Paybacks Are a Bitch

I told you I’m nuts. Just be cool to me and everything will be fine. Screw me over and you may well regret it. Now you are dealing with a maniac.

Some people wronged me badly and I fought back so hard that they basically surrendered and told people that they never wanted to see me again. I forced one man to move! He lived across the street from me and was my mechanic.

He got mad partway through a job when my other friends said they would finish it for free while he charged money. Well, he came over to my house in the middle of the night and switched every wire that could be switched and then turned on the engine. Well, that blows up the engine. I towed the car to my mechanic, and he told me exactly what had happened.

A few days later, I went over to the guy’s house in the middle of the day with a baseball bat and smashed his door in!  Then I calmly walked home. The cops got called but my neighbor the cop convinced them to not take me. Supposedly they wanted to arrest me.

The cops called me up and were a bit sympathetic to my predicament: “Getting your pound of flesh out, eh” they laughed. Then they said, “Hey look, we don’t really like to get involved in this stuff, these feuds between individuals where one person has seriously wronged another. They think it’s a personal matter between a couple of citizens and it has no effect on keeping the streets safe for innocents, which is their job.

But then their tone changed and they said that they didn’t like vigilantism. And then they acted like smashing the door in was seriously psycho behavior, and I was maybe kind of a dangerous nut. They just thought it was a crazy thing to do.

We all agreed I would pay to fix the door. It only ended up being $10. Well, I was still mad so I terrorized that guy and launched guerrilla war against him with the help of my friends, who saw themselves with me as sort of a neighborhood gang with a “We own this neighborhood!” attitude. I could go into all the stuff I did but I won’t.

Mostly I declared war on his house and also I waged phone terrorism on him. We made a bomb out fireworks and a softball (I could show you how to do it), and threw it on his lawn in the middle of the night. It’s more properly a “firebomb” as all it does is detonate, but there’s no shrapnel.

That sounds bad but all it does is burn a hole in the lawn.

Eventually his parents forced him to move and I ended the war. But that’s an example of the type of stuff I do if you really screw me over.

My friends and I were drug dealers (pot dealers), and this guy was a cokehead who got ounces of pot fronted to him by us, sold them for cocaine money and shot it up his arm, then came back and put out the word that he wasn’t going to pay any of us back. So he was going around ripping off dealers.

We had made a similar bomb earlier to the one above earlier, and attached it to the car of on his windshield by his wiper, lit the fuse we made on it, and ran back a ways to watch. It was a huge explosion and it blew up his front windshield.

It’s a safe bomb though because it’s just a “firebomb” as in there’s no shrapnel. It’s like a massive firecracker or M-80. All it does is detonate and shatter the windshield while leaving it intact, and the glass doesn’t fly everywhere. It puts a very tiny hole in the windshield and blows a tiny amount of glass in the car, but it goes off within one minute after lighting it, and you do it in the middle of the night, and no one will be in the car, so no one gets hurt.

We also went out to this guy’s car one night, slashed the tires on his car with a knife, and ran away.

And we engaged in some phone terrorism against him too.

Later we got together with a bunch of other guys and someone lifted up his car and turned it upside down! There were some different people involved this time, as he ripped off lots of people, not just my friends and me.

And this is what happens if you rip off dealers on the Street. Don’t do it!