My “Social Skills”

First of all, I would like to point out that the word is typically used in very stupid ways. A person that “lacks skills” implies that they don’t know the rules. The truth is that you can know all the rules times ten and still screw up constantly. There’s more to it than just knowing the rules.

For one thing, a lot of people may seem weird, strange, odd, or awkward and no matter how hard they try, they can’t seem to stop acting this way . They may have an anxiety disorder, a mood disorder, or a personality disorder to the extent that they simply can’t even come across all that normally no matter how hard they try. For someone like this, knowing all the rules in the world is utterly useless.

This person doesn’t “lack social skills” are moronic clinicians insist. They have something wrong with their brains that causes an impairment in social functioning that they can’t change no matter how hard they try.

I’m actually quite good at social skills. I never would have had all this success with women and girls if I didn’t. Social retards don’t get laid. And they’re never players.

I know hundreds of thousands of the crazy rules, but I get frustrated and sometimes I violate the topic rules because it gets old talking about the weather all the time.

Also I am a rebellious asshole that likes to destroy things just for kicks, at least in my mind’s eye if not literally. The way I view society is that I basically hate it and want to fuck it up. I see society as a gigantic establishment that I want to walk into, totally destroy for no reason, and then walking out laughing my ass off. I don’t actually do such things but I often feel like doing the social equivalent of that.

I can’t bother with too much of this uptight BS with a mindset like that.

My mind goes a mile a minute, and I am always analyzing every aspect of every interaction to monitor it, see how it’s going, whether it needs to be adjusted, the trajectory of it, etc.

I respond to nonverbal communication during conversations, often with micromovements as I adjust my facial and body movements to their conversation.

I am very good at nonverbal communication and even picking up on subtle, cryptic remarks, although sometimes I have to wait 6-12 hours or even a day or two of thinking about mysterious nonverbal stuff and extremely cryptic remarks to try to put the puzzle together. Other times I have to run it by my Mom or one of my friends and try to figure what the Hell this weird cryptic person meant by this, that, or the other speech or behavior.

But I get it usually pretty quickly, but sometimes it can take me months to put together the whole plot especially if it’s cryptic, mysterious behavior that has been unfolding for months. I notice the pattern after a bit, and I try to put it together, but often I can’t. I can usually tell if some locale, person, or group is on a downhill trajectory or not though. I’ll notice that, but figuring what’s behind it all is often extremely difficult.

Database in My Head

I keep databases in my head of everyone I talk to or interact with at all which are updated and adjusted constantly. They deal with where where I am with this person; whether I can talk to them or not and if so, for how long and about what; what our past interactions have been like; what’s the trajectory of the relationship; what this person’s emotional feelings and attitudes are towards me, why they feel this way, and what I did, if anything, to make them feel this way; any possible cryptic feelings they might have for me; what I can say and do with this person and vice versa; any past social failures I made them, what I did wrong, whether they got over it, and what lessons I learned; whether a woman is interested in me or not; on and on.

To a lesser extent, I try to figure out where I am with guys, but guys are a lot more chill than women. Most guys are not a problem and I don’t need to database them too much.

Social Dangers of Gay Men

Gay men are much more difficult than straight men to deal with, and young gay men are often a complete nightmare, much worse than the worst young women. All the bitchiness of a woman at her worst and combine it with a  huge dose of testosterone to add an element of high male aggression to the bitchiness.

The aggressive bitchiness also makes them quite vindictive and dangerous. I got fired by a gay male boss once and it was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. Ever since then I am extremely wary about having any gay bosses at any job. If I was required to have a gay boss at a job, I might just quit. That one guy soured me on them for a lifetime.

Many gay men are notorious fussbudgets, rules/manners freaks, and what I would call picky little fussy bitches. Some get upset, annoyed, and bitchy on a very regular basis, almost as much as a typical woman. Some young gay men are fine, but a number of young gay men are walking landmines, much more dangerous than a lot of young women.

Older gay men are often pretty chill although I haven’t dealt with a whole lot of them. They usually calm down a lot as they age like most humans do.

5 thoughts on “My “Social Skills””

  1. Women get bitchy cause perhaps you’re in a personal relationship with them, and you’ve betrayed them.

    This is way different from some man who’s a little bitch whom you don’t owe anything to, but yet he gives you an attitude. That sort of male – I would not be in a friendship with him. If he feels I don’t meet his hopes and dreams, then tough shit. I’m not going to be “shamed” with an attitude from him.

    The exception could be if the male had truly done something horrible to another male, like molested them or something.

    1. I don’t know. I had a therapist once who acted nonplussed when I talked about women I knew getting bitched out at times. I thought there was something wrong with me that they were doing that. He shrugged and said, “All women are like that. All women get a little bitchy sometimes. It’s normal.”

      I thought about it and he’s right. All women act this way sometimes. Quit freaking out over it and blaming yourself and quit pining for he female unicorn who doesn’t act this way. There’s no such thing. Just accept that all women get this way sometimes, that it’s probably not your fault she’s bitching out and that no matter what you do or how you change your behavior, she is still going to bitch out at times.

      There is literally no way to have a woman who does not bitch you out sometimes. There’s no way to stop the behavior. Just accept it, quit blaming yourself, and move on.

  2. Hey Robert, we met on Quora. I think I wanted a higher IQ person’s opinion on the possibility of succeeding in college or whatever. You said try this but don’t try that kinda advice.

    Anyway, I’m finding the real difficulty isn’t book reading and knowledge testing – it’s socializing. I’m basically an undiagnosed neurotic nut case. I don’t want to be unstable but instead I want to get along smoothly with others.

    So I started reaching out to very cool capable people for tips on getting better with social stuff, which to me means grasping the verbal and non-verbal rules or whatever it is. Not sure how to find stuff about that on the Internet. I mean like heavily NT-oriented type instruction. The kind for ASD folks.

    Can someone please help me. Thanks in advance.

    Later

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