Being a Criminal: The Ultimate Rush

Haha! I loved being a criminal! Of victimless crimes anyway.  I don’t think I would have wanted to hurt people. Well, definitely not innocent people. I’ll hurt my enemies any day of the work. After all, they deserve it, right? Wink.

I can’t describe the rush of being an outlaw. It’s almost beyond anything I have ever experienced. The outlaw life was something special. I remember one time at 5 AM I was pulling out of a place where I had just committed a crime of property destruction.

I used a slingshot to blow out the glass door of a sleazy business that had ripped off my friends. The door collapsed like a shower curtain with one damned slingshot pellet. That was an amazing sight right there. I didn’t expect that tiny pellet to take out the whole damned door. Those things work!

As I was driving away, I was so energized with excitement and terror that I was literally bouncing up and down in my car seat, and it was getting pretty damned hard to drive. Even at 5 AM, you always have to look out for cops. There are always people around too, no matter what ungodly our of the night it is. I pulled out. There was a 7-11 store catty corner with a bit of activity. I turned right and drove to the light. No cops! I got away with it again! A rush like no other!

I don’t recommend that any of you go out and commit any crimes that might give you significant jail time, even if they are pretty much victimless crimes or attacks on enemy ratfucks who have it coming. Jail’s definitely not a fun place. But I got away with being a criminal for 14 years. In fact, the very notion that you are getting away with it is a rush on a whole different level.

The longer you get away with your crimes, the more you start to see cops as idiots. I used to drive by small gatherings of cops in the street with a pound of pot in my backseat. When you commit a crime right in front of cops and you completely get away with it, it’s hard to describe how great that feels. It’s great to make it through a small search with contraband that’s not discovered in the search.

We did smuggle a small amount of marijuana into the US from Mexico though. We had taken it in hours earlier and now we were bringing it out as we were leaving. We were both flying out of our minds on LSD when we went through that terrifying customs. Come to think of it, that was a real rush right there.

For some reason, the customs officer looked at us like we were pure scum (Could he tell we were high?), but he waved us on anyway. In a situation like this, I try to put your head in this perfect innocent place. I put the thought in my mind, “I am completely innocent! I don’t have any contraband at all!”I repeat it in my mind until I actually start believing the lie is true.

I suspect that going through a search or check with a guilty mind and trying to hide your guilt might not work. They might somehow suspect that something is wrong. Those guys can read people like books.

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3 thoughts on “Being a Criminal: The Ultimate Rush”

  1. PROPERTY DESTRUCTION

    Property destruction is my favorite crime. I won’t have a second thought about setting some rich dude’s Porsche on fire. I mean they had it coming for being born rich.

    Their fathers are douchebags and so were their fathers before them. The entire lineage is generally rotten to the core, man. So, I’d like the opportunity and the perfect timing to harm one of their favorite automobiles. Of course they will get insurance money and just replace it, but it’s still causing them a lot of trouble, so why not?

    The only thing stopping me: I am afraid of going to prison. I mean I am a lousy arsonist, and I might leave behind some evidence. But you never know. You gotta plan it better.

    —-

    SMUGGLING

    Yea, I’d be OK with smuggling contraband. I have smuggled pirated CD/DVDs and bootleg liquor. In one of the Western Indian states, alcohol is completely illegal similar to Prohibition era United States, so bootleggers control the supply chain. If I have to travel there, I always carry a bottle or two on me but not to sell to anyone. It’s for my own consumption.

    —–

    SHOPLIFTING

    I wouldn’t do it. Imagine getting caught for shoplifting and doing 2 years time for that. It’s such a stupid crime. I murder someone, I go to jail. Yes, I understand that. But going to jail for shoplifting is just stupid. Not worth any risk. That being said, I have shoplifted before and didn’t get caught. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk anymore with all the CCTV cameras everywhere.

    I think we’re not even in the category of petty criminals. We’ll never fit in with the hardcore types. You have to kill all forms of moral conscience to even start there.

  2. But I got away with being a criminal for 14 years. In fact, the very notion that you are getting away with it is a rush on a whole different level.

    The longer you get away with your crimes, the more you start to see cops as idiots. I used to drive by small gatherings of cops in the street with a pound of pot in my backseat. When you commit a crime right in front of cops and you completely get away with it, it’s hard to describe how great that feels. It’s great to make it through a small search with contraband that’s not discovered in the search.

    I understand that adrenaline rush.

    Here’s another crime I am considering. I want to deface the Wikipedia pages of some very famous personalities — politicians, movie actors, etc.. But then Wikipedia is just going to ban my ass forever and give up my IP address to law enforcement. Also, they always ban your entire IP address range and can also ban proxies and VPN’s.

    Any ideas bros on how to get away with defacing Wikipedia?

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