I am friends with the local Yemeni Arab men at the corner store. These men are aggressively masculine and even sexist in all of the stereotypical ways, so it should be instructive to examine them to see how normative hypermasculinity and homophobia works in general straight male culture.
Now these guys never bring up the subject of male homosexuality, however, which is probably the way it ought to be. Most straight men would probably prefer to talk about such things as little as possible.
These guys are quite sexist, but they also really like to fuck. They love to talk about sex. The father is my age, and we talk about screwing women all the time. He’s a classic dirty old man, and I get the feeling that that is normal in their society.
And they are extremely macho, but not in an exclusionary way like so many American men. For instance, all of those macho Arab guys accept me completely. The way to get along with those guys is simple: act macho, act masculine. You do it, and they do it back. You have to act like a man. That may be all you need to do to get their acceptance, but I would argue that is it necessary to get their respect. If you don’t act masculine, they will probably not respect you.
You do not actually have to be married to be accepted by Arab men. There are men in Arab society who never marry. As long as they act very masculine, no one is going to care. Some of these are known to not like women very much, but most Arab men will laugh about that, as they are brutally sexist themselves. There’s generally not a suggestion of homosexuality in an unmarried man in that culture.
If you are a single man, you are pretty much ok, but you can become much more ok if they know you screw women. In their culture, single men can’t screw women at all, so if you are a single guy screwing women without marrying them, to them, that is a source of amazement and jealousy.
Those guys have seen me with goodlooking women from time to time, and they know that women come stay with me from time to time. They also know that I go stay with women sometimes. Also I have picked up women and phone numbers and dates with them right in front of their yes. And women sometimes come in the store asking the guys if they’ve seen me.
That’s all you need to do! If they know you get laid, you are in like Flynn. And it helps if the women are goodlooking. You don’t even have to get much sex. If you get any at all, they think that is amazing since you are single.
One of the other rules with those Arab guys seems to be: No faggotry. They don’t even discuss it. Well, if you bring it up they will discuss it a bit. Once I had not had sex for a long time and I made a joke about doing it with a guy, and the father laughed in my face and told me to go do it. So homosexuality is seen as ridiculous, preposterous, an object of extreme ridicule. That probably keeps most of them from doing it right there.
I talked about it with one of the sons and told him that gay men did not get turned on by women and he was amazed. He simply could not believe it, which is the normal straight male way of looking at gay men. We simply cannot comprehend how any man could not get turned on by women. It’s just bizarre.
I then went on to discuss gay men and he acted very disgusted, but he also thought it was absolutely hilarious. So once again homosexuality is regarded as bizarre, unthinkable, ridiculous, and an object of ridicule. I doubt if there is much of it in their culture.
I’m straight, but I assume that if I started talking about screwing guys or flirting with those guys, they would get pretty upset. That’s something that is simply not done and would be seen as very outrageous.
The rules for getting along with Arab men are simple:
- Act macho, act like a man, be tough and hard as nails.
- Marriage is not necessary, but it very much helps to get laid now and again.
- Be interested in women at the very least whether you have sex with them or not.
- No wimpy, pussy, sissy, or feminine behaviors: no complaining, no bitching except in a macho way, no admitting you are depressed, no cowardliness, etc.
- A sense of humor is very helpful. Arab men love to laugh and take it easy.
- No homosexuality period, dammit. Don’t even talk about it. Seriously.