own Self Is the Rule

To know thine own is the rule – always know yourself. This is an ancient Greek aphorism, but it may be one of the most important lessons one ever learns about this journey called life. But how many of us ever get there?

SHI: I’d rather have you as a strutting narcissist than a wannabe Incel.

I’m still a strutting narcissist, no wait, someone with high self-esteem. I’m not a wannabe incel. Why would anyone want to be an incel? That would be a volcel anyway. I get the incels though, I get it. All of us men are incel at various times anyway or at least most of us are. Especially bachelor life is notoriously feast or famine.

I’ve been on both sides of this thing, from Alpha all the way down to Omega (which is about where I am nowadays lol), and I can see the whole sexual landscape from here. So it gives you a very nice perspective having seen the whole map and hiked all of the land yourself. Your understand the terrain a lot better.

SHI: Fuck them, you’re not what they are. Don’t have to internalize their problems as your own.

No, they are mostly correct, at least on those things. I have thought about it forever, and yep, they’ve got it down. But really I have known all these things about myself on some level or other for forever now. I know myself pretty well. It’s just that I hide the bad parts of me from myself most of the time because I don’t want to think about that stuff.

You don’t like that I went over the bad parts of me. Hey, that’s ok. But I embrace all of myself, pretty much, and those parts that I think are bad and I want to change I work on all the time. There are other supposedly bad parts of myself that I don’t feel like changing because they’re too much fun.

You are into total self-confidence and always thinking of yourself positively. You don’t want to think negative things about yourself because you think that messes up your Game. Actually it doesn’t if you integrate them well into your psyche and you get ok with your flaws.

I am beyond the age where I need false optimism and denial of my bad side anymore. I wish to know my whole self, good and bad, right and wrong. And I hope to accept it, well, most of it anyway. That way I am a whole person.

SHI: I can understand that you might be having a bit of bad luck phase. It happens to everyone but it’s never forever.

That’s not really true. I’m afraid that this is just the way it is at this age of life. It’s not a real great age, I have to tell you, folks. I mean I like myself just fine still, but apparently that view isn’t widely shared.

I don’t get along with women much at all these days. They pretty much treat me like crap. The young ones almost all do, and a lot of the older ones are not real nice either, or they’ve given up on men altogether. It’s all part of the age and sex dynamic. I guess men my age are simply not very well-liked by women. The best I could hope for would probably be a woman my age. Some of them still like me.

*****

The women who loved me also said many wonderful things about me. The critiques in the other post are some of the things that they told me about myself, some of which shocked me because I didn’t realize I was that way. All of the things I’ve listed were valid judgements at least at the time they were made. I left the BS judgements out.  There have always been some of those from different women.

At different times of my life, girlfriends have criticized other parts of me or more properly ways that I was behaving at that time. I was in a huge rut for a while there, and I am afraid they were correct. But I’ve moved beyond those dark moods of my early adulthood. My 20’s were wild, but they were also rocky. I didn’t list those critiques in my post because I’m not like that anymore, though unfortunately I was like that at the time.

6 thoughts on “To Know Thine Own Self Is the Rule”

  1. I am beyond the age where I need false optimism and denial of my bad side anymore. I wish to know my whole self, good and bad, right and wrong. And I hope to accept it, well, most of it anyway. That way I am a whole person.

    That’s some Sensei Miyagi stuff right there. Deep, man. I’ve got to think about it myself.

    1. If you are ready for it. Keep in mind that I am a lot older than you are. What you are doing is working very well for you – that’s why you do it. Nothing wrong with that but I want to do something different at this point in my life.

      1. Are you a cigarette smoker? Or an ex-smoker? I’m planning to quit this year finally. Not had one in two weeks so far. I used to ignore health advice. But I had bronchitis last year. Thankfully it got cured but I again relapsed with the smoking habit.

        I think it’s good advice to let this evil thing go. But I have so many happy memories, I can’t imagine being in a party and not lighting up at some point. This damn thing is addictive.

        As Maverick’s (Tom Cruise) senior officer in Top Gun said:

        “Son, Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash!”

        Switching back to normal mode is something I just can’t do anymore. But maybe I’ll settle for moderation. I’m thinking of becoming a Buddhist now to find the inner peace and balance (I think all sorts of things, though).

        That’s what we all need eventually, balance.

        1. Buddhism is out of this world, especially Zen. I can’t recommend it highly enough! Also meditation, unless you already do it. Mindfulness meditation is good too. I don’t know about mindfulness as a way to exist 24-7. I mean the past, present and space other than your immediate surroundings actually exist, you know?

          At age 35, I got a bit of a health scare. I had been frivolous with my health too, and at that age, I got dx’d with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. And only a couple of years prior, I was 45 pounds overweight (thank you, antidepressants!).

          Anyway, that shook me up and gave me a mortality shakeup. I changed my diet right away, just like that. Lost all that weight too, and kept it off. And started exercising a lot, though I’ve quit now. 35’s about the right age for a mortality wake-up call.

  2. So where the Hell is Jason, anyway? Jason! Get your White ass back over here. Have barely heard from you in four days. I’m getting used to a brain-dump from you every day or so.

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