Even players with no Cluster B issues tend to have high narcissism and somewhat increased psychopathy. Players are obviously dishonest and manipulative – you can’t be a player if you are not. Seduction is a scam. That’s the dirty little secret of seduction. It’s a scam, a lie, a fraud, a con, a trick. The seducer’s job is to lie, trick, scam and con women into bed. That’s how he does it. Without his manipulative skills and dishonesty, he’s not much of a seducer. A tradesman is nothing without his skills or toolbox. And this manipulation and dishonesty is what we call “charm.” Charming men are often at least somewhat dishonest and manipulative because charm itself is a bit of a scam or a trick. The charmer is trying to get you to like him, but he’s not very honest about it. Instead he is trying to trick or fool you into liking him. He’s tricking you because he doesn’t really care tremendously about you. He does care and he does like you (probably) but you are just another of the multitude of friends to him, and the charmer wants to make friends with the whole world. Every human out there is a friend or potential friend. And if you are friends with the world and have 8 million friends, you can’t possibly care about all of them, so you have to cut your losses. The thing is though that the fact that the charmer is sort of lying doesn’t really matter. I could care less if people like me or not, really. If you hate me and just pretend to like me, it’s all good with me. I don’t want to hear about how you really hate me though because then I might get made. But what I don’t know won’t hurt me. I think it is hilarious that everyone goes around wondering who their true, real friends are and who’s just pretending to be their friend. Much agony, worry, and anxiety flows from these issues and to me they are not worth worrying about. If someone really is your great and good and true real friend (often from childhood) you are going to know it. You are going to feel it in your bones. There won’t be anything to fret about. Even your true friends can desert you but you have act pretty bad or screw up pretty bad for them to do that. Personally I would drive an hour or two to rescue a friend or even pick up a friend from jail. He could probably even stay here but no doubt just for a few days. But if I am your real friend, you can count on me in a crisis. A lot of the people you think are your best friends will not be there for you in a crisis, so to me they are not real best friends. Your real bestie is always there for you or at least on the way. Your best friend sacrifices for you – that’s what my driving an hour or two to rescue you or pick you up at jail is – it’s a sacrifice on my part, and it’s one that a lot of people will hardly make for anyone.
The problem is that charmers and seducers make the world go round and you can have a lot of fun with both of them.
A lot of the people we think of as very friendly, warm, outgoing, extroverted, loves everyone, etc., well, a lot of these folks are just charmers. They don’t really deeply like and care about all those people. They can’t. They’ll blow out a month’s supply of empathy in a day.
Though my only fun is with charmers because I never really have to deal with actual female seducers who are equivalent to a male player. I wonder if they exist. And if some women wants to use me for sex for a one night stand and then bail on me, that’s all right too. I have acquiesed to that for a number of women. Dropped them off at 2 AM and there was no phone number waiting for me. By the way if she wants to see you again, she will always ask for your number. If she doesn’t then she doesn’t want to see you again. This has happened quite a few times for me and for a long time I thought I was a failure as a human being because women were always leaving me. But the more I thought about it, most of them never had a very good reason for leaving me. A few did. I have been dumped for not making enough money, for being weird, for being a bit nerdy, for being too nervous, for being a male whore (I have been dumped for having dated and had sex with too many women, believe it or not), for being insecure, for my politics, for lying or catching me in a lie, and for reasons I never could figure out. In a lot of cases I had the most awesome first date in the world but then I didn’t get a second one. This never made sense to me because I never got anything but good vibes from these women. Finally I figured out that a lot of women were just using me for sex the same way that men pump and dump women. They often thought I was a player and a lot of women just to sample a player a bit and then dump him because players are crappy boyfriends. Crappy boyfriends but fun in a pinch. And a lot of women have said that they thought I was just using them for sex and they didn’t really love me. I actually did care about most of them, often a lot, but I’m not faithful so it seems like I’m using them. Also I rush the sex really fast. I had a tendency to go visit a long distance girlfriend, have sex with her, come back in five months for more, etc. She would be (my chick in Frisco or my chick on the East Coast or my chick in some other country) They only put up with being any port in a storm for a while before they felt used and dumped me. Long distance love affairs don’t work.
The one thing I have been dumped for more than anything else is cheating. I would have a girlfriend and then try to date as many women as I could on the side. I usually an arrangement or open relationship with the girlfriend. I would tell the new women like a total idiot and they often flipped and dumped me. “You already have a girlfriend! Fuck you asshole!” After a while experienced guys would smile and say, “Don’t tell them,” but at the time I was trying to be an honest player which is utterly stupid. If you can’t be a serious liar and a bit of a scumbag, just forget being a player. Go get a girlfriend or get married or whatever. I’m not saying this is inferior – monogamy is perfectly acceptable. I also felt horrible guilt for a long time for women being a cheating rat, and I used to think of myself as a guilty playboy. Finally I realized that that is retarded too. Now I think that to be a player you have to be a skilled liar. You have to shut down your conscience in effect. You can’t be going around making guilty confessions about other women. It’s retarded. You have to be somewhat manipulative, sociopathic, and uncaring. If you can’t do that, just forego the player thing. You will just fail and be miserable and people will also think you’re an idiot. No one respects a cheater more because he’s always making guilty confessions about other women to the women he is cheating on. And a lot of people will just think he’s a moron. If you are going to act, feel good about it and don’t go around confessing to all your bad deeds.
Narcissism is just self-esteem so high narcissism means high self-esteem. It’s not unhealthy.
But as narcissism gets higher it gets into pathological levels of all sorts of things.
With excessively high self-esteem we see reduced empathy for others, increased psychopathy, outright lack of interest in others, rudeness, increasing selfishness and manipulativeness, lowered moral codes and values, criminal or quasi-criminal behavior, contemptuousness and feelings of superiority and arrogance towards others, sadism and laughing at others’ plight, and just general all-around assholiness and excessive aggression or dickiness.