Why Do Straight People Assume a Bisexual Man's Sexuality Has Changed if He Dates a Woman, but Assume He Is Gay if He Dates a Guy? Why Does This Notion Confuse Straight People?

Answered on Quora.
A lot of people cannot wrap their heads around the idea that there are men who are actually bisexual. In straight society, bisexual men are typically regarded as gay. And in gay society, tragically many bisexual men are regarded as gay.
I doubt if there are huge numbers of actually bisexual men, but they do exist. For some time, lab studies concluded that bisexual men did not exist. Several studies of self-proclaimed bisexuals in the lab showed that all of these men reacted maximally to males and minimally to females. This is the precise reaction the gay men get in the lab when tested this way.
It was concluded that bisexual men were simply gay men who could not handle either the idea or the stigma of being gay, so they were identifying as bisexual as a better (less homophobic) alternative to being gay. I will tell you that in straight society, women at least have a much more positive opinion of bisexual men than they do of gay men. They give the man massive bonus points simply for liking and having sex with women. In straight male society, I am not quite sure, as many of them seem to think that bisexual men are gay.
It is quite clear that many so-called bisexual men are actually gay. There are many young men in their 20’s who call themselves bisexual, are married or have girlfriends, but spend most of their time in gay bars or with gay men. By age 30, most of these men have come out completely as gay and no longer identify as bisexual. I appears that many young gay men in their 20’s cannot cope with the idea or stigma of being gay so they retreat into the lie of bisexuality.
However, a recent study in the lab showed a group self labelled bisexual men who indeed reacted strongly to both men and women in the lab. The conclusion was that bisexual men do indeed exist.
Incidentally, studies have shown that bisexual men have worse mental health and more problems in many ways than even gay men, perhaps for the reasons in paragraph one.

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