Corpse Landmarks on Mount Everest

I don’t care about all the fools who died climbing Mt. Everest or K2. Actually K2 has killed quite a few more people than Everest. The people who got killed climbing Everest are still sitting there on that mountain, frozen human hot dogs on an icebox mountain. I’m not sure what it means that they are still there. Maybe there is no way to go get the body. Those bodies are actually marked on maps and are used as landmarks by people climbing the mountain! Can you believe it? You are looking at a map climbing Everest and your friend points in the distance at this darker colored object on the mountain. That’s Climber #74 over there. We call him Human Frozen Burrito for short. It’s on the map. Find Human Burrito on the map, and you can figure out where we are on this infernal mountain.

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7 thoughts on “Corpse Landmarks on Mount Everest”

  1. When I was 16, me along with three of my friends decided to climb Mt. Everest. Really how difficult it could be? We were all naive enough to believe that you don’t need any specialized equipment to make that climbing. We did pack flags, Frisbees and cigarettes (bad idea). Just a spirit of adventure.
    Anyhoo (Lol), we crossed over into Nepal from the border near Gorakhpur. I used my learner’s driving license as ID. Slowly, we trekked all the way to Everest Base Camp. It wasn’t so much commercialized with mountain clubs and base camp package tours. Today, it’s illegal to travel to the Base Camp on your own. We had used yaks for the last 500 meters of our climb.
    At more than 5000m near base camp, the oxygen supply was thin at Base Camp. We even smoked our cigs there. But, that illusion of invincibility didn’t last very long. I was having breathing difficulties.
    It’s only here we realized that any further ascent would require specialized mountain boots, heavy gear, oxygen cylinders, tent equipment, all at a steep price of 150,000 Indian Rupees (nearly $4000 back then). It’s all a fault of Westerners. Wealthy and privileged White people make everything expensive for the rest of humanity.
    Of course we had to head back. Not before hurling abuses at Mt Everest showing the middle finger, and vandalizing the mountain by peeing on its face. We defaced the mountain by inscribing “fuck you” on its chalky surface.
    Everest was probably laughing back at us. “My dear punks, come any closer, and I’ll let you stay here forever.”
    I made a symbolic climb of up to 100 feet and put myself a flag there. It was as far as I could have gone without oxygen. Nearly impossible to breathe.

  2. Just walking up and down these 60 foot ravines in the 5 mile circuit of Lake Charleston completely wiped me out the other day, and that’s down near sea level. Nobody is going to risk death at altitudes where you can barely function to bring down a human popsicle. That’s what we’ll have to invent C3PO for.

  3. There is an excellent film called Everest about the 1996 Everest disaster.
    The bodies are all in the death zone, where the oxygen is too low to sustain human life for long. Its the cruising altitude of a 747. Once you reach the death zone, you have a limited time to get up and down.
    I guess the question is who would get the bodies? Its like a six week expedition because you have to acclimatize gradually and its expensive and dangerous and you’d be risking lives just like if you climbed it.

  4. They had a reality TV show at base camp ten years ago on Discovery. These people coming to climb this thing are all filthy rich, Joe Blow just can’t toss away the price of a new Mercedes to take 4 months off work to get a selfie at the top of Everest. Those who aren’t rich themselves are high profile athletic type adventures who manage to talk rich people into paying for their endless summer. I heard the government of Nepal cut down on the amount of climb permits allowed because too many people who weren’t really the elite of the elite were crowding the mountain making it much more dangerous. On that reality TV show there was an hour wait behind a crowd to climb up a narrow one man ladder at one spot on the route up. They had a rule if you are not at certain points at certain times you’d never make it back before sundown and had to turn around. As predictable, people who forked out $60K wouldn’t listen and some dude lost half of his fingers and toes from frostbite.

  5. I saw some footage of climbers walking by those permafrosted climbers. It is really eerie and downright creepy because the bodies are so well preserved. Anybody could end up being one of those human popsicles if there is an unexpected change in weather or someone gets injured during the journey. There is a gentleman’s agreement with climbers that if you get hurt or fall into a ravine, the group continues on and you are left to die. They simply have no way of carrying a wounded person down from Everest. From what I’ve heard it takes every ounce of strength in your body just get yourself up and down. I couldn’t imagine having to leave behind a climbing partner to die

  6. In the “death zone”, at around 26,000 feet, every ounce of strength you have is needed to merely move yourself upward. To carry a dead body down is impossible. Dead bodies are left where they are or pushed into the nearest ravine. Even dying people are left behind if they can’t keep up. It’s one of the basic climbing rules of Everest.

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