Simple Formula for Becoming a Great Writer, Especially a Poet: Add One Part Homosexuality to One Part Suicide

I posted this on Facebook and I was banned not once, but twice, for this post! After the first time I figured they would just delete it because that is what they usually do when they give you a few days ban. Well, they left it up. Then they banned me for it again. I mean come on. How many times do you have to ban me for one post. Ever heard of double jeopardy?

Mix well, stir, cook on high until boiling then reduce to low heat and cover for 25 minutes. Then take it off the heat and let it sit for five minutes. Now you’re gay as Hell and soon enough you will yourself for no reason, but so what! You’re on your way to becoming a good writer!

I have recently been reading lots of great writers of the past, oh, 100-150 years or so. A lot of that stuff is free. I will grab an old classic and read like one page, and then go grab another one and read like one page, on and on. Anyway it’s still pretty awesome!

And then I read up on all these great writers and books. And reading a lot of poetry/lit prose too from poetry blogs, all classic stuff, but that’s more a paragraph at a time than a page.

And like half these lit blogs are written by homosexuals or trannies or whatevers. And that’s starting to annoy me. Why? Not because they’re gay but because they won’t shut up about it. Cuz I want to read about poets, not about your dykery or wanting to turn into a guy!

Why I do this? Because I’m bored.

Well anyway, researching all these great writers and poets, I keep coming across homosexual homosexual bisexual bisexual or whatever. Like almost no one is straight. Like being straight is almost illegal ILLEGAL or something. And the women writers were way gayer than the men.

So I am thinking, “Exactly how many great poets were not some species of gay?!”

And like half of the poets were suicides. And I’m also thinking, “How many poets did not commit suicide?” Cuz it seems like they all take themselves out at some point.

So I am thinking, “Ok there’s a connection. Great writers/poets are basically freaks, an insane number of them are some gay species, and it’s almost a requirement to off yourself.”

And then I’m thinking, “Oh well, if I have to put up with faggotry and dykery and mass suicides to get my great prose, ok, that’s a deal that I will take.”

Cuz at the end of the day all that matters is that these great writers wrote great stuff. Everything else is meaningless.

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2 thoughts on “Simple Formula for Becoming a Great Writer, Especially a Poet: Add One Part Homosexuality to One Part Suicide”

  1. Don’t care much for poetry – unless it’s for lyrics. I mean, the lyrics now suck ass. Well, where are the faggots? We need them!

    1. Thing is, gays don’t write song lyrics. Songwriters are not particularly gay and many of them are “hyper-heterosexual.”

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