"Mother Water"

This is a bit more of my creative writing. And yes, I have been published in literary journals, in case you were asking. I published a short story in a single literary journal. There were a lot of  unknown names in there, but there were also a couple of big names – Gary Snyder and Allen Ginsberg. I remember at the bar afterwards Gary Snyder said he liked Journey Through the Zone. That was my story.
Anyway, is this better as prose or as a poem?

The sea. Once again the sea. Again and again the sea. Always again the sea. The sea from which we came. The sea to which we will return. Our mother. Mother water.

Or:

Mother  Water

The sea
Once again the sea
Again and again the sea
Always again the sea
The sea from which we came
The sea to which we will return
Our mother
Mother water

It does make a neat little very short poem. As prose it would have to be part of a larger work or possibly a microfiction or flash fiction story.
And if you are looking for influences, check out Samuel Beckett. Maybe James Joyce too, who knows? Beckett for sure though.

3 thoughts on “"Mother Water"”

  1. That sort of writing isn’t really my thing but when I read the repetition I kind of had a sense of the repetitive patterns of the sea, like the way the waves slide over the sand at the shore, again and again. So I guess that’s something.

  2. I skipped through ‘The Shape of Water’ and I would say it’s basically bestiality romanticized. let’s say a porn video of a janitor with a lab monkey on the loose and now the monkey was replaced by a fishman and threw in some nostalgic shades and music. Well, it’s said to be a retro-fantasy set in 60s’ cold war era. The aspiring script writer inside me gave it a slight twist…mmm…how about setting it in the 2020s china-yank econ cold war era: A janitor found a meaty cow size dog inside a secret installation and the Chinese communists wanted to steal it for meat dog genetic breeding experiment…
    Your imagination for the rest of the story would be as good as mine…
    https://i.imgur.com/GnSq8qo.png

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