Jason: I can handle “guys being guys,” but that’s not how @Robert Lindsay and others probably see “guy behavior”. No, I don’t condone the behavior of the Karate Kid (the original movie) bullies!
Wait a minute! I don’t support grown men being out and out bullies! That behavior needs to stop by age 20 or so. As a grown man there are better ways of driving the point home than bullying – shunning, rejection, disapproval, etc.
I really dislike men who bully other men. I really don’t see the point, honestly. I’m not an asshole and I don’t get off on screaming and yelling at and threatening other men. I don’t like mean men very much. Sometimes I even cheer when they get murdered LOL.
I don’t know why you keep saying I support bullies. It’s true that in childhood some boys are such extreme outliers that they probably need some bullying to get them to act in a more prosocial direction. Furthermore, a lot of times it works. Anyway, boys will never accept boys who are serious outliers. They will torment them until the end of time. So you are tilting at windmills here and fighting a war you will never win.
The “bad boys” like SHI was are not always bad people, and most of them grow out of it as they get older. I don’t condone that behavior because they pick on a wide spectrum of boys beyond the designated victims. But I don’t know if you can stop that much either.
If you teach boys to toughen up and figure out why they are getting bullied, it helps. The bullies are picking on something about you. It might be healthy to identify what they are targeting in you and try to change it if you want to. That’s how you can make yourself a lot more bully-proof.
Quit being a nerd and turn into a cool guy LOL. I’m not mandating making these changes, but often if you figure out why they are attacking you and strive to change those things about you (provided you think they need changing) a lot of the bullies will fade away. Bullies don’t pick on popular people.
I’m not supporting bullying in high school, but extremely weird outliers like extreme, laughable nerds, well, they’re going to get it, sorry. Quit acting like such a damned freak, dammit! I mean assuming you can change that is.
Once you get past 20 or so, most men need to knock it off. Face it, bullying other males is childish behavior. That what little boys and teenage boys do. Grown men are not supposed to bully other men like shitty teenage delinquents. There’s not a lot of good you can say about adult men bullying other men.
I know society likes it – Forbes has an annual feature called “The 100 Meanest Bosses in Corporate America.” These are supposedly the best bosses in the country! So capitalism supports this pathology. I don’t see why it’s necessary for your boss to be a bullying, screaming, yelling, threatening psychopathic maniac.
One thought on “Male Bullying of Other Males in Childhood, Adolescence and Adulthood”
Kids admire daredevils, plain an simple. In middle school, I had a chicken image (the real source), but in high school, I gradually got more anti-authoritarian.
But some kids can pull off popularity without becoming a daredevil. That’s tough to do and teachers have to do that also. Teachers don’t have to be popular, but they can’t have a “wuss” image.