Tulio: How good looking does a guy have to be to get glances and flirtatious smiles from women while just walking about in public? I don’t think I’m a bad looking guy, especially for my age. I’m certainly not under average. But honestly, I can walk in a dense urban area and not get even one IOI (indicator of interest) from a woman the entire day.
I was just thinking back a few years ago when I was walking around downtown Chicago. I got one from a woman that I think was clear. And a 2nd one that may have been where I kept making eye contact multiple times with this girl at the Willis Tower observation deck. But even two in one day is out of the ordinary for me.
How attractive does a man have to be to get glances and flirtatious smiles from women just walking about in public?
I am not sure. However handsome I was at my most handsome – that was good enough. Probably 18-29, somewhere in there. Apparently I was quite goodlooking back then because women were always raving about how handsome I was. And in addition there were the continuous IOI’s, smiles, flirtations, and checkouts. I even had women do complete 90 degree turns and actually rubberneck me like you do an accident on a freeway.
When I was 24, I had two offers to be a male model.
When I was 28 years old in Santa Ana in 1985, I remember I was in a library once, and every time I looked up, every woman in that library from 16 to 50 was staring right at me. With the IOI stare too. My head was completely insane with OCD too, so anxiety disorders don’t necessarily turn women off if you are goodlooking enough.
I remember when I was 24 in Winter 1982, I went to a music industry event at the Roxy in LA. It was an insider’s event with all record company people to showcase some new band. They gave you free tickets and all the beer you want.
Well, as soon as I walked in the door of that nightclub, I looked out at the club, and I almost fell over. Because I swear every single woman in that whole damn club was looking right at me. With IOI’s too. It was actually terrifying for some reason because I have never had so much attention like that, and I shivered a bit, and a wave of fear ran through my body. I guess if it happens all the time you get used to it, but if you are not used to it, it can be overwhelming or frightening to have all that female attention.
But it’s stuff like that that builds confidence and Inner Game. You have things like that happen to you all the time for years on end, and you end up thinking you are That Guy. And with me it has stuck my whole life.
I must say it’s awesome to live like that. Even having that experience of walking into that nightclub, and a whole club full of hot women looking right at me with IOI’s, most men never have an experience like that in their lifetimes. If you could have an experience like that, I can’t describe what a rush it is. It is what I would call a peak life experience. It’s almost like things like that only need to happen to you a few times in life, and then the next day you can die happy because you have accomplished everything you ever wanted in life.
I’ve been getting IOI’s ever since that night of course, but they have really disappeared lately. My usual day nowadays is about like Tulio’s. If I even get one or two IOI’s or flirtations in a day, that’s a very good day. Usually I don’t even get smiles unless they are from people who work in stores, and often only when they are dealing directly with me. Checkers are often very friendly to me, but that’s their job.
What Exactly Is an IOI?
One day a couple of weeks ago, I don’t know what happened. Maybe I psyched myself into this really good vibe or halo using some Inner Game. Inner Game, vibes, halos, or I even go so far as to call it magic is quite real. It’s a vibe or energy that is generated within you that radiates out into the world giving off whatever vibe you want to give off. The more revved up the vibe is, the more powerful it is.
But anyway, two women in cars, one ~30 and the other ~40 looked at me and checked me out. If they look at you at all with a non-hostile look, they are usually but not always checking you out. At the very least they are interested in you.
Now, it is very hard to describe what a “checking you out” look is like. It’s more of a Gestalt thing that defies description and is one those many things in life that is described better with”I know it when I see it” than an actual description. Once you have seen it enough times, you can’t mistake it for much of anything else.
If they’re not interested or if you turn them off or are not attractive to them, they will not even look at you. They will act like you are invisible.
Just Because She’s Looking at You Doesn’t Necessarily Mean It Is an IOI
Sometimes or most all the time if you are unlucky, if they do look at you, they will give you not particularly friendly looks of all different types that are hard to describe. Now those are cases where a woman is looking at you, but she’s not checking you out. Just because a woman is looking at you doesn’t mean it’s an IOI. Whether it is an IOI or not has more to do with the quality of the look. I mean, sure, women look at me a fair amount of the time nowadays, but the look is often not a good one. I get these looks that say, “WTF is with you anyway?” or “What’s up with you?” or “Who are you?” or “Why are you looking at me?” or maybe just “WTF!”
A look that is an IOI has a certain quality about it unlike the other ways women look at you. It can take various forms, some of which are very flattering. Once you have gotten different types of IOI’s repeatedly in your life, it’s easy to pick them out and even figure out what sort of an IOI it is because even IOI’s differ. But describing it in words is hard because once again it is one of those intuitive things that is more “I know it when I see it.”
The “Oh man, I really like him!” Look
One of the best ones of all is “!Oh man, I really like him! or Oh Hell yeah!” or “Damn, he is Alpha as fuck! I want to fuck him right now! Damn, I would like to jump on him! Damn, he’s a bad boy! Ha ha damn, he turns me on!”
She always has this sort of winking, secret, private pleasure, sneaky, conspiratorial, and devilish smile on her face that is part of the look. Her eyes are lit up and twinkling. Her body is revved up with energy flowing through it, and it almost looks like it might start slightly vibrating. And she looks like she is ready to laugh in a quiet giggling or chuckling way for some reason, maybe because sexy as Hell bad boys are a bit funny for some reason.
She is often in the background or even behind you, so you don’t see her unless you turn around. It has a secretive quality about it, as she is trying to look at you surreptitiously for some reason, maybe because she’s so turned on, and she doesn’t want to be that revved up when she is face to face with you. She’s secretly lusting after you in private from some rather hidden place in the background somewhere.
I even got those from young women, but only rarely, when I was in my 50’s, but I haven’t gotten one in a long time.
It’s one of the most killer, ego-charging looks a man can receive from a woman in a lifetime, and it doesn’t happen very often or probably at all for almost all men. The look seems to be generated more by the Game you are running or the vibe you are giving off than your actual attractiveness, though you have to have a base level of attractiveness to get it in the first place.
Sometimes a Look Is Only a Look
But even that look might just mean she is fantasizing about you idly. The last two I got were from young women, one 23 and the other maybe 28. They were both goodlooking, and the 28 year old was a drop dead knockout. But one was married and the other had a regular boyfriend who I saw her with a lot. I doubt if either one wanted to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands with me. Instead they were just enjoying me as some sort of a sneaky private devious pleasure.
That look definitely means you are making her horny. It’s raw, pure female lust. But just because you’re making her horny doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to have sex with you! This is so hard for men to understand.
Think about it. In a woman’s lifetime, how many men do you think she sees out and about who make her horny where she thinks, “Damn I want to jump him right now!”? I say 10,000. One a day for 30 years. It could be a lot more than that.
Ok, how many men does your average woman sleep with in a lifetime? The mean is three men. One a decade for 30 years.
How many women fuck 10,000 men? Well, Annie Sprinkle has, but few other women have. So for every 3,300 men a woman sees in her life who make her horny, she has sex with only one of them! All the rest just turned her on, but nothing came of it, often because that was her intention.