I finally see now how incels feel because I have virtually become Omega simply due to my age.
I realize that this is just the normal way that life is, but it still hurts. The problem is I still see myself as That Guy. I see young women all the time who would be checking me out, flirting with me, or at least looking at my younger self, and now they act like I’m a ghost.
My former life varied from Normie to Failed Normie to various species of Chad. According to one definition of the term, I’ve been Alpha for a lot of my life.
I was also incel for various periods which ended after variable lengths of time. I was actually legendary neighborhood Chad at one point. Other men almost worshiped me like a God. I kept hearing:
How the Hell do you do it? I will never understand how you get all these chicks. This is one thing I will never understand.
Like that. It’s a great way to live. If you can live like that for even one month or maybe even one week, you can just about die happy the next day because you would have gotten everything you wanted out of life.
Fast forward and I am now 60 years old. I am now invisible to 99% of women on Earth. Even women in their 50’s won’t date me because once you have that 6 in front of your age as opposed to a 5, you are now old. Usually only women 60+ will date me, but a lot of them look like monsters or wild animals that escaped from the zoo. My hardons are a bit iffy nowadays anyway, but how I could get it up for one of these wildebeests is beyond me.
All my life, women have been looking at me, flirting with me, smiling at me, going into robot frozen stares at me (Game pro tip: that means you’re making her horny and she wants to have sex with you). I am used to this. It’s just the normal every day.
Well, now that’s gone. All the sex has been sucked out of my world. Almost no woman flirts with me ever, not for one second. Even the slightest bit of flirting that I try is coldly shot down. There is no possibility of sexual anything, even flirtation, in my day to day life. Almost no woman even looks at me anymore.
Sometimes they look at me and smile, but I think that is just to say, “You’re old but you’re normal, so I will smile at you.” Problem is if I go to talk to her after she smiled at me, she often acts outraged. Their attitude is,
How dare you fucking try to talk to me!
You see, I have no right to talk to them, or to talk to any woman, ever, for the rest of my life, I guess. Because age.
I also get these,
How dare you ever fucking look at me, old man!
looks sometimes. I can’t even look at these cunts.
Sometimes I will look at a woman, and she will almost fly backwards like,
I can’t believe you’re even looking at me, you gross old man!
Then if I talk to them, they fly backwards some more like,
You’re talking to me! I can’t believe it!
Probably because I am still halfway normal, and I still have 100% of my excellent Game skills (said Game which is now nearly completely useless due to age), they calm down, mention something about a husband, boyfriend, or fiance, and that’s that’s all I need to know. They are usually quite polite about it when they mention the husband or boyfriend. I do appreciate them letting me know so I don’t waste my time.
I said my Game is worthless. It is worthless, and my Game is kick-ass, or used to be anyway. But Game without Looks and $1.79 will get you a Slurpee at a 7-11 and not much else. In other words, Game -Looks is just about worthless. I’m so tired of all the PUA’s:
All you need is Game. Looks are not important.
They’re all fraudsters selling snake oil.
I still date young women sometimes, even all the way down to teenage girls if I get really lucky. I have no idea how I still get teenage girls because it’s impossible to do at my age. Apparently I am violating the laws of physics somehow. Problem is these girls and even young women up to late 20’s end up ending the relationship after 1-12 weeks.
When they end it, sometimes they more or less tell me I am ugly. I am getting told that a lot now. Specifically, they say they are not attracted to me. The painful thing about that is that no woman ever said that to me until I got into my 50’s. They broke up with me for all sorts of reasons, but none ever said they were not attracted to me. And no women who decided not to date me ever said she was not attracted to me. I did hear, “You’re not my type,” but that’s not necessarily insulting.
Like I sometimes date young women, even models. The last one (an actual model, 28 years old) was good for five weeks, and then she ended it, saying I did not turn her on. In other words, I am ugly.
She spent 24 hours in my hotel room recently and even spent the night in my bed. She acted like I was radioactive and went so far to the edge of the bed she looked like she might fall off. I had to go over to my edge. She freaked out and visibly flinched any time I even barely touched her. She wouldn’t even snuggle up next to me or kiss me a bit.
That was literally the worst night of my life. I have never felt so ugly, unattractive, and unwanted. The feeling is so devastating it is hard to put into words.
I hire maids, usually illegal aliens, to clean my place. I always try to seduce them because I am a disgusting pig who generally tries to seduce any woman unlucky enough to get stuck in my apartment. They’ve all been blowing me off, but sometimes I at least get to feel their bodies a bit through their clothes before they start laughing and push me away.
But last spring, I finally had some success! I got one of my maids to take a shower with me (she was homeless).
I told her she needed a shower as she was homeless, and she agreed. Of course it was a ruse just to get her into the shower so I could climb in with her. She went into the bathroom and started disrobing. I went in after her without saying a word. I didn’t say a word, just started disrobing myself. She didn’t say anything but she looked at me outraged like:
I can’t believe you’re doing this!
She got in the shower and I jumped in right afterwards. She protested for a few seconds, but then she calmed down. It was the same attitude:
What the Hell!? I can’t believe you just jumped in the shower with me!
I kept grabbing her the whole time I was in the shower because, well, that’s what you do when you’re naked in the shower with a woman, right? Hey women. Pro tip: If you get naked and take a shower with a man, you need to do some sexual things with him. If you don’t want to do sexual things with the guy, hey, no problem. I get it. But don’t jump in the shower naked with him then!
She kept knocking me away the whole time in the shower, but I did get to bang her a bit for 5-10 seconds, which made it all worthwhile. Then the cunt dared to walk around my apartment naked for two hours! I was grabbing at her the whole time of course because that’s obviously what you do when you have a naked woman wandering about your place, right? She kept pushing me away. After a while she got pissed. I kept grabbing at her anyway. My attitude was,
You don’t want to me grab you? You can put some fucking clothes on baby!
My apartment is enemy territory, ladies!
Finally I caught her shooting speed in my dining room, stark naked. That was it. Out she went.
This whole episode also felt very bad. A naked woman strolling around my place for two hours and refusing to do anything sexual with me. How humiliating!
With a lot of women at stores, I can only have the most minimal conversations. Any time I get into anything remotely personal other than (“Here is my order”), they act weird, uncomprehending, outraged, shocked, disappointed, or anxious, and either stop listening or ignore me. Women ignore me when I try to talk to them all the time now. It can’t tell you how bad that feels.
I can’t look at high school girls at all anymore, and I’ve been looking at them my whole life. Now if I look at them, I get these pure hate looks in return. I have no right to look at JB’s!
I get conversational hard shutdowns constantly.
I so miss being treated like I am attractive by women, women looking at me, smiling, winking, flirting, checking me out, going into zombie stares. I long for that every day, and every day it never happens. I am coming to the horrible conclusion that maybe I am ugly after all. Since age 18, people have been raving over how good-looking I was (especially in my 20’s). It was like everyone wanted me, girls, women, and even men (fags). Now no one wants me. I think I still look good though because a lot of older women say I still look good.
So this is how it feels. This is what being an Omega is like. This is what these poor incels go through every day of their miserable lives, all day long. Fuck. It’s holy depressing as all get out. It would be infuriating too if I did not have my past to fall back on, so it doesn’t make me angry. But I can see how it would enrage a man. I’m just choosing not to get enraged.
I get it. I see why incels commit suicide. In fact, I don’t see how any of them don’t commit suicide. These guys deserve some credit just for hanging in there and carrying on.
And I even understand why they go ER, although of course I cannot support that. It’s amazing more guys haven’t gone ER. I don’t see how there’s only been a few.
People must have an awful lot of self-control.
I’m not surprised at all that so many of these incels hate women.
When you are like this, women more or less treat you like serious crap all the time, 24-7, day in and day out as the years stretch on. Well, after months or years of being treated like crap full time by women…it’s obvious that a man would start to hate them, right? I mean why not? Why not hate people who treat you like crap and act like they hate you? Hate makes hate, right? You hit a man enough times, he might just start hitting back, right?
I think I actually get off easy, as women are still very nice to me if I keep it to “Here is my order.” Some of them even call me by name. A lot of women in stores still smile at me when they see me (except I am not allowed to talk to them). Some will even talk to me casually (except no 1% even hint of flirtation).
I’ve heard that these incel guys don’t even get smiles from women! Good God. How could anyone live like that?