Just Get Rid of Your Family, and Everything Will Be Fine

So says Steve Molyneux! And we all need to listen to him right now! Why? Because he’s famous, dude, come on. His every word is 24 carat. How could he be wrong?

He tells everyone to completely cut out your biological family from your life forever. Well, granted, people do this, and here in the US, apparently it’s almost a requirement. I live 33 miles away from my mother, and I keep getting told by lots of people that that means I still live with my Mom! Because in Amurika, if you life within driving distance of your folks, that means you still live at home.

You guys wonder why I hate people.

Look, independence is a good idea, but friends, even the so-called best ones who almost never are best friends because they’re not for life, come and go like the weather. Friends and girlfriends, especially the latter, drop me from their lives forever and ever as casually as taking out the trash, which is what I figure they are doing.

I am talking people I have known for years, like 10 years. Yeah. Just like that. Bam. It’s over.

In other words, guess what? Newsflash!  Friends and lovers come and go like the breeze! People who swear they will stay with you for life leave after a year or two, and that’s if they didn’t take off in several months.

Whatever. This is just the way it goes.

With no familial bonds, humans are simply free to cut off the deepest relationships without even a hint of afterthought.

Guilt? What’s that? A word in the dictionary? You miss someone? What the Hell does that mean?

Friends for life! Oh please. Get real. I have maybe two friends for life. Two. That’s exactly how many stuck with me through it all.

At the end of the day, only your Goddamn family is going to back you up forever in the long haul. And in my case, this even means extended family like aunts, whom I am very close to, as I am usually closer to women than men. Uncles are fine too, but they haven’t really backed me up. Cousins? Fair weather friends. Not really there when you need them.

Immediate family? Bingo. No matter what, you can always go home again.  They will try to get you out of any jam. No matter how bad you screw up, they always take you back with open arms, just like 0% of your friends and lovers.

Conclusion: Anyone who cuts out their supportive immediate family is stupider than Hell.

Wait. You are going to cut out the very people who will always be there for year, endless forgiveness, no grudges, always taking you back no matter what, for what now? For non-blood friends who come and go like the traffic and zero you out in an instant with barely a word of explanation? Great plan!

Why would anyone think this is a bright idea? Why the Hell would I do something so stupid? For my “psychological health?” So I can be an “adult?”

Blood’s thicker than water. Only your family will stick with you to the end. Things called “friends” and “lovers” are transitory entities who fly right out of your life like birds, never to be seen or heard from again.

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6 thoughts on “Just Get Rid of Your Family, and Everything Will Be Fine”

  1. I agree with you Robert if you come from a normal family. I had to cut out my dad because he was an abusive destructive controlling alcoholic asshole. He used to hit my mom, destroy our property, threaten us and tell us to get out of the house. When I was in high school and I relied on my mom to drive me to school events, he would disconnect parts of the engine so the car wouldn’t run. If my mom had only done or not done x, he wouldn’t have had to do that and I’d be able to get to the track meet.

    When I was 18 we had an agreement where he bought me a car and I made payments to him every month so I didn’t have to pay interest on a loan (I had no credit anyway). After my mom left and my sister left and I was the last one in the house to take his abuse, I finally had to leave as well. Afterward I never missed a payment to him (I mailed him a check), but he “stole” my car from the college parking lot because he anticipated me not paying him (he owned the title). Came out to the parking lot from classes one day and it was gone. I had to rely on friends for transportation for six months before I was able to secure a loan and pay him off.

    I made about $3.50 an hour at a part-time job and owed him around $2,000. It was hard enough for me to work and go to school with very little money, but he made it incredibly difficult and I was lucky to have my friends at that time. He was remorseless and did everything he could to harm, hinder, and control. I had to cut him out, and my life has been better for it. He died in 1999 at age 59 and I have never been able to tell from the coroner’s report whether it was a heart attack, alcoholism, or an accident, but seems to be a combination of all three? He fell in the tub and hit his head, but he was apparently drunk at the time.

    I had to go to his funeral and hadn’t talked to him in 14 years. Didn’t know the guy and was glad he was dead. Weirdly people were offering their condolences to me. During those 14 years I used to have fears that he would find me and try to kill me (he was a gun lover). I never told him my address but it was in the phone book. I’ve been at peace since he died. So I guess my point is that blood is not always thicker than water. Sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to cut out blood in order to live. Maybe like cutting off a gangrenous foot. Not ideal but necessary and ultimately lets you live. But you’re right about friends too. The friends that supported me during the time I had no car have since dropped me as well (or I dropped them). But during the time I was friends with them they were better for me and did more for me than my dad.

    1. My mother is a narcissist and has never asked me how I am since I can recall. I remember looking after my sisters growing up. She made me fear outsiders like they would use me and spit me out but it was her that did that to me (and my sisters). She certainly wasn’t there for me like so called families are supposed to do. While I haven’t cut her out of my life completely, she is by no means supportive, just a burden whom I still love. It’s sad to have no parents growing up but I’m a bubbly chirpy girl now. I decided to go with happy despite my past. I’m delusionally happy instead of focusing on the pain and hurt. Sometimes I naturally go back to that place and mourn my childhood but then I pick out the best parts and focus on that.

      Family is not blood, it’s those who stick by you that are your real family. You are more likely to put more effort into your friends when you dont have a family. If they are in the same situation as you, you bond closer than blood.

  2. I’ve heard about this. I haven’t actually listened to the videos where he talks about this, but apparently this is what puts his following into the category of a “therapeutic cult” for some.If this is a categorical command, then I agree it is insanely stupid and whack. I charitably assumed that this was advice for people with $#!!tt& families, i.e. that they should not feel guilty for being unable to fix the relationship, and just move on. But maybe not.

  3. Molyneux has some useful things to say, but you must filter it through your own experience of reality. He builds a lovely fantasy world that contradicts reality.

    1. This is a problem with philosophy generally. If you don’t get out enough, it is fairly easy to ignore reality and build lovely mind castles on the basis of your favorite obsessions.

  4. I pretty much refuse to listen to Libertarians on principle, but sometimes I listen to them when they talk about world politics. They are very anti-imperialist and isolationist and they hate our aggressive foreign policy, so they’re nice to listen to on that subject and they often have a lot of great new insights and information.

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