Can Gay Men be Attracted to Masculine Women?

Answered on Quora.
You know this is a very interesting question because maybe some of them are!
I had a 15 year old boy in my counseling practice once. After a little bit, it became clear that his problem was that he was gay, but he did not wish to be. However, one thing he told me was very interesting. He told me that there was this one girl that he liked, but she looked like a boy. So gay men are not just attracted to males but to “maleness.” That is, they are attracted to males or anything that seems pretty male, which could include a very masculine woman.
Interestingly, a lot of straight men are attracted to drag queens and pre-op transsexuals simply because even though they are men, they look very much like women. This is because straight men are not just attracted females but to to “womanness.” That is, they are attracted to women and anything that seems like a woman, which could include a very feminine man or a man in drag.

What Do Closeted Gay Men Do to Appear Heterosexual?

Answered on Quora.
They do nothing at all. If by closeted you mean gay men who are not out, I have known quite a few, and they do nothing aside from simply not stating that they are gay.
Well, the one thing they will often do is have a girlfriend. I have no idea how this relationships works.
Other than that, they do not try to hide their homosexuality. They aggressively pursue men, especially straight men (like me). Yes, I have been pursued by quite a few closet cases, and I have a low opinion of them.
One things they don’t do is feign an interest in women. The closeted gay men I know never talked about women, not even once. They never looked at women, not even one time. In fact, that is one of the ways you can figure out that they are closeted if you watch them closely over a period of time. Look at how the man looks at and talks about women. If he never talks about women, and he acts like they are ghosts, he may well be closeted.
I had a closeted gay boss one time who acted like the beautiful women in the office were part of the furniture. He reacted to them the same way you would react to a chair or a desk.
I knew another closeted gay man at another job. We would eat in the lunchroom, and a hot woman at work would walk in the room, and every man would look up and stare at her. All except for Arthur. To Arthur, those women may as well have been ghosts. It was as if they were not even there.
There was another closeted gay man at the same work. I had no idea he was gay until a co-worker once told he thought the guy was. He said the man got phone calls at work all the time, but they were always from men. Now that I think back on it, I am quite certain that this man was gay.
They were all very easy to figure out, as closeted gay men continue to pursue men sexually, and gay men are quite easy to figure out if you have been around them. For one thing, they give off a strong sexual vibe when you are around them.
One thing I have noticed is that closeted gay men are often not effeminate. The three men described above were all wimpy but not effeminate. They were much wimpier than the average wimpy straight men. In fact, they were so wimpy that it was almost bizarre, a parody of wimpiness. They acted like mice.
There are some other giveaways. I had a boss who I strongly suspected was a closeted gay at a job I had. One day he opened a drawer, and something happened that shocked or surprised him. For some reason, he shrieked in a very high pitched girly voice due to shock. All of the women in the office were looking at each other and me with raised eyebrows. You would almost never see a straight man shriek like that, especially over something trivial. I later figured out that this man was quite closeted.
The only thing different about closeted gay men is that they are not out. They simply do not state that they are gay. I am not sure what they would say if you asked them. One closeted gay men threatened to beat me up when he found out I was telling people he was gay (he had been pestering me forever and would never take no for an answer). Honestly everyone knew he was anyway.
The case of closeted gay men seems to be the “open secret.” It’s something that everyone knows, but no one ever talks about it. I recall once at my aunt’s workplace, a number of closeted gays at work got together one and aggressively came out in front of the whole office in a pretty in your face way. I assume they were looking for a bad reaction. Instead, the whole office simply shrugged and everyone said, “Oh well, we always figured you were gay anyway.” The gays were disappointed, as apparently they were looking for an extreme reaction.
Some of the closeted gay men I have known were profoundly unhealthy psychologically. Even most gay men seemed healthier than these closeted men. Some of them were seriously screwed in the head in a bad way.

Everyone Thinks I’m Gay and Won’t Stop. Help?

Answered on Quora.
We need to know why they are saying this about you, assuming you are a man.
Is it because you do not have a girlfriend or a wife or you do not date women? If so, then just say, “No, I am not gay. I am just a straight guy who has no luck with women.”
Is it because of the way you act? One of the most painful things I ever had to realize in my life was that there was something about my behavior, the way I walked, talked, looked, sat, stood, moved, my mannerisms, how I held a cup of coffee, etc. that was leading many people to think I was gay.
I was crushed when I heard this because I never thought I was effeminate and, in fact, I very much dislike effeminate behavior. The implication that people thought I was effeminate in some way was soul-crushing. I was suicidal for months afterwards.
The problem is that in your case this is probably due to behaviors that have become so deeply rooted in you that they are almost impossible to change.
In recent years, I have decided to act a lot more masculine, and I hardly hear this anymore. Unfortunately, now I knock things over, break things, make a lot of noise, and even get into yearly fistfights, but if this is the price I have to be for people to stop calling me gay, it’s worth it. I have always had a masculine core, and I have found that most straight men do, even men who you would rarely suspect it in.
I would say that if you increase the masculinity of your behavior, you might be hearing this a lot less often. I used to hear it a lot as a young man, but now I hear it maybe once every two years. 99.9999% of the time, people think I am straight.
There is a particular sort of Hell for straight men who are often thought to be gay. It’s not a pleasant place at all to be, and it leads to all sorts of problems. These problems will follow you all through life like a black cloud that never goes away, everywhere you go and everything you do, until you deal with the fundamental issue.
You may find gay and bi men after you a lot, which is no fun. In my case it was like mosquitoes in Alaska. You may start wishing you never see a gay or bi man again. I did.
Gay men will often hassle you and insist that you are really gay, you are just pretending to be straight, and you need to come out already. This mind game can have devastating effects on a young straight man unless he has a very strong mind.
Gay men may sexually harass you and fire you from a job for not having sex with them (this happened to me and one of my friends) or try to blackmail you (this happened to two of my friends who rented rooms from gay men who after a while said you’re either having sex with me or I throw you in the street). And when you tell people you are not gay, typically they will not believe you and will accuse you of lying. It’s exasperating to say the least.
Lots of people are getting you wrong on the most fundamental level.
Probably the worst of it is you get all of prejudice of being gay without any of the fun.

Is Sending Kissing Emojis to Men Considered Gay?

Answered on Quora.
It sure seems gay. I would never send a kissy emoji to a male unless I was pretending to be gay for a gag.
Straight men don’t kiss men. When you send a kissy to a man, you are either kissing him or blowing him a kiss. They both sound rather gay to me.
There are some straight men out there who kiss guys who they are close friends with. It is a straight up peck on the lips, not a deep kiss. I don’t get it, and I wouldn’t do it if you paid me, but these men are not gay.
Why do it? There are lots of smileys, winks, thumbs up, etc. you can send instead.

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Situational Homosexuality in Men and Women with Emphasis on Prison Populations

Rod Fleming: Heterosexuality is the default human position, absolutely. Evolutionary pressure alone assures that. However, don’t forget the importance of ‘situational homosexuality’. Extreme examples of this occur in prisons, boarding schools, and other single-sex environments. Although more work has been done on the male variant, it happens in women too. This means that in some cultures the number of people who have, perhaps even regularly, indulged in homosexual behavior, is much greater than the number of those for whom it is their primary orientation.
This even becomes a defined feature in many cultures, where young males go through a phase of being submissive sexual partners to older ones. Once they get older, they adopt the dominant role BUT they also marry women and become fathers.
Homosexuality is a very complex phenomenon, massively influenced by culture. I think this is because the imperative to have sex, particularly for men, is stronger than the imperative for heterosexual sex.

Thanks Rod. I am quite familiar with situational homosexuality. A lot of young straight men engage in some sort of sexual behavior with men when they are young, say between 18-30, particularly say 19-23. I saw enough of it with my own eyes, though I never participated and it always creeped me out big time. Sometimes they did it right in front of my face (guys grabbing each other and kissing each other). I was disgusted and frightened. Later they got mad at me for not joining in the faggy fun!
These young men had sexual things going on with women too, but just not very often or at least not often enough. Later in life, I think all of them did the default marrying or LTR’s with women and even having kids. The gay stuff early on was just a short term detour, a side road off their main route in life.
Young men need sex with women. When you deprive young men of women to have sex with, they’re going to screw guys.
Regarding your last sentence, see above. The dominant theme of men’s sex lives is, “A pole needs a hole.” No women around? Fine, they’ll screw a guy. Or a little girl. Or an old lady. Or maybe an animal. Or probably even a hole in a wall.
Older women often say, “Men will fuck anything.” In a sense, they are largely correct.
Regarding women, let me tell you something.
I know a thing or two about women’s prisons. There is far more sex going on in a typical women’s prison than in a typical men’s prison. The sexual energy in those places is crazy. They even create their own dildos, I think in the bakery, though I am not sure how they do it. Most are basically straight women. They call, “Gay for the stay, straight at the gate.” As soon as they leave prison, those women go right back to men.

Behind Gay Bars

There is not nearly as much sex going on in men’s prisons as people think. Further, there’s a strong taboo against homosexuality among many of the very masculine men who are typically in there.
A friend of mine did some time in Los Angeles County Jail, only a 4-5 months. It must have been pretty bad in there though because when he came out, he was far worse than when he went in. He was basically full-on psycho when he got out. I don’t see the point of imprisonment if they are even more violent, nuts and psycho when they get out than when they went in. What’s the point?
He told me they had a “Nut Tank” for the crazies. It was a segregated unit separate from the main unit for seriously mentally ill or disturbed prisoners.  They also had a “Queen Tank” for the gay men, who were also segregated from the main unit.
I know some guys who did some serious prison time and they told me there is not nearly as much sex in there as you might think, and rape is not real common either. They said the majority of men who are not doing very serious hard time or life don’t participate in gay sex behind bars. Even guys doing ~10-20 years often don’t participate in homosexuality behind bars.

How Do I Become Asexual or Permanently Freed from Sexual Desire?

There are some drugs out there that will kill your sex drive pretty well. Either that or wait until you are my age (60), and your sex drive will go away on its own whether you want it to or not!
Realistically though, some men have gone off to monasteries for this reason. As far as turning off the very physical drive though, good luck with that!

Are the Vast Majority of People Heterosexual?

Absolutely. The overwhelming majority of humans are heterosexual and only a tiny percentage of humans are gay or even bisexual. Heterosexuality is simply the default among humans.
Good data from Australian medical students from one of the world’s top sexologists found that at the time of the survey in the 1980’s, 94% of men and women are maximally attracted to the opposite sex. 93% of men and women are straight or lean straight.
Only 6% of men and women are gay or lean gay, and in fact, many recent studies show that that figure may even be high.
Repeated surveys in the US show that ~3% of men are gay and 2% are bisexual, and ~1.5% of women are lesbians and another 1.5% are bisexual. These figures have been flat for several years now.
More recent studies of young women in the West have shown a high rate of bisexuality among young women aged 18–30 in recent years, an average of 12%. This indicates a dramatic increase in female bisexuality in recent years. It is not known what caused the increase, but I doubt if it was organic. Not all bisexual women are “born that way.”
Personally I think that despite the surveys, up to ~6% of men may be either gay or lean gay. Only 4% should really be classed as gay, and the rest would be gay-leaning bisexuals. This is close to the 5% gay or bisexual figure found in the survey discussed in the second paragraph.
Probably ~1–2% of women are lesbians. Rates of female bisexuality are variable and are discussed above.

Is It Bad to Call Someone a Faggot?

Gay men have a huge misconception about this. They think that straight men go around calling gay men faggots all the time. Actually we do not. It’s considered a mean, hateful, homophobic thing to say about gay men, and that sort of nasty homophobia is just not popular anymore.
However, the word fag is used a lot, often free of any negative context. It can have a negative context, but even then it tends to be mild. Or it can be a major put-down. I think straight men like words like fag and queer etc. because we have a single word for gay women, lesbians. We have no single word for gay men. We have to use two words all the time, gay men. That’s awkward. It would be nice if we could come up with a single word for gay men like we have for lesbians.
I recently took a trip of several days with my cousin. He’s about as PC and SJW as you can get, and he’s really not homophobic at all. I mean 0%. Yet he called gay men fags several times on the trip. In his case, the word was simply descriptive.
People think words themselves matter, but they really don’t. That’s magical thinking – these people treat words as if they are alive. Words have no particular meaning other than the meaning we assign to them. The word fag used in a vicious way is a slur, but the same word used by a gay-friendly person is simply descriptive. That is because that word, like many words, has whatever emotional context and association that the speaker has placed on the word.
Now here comes the main thing that gay men will never get. Yes! Straight men use the word fag a lot. But nowadays it’s mostly used towards other straight men! Calling another straight man a fag does not mean he’s gay. It’s the same as calling him a pussy, a wimp, a wuss, a girl, or a bitch. You are saying he’s not masculine. So the word fag is usually used to by straight men to police masculinity and keep other straight men in line.
Nowadays it tends to be used towards men who do not side with their brothers and instead side with the women. Heterosexuality is about the War of the Sexes. In a sense, no matter how much they love each other, men and women are enemies. This is because they think differently and tend to want different things. This leads to all sorts of clashes, feminism, men’s rights, and #metoo only being a few of the more recent ones.
Say a man asks out, flirt with, or talk to a woman. A lot of idiot men are what we call cockblockers, white knights, or Captain Save-a-ho’s. They are always rushing to the side of women to protect them from these evil horny men. Any man who tries to discourage another man approaching a woman in a friendly, possibly sexual manner would be called a fag or a faggot.
The idea is to shame this cockblocking man so he quits trying to stop other men from getting laid. And yes, men routinely cockblock other men and try to stop them from getting laid. They think they are protecting women by white knighting them this way, and they think they can themselves get access to the woman. Truth is women are contemptuous of white knights even though they are rescuing the women.
The word is also used in a teasing sense towards other men. You go over to your friend’s house, and there are several men, all good friends of yours, sitting around watching TV and taking bong hits. You walk into the room and say, “So what are you fags up to?”, and you laugh a bit as you say it. The whole room will explode in laughter. Or you point to one friend, and say loudly as if you are greeting a long-lost friend you have not seen in years, “What’s up fag?” This will also cause the room to collapse in spasms of laughter. This is macho talk, masculine talk, heterosexual talk or straight talk, however you want to see it. But if it is straight talk, it has a strong masculine overtone to it.
However, the purpose here really is to enforce heterosexuality among straight men and make sure that they don’t engage in any gay-type behaviors. Because by making the word fag an object of absurdity and ridiculousness, you also make any type of gay sexual behavior pretty much off-limits because it’s so ridiculous, derisive and preposterous that it is almost unthinkable. By making the word an object of ridicule for other straight man, you place the behavior outside of the limits of the possible.
Men who call each other fags are also enforcing masculinity by proclaiming their masculinity. Typically men who talk like this will never or almost never try any sort of gay sexual behavior for the reasons stated above. Once again though it is not directed at gay men, but it is used to enforce straight men’s masculinity and keep straight men straight sexually.
Men in prisons sometimes call each other fags. A man visits another man’s cell. “What’s up fag?” says the guy in the cell to his visitor. They are both in prison for a long time. There are no women around. They’re probably horny and in need of an outlet. There is a lot of sexual tension in the air which by default is going to get routed homosexually because there are no woman around.
By calling each other fags, they are enforcing masculinity and heterosexuality and trying to defuse the heavy gay tension that builds in a place like this. They are both trying to be straight and not give in to gay temptation to relieve their frustration, in other words. Using that word towards each other is an attempt by both of them to stay straight in prison where it’s hard to do. Once again by making the word an object or ridicule for the men who use it, it serves to place the behavior outside the realm of the possible.
Gay men need to understand that straight men use that word far more nowadays towards other straight men to police masculinity and enforce “bros before hos” mindsets. The purpose is to shame the other man so he mans up or sides with his brothers against the women.

Male Homosexuality and Lesbianism as "Syndromes"

 Jynxi: I’m glad you cleared that up because that was exactly my conclusion. That being said, how would you go about classifying homosexuality? Would it not be a type of BDD light?

Homosexuality is not a sin and it’s not chosen anyway. I am not much of a Christian, but it seems hard to figure out if it is a sin considering that God obviously made these people gay.
Homosexuality itself is not a mental disorder. Just because a man is turned on by men and not women or a woman is turned on by women and not men doesn’t mean that that man or woman is crazy. It’s not nuts or crazy to have a sexual preference for your own sex and not the opposite sex.
And it makes no sense to call the whole homosexual syndrome a mental illness because many gay men and possibly lesbians are extremely healthy psychologically. You can’t have mental disorders where the sufferers are very well-adjusted and mentally healthy. That goes against the definition of a disorder.
Nevertheless, both male homosexuality and lesbianism, while not being mental illnesses, still resemble them. In other words, homosexuality is not a mental illness, but it looks like one! This is because there is so much pathology that seems to go along inevitably with these orientations when you look at them as groups.
The PC claim is that all homosexual pathologies are due to discrimination. However, recent surveys have found high levels of all sorts of pathologies in both gays and lesbians even in places like Sweden and most recently in the Netherlands. Gays are more accepted there than anywhere on Earth, so the gays can’t use the discrimination excuse which they always use to handwave away all gay and lesbian pathology.
Male homosexuality and lesbianism on average cut a full 20 years off your lifespan. The most recent studies showing a 20 year lifespan reduction have come out of Sweden, Denmark and Canada. Gays also say that the 20 year reduced lifespan is due to discrimination, but this is hard to reckon with in places like Sweden and Denmark where there is little discrimination against gays. Gay men who die of non-HIV causes only live a few years longer than those who die of HIV, and lesbians who are not affected by HIV don’t live any longer than gay men.
The implication is that all of the pathologies and the reduced lifespan are simply inherent aspects of this homosexual syndrome when look at the groups as a whole. There is something inherent in homosexuality in many cases that causes you to be unhappy, have all sorts of problems and die young.
However, if you believe in Natural Law, homosexuality seems to be violation of Natural Law. Obviously nature wants men and women to pair off and make babies. When that gets messed up as in women raising children alone or homosexual couples raising children, all sorts of problems seem to develop. The children have quite a few more problems than those raised by a father and mother.
A household with a father and a mother continues to be the best for children. This doesn’t really make sense unless you think that possibly Nature wants it this way, or perhaps we have evolved to raise children this way. If the latter, we might not be adapted to raising children in other ways very well.
Homosexual relationships both gay and lesbian seem to run into all sorts of problems. First of all, they usually end up caricaturing heterosexual relationships with one playing the dominant and masculine man and another the submissive and feminine woman in both gay male and lesbian relationships. That even gays end up caricaturing the basic heterosexual pattern implies once again that this is either Natural Law or we have evolved that way (possibly “Natural Law” might mean nothing other than the way we have evolved).
Gay relationships seem almost inherently pathological. They do not seem to last long. 91% of even lesbians never have a relationship that lasts more than five years, and gay men are even worse. Hell, even I did better than that. Gay male couples are 4-5 X more likely to suffer from domestic violence than straight couples are. Lesbians beat each other up so often and so badly that their rates are off charts, worse than even gay men’s rates.
Lesbians often fall into what is called Lesbian Bed Death where they have sex once a month if that often. No one knows why this happens, but perhaps lesbian relationships lack the male “charge” that may be necessary to fire up female sexuality. Lesbians try to imitate the charge by having one woman play the male role, but maybe it doesn’t work.
Gay men typically have notoriously unstable relationships which are much more temporary even than those of lesbians. Gay male life often revolves around a never-ending swirl of temporary and often one-time or even anonymous relationships. A survey out of Australia in 2000 showed that many gay men were continuing to have sex with more than 100 men per year. And this is long after the wild promiscuity of the 1970’s that preceded the HIV epidemic calmed down to much lower levels in  the 1980’s. Even at this late date, gay men are very promiscuous.
All of this wild sex for some reason does not seem to make them happy and in fact it may make them unhappy. Many gay men seem to be caught in this never ending drug and promiscuous sex cycle in which they seem to be chasing an elusive happiness and fulfillment that they never seem to find.
Many gay men seem to be looking for a father figure. Gay men’s relationships with their fathers and male peers were typically quite poor, and it has been suggested that gay men are forever trying to fill the “father hole” that never got filled in them or are forever trying to find the male acceptance and brotherly love that they never got from their peers while growing up. Gay male culture revolves heavily around the notion of the “Daddy,” and many gay male relationships incorporate the “Daddy” archetype. A number of gay men have stated that a theme of their adult lives, particularly sexually, was a search, often wandering, painful, and yearning but ultimately fruitless, for the father relationship that they never had.
Neither gays nor lesbians seem very happy. Gay men have a 3X elevated rate of suicide even in the Netherlands, which is as gay-friendly as you can get. There seems to be something inherent in male homosexuality that causes this suicidality.
One can picture heterosexual relationships in the yin and yang figure. Take them apart and they float alone, missing their other half. Men and women only become completely whole in a heterosexual relationship where the male donates his masculine element to the woman which she incorporates into herself and the woman donates her female element into the male which he incorporates into himself. They are both now whole, locked together in that perfect fitting embrace, the key in the lock of the yin/yang emblem.
Look, I do not think that male homosexuality or lesbianism are lifestyles that gay men and lesbians choose to lead in most cases, although there are some women who seem to choose to be lesbians, and there are a few basically straight men who choose to live a gay lifestyle, but the numbers of the latter are very small.
By age 15, gay men cannot be changed to straight, and they cannot even be made somewhat more heterosexual or somewhat less homosexual. Male homosexuality is incurable, unfixable, or permanent, however you want to look at it.
In early onset cases, lesbianism appears to be quite permanent and incurable too. So almost all gay men and many lesbians are pretty much stuck being gay. 
Still the lifestyles that especially so many gay men in big cities seem to live seem to be very unhealthy both physically and psychologically. In many cases the way they live is simply not a good way to live your life.
I don’t hate gays and lesbians. You can’t hate people for what they can’t help. I wish for all of them the very same happiness and health that I want for myself in life, not 1% less.
Nevertheless, I worry that all of this pathology may simply be somehow inherent in the “syndromes” of male homosexuality and  lesbianism, possibly due to their violations of Natural Law or our evolution, and that these problems may never be fixed much.
And that is quite a sad thing to believe. 

The East Area Rapist – Original Night Stalker – Golden State Killer Has Been Arrested

Note: EAR-ONS, the East Area Rapist-Original Night Stalker, now known as the Golden State Killer, has finally been arrested due to a DNA hit. He was arrested at the Citrus Heights home he had been living in for the last 38 years. He was committing homicides during six of those years – from 1980-1986. This is also the time that his first and second daughters were born.
He was found due to a DNA hit. He was not turned in by his family, nor was he found due to a tip. LE had only been looking at him in the last six days. The put him under surveillance and obtained two discarded samples of his DNA. This usually means he drank something somewhere and then tossed the container. The best sample was found when he was shopping at a local hardware store.
He was taken into custody without incident. He is talking. He has admitted to also being the Visalia Ransacker, which was always a theory of mine. When taken into custody, he protested, “But I lived a good life. I threw him out long ago.” The reference is to his killer alter ego. Many killers have killer alter egos who reside in them like a second personality. Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and many others had these killer alter egos inside of them. The killers often addressed the killer alters as if they were another personality residing in the killer.
His name is Joseph DeAngelo and he is a former police officer. He worked for the Exeter Police Department from 197 3-1975. He was ransacking homes as the Visalia Ransacker the entire time. Finally he was nearly caught after burglarizing a home. He shot out a flashlight of a detective who was pursuing him. This detective worked in Visalia, a short drive away from where DeAngelo was working in Exeter at the time. The risk of being caught was too great.
It was after this incident that he left the police department, moved to another area and changed his appearance by losing a lot of weight. He then moved to the Sacramento area where he worked for the Auburn Police Department from 1976-1979. He was raping women as the East Area Rapist right in the same area where he was working as a police officer the entire time.
In 1979 he was arrested for shoplighting a hammer and a can of dog repellent from a store. He used these items in his crimes. He was fired from the police force after being convicted of shoplifting. In EAR’s crimes, the dogs were usually disabled in some way or another, possibly with the dog repellent. He probably sprayed it on his body also, as people said he had an odd smell about him. Also tracking dogs acted very strange around his scent.
He often broke into homes before he raped the woman, leaving ropes and learning the layout of the home before he came back later to rape. He knew all about his victims, where they worked, the names of their husbands and boyfriends, the names of the children, everything. He had a tiny penis. He spoke through clenched teeth and breathed with deep gasping breaths. He typically wore a ski mask.
He taunted many of his victims with phone calls for years after raping them. When victims changed phone numbers, he seemed to figure it out very quickly. He cut the phone lines every time he broke in. He was an expert burglar and he spent a lot of time ransacking the homes after he raped the woman, sometimes stealing a few items. He would often prepare a meal or watch TV.
The woman or couple could hear him talking to himself much of the time, often muttering. In a number of cases, two separate voices were heard. Also, in some cases, while EAR-ONS was inside the home, doorbells rang, people pounded on doors, phones rang and people honked outside the building. This has led many to believe that he had an accomplice. The murders of the Maggiores in Sacramento in 1978 were said to have been committed by EAR-ONS and a second man who has never been identified. I believe he may well have had an accomplice.
His getting fired from the police department may have angered him because he started killing soon after that. From then on, he always murdered in every attack, never leaving anyone alive. These crimes were committed in Ventura County, Goleta, Dana Point and Irvine, all in Southern California. The stories surrounding these crimes are some of the creepiest and craziest of them all.
Neighbors described him as a rage-aholic who was angry most of the time. He was often his yard swearing and yelling. You could hear him yelling even a few houses down inside your house. He was often yelling at his girls. He got into several confrontations with neighbors – one over mowing her lawn in her backyard. He told her she was making too much noise.
People said that during his rage attacks he often seemed to be having a conversation with another person, but he was the only one there. The rage attacks finally calmed down in the last six years. Parents who lived near him would not let their kids play with his daughters because of their fathers’ behavior.
His wife claims to have divorced in 1999, but other sources say that they are still married, though they have been estranged for 19 years. The wife is a local attorney and appears to be a real piece of work herself – a real nasty person. She seems to have been a perfect match for him. There is a scathing review from a former client on Yelp that leaves a damning impression of the wife.
The rest of the post is a repost from my 2012 post on the subject.

Voice recording from the East Area Rapist/Original Night Stalker.

His known criminal career ranged from 1976-1986, though he was also the Visalia Ransacker active in Visalia in 1974. The Ransacker also committed a homicide.
The EAR mostly just raped, but he did kill one couple who were out for a walk in the Sacramento area. The crimes began with a rape spree in the Sacramento area in 1976-78. Then he moved his area of operation to Modesto, Davis and the Bay Area for more attacks in 1978-79.
During his wild spree in the Sacramento area, community meetings were held. He apparently went to at least one of these community meetings and sat in the audience. We know this because a man spoke at the meeting and said, “What kind of man would sit back and let his wife get raped like that without doing something about it?”
Nine months later, this man and his wife were attacked in their home. The man was tied up, and the woman was bound and raped. EAR was at the meeting, and somehow he knew who the man was or he followed him home from the meeting. Creepy!
He left the Sacramento area after two composites were released of possible attackers in the killing of the couple out for a walk, so those composites are probably good. He was 18-29 years old when he started.
He may have been in the military at the time of the original rapes. He drove a dark colored VW.
His career as EAR ended when he moved to Southern California in 1979 where he turned into the Original Night Stalker and escalated to homicides of both males and females in the Santa Barbara and Irvine/Laguna Niguel area from 1979-1986. In a number of these cases, via prowling, he noticed a couple having sex. Then he quickly broke in and blitzed them while they were having sex. In these later homicides, he tied people with ligatures but removed the ligatures before he left to remove evidence. During this phase, he was ~21-~38 years old.
He was still on the loose as of 1991, when the extremely creepy voice recording recording above was made. The recording is of the suspect making a taunting call to one of his original EAR rape victims who survived. He made these calls to several of his previous victims, but this is the only one that was left on an answering machine. The drawing at the beginning of the video is how he looked in his attacks. The gritted teeth are correct because he typically spoke through gritted teeth. At the time of the phone call, he was probably ~28-~45 years old.
The EAR MO was to stalk and maybe even burglarize in the area and gain a great deal of intelligence about the victims through break-ins and prowling. He often targeted areas that had homes for sale. He probably looked at a couple of homes for sale, posing as a prospective buyer and/or a fake real estate agent.
He would later return to the area, sometimes by vehicle, sometimes on a bicycle, and sometimes on foot. Attacks were typically made next to an open area from which he could make his escape. Telephone lines were usually cut before entering. The woman was bound with special knots and raped over a period ranging over up to three hours.
During this period, she would be raped, sodomized and forced to have oral sex. He also wandered the house, eating and drinking items from the fridge. He wandered in and out of the house, eating and drinking, apparently looking for people to come home. He ransacked through the house, only taking a few items of value.
If a male was in the house, he was bound and gagged and placed on the bed face down with a plate on his back and told that if he moved, he would die. At some point, he left, but the victim often could not tell when he left because he was wandering around so much. It often took the woman half an hour or so to get free of her bonds and get help, and by that time, he was long gone.
In some cases, he was seen fleeing and pursued, but he always got away somehow. One time police saw him on a bicycle with a ski mask and pursued him, but he escaped once again.
Several composites were made, but unfortunately, they do not look much alike. The original attacks were by a young White male aged 18-25, with sandy blond hair and blue eyes, 5’11 tall, muscled but with a thin body like a swimmer. He favored military green clothing but had a wide variety of clothes that he wore. He always wore tennis shoes with a herringbone pattern. He used a new ski mask in every crime and sometimes made his own masks. He had a wide variety of handguns and knives which he used in his attacks.
He committed over 50 rapes and 13 homicides.
He was very, very good. Good at what he did that is, one of the best. One of the best at getting away with his evil crimes. He’s one sick man all right though.
This site is an excellent resource on this master criminal.

Gender Identity Disorder and Transsexualism Are Mental Disorders

Jynxi: Would you say it’s safe to classify gender dysphoria as a psychosexual disorder, and would other sexual dysfunctions fall along a similar spectrum?

It’s not a sexual dysfunction. Those things make it so you can’t have sex very well.
Delayed ejaculation – Guy can’t orgasm or takes forever to orgasm. I actually had that for a while, and honestly, women don’t care that much about that particular disorder!
Premature ejaculation – Guy gets off right away.
Impotence – Guy can’t get it up.
Anorgasmia – Woman can’t orgasm.
Dyspareunia – Painful sex.
Vaginsmus – Clenching of vaginal muscles leading to difficult or impossible penetration.
Those are your sexual dysfunctions.
Wherever Transsexualism was before in the DSM before it was wrongly removed, that’s where it is now.
Gender Identity Disorder – I doubt if it is a paraphilia because it goes away in a lot of cases and paraphilias don’t go away. In minors, it goes away on its own in 70% of cases.
Actually GID looks more Anorexia Nervosa and Body Dysmorphic Disorder where people have a distorted view of their body. In anorexia, their self-image is always fat even if they are wasting away. In BDD, their self-image is that there is always something wrong with their face, even if nothing is wrong.
In both cases, the conviction with which the beliefs are held is either an overvalued idea or it is off into a sort of a psychosis. However, BDD is more of an anxiety process rather than a psychotic process.
In GID the belief that one is the opposite sex is also held with delusional intensity. I believe that these are simply mentally ill people suffering from the delusion that they are the opposite sex.
If a man insists that he is a woman against all evidence, isn’t that obviously a delusion? How could it be anything but a delusion? Take his clothes off. Let’s look at him. OK, well, he’s definitely a male. There’s no doubt about that.
What’s the evidence (that contradicts the physical evidence staring in our faces) that this man is really a woman? There is none other than his firm belief that he is a woman. But since when does someone believing that they are something make it so?
I believe I am a Carne Asada Super-burrito with Extra Onions and Cilantro and Added Cheese, Please. I am afraid to go outside because some hungry person might try to eat me.
Where’s the evidence that I am not a super-burrito? Just look at me. I am obviously not a serving in a Mexican restaurant, although any attractive women who think I am are welcome to try to gobble me up anytime they want to.
What’s the evidence that I am an 1100 calorie burrito? The evidence is that I believe I am. Ok, this makes it true? It’s true because I believe it?
 

Borderlands: Obsession, Delusion and Their Differential Diagnosis

The Borderland between Obsession and Delusion

Anxiety processes can at times escalate all the way to psychosis. I have had some OCD clients who I had a very hard time figuring out if they were psychotic or not. With one, I told a retired therapist of their symptoms, and the therapist immediately said, “Well, they’re psychotic. That’s a delusion.” The things that they believed or almost believed did look like psychotic delusions. However, they did not entirely believe them. OCD with Overvalued Ideas was probably a better diagnosis. There are a few cases of Psychotic OCD. I have never seen one though, although this case was getting close.
When OCD gets very bad, they appear psychotic. However, they generally are not, and in 95% of cases, I can figure out that they are not psychotic. That is because Severe OCD That Looks Psychotic has this particular look, feel, or vibe (gestalt) about it where the cases all give off this particular vibe. It’s like they are all reading off the same script in a sense.

The Problem of Psychotic People Hiding Symptoms

You get a different look, feel, or vibe (gestalt) with an actively psychotic individual, but they can be hard to figure out too because sometimes they lie about their delusions.
I have caught them hiding symptoms from me.
Some people with psychoses learn to hide symptoms because they figure out that every time they say “The FBI is after me,” someone grabs them and hauls them off to the hospital. So they continue to believe the FBI is after them, but they learn to shut up about it.
You look at what the person is doing in reaction to the thoughts. They thought the neighbors were hacking into their computer so they disconnected their computer from the Internet? Delusion. A person who just had the fear or obsession that the neighbors were hacking in would not disconnect the computer, and their description of the fear would be full of all of these strange doubts and uncertainties.

The Difficulty of Differentiating between Thoughts and Voices

Psychotic people sometimes refer to thoughts as voices. I had one client who referred to thoughts telling him to do bad things, in this case, to kill animals. He had recently killed five puppies in response to these thoughts ordering him to kill these animals. I suspected these were more than thoughts, so I had him describe them, and he said, “It’s a thought, you know. You hear it like someone standing next to you and talking.” Ok if you hear it outside your body like that, it’s not a thought, it’s a voice.
Some people with schizophrenia hear their thoughts spoken out loud in the environment, and they fear or believe that others can hear their thoughts being broadcast out there. However, if you corner them on it, some will try to deny it by saying that they just have very loud thoughts in their heads, and the thoughts are so loud that they worry or fear that maybe others can hear them. That’s not quite precisely a delusion, and it’s not a hallucination like the thought broadcasting. It’s off into the obsession/delusion borderland.

Schiz OCD – OCD with the Fear of Psychosis Theme

There is a type of OCD where the person fears that they are going psychotic. OCD’ers have made up a term called Schiz OCD for this illness, which is really OCD with the Fear of Psychosis as the theme. Some clinicians have complained to me about these “hokey names” for the different OCD types and accused me of making them up. I didn’t make up any of them.
The sufferers make up these names for the different themes that they have. I feel that the sufferers have a right to own their symptoms and illnesses and call them whatever they want to call them. That’s their right as sufferers.
Who are we to tell them that their name for their symptoms is the wrong name? Do we have a better name? Of course not. “We” are just arrogant clinicians who think we know these illnesses better than the sufferers themselves know them. I realize Schiz OCD is a confusing name, but it’s the name they picked, and we don’t have a better one, so let’s go with it.
They develop all sorts of “psychotic” symptoms, including fake delusions, fake hallucinations, and even perceptual disturbances. Once again the Schiz OCD symptoms have a completely different quality – look, feel, vibe or gestalt – than you get with someone who has actual delusions and real hallucinations. In addition, all of the Schiz OCD symptoms have a very similar quality across many different people – once again, it’s like they are all reading off the same script.

The Problem of Misdiagnosis in Schiz OCD

I have now seen more people like this than I can count, and I’m an expert on this illness. But I still get people with this type of OCD coming to me all the time with diagnoses of various types of psychoses, schizophrenia, psychotic depression, etc. They received these diagnoses from qualified clinicians such as psychiatrists and clinical psychologists. They were misdiagnosed in 95% of cases, so you see even skilled clinicians can’t tell this OCD type from a psychosis in a lot of cases.

My Fiance Thinks That I Am Gay, but I Know I Am Straight – Is There any Way I Can Prove to Her Medically That I Am Straight and Not Gay?

Answered on Quora.
This is a pretty serious situation.
I hate to say it, but I have been in this situation. But they were convinced that I was bisexual or that I used to be gay. I guess it was obvious that I liked women.
The problem here is that she is not accepting the fact that you are straight. In my opinion, once she starts doubting your heterosexuality like this, she’s never going to stop. She will never believe you are straight no matter how many times you tell her. They simply never change their minds about this.
Furthermore, it might be insulting. Many straight men are insulted by the idea that people, especially women and in particular their girlfriends, think they are gay. If this is how you feel, she is insulting you all the time you are with her.
Relationships with women need a couple of things to be successful.
There are two deal-killers.
First, she has to be OK with your masculine style. If she feels you are lacking in masculinity and she dislikes this, the relationship is over. It will never work well.
Second is she has to accept your sexual orientation and be OK with it. If you are straight, she has to believe that. She can’t be wondering if you are gay or bi. If you are bisexual, she absolutely needs to be OK with that. If she’s not, it will never work. In other words, your view of your sexual orientation and hers need to line up.
This also looks very bad for the relationship. I don’t see how this relationship works if she keeps this black cloud of your being gay over her head all the time. It’s going to affect her opinion of you, and not in a good way.
I realize that you are engaged, but I would get out of this relationship pronto. Either that or issue her an ultimatum that she either believes you are straight or you end the engagement, but in that case, I bet she would just agree to drop it and keep on wondering.
My advice is to end the engagement. This is so serious a matter that I do not see how this ends well.

Is It Hard for Gifted People to Accept Having a Higher Intelligence Than Most of the People They Know?

Answered on Quora.
We don’t mind at all. It doesn’t make us feel bad that we are a lot smarter than they are, if we are. It’s no big deal to me to be smarter than others, and I am smarter than 99.9% of the population, which means I am smarter than almost everyone. I have to be OK with this, or I will be miserable, as 99.9% of the people I meet will be less intelligent than I am.
But I don’t feel shy or ashamed about my brains. I rather like them actually.
On the other hand, very high IQ people have some special problems that a lot of lower IQ people will never understand. Once people get two standard deviations below me (30 points), they simply don’t understand the little difficulties that go along with being a cerebral outlier. They will just get angry and say my being smarter doesn’t make me better or something dumb like that or more or less tell me to shut up.
One of the problems is that I have a difficult time having relationships with women who are three standard deviations below me (45 points). Indeed studies show that at 30 IQ points difference, communication becomes difficult and in some cases impossible. Functional relationships fall apart due to lack of connection. For instance, a group will often not accept a leader who is more than 30 IQ points above them. They think he is too smart, and the connection necessary to be a leader is severed.
I date women who misspell common words or don’t know what Latin is. They might be 45–55 IQ points below me. I am also very educated. As you can see, it’s just not going to work. She won’t understand what I am talking about half the time.
I used to hang around mostly with people 3 SD’s below me. They were my dearest friends, but I was always frustrated because there were so many things I could not talk about with them. So there was this continuous sense of frustration running through our relationships. I don’t think friendships or relationships work very well when you get to 3 SD’s difference. 2 SD’s is more workable, but you are still explaining yourself a lot. If you like the teacher role, it’s OK.
One thing that is important is that if you are a cerebral alien like me, you are not supposed to talk about your brains to people who are ~25+ points lower on the scale. They will take it personally as an insult, and they won’t sympathize.
Very high IQ people can befriend other high to very high IQ people well, and you can talk about your brains with them a lot because most of them are very into their brains too, and they will often be awed or pleasantly impressed by your brain. Fast brains tend to be respected more by others with fast brains. People will slower brains are typically not very impressed for some reason.
Exceptional people like their talents. Gifted athletes, artists, and musicians enjoy their gifts and like to talk about them. Intellect is no different. A fast brain is often cherished by those who have one.

What Are the Main Signs That Your Friend Might Be Gay?

Answered on Quora.
None of these answers are really answering the question in the real world.
One I agree with is why it is important to know. In a sense it is important to know. You could argue that you need to know because you are afraid he might come onto you sometime, and you dislike that.
That’s legitimate but it’s a pointless worry because your best friend who you always thought was straight all this time is definitely not gay and he’s probably not even bi. I’ve had hundreds of ostensibly heterosexual male friends over decades, and I never had one secret gay or secret bisexual friend. I never had a friend pretend to be straight but really be gay.
The reason it is pointless to find out in my opinion is because you are going to find out right away anyway. In a number of cases, I got to know men who were gay or bisexual. In most cases, I figured this out immediately because they gave off a very strong vibe of sexual interest the very first time I met. Gay men usually give off a vibe of sexual interest when I am around them, typically when I meet them for the first time.
It’s the same vibe as straight women give off whether they want to date you or not. Non-lesbians give off a vibe that says, “Hi, you are a man. And I am a woman who likes men!” It’s as clear as air, and all or almost all non-lesbians give off this vibe. I mean all the way to women in their 80’s down to teenage girls. It doesn’t mean they want to go out with you necessarily. It’s simply a signal that they are heterosexual.
Gay men typically give off this same vibe. It says, “Hi, you’re a man! And I’m a man who likes men!” It has a sexual overtone in the same way the one the women give off does. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to have sex with you, but he might. He’s simply signally his sexual orientation, and in my opinion, humans do this routinely.
I doubt if either is conscious.
However, a problem is that as I got older than 55 years old, I started to meet young gay men who did not give off that obviously sexual vibe towards me. I assume it was because I was no longer attractive to them. So this will work better if you are younger, and it sure helps to be good-looking. A good-looking younger man will almost always elicit this vibe from any gay man. However, once my conversation got friendlier and more intimate with (more than just “here is my order”) that same sexual interest came back, with an odd intrigued aspect to it.
Even if they don’t give off that vibe or you don’t pick it up, obviously effeminate men are often gay. Only 3% of heterosexual men are effeminate, and 67% of gay men are, according to a recent study. The effeminacy is often combined with the sexual vibe, and there is your answer.
If you inadvertently make friends with a gay man, don’t worry. I have done this a number of times. Every single time, as soon as we got alone anywhere, even in public, the gay man came on strongly to me. This is what I meant when I said you will find out soon enough.
Some of your male friends my be bisexual. These are harder to spot, but after a while, he will always give off a sexual vibe around you or make an overt come on. This happened with every bisexual man I have known well enough to become friends with.
Some other ways are a total absence of interest in women.
You start talking women and sex, and he acts disgusted, bored, or disinterested. This is odd behavior as few straight men act that way.
He will never look at women, check them out, or talk about them. None of the gay men I knew ever did that. He might treat women like they are ghosts or furniture – it will be as if they were not even there. This is also very odd behavior for a heterosexual man.
As I said, it’s not something to worry about because in my experience meeting thousands of gay men over my life, they usually make that quite clear after you associate with them closely for a bit.
There are some people who confuse me. A male barista at a coffee shop had me confused for months, as I could not figure out if he was gay or not. I finally decided he was straight because in spite of the passivity, very soft voice, and feminine features, he moved his body in a very rigid, blocky (almost robotic or mechanical), and masculine way that gay men almost never do. Also he never gave off a sexual vibe over months.
Humans are just not good at hiding their sexual orientation.
I might add that once I make a determination that a man is gay, it’s always been correct. It might take me a while to get there, but I haven’t been wrong yet over almost 40 years.
However, I am excellent at reading people almost to the point of being a mind-reader. You have to be very good at reading people to use the techniques above, and many people, typically men, are just not good at that.
 

Why Do People from My Surroundings Automatically Assume That Intellect, Being Intelligent, or Intellectual is Equal to Asexual, No Sex, or No "Action"?

Answered on Quora.
I assume you are a man. There is a notion in our stupid society that very high IQ men (which would include me) can’t get laid with God’s help. Brainy guys are seen as sexless, awkward, nerdy virgins.
It’s not true. I know men with genius IQ’s with three digit lay counts.

Is It Common for Inexperienced Heterosexual Men To Be Mistaken as Gay?

Answered on Quora.
Yes, of course. Many straight men who lack a girlfriend or wife are typically thought to be gay. And boys and young men who do not date girls are often thought to be gay. This is pretty absurd, as homosexuality does not mean lack of female interests but presence of male interests.

Is It True That Some Old Gay Men Wear Diapers Because of Anal Sex?

Answered on Quora.
Absolutely! How common it is, I am not sure. I’ve been researching this for years though because it fascinates me. You will see references all over the web saying that this is a myth. A published study attempted to answer the question and came up somewhat affirmatively, but the study just led to more arguments.
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This man certainly did. His name is Joseph Scambria.
Scambria was a very sexually active gay man for only about 10 years. He contracted a number of STD’s in his anus, which among other things apparently led to a lot of anal scarring. Due to anal sex, he also developed hemorrhoids which became large and inflamed. Soon they protruded externally, and later he developed an anal prolapse.
All of this was from straight up anal sex (although a lot of it with countless partners) over a 10 year period. Finally he was vomiting blood and bleeding anally. He was in hospital care for four months. He dripped blood when he walked around the hospital and lost control of his bowels before he could make it to the bathroom sometimes.
Due to the scarring, he had multiple surgeries on his anus, and a section of it had to be removed. His sphincters were stitched into a narrow channel, but the stitches soon broke. Somehow or other this left him somewhat incontinent and at the age of 30, he was already in diapers. Two gay male commenters on his site, one 41 and one 61, both say they have to wear diapers now due to decades of anal sex.
Scambria notes that the bodybuilders he knew wore diapers when they lifted because the strain could cause incontinence.
So on that site there are three older gay men in diapers from anal sex and some bodybuilders wearing them part-time for the same reason.
Obviously this is a potential but possibly uncommon outcome from a decade or decades of very frequent anal sex.
Scambria also said that he spent a lot of time in the protologist’s office due to anal complaints before he became incontinent. He said that many gay men in San Francisco went to proctologists for one reason or another. He often saw his friends at the office.
He also said that quite a few gay men bottom for 10–20 years and then develop some sort of anal issues, so they quit bottoming and switch to being mostly tops.
The question is how often this happens. There are many reports of gay men who have been having anal sex for decades with few to no problems.
This can also occur with women who have a lot of anal sex, but my perception is that anal incontinence in women from anal sex is much less common than in gay men.
That said, for a gay man to get this, you might have to have a lot of anal sex for 10–40 years with many partners, get multiple anal STD’s, develop terrible hemorrhoids or a prolapse, and get a lot of warning signs before this happens to you.
This issue of anal sex and incontinence in gay men is covered up and handwaved away or out and out denied by a PC media and gay community. As chronic anal incontinence is an outcome for at least a few gay men, I think this issue should get a lot more publicity and research.

Why Does This Straight Guy Keep Staring at This Gay Guy?

Answered on Quora.
I can answer this. This is the straight up non-PC answer from working class White heterosexual hypermasculine and rather homophobic culture.
In this culture, if a man is staring at you, it means either of three things:

  1. He’s a fag. Sorry, but this is how they would phrase it. They probably won’t hit him or even bother him, as even this homophobic group is pretty PC nowadays. They don’t like gay men, but they don’t bother them either. They will just ignore them. If no, then 2 or 3.
  2. He’s looking for a fight or trying to fight you. Obviously this is a certain type of stare, generally a hostile one. If he doesn’t stop staring, there’s going to be a problem. More specifically, someone might get hurt. If no, then 3.
  3. He’s crazy. He’s a nut, a kook, a loon. This could even include neurotic, weirdo, etc. They will stare back at this man in a weird way like a “What the Hell is the matter with you, you freak?” stare. There’s a certain level of hostility to it, the way you might look at a disturbing crazy person.

Now if a man is staring at you and smiling, he is generally a straight man, and he is doing this out of admiration. There’s no sexual overtone to it. He likes and admires you on some level. Maybe he thinks you are a really cool dude, and he wants to be like you. Straight guys, often good-looking cool guy-types age ~25-40, sometimes give me this look. It’s quite a compliment.
If he is staring at you and smiling but has a creepy sexual look on his face, see 1 above. This is also rather stalkerish behavior, and it gives me the willies when gay men do this to me, sometimes by following me, which makes it even more stalkerish and creepy. He also might be closeted. One who did this to me at my university graduation ceremony (!) was very closeted. He followed me as I was leaving with my parents. It almost ruined the event for me as it scared the crap out of me.
In my life, I have found that the men who stare at me in a non-hostile are almost always gay or bi men. It’s an indication of sexual interest. I don’t particularly like it.
You are not supposed to stare at other men in my culture. It’s very much a no-no. You will make a lot of people mad if you do this, so you should not do it. You are not even supposed to look at men much. You look at women, not men. Looking at men too much is considered gay, so most men don’t do it.

Is It Rude If You Don't Keep Your Eye Contact when People Talk to You?

Answered on Quora.
You are not supposed to yell at someone over things like that, but then I am an introvert and I hardly yell at anyone over anything, even when I probably ought to.
On the other hand, an extrovert may well yell at you for something like that because, well, that’s just the way they ride. This is one of things that makes it hard for us introverts to get along with extroverts.
They’re always raising their voices, getting angry, sort of yelling, and blowing up a little bit. Then later on they act like nothing happened. I guess they do this as a matter of course with everyone they know. To us that seems mean and it also seems like there is something wrong with them, like they can’t control themselves very well.
Now we introverts, wow. I mean someone yells at us for no good reason? To us that means the whole relationship is over. We can go years without even raising our voices at a good friend or lover. We think if you ever raise your voice at someone, you better have a damn good reason.
Avoiding eye contact is a serious social violation, but some very shy people just do it that way. It tends to shut down most conversations on its own though. If I am talking to someone and they are avoiding eye contact with me, that conversation is going to be over pretty soon. I must say that if you go about avoiding eye contact with others regularly when you talk to them, you are committing social suicide.
To me, it’s rude to order someone to look me in the eyes. I would never say that. But then I am very reticent about confronting or engaging people in all sorts of adversarial ways. I am just not an aggressive person. Anyway, I have been told a lot that I don’t look people in the eye when I talk to them. Not so much anymore, more when I was young. I always thought I was looking them in the eye, but I guess I wasn’t, or maybe not enough!
I can be very soft-spoken myself, and people do ask me to repeat things fairly often. I would probably talk louder in that class. If someone was speaking so softly that I could not hear them, I would tell them to please speak up. But I would say it very nicely.
Often if you are in a quiet place, the other person will just start speaking softly too, and then you have two soft-spoken people conversing in a quiet environment. To us introverts, that’s a gloriously intimate event, one of life’s most special pleasures. There’s something very special about two friends speaking in very soft tones to each other in a quiet environment. It’s just you and then, alone together against the world. It’s beautiful, really, or at least to an introvert.
And if you are with a woman, and she starts speaking quietly along with you in a quiet place, that often means she’s up for something intimate and sexually oriented, so that’s another plus. By lowering her voice like that, she is lowering her guard and opening up her door or gate for you, so to speak. She’s also descending to a very intimate place with you. It would be unusual for her to do that with only platonic overtones.
Things are getting sexy, man! Bust a move, brothers! Go for it!

What Percentage of Transsexuals are Heterosexual before Transitioning and Remain Oriented to the Same Sex after Transition?

Answered on Quora.
Early onset transsexualism is usually an extreme form of homosexuality. 90% of early onset male to female transsexuals were gay men before they transitioned, so after transition, they remain attracted to men. Nearly all early onset female to male transsexuals were lesbians before they transitioned. After they transition, they remain attracted to women. Heterosexual early-onset transsexuals are rare, especially among women. In the older literature, early onset male to female transsexuals are referred to as Classic Transsexuals.
Late onset male to female transsexualism is probably related to autogynophilia and is almost certainly not organic. In the older literature, these people are called Fetishistic Transsexuals.
Autogynophilia is a paraphilia that is developmental as all paraphilias are. These men are turned on sexually by the image of themselves as a woman. Bruce/Caitlin Jenner is almost certainly this type of transsexual.
However, these men differ from traditional fetishistic transvestites in many ways, as they have cross-dressed more and for longer, and they are much more likely to see themselves as women.
Of late onset male to female or Fetishistic transsexuals, 1/3 are gay, 1/3 are bisexual, and 1/3 are straight. Oddly enough, many late onset male to female transsexuals have been extremely masculine in their lives before they became transsexual.

Can a Person Have Above Average IQ 125-135 SD=15 and Still Be a Slow Thinker?

Answered on Quora.
That would not make sense at all.
IQ more than anything else (at least fluid IQ) is a test of raw, pure, brain speed and efficiency. Studies have found that as IQ rises, the brain works more efficiently.
If you have spent time around bright people, one of the most striking things about them is how lightning fast they are. This can be seen even in conversation. Have you ever met people so fast that they almost finish your sentences for you. You get halfway through the sentence, and they are already reacting to the sentence because they have actually predicted what the rest of the sentence is! That’s pretty damn smart.
Some very bright people have fast moving eyes. If you watch them when they talk, you see their eyes flitting all around very rapidly. Sometimes there are also a lot of micromovements with their faces.
In fact, I think I can see this even comparing a 110–115 IQ person to a 95–100 IQ person (I am guessing at their IQ’s). The latter are noticeably slower, and the former are often strikingly fast. The slower people are often very nice and pleasant, but they’re just not as fast. You have to admit it.

Do High School Results Reflect IQ?

Answered on Quora.
I do not think so.
Actually a better answer is that they often do but not always. High IQ people can get low grades and test scores but low IQ people cannot get high grades and test scores.
I have a genius level IQ (147 – anything over 140 qualifies as genius level), but my SAT score was only 1100. But I was a screw-off pot-smoking semi-juvenile delinquent. That’s not considered a particularly high score. There is a conversion where you can convert an SAT score to IQ. It’s probably correct for the high and very high scores, but maybe not as you descend downwards. For instance, my 1100 SAT score converts to a significantly lower IQ than 147.
I will tell you what though. Slow people (lower IQ people are de facto slower as IQ mostly tests raw brain speed) don’t get straight A’s. And straight A star students do not tend to have average IQ’s.

Do Gay People Hate Bisexuals?

Answered on Quora.
I am not sure if they hate them, but a fair number of gay men have a low opinion of bisexual men. Their attitude is that bisexual men are really gay. It’s not true. Some men are actually bisexual, and it has actually been proved in the lab recently, the gold standard for sexology. Have you ever noticed that almost nothing in the PC line about LGBT’s has been proven in the lab or published in peer reviewed publications? That is because the PC line on LGBT is largely made up of untruths at best, lies at worst.
Gay Politics is propaganda for gays. Feminism is propaganda for women. Antiracism is propaganda for nonwhites. Trans politics is propaganda for trans people. White Politics is propaganda for Whites. All Identity Politics, including of course Gay Politics, is based on lies. I really wish gay men would get off the Identity Politics bandwagon. I understand that they want to protect themselves, but building a castle of belligerent lies seems a flimsy way to do that.
Anyway, yes a fair number of gay men believe in the falsehood that all bisexual men are really gay. If you do not believe me, head on over to Data Lounge and see for yourself.
However, their argument is more nuanced that that. A large number of so-called bisexual men, especially young men in their 20’s, are actually gay men who are hiding under the bisexual label. But bisexual men do exist, and as I have said, it’s even been proven by science.

Is It True That the Number of LGBT People Is Growing More and More by the Year?

Answered on Quora.
Indeed in the most recent poll in the UK, the rate of homosexuality and bisexuality has increased dramatically among the youngest generation (18–30).
Now whether the rate is really going up or not will be the subject of an endless circular argument because no matter how high the rate goes, the PC people will always insist that these are just more and more people who would have been counted gay in prior years except they were closeted.
All increases will be hand-waved away as “people coming out of the closet.” Because of this tautological argument the PC types always trot out of all increases being explained by people leaving the closet, we may never be able to determine if the rate of this sort of thing is increasing or not.
I have had also had PC people explain increases in the rate of homosexuality as “those people were already gay anyway.” Once again we see an argument circling around itself. In fact, an argument like this fails falsifiability and hence it is not only inherently false, but it’s not even wrong!
The rate of bisexuality among young women in the West is skyrocketing in recent years, from 1.5% to 12%. Obviously this is a real increase, and many of these women are simply choosing this orientation. There’s no way that all of those women were “born that way.”
It is absolutely certain that the rate of transgenderism is skyrocketing in recent decades. In the 1960’s-1980’s, the rate was 1/90,000. It was quite rare all through the 1970’s. In recent years the rate has exploded to the point where in Generation Z, an incredible 2% of the population claims to be transsexual.
Therefore the rate of transgenderism has gone up 1,800 times (!) in recent years. It’s pretty obvious that there that that 180,000% (!) increase cannot possibly be explained away on an organic basis. Clearly many people are simply choosing to be transsexuals for whatever reason. Either that or it is a mental disorder, which is my position. In that case, the rate of this mental illness is going through the roof.
If it is a choice, it doesn’t seem like a good one to me, as the rates of psychiatric morbidity and mortality among trans people are extremely high. Transsexuals commit suicide at fully 18–57 times the rate of the rest of the population. Their overall death rate is 2.5 X higher than the rest of the population. Rates of heart disease and cancer are double to triple that of the rest of us. 41% of transsexuals attempt suicide. Their life expectancy is cut short, possibly by decades.
The usual PC argument here once again is that no matter what the transgender rate is, the rate was the same in prior years, except these transsexuals were all closeted. I am sorry, but I find it very hard to believe that 2% of the people in my or my parents’ generations were transsexual. Doesn’t pass the smell test. Furthermore, the argument is tautological and hence not only is it not correct, but it’s not even wrong!

Is a Man Who Doesn't Like Breasts Automatically Gay?

Answered on Quora.
No, but it would be awful strange if a straight man did not like women’s breasts. I have never heard of such a man in my life. What’s wrong with him? He doesn’t like tits? Why not? What the Hell is his problem? If these men exist at all, I think there is something wrong with them.
Gay men have no sexual interest in women’s breasts, zero. And in fact, quite a few gay men find women’s breasts to be disgusting. “It looks like a cow!” is a pretty frequent comment you hear from gay men about women’s breasts. This is normal for them, as gay men like men and not women, and disinterest in women’s bodies is ubiquitous and even even disgust with their bodies is fairly common among gay men.