Responding to parts of the comment referenced on this post:
It’s mostly people who are well off that prefer skinny women and effeminate men.
I would call those men soft or feminine but not effeminate because so few straight men are effeminate like a gay man is. While 70% of gay men are effeminate (act like a woman), only 3% of straight men are.
Most straight men who people call effeminate are not effeminate at all. They might be soft-spoken, quiet, shy, unaggressive, passive, or wimpy and like to read, write, and cook, have good taste in clothes, and spend time on their personal appearance. However none of those activities are for women only.
On a gay forum, one gay men pointed that effeminate straight men don’t exist (I think they do but they are rare), while soft or feminine men are much more common. He also pointed that these feminine men often have a “soft masculinity” about them.
I thought this was absolutely brilliant. No straight man or woman would ever recognize that soft masculinity. It takes a gay man to see it.
The most intelligent things I have heard about subjects like this, including masculinity, were from gay men.
Straight men and women have such poor understanding of masculinity because they simply have too much riding on the question, so they can’t be objective. They’re both right in the middle of the masculinity game, so they can’t see straight. Gay men are not part of this game, and this enables them to sit back at a distance and be completely objective about masculinity, effeminacy, and other related topic.
Straight men don’t know what masculinity is because they tend to have an exaggerated view of masculinity. But straight men are still far better than women. Most masculine men accept and respect me on a certain level on the basis that I “walk the walk and talk the talk.” That’s really all you have to do to get judged masculine in the world of men.
Women are far worse than men when it comes to judging masculinity. They have an absolutely insane idea of what masculinity is. Women think anything less than hypermasculinity is pussy.
Whereas 90% of masculine men accept me on a basic level, at the same time any women in my life would be remarking that I’m pussy or gay. If you want to know who to blame of the toxic masculinity crisis, blame women! Toxic masculinity is 100% the fault of women in my opinion.
Also interesting – ugly or plain women act like they are too good for me and highly attractive women act interested in me.
I get the exact same thing. It’s mostly only attractive or hot women who act interested in me when I am out and about – on dating sites, it’s another matter. When I am out in public, women who are homely or have average looks either ignore me, act hostile to me, or act like they are not interested in me at all. I really don’t understand this.