Alt Left: Most People Have Ambivalent Feelings Towards the Opposite Sex, or Towards Much of Anything Important for That Matter

Actually I have built up a lot more anger and even hatred towards women now later in life, although I still also love them very much as long as they behave themselves ha ha. So my feelings about women are ambivalent. I love them, I like them, I am indifferent to them, I feel annoyed and irritated by them, and yes, I hate them.

My feelings toward them are a mixture of all of these things, with an emphasis on the positive because that feels better and works better. Really humans are ambivalent and have mixed emotions towards all sorts of things.

Human nature is ambivalent. Sometimes you love a thing, sometimes you just like it, other times you could give a damn about it, other times it annoys you and bothers you and at yet other times you hate it so much you want to destroy it.

It’s not that all of those feelings are operating at the same time, but more that they are all down there, sitting there waiting to be activated. So you could love an object most of the time and at those times you would not be ambivalent towards it because you other feelings towards it would be suppressed. But then the object infuriates you and the hate you have towards it comes to the surface in full fury. Then you calm down because you’d rather love than hate and the Destructive Impulse goes back into hiding where it belongs.

Everybody lies all about this all the time. It’s a rare human who will admit to having ambivalent feelings towards much of anything. Mostly they just flat out deny it even though they probably have at least a bit of ambivalence towards that thing.

Ambivalence is just too weird of a feeling and causes too much cognitive dissonance, so we use defenses to deny that it is present most of the time. Ambivalence is confusing. Do we love that thing? Well, yeah. Do we hate it too? Well, sort of, yeah. Ok, so do we love it or do we hate it? Arggghhhhh! Who knows! You’re driving me crazy!

Most humans just don’t want to have painful conversations like that with themselves. Life’s hard enough as it is without walking on mental tightropes without a net. People want to be happy and the idea that we are ambivalent is not a very pleasant thought. It’s confusing and depressing.

So we say it’s not there. Except it is. In most all of us, most all of the time. It’s the truth, sorry. Believe it or don’t believe it, it’s the truth all the same.

Although I used to love women as a very young man in a pure, almost Platonic sense, I’m older and wiser now, or at least older and more battered, whichever it may be.

Actually I have built up a lot more anger and even hatred towards women now later in life, although I still also love them very much as long – as they behave themselves ha ha. So my feelings about women are ambivalent.

I love them, I like them, I am indifferent to them, I feel annoyed and irritated by them, and yes, I hate them. My feelings toward them are a mixture of all of these things or more properly move from one point to the other on the continuum, with an emphasis on the positive because that feels better and works better.

Really humans are ambivalent and have mixed emotions towards all sorts of things.

 

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