Tulio writes in response to an article about The Meaning of the Female Blank, Frozen, Hypnotized, Robotic Stare:
This almost never happens to me. Though it has happened before. It’s just extremely rare. Especially now that I’m getting older. Even though I’m not a bad looking guy per se.
It’s one of the best things that can ever happen to a man, no?
It seems like this never happens to me anymore while I am older, but for sure it happened sometimes when I was younger. But even then, it wasn’t common.
I am wondering if there is a difference between this and other types of female stares.
I had this hot young bank teller, 20 years old, who used to look at me all the time like I was lunch, but then when I would go up to the counter, she was a bit cold and hostile. But didn’t have that same almost creepy look where they lock eyes with you and act like they can’t let go.
I had some young woman friends who were around college age who had friendzoned me with the explanation, “I can’t, Bob! It would be like doing it with my Dad!”, but at my age, I expect to be friendzoned by women that age and that’s a very good reason they gave for friendzoning me.
Whenever I had woman troubles I would check in with my young friends and unlike most females, they would actually try to help me get laid!
Most women not only will not try to help you in this area, but they will actively discourage you with pessimism, lies, self-delusion, denial, guilt-tripping, discouragement, and even disgust.
But my coed friends were baffled by some of my problems. They would often say, “I don’t know, Bob. I can’t figure this out. Women are really weird. I can’t understand them myself. Even women find women baffling and incomprehensible!
I finally decided that the bank teller liked to look at me, maybe because I was nice to look at. Maybe she was fantasizing about me. I have no idea, but women fantasize as much as men do. On the other hand, she had no desire to go out with me whatsoever. So I was in the “nice to look at but wouldn’t touch him” category. This was the first time I had even gotten such a bizarre message but once I figured out what it looked like, I saw it other times.
I started getting some similar weirdness from some other cute young women around the same age. Some of them, on first meeting me, their bodies would actually sort of lurch forwards a bit in an almost involuntary way. Totally primal mammalian behavior. Then they would always stop themselves a few seconds later and pull back. Another one, when I had my shirt buttoned down a bit, looked at my hairy chest for few seconds and it was like she saw a filet mignon. But then she sort of pulled back too. And of those women subsequently were not even very friendly to me. I assure you that none of them wanted to go out with in any way, shape or form.
I think on some basic raw level, they were attracted to me, but then their frontal cortex kicks in, and they’re like WAIT. This guy is 50! He is 30 years older than you! He is old enough to be your Dad! Forget it!”
Women are not total animals and slaves to their animal desires. Maybe it would be better if they were. These women were human enough to check their raw animal instricts with their brains a few seconds later and their cortex kicked and said, “Forget this plan. This makes no sense. He’s an old man!”
I guess the moral to the story is that just because some woman signals that she likes you on some primal animal level or keeps staring at you, sadly this doesn’t mean she wants any romantic or sexual involvement. She might not even want to be friends. You might just be eye candy, nice to look, but she has no intention of dealing with you on anything more advanced than that. Just enjoy being a sex object and move on with your life.
Some men might get mad at women who do this to them and accuse them of false advertising, I think this is the wrong idea. Men like to fantasize, right? Well, women like to fantasize too. If all she wants to do is look at you and fantasize about you, what’s wrong with that? Why is that a bad thing? It’s pretty flattering, right?
I must say though that this is one of the weirdest and most complicated nonverbal communications a man is ever going to get from women, and most men have no idea what it is and they wouldn’t understand it even if a woman was doing it right in front of their face. Nonverbal communication is incredibly complex and getting very good at it is almost like getting a PhD in a very difficult subject. Not only that, but the learning goes on forever. Even the finest social actors are still learning new things every day of their lives into middle and late age.
No one ever “gets it” in life. Education is optimally ongoing until death but probably rarely if ever complete even though your average idiotic human thinks he graduated Magna Cum Laude form Life University at a very early age. In a situation like this, vanity breeds apathy, an unproductive mindset, and stasis. It’s always a bad idea to stop learning about life. It’s not only arrogant but it’s also stupid.