The Likable Homophobe: Are You One, and What Do You Tell People When You Choose Not to Spend Time with a Someone Because of Their Homosexuality?

Answered on Quora:
I believe that almost all straight men are homophobic on a certain level – and that level is that they hate homosexuality and especially the idea of doing it themselves. Dirty little secret – most straight men are completely straight in part because they think that engaging in homosexual acts is the worst thing on Earth, and this is why they don’t engage in them.
There is a problem when you say that engaging in homosexual acts is just fine. Now the question comes up, “Well, why don’t you do it, then?” And the ugly truth is that most straight men find that idea so horrific that they would rather die than do that. A number of straight men have told me that they would rather take a bullet than engage in a homosexual act. That’s how severe the revulsion is.
Now the question becomes if we think this type of sex is the worst thing on Earth, how can we accept it in other people? This is a bind, but many straight men solve the bind by saying that gay men cannot help being gay, so it’s therefore immoral to hate them. Others somehow say that it’s the worst thing on Earth for them to do it, but it’s ok if those gay guys want to do it.
As you can see, it is difficult for straight men to reconcile their extreme revulsion for gay sex with somehow managing to accept biological gay men for what they are.
The source of a lot of homophobia is simply this rooted in this very revulsion. This seems more common than religious objections from guys I have known.
And it is a problem once you say gay sex is fine. I assure that once a lot of straight men say there’s nothing wrong with gay sex (as we are supposed to think nowadays) that you are going to see a lot more opportunistic and recreational bisexuality among basically straight men. And my anecdotal evidence is that we are seeing just that right now.
It’s a bind. On the one hand, the revulsion causes a lot of homophobia, but on the other hand, once you say there’s nothing wrong with it, I assure you that a lot more guys will start doing it. There’s bad outcomes either way in my opinion.
The likable homophobe would be someone whose homophobia is simply limited to a desire not to associate or deal with gay men. If that’s the total extent of your homophobia, I don’t see the problem. Nobody has to associate or deal with anyone. Our associations are our personal choice and in a free society, everyone has a moral right to associate with whoever they wish.
In fact, I do not associate or even deal much with gay men myself. I don’t hate what they do if they can’t help it. On the other hand, I have had a lifetime of bad experiences with gay men, and I simply do not wish to deal with them anymore. Can someone tell me why this is wrong?
However, I have supported gay rights for decades and even endured accusations of being gay for supporting gay rights. To this day, I support a lot of gay political causes, and I am on the mailing list for gay political organizations. And I do participate in a lot of their campaigns.
In summary, if the total extent of your homophobia is not wishing to associate with gay men, I would say your homophobia is basically nothing and that level of mild homophobia indeed qualifies as a “likable homophobe.”

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14 thoughts on “The Likable Homophobe: Are You One, and What Do You Tell People When You Choose Not to Spend Time with a Someone Because of Their Homosexuality?”

  1. Not sure if we should support any gay rights, to be honest. Look now how they are making children’s books with gay bunnies. It was on the late show the other night. John Oliver was showing off a copy.
    Anyway, though, I’d say at the least, don’t ask, don’t tell is the best policy.

  2. Gays love to pretend that “religion” is what is behind homophobia, but in fact the handful of obscure references to it in the bible are just used by those who are innately disgusted by what gay men do to justify their revulsion. The gays want you to believe it’s as simple as banning christianity and then everyone will view rimming and fisting as wholesome as mom, baseball, and apple pie. As if some Brett Farve type yokel is just hanging around the bait shop thinking french kissing Bluto and pounding his poop filled hairy ass is just fine, then someone showed him a verse in Leviticus, and he magically turned into a raging homophobe? What planet are they living on?

    1. No, of course, the guys bashing gays and using the Bible are the biggest sinners around (aside from gay stuff).

  3. A number of straight men have told me that they would rather take a bullet than engage in a homosexual act. That’s how severe the revulsion is.<<

    I recall reading something by the homo journalist Dan Savage. He said that he would sooner take a bullet in the head than he would eat pussy. Homos feel a deep revulsion towards the idea of eating pussy. Probably equal in intensity to the disgust that straight men experience from the thought of engaging in gay sex.

    1. That’s very interesting and you are correct indeed. I have some anecdotes about that, but maybe I will save it for a post. You are indeed correct that many gay men are quite grossed out by the thought of eating pussy. Also a lot of gay men hate women’s bodies – they think they are gross and disgusting. So straight men are just doing what gay men do. Each group of men is disgusted by the other’s practices.

      1. I love the scent of every part of a woman’s body, from the hair down to the crud in the toes and every place in between, and I man EVERY place. Women are heaven, if only they wouldn’t drive me crazy.

        1. I’ve eaten a lot of women’s and girl’s pussies, I mean scores of them. I can hardly think of one time when it smelled so bad that it was hard to do. Most of the time it doesn’t smell like much of anything, honestly.
          The smells like fish thing is fake. If she smells like fish, she has an infection. It’s called bacterial vaginitis. It’s not a normal condition.
          A normal clean pussy doesn’t smell like anything it all – it literally has no smell whatsoever.

        2. Tastes sour to me. Not enjoyable. But anyway, do you think really manly guys are doing this – or the hen pecked? Seems like females want to boss around certain guys and use them for a sex toy which to the guy, becomes a chore, not fun.

          1. Just as I said pussy doesn’t really smell like anything, it doesn’t taste like much of anything either, although some women’s pussy juices can taste sort of sweet, almost like honey. It’s pretty fun eating a pussy that tastes like honey!
            Hell yeah! Lots of masculine guys love to eat pussy. It’s not a submissive act at all. I guess it can be, but most women don’t treat it that way in either straight or lesbian sex. Henpecked men don’t get laid at all. A woman who henpecks her husband is not even going to give him the pleasure of eating her pussy. She’s disgusted with him.
            I’ve had sex with more women than your average guy will in 15-20 years, and no woman has ever treated me like a sex toy. Although some paid for everything. I joked and said I’m a gigolo, and they said, “That’s right, you’re my gigolo.” But they never used me as an object or anything like that. And sex never became a chore for me with any gf. At the point it becomes a chore, I am outa here.

        3. Long time ago as a teen working a the grocery store we had a phony “mega church” type chick who it turned out was OK with oral shit, just not fucking. One dorky Polak dude was obsessed with her, though she didn’t feel the same way but after some dates she let him eat her out. Another “Rocky” type wiser city smarts type adult dude who worked there said. “Oh how nasty, NEVER EVER eat of a chick who doesn’t fuck, they don’t know how to take care of themselves. A chick who fucks washes out her pussy all the time and it is tasteless. But a virgin type chick who doesn’t fuck has a stinky unwashed hole festering since birth.”

  4. I would most likely consider myself a likeable homophobe, as long as they are not too in your face about it. I have had a few friends who are gay. Once, a guy I considered a good friend asked me if he could give me a blow job, after a few drinks. I just said something on the lines of “Get lost, you faggot!” and pretended to have forgotten about it later. Contrary to what many may think, I wasn’t even traumatised by this, or feel a sense of betrayal. I still think of him as a good buddy and I won’t mind being alone with him, because I can take care of myself and it’s not like he’s going to force himself on me. Maybe, I did what in heterosexual parlance would be ‘friendzoned’ him. While I find the act of male homosexuality disgusting and repulsive, I do not hate gays as individuals, I rather feel sorry for them. I feel even sorrier for trannies, men who willingly choose to grow boobs and cut off their penis, and some even don’t do that. Unlike gays, those are severely disturbed individuals.

    1. That’s fine. If you want to pity gays and trannies and not hate them, that’s fine. I don’t see how it’s homophobia.
      I have actually had a few of my very good friends proposition me for gay sex in that very same way. I acted like “Um, I didn’t hear that!” I never mentioned it again and they never did it again. I think they are both predominantly straight and have done little if any gay stuff, but young straight men have sex with guys sometimes.

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