Alt Left: Sometimes Your Girlfriend’s Critiques of You Will Be Flat Out Untrue

In a prior post, I said that the woman who loves you will always see right through you and figure you out completely, the good and the bad, the warts and dimples, the whole damned nine yards.

But sometimes she might just be full of it. And women who don’t know you well can definitely be completely full of it as far as their judgements of you go.

Women who you don’t know well don’t care enough about you to truly figure you out. They’d only do that if they loved you and they’d only do it partway if they liked you a lot. But most women you see frequently as acquaintances don’t particularly care about you very much. It’s not that they hate you or even necessarily dislike you. It’s more that people can only care deeply about so many people in their lives before their hearts fill up and explode. Few of us are Mother Theresa.

Sometimes your girlfriend will say things about you that are flat out false. At age 26, a girlfriend said:

You’ve hated women your whole life.

That was a flat out lie on her part, or perhaps she really believed that and she simply didn’t understand me or didn’t perceive me properly. Maybe she was mad at me. Maybe she hated me  – she who loves you most also hates you most. Who knows? I was pretty good to her too. I treated her better than she deserved to be treated.

That really threw me for a spin because it wasn’t true, at least in my mind it wasn’t. In my mind I always just flat out loved them. In fact, I often said that to myself, “I love women. I love women. I love women” in my head when I was around them. I don’t know why I loved them, but I just did.

So that criticism would only make sense if I hated women unconsciously, but that would come out in my dreams at least. And it would be pretty weird for a guy who walks around all the time thinking about how much he loves women to actually hate them unconsciously. The unconscious doesn’t work that way.

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